Episode 192： 10 Dating Mistakes to Avoid as an Entrepreneur
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
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Summary
10 Dating Mistakes to Avoid as an Entrepreneur 1. Show your new partner out in public too early 2. Tell others about your new relationship too soon 3. Don t let other people see you with your new significant other 4. Don't let them know about your relationship 5. Let them know that you are dating someone new 6. Tell them that you re in a committed relationship with them 7. Show them that they re your girlfriend 8. Show up in public with your significant other too early or too late 9. Tell other people about your boyfriend or girlfriend 10. Have you ever been in an environment where your boss has a new girlfriend or your girlfriend and they tell you how to run your business?
Transcript
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I'm Patrick Bedevi, your host of Value Team, and today I'm going to talk to you about 10
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Number one, this one's a little bit hard because so many people want to show off who they're
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dating, you know, their new boyfriend or their new girlfriend, I want to go out there and
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Never, ever show a boyfriend or girlfriend out too early.
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You don't know if it's going to work out or not.
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If you're having dinner at Ruth Chris or somewhere like that and somebody sees you, it's a different
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I'm here with my friend, we're having dinner together, right?
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But to go around in the office holding hands, kissing each other in front of everybody way
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too early, let me tell you why I don't like it.
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O'Neal asked me a question and said, Pat, what's your problem with this?
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When another person working with you sees you with too many new relationships, it doesn't
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show too much stability for me to be wanting to work with you.
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Matter of fact, it inspires somebody to do the same thing as well.
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And the more talent you want that's higher talent, they want to see somebody they're working
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Number two, okay, so you look good, you work out, he looks good, he works out, you're dating
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each other, you're dating him or her, whatever it is, right?
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And all of a sudden, like, oh my gosh, we have this passion, you know, we do so well with
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salsa and she's so feisty and firing, you know, I'm so freaking passionate, she's also passionate,
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We were passionate to the point where World War III was going to get started.
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You cannot confuse passion in the bedroom versus compatibility for years to come.
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If you're dating somebody because you're just making some passionate extracurricular activities
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But you're looking at somebody that's wanting to be your girlfriend, boyfriend, somebody going
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to come out in public and say, this is my girl, this is my man, then that's a whole different
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Ask yourself the question how compatible the two of you guys are together.
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Because if you're not, the time you're going to spend thinking about the issue or the argument
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you have with them because you are not compatible together is going to affect your business.
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So listen, this next one, I've seen it so many times and it's the exact formula for disaster.
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And she starts coming and I start asking her for advice, but she's never ran a business.
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She's never even been in our industry and start asking her advice and she comes in your work
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environment and she starts having authority to tell your employees and your salespeople
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Have you ever been in that kind of an environment where just because your boss has a new girlfriend
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or a new boyfriend and they tell you how to do business, but they've only been dating
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that person for nine months and they have no clue how your business works and that person
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has given him or her the authority to talk to you like they're your boss?
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How do you feel about it when that happens to you?
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Let me tell you, there's nothing more annoying than that.
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So, if you're dating somebody just because I love somebody, that doesn't mean you run the
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Just because you're my boyfriend or my girlfriend, that doesn't mean you know what you're doing
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to tell other people what to do, this is the business I've been running.
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Now, a year, two years, three years, four years, five years later and you're involved in a workplace
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for two years and everybody sees you as one, as somebody that's committed, complete different
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But go with your gut because you know the business.
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Your girlfriend, boyfriend, you're dating, is there somebody you love?
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So, here's another awkward thing happens when you date somebody new and you're kind of going
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She makes the money, she's the entrepreneur, he doesn't.
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And there is a feeling from the person that makes money that the other person is trying
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to take advantage of their status money-wise, okay?
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So, whatever position you're in, if you're the money person, the way you set it up, it's
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And if you're not the person making the money, you've got to set the tone that I have my own
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So, this is how I suggest going, if the relationship's taking place, with an earner and another person that
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We have three accounts, her account, his account, our account.
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We're going to go on a trip together because I want to get to know you better.
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By the way, I suggest this up front because the money person later on doesn't have to
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worry about the fact that this is the motivation of her or him because he just wanted the money.
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When you do that, if she wants to go buy a $5,000 Chanel person, no problem.
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If he wants to go buy $8,000 rims on his car, that's okay.
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No one is leaving feeling like one is taking advantage of the other.
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Now, later on, once it gets serious, then it's a different story.
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And by the way, even at that point, I still recommend three accounts because it minimizes arguments.
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Okay, so this next one is from many, many personal experiences with this.
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Sometime when you have a girlfriend and you're new, you're dating, you're running your business,
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You're like, hey, you know, I can take a long lunch.
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Let's meet at 12 o'clock, have lunch, and then let's go to my place.
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And he took a two-hour break or she took a two-hour break.
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I'm just going to cancel my appointments tonight.
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I'm going to let everybody know something came up.
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Hey, Mary, can you call everybody and tell them my appointments got canceled?
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Yeah, of course you're not going to disclose it and it's private because it's in your bedroom.
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You just went at it two or three times and you're tired.
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Your business is gone and you're broke and you're an employee.
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Because your schedule got screwed up the moment you started dating this new girlfriend of
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What if I kind of want to buy her a nice $3,000 purse to show her who I am?
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Listen, when you're with me, my girl has the best type of stuff.
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Yes, you walk around feeling so proud of yourself.
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You've officially set an expectation of if he buys me a Louis Vuitton bag two months into
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Next year, I want you to buy me a Louis Vuitton store.
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Yeah, you're going to go buy a Chanel $5,500 purse?
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If you go from a $3,500 Louis Vuitton purse to a $350 coach bag, guess what she's going
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You screwed up because you spoiled them too early.
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Rather than saying, you know, my girl who's going to be with me and is going to be with
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After she shows commitment, because the relationship is both ways.
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But five years from now, 10 years from now, 15 years from now.
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And if he or she sticks around, that may be a keeper.
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But if he or she doesn't stick around because she wants more Louis Vuitton bags, let her go
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And six months later, she's going to leave him for another Jimmy that's going to buy
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Meanwhile, you save yourself $22,000 on a bank account.
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I've been working with her for a while, mentored her.
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So anytime she calls, I'm talking to her, I'm always going to assume that, hey, maybe
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So then I told her, I said, so where are you at with relationships?
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Going very serious, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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So have you had the conversation with him about a prenup or how you guys are going to manage
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I said, I kind of know you love each other, but you got a kid and he's got kids.
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Like this kid is going to rely on you for the business that you run that makes you millions
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That's why a lot of people like to drink before they have sex the first time because they don't
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Because the first time is a little bit uncomfortable for some people.
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And they had the conversation and he was open to it.
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But she is now making the right sound decision that's going to protect her wealth, her net
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And this guy is showing commitment to say, I'm not here for your money.
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That is an ideal situation where I recommend entrepreneurs who are established that have
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already made their millions of dollars to protect their business and have this conversation
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with them saying, hey, if we get married, this is something that's important to me.
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If we get married, we're going to have my money, you're going to have your money, and then we're
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But if you want to go out there and buy a $6,000 wheels for your car that I don't want
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If I want to go out there and buy a $6,000 purse for myself, I buy it with my money.
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But if we want to buy a couch for the house and fix it up, it's $4,000, we buy it with
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Babe, I'm so glad we're on the same page together.
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Another less argument that we're going to have moving forward, because it's an argument
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I just gave you the playbook how to have the conversation about prenup and separate accounts.
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Say one of my executive or somebody or mentor I work with, I meet their new girl for the
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And she or one of our executives, it's a girl who's dating a guy for the first time
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And I automatically know that this guy complained about some part of our relationship in the
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So which means our relationship is already in a box because he's complaining about his
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work environment to people that he's dating or she's dating, right?
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Now, somebody must say, but then who am I supposed to talk to?
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Do you know how many times I have seen the person that's running a business prevent themselves
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from blowing up because they complain so much to the person that they sleep with every
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night to the point where the person that they sleep with every night, all they care
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about is for their partner to be happy and at peace.
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And indirectly, the new girlfriend or boyfriend that doesn't know their work environment, they
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push them away from the business, out, and they don't even know they're doing this.
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They'll say things like this, babe, I can't believe he did that to you.
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We've all been in that situation before, but I'm just telling you from experience.
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Friends, don't complain all the time about your workplace to your girl or your boyfriend.
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You're no longer working out in the morning because you're sleeping in.
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And you're no longer working out late at night because you want to see her.
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You know, this whole volcano thing that they do with the vanilla.
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Yeah, you gain 50 pounds having ice cream together.
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So just because you're dating somebody new and you finally have somebody locked down,
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Because running a business requires a lot of energy and stamina.
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By the way, stamina's going to help you in other aspects of your life as well.
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If you can find ways to work out together because you kind of want her or him to still
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So there are a lot of things that we do as an entrepreneur or yourself.
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You're running a business that's insider information that can't even be leaked to your boyfriend,
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girlfriend, maybe even your wife or your husband at times.
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A CIA agent can't bring everything home to their wife and they'll say, what happened today?
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I can't tell you, babe, but some strange things happened today.
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You know it's part of my obligation as a business.
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There are certain things that you can bring home.
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There are a lot of things I know about the people I do business with that is very deep
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that even my wife doesn't know about because that part is not part of her business.
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I'm not required to expose every single secret about everybody that what I do at the home office
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You expose that the next time you are having dinner with your CFO or somebody else.
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Your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your wife, your husband says, oh, so how is that thing
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I know you guys are dealing with such and such thing.
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Your CFO no longer trusts you to tell you everything because they know you leak everything home and
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they're worried because if one day your relationship with her or him doesn't work out, she could care
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less about exposing him because that's not value to her.
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Now you are not getting all the information that you need to know to grow your business
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You don't need to give inside information to everybody.
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It's only the people on the inside that need to know about it.
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Now if he, your partner, is on the inside or she is on the inside, different story.
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But if they're not, you don't need to expose it to everybody.
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So look, business is deep and there's a reason why most businesses don't last because the
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person leading it doesn't know how to process all these different issues and the person
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they date has a lot of influence on how their business grows.
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