Valuetainment - Episode 196： 10 Toughest Things to Do in Life

00:00:00.420 30 seconds. One time for the underdog. One time for the underdog. Ignition sequence start.

00:00:06.980 Let me see you put them up. Reach the sky, touch the stars up above. Cause it's one time for the underdog.

00:00:15.060 One time for the underdog.

00:00:17.400 I'm Patrick Bedevi, your host of Value Team, and today I'm going to share with you the 10 toughest things to do in life.

00:00:23.200 So let me get right into it. In no specific order, every one of these things are difficult. I'm just sharing it with you.

00:00:27.740 Okay, first one. Getting married. Marriage is not the easiest thing you'll do in life. Here's why.

00:00:32.560 How often have you argued with yourself? How often do you get along with yourself?

00:00:36.800 How often do you find yourself being annoyed with yourself for so many different reasons, right?

00:00:41.620 Have you done that before? Now think about it this way. Add another person on top of your own self.

00:00:46.460 So you don't get along with yourself, let alone find another person to get along with,

00:00:50.660 and then you have your financial issues, his financial issues, or her financial issues,

00:00:54.760 her family, his family, cousins, relatives, gossip times two and a half,

00:00:59.240 and then go out there and do your business, do all this other stuff that you have to do.

00:01:01.800 By the way, I did a video on this that gets into very specific details.

00:01:05.440 It's called Who to Marry and How to Marry.

00:01:08.220 If you haven't watched it, I highly recommend anybody who is single, not married yet, to go watch it.

00:01:15.080 If you are married, avoid this video at all costs.

00:01:18.200 If you're already married, it's just for the people that are not married yet.

00:01:20.980 Parenting is number two. Let me tell you why parenting is also on this list.

00:01:24.300 Think about it this way. You can work at a place that doesn't work out.

00:01:26.860 You can quit and go to another place, and that's fine.

00:01:29.020 You don't have to put up with that person ever again.

00:01:30.640 You can have a boyfriend, a girlfriend, break up.

00:01:32.380 Even a husband or a wife, you can have a divorce with, and you'll never have to deal with them ever again. 0.77

00:01:36.980 There's a lot of people that got a divorce, haven't seen their ex for 40, 50 years.

00:01:40.540 But if you have a kid, that's permanent.

00:01:42.420 That kid is going to be part of your life forever.

00:01:44.720 If you are somebody who wants to be known as a good parent, and you want to do your responsibilities of being a parent, your heart, one is here.

00:01:51.440 If you have one kid, there's another heart that's walking all over the place.

00:01:54.220 If you have two, three, you got three, four of them all over the place, and you're always thinking about them.

00:01:57.460 You can be in the middle of an office, you're doing whatever you're doing, you're still thinking about it.

00:02:00.480 You're wondering how they're doing, how's their health, you know, what they're going through, are they doing okay, how they're doing, whatever it is for the rest of your life.

00:02:06.060 Parenting doesn't come with a manual.

00:02:07.940 You kind of have to figure out a way how to parent by itself.

00:02:11.260 You can read all these other books, there's just a lot of surprises that comes on top of that.

00:02:14.720 So it's one of the most difficult things you'll ever do in your life.

00:02:16.980 Number three, becoming an entrepreneur has got to be one of the hardest things you'll ever do.

00:02:20.760 This is why.

00:02:21.420 You have no idea what it takes to run a business if you've never ran one before.

00:02:25.440 You could have been, I know many great executives, but they were lousy entrepreneurs.

00:02:29.780 I know many great salespeople who were incredible at selling, but they were lousy entrepreneurs.

00:02:34.900 Imagine if you have a personal life and you've got a wife and kids and family and a husband, all this other stuff you're handling, right?

00:02:39.020 You got another family that you're running as well that's relying on you to make all the right decisions, to stretch the dollar, to make sure you don't make any bad mistakes that cause us to business, to go out of business.

00:02:47.440 Half the time, you have no clue what to do because you've never been there before.

00:02:51.880 Number four, health.

00:02:53.140 You don't ever think about health unless something bad happens to you when it comes down to it.

00:02:56.880 If you've always been healthy, you're like, oh, whatever, health is something your grandma tells you, take care of your health.

00:03:01.680 You don't need to think about your health.

00:03:03.160 I'm 27 years old, I'm always going to be healthy.

00:03:05.420 Five years ago, all of a sudden, I catch myself, I can't talk.

00:03:08.900 I can't even raise my voice.

00:03:09.960 Matter of fact, go watch Valuetainment videos when they used to be two minutes with Pat and listen to my voice.

00:03:14.140 My voice coming out, you don't even hear it.

00:03:16.140 I couldn't even come out and speak to you.

00:03:18.060 So it happened for a week, for two weeks.

00:03:19.660 We didn't think it was a big deal.

00:03:20.540 I started drinking honey, all this stuff.

00:03:21.840 Three weeks, four weeks, a month, two months, three months, six months this is happening and it's getting worse.

00:03:26.300 I go to the doctor, he looks at it, he says, this may be cancerous.

00:03:29.000 And he looks at my tonsils here.

00:03:30.340 He says, this may be cancerous.

00:03:31.540 We need to do surgery immediately.

00:03:32.740 We do a surgery, they cut it out, they said, we don't know what it is yet, but we're going to let you know.

00:03:38.040 I'm in Colombia when I get the news and they tell me that this is not cancer, it's benign.

00:03:42.760 But I couldn't talk for a month straight on Thanksgiving.

00:03:46.760 Thanksgiving to me was a week after the surgery and I wasn't able to speak for one straight month.

00:03:52.580 So at Thanksgiving, I'm sitting there, everybody's saying, Pat, finally we get to do the talking and you have to listen to all of us because you can't say nothing back.

00:03:59.860 I had every single relative talking smack to me on Thanksgiving.

00:04:02.780 It was probably their best Thanksgiving they ever had.

00:04:05.780 But you know what happened to me?

00:04:06.540 Here's what happened to me.

00:04:07.360 In that month, I told myself, wow, we don't even think about it.

00:04:12.220 We get paid to talk.

00:04:13.300 I'm in the business of talking to people, selling.

00:04:16.040 If I can't talk, can I really express my feelings to another person through text or communication?

00:04:20.580 Imagine I'm trying to sell something.

00:04:21.900 Here, can you read this please?

00:04:23.460 Can you read that please?

00:04:24.500 Wouldn't happen.

00:04:25.180 This is a gift.

00:04:26.180 Health, you're young, you think you're infamous for the rest of your life, you're untouchable.

00:04:29.240 Believe me, it's one of the most important things.

00:04:31.240 That is why it's important to take care of it while you're younger so you don't have to deal with it while you're in your 70s and your 80s.

00:04:37.200 Number five, overcome an addiction.

00:04:39.320 Now keep this in mind.

00:04:40.260 Everybody you know is addicted to something.

00:04:42.280 Let me explain to you what I mean by this.

00:04:43.540 Some people are addicted to TV.

00:04:44.920 Some people are addicted to video games, to porn, to sports, to athletics, to ESPN, to sex, to business, to making money.

00:04:51.580 A lot of different types of addictions.

00:04:52.960 And they're not necessarily going to hurt you tremendously.

00:04:55.960 But addictions to things like drugs and alcohol that can really ruin your life.

00:05:00.060 I remember a close friend of mine.

00:05:01.140 And this friend of mine was at a point where he couldn't give up Vicodin at all.

00:05:04.760 We were at a restaurant and we are inside.

00:05:07.280 And we just came back after I was trying to introduce him to a pastor that could work on him.

00:05:10.700 And he cried two hours straight in front of this pastor in Pasadena, right?

00:05:13.660 And we come back.

00:05:14.560 We're sitting there at the restaurant all the way in the back.

00:05:16.420 So this friend of mine goes to his car to get something out of his car.

00:05:19.820 I said, I'm going to follow him.

00:05:20.500 I want to see what this guy's going to do.

00:05:21.480 I follow him outside and I come to the side of the car and I'm just looking around to see what he's doing.

00:05:25.460 And I noticed he took the pill bottle and he opened it up, put five Vicodins in his mouth.

00:05:29.840 He's about to go like this.

00:05:31.120 Boom! 0.99

00:05:31.640 I held his wrist.

00:05:32.440 I said, what are you doing?

00:05:33.020 He said, what do you mean what am I doing?

00:05:33.980 I said, what are you doing?

00:05:34.660 I took the pill bottle, put it in my pocket.

00:05:36.200 I took the pills, put it in my pocket.

00:05:37.400 And in that specific moment, I saw a grown man go through every single possible emotion.

00:05:44.020 You can manipulate somebody else into giving you something.

00:05:46.960 I love you.

00:05:47.960 Give it to me.

00:05:48.700 I'm going to kill you.

00:05:49.640 How dare you take this away from me?

00:05:51.120 In every possible emotion, you can think about somebody going through to manipulate him,

00:05:55.580 to giving it to him.

00:05:56.400 I was watching him going through this whole thing.

00:05:57.800 My friend's standing there.

00:05:58.620 I said, we're not going to give it to you.

00:05:59.680 And we went through the process.

00:06:01.140 Now in this scenario, unfortunately, we took him to a rehabilitation center.

00:06:04.700 14 days came out.

00:06:05.620 He was good for a week.

00:06:06.460 And all of a sudden, he passed away.

00:06:08.200 He was a bad story on how it ended.

00:06:10.140 But this is the point.

00:06:11.000 I say this to you because two years prior to that, he was already picking up some other drug

00:06:16.300 that he was working way up.

00:06:17.400 And everything was gradual.

00:06:18.620 And I kept telling him, avoid this stuff.

00:06:20.540 Stay away from this stuff.

00:06:21.500 Look, this is the point of the story with addiction.

00:06:23.260 I've seen many, many people be able to overcome it.

00:06:26.480 Many, many people overcome it.

00:06:28.700 I've seen many people say, I am willing to exchange this.

00:06:31.760 Bad habit I have.

00:06:32.540 And they go through a certain system.

00:06:33.760 There's many great organizations that help out.

00:06:35.560 I share this with you for a couple reasons.

00:06:37.140 Number one, anticipation.

00:06:38.300 If you haven't touched it, don't even think about getting close to it.

00:06:41.340 If you have messed with it, do whatever you can to control your discipline and get away

00:06:44.940 from it.

00:06:45.320 If you're in too deep, go seek help immediately because this thing can completely ruin your

00:06:50.180 life and hurt a lot of your loved ones and you don't even know about it.

00:06:52.760 Number six, the loss of a loved one.

00:06:54.480 Which, by the way, it is something every one of us is going to experience at some point

00:06:59.380 of your life if you keep living, right?

00:07:01.400 Think about it.

00:07:01.880 I'm in the life insurance business.

00:07:03.280 This is what I do for a living.

00:07:04.360 And I sit with thousands of families we sit with and we tell them about the fact that

00:07:07.820 God forbid something was to happen to your breadwinner one day, what are you going to

00:07:10.740 be doing, right?

00:07:11.400 And we can't replace this person emotionally, the loss that you're going to have.

00:07:15.140 But to make sure we can give you some income or some money for you to be able to take

00:07:18.900 your time mourning for the loss of your loved one, here's why you need a half a million

00:07:22.340 dollar policy.

00:07:23.080 That's the business side of it.

00:07:24.540 You know how many times I've heard stories when somebody comes back and they die and nobody

00:07:28.280 expected and it happened out of nowhere and they didn't think anything was going to

00:07:31.440 happen?

00:07:31.940 Because this can happen to the best of us, right?

00:07:33.640 Many people have experienced it personally and again, this is why the key is anticipation

00:07:38.620 to know that every one of these things is possible.

00:07:41.540 If you just kind of look at it and say, it'll never happen to our family because we're so

00:07:44.140 young, you got to be prepared for it, both emotionally and financially.

00:07:48.080 Number seven, leaving people behind.

00:07:50.280 And what do I mean by leaving people behind?

00:07:51.860 Listen, whatever you want to do in your life, you got to kind of leave your comfort zone,

00:07:55.420 the friends, the family, the cousins that you hang out with all the time that know you

00:07:58.580 for who you are.

00:07:59.320 You're saying, this is who I may be today, but man, I want this life.

00:08:02.440 And for you to do this, you got to leave them behind.

00:08:04.800 Do you know how many friends I had that when I was deciding to go and spread my wings, this

00:08:10.160 was the one line.

00:08:10.940 You ready?

00:08:11.380 Here's a line.

00:08:12.020 Hey Pat, so have you made your millions yet?

00:08:15.060 Pat thinks he's going to be a millionaire, guys.

00:08:17.380 Where's the millions, huh?

00:08:18.840 I used to see you drive a Ford Expedition.

00:08:20.860 Now you come with a Ford Focus.

00:08:22.420 You are definitely becoming a million.

00:08:23.880 It looks like you're going backwards more than anything.

00:08:26.000 I remember all these stories, every one of them.

00:08:27.780 I went from a big Ford Expedition, I'd go to all the parties, everybody would go in my

00:08:31.400 car, and we'd go together.

00:08:32.580 I lost everything, 49K in debt, and boom, I pull up in a Ford Focus that I can barely

00:08:37.100 fit in.

00:08:37.600 Everyone would say, this is the guy that's going to be a millionaire.

00:08:39.680 You're the guy that's going to be somebody we should follow and do business with.

00:08:42.380 Give me a flipping break.

00:08:43.500 And I was hated by my friends for five years, because I had to leave them behind.

00:08:47.480 You want to come with me?

00:08:48.180 Let's go.

00:08:48.480 You don't want to come with me?

00:08:49.020 No problem.

00:08:49.380 I got to go do what I got to do.

00:08:50.460 You ain't never going to pay my bills, and I'm not paying your bills.

00:08:52.600 I got to go do my part.

00:08:53.460 I have to go out there and do it.

00:08:54.200 It is not an easy thing to do, but if you're watching this, you're going through it, if

00:08:57.840 you truly are serious with the effort backed up to it, go out there and get exactly what

00:09:01.940 you want.

00:09:02.380 Number eight, handling success for the very first time.

00:09:05.320 Now, some people may say, Pat, what do you mean this is difficult?

00:09:08.160 One, the moment you start having success, all eyes on you.

00:09:12.320 Everything is on you about a small little mistake you made, they tweet about it.

00:09:16.600 Small little thing you say it's off, family frowns upon it.

00:09:19.220 Here's a few other things.

00:09:20.200 So, oh my gosh, I like your nice car.

00:09:22.160 I noticed you bought a nice house.

00:09:23.400 We're really going through some tough times in our family.

00:09:25.160 Can you give us $50,000?

00:09:26.680 Oh, yes, mom.

00:09:29.500 Yes, uncle.

00:09:31.280 What should I do, mom?

00:09:32.600 Well, that's your family.

00:09:33.360 How do you not give your uncle?

00:09:34.480 Why do you make all this money?

00:09:35.640 You make all this money so you can help your family, right?

00:09:37.820 It's the right thing to do.

00:09:38.980 And so you listen to your mom, your dad.

00:09:40.280 They've never made millions before.

00:09:41.440 Here's 50K.

00:09:42.420 Here's 20K.

00:09:43.420 Here's 80K.

00:09:44.360 Here's 70K.

00:09:45.360 Here's minus $300,000 of debt again.

00:09:48.280 So you're back to score one.

00:09:49.200 Why?

00:09:49.500 You don't know how to handle success for the very first time.

00:09:51.360 So what do you do about it?

00:09:52.160 Anticipate all this stuff.

00:09:53.640 And once you get it, learn to say no.

00:09:56.040 And learn to say, I don't lend money, but I'll give you $50.

00:09:59.720 You want $1,000?

00:10:00.980 I want to lend you $1,000, but I'll give you $100.

00:10:03.480 You want $50,000?

00:10:04.900 I don't have $50,000.

00:10:06.320 But guess what?

00:10:06.820 Let me think about it.

00:10:07.720 Let me think about it.

00:10:08.680 Let me think about it.

00:10:09.620 You'll become a master at saying, let me think about it.

00:10:11.760 Let me think about it.

00:10:12.340 Let me think about it.

00:10:13.080 Followed up by, no, not at this time, and you move on.

00:10:15.120 Until people realize they can't constantly call you about money.

00:10:17.300 Number nine, trust has got to be one of the hardest things to do.

00:10:20.340 Here's why.

00:10:20.840 It's very easy when you're a kid, and you have your first puppy love, and you love her,

00:10:25.800 and you don't think anybody's going to do anything to your life.

00:10:28.180 You ever seen that movie, Couples Retreat, when they're sitting down with the therapist,

00:10:31.700 and the therapist says, you know, you're taking the heart, doing nothing to the heart,

00:10:34.680 and boom, somebody breaks your heart.

00:10:36.160 That's what happens a lot of times when you're the first time going through somebody crushing

00:10:39.720 your heart.

00:10:40.240 After that, you know who you trust?

00:10:41.920 Nobody.

00:10:42.880 You don't trust any of your next girlfriend, your next boyfriend.

00:10:45.800 You think everybody is going to take advantage of you, and that rebuilding of trust is a

00:10:50.880 difficult thing.

00:10:51.380 This happens in business, with parents, with family, with mom, with boyfriend, with friends.

00:10:55.520 This happens with everybody, and by the way, probably the best thing that happens to you

00:10:58.720 is somebody that does something to you that makes you lose trust.

00:11:01.320 Why?

00:11:01.580 The sooner it happens, the sooner you'll know signs, the sooner you'll know what things to

00:11:06.460 take a different approach with to prepare in case this does happen, but then eventually

00:11:10.400 you also realize, life is about trust.

00:11:12.380 You know, there's a lot of time when we'll sit with people, and we're sitting down doing

00:11:14.900 agreements, arrangements, you write it on a piece of paper.

00:11:17.600 You know why you write a piece of paper and put a contract in place in business?

00:11:20.380 Because that person had an experience that they didn't trust somebody, and the other

00:11:23.700 person has this one, they say, listen, I don't want to have to go through this with you

00:11:26.400 ever again, or anybody, if you want to just put it on contract, yeah, we're good to

00:11:28.820 go, let's get to work. 0.91

00:11:29.560 Very simple.

00:11:30.440 This is going to happen in business.

00:11:32.340 It is going to happen in life.

00:11:33.760 But if you anticipate it, and you have ways to protect it, you're good to go.

00:11:38.080 And last but not least, number 10, massive failure.

00:11:41.380 Listen, I experienced this at the highest level in business early on, because I went

00:11:46.520 up, and I was the one everybody was talking about, and then, boom, I had a big fall.

00:11:50.920 Such a fall that it completely messed with me to the point where I was hiding from the

00:11:55.380 world for one month.

00:11:56.580 I didn't want to leave the house.

00:11:57.600 I don't want to talk to anybody.

00:11:58.760 I don't want to pick up calls.

00:11:59.820 I didn't want anybody to see my face.

00:12:01.340 My facial hair was growing.

00:12:03.100 I wasn't wanting to see anybody.

00:12:05.220 I was just accumulating debt over debt over debt.

00:12:08.280 And so when this happened, I had to figure out a way how to make a comeback.

00:12:11.400 Matter of fact, I did a video once called, How to Make a Comeback as an Entrepreneur.

00:12:15.100 If you are going through this right now, and you want to find out more specifically how

00:12:18.220 to get out of it, click on the link below to watch that video.

00:12:20.380 That video is specifically made for you.

00:12:22.940 Thanks, everybody, for listening, and by the way, if you haven't already subscribed to

00:12:26.300 Valuetainment on iTunes, please do so.

00:12:29.160 Give us a five-star.

00:12:30.560 Write a review if you haven't already, and if you have any questions for me that you may

00:12:33.860 have, you can always find me on Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube.

00:12:38.100 Just search my name, Patrick MidDavid, and I actually do respond back when you snap me

00:12:42.840 or send me a message on Instagram.

00:12:44.980 With that being said, have a great day today.

00:12:46.720 Take care, everybody.

00:12:47.440 Bye-bye.

00:12:47.680 Bye-bye.

00:12:47.720 Bye-bye.

00:12:47.780 Bye-bye.

00:12:49.780 Bye-bye.

00:12:51.780 Bye-bye.

00:12:52.280 Bye-bye.

00:12:52.940 Bye-bye.

Valuetainment - October 25, 2018

Episode 196： 10 Toughest Things to Do in Life

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