Valuetainment - September 28, 2021


20 Rules For Young Men


Episode Stats

Length

19 minutes

Words per Minute

243.57225

Word Count

4,702

Sentence Count

1

Misogynist Sentences

5

Hate Speech Sentences

4


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 So this got to be a very weird time to be a young man because if you watch tv they
00:00:03.460 present a young man as a silly funny everybody makes fun of them weeks they're like maybe that's
00:00:08.060 how i'm supposed to be as a young man so that's how i'm going to get the attention because that's
00:00:11.220 who the hero is on tv and then you listen to music it's a complete different portrayal of
00:00:15.560 what it is to be young man to be cool so what is the right of being a young man i'm going to give
00:00:19.260 you today 20 rules of what it is to be a young man in today's times so if today's episode gives
00:00:29.340 you good perspective give it a thumbs up and subscribe to the channel stick around till
00:00:32.380 the very and i get a surprise for you so let's get right into it point number one know the difference
00:00:35.800 between lust and love there's a big difference between love and lust when you're young you tend
00:00:40.040 to fall in love quick and whenever you fall in love you lose your emotions you lose your mind you
00:00:45.580 don't really know what you're doing but it's just maybe somebody you dated with her sex was great
00:00:50.080 just maybe somebody you dated with there's a great connection in the bedroom or whatever it may be you
00:00:54.340 have a certain level of connection together right and that may confuse you on this may be the person
00:01:00.120 that i ought to be with for the rest of my life but marriage love long-term relationship is a very
00:01:05.400 big difference between a great good time you had with somebody i had relationships in the past where
00:01:10.240 i was confused i thought this is it but it was just great one aspect of the life and then eventually
00:01:15.520 later on you start taking your time and you say wait a minute i'm just having a good time with this
00:01:18.860 person this is not somebody i'm gonna end up with but for current time i'm having a good time
00:01:22.980 great so you have to differentiate between those too many young men make a mistake in that area number
00:01:27.340 two it's okay to go to movies by yourself i like to go to movies by myself because it allows me to
00:01:32.500 think it's a form of me almost meditating it's a form of me being by myself thinking about my own
00:01:38.980 thoughts what i'm doing next for you may not be meditating for you may be a different thing that
00:01:42.720 you're doing yoga whatever it is but in any way you can figure out a way to get away from the noise
00:01:47.560 you're by yourself where you can kind of think about what's going on with life it's a very good thing for
00:01:52.140 young men to do too often it's always around people you kind of need a little bit of your
00:01:56.440 own time to be thinking about your future number three hygiene is more important than you think
00:02:01.040 cologne alone cannot make up for bad body odor so whether it's when you're younger you're like i'm
00:02:07.720 just working out it's not a big deal you got the sweat you know on your shirts and all this other
00:02:11.720 stuff and you're not really thinking about it yeah you brush your teeth but it's like a 20 second
00:02:15.400 brushing your teeth you know yeah you kind of shave but you don't really you're not that much into it
00:02:19.480 yeah you kind of wash your body but it's like a two minute shower you got to kind of take that part
00:02:23.420 very seriously and i'm talking all aspects of it washing shaving odor you know having the right
00:02:29.120 you know deodorant to use all of that package comes together there's many content and great channels to
00:02:35.080 teach you on how to do this on the hygiene side but never underestimate the value of hygiene because
00:02:40.340 when somebody sees you and you're presentable you smell good you look good in every possible way you
00:02:46.120 give them the presentation that i take care of myself that says a lot about your character number
00:02:50.640 four never ever and i mean never ever get together with a friend's ex never do this if your friend
00:02:58.560 is dating a girl mary they break up but mary calls you don't ever go get together with mary i've seen this
00:03:08.140 happen so many times and ruin so many different friendships and in our circle if anybody ever did this
00:03:15.480 one you were either out of the circle or you're going to have a problem with me because that's
00:03:19.840 not something that we do in our circle if if someone like i remember one time we went to a club
00:03:23.600 and one of our old friends who was in the circle is with one of my best friend's girlfriend and i'm
00:03:31.140 like dude what are you doing it's like oh well she didn't want to be with them so she wanted to be
00:03:34.260 with me so do that there's like millions of people in la you choose this what does it matter with you
00:03:38.100 that's not what you do there there was a friction there no one in the group ever trusted him
00:03:42.240 ever again because of that specific reason everybody always kept their girl away from him
00:03:47.100 and eventually he had to go find a different crew and when he wanted to come back people just wouldn't
00:03:51.080 trust him so basic rule there's millions of other girls out there don't go date or hook up with a
00:03:56.160 friend's ex just because they call you and they say when we would go have coffee together we'd go to
00:04:00.920 the club i always watched you because i always wanted to be with you if your friendship matters that
00:04:05.420 much don't cross that line five stay informed on what's going on don't be a sheep have your own
00:04:09.840 opinion there's certain certain things about when i talk to somebody who's 20 years old or 22 years old
00:04:14.560 and you talk to them and they say well i know this is what's being said here but i wonder what's going
00:04:18.400 on really over here because i read this book and they told me that i'm like wow a 21 year old with an
00:04:23.120 opinion like that good for you so be informed follow what's going on don't be a sheep have your own
00:04:29.020 opinions about it and say it in a way that doesn't offend anybody number six have a sense of humor
00:04:33.700 but don't joke about your dreams and goals so you want to tell a joke great if people don't laugh at
00:04:39.700 your jokes you're probably not good at telling jokes so go learn how to tell a good joke because
00:04:42.720 it's good to have a sense of humor break the ice but never joke about your goals yeah you know one
00:04:47.340 day i'm gonna end up being an actor we know that's never gonna happen yeah that's not funny don't do
00:04:51.280 that it's your dreams it's your goals you don't need to joke about your dreams and goals if you're
00:04:55.220 serious about your dreams and goals don't let anybody around you joke about your dreams and goals
00:04:59.020 because that's your goals i remember one time i'm 24 years 23 years old my first five business
00:05:06.200 ventures fail and we're out with a few friends and this one guy i'll never forget him one guy
00:05:12.400 starts joking about hey we thought you were going to be this and we thought you were going to be that
00:05:16.060 and he was joking and i look at him i felt so uncomfortable because at 23 i had failed multiple
00:05:22.500 times in businesses and i just stopped him right there i said listen i'm sorry is this a joke to you
00:05:27.160 you said you want to be a lawyer yes do i laugh about you being a lawyer no so don't laugh about me
00:05:31.120 being a business owner and i said well i'm just kidding with you i said don't kid about my dreams
00:05:35.100 and in that moment i felt listen i'm serious about what i want to do with my life and everybody else
00:05:42.040 had to feel it fast forward 19 years later look where we are today so have a sense of humor joke
00:05:47.540 around but not about your dreams and goals next study the types of people who upset you and why so
00:05:52.460 for the longest time i would say well i keep dating the same kind of girl why i didn't know until
00:05:57.600 eventually i started i'm like okay now it makes sense why i'm dating this girl and i'm like i'm
00:06:01.280 always having conflicts with these types of personalities why and i'm like oh i totally got
00:06:06.840 it this person didn't do anything wrong this person reminds you of xyz it's not their fault next time
00:06:12.380 this happens be aware that this is the reason why you don't get along with this person but then there
00:06:16.820 were certain things that when i came across somebody i didn't like him and i studied why i didn't like
00:06:22.780 him it was valid because they were manipulators because they were divisive because they were the kind of
00:06:26.920 people that would tell you good things in front of you and the moment you turned around and then
00:06:30.240 five other people said you know what he really said about you and like one person didn't say two
00:06:33.480 didn't say and you saw how he would talk trash about everybody in his family friends peers in front
00:06:39.420 of you if somebody does that to you guess who's next you're next so study why you get along with
00:06:45.520 certain people and why you don't some of it has to do with your flaws some of it is for valid reason
00:06:49.880 but it's not all the same you can't say well because that person's a bad person nope that's an alibi
00:06:54.040 you're using to make yourself feel better about yourself study why that happens with you next
00:06:58.440 stand up to bullies you'll only have to do it once this is not something that
00:07:02.160 you're going to have to do 50 times you're not going to get into a thousand fights you're not
00:07:05.500 going to get into 50 fights but if bullies always bully and you don't do anything about it you're
00:07:09.360 probably going to get into a lot of fights and it's not really fights it's just people bullying you
00:07:12.480 until one time you stand up to a bully and then you have a reputation not as a tough guy as somebody
00:07:18.860 that doesn't back down but you only got to do it once next don't bully people weaker than you
00:07:23.960 sometimes when you become stronger let's say you have more power more money more influence you lift
00:07:30.700 more weights whatever it is you're out of you're dating better you know you're doing you're the guy
00:07:34.340 or you're you know the one with the influence don't don't impose and bully other guys that are
00:07:40.000 weaker than you just because you're making yourself feel better it's a very weak quality it shows there's
00:07:44.400 deeper insecurities there there's no need to do that if you are the person that's doing well
00:07:47.960 be confident stand up don't let other people poke at you but at the same time don't impose your success
00:07:53.820 and all that stuff on other people it's not a good move it shows insecurities next learn how to tell
00:07:59.100 stories in the world of business and life many times if you want to make your point the best way to
00:08:03.760 make a good point is by telling stories learn how to tell a good story there's many books you can read
00:08:08.040 about how to tell a good story on the format of it but learn how to tell good stories matter of fact i got a
00:08:11.880 video i did on how to tell good stories if you've never seen it uh the link is over here as well
00:08:15.700 and we're going to put the link below as well let's continue number 11 don't lean on porn to get better
00:08:20.740 in bed read study and i'm not trying to be funny with you i know some people will say well pat i'm
00:08:25.700 visual i'm a visual type of person that's why i watch porn because i learn how to get better in bed
00:08:30.640 by watching a lot of porn i totally get it i was in the army and you know on our floor second floor
00:08:35.000 if i came back to the barracks at seven o'clock all i heard on blast is uh all i heard on blast
00:08:42.400 sergeant on this side that guy's bracken he's got the best vhs this guy's bracken there's 10 guys in
00:08:47.320 the room watching this was a military thing everybody was doing it and listen i get it if
00:08:51.760 you're going through it but the way sex is done in porn many times is not the best way to please and
00:08:58.920 you kind of look like a fool when you try to test those things out in the bedroom versus i understand
00:09:04.120 exploring but there's also things you can read about to find out what areas work better than other
00:09:09.400 areas there's great content great books on that take the time you don't need to advertise on 10
00:09:13.840 best books on how to get better in bed but go there's plenty of content out there on how to learn
00:09:18.300 how to do that don't let porn be your teacher let books be your teacher on how to actually get good in
00:09:23.920 that area next okay number 12 you never marry a girl you marry the family so if you're dating a girl
00:09:29.440 and you don't get along with the family but you like the girl you love the girl but the family's a mess
00:09:33.080 you have to make sure that part's also right because the moment you guys have kids together
00:09:38.160 or other issues that come up she's going to call the family and if you don't get along with the
00:09:41.760 family the family's not going to back you up and then there's going to be a separation constant my
00:09:44.920 parents got two divorces in 20 years neither family liked each other my mom's family didn't like my
00:09:49.140 dad's family my dad's family didn't like my mom's family they thought it was going to work out
00:09:52.120 didn't work out so always remember if you're dating a girl and if it's somebody you want to be with long
00:09:55.980 term make sure you kind of like the family as well and if you maybe you don't like the family because
00:10:00.620 they don't know yet or maybe you don't like them because you don't know them yet create that
00:10:04.420 opportunity to get to know each other but if there's not a connection there you're probably
00:10:08.720 going to end up having problems with these guys for a long time so be patient with it stay strong
00:10:12.560 don't give up but strive to find out where to learn more about the family and if it doesn't work
00:10:17.760 yet it's going to be problems in the future number 13 don't complain you seem helpless 80% of people
00:10:23.140 quite frankly don't care you have problems 20% of people are kind of glad you do have problems you
00:10:27.300 have friends and family that are glad that you have problems when you're always complaining it's
00:10:30.940 an unattractive quality because what you're telling the world is i'm helpless i'm helpless i don't know
00:10:37.200 how to help myself please oh my gosh what do i do don't complain constantly it's a weak move you seem
00:10:43.020 helpless it doesn't mean you don't talk to your peers and say i'm dealing with something i'm struggling
00:10:46.620 with something i'm not telling you to internalize it and not be vulnerable and talk to your peers but if
00:10:51.560 you're always complaining around other people it's a very very weak move on your end number 14 be
00:10:56.580 impressed by the right things things that matter a lot of times people will be impressed by the
00:11:01.960 wrong things oh this guy's got nice jewelry this guy's got nice this this guy's got nice cars this
00:11:07.560 guy's got nice that don't get me wrong i like the ferrari i like the lambo the rolls royce i like i've
00:11:12.020 had all those exotics i like all of those things but what impressed me is wow this guy's had a hundred
00:11:19.280 people that have been working with him for 50 years why what what does that say about this guy's
00:11:24.180 character what do you do to keep people that long wow this guy's kids love him and want to be around
00:11:29.920 him all the time what is he doing wow look at this person he's so disciplined the way he teaches
00:11:34.500 talks to waiters and waitresses i like to be impressed by those things the other stuff is
00:11:40.480 ancillary stuff that you'll get if you become successful when you become impressed by that you
00:11:44.500 also become a man of character and eventually that's going to serve you in many different aspects
00:11:48.380 of life number 15 when coming across a successful person don't talk too much ask don't talk too much
00:11:54.200 you know a lot of times like well let me tell you oh my gosh you're my hero me oh my oh you won't
00:11:58.320 even know understand very simple hey love your story very impressed what you've done i appreciate you
00:12:03.260 you mind if i ask you a couple questions yeah when you were my age what was the biggest struggle you had
00:12:08.020 ask questions because that person's gonna walk away saying wow that guy's that guy's very inquisitive
00:12:15.240 that guy's asking questions who is that guy i think that guy's going places versus the other
00:12:18.600 guys that are just talking talking talking talking talking the person that asked the question the
00:12:22.340 other person walks away saying i'm impressed by that person number 16 have a memorable style i'm
00:12:27.000 not telling you wear a suit but if that's your style wear it yeah i'm not telling you to wear white
00:12:31.220 shirts or whatever but have a unique style about yourself if it's a hat wear that hat if it's certain
00:12:36.000 glasses wear it if you have a certain shoe or certain way you do think have a memorable style because
00:12:41.240 when people see you they're gonna say man every time i see that guy that guy's got style
00:12:44.740 your style figure out what your style is and make it memorable next 17 don't feel guilty
00:12:50.180 for being ambitious i remember i would talk about my dreams and some people like man you know what
00:12:56.280 whatever i mean who cares about this and who cares about this i'm like yeah you're right you know it's
00:13:00.700 right i'm like what am i doing no no no i'm ambitious this is who i am i'm wired this way i'm not
00:13:06.800 going to apologize for this be proud of your ambitious don't apologize if you have big ambitions in
00:13:12.160 life number 18 be mentally and emotionally ready for losing loved ones this is a tough one my dad
00:13:16.720 prepared me for this at six years old when he we went for a walk around we were getting bombed all
00:13:21.740 the time so he kind of wanted to prepare me because where he was working was getting bombed pretty bad
00:13:25.240 and he said you know one day i'm gonna die i said why what do you mean one day you're gonna die i'm six
00:13:30.140 years old think about this he said one day i'm gonna die i said dad i don't want to talk about this he
00:13:35.120 says one day i'm gonna die and you have to be happy about it i said i'm not gonna be happy about it
00:13:39.280 you're my best friend what do you mean you're gonna die he says no one day i'm gonna die and
00:13:42.340 you have to know at least you had those amount of years with me so you have to be grateful i said
00:13:45.640 you mean to tell me if your mom i know you love your mom your mom dies you're gonna be happy he
00:13:49.340 says i'm absolutely gonna be happy i said i don't believe you fast forward my his mom died at 72
00:13:54.120 years old and i'm like a hawk watching him right this was uh in 2000 and uh uh 2000 maybe 1999 or 2000
00:14:03.640 when she passed away so 11 years ago and i was my late 20s and i watch him late 20s early 30s and i watch
00:14:08.720 him and i see i'm seeing what this guy's gonna do uh not late 20s i'm in my early 20s and i'm
00:14:14.120 watching him i'm like let's see what happens he goes mom's dying he's got tears coming down but he's
00:14:19.140 got a smile on his face so why are you smiling he says do you realize i had a mom with me for
00:14:24.660 freaking 60 something years i'm the luckiest man alive and he was telling all these happy stories
00:14:30.140 about his mom you have to mentally and emotionally be ready that you're gonna lose loved ones you're in
00:14:34.900 your 20s maybe not in your 20s but it's gonna happen but the more mentally and emotionally you're
00:14:39.180 ready for it it will not destroy you when it happens not you will not be hurt of course you're
00:14:44.180 gonna be hurt these are loved ones but life's gonna suck at times and it's gonna suck in a major way
00:14:49.620 and if you're not mentally and emotionally prepared and spiritually prepared for it
00:14:53.260 sometimes that phase of sucking rather than lasting for a week a month or two months or three months
00:14:58.700 sometimes it lasts a year two years three years and it destroys
00:15:01.400 a great young man's life with a big potential so i know it's not the most exciting topic to talk
00:15:07.520 about but i'm trying to mentally and emotionally get you ready to be thinking about some of those
00:15:10.680 thoughts so let's continue next number 19 always have some cash condoms and a power bank with you
00:15:15.720 uh cash because things are going to come up uh condoms because you don't ever want to make a
00:15:20.760 mistake and next you know you're looking back saying why did i do that and power bank because if
00:15:24.880 something happens to you car breaks down something you're stuck in the middle of nowhere you don't know
00:15:29.520 how to you know charge your battery it's always good to have a power bank because either you or
00:15:32.920 somebody else probably going to need it number 20 be aware of uh your level of sensitivities and here
00:15:37.360 let me explain to what i mean by this last 20 years i started off as a 22 year old and i worked my
00:15:42.600 way up 21 22 year old and i worked my way up to where i'm at right now i watched a lot of my young
00:15:47.760 friends who were also like me growing up 22 year old 23 year old men who were sensitive if somebody
00:15:54.980 challenged him too much who who did not control their sensitivities and i would watch my sensitivity
00:16:00.480 i did not like what that guy said i want to punch him like i would literally i'm going to punch him
00:16:04.820 in the face 22 year old kid with a lot of temper just got out of the military like wait wait wait
00:16:08.240 what what what did he poke that bothered you what did he poke that it bothered you right so slowly i'm
00:16:15.280 like man that area keeps hurting if somebody challenges you know why is that okay why don't we do
00:16:19.980 something about it but then i watched some of my friends like i cannot believe that happened
00:16:23.740 every single time the smallest crisis would happen flight flight flight flight this relationship
00:16:31.540 didn't work out flight this relation flight this job didn't work out flight every single time
00:16:37.020 here's what i want to prepare you for any relationship any friendship any business any career you take
00:16:42.120 there's going to be multiple moments of friction if every time friction happens you run you can do that
00:16:48.540 for the rest of your life it's not the friction's fault it's the way of handling the friction's fault
00:16:53.520 you got to be aware of what offended you how sensitive you are and rather than just i can't
00:16:58.580 deal with this anymore and you run away like a little kid no if you want to be a grown man you
00:17:03.740 got to sit there and say listen i knew what happened the other day bothers me i want to improve
00:17:07.080 but there are certain things that made me feel a little bit uncomfortable i want to talk to you about
00:17:10.620 it i'm not saying i'm leaving all i'm saying is can we figure out a way to improve this situation
00:17:14.440 here and in that method progress is made freezing not saying anything nothing happens flight so your
00:17:21.160 rest of your life you're going to run away from prompts but if you're fighting you say can we
00:17:24.160 address this issue people are going to respect you more and eventually you'll end up being a leader
00:17:27.480 but that level of sensitivity with this generation people are too quick to just run away from the
00:17:32.580 problem and challenge they face and what happens is their friends do the same exact thing it's a weak
00:17:36.780 move don't be that person 21 and i got four bonuses for you regardless of what you get paid an hour
00:17:41.720 four bucks an hour which they don't do anymore 720 in america 10 bucks an hour 15 bucks an hour 20
00:17:47.080 bucks i don't care when i worked at burger king i worked my tail off when i worked at valley's i
00:17:54.020 worked my tail off when i was in the army i worked my tail i don't care what you paid me i worked my
00:17:59.600 tail off and that reputation was out there people would say dude i don't care what you pay this guy
00:18:05.400 this guy's gonna work he's gonna work his ass up he's gonna have a great attitude so because i worked
00:18:10.100 my tail off because i had a great attitude opportunities would constantly come my way we
00:18:13.920 have a promotion for you we have a promotion for you we have a promotion for you we have a sale for
00:18:18.280 you this client wants to talk to you the way you handled that client was so impressive i got another
00:18:21.280 client for you so it doesn't matter what you're getting paid don't pay attention to what you're
00:18:25.940 getting paid pay attention to your effort pay attention to your attitude you will be amazed by the
00:18:30.420 amount of opportunities that have come your way so that's 21 rules for you but i got a four additional
00:18:34.800 bonus that you have to text the word young men m-e-n young men to 310-340-1132 one more time
00:18:41.720 310-340-1132 or if you're international click on a link below subscribe to our newsletter we'll send
00:18:48.040 these 21 rules plus the four additional bonus and on top of that i got two other things for you one is
00:18:53.040 a video i did uh i don't know six years ago who to marry how to marry if that's the face of your life
00:18:56.720 you're in click over to watch that video and outside of that the book that i think would help a lot
00:19:01.080 of young men out it's a book i wrote a year ago called your next five moves if you've not read the
00:19:06.080 book or listen to the audio click over here to go read the book as well as the audio it's going to
00:19:11.140 clarify for you on what your next 5 10 15 moves out of you if you got a lot of value give us a thumbs
00:19:16.160 up and subscribe to the channel take care everybody bye