Valuetainment - Cop Who Saved 200 Lives on the Golden Gate Bridge Opens Up

00:00:00.000 I received my first call of an individual over this four-foot pedestrian rail.

00:00:04.920 You're only out, you feel, is giving up your life.

00:00:08.120 The look in her eyes is they want to live, but they can't see how,

00:00:12.160 and they're in such emotional pain that they just can't take it anymore.

00:00:15.880 What would be the first thing you would ask me?

00:00:17.520 We've all seen it where an officer or a citizen rushes up on a bridge

00:00:21.000 and grabs someone and pulls them over.

00:00:22.460 Fantastic, great.

00:00:23.380 I want that individual to come back over that rail on their own.

00:00:27.180 So if you have the courage to come back over the rail,

00:00:29.000 you have the courage to fight and continue on.

00:00:32.120 What got them to jump?

00:00:34.080 Usually when they let go, for negotiators, it's not to look.

00:00:38.000 Don't look down and watch that body. 0.60

00:00:39.520 Oh my gosh.

00:00:40.940 Many times it's the folks who have been suffering for a long time.

00:00:44.340 They've just had enough.

00:00:45.560 They're emotionally exhausted and they can't see a way out.

00:00:48.920 We want to get them some help, but it is difficult.

00:00:51.440 You know, there's not a lot of money put into mental health.

00:00:53.880 Sometimes they're waiting two months to get an appointment with a mental health professional.

00:00:57.080 I mean, that's not right if you're in crisis.

00:00:59.000 We need to get help now.

00:01:00.840 My guest today is Sergeant Kevin Briggs, 23 years CHP, veteran in the Army prior to that.

00:01:12.200 And he gave a talk on TED, which was so powerful, the bridge between suicide and life.

00:01:19.900 And then later on, he wrote a book called The Gardening of Golden Gate,

00:01:23.460 Protecting the Line Between Hope and Despair.

00:01:25.460 Over 200 lives were saved of people who are about to commit suicide, jumping off that bridge,

00:01:32.260 which is known for suicide.

00:01:34.400 And the motivation behind why he wanted to change people's life is very deep.

00:01:39.300 And I want to really get into it.

00:01:40.260 It is something that a lot of people struggle with today, mental anxiety, panic, depression.

00:01:47.560 And I really want to hit up that topic.

00:01:49.400 And that's not just in regular life.

00:01:50.820 People go through it in business.

00:01:51.980 There's a lot of people that are running a business that are running out of money.

00:01:55.000 They're by themselves.

00:01:55.780 They're alone.

00:01:56.220 So I wanted to bring him on.

00:01:57.380 So Sergeant Kevin Briggs, thank you so much for being a guest on Valuetainment.

00:02:01.160 Yes, sir.

00:02:01.740 Thank you for having me.

00:02:02.700 Absolute pleasure.

00:02:03.740 So a question for you.

00:02:05.280 I know the story.

00:02:06.320 I've read it.

00:02:06.980 I got your notes here.

00:02:08.180 I've seen your talk multiple times.

00:02:09.980 And I've gone through it.

00:02:12.260 You know, if you can walk us through your past all the way up to the first time you were able to save someone from jumping off the bridge.

00:02:22.280 If you can kind of give us the backstory there.

00:02:25.260 Sure.

00:02:25.700 Right out of high school, way back in 1981, I went into the Army, into the infantry, and was stationed up in Fort Lewis, Washington for a year.

00:02:34.520 And then I went over to Germany.

00:02:35.500 And when I was in Germany, just at age 20, I was diagnosed with cancer, testicular cancer.

00:02:42.200 So I had my first operation in Germany.

00:02:44.120 They sent me back to San Francisco, Letterman Army Medical Center, where I had two more operations and found out that cancer had spread up in my abdomen.

00:02:54.440 So then I went through the chemotherapy.

00:02:56.500 And you know how chemotherapy is.

00:02:57.940 It's brutal.

00:02:58.740 I went down to 135 pounds or so, lost all my hair.

00:03:02.680 Really tough stuff.

00:03:04.000 But went through all that.

00:03:06.640 Took about a year off, lived at home with my parents, worked with my daddy at a printing shop in San Francisco for a bit.

00:03:12.420 And then wanted to get in law enforcement.

00:03:15.160 I applied several places, but I was accepted by California Department of Corrections.

00:03:19.940 So I worked at Soledad Prison for a year, and then San Quentin State Prison for two years.

00:03:25.360 And when I was working at San Quentin, a guy I was working with wanted to go out for the California Highway Patrol.

00:03:32.080 And I'm like, and I don't know.

00:03:33.500 He kept bugging me to do it with him.

00:03:34.940 I go, I don't think I can make it, man.

00:03:36.500 Those guys were squared away at all.

00:03:39.280 But I went through it, and I made it.

00:03:41.720 And unfortunately, he didn't.

00:03:44.040 You've got to be kidding me.

00:03:45.740 He didn't make it.

00:03:47.260 He didn't ask, hey, let's go to this, but he don't make it, and it was your idea in the first place.

00:03:53.380 You know, it's a six-month live-in academy, and I just worked my butt off there.

00:03:58.560 I graduated fourth out of the class, but I couldn't believe it.

00:04:01.480 I just studied, studied, studied, gave up six months out of my life.

00:04:04.660 To be there, I've got to do this.

00:04:06.480 So I started out over by Oakland, California.

00:04:09.420 Many people have heard of Oakland.

00:04:10.500 I was in the East Bay in Hayward.

00:04:13.480 Spent a few years there, and then got back over to Marin, where I'm from.

00:04:17.200 And if folks don't know, Marin connects to San Francisco via that Golden Gate Bridge.

00:04:21.900 So I didn't know a lot of officers did not want to work down on this bridge for a reason.

00:04:27.360 And I had crossed that bridge.

00:04:28.960 Being from Marin, I crossed that bridge hundreds of times, but I had no idea that the number of suicides from this bridge and what people were going through.

00:04:37.600 Most people go there, celebrate birthdays, have a great time.

00:04:41.940 People from all over the world go there.

00:04:44.140 So I started working on this bridge, and I didn't know what to do.

00:04:48.640 I received my first call of an individual over this four-foot pedestrian rail.

00:04:53.200 And I'm thinking, I don't know what to say, what to do.

00:04:56.680 I wasn't trained for this in any way, shape, or manner.

00:05:00.320 Young woman over the rail.

00:05:01.660 I just went up, and compared to what I would do now was quite different because I didn't have any training.

00:05:07.760 It was horrible.

00:05:08.740 And I'm thinking, if she jumps, is it my fault?

00:05:10.800 Am I responsible? 0.97

00:05:12.100 So it sucked. 0.92

00:05:13.640 It really did. 0.60

00:05:14.960 But I spoke with her for some time.

00:05:17.320 I don't remember how long it was.

00:05:18.880 I think she was on the verge of being homeless. 0.99

00:05:21.600 She had suffered from mental illness.

00:05:23.580 She had a lot of things going on.

00:05:25.460 But I did have empathy.

00:05:26.700 And so the look in her eyes, which most people that I think that I've spoken with, is they want to live, but they can't see how.

00:05:34.480 And they're in such emotional pain that they just can't take it anymore.

00:05:38.300 And I'll tell you, they don't want to hurt anybody else.

00:05:40.160 They just can't take it anymore.

00:05:43.160 So this young woman did come back over the rail.

00:05:47.240 And after seeing the look in her eyes, both over the rail and when she came back, this look of relief, but still scared and wondering how things are going to go.

00:05:55.760 I wanted to study more and learn more about this and talk to people who have done this.

00:06:01.220 I wanted this to be my craft, so to speak.

00:06:04.560 And that's what I did.

00:06:05.700 And so eventually, way later in my career, I did go through the FBI Crisis Negotiator School, and that helped tremendously.

00:06:14.120 I found out some things I were doing that was great and other things that, oh, I really needed to think about telling folks and trying to talk to folks about.

00:06:22.400 So that was fantastic.

00:06:25.280 Such as, what were some of the things, if you don't mind sharing with us?

00:06:28.440 Sure.

00:06:29.000 Like what to say and what not to say.

00:06:31.020 And what I tell folks now is things not to say, like you should calm down.

00:06:36.820 I understand, and things will get better.

00:06:39.980 So if I'm talking to somebody and say, you know what you should have done, it kind of slaps them in the face.

00:06:44.300 And these are things that I did sporadically once in a while, but I really teach this now when I'm doing my presentations.

00:06:51.960 So you should calm down.

00:06:53.520 Of course, we try to stay clear of that.

00:06:55.620 You tell someone to calm down, what do they do?

00:06:57.320 They get mattered in hell.

00:06:58.360 You know, nobody's ever calmed down from telling them to calm down.

00:07:01.900 I understand what you're going through.

00:07:03.880 Do I really?

00:07:05.120 You know, I've been through a divorce.

00:07:06.340 I had the cancer.

00:07:07.680 I've had head injuries, multiple surgeries, a lot of stuff going on.

00:07:14.420 But I don't know what that individual has been going through.

00:07:18.400 Can't really compare it so much.

00:07:19.800 But if they say, you don't know what it's like to have cancer.

00:07:22.220 Well, I did.

00:07:23.300 We can talk about that.

00:07:25.140 Maybe some of the commonalities, the similarities in that.

00:07:27.880 And many times, commonalities will create comfort.

00:07:31.440 And that's what we're trying to do is build rapport.

00:07:34.520 And then telling someone things will get better.

00:07:37.200 I can't do that, really.

00:07:38.620 I just, I don't know.

00:07:39.440 I'm not a mental health professional.

00:07:40.460 I'm not a doctor.

00:07:41.580 I hope they will.

00:07:43.220 You know, if they're seriously contemplating suicide and, of course, working up on the bridge,

00:07:47.400 they're there.

00:07:48.660 But telling them, at least you'll have the opportunity for things to get better.

00:07:51.840 And then also, why?

00:07:54.500 Why did you do that?

00:07:55.880 It places blame on folks.

00:07:57.400 And it really will shut down that rapport that you're trying to build.

00:08:01.000 Oh, can you say that again?

00:08:02.080 So if you say, why did you do that?

00:08:03.960 It allows them to blame, unpack that again?

00:08:08.340 It's like, I'm blaming them.

00:08:09.980 Why are you here?

00:08:10.880 Why did you do that?

00:08:11.720 What are you doing that for?

00:08:12.560 It tends to shut them down.

00:08:15.420 It really does.

00:08:16.560 You know, why did you do that?

00:08:18.660 So don't ask that question.

00:08:20.040 Don't ask that or even use it as a statement.

00:08:22.740 That doesn't seem right.

00:08:23.820 So we're really just trying to listen.

00:08:27.580 And I tell folks, 70, 30, 80, 20, if you can listen for that amount of time, because a

00:08:32.660 lot of us, including myself, we tend to chat too much.

00:08:35.920 We're not learning anything.

00:08:37.580 Let that individual speak.

00:08:39.120 If they want to talk, let them speak.

00:08:41.320 It's fantastic.

00:08:42.500 They're venting.

00:08:43.160 And we all know that venting is wonderful for folks to allow them to get everything out,

00:08:48.540 what's been going on.

00:08:49.740 And we're learning more about them.

00:08:51.580 So let them speak.

00:08:53.820 So, and then that, and then what did they teach you outside of let them speak?

00:08:57.520 Was there, for example, let's just, if you don't mind role playing, if you came to me

00:09:01.500 and you saw me on the bridge, what would be the first thing you would ask me?

00:09:04.700 So here's what I would do.

00:09:06.800 Let's say you are over the rail, standing on this eye beam that's over there.

00:09:12.460 Instead of me just walking up to you and start to talk, I'm going to stay about 10,

00:09:16.080 15 feet back.

00:09:18.380 And I'm just going to open hand and go, you can see I'm in uniform.

00:09:21.540 I'm somebody of authority.

00:09:22.840 Just go, Hey, I'm Kevin.

00:09:25.320 Is it okay if I come up and chat with you for a while?

00:09:29.300 And when you allow me to, boom, that's a great icebreaker right there.

00:09:33.300 I'm giving you the opportunity to allow me to come up because many, many times these folks

00:09:38.020 have been kicked down so often and told, no, no, no.

00:09:41.300 You need to do this.

00:09:42.160 You should have done that.

00:09:43.480 By me asking a question, is it okay if I come up and speak with you?

00:09:47.620 I think that sets it for a really good tone for that interaction.

00:09:52.000 And when you do, I'm going to explain it.

00:09:53.780 I'm Kevin Briggs with the patrol.

00:09:55.580 I'm here for you today.

00:09:57.480 What's been going on?

00:09:59.680 I'm not going to touch you.

00:10:00.960 I'm not going to grab you.

00:10:02.020 And we've all seen it where an officer or a citizen rushes up on a building or onto a

00:10:07.220 bridge or something and grabs someone and pulls them over.

00:10:09.220 Fantastic.

00:10:09.880 Great.

00:10:11.040 But I want to go deeper.

00:10:12.880 I want that individual to come back over that rail on their own.

00:10:16.640 Because imagine the courage that it takes to go over that rail to begin with.

00:10:20.260 Now, think and imagine the courage that it takes to come back over that rail.

00:10:25.980 Yeah.

00:10:26.620 So if you have the courage to come back over the rail, you have the courage to fight and

00:10:30.220 continue on.

00:10:32.040 And that's my process on that.

00:10:33.860 And has it ever happened where you've gone up and you have started a conversation, didn't

00:10:37.900 listen to you and they jumped off?

00:10:38.940 Has that happened right in front of you?

00:10:40.700 Yes.

00:10:41.280 Yes.

00:10:41.920 Unfortunately, yes.

00:10:44.080 How?

00:10:44.640 They just want some time to really get it into their head.

00:10:48.580 And yeah.

00:10:50.480 Anybody ever makes it?

00:10:51.820 I remember I saw one story where one gentleman made it.

00:10:54.520 Did you ever have any stories of people making it or no?

00:10:57.820 Yes.

00:10:58.720 I did have a guy that made it, but I was not there when he jumped.

00:11:01.940 I was actually busy with another case.

00:11:03.460 So I met him in the hospital.

00:11:05.860 So they're very, very few.

00:11:08.280 And usually if they do make it, they have substantial injuries also.

00:11:12.340 When you're there and those who jumped, what was the tipping point that got them to jump?

00:11:19.840 I'm sure there's a commonality amongst those who jump.

00:11:23.880 And then after they jump, do you see a reaction from them the moment they let go?

00:11:27.580 Usually when they let go, my heart breaks.

00:11:35.060 I start tearing up a lot of times.

00:11:37.060 It just messes you up.

00:11:39.260 You know, it's horrible when you're there.

00:11:40.340 So what I teach folks now for negotiators is not to look because that fall, that's what's going to be in your head.

00:11:47.860 So when I talk to negotiators and those who do this type of work, I tell them if it's inevitable or that person all of a sudden leaps on you, don't look down and watch that body.

00:11:57.180 Oh, my gosh.

00:11:58.160 Wow.

00:11:58.560 I did the times when I worked because I wanted to watch, well, really not watch, but mark that body because it's so treacherous down there with the currents.

00:12:08.140 So we have markers that we throw and all that, but that's what's in my head, not talking to that individual, but that jump and that hit.

00:12:16.640 And that's what's going to mess people up later on down the line.

00:12:20.720 You know, you see a lot as an officer and paramedics and things that's in your head.

00:12:26.360 And we need to be able to continue to work and do the work that we want to do.

00:12:30.180 So, Kevin, out of all the people that jumped, were majority men or women?

00:12:37.900 Men.

00:12:38.940 More men.

00:12:40.120 How about out of the 200 that are suicidal to take their lives, what percentage would you say are men, male versus female?

00:12:47.920 Oh, I would say at least 95%.

00:12:51.360 Oh, you got to be kidding me.

00:12:52.680 So majority is only men who are.

00:12:54.640 So what does that tell you from your study is the fact that men are more willing to commit suicide jumping off a bridge?

00:13:01.520 Is there anything to that data or it's just accidental that it's 95-5?

00:13:06.700 No, I think it really is.

00:13:08.740 It's guys, because we don't come out and talk about what's going on with us.

00:13:12.640 There's a whole variety of things.

00:13:14.120 We think we're the breadwinners.

00:13:15.340 We think we can fix everything.

00:13:16.940 We don't need help.

00:13:18.480 I can handle this on my own.

00:13:20.060 And then it becomes too much.

00:13:22.300 And you don't want to seek help.

00:13:24.040 And you're only out, you feel, is giving up your life.

00:13:31.580 95-5.

00:13:32.860 Would you have ever guessed it's 95-5?

00:13:34.340 I would have never guessed it's 95-5.

00:13:36.720 What were some of the things like you would hear?

00:13:39.460 For example, is it, I lost my job.

00:13:42.800 I lost all my saving.

00:13:43.920 My wife is leaving me. 1.00

00:13:45.140 My kids don't want to see me anymore.

00:13:46.640 I can't give up drugs.

00:13:48.260 What stories were the most common stories you heard that got them to that point?

00:13:52.100 All of that.

00:13:52.740 It's all of that.

00:13:53.780 Once in a while, it's a criminal act that they did.

00:13:57.800 I remember one individual who jumped before we even got there.

00:14:00.840 He had a sheet in his pocket.

00:14:02.360 He had just got out of county jail from being booked in for child abuse.

00:14:06.300 So he didn't want to have to go through that with his family and everything.

00:14:09.800 He came right up to the bridge and jumped.

00:14:11.700 But the three things that I dealt with most of the time was folks felt like they were a burden.

00:14:17.500 They suffered from a mental illness, whether diagnosed or not.

00:14:21.320 And if they had been taking a medication for a mental illness, they stopped it sometimes prior or sometime prior.

00:14:27.900 And that's huge if you stop that medication.

00:14:29.940 We always hear, don't stop any medication that you're on.

00:14:32.940 I mean, especially true with mental illness.

00:14:35.240 Consult your doctor.

00:14:36.380 There's side effects with all of this.

00:14:38.360 I've been diagnosed with depression.

00:14:40.020 I've been through several therapies and medications.

00:14:42.700 You know, some work.

00:14:43.620 Some aren't that slick.

00:14:45.080 But they also have side effects and things, too.

00:14:48.580 So many times, it's the folks who have been suffering for a long time.

00:14:53.220 They've just had enough.

00:14:54.300 They're emotionally exhausted, and they can't see a way out.

00:14:57.820 They cannot see a way out of what's been going on with them.

00:15:01.060 What gets them to come back over?

00:15:03.220 And how long is that process?

00:15:04.560 Meaning, like, from the moment you say, hi, I'm Officer Briggs.

00:15:10.320 You mind if I come up and speak with you?

00:15:12.540 I'm not going to touch you.

00:15:13.680 I'm not going to get close.

00:15:14.740 I just want to speak with you.

00:15:16.380 And then you start the dialogue with them.

00:15:18.380 What's generally the timeline from you start talking to them to them coming back and not wanting to take their lives?

00:15:24.300 You know, I would say generally an hour or so.

00:15:27.080 I've had it as low as 20 minutes.

00:15:29.880 I had one that was a little over eight hours.

00:15:33.160 On average, it's an hour?

00:15:36.180 Yes.

00:15:36.680 And when that hour is done, you're drained.

00:15:38.980 You're beat.

00:15:39.620 You're exhausted.

00:15:40.420 I bet.

00:15:41.140 I mean, I bet.

00:15:41.920 And how about the eight hour?

00:15:43.220 You said six hours or eight hours?

00:15:45.260 Eight hours.

00:15:46.340 Yeah.

00:15:46.700 What case was that?

00:15:47.680 Why did it go eight hours?

00:15:48.900 What was the challenge of that individual?

00:15:50.620 Um, I was working with the Marin County Sheriff Deputy on that when we would trade back and forth.

00:15:57.360 And this gentleman was a construction worker and construction workers have a high rate of suicide because of the seasonal thing and the high use of drugs and alcohol and everything involved in that.

00:16:08.480 But he would start to come back and then he didn't want to.

00:16:12.720 He would go back.

00:16:13.520 He was he had issues with his wife, money issues, all these different things going on.

00:16:19.640 So it just took a very, very long time.

00:16:21.860 Now, on top of this, working on this bridge, we generally do not stop the traffic.

00:16:25.320 So you got the cars going by.

00:16:27.060 You got the noise.

00:16:28.080 It's very noisy.

00:16:29.060 It's a really lousy place to conduct these negotiations, plus the wind and it's always cold.

00:16:37.120 It's a tough one.

00:16:38.240 It really is.

00:16:39.920 But this that gentleman did eventually come back over the rail and then we take them to one of the local hospitals to get evaluated.

00:16:48.180 Is it a crime?

00:16:49.520 Is it considered a crime or no?

00:16:51.120 Are they getting arrested?

00:16:52.060 Are they taken in or no?

00:16:53.960 And that's a great question.

00:16:55.100 I like to talk about this one.

00:16:56.440 No, it is not a crime here in the United States.

00:17:00.020 In some countries, it is.

00:17:01.240 To attempt suicide, it is a crime, but not here.

00:17:03.480 And this is what I tell folks.

00:17:04.680 And I think this is very, very important.

00:17:07.520 You see people suffering from mental illness and then law enforcement comes out and that individual is handcuffed and people get all up in a roar about this.

00:17:14.760 But I want to tell you something that folks need to hear.

00:17:17.460 And what I would do is I would tell the individual in dealing with them when they were over this rail or wherever I'm at on the bridge.

00:17:26.440 That, especially, let's just say over the rail.

00:17:29.580 When you come back over, not if, but when you come back over, I have to place you in handcuffs.

00:17:35.120 And that's only for your safety and our policy.

00:17:38.300 That's all it is.

00:17:39.240 You're not under arrest.

00:17:40.320 You haven't done anything wrong.

00:17:41.460 So, most of the time, they have not done anything wrong.

00:17:45.320 They don't have a warrant.

00:17:46.600 So, if they come back over, I have already discussed it with them.

00:17:49.160 I've never had an issue after discussing it with an individual.

00:17:52.460 Let me get this straight.

00:17:53.200 So, I'm on the individuals on the verge of jumping.

00:17:55.820 I'm on the other side, not back where I'm safe.

00:17:59.200 While I'm on the other side, you tell me I'm going to bring you over and I'm going to handcuff you and they agree to it.

00:18:04.600 I said, when you come back over, because they want to know what happens.

00:18:08.220 Because now, if they think that they're in trouble, that just compounds everything.

00:18:12.760 They think if they do come back over, now they're going to go to jail.

00:18:15.120 Now that's more money.

00:18:16.080 That's time away.

00:18:16.880 The embarrassment and everything else.

00:18:18.660 I'm going to knock all that down.

00:18:21.860 And you know what?

00:18:22.840 Here's what's going to happen.

00:18:24.020 When you come back over, first, I congratulate you and talk with you for a minute.

00:18:26.820 And then I have to place you in handcuffs. 1.00

00:18:28.960 That's only because it's our policy.

00:18:31.100 But really, they're in my hands now.

00:18:34.080 I'm responsible for them.

00:18:35.560 So, let's say if I didn't put them in handcuffs and I put them in a patrol car and we start driving them down to San Francisco General and we're going 60 miles down the road.

00:18:44.100 And they think, you know what?

00:18:45.980 I don't want to do this.

00:18:46.940 I really should have jumped or whatever.

00:18:49.240 Boom.

00:18:49.700 Now they're free to kick out the window and jump out the car at 60 miles an hour.

00:18:52.780 Whereas if I have them in handcuffs, I have that time to pull over, at least slow down a lot.

00:18:58.360 So, it is all about their safety.

00:19:00.660 But I explained this to them.

00:19:01.960 And since I've been doing that, I've never had an issue.

00:19:05.920 Kevin, since you've been doing this and you've gone through a few hundred of these, do you agree with the current law on what to do after somebody is suicidal?

00:19:15.680 Or would you ever change it?

00:19:17.660 Would you change it like they go get checked out and then the people let them go and they go about their business?

00:19:23.040 Would you change the approach?

00:19:25.020 Maybe they stay somewhere for a week.

00:19:26.700 Maybe the timeline has got to be longer.

00:19:28.720 What would you say?

00:19:29.620 Because I guess the main thing is, you know, the whole, what is the word they use for people who go to jail, they get out and they get back in again?

00:19:37.580 Recivitism? 0.51

00:19:38.740 Right.

00:19:39.040 So, how often have you seen people who are suicidal, they come, they leave, and they come back and they want to commit to suicide anyways because they didn't get the proper help they needed?

00:19:50.240 And that does happen, unfortunately.

00:19:53.520 I would just hope and pray that the individuals looking at them really take this into consideration.

00:19:59.740 They're there for a reason.

00:20:01.100 You know, once in a while we get these folks who know the process and they're going to go over the rail just because they know we're going to respond.

00:20:07.600 And they'll get three hots and a cot and out of the cold and out of the wet and the rain and all.

00:20:12.260 But the vast majority of time, these are folks who are suffering greatly.

00:20:15.840 And if they decide to live that day, we get them past this crisis, boom, we want to get them some help.

00:20:22.680 But it is difficult.

00:20:23.800 You know, there's not a lot of money put into mental health.

00:20:27.940 We need more funding for this, for folks to have access.

00:20:32.220 Sometimes they're waiting two months to get an appointment with a mental health professional.

00:20:35.620 I mean, that's not right.

00:20:36.440 If you're in crisis, we need to get help now, you know, and to build this and make this a stronger system.

00:20:42.280 And was there ever anybody that was jumping who was extremely successful financially, well-off, and, you know, money wasn't the issue for them?

00:20:50.200 Or was everybody that you spoke to, they were all dealing with financial difficulties?

00:20:55.620 No, it varied.

00:20:57.500 I've had rich folks, poor folks.

00:21:00.160 It doesn't even matter.

00:21:01.520 It matters what had been going on with them.

00:21:03.520 And now, of course, I've seen folks who had a lot of money and lost it.

00:21:07.300 And they think that now they're in embarrassment.

00:21:09.960 They're not going to be able to keep up with the Jones.

00:21:11.420 They're losing their Mercedes.

00:21:12.780 Their kids can't go to private school.

00:21:14.780 They think they've lost it that way.

00:21:17.260 But I talked to them, and I remember speaking with one guy who was big in the financial district, and he lost mutual funds.

00:21:24.980 He was a mutual fund manager, and he had lost people's money.

00:21:28.580 And he was about to lose his home and everything else.

00:21:32.600 He's up over the rail, and I'm talking to him, and we're talking about this.

00:21:36.540 And I go, well, he talked a lot about his wife and how disappointed she's going to be and everything else, and how he loved her and she did love him.

00:21:45.280 And I said, well, what if this was reversed?

00:21:46.840 What if she was over the rail?

00:21:48.240 What would you say to her?

00:21:50.040 And he thought about this for a while, and I think that was the statement that got him to come back.

00:21:54.240 And then his wife actually met us at the bridge because he had called her.

00:21:58.980 Wow.

00:21:59.680 Very thankful.

00:22:00.600 Wow.

00:22:01.560 Okay.

00:22:02.680 So sometimes I use this reversal if I think that that may work.

00:22:07.980 And it did that day.

00:22:09.420 Kevin, what else have you used that's not what the FBI taught you?

00:22:12.440 That's part of your game plan that you use that's been very effective?

00:22:15.660 Silence, actually, taking a step back, giving folks time to think about things, because I think if I was over that rail, my mind's going to be a thousand different places, and I'm not going to hear everything if somebody's trying to talk to me.

00:22:30.100 Maybe I don't want to hear it, but I talk a lot slower than I do right now because I think their mind is racing.

00:22:36.380 And then I tell them after some time, hey, I'm going to take a step back about 10 feet and give you some time to think about everything, but I'm only going to do so if you promise me not to do anything before I come back up here.

00:22:48.800 And if they say, yes, we have this verbal agreement, not that that means anything, but I've never lost them this way.

00:22:54.400 And I'll take a step back and just let them think about things.

00:22:57.400 And that has really, really helped.

00:23:00.340 Folks, it gives them a chance to take a breather, knowing that I'm not there.

00:23:03.960 Because there's always, I think, if somebody's over that rail, they're always thinking, okay, when is this guy going to reach out and grab me, even though I tell them I won't.

00:23:10.840 But give them a break.

00:23:11.940 Give them some time to think.

00:23:13.920 Have you had anybody in your own?

00:23:14.920 Because my question becomes, why do you have a heart for this?

00:23:17.860 Has there anybody in your family that's taken their lives or no?

00:23:21.660 Yes, there's mental illness in my family.

00:23:23.820 My grandfather lost his life to suicide.

00:23:27.600 I have a son who battles with depression, who was suicidal, who was engaging in non-suicidal self-injury.

00:23:33.740 What we used to refer to as cutting.

00:23:36.480 So this is tough stuff.

00:23:38.240 And myself, having gone through this, and it's hard to understand unless you go through it.

00:23:44.300 It's one of those things.

00:23:45.640 But to be inside the house and not want to go out and sit on a couch for days at a time and not want to do anything.

00:23:52.520 And in your head, you kind of think, I'm not productive.

00:23:55.040 I'm not doing anything.

00:23:56.300 Why is this?

00:23:57.480 I don't have the energy to get up and do things.

00:23:59.560 I don't even want to wash clothes.

00:24:00.700 I don't want to go to the grocery store.

00:24:02.120 I don't answer the phone.

00:24:05.560 You know, this is brutal stuff.

00:24:08.900 So if I can help in any way, I'm going to.

00:24:12.300 And now I want to get to folks long before they get up to this bridge or put a gun to their head or on top of a building.

00:24:18.040 Let's get to folks now.

00:24:19.720 What point is that?

00:24:21.300 So, you know, to me, you know, you're having your life.

00:24:24.200 You're going through challenges.

00:24:25.260 Boom.

00:24:25.400 Then all of a sudden, you start having problems, problems.

00:24:27.300 And you haven't thought about it yet.

00:24:28.480 Then all of a sudden, you're like, you know what?

00:24:30.520 Screw it.

00:24:30.940 Is life really worth it?

00:24:32.040 What's the purpose of life?

00:24:33.120 What am I really doing?

00:24:33.880 And then you're getting through.

00:24:34.980 What have you noticed is the tipping point to prevent them from going to the next level?

00:24:38.980 Not even getting on the bridge, like you said.

00:24:41.940 Right.

00:24:42.060 It's that you have to want.

00:24:44.500 Number one thing, in my opinion only, people may disagree, but you have to want to get better.

00:24:49.560 That's the thing.

00:24:50.480 You have to be able to recognize this or at least be willing to speak about it and have folks talk to you and say, hey, Kevin, I've been noticing this.

00:24:56.900 You've been staying inside all the time.

00:24:58.840 You're not answering.

00:24:59.560 We used to go out for coffee.

00:25:00.620 Like right now, with guys, I go out for coffee at least three times a week with some friends, and we all sit around and talk about all sorts of different subjects.

00:25:08.780 For men, women do this most of the time already. 1.00

00:25:11.780 For guys, it is so, so important to have this.

00:25:15.320 And sometimes it's hard to make the time to do that.

00:25:18.520 But it is so, so important to get out and have these chats.

00:25:21.740 And we're not just talking about mental illness.

00:25:24.880 We're talking about everything, sports, hunting, fishing, cars, whatever it may be, just to get out of that.

00:25:30.800 That is huge.

00:25:31.440 But you have to recognize it for yourself.

00:25:33.200 I have this quality of life triad I developed.

00:25:36.500 And it starts with ourself on the top because many of us, we give, give, give, give, give.

00:25:42.480 But we don't see what's going on with us.

00:25:44.520 We fail to see that or what's going on with our families.

00:25:47.020 So we need to at least put ourself equal with what we're doing with folks.

00:25:52.940 And if you use at the top, what are the other two?

00:25:56.360 So we have myself at the top, and then we have professional care.

00:25:59.980 And I'm not just talking psychologists and psychiatrists, anybody in profession, whether

00:26:04.180 that's a yoga instructor, a health instructor of some sort.

00:26:07.900 I took a keto for years with my boys because they're half Japanese. 1.00

00:26:11.520 And that a keto instructor, you know, life coach, anybody in that realm.

00:26:17.260 And then also your support system, your friends, your family, social media, that kind of stuff.

00:26:22.820 So between all of that, it's the building blocks for you on the top.

00:26:28.160 Kevin, what was your tipping point where you got into the hole and you were depressed?

00:26:35.580 And, you know, and in that state of mind, are you feeling helpless?

00:26:39.600 Are you feeling like there's no way in the world I can get out?

00:26:41.740 Maybe you help us understand since you're saying if you've never been in it, you will

00:26:44.620 know about it.

00:26:45.420 What was your experience like?

00:26:47.100 It is when you find that you just don't want to do anything.

00:26:51.040 You used to, maybe you like to go fishing a lot, or maybe you're into hot rods, whatever

00:26:54.980 it is, and you're not finding joy in those things that you used to find joy in.

00:27:00.180 Go to the doctor, find out what's going on.

00:27:02.080 I went to my regular physician and I told him, I go, doc, I think stuff is passing me

00:27:06.860 by here.

00:27:07.400 I'm just not feeling like, like I used to, you know, a long time ago.

00:27:11.380 So he had me take this test and it's called the PHQ nine patient health questionnaire nine

00:27:18.260 and many, many places use this.

00:27:20.180 And it's, it's a test, just nine questions.

00:27:22.720 And you take this to see if you may have depression.

00:27:27.080 So I took this test that it's only takes a couple of minutes.

00:27:30.300 He walked in the room with this.

00:27:31.660 He's holding this and he goes, Kevin, you have depression.

00:27:35.260 How do you feel about this?

00:27:36.700 And mind you, I've had heart issues.

00:27:38.140 I got three stents in my heart.

00:27:39.460 We talked about the cancer, that's some brain injuries and then a divorce and the, and all

00:27:44.880 the other stuff.

00:27:45.740 So I'm thinking depression on top of all this, but that's when we talked about some medications

00:27:51.240 and some different avenues of approach.

00:27:53.800 So that's a start.

00:27:55.560 And it's okay, well, let's, let's work on this.

00:27:58.240 Put yourself on top for a while.

00:27:59.880 I'm looking at the questions right now.

00:28:02.340 I found the PHQ nine test on MD, uh, CALC, uh, dot com.

00:28:08.180 First one is little interest or pleasure in doing things.

00:28:11.700 Not at all.

00:28:12.360 Several days, more than half the days, nearly every days.

00:28:15.560 Second question, feeling down, depressed, or hopeless.

00:28:18.580 Not at all.

00:28:19.360 Several days, same, same thing again.

00:28:21.040 Number three, trouble falling or staying asleep or sleeping too much, feeling tired or having

00:28:28.000 little energy, poor appetite or overeating, feeling bad about yourself or that you are

00:28:33.900 a failure or have let yourself or your family down.

00:28:37.040 Trouble concentrating on things such as reading the newspaper or watching television, moving or

00:28:42.760 speaking so slowly that other people could have noticed, or so fidgety or restless that you have

00:28:48.660 been moving a lot more than usual.

00:28:50.560 And last but not least, thoughts that you have, you would be better off dead or thoughts of hurting 0.98

00:28:55.780 yourself in some way. 0.99

00:28:57.600 Huh.

00:28:58.600 Interesting list of questions.

00:28:59.800 So those nine gives a doctor an idea of whether you're depressed or not.

00:29:04.340 It can truly help.

00:29:05.720 Yes.

00:29:06.160 How are you doing?

00:29:07.080 So just those nine questions, you know, I highly recommend that to folks to see how are

00:29:11.800 you doing?

00:29:13.020 What role did church play?

00:29:15.580 Because I think you have one disappointment that you had with a church.

00:29:18.780 If you don't mind sharing that with us.

00:29:20.780 Sure.

00:29:21.400 Well, I lost my mother to cancer and she was just 49 years old when she passed.

00:29:27.640 I was in my late twenties.

00:29:28.720 And I was raised Catholic.

00:29:31.820 I went to a Catholic school and, you know, every week going to church, my dad would be

00:29:37.800 on the pulpit speaking.

00:29:38.880 He raised a lot of money for our local church.

00:29:41.220 He was, he was big into it, but my mother was not Catholic.

00:29:45.100 She was Protestant.

00:29:47.420 When she passed away, the church, Catholic church would not allow her to have a mass in

00:29:53.420 the church.

00:29:53.880 And I'm thinking my dad put four kids through this school.

00:29:56.820 He has raised more money than anybody else for this church.

00:30:00.520 He's done so much and you're not going to allow this.

00:30:02.720 What kind of church?

00:30:04.100 What is this?

00:30:04.840 I was so angry, so angry.

00:30:06.900 And actually since then, when I've told this story, I have had quite a few Catholic priests

00:30:11.200 come up and apologize to me.

00:30:13.100 One guy actually gave me an even a little medal and he says, I'm so sorry.

00:30:16.980 He goes, that would not happen nowadays.

00:30:18.360 But I was so angry and disappointed in the church.

00:30:22.640 What year was this, Kevin?

00:30:24.260 If it's, you were 20, 20, you said 25, you were 25 or she was 49.

00:30:29.340 She was, she was age 49 and it happened.

00:30:32.580 She died in 1989.

00:30:34.820 Yeah.

00:30:35.260 Just at age 49.

00:30:37.660 And it was brutal watching someone die of cancer.

00:30:40.100 We saw her take her last breath.

00:30:41.700 I closed her eyes.

00:30:42.900 It's, it's tough.

00:30:44.540 What would you say to somebody that's watching right now, you know, who is, you know, I guess

00:30:50.700 I would want to go through a couple of different people.

00:30:52.760 One would be, you know, you're going about your life.

00:30:57.140 You're going a million miles an hour.

00:30:58.880 Things are you trying to pay the bills.

00:31:00.360 You're trying to stay, be a good brother, good sister, good husband, good wife, good,

00:31:05.200 you know, parent.

00:31:07.180 You're trying to be a good employee.

00:31:08.780 You're just trying to have some fun, keep your friendships.

00:31:11.740 You don't notice what everybody's going through.

00:31:13.920 What are some signs you see of people around you and what approach should the individual

00:31:18.040 take if there's anybody around them that's kind of acting a little different than they

00:31:20.900 usually would?

00:31:22.160 What signs should we look for?

00:31:23.820 I would say watch for talk, behavior, and mood.

00:31:26.860 When someone talks to you, or are they coming out with what they used to do?

00:31:31.000 Are their activities different?

00:31:32.420 And not everybody's suicidal.

00:31:33.700 We know this.

00:31:34.320 Maybe they're just going through a tough time, but let's find out.

00:31:37.040 Or are they talking about, well, you don't have to worry about me next week.

00:31:40.260 I'm, you know, nothing's, everything's going to be fine.

00:31:42.360 Are they going on vacation or are they talking about killing themselves?

00:31:46.160 So talking about it, what's their behavior?

00:31:48.700 Are they sleeping a lot more or a lot less?

00:31:52.560 And I think people in a lot of emotional pain, what I've seen is they sleep a lot or they

00:31:58.700 abuse alcohol or drugs because when they're doing that, they're not in that state of mind,

00:32:03.840 you know, especially sleeping, then they're not in this pain.

00:32:08.400 So talk behavior and mood.

00:32:10.640 They seem like they are depressed with their behaviors.

00:32:14.400 Are they giving away belongings?

00:32:15.600 Hey, I know you've liked this, this one particular fishing rod, man, I'm going to give this to you.

00:32:19.320 Why are you doing that?

00:32:20.280 This is your favorite rod and what are they doing?

00:32:23.860 If they're talking about feeling hopeless or being a burden to their friends or their family.

00:32:30.480 So things like this, we look at that, the TBM, the talk behavior and mood.

00:32:34.840 Do they seem depressed?

00:32:36.860 What are their actions compared to what they used to be?

00:32:38.960 Do they seem happy?

00:32:40.320 Do they not want to come out of the house or not answering my texts or my calls?

00:32:44.340 Well, we used to get together twice a week for lunch and we haven't done that.

00:32:47.700 Now you're, you're making excuses or you're not even answering the phone at all.

00:32:51.840 How are you doing now?

00:32:54.520 Better.

00:32:55.200 I try to stay busy.

00:32:57.060 And if I get into this bout of, of depression or something that may last some time,

00:33:03.120 the thing is, I know that it will pass.

00:33:06.880 And also I know that there's things that I can do.

00:33:10.080 I have two little chihuahuas, my first small dogs ever.

00:33:12.620 They're a blast.

00:33:13.500 I tell folks just by petting your dogs, 10 minutes a day can, can take a lot of stress out of your life.

00:33:18.580 Some folks like cats or whatever you got, you know, if you're into horses and I know by stepping outside by, all right,

00:33:25.300 I got to take these dogs out for a walk.

00:33:27.100 I may be in a funk, but I take these dogs out for a walk and may have a great time.

00:33:31.240 And you're getting out in that sun, you're getting that vitamin D.

00:33:33.940 So I got a technical question for you.

00:33:35.920 Do, do, and I want you to be as honest as possible.

00:33:38.280 Do, do people who like cats concern you?

00:33:45.940 I had a cat.

00:33:47.480 They're, they're destroyers, curtains, couches.

00:33:50.840 That cat cost me over $2,000.

00:33:53.540 It's funny because when I present, I put up a picture of my dog and then I put up a picture of one of those,

00:33:58.020 I'm going to say ugly cats, all wrinkled and all that hairless. 0.60

00:34:01.400 It says, I like cats.

00:34:02.880 There's got to be some humor here somewhere in this whole presentation because it's a tough one.

00:34:08.280 If cats are your thing, then that's all right.

00:34:10.860 But it is.

00:34:11.440 I mean, you know, I grew up with a grandma who had 12 cats, two dogs, two birds, two parrots, two snakes.

00:34:19.800 And my dad, my dad cannot stand animals.

00:34:24.440 And that's his mom.

00:34:26.160 So his mom loves animals.

00:34:28.860 My dad hates animals, but my dad's kids love animals.

00:34:34.880 So he's in the middle.

00:34:36.000 He's in a bad situation.

00:34:37.080 It's just a bad place to be because he's got two sets of enemies.

00:34:40.860 One is above and one is below him.

00:34:42.660 He's not in a good place to be.

00:34:44.800 But I agree.

00:34:45.500 You know, animals do have a big, play a very important role.

00:34:50.040 You know, when you, when they say dog is a man's best friend, you know, that's a, last night I come home from New York,

00:34:56.480 I land and it's midnight by the time I come home, I'm downstairs in my office at midnight doing a quick zoom till one o'clock in the morning.

00:35:02.160 My two dogs are sitting right there next to me, just waiting right next to me.

00:35:07.000 And they, they don't say anything.

00:35:08.220 They just follow Steve, but they're with me while I'm doing my conference call.

00:35:11.540 And somehow, some way they help me come with better content while I'm doing the conference call because they're just around you.

00:35:16.780 There's something special.

00:35:18.560 That's fun.

00:35:19.180 I do that same thing.

00:35:20.240 I have this bed behind me.

00:35:21.520 This is the spare bedroom.

00:35:22.420 And usually my two dogs will, they'll be on the bed here waiting the whole time, but I didn't want them barking.

00:35:26.920 What kind of dogs you got?

00:35:28.040 What kind of dogs you got?

00:35:28.980 One's a, one's a rescue.

00:35:30.820 That's right.

00:35:31.060 Yeah.

00:35:32.040 And wow.

00:35:32.740 What a neat, neat dog.

00:35:34.260 So sweet.

00:35:35.080 Both temperamental.

00:35:36.040 Like if I put my hand out, they're going to bite my hand or no.

00:35:37.980 Cause Chihuahuas have a bad temper. 1.00

00:35:39.860 They do.

00:35:40.480 But once they know you, oh my God, you never been licked so much.

00:35:43.180 You never had to shower. 0.99

00:35:44.180 They just lick you. 1.00

00:35:44.940 They lick you all day long. 0.97

00:35:45.900 It's so much fun. 0.99

00:35:46.720 To be honest with you, I think Chihuahuas need to go get therapy.

00:35:49.680 They probably need to sit down with somebody because I think they're dealing with some kind of depression or something.

00:35:53.920 Most Chihuahuas, I think maybe the most depressed temperamental dogs I've met in my life.

00:35:58.640 Like even they'll look at you if you get close to them, but I bet they're probably protective of you.

00:36:03.000 So they'll protect you.

00:36:03.980 They just don't like to do what you do.

00:36:05.440 And they do.

00:36:06.260 They're funny.

00:36:07.100 It's my first small dogs ever.

00:36:08.340 I've always had labs and, and Weimaraners and different things.

00:36:11.520 I got, I got two massive 10 pound Shih Tzus. 1.00

00:36:15.580 Okay.

00:36:15.860 But I have, I have very intimidating, you know, and they sit right next to me.

00:36:19.620 They look like big cats is what they look like.

00:36:22.260 That's, that's what I'm dealing with.

00:36:23.860 Well, well, Sarge, I got to tell you, you know, I, I also have had people in my personal life that struggle with this.

00:36:30.700 And it's unfortunate because you, you, you, one of the toughest things to do is somebody who says certain words just because they want a lot of attention.

00:36:40.700 Hey, I'm going to take my life.

00:36:42.480 They're not going to do it, but they want attention.

00:36:44.160 And then those who are doing it and they're not kidding with you.

00:36:47.020 They're going to, there's the psychological torture of when family and loved ones also use form of suicide to immobilize their family.

00:36:56.140 There's very different dynamics there as well, because you're always going to sleep worrying about what's going to be taking place.

00:37:02.200 But I think, I think it's a topic that we've got to talk about a lot because there's more people who are on this side that are sincerely not thinking their lives are worth it.

00:37:11.240 And, you know, one of the most common stories you hear is when a person is about to jump, they'll say the guy, the, the, the, I don't know how many people it is that jumped who made it off the Bay bridge or the, the, the bridge in San Francisco, the golden gate.

00:37:22.700 Who say afterwards, from the moment I let go, I already regretted my decision.

00:37:27.900 The moment I let go, I already regretted the decision and half the time is speaking to people like you.

00:37:34.120 So for you to have saved those 200 people's lives, you're a hero and I appreciate your service.

00:37:39.500 Thank you, sir.

00:37:40.380 Thank you very, very much.

00:37:41.940 It's, it's absolute pleasure speaking with you.

00:37:45.340 The pleasure is all mine.

00:37:46.640 The pleasure is all mine.

00:37:47.460 Thank you so much for making the time for coming and being a guest on Valuetainment.

00:37:51.160 Yes, sir.

00:37:51.840 Thank you.

00:37:52.260 Take care.

00:37:53.840 One decision away from jumping off a golden gate bridge and you have this man here, Sergeant Kevin Briggs, who comes and has a conversation with them, saves nearly 200 people's lives.

00:38:02.160 Think about how many people right now are going through challenges.

00:38:04.100 You know, I did a video a couple of years ago, not even a couple of years ago.

00:38:07.020 This has got to be six years ago, titled How I Dealt with Anxiety and Panic Attacks.

00:38:11.700 For a couple of years, I went through it myself.

00:38:13.840 So if you've never seen this video, click over here.

00:38:15.440 There was a period, all I was reading was to understand what is the difference between anxiety attack, panic attack,

00:38:22.260 depression, you know, living in the future, living in the past.

00:38:25.880 How do you get into living in the present?

00:38:27.280 There was a formula I needed to get for me to calm my nerves and it worked for me.

00:38:31.760 If you enjoyed the interview, you may also enjoy this video I did six years ago.

00:38:35.340 Having said that, if you enjoyed, also subscribe to our channel.

00:38:37.640 Take care, everybody.

00:38:38.340 Bye-bye.

Valuetainment - June 23, 2021

Cop Who Saved 200 Lives on the Golden Gate Bridge Opens Up

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript