15 Types of Parents - Your Next 5 Moves As A Parent
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Summary
In this episode, we discuss the 15 types of parenting and the types of parents you should be as a parent, and what to look for in a good one. 1. Helicopter parents 2. Overprotective parents 3. Demilitarized parents 4. Dictator parents 5. Passive parents 6. Military parents 7. Negative parents 8. Imposer parents 9. Imposer parents 10. Positive parents 11. Negative fears 12. Positive values 13. Positive principles 14. Positive parenting 15. Negative parenting
Transcript
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I feel I'm so close I could take sweet victory.
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Yeah, why would you bet on Goliath when we got Bet David?
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This world of entrepreneurs, we get no value to haters.
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Today we're going to talk about the different types of parenting.
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We'll talk about 15 types of parenting and what your next five moves ought to be as a parent.
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The first type of parenting is helicopter parents.
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These are parents that are over, overprotective.
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I remember back in the days when we used to go to the park, my dad would tell my mom,
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Because when I would phone my mom, we're like, oh my gosh.
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And he said, we are no longer taking mom to the park.
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Bulldozer parents are those that take all the problems away from you.
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They call the teacher and they blame everything on the teacher.
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They're going to try to solve every single one of your problems all the time.
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And typically what happens with kids like this, they become very timid and they don't
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know how to solve their own problems because their parents have been solving their problems
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Number three is dictator, which is my way or the highway.
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You either do what I'm telling you or no, I pay the bills here.
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Number four is your perfect parent, which is, oh my gosh, my son would never do anything
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My daughter would never, they never do anything wrong.
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Like this kid is like growing up thinking he or she is perfect and walking on water.
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What happens later on is they realize they're not perfect and they're so scared of failing
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because the entire lives their parents told them you're so perfect.
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They try to discipline you, but you ran all over them, which means, no honey, don't do
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You woke up in the morning, you had to make your bed perfectly and you have to have your
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shoes in a perfect place and you have to say yes sir to your dad and one of those things,
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Number seven is a negative, highly, highly critical.
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Everything you did wrong, they were negative with you, just constantly critical.
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Some of these have to do with cultures that are raised that way.
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Any kind of fears that are passed down in the religion side is passed down to you and
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you know what those fears are, so you live with those fears.
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And by the way, on the other side with faith-based is also right values and principles being passed
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Imposer is somebody that's imposing their dreams on you.
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They didn't make it into basketball, they want to make sure you do.
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They didn't make it into movies, they want to make sure that you do.
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But it's not your dreams, but they're imposing it on you rather than trying to find out what
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Next one is the one-parent household, which the mom has to play the role of the mom and
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the dad, or the dad has to play the role of the dad and the mom.
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And it's complicated because you don't know if one minute you're talking to your dad, trying
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to be a dad, or you're talking to your dad, trying to be a mom, or you don't know if
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you're talking to your mom, trying to be a mom, or mom trying to be a dad.
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And it's very confusing, and they're trying to do their best.
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You have the uninvolved parent, which, you know, they don't really care what you do.
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But dad, I'm going to go out and I'm going to go with the kids to the park.
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Dad, I don't know what time I'm going to be back home.
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And that's it, like there's not involved, not interest, little too trusting in the things
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The guy wasn't in the picture, and he had left a massive scar, or she wasn't in the picture,
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Number 13 is abuse of alcohol, physical drugs, sexual abuse, or words, which sometimes words
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are worse than other types of abuse, because those really stay with you, and they raise you
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And number 15 is structured and encouraging independent thinking, which is kind of like, hey, here's
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While you're watching this, you may be saying, my mom is this style.
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By the way, I'd be curious to know what style you are if you're a parent, comment below.
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I'd be curious to know what your parents were as a style, comment below.
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But you're kind of looking at this, and in your mind, you're automatically going, that's
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The next part is three questions I want you to ask about your parents.
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What did you love about the way your parents parented you?
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Were they your best friend from you being a kid?
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What is it that they did that you loved about them?
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The second thing is, what did you hate about the way they parented you?
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What was it that you hated about the way your parents parented you?
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What did you love about the way they parented you that hurt you?
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And what did you hate about the way your parents parented you that ended up helping you?
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Maybe you loved that, but was that good for you?
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So it's very important before we blame our parents to kind of see what you hated that
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ended up being good and what you loved that ended up being bad.
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Because no matter what the parenting is, style is, and no matter what your parents did
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to raise you, there's two things you got to keep in mind.
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There's things you and I are born with and your kids are born with.
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Your physical features, you're tall, you're short, you're big bone, you're small bone,
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your face, the way you look, your eyes, your legs, your feet.
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Your physical features, it's what you're born with.
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And your talents, there's some talents that you have.
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Parents' job is to try to figure out a way to work with this and make the best out of
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Mindset, attitude, skills, association, values, and principles, and habits.
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Many times when you think about parenting, you hear a lot of people say, well, my style is
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I'm going to be my friend's best friend is what I'm going to do.
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So the best illustration of this concept that I can make to you is the following here,
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When a baby is born, it's way more important for you to be 100% their parent than their
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Because that newborn baby is hoping you know how to change diapers.
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That newborn baby is hoping you can feed them, nurse them, help them, clean them, get
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them to sleep, take care of them, make sure they're healthy, make sure they have shelter,
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They don't care if you're their best friend or not.
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The kid doesn't care if you're their best friend or not.
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They're hoping you know how to parent them 100%.
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Like you don't say, hey baby, how was your day today?
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Now as they age, as they age, you eventually become less of a parent and the goal is to
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And by the way, long term, many times your kids end up becoming your parents.
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And many times you, maybe right now 48 years old, watching and saying, dude, I feel like
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The biggest factor here when I put age, this is parenting when we're born.
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What age do you want to be the middle side, which means you're still parenting them, but
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You know, I was talking to Ric Flair a couple years ago at his place in Atlanta.
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And I said, so tell me about your experience with your son, because his documentary is about
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His father eventually ended up dying at a young age, I think 24, 25.
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And when he was choked up and being willing to be transparent about this, he said, the
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mistake I made is I tried to be my son's friend, not his father.
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It was so powerful when he said this, because you're watching the saying, he says, man, I'd
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So this will be a challenge you will have as a parent to decide when you're going to
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But let me give you the five things here to be thinking about your next five moves as
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Number one thing you got to make a decision is, identify your style of parenting.
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And by the way, many times you saw your friend's dad or you saw your friend's mom.
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What my mom did with this, I used to hate it when I was 13, but I love now what my
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But man, that really helped me out a lot today.
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Number two, what values and principles do you want to pass down to your kids?
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I have my own list of things that I want to pass down to them.
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What things do you want to pass down to your kids that you want them to pick up from?
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Everything to me in my household is about negotiating.
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So they'll come and say, Dad, I want to be able to get this.
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And I did this, and I did that, and I did this.
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And you didn't tell me to do this, but I still went and did this.
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The other thing is delayed gratification in my household.
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They don't get to open it for nine months, but they get to look at it.
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It creates delayed gratification, which is kind of like, oh my gosh, I can't wait to
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Like right now, my son, we went and bought a nice Lego set that he wanted.
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He's read a couple hundred books, but never 200 page books.
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And he says, Dad, if I finish this Percy Jackson series, can I open up that Lego?
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He's got two more to wrap up to open up the Lego.
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And you know what he's doing right now with me?
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So delayed gratification, negotiation, earning.
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These are some of the things that we do in our family, but I have more others.
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Those are just some of the ones I'm giving you.
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Number three, what kind of routine, structure, creativity, and fun can you create at different
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A routine that you have for your six-year-old kid cannot be as effective as a 10-year-old
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kid, won't be as effective as a 14-year-old kid, and will not be effective as a 17-year-old
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kid that may be an athlete that's a student-athlete.
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It has to be a different routine, but you always got to have some of these things in place.
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For example, during the pandemic, when the kids started coming with me, one of the things
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Every day, the kids were required to make 52 shots, every day, shots made, baskets made,
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Then outside of that, required to read 20 pages every day of a book, required to read
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an hour documentary, and 25 laps in the pool in our house.
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I'm just telling you that's my routine that I pass on to my kids.
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You know what happened by the time the pandemic was that they could go back to school?
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They could talk about different topics, philosophy, Socrates, Einstein, stuff that people, what
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And we've had a ton of fun together as well at the same time.
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Now, number four, what's the currency in your house for them to get what they want?
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What is the currency in your house to get what they want?
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Meaning, if you say, you have to respect, you've got to respect people, you've got to
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In my household, my number one currency is reading books.
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So if you want to come and negotiate with me in my house as a kid, your currency is reading.
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You come to me and say, Dad, I read 80 pages today.
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Let me ask some questions on the pages you read.
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Some households, the currency changes all the time, so it's not clear for kids.
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If you and I want to go shopping, what is the currency in the U.S.?
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Your household, the currency has to be a currency that's clear.
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For me, it's reading books more than it is grades because reading books is forever.
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Grades is eventually going to stop once they're done going to high school and college.
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But reading books is permanent, and that lasts when they're 48 years old.
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If they get the bug of reading, it's game over for them, right?
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You've got to make a decision what your currency is.
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Last but not least, number five is who and how can you leverage other people to help with
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A friend that you have that runs a business that you can have your kid go around them?
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These are five things I think about when it comes down to parenting.
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These are five moves you can be thinking about when it comes down to parenting.
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And move number two, move number two, I believe, is the most important skill set to teach your
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If you work with me, any one of my kids, any one of my employees that have ever worked with
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me here, there's one thing they all get very good at.
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The whole culture here is about processing issues and negotiating.
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And by the way, if you haven't already subscribed to Valuetainment on iTunes, please do so.
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And if you have any questions for me that you may have, you can always find me on Snapchat,
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And I actually do respond back when you snap me or send me a message on Instagram.