Episode 188： 5 Reasons People Stop Dreaming
Episode Stats
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Summary
5 Reasons Why People Stop Dreaming (and How to Fix It) by Patrick Bedevi on Why They Don t Have It (and Why You Don t) Today's episode is a mashup of 5 reasons why people stop dreaming and how to fix it.
Transcript
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I'm Patrick Bedevi, host of Value Team, and today I'm going to talk to you about five
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So this last week I'm at the Venetian with 45 people on my suite, and we're going back
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And I have this 50-year-old man to my right, sit around 50s, and a lady in her mid-40s
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is asking me questions, and we're going back and forth, and while I'm giving an answer,
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She says, Pat, I don't believe my dreams can become a reality.
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That led to a 45-minute conversation which prompted me to want to make this video.
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Number one, Paola Koala, the author of The Alchemist, once said that when we turn, when
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you and I turn 23, 24 years old, our brains, something happens to it where we become more
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We're no longer, oh my gosh, this is possible, I can take over the world.
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I don't know if I can really take over, it seems kind of impossible if you really think
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There's no way in the world we can build something like this.
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So we go into this whole different state of thinking, right?
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Nah, the possibility of thinking is not out there.
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Let me explain to you a little bit more about this.
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I'm in my room, in my office in Woodland Hills, live by Warner Center Marriott.
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I have made a friend, I had known him for four or five years, we've done business together.
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Very smart guy, loved him, loved his wife, good looking family, went to Wharton Business
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He comes to me after meeting at Cheesecake Factory because he says, I'd like to invest,
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I want you to be the CO, I want to be your COO president, we go build this company together.
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So we finally meet in the office, it's 12.30, we're about to finalize the information to go
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And the number we agreed at this time, there's nothing taking place good at this time with
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We're trying to build it, it's a lot of work, but we've been around for a year and a half,
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So we come up with this number, around half a million dollars for 10% of the company.
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You know what he ends up telling me that night, here's what he says, he says, you know what
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I feel like you're a very good negotiator, and you're very good in sales.
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I said, okay, that's a good thing, that just means that you're very smart to team up
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with somebody like that, that's a very good salesperson negotiator, because you've told
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I said, so do you want to team up with a guy that is opposite strengths to you, who's not
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I'm trying to understand what you're saying with this.
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He says, well, I just don't know if I'm going to get the best deal here.
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You're getting 10% for only half a million dollars.
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And I'm doing this because I want you part of our team.
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Do you realize if we would have come with that investment, his investment is going to
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be somewhere between 15 to 20 million dollars today, and he would have excelled.
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Everything was about, well, what if this happens?
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I could just almost watch him thinking he went all logical.
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He didn't see the social capital, the vision, what we have going on.
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And he was afraid because he second-guessed himself.
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Let me explain a little bit deeper for you here so it makes sense to you.
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When you're 16, you're a girl, you're in high school, 10th grade, 11th grade, someone
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When you're 45, you're single, maybe divorced, and you meet another man.
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When you're skeptic, logical, the guy says, eventually I'm hoping I get into your pants.
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Because that's what people, if I like you like me, we should probably go in the bedroom
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Because all you're doing is saying, I know what you're trying to do with me.
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Of course your dreams are trying to get into your pants.
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You live a life with no dreams becoming a reality.
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If you don't want that life, you have to open this up a little bit.
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And you have to set aside some of the logical thinking.
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Allow for opportunities to come up that get you closer and closer and closer to your dreams.
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You know, so many times parents, adults are so concerned about the F-bomb.
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We are so concerned about preventing people from cursing, right?
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Well, we forget the real profanity is a whole different language.
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I'm more concerned about this than I'm about this.
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Who in your family has ever made it for you to be able to do it, right?
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Somebody comes up and says, here's what I'm thinking about doing.
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I'm thinking about starting an online business to deliver food.
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And I cook it at my house and I bring it to you.
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I'm thinking about starting an online Uber for personal trainers.
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You meet at a gym and you pick a location at 6 o'clock.
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Personal trainer shows up at $40, $30, and there's reviews.
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Now maybe someone's done it all, but let's take a look at it.
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What if we had a scoring system for the personal trainers?
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What if the person that loses weight, there's also a gauge to say that this person did this
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What if we linked Fitbit to the personal training app that's like the Uber that there's a leader's
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This doesn't mean this idea is going to become a reality.
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But it's an environment that's going to give birth to something that's warmer and warmer
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Your biggest concern when it comes down to a language isn't this.
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Imagine if this becomes a reality that keeps getting the energy going.
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It engages people while the other language does not.
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Listen, there are two different ways that people have these limiting beliefs that they
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One way is you have somebody else influences and imposes their limiting beliefs on you.
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You're a guy that was raised in a family that has this.
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They're going to give you a good four-year degree.
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At 39 years old, you'll retire with $2,800 income with benefits.
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The other kind of limiting beliefs is you do it to yourself.
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Let me give you an example on the first side here of limiting beliefs.
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Everybody's heard of Dwayne Johnson, a.k.a. The Rock, right?
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Many, many years ago when he got in the scene of wrestling, you know, he was a football player.
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He was playing for the Miami Hurricanes and he went and played some other semi-pro football.
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And they kind of used him as a regular guy to do some stuff.
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And it was kind of like, you know, not really a good guy, a bad guy type of thing.
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And then they're just kind of putting him as, here, go do this and go do that.
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And they thought Rock was just another guy that was excited about being a wrestler.
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One day, The Rock says, listen, I got to set the tone here.
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People got to really realize who I'm all about.
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He grabs the mic and he says, The Rock may be a lot of things, but there's one thing The
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He said, I had to say this to the world because the world had to realize what I'm all about
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I am not going to let the wrestling world put a certain identity on me.
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He says, I want to be like Will Smith except bigger.
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This guy didn't let anybody put a certain limiting belief on him.
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And by the way, he could have been a wrestler and people would have said, oh, he did good.
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He followed his father's footsteps and became a wrestler.
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Forbes, highest paid actor ever in a single year.
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You don't think a lot of people put a lot of limiting beliefs on him.
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Football players get $12 million a year contract.
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This guy made in one year what football players making $12 million a year making 12 years.
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If you're not dreaming and seeing it become a reality, there's something in it.
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And it's called, How to Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs.
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If you haven't watched it, you have to watch this video.
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But when you watch this video, you need a paper and pen.
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It's not going to work if you don't have something to write on to be able to address some of your
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limiting beliefs so you can cross them over and go and start dreaming again and realize
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So look, sometimes I hear people tell me and say, Pat, the reason why I don't dream anymore
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is because I didn't grow up in an environment that gave me an opportunity to dream.
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You know, I didn't have, my dad wasn't successful.
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I wish I had an uncle like you, Pat, because I would have an example.
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Like, do you realize how lame of an excuse that is?
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You realize LeBron's father was never in the picture for him to look up to somebody to go
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Ronaldo didn't have a father figure to say, oh my gosh, this is the person I'm going to go play.
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Michael Jordan's dad didn't play in professional basketball.
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A lot of these stories you read about, they didn't have necessarily an example that became
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But these people used some sort of inspiration to go out there and do it.
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By the way, when I was coming up, there was no YouTube.
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There was nothing for us to look at and be inspired by.
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Today, you can simply pick up your phone and go watch a video documentary of somebody and
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You don't necessarily need a mother and a father that have been super successful for you
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to go out there and say, now I have an example to lead.
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Number five, look, this next one's dedicated to anybody about 40 or 50 years old.
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A matter of fact, if you are not 40 or 50, share this clip with them and tell them to
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go to the exact minute it's on because they have to watch this.
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This is for you if you're about 40 or 50, your son or daughter shared it with you.
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When you're 17 years old, you haven't attended a lot of funerals yet.
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When you're 28 years old, you also haven't attended a lot of funerals yet.
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What happened three hours ago from a text I got that I showed you that you said there's
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That's a very bad thing when that happens because that's when we start asking a question.
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All this tragedy starts happening around you, everything, and you don't know it, but here's
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Oh my gosh, that person probably died from a lot of stress.
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I mean, honestly, what's really more important?
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You know, is it more important for me to have my health versus me going and chasing and
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You don't know you're doing this, but you know what you're really trying to say.
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Okay, obviously health is more important than all the money in the world, but here's what
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You're saying it is not possible to be healthy and have money.
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And so all these things, as you get more defeated, you get a divorce.
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Who's going to want to be with somebody like me?
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The only thing left to you is $22,000 and a dog.
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I mean, who's going to want to be with somebody like me?
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So you just get smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller.
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You're just glad you're part of a fantasy football league and that's your excitement.
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All these other people that start telling you about dreams and what if and one day and
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When you grow up, you'll know exactly how I feel.
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If you have kids and you're a parent and you're watching this and you're in that state, you've
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Your kids are watching your behavior and you don't know it.
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Indirectly, you're teaching your kids also how to be defeated.
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Nowadays, with today's doctors and today's medicine and today's technology, if you're
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You're going to live another 55, 50 to 55 years.
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You want to spend another 50 to 55 years of just being down on yourself and nothing is
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Do you realize today's 55-year-old is 40 years ago's 35-year-old?
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Today's 55-year-old is 30 years ago's 35-year-old.
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I mean, we've got to take a computer on my phone.
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Can you imagine a 486 computer putting in your pocket back in the days?
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Remember we would work at the CD with Papa, you couldn't do it?
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But I need you, the 52-year-old watching this, the 63-year-old watching this, the 48-year-old
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Because this could potentially be the beginning of the greatest years of your life.
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And potentially, with this attitude, you could attract the most ridiculous things in your
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life that can get you closer to your dreams, even though you're 62 years old.
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They're attracted to an attitude, to a persona, to a personality, to a mindset.
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You shift it, they'll be turned on by you as well.
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And by the way, if you haven't already subscribed to Valuetainment on iTunes, please do so.
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And if you have any questions for me that you may have, you can always find me on Snapchat,
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And I actually do respond back when you snap me or send me a message on Instagram.