Valuetainment - Episode 188： 5 Reasons People Stop Dreaming

00:00:00.000 I'm Patrick Bedevi, host of Value Team, and today I'm going to talk to you about five

00:00:20.960 reasons why people stop dreaming.

00:00:22.820 So this last week I'm at the Venetian with 45 people on my suite, and we're going back

00:00:26.340 and forth with questions.

00:00:27.200 And I have this 50-year-old man to my right, sit around 50s, and a lady in her mid-40s 0.98

00:00:31.440 is asking me questions, and we're going back and forth, and while I'm giving an answer,

00:00:35.240 she's smiling, but she starts crying.

00:00:36.820 I said, why are you crying?

00:00:38.520 She says, Pat, I don't believe my dreams can become a reality.

00:00:43.420 That led to a 45-minute conversation which prompted me to want to make this video.

00:00:48.940 Number one, Paola Koala, the author of The Alchemist, once said that when we turn, when

00:00:53.040 you and I turn 23, 24 years old, our brains, something happens to it where we become more

00:00:57.840 logical.

00:00:59.120 We're no longer, oh my gosh, this is possible, I can take over the world.

00:01:02.560 I don't know if I can really take over, it seems kind of impossible if you really think

00:01:06.120 about it.

00:01:06.620 There's no way in the world we can build something like this.

00:01:08.840 So we go into this whole different state of thinking, right?

00:01:11.420 Nah, the possibility of thinking is not out there.

00:01:13.520 Let me explain to you a little bit more about this.

00:01:15.300 Go back 2011, seven years ago.

00:01:17.140 I'm in my room, in my office in Woodland Hills, live by Warner Center Marriott.

00:01:21.480 I have made a friend, I had known him for four or five years, we've done business together.

00:01:25.180 Very smart guy, loved him, loved his wife, good looking family, went to Wharton Business

00:01:30.200 School, sharp as hell, brilliant guy.

00:01:32.360 He comes to me after meeting at Cheesecake Factory because he says, I'd like to invest,

00:01:36.600 I want you to be the CO, I want to be your COO president, we go build this company together.

00:01:41.080 I said, great, let's meet.

00:01:42.300 So we finally meet in the office, it's 12.30, we're about to finalize the information to go

00:01:45.960 into contract.

00:01:47.420 And the number we agreed at this time, there's nothing taking place good at this time with

00:01:51.040 the company.

00:01:51.940 We're trying to build it, it's a lot of work, but we've been around for a year and a half,

00:01:55.700 there's some track record.

00:01:57.240 So we come up with this number, around half a million dollars for 10% of the company.

00:02:01.480 You know what he ends up telling me that night, here's what he says, he says, you know what

00:02:03.820 Patrick, I said, what's that?

00:02:05.660 I feel like you're a very good negotiator, and you're very good in sales.

00:02:08.920 I said, okay, that's a good thing, that just means that you're very smart to team up

00:02:12.660 with somebody like that, that's a very good salesperson negotiator, because you've told

00:02:16.200 me before, that's not your strength.

00:02:17.440 Your strength is more operational technology.

00:02:19.620 Yes.

00:02:20.000 I said, so do you want to team up with a guy that is opposite strengths to you, who's not

00:02:25.320 in sales?

00:02:26.620 I'm trying to understand what you're saying with this.

00:02:28.360 He says, well, I just don't know if I'm going to get the best deal here.

00:02:31.120 I said, let me get this straight.

00:02:32.400 You're getting 10% for only half a million dollars.

00:02:35.260 And I'm doing this because I want you part of our team.

00:02:37.140 I just think you're selling me.

00:02:38.560 There's some stuff I don't know about.

00:02:39.600 I said, okay, no problem.

00:02:41.160 We went our separate ways.

00:02:42.180 Do you realize if we would have come with that investment, his investment is going to

00:02:44.660 be somewhere between 15 to 20 million dollars today, and he would have excelled.

00:02:48.520 What happened?

00:02:49.920 Wharton Business School, way too logical.

00:02:53.020 Everything was about, well, what if this happens?

00:02:55.540 What if that happens?

00:02:56.180 I could just almost watch him thinking he went all logical.

00:02:59.900 He didn't see the emotional side.

00:03:00.980 He didn't see the social capital, the vision, what we have going on.

00:03:03.680 And he was afraid because he second-guessed himself.

00:03:05.940 So you know what it's like?

00:03:06.800 Let me explain a little bit deeper for you here so it makes sense to you.

00:03:08.980 When you're 16, you're a girl, you're in high school, 10th grade, 11th grade, someone

00:03:14.200 flirts with you, it's cute.

00:03:16.020 You like it.

00:03:16.480 Like, oh my gosh, I think he likes me.

00:03:18.160 It's nice.

00:03:19.020 You share it with your friends.

00:03:20.620 When you're 45, you're single, maybe divorced, and you meet another man.

00:03:23.900 He's divorced.

00:03:24.980 And you meet him somewhere.

00:03:25.940 He comes and talks to you.

00:03:27.400 The approach sometimes is different.

00:03:28.680 You know what happens?

00:03:29.220 Here's what happens.

00:03:30.340 Wait a minute.

00:03:31.560 I know what you're trying to do.

00:03:32.460 You're flirting with me, right?

00:03:33.580 Yes.

00:03:34.600 I know what you want.

00:03:35.560 You only care about one thing.

00:03:36.560 You're just trying to get in my pants. 1.00

00:03:38.620 I'm sorry.

00:03:39.280 What do you mean?

00:03:40.400 All you want from me is one thing.

00:03:41.560 All men, all they want is one thing. 1.00

00:03:43.760 Skeptic.

00:03:44.640 Logical.

00:03:45.620 When you're skeptic, logical, the guy says, eventually I'm hoping I get into your pants.

00:03:49.540 Because that's what people, if I like you like me, we should probably go in the bedroom

00:03:53.380 and have some fun together, right?

00:03:54.780 No?

00:03:55.400 You're not?

00:03:56.160 Yes.

00:03:56.520 What's wrong if I'm flirting with you?

00:03:58.580 I'm trying to woo you and chase you.

00:04:01.800 Sometimes your dreams are flirting with you.

00:04:05.100 But you're not letting your dreams flirt.

00:04:07.760 Because all you're doing is saying, I know what you're trying to do with me.

00:04:11.100 You're just trying to get into my pants. 0.99

00:04:12.800 Of course your dreams are trying to get into your pants.

00:04:15.560 Your dreams is here.

00:04:16.800 They want to get into here.

00:04:18.240 You're not letting them.

00:04:19.000 You're guarding them.

00:04:20.080 So you don't let anybody in.

00:04:21.620 You know what happens when you do that?

00:04:23.360 You live a life with no dreams becoming a reality.

00:04:25.340 Do you really want that life?

00:04:26.460 If you don't want that life, you have to open this up a little bit.

00:04:29.260 And you have to set aside some of the logical thinking.

00:04:31.760 Allow for opportunities to come up that get you closer and closer and closer to your dreams.

00:04:36.080 Number two.

00:04:37.100 You know, so many times parents, adults are so concerned about the F-bomb.

00:04:42.420 And oh my gosh, he said the S-word.

00:04:44.880 He said the B-word.

00:04:47.100 Profanity.

00:04:47.720 We are so concerned about preventing people from cursing, right?

00:04:51.620 Well, we forget the real profanity is a whole different language.

00:04:54.560 It ain't cursing here.

00:04:55.700 I'm more concerned about this than I'm about this.

00:04:58.120 And let me tell you what I'm talking about.

00:04:59.700 I can't do this.

00:05:01.100 There's no way in the world we could do it.

00:05:02.740 That's not possible.

00:05:03.920 That's impossible.

00:05:05.200 Me?

00:05:06.280 What can I do?

00:05:07.520 No one in my family has ever made it.

00:05:08.920 You think I could do it?

00:05:10.120 Mario, you can't do it.

00:05:11.160 What are you talking about, Mario?

00:05:12.580 Who in your family has ever made it for you to be able to do it, right?

00:05:15.200 That's the real profanity.

00:05:16.840 Not this part.

00:05:18.080 This is what we have to worry about.

00:05:19.800 That's the language.

00:05:20.960 Let me simplify it for you.

00:05:22.480 Say four of us are in a round table.

00:05:24.700 We're sitting there.

00:05:25.300 It's me, Mario, you, and a friend of yours.

00:05:27.060 Somebody comes up and says, here's what I'm thinking about doing.

00:05:29.200 What's that?

00:05:29.780 I'm thinking about starting an online business to deliver food.

00:05:33.400 And I cook it at my house and I bring it to you.

00:05:35.020 And you get to choose menu.

00:05:36.420 And we recruit chefs all over the place.

00:05:38.000 I'm thinking about starting an online Uber for personal trainers.

00:05:41.060 And they come to you.

00:05:41.680 You meet at a gym and you pick a location at 6 o'clock.

00:05:43.980 Personal trainer shows up at $40, $30, and there's reviews.

00:05:46.860 I'm thinking about doing something like that.

00:05:48.300 Now watch two different ways this thing goes.

00:05:49.800 Ready?

00:05:50.580 Here's the one that's too logical.

00:05:52.380 Oh, bro, you're crazy.

00:05:53.240 It's already probably been done.

00:05:54.380 I bet someone's already doing it.

00:05:55.380 Don't even waste your time doing it.

00:05:56.660 No way in the world.

00:05:57.420 Don't waste your time.

00:05:58.060 Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.

00:05:58.820 And you go that direction.

00:05:59.960 Okay.

00:06:00.600 What happened to that conversation?

00:06:01.920 Done.

00:06:03.160 Same temperature.

00:06:04.100 Ready?

00:06:04.700 Now watch this other person here.

00:06:06.520 Oh my gosh.

00:06:07.480 That is pretty cool.

00:06:08.560 What if we actually did pull it off?

00:06:10.040 Now maybe someone's done it all, but let's take a look at it.

00:06:12.180 What could you do that would be different?

00:06:13.660 What if we had a scoring system for the personal trainers?

00:06:15.900 What if the person that loses weight, there's also a gauge to say that this person did this

00:06:18.960 and that person?

00:06:19.440 What if we linked Fitbit to the personal training app that's like the Uber that there's a leader's

00:06:23.700 bulletin, there's a gamification?

00:06:25.540 That room just got hot.

00:06:26.700 You know why?

00:06:27.520 Because the language is a bigger language.

00:06:29.340 This doesn't mean this idea is going to become a reality.

00:06:32.520 But it's an environment that's going to give birth to something that's warmer and warmer

00:06:37.180 and warmer and possibilities in that room.

00:06:39.780 Your biggest concern when it comes down to a language isn't this.

00:06:44.820 It's to have a language that says, what if?

00:06:47.060 Imagine.

00:06:47.820 What if we could do it?

00:06:48.960 Imagine if this becomes a reality that keeps getting the energy going.

00:06:52.480 It engages people while the other language does not. 1.00

00:06:55.420 Number three.

00:06:56.700 The next point is limiting beliefs.

00:06:58.160 Listen, there are two different ways that people have these limiting beliefs that they

00:07:02.640 don't believe they can do it.

00:07:04.640 And here's two ways.

00:07:05.540 One way is you have somebody else influences and imposes their limiting beliefs on you.

00:07:11.440 Hey, John, this is who you are.

00:07:13.640 You're a guy that was raised in a family that has this.

00:07:16.000 They're divorced.

00:07:16.620 You belong in this box.

00:07:18.040 Stick to this.

00:07:18.680 Go to the military.

00:07:19.420 You're going to have a good life.

00:07:20.140 They're going to give you a good four-year degree.

00:07:21.800 At 39 years old, you'll retire with $2,800 income with benefits.

00:07:25.900 You'll meet somebody good.

00:07:27.260 This is a good life.

00:07:28.060 You go here.

00:07:28.460 You stay in this box.

00:07:30.160 The other kind of limiting beliefs is you do it to yourself.

00:07:32.320 Let me give you an example on the first side here of limiting beliefs.

00:07:35.340 Everybody's heard of Dwayne Johnson, a.k.a. The Rock, right?

00:07:37.820 Many, many years ago when he got in the scene of wrestling, you know, he was a football player.

00:07:40.740 He hurt himself.

00:07:41.320 He was playing for the Miami Hurricanes and he went and played some other semi-pro football.

00:07:44.560 And then, boom, he's done.

00:07:45.380 His career's over with.

00:07:46.260 He's devastated.

00:07:47.140 He knows he can go to wrestling.

00:07:48.440 Why?

00:07:48.620 His father was a wrestler.

00:07:49.500 So he goes into wrestling.

00:07:51.060 And they kind of used him as a regular guy to do some stuff.

00:07:53.480 And it was kind of like, you know, not really a good guy, a bad guy type of thing.

00:07:57.260 And then they're just kind of putting him as, here, go do this and go do that.

00:08:00.380 And they thought Rock was just another guy that was excited about being a wrestler.

00:08:03.380 They thought that was it.

00:08:03.980 That's Rock's dreams.

00:08:05.380 That's all he has.

00:08:06.200 You know, Rock, just go out there, man.

00:08:07.620 You're following your father's footsteps.

00:08:09.440 And that's it for him.

00:08:11.360 One day, The Rock says, listen, I got to set the tone here.

00:08:14.700 People got to really realize who I'm all about.

00:08:17.180 He goes in the ring.

00:08:18.520 He says, Vince, let me just talk tonight.

00:08:20.740 He grabs the mic and he says, The Rock may be a lot of things, but there's one thing The

00:08:26.060 Rock's not.

00:08:27.040 The Rock doesn't suck.

00:08:28.460 He said, I had to say this to the world because the world had to realize what I'm all about

00:08:38.920 because that's how I view myself.

00:08:42.340 I am not going to let the wrestling world put a certain identity on me.

00:08:47.460 I know exactly what I want to do.

00:08:49.380 Do you know when he met with his agents?

00:08:51.020 They asked him, who do you want to be?

00:08:52.460 He says, I want to be like Will Smith except bigger.

00:08:55.720 He said that.

00:08:56.560 Who says things like this?

00:08:58.120 I want to be Will Smith except bigger.

00:09:00.220 This guy didn't let anybody put a certain limiting belief on him.

00:09:04.560 And it changed.

00:09:06.200 And by the way, he could have been a wrestler and people would have said, oh, he did good.

00:09:09.640 He followed his father's footsteps and became a wrestler.

00:09:12.260 Congratulations, Rock.

00:09:13.020 He said, I don't want to be a wrestler.

00:09:14.800 You know how much money he made last year?

00:09:16.740 Forbes, highest paid actor ever in a single year.

00:09:20.780 $124 million last year.

00:09:22.200 You don't think a lot of people put a lot of limiting beliefs on him.

00:09:25.840 Hey, football player, you failed.

00:09:28.040 Football players get $12 million a year contract.

00:09:31.240 This guy made in one year what football players making $12 million a year making 12 years.

00:09:37.140 That's the Rock.

00:09:38.320 That's why the Rock is who he is.

00:09:39.980 So I'm going back to you here.

00:09:41.400 By the way, about dreaming.

00:09:44.060 You have certain limiting beliefs.

00:09:45.580 If you're not dreaming and seeing it become a reality, there's something in it.

00:09:48.620 You don't know what it is.

00:09:49.340 I made a video a couple years ago.

00:09:51.700 I don't know how long ago this was.

00:09:52.720 This may be two years ago.

00:09:53.660 And it's called, How to Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs.

00:09:56.180 If you haven't watched it, you have to watch this video.

00:09:59.700 But when you watch this video, you need a paper and pen.

00:10:01.860 It's not going to work if you don't have something to write on to be able to address some of your

00:10:05.120 limiting beliefs so you can cross them over and go and start dreaming again and realize

00:10:08.780 that great life that you want is out there.

00:10:11.380 Number four.

00:10:12.360 So look, sometimes I hear people tell me and say, Pat, the reason why I don't dream anymore

00:10:15.840 is because I didn't grow up in an environment that gave me an opportunity to dream.

00:10:20.280 You know, I didn't have, my dad wasn't successful.

00:10:22.820 I wish I had a father like you, Pat.

00:10:24.900 I wish I had an uncle like you, Pat, because I would have an example.

00:10:28.120 Like, do you realize how lame of an excuse that is?

00:10:30.920 You realize LeBron's father was never in the picture for him to look up to somebody to go

00:10:35.340 become who he is today.

00:10:37.180 Ronaldo didn't have a father figure to say, oh my gosh, this is the person I'm going to go play.

00:10:41.080 Michael Jordan's dad didn't play in professional basketball.

00:10:43.360 A lot of these stories you read about, they didn't have necessarily an example that became

00:10:47.380 that successful.

00:10:48.560 But these people used some sort of inspiration to go out there and do it.

00:10:52.420 By the way, when I was coming up, there was no YouTube.

00:10:54.980 There was nothing for us to look at and be inspired by.

00:10:57.560 Today, you can simply pick up your phone and go watch a video documentary of somebody and

00:11:01.700 say, oh my gosh, I'm inspired.

00:11:03.280 I want to go do this as well.

00:11:04.500 You don't necessarily need a mother and a father that have been super successful for you

00:11:09.500 to go out there and say, now I have an example to lead.

00:11:11.980 There's plenty of inspiration everywhere.

00:11:14.200 Number five, look, this next one's dedicated to anybody about 40 or 50 years old.

00:11:17.840 A matter of fact, if you are not 40 or 50, share this clip with them and tell them to

00:11:21.600 go to the exact minute it's on because they have to watch this.

00:11:24.520 This is for you if you're about 40 or 50, your son or daughter shared it with you.

00:11:28.160 You got to watch this.

00:11:28.980 Look, here's what happens as we age.

00:11:31.960 When you're 17 years old, you haven't attended a lot of funerals yet.

00:11:35.300 When you're 28 years old, you also haven't attended a lot of funerals yet.

00:11:38.200 Do you know what happened, Mario?

00:11:39.640 What happened three hours ago from a text I got that I showed you that you said there's

00:11:43.480 no way in the world that just happened?

00:11:45.000 Somebody had a stroke.

00:11:46.060 It's a very good friend of mine.

00:11:47.920 He just finished writing a book.

00:11:49.260 I said, congratulations.

00:11:50.380 He says, I'm in the hospital.

00:11:51.460 Why are you in the hospital?

00:11:52.240 Is it for you or somebody else?

00:11:53.760 It's for me.

00:11:54.280 I just had a stroke.

00:11:54.980 What do you mean you just had a stroke?

00:11:56.940 You know what happens?

00:11:58.160 We get older, family dies.

00:12:00.740 Somebody younger than us dies.

00:12:01.920 That's a very bad thing when that happens because that's when we start asking a question.

00:12:04.720 All this tragedy starts happening around you, everything, and you don't know it, but here's

00:12:10.260 how people process it.

00:12:11.260 Let me process a couple of the ways with you.

00:12:12.920 Oh my gosh, that person probably died from a lot of stress.

00:12:17.480 And you know what?

00:12:18.260 I've been under a lot of stress, lady.

00:12:19.500 I mean, honestly, what's really more important?

00:12:21.940 You know, is it more important for me to have my health versus me going and chasing and

00:12:26.700 making all this money?

00:12:27.320 Who cares about all this money I make anyways?

00:12:29.480 You don't know you're doing this, but you know what you're really trying to say.

00:12:31.720 Okay, obviously health is more important than all the money in the world, but here's what

00:12:36.500 you're really saying.

00:12:37.800 You're saying it is not possible to be healthy and have money.

00:12:41.900 That's really what you're saying.

00:12:43.760 And so all these things, as you get more defeated, you get a divorce.

00:12:46.440 You're 38 years old.

00:12:47.220 Oh my gosh, I'm 38 years old and I'm divorced.

00:12:49.380 I'm done.

00:12:49.860 Who's going to want to be with somebody like me?

00:12:51.820 You're 52 and you get a divorce.

00:12:53.280 You lost your house.

00:12:53.840 You have nothing.

00:12:54.720 The only thing left to you is $22,000 and a dog.

00:12:57.580 Nothing.

00:12:58.040 You have nothing going on.

00:12:59.480 I mean, who's going to want to be with somebody like me?

00:13:00.820 I'm done.

00:13:01.120 And I'm defeated.

00:13:02.060 So you just get smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller.

00:13:04.240 You just deal with life.

00:13:05.920 You just live.

00:13:06.840 Regular.

00:13:07.840 Nothing crazy.

00:13:09.480 You're just glad you got a job and that's it.

00:13:13.060 You're just glad you're part of a fantasy football league and that's your excitement.

00:13:17.920 All these other people that start telling you about dreams and what if and one day and

00:13:21.640 all this other stuff.

00:13:22.760 Oh, knock it off.

00:13:23.640 When you live my life, it's a very hard life.

00:13:25.640 When you grow up, you'll know exactly how I feel.

00:13:27.840 Two suggestions I'll make to you.

00:13:29.160 If you have kids and you're a parent and you're watching this and you're in that state, you've

00:13:33.500 got to snap out of it.

00:13:34.460 Here's why.

00:13:35.000 Your kids are watching your behavior.

00:13:36.960 Your kids are watching your behavior and you don't know it.

00:13:39.740 Indirectly, you're teaching your kids also how to be defeated.

00:13:42.420 That's number one.

00:13:43.420 Two.

00:13:43.740 Nowadays, with today's doctors and today's medicine and today's technology, if you're

00:13:49.920 45, 50, you've only lived half of your life.

00:13:53.940 You're going to live another 55, 50 to 55 years.

00:13:57.520 You want to spend another 50 to 55 years of just being down on yourself and nothing is

00:14:00.960 possible?

00:14:02.000 Do you realize today's 55-year-old is 40 years ago's 35-year-old?

00:14:06.300 Let me say it again.

00:14:07.740 Today's 55-year-old is 30 years ago's 35-year-old.

00:14:10.880 You ain't that old.

00:14:11.780 You're 35 today.

00:14:13.720 And someone has to explain this to you.

00:14:15.380 So what does this mean?

00:14:16.740 Celebrate.

00:14:17.900 Get excited.

00:14:19.480 You've got a lot of stuff ahead of you, man.

00:14:21.420 This is a beautiful life.

00:14:22.520 I mean, we've got to take a computer on my phone.

00:14:24.740 This goes in my pocket.

00:14:25.780 Can you imagine a 486 computer putting in your pocket back in the days?

00:14:28.900 No way in the world.

00:14:30.240 This is your Walkman.

00:14:31.280 Remember the orange Walkmans back in the days?

00:14:32.860 The CD players.

00:14:33.840 You can't put that stuff.

00:14:34.740 Remember we would work at the CD with Papa, you couldn't do it?

00:14:37.140 Do you remember those struggles?

00:14:38.420 You don't have those struggles today.

00:14:39.960 You drive in your car.

00:14:41.440 You don't even plug it in.

00:14:42.820 Wi-Fi picks up the music.

00:14:44.220 Wait a minute.

00:14:44.960 How did all this stuff come about?

00:14:46.880 Progress.

00:14:48.280 Progress.

00:14:49.600 It's a complete different life.

00:14:51.400 But I need you, the 52-year-old watching this, the 63-year-old watching this, the 48-year-old

00:14:56.060 watching this.

00:14:58.500 Spirit, go back.

00:15:01.000 Dream again.

00:15:02.060 Life is fine.

00:15:03.140 It's okay.

00:15:03.780 We're breathing.

00:15:05.680 Man, go exercise.

00:15:07.420 Go do something with your life.

00:15:09.460 Because this could potentially be the beginning of the greatest years of your life.

00:15:13.940 And potentially, with this attitude, you could attract the most ridiculous things in your

00:15:18.920 life that can get you closer to your dreams, even though you're 62 years old.

00:15:23.400 Even though you're 55 years old.

00:15:25.040 Because that's how dreams work.

00:15:26.460 They're attracted to an attitude, to a persona, to a personality, to a mindset.

00:15:30.400 You shift it, they'll be turned on by you as well.

00:15:33.300 Thanks, everybody, for listening.

00:15:34.680 And by the way, if you haven't already subscribed to Valuetainment on iTunes, please do so.

00:15:39.260 Give us a five-star.

00:15:40.580 Write a review if you haven't already.

00:15:42.160 And if you have any questions for me that you may have, you can always find me on Snapchat,

00:15:46.240 Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube.

00:15:48.200 Just search my name, Patrick MidDavid.

00:15:49.960 And I actually do respond back when you snap me or send me a message on Instagram.

00:15:55.100 With that being said, have a great day today.

00:15:56.840 Take care, everybody.

00:15:57.560 Bye-bye.

Valuetainment - October 15, 2018

Episode 188： 5 Reasons People Stop Dreaming

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