True Patriot Love

00:00:00.000 well it's an iphone it's a samsung it's a google phone it's a whatever it's smartphones and basically

00:00:12.100 they're an extension of our hands and our arms now well it wasn't that long ago when you went

00:00:16.860 to the holidays you didn't have a phone in your hand now everyone does and everyone wants to

00:00:21.780 check out everything going on aka doom scrolling talk more about it thrilled to be joined by our

00:00:26.840 friend sim from horizon within horizonwithin.ca and that is one thing that's become part of

00:00:32.560 these holiday get-togethers sim there's people all of a sudden you look around and everyone's on their

00:00:36.800 phone looking at different things absolutely i remember like you know before the ad the smartphone

00:00:44.540 yeah um christmas eve get-togethers were kids were out on the out yep either you were having a snowball

00:00:53.880 fight yes with your neighbors or you were playing ice uh road hockey or right you're doing something

00:00:59.160 or the other you weren't inside and then everybody kind of like had your roles and you came back in

00:01:04.540 right before supper ate supper either home alone was coming on or diehard was coming on depending on

00:01:11.020 which tv channel you were like some board games some board games and there was no um

00:01:17.300 people running away from each other yes right and one disadvantage of having this technology come

00:01:26.780 into whether it was the ipads because i think the ipads came much a little bit sooner yeah yeah yeah

00:01:31.880 right because smartphones did come but there was not that much of data so the app it wasn't

00:01:35.820 app friendly um but you know before you kind of understand like why people doing scroll there's got

00:01:43.560 to be an understanding of what happens to our mind and why we go to the phone because holidays are

00:01:50.540 overwhelming and you're gonna like how you know we talked about in one of our previous podcasts about

00:01:55.340 this over realm of hosting or the over realm of um visiting the the brain can only take so much stress

00:02:05.860 and what passive schooling gives you is it gives you a way to disassociate without it asking anything

00:02:15.340 back and it's giving you small bursts of dopamine right like without any consequence to it and now

00:02:23.340 all of a sudden becomes this mindless experience where you don't have to think and then time's passing

00:02:29.320 by but it's just you're you're just burnt out you're right okay so that's your cause and effect

00:02:36.340 what happens is that now this is becoming a more of a resource tool to replenish than it was before

00:02:43.500 so what i try to do especially on christmas day is the only time i respond to my phone is if i'm

00:02:49.440 getting a dm or a text from someone like wishing me a greeting and i respond oh hey thanks happy

00:02:55.120 holidays merry christmas so if it's a family number or a close friend other than that i don't i really

00:03:01.700 really try not to look at the phone whatsoever on christmas day and that's to be honest with you

00:03:06.960 it's getting harder and harder you're like oh yeah what's happening there let's check the weather

00:03:09.820 remember you don't think you get sucked in yeah i like how you you position not because a lot of us

00:03:17.880 depending on where we fit in the generational bracket or really determines what it's giving us

00:03:26.760 back so when we look at it from like an observer's lens and you're like well everybody's doing scrolling

00:03:31.100 or everybody's doing mindless scrolling but it's actually an if you look at it through each generational

00:03:36.260 lens there's actually a nuance that's unique to them so imagine that you know you know you have a

00:03:44.040 griswold family dinner right and now everybody's in the living room and you have gramps at 82 and

00:03:50.800 then you have the young griswold at like i think seven yeah so in modern time if you bring them to

00:03:55.780 2025 you've got everybody right you've got the boomers you've got the xers you've got the millennials 0.85

00:04:00.080 you've got the z's and then you got the alphas right and so you know if we go chronologically and

00:04:06.260 go all the way to the oldest and go to baby boomers well for them it's passive scrolling 1.00

00:04:11.000 right they're the facebook people like you know working at the feeds right the it's not requiring

00:04:19.060 animated stimuli right because it's not changing the reels don't change

00:04:23.160 and they're not into reels they're more into like oh look you know somebody posted merry christmas and

00:04:29.040 then they're like my car made a goose yeah comment comment comment right like so so for them it's more

00:04:35.340 of just passive restaurant okay interesting right and but everybody's replenishing right like

00:04:40.880 everybody's just tuned out and they're trying to get energy come to the gen generation exodus this

00:04:47.860 generation is the one that's carrying the weight because they're hosting they're carrying they're

00:04:53.740 running the stuff and all of that for them it's a way to just i need a minute to because i just need a

00:05:03.720 minute because everybody may have shifted to the living room and they're all settling in the xers 0.79

00:05:08.320 either putting stuff away or they're like prepping the dessert or they're putting the but there's still

00:05:13.760 a command that they have to run or remember or like do so for them not a facade and this becomes

00:05:20.720 two minutes of reprieve right because there's no escape right and they need to reset because it's

00:05:26.740 the switch is still on now you come to the generation y right for them it's on a like okay 1.00

00:05:35.660 uh what is going on just a lot of inputs so for them it gives them a sense of control it gives them

00:05:42.020 a place where they don't have to engage they can politely dissociate right and the it becomes a shield

00:05:50.440 it becomes a shield right because now all of a sudden we're looking at a physical interruption

00:05:57.200 right if somebody's got their headphones on you're not going to interrupt them right now you go one

00:06:04.120 generation over to gen z so gen z it's like so how's school or so you know gotta go from here right like

00:06:13.480 the typical like dating anyone like because they are in not that 20s bracket right and or you know

00:06:19.500 so if you decided where you're going to major right like so for them it becomes the sense of

00:06:23.700 like okay how do i not right because remember we've all had dinner you've already experienced

00:06:31.060 overall so where are you going for recovery you're going to your phone but each generation now

00:06:40.180 is going for very different reasons but from an observer's lens look at that what happened to the

00:06:46.880 love of family christmas and like sitting by the cracking fire and turning on the radio boomers

00:06:51.440 yeah right right yeah xers all right um you know because you probably got either a hockey stick 0.86

00:06:57.140 yeah skates yeah mittens something that you can put on and go outside and and you've been kicked out

00:07:05.300 yeah right because the street lights are on you're outside or somebody on the street has made a rink

00:07:11.660 in their backyard and every all the kids are there well the first big generations didn't have to worry

00:07:18.360 about it right the gen rise they were like the guys in the middle because they still had the nostalgia

00:07:23.920 because technology hadn't taken over it was just getting introduced and they were at the tail end of

00:07:28.160 it they were at the start of it oh but the tail end of the nostalgia morphing into the technology

00:07:33.340 right the xers were more on the tail end of it because even though the internet came on it was

00:07:39.040 still dial up right right yeah or yeah the the web pages were very like my spacey kind of thing yeah

00:07:45.000 it's the xers where it became much greater in demand so now that need to go on the content change

00:07:52.920 the style of delivery change so most of y still had that right because

00:07:58.040 even though it was on cable my home alone aired on the air on ctv or on global right so it was still

00:08:07.320 there right the alphas for them it's it's it's that's what they've grown up on right they are the

00:08:16.040 ipad generation the ipad they are the genuine ipad generation so for them that's all they know right

00:08:21.580 so for them it's it's a digital pacifier right because and it's not a fault of theirs right it's

00:08:27.320 not like oh you know no it's you can only take in what you have in your environment and if that is 0.99

00:08:35.220 your digital pacifier for us it was the idiot box on a saturday morning on you same thing this is just 0.93

00:08:43.260 more intimate it's more imaging and the span is a lot shorter because our cartoons many tunes ran for 0.99

00:08:49.840 three to five minutes right these run for 15 to 30 seconds always see the need to feed is more

00:08:57.340 so one of the simplest ways to understand dune scroll and energy replenishment replenishment and

00:09:07.420 rather than worrying about it and and critiquing yourself or burdening yourself the way i suggest

00:09:13.660 for you to look at it and cdt is wonderful because cognitive behavioral therapy what it is about is

00:09:20.140 it looks at how you process information cognitively right and it's about reframing and reframing is

00:09:26.860 basically looking at it in a different way there's no science to it it's just genuinely looking at a

00:09:32.120 different way so a new or a different way to look at this is how you would have your macros for

00:09:38.700 nutrients right your carbs your free proteins and your fats look at your way of how you get energy in

00:09:47.580 so verbs are your like cards right they're quick they're easy but they burn you out faster right

00:09:56.380 so social media is a card okay i now a full disclosure or even this daughter has a mini dachshund and now 0.95

00:10:06.020 we've been sharing these stupid ai videos of the oxen's driving trucks and playing sports and cooking 0.94

00:10:13.180 stuff and i find them hilarious is that a carb it is because just like in carbs you have simple carbs 0.96

00:10:19.440 and you have complex carbs this is really simple right so it's very easy not to understand because

00:10:24.500 you're not measuring um content you're measuring the energy it gives your dopamine rush right because

00:10:32.560 it doesn't make me laugh and smile but it's short-lived yeah right so you eat a bag of chips

00:10:37.000 yeah you're gonna get a spike or you eat a candy bar like you know your what do they call it the

00:10:40.560 afternoon crash yes right yeah yeah or the two o'clock crash that's officially called yeah and then

00:10:46.920 there's a whole thing like oh you can grab a protein bar or you can grab a kitkat bar right yeah and the

00:10:51.800 argument now is simple carb kitkat bar you get the energy but in 45 minutes later you're like oh right

00:10:57.720 versus a protein bar right it's still in or sorry a fruit nut bar yeah right yeah whatever granola

00:11:05.080 whatever the point is this is that complex bars will give you a spike it'll last a little bit longer

00:11:10.360 but it's not going to sustain you and you're going to drop right and just like how when you're eating a

00:11:15.400 meal you're going to balance it out you know you're not going to be a carb heavy plate because you know if

00:11:19.880 you're you may love carbs often videos are it well guess what if your plate is only full of mashed

00:11:25.960 potatoes and very little protein who's not going to have energy same thing right if you if you have

00:11:32.200 a lot of simple carbs where your dopamine boosts are always going to be narrow that's where doom scrolling

00:11:39.800 is feeding itself right because you're only feeding on simple carbs you're not passing judgment the the

00:11:45.320 whole objective when you're doing cognitive reframing is you're not taking your action you're

00:11:50.760 observing your action and by looking at it from such a filter what it's giving you it's giving you a way

00:11:58.120 to then look at it and go okay i understand that okay now moving to proteins well what are proteins

00:12:03.960 proteins are something that will sustain you a bit longer right i equate proteins to something that requires

00:12:12.280 some kind of movement it could be a hobby of do you like to color it could be i like word searches it

00:12:20.360 could be a like knitting it could be anything you like it could be i'm going for a look right it could

00:12:26.680 be i'm going to go do the dishes right it's an activity as long as you enjoy it and it's not a chore

00:12:32.200 it serves that a protein fats right these are more where you need longer time to not only um digest

00:12:42.280 but the effects of it take longer right like if you need half an avocado it'll give you sustained

00:12:48.200 energy but you can give it to you 30 minutes later right as opposed to that kit kit bar which gave it

00:12:53.480 you energy but it is good for you the avocado absolutely but what i'm saying is because you're

00:12:59.000 looking to replenish your energy right right because remember we're sitting in a post griswold christmas

00:13:05.480 dinner uh watch national lampoons christmas vacation okay right it's not all christmas movie

00:13:12.840 um so you've already depleted yourself and remember from your generational lens each one has it so like

00:13:19.160 for a generation xer right they may need a dachshund video you know why because they've got to put the

00:13:26.600 coffee out and the pies really up yeah and they're burnt out okay fine all right i got my energy boom

00:13:33.800 now everybody's done dessert we're all chilling now you have a choice do i go for a complex carb

00:13:39.480 because i still need to clear up the plates and go in there and i add a little bit of protein so maybe

00:13:44.520 i'll do an activity you know what guys i'm gonna go for a 10 minute walk because we have a dog so that's

00:13:50.680 my excuse to take the dog for a while so there's your protein right there oh oh okay there's your protein

00:13:55.480 right there right because you did an activity okay right it's not what i'm saying is it you're you're

00:14:01.800 looking at it through how you would eat a meal so if you know you still need energy now you're

00:14:07.160 replenishing accordingly right so so you could be like okay you know what i don't want to i don't

00:14:12.600 want to do some video i want something a little bit more okay you know what watch a uh true paternal

00:14:18.200 podcast that's a complex carb why because it's engaging the mind it's not you can listen

00:14:25.480 right and more preferably my podcast well yes then that is the perfect complex

00:14:34.200 and i for me i know like especially after the big heavy holiday meal taking the dog around the block

00:14:39.880 the fresh air too just being outside i find that very very invigorating but when you come back you

00:14:45.240 have energy oh yeah very much that's protein yeah it's like eating it's eating meat right because if

00:14:49.960 you eat meat you don't get you don't crash fast because right you're it's it's just like that it's

00:14:54.600 what i'm saying is you're matching it to that and by making sure that it's an activity the keyword is

00:15:01.720 activity and it's based on your abilities right if doing the word search is an activity for you

00:15:10.520 it's an activity because you're engaging your mind not through the digital lens if reading a book

00:15:18.520 that's an activity listening to something on the radio listening to music that you enjoy

00:15:24.920 they are all activities because you're engaging your mind to get energy from a different source

00:15:30.200 so would this be considered a protein something my partner started a few years ago always um we take

00:15:36.120 a a little bit time over the holidays and we do we call it crafty corner we do like a group family

00:15:41.640 craft of something just so we're not on the phone and not doing anything with electronics so would that

00:15:46.760 be a protein because we're doing a craft you're actually doing two things simultaneously you're doing

00:15:50.840 the protein fat combination oh because you've created a communal activity so that's the self-care

00:15:57.320 part because now you're creating this family experience right okay that's a kind of like a

00:16:01.400 fact because right and at the same time because it's an activity that's your protein another good

00:16:08.280 one is um playing an i spy movie yes game yes and say you're watching um die hard right of course

00:16:17.560 coincidental is it a christmas you know which means it has to be played every christmas

00:16:21.720 right to me it does so you can have this um sheet with 10 items that you got to find on it oh great

00:16:30.040 and now you've made it an activity and you're actively watching you're watching but you're

00:16:35.080 collectively watching okay you've changed the thing versus doom scrolling soul and grandpa doom

00:16:42.280 scrolling scroll and grandma doom smart because generationally remember we're going to replenish but

00:16:47.640 for different reasons and it has different value just like that simple carb metabolizes differently

00:16:55.320 for a six-year-old versus a 35 year old versus a 45 year old versus an 80 year old versus an athlete

00:17:03.240 now we can get into the variations right that's where it becomes a personal conversation the idea of

00:17:08.840 this is that it prevents you from becoming a soft critic and putting yourself in a situation is i need better

00:17:16.440 resources well this is a way for you to have better resources because then you can take a step back

00:17:20.760 and go okay i need energy these things give me energy i've put it on my website as well there's an

00:17:26.360 article and it breaks it down a bit okay uh same thing with i have an activity guide that you can

00:17:31.400 download and on it there's about nine movies you can pick from for the i spy movie i've got it's a

00:17:36.440 great concept there's ghostbusters on there there's toy story oh right elf shrek uh die family movies

00:17:43.640 love actually oh love actually is a great movie it's a classic movie yeah you know jerry mcguire's

00:17:49.240 on the okay so because the idea is then you know if you want to have somebody an activity they want

00:17:55.720 to bring everybody together you want to involve somebody because that's the whole point of coming

00:17:58.840 away from this but you're giving them something to build on right something to congregate around you

00:18:06.520 could have somebody that doesn't want to there's i have three to five different word searches games like

00:18:11.720 from easy all the way to difficult i have five sheets of drawing um color paper or coloring um

00:18:18.520 images right there's a little bit something for everybody and then there's a section on hot takes

00:18:24.200 where if you just if you're like one of those families that loves debates right um a good one

00:18:30.360 that's on there is um who would you rather have as a boss the grinch or the scrooge oh who's a better 0.95

00:18:38.040 sidekick plus light year or the donkey the donkey right right right that goes without saying right

00:18:45.080 i mean what's it far and beyond like i don't what is this up and away or whatever to infinity and beyond

00:18:53.400 so i wanted to tie into a previous podcast we did sam because not everyone is going to understand that

00:18:59.240 it's okay to take a few minutes to be on your phone someone's going to get through

00:19:04.840 is this where they go back to it is what it is and not get stressed that some people are on their

00:19:10.520 phone after the dinner can you walk me through this a bit like someone's doing something after the

00:19:16.440 dinner they're not on their phone and they're getting a little rest that everyone's on their phone

00:19:21.160 after the meal so instead of letting the stress get to them just it is what it is twofold to their

00:19:28.600 answer first i feel that it is you not you you but you you yeah right that is the the one that is

00:19:39.880 kind of orchestrating and you're wanting to create this family experience so having that frustration

00:19:46.280 yes use the santa technique and what it is is you know for the listeners here it's santa stands for s

00:19:53.880 you see the environment right so in this scenario you're like okay we just had a good dinner everybody's

00:19:59.560 kind of hanging out why are you on the phone okay you want to ask what is it i'm feeling so you know

00:20:05.720 feelings of it'd be like annoyance or frustration name them i mean sorry um explore them right and then

00:20:13.400 name your reaction to those feelings so with this one you'd be like getting angry yeah or you know

00:20:21.240 frustrated i'm gonna lose it right yeah so now you've named your reaction because you need to name

00:20:27.480 the reaction not the feeling because by asking what you're feeling you've technically named it okay

00:20:32.840 now that you've named your reaction now you can take a breath and go okay it is what it is

00:20:38.280 now that that doesn't mean you're going to let it be because you're starting to resolve it now you take

00:20:45.080 an act which is the last part of santa with connection so now you're saying when the going

00:20:49.720 gets tough the tough get going okay what does that mean what that means is that having everyone together

00:20:55.720 is important that's the tough part great growing means how do i find a resolution that needs both so

00:21:03.080 while you're seeing you're also seeing the age bracket of that so if it's somebody that's a boomer

00:21:09.400 right then make sure that you're not watching diehard because there's no connection right well for them

00:21:16.200 they're like i'm not watching in an hour it doesn't connect to me well guess what you go okay i don't

00:21:22.440 want you on the phone i want you more protein right but you can't go for a walk you can't right you know what

00:21:29.560 what about a word search so you find because there's five different ones and you go hey would

00:21:36.440 you mind like and they're all christmas works right or here's a couple of crayons and the

00:21:43.480 the art you can give it to a five-year-old or you can be 80 years old it's christmas art you know it's

00:21:51.160 tree ornament there's no age to christmas art so you find them there right or you then could be like you

00:21:57.960 know what i don't also need to watch the movie i'll spend time here so there's a solution to

00:22:01.800 everything if it's generation y or generation z there's a better negotiation right right right

00:22:10.440 i think that's a fair ask because now you're not imposing your beliefs or your views because that's

00:22:16.120 not what it's about and you're saying hey look you know explain to them carb protein fats they'll

00:22:22.600 understand it because everybody understands it's very simple right you're not becoming technical and

00:22:27.080 you're saying hey look i understand that you're looking to replenish your energy right why don't

00:22:33.000 you try this for 45 minutes why don't you try this for the first 10 minutes of the movie why don't you

00:22:36.760 try this right and if you're not enjoying it we'll have a conversation if you still still feel you need

00:22:43.960 some private time now we can put a time limit on it but what you've done is you've not created friction

00:22:51.000 bingo that's what i was thinking because by doing that by the negotiation empowering the younger person

00:22:57.080 you're respecting them i would think they would appreciate that but you also understand where

00:23:01.560 they're coming from right because now if it's a gen z they're coming from a sense of control

00:23:07.800 right well you could be like okay uh oh they don't want to be bombarded with 80 questions that's why

00:23:13.800 they're avoiding you're matching it because now you're you're able to instead of interrogating them

00:23:19.000 you're you're able to have awareness and go okay that's what it is because you might be the relative

00:23:25.480 they haven't seen them all year so now you're filled with questions how about this how about

00:23:29.720 that and i like easy whoa stop and it still happened to us yeah right so not like we didn't experience it

00:23:36.600 no absolutely there's no uh warming i i think it's just it it is what it is it is what it is on all sides

00:23:46.680 i'm not saying you know we have to tolerate it it is what it is doesn't mean that you have to tolerate

00:23:52.520 discomfort it is what it is is saying look this is my reality what can i do to work with it to get

00:24:03.400 what i need now i'm not doing scrolling i'm making sure you understand about the christmas activity pack

00:24:09.080 on his website horizonwithin.ca so you are ready for the holidays yeah absolutely and it's a uh it's

00:24:16.520 an easy download you just go on in and and it'll just take you right to the page and you can take

00:24:20.600 whichever activity you like and and that's the beauty thing about it is maybe it's just one or

00:24:24.920 two things you utilize but that could be the difference between having a frustrating holiday

00:24:29.720 experience and a more enjoyable holiday experience and that's what it's about an enjoyable holiday

00:24:34.920 experience hey sim i'm jim thanks for watching thank you

Why Holidays Make Everyone Doomscroll

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