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Valuetainment
- March 23, 2021
15 Qualities To Have In Your Inner Circle
Episode Stats
Length
17 minutes
Words per Minute
233.28459
Word Count
3,988
Sentence Count
310
Summary
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Transcript
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).
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There are two ways to accelerate your success in ways that you couldn't do if you were running
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by yourself.
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One of the ways is to be part of the right inner circle with the right influence and
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contact.
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The other one is to build your own strong inner circle.
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Today we're going to talk about 15 qualities of people that end up in inner circles.
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So a couple items.
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Number one, I'm going to make another video recommendation by the end of the video that
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has to do with this.
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And the second thing is you're going to get a PDF on today's notes to look it up, train
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on it, do whatever you want to do with it.
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So let's get right into it.
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Number one, number one quality of being in an inner circle is confidentiality.
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If I speak with you and I share insight, I give different things that I'm working with,
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whether we're having a conflict, a challenge, an opportunity that's coming up, I don't want
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that to leave anybody.
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And once it leaves, it's hard to gain that trust.
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Everything about an inner circle is built on the foundation of trust.
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So if you look at anything we cover, trust, everyone has a trust score.
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You may not know it right now, but your friends, your family, your girlfriend, your husband,
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your wife, your boyfriend, everybody has a score of trust with you.
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Trust with money, trust with relationships, trust with secrets, trust with habits, trust
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of delivering when you say you're going to be doing something.
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All of that comes together and confidentiality plays a very, very high role in you being part
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of an inner circle.
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Number two, zero tolerance for games, meaning if somebody plays games or they're manipulating,
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every time they do that, they lose points.
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Ten points here, eight points here, six points here.
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Games is almost like one of those things.
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You know how on your credit, if you make a payment late and then you recover from it,
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your score goes down a few points, but not a lot, right?
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If you have a repo in your car, you take a hit on your credit.
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If you end up filing a bankruptcy, it's the highest one, right?
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Playing too many games and manipulating is one of the biggest effects on your credit score
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as far as coming down to in an inner circle having to do with trust.
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So any time I see somebody that's playing too many games, the foundation of the inner
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circle is gone because we need to have trust there.
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Number three, accessible, easy to get a hold of.
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If I call you, you either pick up or you text me saying I'm about to finish up a Zoom,
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I'm about to finish up a meeting, I'm about to finish up something, can I text you in
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five minutes, no problem, vice versa.
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If you're part of my inner circle, you call me if I don't pick up, I'll generally do one
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of these things.
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I'll pick up and I'll say, I'm in a meeting right now with the board, I'll call you back
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in two hours.
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Is that fine?
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Yes, it is.
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If it's an emergency, I'll step away.
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It's not.
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Okay, great.
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And the reason some people may say, Pat, what are you talking about?
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You want something like that?
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Yes, because my inner circle is not 50 people, it's not 100 people.
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You don't do that with 50 or 100 people.
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It's a small group of people that you do that with, and when you do have that inner circle,
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that kind of time and attention needs to be given to that community.
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So for me, accessibility is very important.
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Number four, opportunity magnet.
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It's very easy.
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When I say opportunity magnet, let's look at the opposite of opportunity magnet.
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It's a crap magnet.
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What's a crap magnet?
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Somebody that always has problems.
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Somebody that always has drama.
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Somebody that's always the victim.
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You won't believe what happened to me.
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You won't believe what happened when the way I was raised, oh my gosh, I was sick.
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Oh my gosh, I went through this.
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Oh my gosh, I had COVID.
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There's always something that happened.
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There's always some kind of drama that's in their lives, and I don't know what it is.
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But they like that drama.
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It's almost a way of saying, I'm not winning because you don't understand all the drama
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that I have in my life.
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I'm such a, man, if I had my life like yours without having drama, I'd be able to win like
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you.
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But my life is so dramatic.
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What they don't realize is opportunity magnet folks also have the same amount of drama,
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also have the same amount of challenges, but they don't give attention to it.
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So they don't make it bigger because they're not giving a lot of attention to it.
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So what is an opportunity magnet in our circle?
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Here's how it works.
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Hey pal, let me tell you, I just met this one guy here that I think we need to bring him
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to have a meeting with him because he may introduce us to somebody that may be able to help us
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get us XYZ thing to be investing money.
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Okay, girl, let's talk to him.
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Hey, you know, I just read this one thing here that introduced me to this one guy who wants
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us to invest a million dollars into this, but if we put the million dollars into this,
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we're getting 20% in the way that we have the controls.
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With this opportunity, we're not going to be losing money on this.
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If they do what they've done the last 10 years, we're pretty much going to be making $3 million
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in the next two years.
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There's always opportunities of meeting new people, opportunities of doing new investments,
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doing new deals.
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Constantly opportunities.
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Number five, someone who gives insight.
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I like people in my inner circle that are giving me insight.
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Meaning we'll have a sit down.
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We're having dinner.
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We're having a meeting.
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They'll say, hey, you know what I just found out was telling me?
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Share this article with you.
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This research that was done.
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Take a look at this paper that was done recently in the industry.
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These are the stats.
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Oh, wow, I never thought about that before.
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Huh, interesting.
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And imagine if we did this.
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Oh, that's pretty, you know, that's something to look at.
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Hey, did you look at the stats that came out with real estate?
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The real estate markets that are up, the three states that are down.
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Did you look at the three states?
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Interesting which states are down.
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What do you take away from that?
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Well, I went and looked it up a little bit deeper, and the guy that wrote the article has been
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in real estate.
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It's insight.
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We're constantly doing what?
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Teaching each other.
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I'm constantly wanting to learn, and anybody that's in my inner circle, I want you to constantly
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bring value to the table so we're all learning together.
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So it's big on insight.
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Next, pay attention to details.
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And what I mean by details is special touch.
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If you know one person in your inner circle likes certain things with the kids, then respect
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it.
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If you know that one person in the group likes certain behavior of food and the way they order
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the food or where they sit and the treatment, pay attention to those types of details.
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The right inner circle will respect each other's areas where details matter.
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I know this kind of sounds weird to you.
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There are certain things for me that I'm very meticulous about and very detailed about.
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I want the group to respect that, and vice versa to anybody that's part of the group as well.
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Number seven, strong Rolodex with trust and credibility.
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What do I mean by this?
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If I say, hey, can we get somebody that's going to help us out when it comes down to this
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area of financing?
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We're trying to raise $100 million with this one guy, but the guy on the board needs a
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phone call.
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Hey, do you know anybody on that board?
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I actually do know somebody on that board.
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My best friend's brother sits on that board.
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Let me make that phone call.
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Who makes the phone call?
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The brother calls me.
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Hey, what's the challenge?
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Hey guys, we're going through, no, we're going through, no problem, it's a misunderstanding,
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we'll score it away.
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It's done.
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So that inner circle that's got a strong Rolodex with trust and credibility, they come through
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because now we're sharing each other's contact with each other.
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That's probably one of the biggest benefits of being in the right inner circle.
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Number eight, respect in your approach, meaning if you're about to give feedback to the leader
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of the inner circle, you know how to do it.
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If you're about to give feedback to somebody that's on the team, you know how to approach it.
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It's not very, you know, the way you do where you're going to be making it uncomfortable.
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There's got to be a mutual respect as people are communicating with each other.
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So the right inner circle is built on the right foundation.
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Respect for them, respect for the family, respect for the kids, respect for the spouse,
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respect for every single thing that you do together.
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There's got to be a lot of respect there.
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Number nine, what's said about you behind your back?
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I'll sit with someone.
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And this one guy calls me and he's like, well, let me tell you this, this, this, that, and
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you know, you don't even understand what was said.
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And I, you know, I always defend you.
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Then I get a call from three people that were at that meeting.
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He says, Pat, the entire time he was making fun of, you know, what you used to do when
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you were 17 years old or 18 years old or 20 years old when you went to the Army and
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you got out of the Army and how many times you got into this and into that.
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He was saying that.
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I said, oh, wait a minute.
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I said this, these other three, huh, interesting.
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So I called them on it.
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I said, hey, you know, I know you said that the other day, but I got the call that there
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was a few other people there that said you said this, oh, I was just joking, though.
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I'm just trying to joke.
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I was just joking.
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Got it.
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Okay, I don't take jokes like that.
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That's what you say behind someone's back.
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You just crossed the line.
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That means your score on trust just went down because I don't like those kinds of jokes.
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Those kinds of jokes are jokes that I don't appreciate, but it's okay.
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You can do it.
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It's America.
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Freedom of speech.
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You can say whatever you want to say.
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But I get to choose the inner circle.
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And you want to be part of the inner circle, it's just something that you cross the line.
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So it's okay.
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All good and more power to you, but we're moving on.
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You have to have the level of respect for each other.
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There's got to be a level of, well, my buddy and I were in the Army together, and we had
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our group.
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I'm 18 years old, 19 years old, it was five of us.
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Here's one thing.
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We fought all the time.
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We fought all the time.
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But if somebody from the outside tried to pin us against each other, we fought you.
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It was problematic.
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So everybody wanted to be in this group.
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Everybody wanted to be in this group because there was a protection going on with the people
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who had each other's back.
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Number 10, not cheap when we go out.
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They don't expect you to pay every time.
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You know, one thing Barkley once said on an Oprah Winfrey show when him and Jordan were there,
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he says, look, a lot of Michael's friends, when they go out, they expect him to pay because
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he's got money.
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He says, I don't expect Michael to pay anything.
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Why?
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I don't want Michael to think I'm going out with him because he has money.
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It's so funny that at that level, Barkley understands the psychology behind, hey, let me offer the
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pay.
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Let me offer the pay.
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I got you.
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Let me offer the pay.
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Because he doesn't want Michael to say, every time I go out, Barkley expects me to pay just
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because I make more money than Barkley.
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Even though Barkley's worth 40, Michael's worth 600.
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Barkley's got his own money.
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He should be able to pay the bill.
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Those small little markers.
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Sometimes we have certain things that we do in our travel.
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You learn a lot about people when you travel, you're like, that guy, God knows how much
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I've done for this guy.
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But man, he is cheap when it comes down to every single thing that we do with this guy.
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Make the offer.
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Do something.
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Nope.
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That level of cheapness, you may save $400, long term you may end up losing $100 million
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because the way that one small behavior stays with somebody that says, if I ever do business
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with him, the way he treated me at dinner is probably how he's going to be when we
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do business together, I'm good to go.
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We can have a good conversation together.
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We can travel, but it kind of stops right there.
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It doesn't go into the business mode when we decide to do business together.
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11.
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Dependability.
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You can bank on their award.
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When they say they're going to do something, they're going to do it.
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If you've got the right inner circle together, one of the guys says, by Friday I'm going to
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get XYZ done.
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Great.
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I know he's going to get it done.
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By Thursday, that thing's going to get done with the deadline.
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Phenomenal.
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I'm going to make the phone call right now.
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Great.
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Tom and I had a call together on Monday, and Monday to me was like a whole week of work.
00:10:09.540
We started at 7 a.m., ended up at midnight.
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That day was seven days of work, compressed in one day.
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He was given tasks to do, I was given tasks to do.
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By the time the day was done with, every single task that we were expecting to do in one week
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was all done in one day.
00:10:25.580
Because there's a level of dependability.
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I got you, you got me.
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You got this, you got this.
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We go back and forth.
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The score goes higher.
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Number 12, exchange of value.
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Nobody stays in an inner circle for too long that doesn't bring value to that circle.
00:10:39.800
Let me explain.
00:10:40.880
So imagine even sports.
00:10:42.880
If we play sports together on a championship team, and you're on the team, and you're starting
00:10:47.900
lineup, and you're not playing defense, you're not hustling, you're not doing any of that
00:10:51.400
stuff.
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You may be the favorite teammate everybody loves to go to dinner with.
00:10:55.500
You may be the favorite teammate to play video games with.
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But we're not going to win a championship with you, because you don't do the screens.
00:11:02.320
You don't hustle for the rebounds.
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You don't train afterwards.
00:11:05.020
You eat too much food.
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You put on too much weight.
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You don't take the value of us winning as much as the rest of us do, so you are not necessarily
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bringing the kind of value to the team that the rest of us are bringing.
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The rest of us are trying to take care of ourselves, and you're not.
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So exchange of value has to be there.
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By the way, value isn't money.
00:11:23.520
Value isn't knowledge.
00:11:24.840
Value is many different currencies that you can do.
00:11:28.100
It's protection.
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It's value.
00:11:30.100
It's service.
00:11:31.100
There's many different ways.
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But there's value being brought to the group.
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Number 13, fun and humble.
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What do I mean by fun and humble?
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Look, when you have the right circle, and you're humming, and you're growing, there's nothing
00:11:41.740
like winning and making money with a group that you're having fun with.
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I cannot even tell you.
00:11:47.220
We can be in a group where five people all get along.
00:11:50.620
You put one person in there that's manipulative, plays too many games, the entire dynamic of
00:11:56.800
the five people changes.
00:11:58.440
This is why sometimes you hear in sports they'll say he's not a good locker room guy.
00:12:02.660
He may be very talented, but a terrible locker room guy because he pins everybody against
00:12:06.840
each other.
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You're almost okay to leave that person out just to keep the level of relationship and
00:12:13.940
camaraderie at a high score.
00:12:15.960
Because whenever you're having fun and you're humble, there's zero tolerance for arrogance.
00:12:20.780
Personality is attractive.
00:12:22.100
Everybody wants to keep winning together and working together.
00:12:23.960
They want to kind of collaborate.
00:12:24.960
Look, I'll work on it.
00:12:25.960
I'll improve.
00:12:26.960
I'm willing to accommodate because we're getting along.
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Number four, presentable in appearance.
00:12:33.720
And what I mean by that is, if we're going to a place where the expectation is to wear
00:12:37.640
a nice three-piece suit and you look money, you've got to become presentable.
00:12:40.940
You can't be sloppy.
00:12:42.140
If we're going to a place where you're going to meet certain people, you've got to look
00:12:46.640
right.
00:12:47.640
You can't just come out looking sloppy.
00:12:48.640
You can't be doing that.
00:12:49.640
Now, if we're going out there and just having a good time, do what you've got to do.
00:12:52.960
But be presentable in the way you carry yourself, and the way your language is, and the way
00:12:57.180
you talk.
00:12:58.340
A lot of that stuff is part of your presentation when others end up meeting you.
00:13:02.020
And last but not least, is the extra factor.
00:13:05.060
It's the extra factor.
00:13:06.060
What do I mean by extra factor?
00:13:07.480
You know, I deal with this one guy whose name is Danny.
00:13:10.980
Mario and I always talk about him.
00:13:12.480
I just called him the other day to get a couple things from him.
00:13:14.580
He helped me out.
00:13:15.800
Every time I go to LA, you know, he always would put a Bentley for me, or he would give
00:13:20.880
me a Rolls Royce.
00:13:21.880
What cars has he given us?
00:13:22.880
He's given us a lot of different things.
00:13:24.480
Amazing cars.
00:13:25.480
I can't even tell you.
00:13:26.480
Like 20 cars.
00:13:27.480
Every time we go, there's something there, right by the airport.
00:13:28.480
Pat, don't worry about it.
00:13:29.780
We don't need your ID.
00:13:30.780
Just go to the airport.
00:13:31.780
The car's waiting here for you.
00:13:33.060
Brand new purple disc.
00:13:34.480
Brand new Bentley that just came out for $400,000.
00:13:36.480
Brand new disc.
00:13:37.480
And we would go.
00:13:38.480
We'd have it, right?
00:13:39.480
Do you not think I want to tell the world about this guy?
00:13:43.100
Do you not think I want to help this guy out?
00:13:44.860
He goes extra above and beyond.
00:13:46.480
One time, we're at a place at a restaurant.
00:13:49.480
I'm having challenges at the time because my kids were tired.
00:13:53.300
They were knocked out.
00:13:54.860
And my wife and I were in one car, and they're trying to go home.
00:13:58.580
One of my friends, Alfred, is like, what are you guys' name, Pat?
00:14:01.220
What's going on?
00:14:02.220
I said, no, I don't want to get an Uber because it's late.
00:14:04.800
I want to be able to get somebody, a driver.
00:14:06.800
He says, I've got a driver.
00:14:07.800
I said, you mean you've got a driver at this time?
00:14:08.800
It's 11.30.
00:14:09.800
He says, Pat, I've got a driver.
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So you've got a driver at 11?
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He says, Pat, I'm telling you, I've got a driver.
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What does he do?
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Car pulls up.
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Nice Escalade.
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Kids get in the car.
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I said, you trust this person?
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He said, Pat, I promise you, I trust this person.
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They get in the car.
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They take him to the hotel, all the way from Glendale, all the way down to Beverly Hills Hilton.
00:14:26.420
And afterwards, I said, man, how did you get somebody that, you know, an Escalade shows
00:14:29.420
up at midnight to take my kids to the place, a person you trust at this level?
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He says, it was my dad.
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I said, what did you say?
00:14:35.860
He says, my dad.
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I said, you've got your dad, who's in his 70s, to leave his house, to come pick up my
00:14:42.940
kids and my wife, to take him to the hotel?
00:14:45.560
He said, yes.
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I mean, listen, he calls me the other day.
00:14:48.500
We're speaking for two hours on a Sunday.
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What do you think I'm going to do for this guy, right?
00:14:52.260
This is the stuff where it's extra factor, above and beyond.
00:14:57.040
We're taking it to different levels.
00:14:59.080
And I don't want to drop names, because God knows how many names I can drop here.
00:15:02.540
I can give you a lot of different names that I do business with, that we have in that circle.
00:15:05.960
But it's very important for you to realize the value of this.
00:15:08.420
Let me go a little bit deeper for you, that you're still watching, and some of you, this
00:15:12.040
is not going to be one of those videos that gets a lot of views.
00:15:14.020
This is not a big view video.
00:15:15.440
Some people are going to be like, what is he talking about in our circle?
00:15:17.740
But those of you that are still watching this, look, I've had a lot of ridiculous levels
00:15:23.400
of success in my life, in ways where I'm humbled by it.
00:15:26.220
I cannot believe this just happened right now.
00:15:28.980
If I were to tell you the value of what caused it to get there, this is there 10 out of 10
00:15:34.480
times.
00:15:35.480
Simple.
00:15:36.480
This is there 10 out of 10 times.
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Both me being part of the right circles, and now creating the right circles.
00:15:43.480
Because you have to, one, create your own circle, and you're going to be part of different circles,
00:15:47.540
right?
00:15:48.540
They both pull from each other, and they go hand in hand.
00:15:51.100
But if you are somebody that respects the code of an inner circle at the highest level,
00:15:57.060
and so do the other four, and the vision is big, and everyone's bought into the vision
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of this, whatever this group's going to be doing together, I just want you to know, future
00:16:05.100
looks bright.
00:16:06.100
This is why I'm wearing this shirt here that says future looks bright.
00:16:08.360
We just came out with this shirt.
00:16:09.360
For some of you guys that do want it, we're going to put the link below.
00:16:11.900
You can get this, I think, in black, blue, and red.
00:16:14.720
But the future looks bright when the team is working very well together, based on the
00:16:19.480
right foundation.
00:16:20.960
So if you want today's PDF, text INNERCIRCLE to 310-340-1132.
00:16:27.840
Once again, INNERCIRCLE to 310-340-1132.
00:16:32.500
And if you're international, go to the link below, subscribe to our newsletter, we'll send
00:16:35.880
you the PDF as well of the 15 points.
00:16:38.120
You can train this to your salespeople, to your employees, to your executives, whoever
00:16:41.140
may be, and you can make adjustments to what the inner circle would be important to you.
00:16:45.760
And if you watch this video, I told you I had another video to recommend you.
00:16:48.280
I did a video, I think, four years ago, May of 2017, I want to say.
00:16:52.580
The title is, Who to Trust in Business.
00:16:54.800
If you've never watched this video, it goes pretty deep.
00:16:57.620
Click over here to watch that video.
00:16:59.160
And with that being said, take care everybody.
00:17:00.820
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye.
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