Insecurities are the glue that holds us together and keeps us going through life. Insecurities can be physical, emotional, and even sexual insecurities, and if you don t address them, they can haunt you and keep you from living your best life.
00:00:00.00030 seconds. One time for the underdog. Ignition sequence start. Let me see you put them up. Reach the sky, touch the stars up above. Cause it's one time for the underdog. One time for the underdog.
00:00:17.300I'm Patrick Bedevi, your host of Entertainment and today we're going to talk about how to overcome insecurities as an entrepreneur.
00:00:23.660Listen, if there's one thing I can tell you is I see a lot of people that don't grow past a certain level because they have certain inner insecurities that nobody knows about.
00:00:31.540Let me explain to you what insecurities are to you. You ever have that one dream, the nightmare that you read about in these dream books?
00:00:38.520And this nightmare is the one that, you know, this bad guy's coming after you and no matter how much you try to move, you can't even move.
00:00:44.260You know which one I'm talking about? Like you're trying to run, your legs don't move. It's almost as if they're glued to the ground, right?
00:00:48.600You know what I'm saying? You ever had that nightmare before? So your insecurities are the glue.
00:00:54.800If you don't address your insecurities, you don't feel you can get away from the nightmare and live your dreams.
00:01:01.580In this episode, I'm going to speak to you about the different kind of insecurities we all have and how to address them.
00:01:11.360So, you know, a lot of times we see somebody that's very successful and you say, oh my gosh, this guy must have zero insecurities.
00:01:17.140He must be 100% confident. Look at the way he talks. Here's the reality of it.
00:01:22.120There's not a single person in the world that doesn't have any insecurities.
00:01:26.220Even the best looking Brad Pitt, Ryan Gosling, whatever these actresses that you see, Margot Robbie, they all have certain insecurities.
00:01:34.700Matter of fact, here's a weird thing to be thinking about.
00:01:37.020Over the years, I've met a lot of beautiful women.
00:01:39.700Some of the most insecure women I've met in my life were the hottest ones.
00:01:43.040And by the way, I've partied with a lot of guys as well. We would go out and hang out with them.
00:01:47.140Some of the most insecure men I've ever met were the best looking ones with beautiful bodies, nice faces, and they were still insecure.
00:01:55.680There is a formula for it. If you don't address it, these things can haunt you and you can't even enjoy your life.
00:02:02.200I'm going to talk to you about two different kinds of insecurities and a eight-step process on how to address your insecurities in this video.
00:02:09.020So, first of all, let's address the two different kinds of insecurities that you may have.
00:02:12.000Some of them are going to be physical and some of them are going to be emotional.
00:02:15.380Believe it or not, we think it's the physical ones that have the most consequences in our lives, but it's actually the emotional ones.
00:02:23.560So, let's have some fun for us and talk about the physical ones.
00:02:26.240All right, so quick disclaimer before I get into this physical stuff.
00:02:28.660Some of them I say is going to make you feel uncomfortable because it has to do with you.
00:02:34.080So, if you're ready, I can go into it.
00:02:36.500So, take a deep breath, let it out, and just brace yourself.
00:02:40.760Here's some of the physical things that most of us are insecure with.
00:02:45.140Hands. Some people don't like the size of their hands.
00:02:47.600Stretch marks. Either you gain a lot of weight or you lost a lot of weight.
00:02:50.100But you can get them on your chest, your thighs, your legs.
00:04:13.120I wish Shaq had a size 24. What if I had feet that big?
00:04:17.600Okay, so you okay? Are you still taking a deep breath?
00:04:20.400Or are you just laughing all over the place?
00:04:21.760You're still thinking about the private parts stuff I talked about.
00:04:24.000By the way, everybody has one of those, right? That you thought about.
00:04:26.960Okay, as funny and as true as this may be, this is not even close to what's really holding you
00:04:33.840back. It's the emotional stuff. So let's get into the emotional stuff.
00:04:37.360So one of them is your upbringing. Listen, the way you were raised.
00:04:39.680Maybe you're not happy with the fact that you were raised in a trailer home.
00:04:42.240Or you're not happy about the fact that you grew up in a certain city. There were gangs. Maybe you
00:04:47.040don't like the way your parents raised you. Your mom or your dad. Your dad abused you. Your mom
00:04:50.880abused you. You know, your mom embarrasses you sometimes because of the faults she made. The
00:04:55.200mistakes she made. Your dad, the same way. Maybe you're friends. Maybe you're not proud of your
00:04:58.880friends. Maybe you're not proud of the fact that you don't have friends. Maybe you think all your
00:05:02.720friends are having fun. They don't even want to be around you, right? Maybe your spouse, you're not happy
00:05:06.560with the person you married. Maybe you don't even have a spouse. You wish you had a spouse. Everybody else has a
00:05:10.720boyfriend. Everybody else has a girlfriend, but you don't. And you feel, maybe I'm not good enough.
00:05:14.320You know, maybe I'm not good enough for somebody. Your kids, your family, your nationality. I wish I
00:05:19.360was white. I wish I was Hispanic. I wish I was black. You wish you were something else. Your past. You did
00:05:25.920some stuff in the past you're embarrassed of. You have some past failures. A bad breakup. A bad divorce.
00:05:31.120A past mistake that is absolutely embarrassing that if people found out about it, you'd want to find the
00:05:36.320smallest hole and go hide in it, right? Social anxiety from not wanting to be around
00:05:40.560a lot of people. You like to be by yourself. You're afraid when there's a lot of people. There's a big
00:05:44.080crowd. Maybe you remember certain words said to you by your loved ones. Maybe your mom, dad, husband,
00:05:48.560wife, ex, any of that. Some of these things maybe you relate to. Somebody told you you're stupid.
00:05:53.360You're ugly. You're short. You're slow. You're worthless. You're fat. No one will ever love you.
00:05:59.280No one would ever marry you. You'll never amount to anything. You'll never be able to stop drinking.
00:06:05.040You'll never be anything in your life. Maybe it isn't some of the words. Maybe you had somebody in your
00:06:09.920life that was a perfectionist, a father, a mother that wanted you to win and do everything right.
00:06:14.000Maybe you had a coach, a boss, somebody that expected so much from you. You feel like you
00:06:18.640can't move because your standards are perfection. You feel like you have to do everything perfectly
00:06:23.440right or else you're not worth it. These are some of the things that people struggle with on the
00:06:29.760emotional side. Maybe even you're watching this right now. You're telling yourself, man, these are some
00:06:33.840of the things I've dealt with. And let me tell you, it hurts me. It scarred me. It's difficult to even
00:06:38.080listen to it. I understand, but you are not alone. We all have them. We all have physical. We all have
00:06:44.960emotional. And you have to sit down at one point and address them in order to put it behind you
00:06:50.240so you can move on and live the life that you want to live. So if you're listening to this stuff and
00:06:53.760you're telling yourself, Pat, this is painful, man. I relate to some of this stuff. Yeah, that hurt me.
00:06:58.400My mom did say something like that. My dad did say something like that. I feel like you have to be
00:07:02.240perfect. You don't know the way I was raised. I understand. Here's the reality. I have insecurities.
00:07:09.440Some are physical. Some are emotional. You have insecurities. Some are physical. Some are emotional.
00:07:16.400No one's going to be insecurity 100% free. Everyone's going to have a little bit of it.
00:07:21.680But you've got to address it. And if you keep hiding it and not addressing it, life ain't going to change
00:07:26.560much for you. So hopefully in this video, you're actually going to follow some of these formulas that I'm
00:07:31.280going to give to you and start questioning some of these things and see if we can get rid of some
00:07:35.680of them and fix some of them. Fair enough? Having said that, let's get to the next part of this video.
00:07:40.080Number one. So you just heard me make a list of insecurities, both physical and emotional.
00:07:44.080Some of you may say, well, I relate to this one, a little bit of this for me, all this other stuff.
00:07:48.320No matter what it is that you have, the first thing you need to do to address your insecurities
00:07:52.000is actually make a list of them. Literally make a list of them. I've been told I'm ugly. I've been told I'm short.
00:07:59.360I've been told, whatever it is, make a list. Your list. Write them down.
00:08:03.520Okay? Once you do that, you've got to ask yourself three questions about each one of them.
00:08:08.960Here's how simple the questions are. Number one, is it true? Number two, is it partially true?
00:08:16.240Number three, is it absolutely wrong? Okay? Once you answer that about each one of them,
00:08:22.800then you have the next thing to answer. Okay? Here's what the next thing is.
00:08:26.560Can I permanently fix it? Two, can I partially improve it? Three, there's nothing I can do about
00:08:34.160it. For instance, you've been told you have bad skin. So you say, yes, it's partially true.
00:08:40.640Can you do anything about it? Yes, I can improve it. But I can't permanently get rid of it. Great.
00:08:45.840Now you have something that you can improve. But if somebody tells you, I've been told I'm short.
00:08:51.280Okay? How tall are you? 5'3". Can you improve your height? No. That's not changing. Okay?
00:08:58.000Number two, you have to make a list of the insecurities that you cannot change and you
00:09:03.040have to accept yourself. Newsflash. You are going to have some things in your body and your height
00:09:08.400and your emotional side that there's nothing you can do about. Period. There are certain things
00:09:13.280physically you're not going to be able to change. Maybe you're bald. You can have implants. But height,
00:09:17.440you can't do nothing about shoe size. You can't do nothing about hand size. You can't do nothing about...
00:09:21.040There are a lot of things you can do nothing about. And sometimes the biggest challenge is to be able
00:09:24.960to address that and say, listen, I have to accept this. It's fine. Everybody's born with certain
00:09:29.040flaws and certain insecurities. I'm moving on. That's step number two. Number three. Okay,
00:09:33.280so if you're saying, well, Pat, I have a hard time accepting some of these. You got to do them.
00:09:37.040Because number three isn't any easier either. Number three is forgiveness. And here's what I mean by forgiveness.
00:09:41.840I'm not trying to be the spiritual leader for you and get up here and say, you got to forgive. I'm not.
00:09:46.560It's not the easiest thing to do in life. It's very hard to do. But you're not necessarily
00:09:50.720forgiven for the other person. You're forgiven for yourself. You have to understand that your
00:09:53.920parents are not perfect. You don't know what your mom and dad were going through that day
00:09:57.040when they told you what they were telling you. You have no idea what your ex was going through.
00:10:00.000Maybe they were hurting. A lot of times you hear the saying, the person that's hurting is hurting,
00:10:03.840right? The person who hurts is hurting, like internally. You don't know what that person is going
00:10:08.800through. So you have to yourself and say, listen, I forgive him. I forgive her. It's all good. I'm going to move on.
00:10:13.440Why? Because one day you're going to hope somebody forgives you as well. So step number three is
00:10:18.000actually telling yourself, I am willing to forgive this individual. Number four. So listen, the next
00:10:23.440one may sound hokey to you, but it works. And that's your affirmations, daily affirmations.
00:10:27.280The other day I was in the garage and I was going through a bunch of different things. I found these
00:10:30.560boxes. And all of a sudden I found one of these boxes. I said, wait a minute, what is this here?
00:10:35.120This is my affirmation from 2002. You can see all the blemishes on the side. This was on my shower
00:10:43.120wall. And I would read it nonstop loud all the time. You know why affirmations are necessary for
00:10:48.560some people? You ever hear some people that are very confident, comfortable in their skin,
00:10:52.560and they'll say things like, oh, when I was growing up, my mother told me how amazing I was,
00:10:56.640she loved me, my dad loved me. And even some motivational speakers will say, my parents love me,
00:11:00.800my mother loved me. That's not everybody. Not every culture is like that, and not everybody
00:11:05.520had a parent that raised them that way, right? If you don't, you need to have some affirmations.
00:11:10.160These are some of the ones I had. Look at the last one that I have here, by the way. Here's the last
00:11:13.840one that I have. Don't you want to retire your dad? Buy yourself a house. Become debt-free. Make
00:11:20.480the story builders, it's the first company I've ever built. It was in 2001. Make the story builders a
00:11:26.400company that made the biggest difference and become a great example to others who would want to model
00:11:30.720you. Build the best school in the country where the students learn to become great leaders at a
00:11:35.040younger age. I wrote this in 2001. Drive your Ferrari, go visit your horses at the stable,
00:11:39.680have a bunch of pets at your house, have a beautiful white tiger, great family, great spiritual life,
00:11:44.080many kids, and be able to live all your dreams. Then you got to get off your ass and get after.
00:11:48.800That's my last affirmation. By the way, every one of them had to do with something I had to work on
00:11:53.600at that time. Every one of my affirmations. Here's another one that I created. I created this in 2007,
00:11:58.5602008. I will personally do my best to make all decisions with the core foundation of integrity.
00:12:04.720When making decisions, keep this in mind. Emotions high, intelligence slow. Number two,
00:12:08.480focus on my strengths rather than my weaknesses. Number three, not be afraid of taking risks and
00:12:12.320facing my fears. Number four, embrace confrontation and adversity rather than ignoring it. Number five,
00:12:17.040share my vision with the people around me at all times. I mean, you get the idea. These are things
00:12:20.640that matter to me at that point in my life. So your affirmations change as you grow up into the next
00:12:27.040level of your life. The next ones that I have right now is two, three pages. It's completely different
00:12:32.080than this one or this one. But affirmations work. Stop putting it aside and letting all the other
00:12:38.080hokey people do it and let their dreams become a reality. Rather, you test it for a year and see
00:12:44.480how it works. I promise you, you're from now, you won't recognize yourself. Number five. All right,
00:12:49.120here's another one that's pretty simple and it's effective. You've heard a million different times,
00:12:52.240but you got to do it. That's gratitude. You got to sit there and make a list of things you're grateful for.
00:12:55.520Literally, take a sheet of paper and make a list of things you're grateful for. Family, mom, dad,
00:13:00.960live in America, live in my country. I live 30 minutes away from the beach. Whatever it is,
00:13:05.040when you make a list, every single time you do this exercise, no matter how much insecurities
00:13:09.200you're having, how many fears you're having, how many concerns you're having, somehow, someway,
00:13:12.880this exercise about gratitude always gives you peace. Number six. So look, the next thing you got
00:13:17.840to do is you got to figure out a way to increase your internal value. What do I mean by internal value?
00:13:22.160As hot as you may be right now, you ain't going to be hot like this for the rest of your life.
00:13:25.280You can be a 75 year old good looking person still for a 75 year old,
00:13:29.680but a 75 year old isn't going to be better looking than a 22 year old good looking person, right?
00:13:34.240However, a 75 year old with a lot of internal value is emotionally attractive to the world.
00:13:41.600So work on increasing your internal value. What do I mean by this? There are typically,
00:13:46.960you've heard of Maslow's law where he says all these different needs you have. You have a need for this,
00:13:51.360you have a need for that. Let me just simplify in a basic way for you to be thinking about it.
00:13:54.960We have a law. We have a need for connection. We have a need for connection. What do I mean by
00:14:00.320connection? Love. This could be friendship. We need friends. We need companions. Somebody we build a
00:14:05.840family with. Somebody we build a life with, right? Interaction. We need that. There's a need for that.
00:14:10.960Another one that you need is a career. Like, I am valuable. I am valuable in a marketplace. I know how to do
00:14:17.360X, Y, Z, and people count on me to do X, Y, Z. That increases my value because I'm an expert in an
00:14:24.560area, right? Then there is spiritual value that you increase. Spiritual value, whatever your faith may
00:14:29.680be, right? It could be a religion. It could be a prayer. It could be meditation. It could be a
00:14:34.400complete different thing, but you got to have spiritual. Why? You see, this right here with your
00:14:39.520friends, family, loved ones, this is human interaction. You're with them. Your career, you're with people.
00:14:46.000Spiritual, you got to figure out a way to get along with yourself when your friends and family are not
00:14:51.520around and when your co-workers are not around. That's spiritual connection. There's got to be a
00:14:55.840game plan for that. If you don't have that and you always have to be around people to be happy,
00:15:01.200and you have the sense of insecurity, you're generally not going to be at peace for too long.
00:15:05.040So what could be the game plan? You may say, Pat, how can I have a game plan for friends, family,
00:15:08.400and loved ones? Very simple. Have a game plan. What do you want to look for in a spouse? Actually be clear
00:15:13.760about what you want, right? And who do I have to be to get this partner? Who do I have to be to have
00:15:18.640a partner and have a connection like this? What kind of friends do you want to have? What kind of
00:15:22.160friends do I need to be to have a friend like that? You got to go through that process on this side to
00:15:26.960have connection with people. Where do I need to put myself? Maybe I'm too timid. Maybe I put myself,
00:15:31.040maybe I need to start talking to people. I don't talk a lot. I don't ask questions. I'm just so shy.
00:15:35.120I make other people feel uncomfortable. So maybe I'm going to start asking people more questions and getting to know
00:15:39.440them and put myself out there. But there's got to be a game plan here. The other side, career-wise,
00:15:44.000I have a career, but I'm not really playing that much offense. Well, what do you need to put yourself
00:15:47.920out there? Maybe you need to learn three more new skills. You may need to be a little bit more
00:15:51.440assertive about yourself. And next time somebody says, who wants to take this responsibility? I'll try.
00:15:56.480Put yourself out there. Put yourself out there where someone's going to say, this guy came through,
00:16:00.000she came through. But you're improving also on your career side. Spiritual side, start seeking.
00:16:05.840Read some books. Read some spiritual books. Maybe pick up a book that talks about every
00:16:10.240single one of the religions and see what makes sense to you. Talk about it a little bit. Pray
00:16:15.040about it. Meditate about it. Go take yoga. I don't know. But have a game plan for each one of these
00:16:19.920things to advance in your life. Because when you do that, you increase your value internally,
00:16:25.360and slowly but surely, you start becoming more and more confident and your insecurities go away.
00:16:30.160Number seven. So we just talked about it. You've got to figure out a way to increase your value
00:16:33.680internally, right? You've also got to figure out a way to increase your value externally. What do
00:16:37.040I mean by that? You've got skin issues? Put a game plan. Go sit with somebody and see what they're
00:16:41.760going to tell you about improving your skin. You're out of shape? Get in shape. You don't feel good
00:16:45.920about the way you look? Do so. You don't like the way you dress? Figure out a way how to dress.
00:16:49.840Maybe go talk to somebody. Read books on it. But somehow, someway, also try to figure out a way.
00:16:55.600Maybe you're not physically going to be a 10. I mean, in reality, who is a 10? Maybe you're currently a 4,
00:17:01.600but you can at least take yourself to a 7.5. What's that game plan? Figure out a way to improve
00:17:06.320your diet, your health, your life, your exercise, your energy, all of that stuff. So put a game plan
00:17:12.400also for external value. Number eight. Okay, so the last thing you've got to do is not an easy one
00:17:17.520to do, and that's why I left it last. Here's what it is. You've got to sit together with a trusted mentor
00:17:23.280who's not afraid of telling you the truth. Not a jerk, but it's not afraid of telling the truth.
00:17:28.320It's not afraid of telling you you're full of it. They're not afraid of telling you you're overthinking it.
00:17:32.080They're not afraid of telling you, why are you worried about this? They're not afraid of telling
00:17:34.960you, listen, you think you're good in this? You're really not. Don't think too much about this.
00:17:39.440It's okay. This is the area you want to improve in. But you need somebody to sit with that's a
00:17:44.400trusted mentor, that understands your insecurities, that's willing to be gentle with you, yet is willing
00:17:49.360to be honest with you. And from there, you walk out and you say, wow, this is great. I've got a game plan to go out there and address my insecurities.
00:17:55.920And that whole nightmare thing I told you about where you're glued because of your insecurities,
00:17:59.360you can finally remove your legs and run away and go live the dream life that you want to live.
00:18:03.360Thanks, everybody, for listening. And by the way, if you haven't already subscribed to Valuetainment on
00:18:07.280iTunes, please do so. Give us a five-star. Write a review if you haven't already. And if you have any
00:18:12.880questions for me that you may have, you can always find me on Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. Just
00:18:18.480search my name, Patrick MidDavid. And I actually do respond back when you snap me or send me a message
00:18:24.240on Instagram. With that being said, have a great day today. Take care, everybody. Bye-bye.