Modern Masculinity： The Alpha Male - with Sim Chhabra
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183.62993
Summary
In this episode, we discuss the four categories of men: alpha, beta, omega and Sigma. Alpha is what is predominantly revered in society and is your most dominant leader, the leader that is in the forefront. Beta is more like a supporting actor. Omega is the one sitting on the fence. Sigma is the lone wolf.
Transcript
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ladies and gentlemen welcome to tpo media yes it is me again little brady wedham i don't know if
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you've been sick of my face yet but i know somebody who hasn't been sick of my face yet
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which is surprising because i encourage you to go check out the last episode called what is man
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with our resident psychotherapist sim the simulator shabra thanks for joining me again
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thanks for having me again and we left this on a note of basically saying that all four um
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categories of man that you laid out we're technically all four of those categories we can
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kind of pull from from different categories but realistically we share all traits and what are
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those four traits so you have alpha you have beta omega and then sigma so to kind of recap for the
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audience. Alpha is what, you know, is predominantly revered in society and that's your most dominant,
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the leader, you know, the guy that's in the forefront. Beta is more like a supporting actor
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for, to give you better reference, you know, they follow the Alpha, they kind of keep the suit,
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they keep the herd in check. And then you have the Omega, they tend to be the outliers in terms
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of observers uh they're the ones kind of sitting on the fence you know they get kind of hurried in
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and then you have your sigmas which are considered like your lone wolves right so those are your four
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main characteristics and i feel like i share traits to all four of those things in different ways
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we all do because we we take on those rules in different ways right so you could be an alpha
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say, for example, your job position requires you to lead a team, right? So now you have to
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embody alpha traits, because how else are you going to keep them? Like a CEO is a very good
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example of an alpha, right? A beta would be parent, right? Because when you are co-parenting,
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you kind of like sometimes take the lead. So, you know, we were talking about women nurture,
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right? Well, then you're going to have to take a beta role in that lens because you're going to be
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a supporting person in that. Your omegas, we're more often omegas than not. And that's when you're
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looking at like societal structures, right? So that CEO alpha is still an omega because he has
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to go to work. He has- Still got to put on the suit and tie. He's still got to do the routine.
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And he's bound by the stakeholders and the shareholders and the board of directors versus
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the employee who's bound by him. So in the bigger picture, he becomes the Omega.
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And Sigma is just his personal drive. Maybe he's looking for creating his own mark, right? So that's
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where you kind of weave through all four at any given time. And you're not specifically bound.
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And that's something that when I work with men and I work with men with identity,
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um once you type guess yourself into one corner and you go no i'm only that that's where you
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create the imbalance because now you're trying to take a characteristic in all four lanes when
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it wouldn't work so to give you an example uh you can't take an alpha and a beta role because then
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if you're talking to your bad your boss at that level well now you're being insubordinate or say
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if you're in the army that's a very good example of alpha beta omegas yeah mostly alpha betas so
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if your superior gives you a command, you can't be an alpha there.
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You can be an, I guess the only way that you could really be an alpha in that situation is
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once you're actually doing the mission, you can put yourself in an alpha position, right?
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Well, the alpha comes more in when the public sees you because you've taken on the sense of a
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service and servitude, right? So in a societal lens, because society is not going to distinguish
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the serviceman till you start looking at titles the fact that you serve now you're an alpha say in
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your group you may be a private but in your group you're an alpha because you're doing something
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far more right but within your unit you're a beta well it's it we keep saying the word alpha and
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we had we had left it where we were going to break down all four of those categories so because we
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keep saying alpha and it seems to be fun and you brought me a nice book called the art of manliness
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which i'm going to read when we're done here alpha let's break down alpha just in itself
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and we'll try and we'll try and stay into that category so as far as i know an alpha male is not
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only the things that you explain but alpha males seem to be what leaves the narcissistic and
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arrogance movement where it takes confidence and turns it into something completely different so
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when you're saying something like when you're saying things like if you're just going to hone
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the alpha the alpha mentality that that can get out of control right i've seen it happen in my own
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life i was probably a little bit busier as a kid than most kids at the time and that led to like
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a delusional kind of confidence which eventually by my teens had led to an arrogance by 1920 i was
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completely narcissistic and and self-aware enough of what was going on that i was starting to feel
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guilt so it was like a one day i would wake up i'd be in a mentality of being super narcissist
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the next day i wake up and feel guilty for the way that i lived that day previously
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so that's an example of me being not only young and trying to figure myself out but being stuck
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in that alpha mentality and it got out of control am i correct with saying or thinking that alpha
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male is what drives the narcissism yes and you brought up a very good point and i kind of want
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to expand that on a bit expand a bit expand that a bit sorry so third time's always the best sam
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three times the charm that's what they say um when you look at puberty right because you brought up 19
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men or boys or anybody in that gender i'm still a boy don't get yourself confused right i'm going
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on green mentally so um that's when definition of masculinity starts coming to fruition right
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because you go back in time as well uh that's considered coming of age right um when we we
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were talking about you know the the nomadic caveman days right and you look at it like through the
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natives lens and stuff it's a separation from childhood to manhood right so this is where
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you know some cultures would have where they would send you out into the forest and you had
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to scavenge your way back or you spent a week on a spiritual journey right that that was your
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awakening part of it so it's very common to have spikes and valleys right so you know you might be
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having because your body's also developing testosterone you know you're developing sperm
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and like you're going through a physical change so that's very common um by the time you reach
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1920 if you don't have good parameters to help you shape whether it's through support at home
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or environment and andrew takes a very good example of that because when you look at his
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teen years he had to fend for himself because they moved to england so he didn't have uh his own dad
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helping him shape his thoughts okay and then we were talking about tom brady and if you look at
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tom brady in the same age he had that insular support so even though they both are extreme
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alphas they both have narcissistic tendencies the desire to always be on top always win you know
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with tom brady it's you know how many rings can i get on my finger you're seeing the way he looks
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into a camera he's a narcissist that's what i mean like but they they they exhibit different traits
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right so anything on an extreme is going to create that reality and with alphas
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it's a very thin line that it's hard for them to control because it's a self-feeding mechanism.
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Then it turns into this addiction of being superior. It's not a fault. It's not a deficiency.
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It's just they didn't learn regulation early on, so they don't know where their stop gap is.
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So as they get older in life, it's harder for them to stop because that's the only mechanism
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they know. As far as I know, you're not a scientist, but you're an expert in the chemicals
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that run around in our brain right i guess is the easiest some awareness does that do you get a
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dopamine drip when you act like an but they're not identifying it as that because they're doing
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a biological reaction right it's a field of mechanism it's like when you when you are binge
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eating cookies right you're not contemplating how much insulin your body's releasing you're
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more on like this feels good and you're repeating behavior so there are two two different detachments
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right a biologist would look at it or a dietician would look at and go oh you're you know you're
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pumping out a lot of insulin but you don't have that awareness because you're more connected with
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the sensation and the feel in the mouth same thing with uh the sense of control because it's
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psychological right so if you take either one and you put them on the on the field right so if you
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put Brady and he's got, you know, two minutes on the clock, first down 20 yard line, you catch him
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there, he's going to exhibit the same animalistic traits that a narcissist would exhibit in a normal
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function because it's how he's interpreting his environment. So what he's pulling in from
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psychology. Am I making sense? Yeah. And you know, it's funny because the more complex that this
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is laid out the more it just leads back to a primal brain so like you can we could fill this
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whole table yeah with the actual science behind why that happens but it all leads back to one
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simple thing primal brain we are biology right it's it's we over time have more inputs so we have
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more ways of understanding it but functionally we haven't evolved past basic functions right
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flight or fright right so if you don't use tom brady and you go back into a primitive brain
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and you're a hunter and a tiger's coming at you you're gonna have the same instincts right to
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make sure it doesn't attack whatever and if you have to protect somebody
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that dopamine is going to accelerate right so it's it's no different we've just changed the
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environment the biology stays the same we haven't become a different species we've just mutated
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within well when we come a different when we actually do become a different species or we
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evolve and that that reptilian or primal portion of our brain cease to exist i think that's when
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we stop throwing bombs at each other yeah right because that seems primal too right yeah because
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war that's going like going on and i don't want to side like completely yeah hijack the whole show
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but that seems like this is an ego war at this point right obviously there was a regime change
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or whatever the reasons were that they were thrown but now it's continuing as it's going you know two
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weeks in seems like this is an ego thing right i mean again it's it's like you know not to bring
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politics into and just keeping it from a psychology lens you know i consider them like you know they're
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more on the um assertive side of alpha so if you look at it through like a linear line right and
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you go okay alpha is a spectrum so you have passive alphas and you have assertive alphas
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okay and then what we're talking about is you know the ones that are like borderline assertive to
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where they have like a control and not to name names but there's like a whole category of them
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that tend to exhibit excessive assertive alpha components versus center or passive so that's
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where you start seeing it becoming an identity and you know like one of the things they talk
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about is toxic masculinity yeah which i don't i don't believe in that it it's not an appropriate
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word yeah i don't think there's anything toxic about being masculine it's irregulated yeah
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it regulated is a better right regulated masculinity sounds like a way better word
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than toxic but toxic at this point come on guys because now you're labeling and all of a sudden
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how do you decipher what is toxic because toxic is poison so are you saying poison masculinity
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or regulated masculinity this is what i'm saying it's only south i'm like it's it's a poor word
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that got attached it's an easy word because it regulated then okay what's it regulated it's
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oxymoron right ish so you know here's a very good example of how you can understand what passive
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masculinity and assertive masculinity is right okay so let's take pop culture and let's use um
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i would say let's use matt damon okay so a passive you just always have like these
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these pop culture guys are examples that are just they just make me giggle i don't mean i'm not
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I'm just saying you just make me giggle with that.
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It helps, you know, to conceptualize what I'm trying to get at.
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Now, is it Matt Damon, the real Matt Damon, the actor Matt Damon, or the Matt Damon from
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So we're talking about alpha masculinity, right?
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whether it's fact or fiction, we still interpret what we see. So to not make it like too technical,
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let's just assume we're seeing this, right? And you're seeing a characteristic like Goodwill
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Hunting, Matt Damon. Okay. And there are many people that exhibit that kind of characteristic,
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right? So I would categorize them as passive alphas, right? They are in charge, but they tend
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to be a little bit more subdued about it. Wait, are you painting a picture here?
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right like you're painting a picture right and then on the other side don't give it away
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send bob ross over here let's do this on the other side when you look at an assertive alpha
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jason born yeah because there are a lot of people that are jason borns right they'll find a way
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they're resolute they're quick on their feet they're quick to think they macgyver their way
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through life yep but these are the ones that we have admiration and yearning for these are the
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ones where we're like, no, I don't want to be that, even though they both are very prominent
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alpha characters, right? I'll give you another one, right? You take Tom Cruise, right?
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No, just to show you how they both work, right? Let's use a different example. Well, okay, no,
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Tom, you got it laid out. Right. So you have a story like that guy, right? What I'm trying to
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get is passive and assertive, right? You have Jerry Maguire, and then you have- Show me the
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Who is Ethan Hunt? Is that the Mission Impossible?
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I like this example, even though I don't like Tom Cruise.
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That was a great example because Jerry Maguire was a man's man.
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But he probably couldn't use a screwdriver, right?
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He couldn't be hanging off the side of a mountain.
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But he, he, like, you know, are you complete me?
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He's an agent showing emotional connection, like realizing like, you know, it's it's
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So what category should we be living in as men in Canada?
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Like what we need to understand one, we have our own individual personalities.
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Okay. So when I'm working with clients, what I tell them is, are you center, right?
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In that alpha system, are you center right or center left?
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Yeah. Do you tend to be a little bit more, you know, anybody that plays, uh,
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It's just it's a natural tendency. That doesn't mean it's a character flaw. That's why the toxic
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word is an inappropriate word because it's not a character flaw. You're either center
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right or you're center left. You're more reflective. You're more environmentally
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observant. So you are more center left. Generals tend to be more center left. Why? Because they
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have to make sure that when they send soldiers into the field, they bring them home alive.
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That's center left Alpha. Versus I'm okay with how many casualties? The current defense secretary,
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right? Like that's the center right. It's the, it's the cost of the cause.
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So let's say somebody was living and anybody watching it, they're living on the extremes
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of either side of that right right what would you do to get them back centered so like what should
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they tell themselves and work on themselves or what message would you give to them if they seem
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like they're too far off on either side of that spectrum and you want to try and ground them
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right so just in the alpha stance right so it's and this is where a majority of people struggle
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with because they feel any shift is a loss of identity shift is not a loss of identity it's
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it's you look at the cost of not maintenance okay so andrew tate's a very good example of that right
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he has to continuously now maintain that image he he has to put a lot of energy to come across
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as being alpha strong well that's where it became a meme right so it got to the point where he had
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to fight but from an individual lens right from an individual lens you can know it's like you can
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only do so much until it doesn't become beneficial to you right so they know an individual knows when
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they're extreme and it's become their identity so that's where conversations with support you know
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works so um he had a um a podcast out right when he came out of uh romania with a therapist and
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you know it got like some nine million views or something it got a lot of steam yeah and i
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watched it right and and i sent it to you and i commented on it i go look that's his style
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right because he sees it as coming into a cage so he has to get the first hit in and then he
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has to keep punching because the more he punches the more control he has i feel like that was a
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kind of a our first episode of this right i came in you know swinging right but you know
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right you're an assertive style of a passive style but we're still kind of like doing the
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dance right so we're not competing from the same space yeah yeah so an individual needs to
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understand if we were you would win well no you would win you're tiny you'd get around
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easily maneuverable yeah right um so for an individual that kind of goes okay what does
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center right look like to me what does center left look like to me right if you're on the edges it
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just never benefit anybody it doesn't because you gotta have to then
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continually maintain a persona that is not relevant but if you can go hey look
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you know I know when I when I need to gear up and I know when I need to gear
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down right it allows you to be more functional you can still stay alpha so
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Tom Brady when he's off the field and he's going into the locker room and
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acting like the same way it's the fourth quarter you know at the 20-yard line
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with a game on the line he cannot take that same assertive aggressiveness that
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he has on the field home no well maybe he did and that's why he's in the
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scenario he's in well he wanted the ninth ring right or maybe she just got
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tired of those vegan juices whichever game first really likes jiu-jitsu is
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yeah well you know coming of age right what i'm trying to get at is so if he continues these days
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well there's the consequence of that same thing with andrew tate right yeah you can't because i
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hear some of his stuff and i'm like you can't maintain this so who are you going after you're
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going after the the ones that are looking for somebody that is aggressive because their chances
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are they're going through that puberty stage with not having resources and they have to learn to
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fend for themselves so they're going to look to the map the biggest alpha male whether it makes
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sense or not let's just hope they're not completely mirroring that mentality right because taking
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things from it that resonate with you to make you better at what you do daily I get that but to take
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somebody's word like an Andrew Tate who's so on the extreme yeah you can get into a lot of trouble
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he got himself into trouble right numerous times from trying to keep that persona up and live in
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that alpha male state he's gotten himself into it's numerous times because it's gotta you gotta
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feed it yeah you gotta feed the monster right so and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure
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that out that it's not working one of the best ways to kind of like frame that is um say you're
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hungry right and so do you eat one hamburger right it makes you feel good then you eat two hamburgers
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it makes you feel full but it's not as satisfying as the first burger was you eat your third burger
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now it's completely less satisfying the second one well now you have acid reflux
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those are secondary conflict consequences what i'm saying is the the pleasure you got out of
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the first burger versus your third burger is much less same thing here it's it's not a
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thing that you can't measure because then you start realizing that at some point maybe i need
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to back off maybe this is an ass backwards question i don't think there maybe there's not
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even an answer for this or maybe it's just so absurd that you don't even answer it or give it
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the time of day but when is narcissism actually useful is that never useful and you should just
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you should because i don't know i feel like there's there's three stages to this and i
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there's confidence being confident in yourself and having confidence which can slowly turn into
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arrogance right and that arrogance can get out of control and turn slowly turn into narcissism
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right whether that's rapid or fast those seems to be the three stages right right
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delusional confidence leads to arrogance delusional arrogance leads to narcissism
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right when is that final stage beneficial beneficial if at all is there any benefits
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to being a narcissist so and i don't mean narcissism like you only love yourself everybody
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like i don't mean the lucifer definition of narcissism i mean like actual narcissism
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where you still empathetic but it seems to be the arrogance is just out of control
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so it's a very good point um we take the characteristics take the word out okay okay
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so if you look at the characteristics right the elements of nobody else exists i exist okay
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where would that be the most relevant where you got a gun pointing at you because that
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characteristics then become i need to do what i need to do to survive okay where narcissism
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becomes an issue is when i'm causing harm whether i'm aware of it or not but i'm causing harm to
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other beings i can't see narcissism not causing harm to somebody like no no what i'm saying is
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it would have to right if we separate the characteristics and you ask when does narcissism
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have validity right i'm saying if you take the word out oh take okay if you take the word out
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and you're in a position of threat of life right whether it's yourself or anybody else
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those characteristics are now revered you put the word back in now it's now you're now because
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you're doing it too and it's going to cause harm to somebody that's when narcissism doesn't have
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a place so maybe like i said maybe that there is no real answer to that because that sounds like
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you're now if you're going to take that word out you're just falling back into confidence again
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right it's the word minute like toxic masculinity minute we attach word to a certain thing and
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because categorizing them and you're screwing yourself added to our brain and then we question
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ourselves this is why labels are and i i'm sorry if you're going to keep believing this you probably
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won't with the but um we'll say it again just for just the third time's a charm yeah um
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but why this is another example of why labels in every sense of the form
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are a problem and this is why i think guys like me maybe from your perspective we
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because i've heard a lot of psychotherapists and a lot of therapists uh say you know we know you
00:25:14.220
don't like me or we know we don't like what i do and i don't think that's what it is i think it's
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because it almost in my brain if i sit down with a psychotherapist counselor whoever psychologist
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it's just gonna label me i'm gonna fit inside of like 30 you know categories and they're gonna keep
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boom boom boom boom boom boom until they figure out what pill to give me right so these labels
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lead to problems and i've always thought that labels lead to problems and what you're saying
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about words is we're kind of labeling these things and they're getting a life of their own when if
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you didn't put a label on them yeah you just kept that mentality might not be dangerous it might not
00:25:46.540
be somebody else is getting hurt or understand the word that you use understand it properly
00:25:52.220
right that's why like you know we said irregulated are you just telling me i don't understand the
00:25:56.620
words that are coming out of my mouth no but i get it 20 minutes yeah yeah
00:26:04.060
well that's it no more three episodes but yeah i guess you're right like it is it's just trying to
00:26:09.660
make sense out of these things right so if the word like toxic narcissism things like that are
00:26:14.060
you're not used in the actual real way they should be used so like say say you know let's
00:26:19.420
role play for a second you've you've expressed everything that you've expressed to me about
00:26:23.180
about how you see the world okay and i come to return back and i go hey you know that's a toxic
00:26:29.260
masculinity right you're gonna take a stance to that because you're like we want to fight right
00:26:35.180
you and you're gonna get an offended and you watch your mouth bucky i'm not toxic you know
00:26:40.460
out. You don't understand my life. I had to go through this. You know what it was like.
00:26:44.220
Right. So what it's done is now we're going to get contentious. Right. But if I kind of listen
00:26:49.020
to you and I go, you know, it sounds that there's a regulated emotion control or, you know, you're
00:26:54.540
having difficulty knowing when to switch it off. Same story. Difficulty switching it off. You have
00:27:02.060
more relatability because you're like, that is where my issue is. I'd still say, let's go back.
00:27:05.740
What do you mean? I got a problem switching it off. Let me switch it on and show you what I'm all
00:27:10.460
Because that's where my profession misses the mark.
00:27:14.620
Right. And I'm not saying, you know, there are not credible
00:27:17.900
people out there that have been in this field for a very long
00:27:19.900
time and they know what they're doing. You need words to
00:27:22.620
reference, but there are internal words and then there are
00:27:26.060
words that we talk in the general public. You use internal
00:27:29.100
words in the general public like narcissism, right?
00:27:33.820
Yes, there's a clinical definition to it. Yes, it's a
00:27:36.700
psychological understanding of when the other individual has no care or regard for anyone in
00:27:42.140
their environment it's a social media meme word too right it's a buzzword you've seen i've seen it
00:27:47.420
for 10 years now on social media any woman that ever or a man that gets into a problem with their
00:27:51.980
significant other they're like i was dating a narcissist or an emotional avoidant or a catch
00:27:57.020
like you know and understand it uh understand what it's referencing and then say okay does that
00:28:03.980
person exhibit that because we all have it we all have you want narcissism go to a big company
00:28:12.620
okay and say this department is going to get 30 cut every person is going to turn narcissist why
00:28:17.980
because they got to look out for themselves because the narcissist looks out for themselves
00:28:21.020
at least the food on your plate self-preservation and depending on the path you took to get that job
00:28:27.820
your desire to save your job is that much experientially great what are you going to do
00:28:34.540
you're going to exhibit every characteristic a narcissist would do why because narcissism
00:28:38.800
is self-preservation but it's going to lead to that exactly that yeah what I'm saying is because
00:28:43.300
the circumstance is you're going to a department comes in 30 percent of you department's going to
00:28:48.880
go, and you're a department of, say, 10 people, right? All 10 are going to go for self-preservation
00:28:58.180
because they don't want to be in that 30%. That means each one of you are narcissists. That's my
00:29:02.820
point. Well, this is why you can't get unions inside of fighting or WWE or pro wrestling is
00:29:07.800
because everybody is an individual. The second you put their back against the wall and you start
00:29:10.800
threatening jobs. What I'm going to get at is that we all exhibit the characteristic when the
00:29:15.540
environment calls for it. So don't go labeling people. Because
00:29:20.760
you equally have those components until it's relevant to you.
00:29:28.380
Take a competitive parent that's going on the pitch and calling
00:29:31.240
the ref for not calling a play. Isn't that narcissism? Or
00:29:35.040
making sure that your kid gets an extra two minutes on the
00:29:39.860
But you're not defining it because you are saying, but no,
00:29:43.140
doing it for so no it's the same because we're looking at characteristics that's what i'm saying
00:29:46.900
words matter so what will we do if we find ourselves subconsciously making these decisions
00:29:51.300
and they seem to lead to the negative right like some of them will lead to the negative the mother
00:29:55.860
getting up there and screaming at the coach may get your kid not played next season or you know
00:30:01.460
what i mean the next game or next season right like these things can lead to issues what i'm saying is
00:30:05.860
but now we're getting lost in the details right yeah well i love that that's why i would wish
00:30:10.340
we could do three-hour podcasts right and it's a fair statement but what i'm saying is you know
00:30:15.460
it's more for the audience right because now you know they get kind of lost in the trailer end of
00:30:19.220
it the big picture is that words matter we misuse words all the time when it comes to the alpha lens
00:30:25.940
you know you have other you know and it it belongs to all genders because this is a characteristic
00:30:32.820
trait this is not an identity trait it's a primal trait it's a part the primal you we see it in
00:30:40.260
nature all the time we see it with moms you know if she if she feels that her kids or her family
00:30:45.620
are going to be threatened she's going to turn alpha in a nanosecond well there's been reports
00:30:49.300
for years of ladies lifting the car off of their child right so you hear about that if a mother's
00:30:53.220
kid is trapped into the car she'll pick that thing up whatever horizon yeah so those are
00:30:58.020
characteristics don't get caught on the words and understand that it's malleable and understand that
00:31:02.980
it's energy that you can manage and all you need to understand is is it assertive is it passive
00:31:09.620
when is it necessary when is it not necessary right tom hanks is another good one right saving
00:31:16.180
pirate ryan assertive right um i know you're going to say forrest gump i was going to say
00:31:24.420
horse passes right clint eastwood you want clint eastwood okay let's talk about big clint yeah yeah
00:31:32.660
a million dollar baby gran torino right see that you just you know i'm i've got it right
00:31:42.020
and that's what people need to understand it use use the information to reference yourself
00:31:47.700
don't corner yourself because the minute you corner yourself you only corner yourself because
00:31:52.980
it depends on how the world looks and how you can translate the world you know the more we
00:31:58.100
do these the more i realize too i'm gonna have to get you in for a conversation just about movies
00:32:02.820
and movie characters because you are a movie character reference machine sim i love because
00:32:08.820
when they're good examples right i use it in session because it allows people to then frame
00:32:13.380
their minds right because we personify idols and people in our environment and movies is one place
00:32:21.540
where we go and we kind of try to emulate that character and that's what gives actors and
00:32:26.740
actresses this sense of respect because they can take on a character that is not them
00:32:33.060
i'm presented in a way where you're like that is them and maybe i'm confused but i i think
00:32:39.300
through this past 45 minutes you've just been telling me i'm jason born right so i'm happy with
00:32:44.020
the ending there i love being jason born no i'm joking i'm gonna read this book the art of
00:32:48.580
manliness what do you i know you've read it what is the biggest takeaway that you took from this
00:32:52.820
book it's got probably the most middle pack um advice like it's got on how to tie a tie right
00:33:03.460
that's what people want to hear that's that old school jordan peterson mentality they eat simple
00:33:08.260
rules simple simple stuff keep yourself structured right man i wish you didn't fall off that guy right
00:33:13.700
and life happens right sorry it's just you're a mess yeah um the point is is that
00:33:22.900
we're more center right and center left and we've we kind of fluctuated between those two
00:33:29.220
it's finding your am i more center left tend to be what do i need to do to be a little bit more
00:33:35.860
center right and then you go and find those tools so it could be where uh cbt is a very good
00:33:43.140
way because in cbt you do cognitive reframing right so if you are say goodwill hunting
00:33:50.420
watch that movie go watch jason bourne right and go okay same character individual matt damon he
00:33:58.340
didn't change go hey um he had to learn this character because he's not that character and
00:34:03.940
he presented it in a certain way he had to learn this character what he so he went and went into
00:34:08.100
the world learn those tools right he had to learn how to fight he had to build endurance which
00:34:13.860
means he had to change his diet he had to change sleeping da da da focus on that because those
00:34:18.660
things you can control you can control your diet because he didn't become from good with hunting
00:34:24.740
to that just by doing you know nothing reading books or listening podcasts he dedicated himself
00:34:32.740
to become that character you know a very charming man out back of a bar one day uh his name was
00:34:40.020
russell and he was wearing a pair of daisy dukes and he told me that if you live in the life of
00:34:44.420
narcissism with empathy eventually it just leads to clinical depression and it sounded crazy at
00:34:49.940
the time but the older i get and the more i think about russell and his daisy dukes i think he may
00:34:54.580
have been on to something soon maybe yeah and more of this conversation makes me realize that i know
00:35:00.580
nothing about being a man so we're gonna have to book another one and maybe next time we talk about
00:35:05.300
omega yeah we could do that that would be a nice lead out of uh alpha male so hopefully if anybody's
00:35:10.700
watching you've learned something about not only being a man again and masculinity and it's not
00:35:14.960
toxic despite what people say it's irregularly it's irregularly and you've learned a little bit
00:35:20.300
about what it means to be alpha so next time we see you we'll be talking omega sim thank you so
00:35:25.480
much i can't thank you enough like i said i don't even know how you have the time to come in here
00:35:28.740
and talk to a fool like me when you have such a brilliant brain and you should be booked all the
00:35:33.360
time. I am. Things I do for a Klondike bar. Thanks guys. Thank you.