Valuetainment - Episode 199： 32 Difficult Personalities to Work With

00:00:00.380 30 seconds. One time for the underdog. Ignition sequence start. Let me see you put them up. Reach the sky, touch the stars up above. Cause it's one time for the underdog. One time for the underdog.

00:00:17.280 I'm Patrick Bedeb, your host of ITM, and today I'm going to talk to you about 32 difficult personalities to work with.

00:00:22.680 Here's the part you got to realize. You heard what I said when I said everybody is difficult to somebody, right?

00:00:27.480 But there is good difficult, there is bad difficult. You'll see what I mean by them.

00:00:31.660 Some of them I'm going to explain to you and some of these are pertaining to me as well.

00:00:34.300 So as we're watching this, the part I don't want you to do, I don't want you to just watch this and say,

00:00:38.820 Oh, that's how she is. Oh, that's how my mom is. Oh, that's how my dad is. Oh, that's how this person is.

00:00:43.340 Because everybody, all the people on the outside, they ain't changing.

00:00:46.460 You got to look for the ones that's you and say, what do I need to do to fix this part about me

00:00:50.840 that is not a good, difficult personality, that hopefully will help you do better with the people that you're dealing with.

00:00:56.620 So let me get right into it. Mario and I sat down, and by the way, every one of these personalities,

00:01:01.060 there's a name right next to it. Some of them are my name, some of them are other people's names,

00:01:05.440 some of them is Mario's name, believe it or not.

00:01:07.400 But it's everybody that we know that we kind of put it up, then all of a sudden categories came out.

00:01:10.940 Number one, attitude. I mean, I've dealt with a lot of difficult people, but the simplest one is

00:01:14.720 somebody who's got a pessimistic, negative attitude that's always complaining,

00:01:20.180 and it's a downer all the time. Very difficult personality to be around.

00:01:24.640 Number two, passive. You'll be in a meeting, and you're expecting people to participate and give

00:01:29.040 their ideas. They don't say anything. They're passive. Somebody's pushing them, and they don't

00:01:33.460 voice their opinions. They're passive. Somebody is challenging them. They don't say anything.

00:01:37.580 They're passive. That becomes difficult because the value, everybody has some kind of a value

00:01:41.700 to bring in a meeting. We're not able to get the value out of that person because they're being

00:01:45.580 passive. So if somebody that's passive, you're thinking to yourself, I'm kind of a passive personality.

00:01:49.600 By the way, most of you watching are probably going to have this being as one of them, majority,

00:01:53.820 a lot of people. You've got to kind of get yourself out there because if you're sitting

00:01:57.520 in a meeting, you don't voice your opinion, nobody sees you as a potential leader to come

00:02:01.420 up. Someone's got to know what is on your mind. So you've got to come prepared and say,

00:02:05.640 here's what I think we need to do to improve this department, improve this business, improve

00:02:09.260 this company, improve this division, whatever it is it is. So being passive sometimes is one

00:02:14.440 fastest way to not get promoted or grow in your business. Number three, too emotional. We've had people in the past

00:02:19.360 before. When I say too emotional, we had somebody that we fired and we were talking about a really

00:02:24.420 nice guy, just a sweetheart of a guy, but too often things would happen. He would just start crying. It

00:02:29.240 was way too much where it was every single time something happened. It was way too much. I've dealt

00:02:33.920 with these types of personalities probably 20, 30, 40 times in my career where it was way too emotional.

00:02:39.620 And when that happens, here's what takes place. When somebody immediately starts crying,

00:02:43.300 the opposition is afraid of giving you real counsel and feedback because they're thinking

00:02:48.760 to themselves, if I say it, there's going to be more crying. And people don't like to be around

00:02:52.260 other people that constantly cry in the first place because it's not a habit of a leader. So

00:02:56.820 sometimes being too emotional, it's very difficult to work with somebody like that. So the solution

00:03:00.620 typically for a company becomes, we just have to replace them and get them to another place.

00:03:04.440 If that's you, keep in mind, in a business environment, in an environment that's growing,

00:03:09.260 being too emotional doesn't serve you at all. Next, number four, outdo you. You ever seen a movie,

00:03:14.240 Boogie Nights, right? Boogie Nights is what it's called. And there was a scene, so funny. We had

00:03:19.980 a guy named Paddock in the army. He says, Pad, this movie came out. We got to watch this movie. So

00:03:24.920 all the guys, we have no clue what the movie is. 30 of us, we sit there and we buy this movie from

00:03:29.200 PX, which is Army's Walmart. And we put it and we watch. We're like, what are we watching over here?

00:03:33.820 It's the story of a porn star. I said, but it's Mark Wahlberg. It's insane. You know, it's great. And all the

00:03:38.820 stuff that he's doing. And there's a scene where the guy says, so what do you bench? He says, I

00:03:44.220 bench 185. He says, what do you bench? I bench 190. Oh, okay. That's cool. Hey, so how high do you

00:03:50.200 jump? You know, I jump this much. What do you curl? I curl this. What do you, you know, squat? I squat

00:03:56.440 225, squat 230. You ever met people like that? They're annoying, aren't they? It's always like they

00:04:00.980 got to outdo you. But although it's negative, let me tell you the positive side of it. They're

00:04:05.240 competitive. You know what I'm saying? They're always like, you tell a story. I remember,

00:04:08.800 one time I was going in and here's what happened. The car was going so fast. Oh my gosh, let

00:04:12.580 me tell you what happened with me. So it's semi-annoying, but if it's competitive in

00:04:16.560 all the other areas and they perform, I'm okay with it. I can deal with that as long

00:04:20.300 as that competitiveness bleeds into performance as well. But there's a part of it that can

00:04:24.820 be difficult at times. Number five, aggressive. Aggressive is somebody that wants to come in,

00:04:28.940 take charge. Here's what we're doing. This is what we're doing next. Here's what we're

00:04:32.140 going. People, somebody that wants to take charge. That could be positive, but that can also

00:04:36.300 allow other people to not really voice their opinions at times. So it can be negative and

00:04:40.200 positive. So number six, too salesy. Somebody who's always selling. I'm talking everything

00:04:46.620 to them as sales. By the way, I think everything in life is sales. But there's everything in

00:04:51.140 life as sales, then there's saying it to everybody 24-7. I've had guys in my life that, oh, he's

00:04:57.780 got my money. I've got to go get this guy. That guy's got this. Everything is about that

00:05:01.800 all the time. It's a little too much. It's a little too much. Now, let me give you the

00:05:06.780 other side. Remember how I said positive, negative? That can help in the world of sales. But not

00:05:11.580 necessarily if you're trying to run a big business and allowing to have other talent to come to

00:05:15.900 you. If it's way too salesy, sometimes people don't trust that personality too often. So

00:05:20.320 it could help in a sales business when you're solo by yourself. But to build a massive empire,

00:05:24.500 maybe it's going to hurt you a little bit. Number seven, fake. People who are fake. We've done

00:05:28.100 business with a lot of fake people. That's just very easy. They look at you in your face.

00:05:32.160 And they tell you everything they want. You want to hear from them. And then all of a sudden,

00:05:34.780 they're a whole different person an hour later, two hours later, the next day. And they're like,

00:05:38.100 wait a minute, what happened? Didn't we just have a meeting? And they time it. And they time when

00:05:42.320 they want to tell you this. It's like, you know, kids, when they know when to ask you for, you know,

00:05:46.240 money and that, can I get this? And they time it like, when you're happy, let me go ask them.

00:05:50.140 There's a little bit of fakeness there, but it's very difficult to do business with fake people because

00:05:54.340 you have no idea who's going to show up the next day. Eight, everything is a joke. Now, let me tell you about

00:05:58.160 everything is a joke. This is fine if I'm going to a bar with you and we're hanging out and you

00:06:02.980 make me laugh for five hours straight. But there's a different story with everything is a joke.

00:06:08.520 Meaning, let me explain to you what I mean by this. I work with a guy in our office.

00:06:12.820 I can't think of a single time. Mario reminded me of this. I can't think of a single time that

00:06:17.360 he wouldn't do a Borat sign. It was like, well, what was the lines? Mario was what?

00:06:21.240 I like. I like. I like. And then what was the other one? Very nice. Very nice. How much?

00:06:25.820 Every single time. So eventually no one took that seriously. Nobody takes it seriously if you're

00:06:31.660 constantly joking around. Because if you're constantly joking around, it's being overcompensated

00:06:37.000 for something that's lacking here. And humor is great to break the ice, but 24-7, there's some

00:06:43.960 missing there. So humor is fine, but not overly because it kind of takes away from serious sense

00:06:48.800 of getting a job done as well. And number nine is overpower opposite sex. I've dealt with women 1.00

00:06:54.180 who enjoy to overpower men, and I've dealt with men who enjoy to overpower women. I've dealt with both.

00:07:01.840 Neither is effective, just so you know. Now, it is effective if you just want to attract women, 0.99

00:07:07.820 and you are a woman. And it is effective if you're a man, and you just want to attract 0.56

00:07:13.260 other men. That can be effective. But it's not effective if you're trying to build a business

00:07:17.720 of husbands, wives, women, men, single, married, it doesn't matter. Everything, you've got to be

00:07:24.420 able to learn how to deal with everybody. But I've dealt with some people that they just want to

00:07:28.240 control the opposite sex 24-7. Ten, condescending. I've dealt with a guy like this in the past before, 1.00

00:07:34.540 and we have some of this at the home office as well. Sometimes as leaders, you know, we can be

00:07:37.960 condescending ourselves, and we don't even know it, and you have to catch yourself. It happens a lot.

00:07:41.960 Now, sometimes in certain environments, it's a lot like, I was in the military before, and

00:07:45.840 sports, and it's constant shots, and sarcasm, and condescending, and comments, and remarks. So,

00:07:52.940 there were people in the military, I remember vividly, there were people in the military who

00:07:57.240 couldn't handle it, who were ETS'd early, less than an honorable, because they couldn't handle them.

00:08:01.980 They wanted to get out because it was way too much of that. But the military is 24-7. I've heard kids

00:08:06.760 who play on sports teams who cannot handle when their coach or other players are like that.

00:08:11.920 And so, oh, that was a little bit too much for me. But in the sports world environment,

00:08:15.640 sometimes it gets very competitive, and the smack talking takes place. I mean, if you look at

00:08:19.440 basketball, let me tell you, Draymond Green probably does this all the time, and he gets under other

00:08:24.520 people's skin. You know who else? I can name you 20, 30, 40 people in the world of sports who do this.

00:08:30.020 Is that a positive? Is that a negative? It can be a positive, and it can be a negative. Very simple.

00:08:35.940 That could work for you in a very competitive environment. It can hurt you because you're

00:08:39.920 going to lose some of the people that they're developing process of becoming competitive or

00:08:43.800 coming up, maybe a slower pace, so you will lose them, where another environment of the

00:08:48.920 condescending was lower, though people will stick around. So, it's all about who you want to keep in

00:08:51.780 the environment that you're building right now. Number 11, know it all. Uncoachable. They know

00:08:55.760 everything. They simply know everything. You cannot teach them anything. They will

00:08:59.800 always brag about their degree or how smart they are. They will always remind you that

00:09:03.960 they're smarter than you. By the way, I'm also good in math. I'm also smart. I'm also

00:09:07.560 this. You're not the only person. It's know-it-all. I know what I'm doing. You can't

00:09:11.440 give any direction to them. So now, is that a good or a bad? That can be a good, and that

00:09:16.300 can be a bad. What do I mean by that? I don't mind a person that's uncoachable to

00:09:20.640 another person that's a small thinker. What do I mean by this? Let me explain to you. Say I'm raised by

00:09:24.400 parents who are small thinkers, and they keep telling me to go take the safe route.

00:09:28.340 And I'm saying, no, I don't want to listen to it. I don't want to do that. Yeah, but

00:09:31.780 you got to go and get a degree, but I'm not built to go to school. I'm telling you, I

00:09:35.460 don't want to do anything to do with school, but you got to go to college. I don't

00:09:38.800 want to go to college. That uncoachability can be fine if the kid knows exactly what

00:09:44.760 he or she wants, and they're not lazy. Now, for some of you that say, I relate to this, Pat.

00:09:48.860 That's exactly who I am. But you play video games 24-7, and you're lazy, and you put on a lot of weight.

00:09:53.820 At 18 years old, I'm not talking about you because you're lazy, period. I'm talking about

00:09:58.500 the kid that at 14 years old has already started selling. At 12 years that he was selling stuff

00:10:03.200 at a lemonade stand, he washes cars, he goes around cleaning stuff. The kid works hard all

00:10:08.280 the time, makes money on Saturdays and Sundays. If this kid wants to tell his parents, I want

00:10:13.080 to be an entrepreneur, that may be a good sign of uncoachability, right? So there is good,

00:10:17.100 there is bad. It's not all bad in that area. Number 12, uncommitted. Afraid to commit.

00:10:21.060 There's always an out. I've dealt with people like this for many, many years. Let me tell

00:10:26.060 you how I handle these uncommitted people. It was always about trying to convert them,

00:10:30.740 right? But I'm telling you, it's good. But you got to get it. Can you imagine if you

00:10:34.740 do it? Constantly. Eventually, I realized this is how they are in their personal lives.

00:10:40.660 This is how they are in their business lives. This is how they are with their friends, with

00:10:43.840 their girlfriends, with their wives, with their husbands, with everybody. They don't commit.

00:10:48.260 So which means what? There's always an out. So no matter how much you pour into them,

00:10:52.240 and the more you pour into them, the more they think you need them, the more they try

00:10:56.380 to abuse you. Does that make sense? So you have to be very neutral with these personalities

00:11:00.380 because they're frightened by committing, and there's always an out for them. So you have

00:11:05.820 to be very nimble when you dance with these guys. Don't get too close. Don't get too emotional.

00:11:08.780 Don't get too friendly with them because they're probably going to end up taking advantage of

00:11:11.740 you and mess with your mind. Give a distance to them. Let them do what they want. If they

00:11:15.380 don't want to commit, no problem. It's all good. Go out there and get it. Odds are they're probably

00:11:19.620 not going to commit to anything that they don't want to commit to. Leave them alone. Give them

00:11:23.900 direction. Create a condition for them to grow. If they want to do it, great. If they don't,

00:11:27.940 they will move on and they'll do their own part. Number 13, enjoy rejecting everything. I've sat in

00:11:32.820 boardrooms. No matter what I do, come up. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. By the way, nothing wrong with

00:11:40.380 this. If it's no, no, no, no, because you're trying to stay with your money and you're not

00:11:44.920 trying to say yes to everything. There's a part of it that's good to say no, but to always say no

00:11:50.280 and reject every single idea 24-7, what that does is, yes, risk may be minimized, but there's a

00:11:58.000 possibility of that upside opportunity that was coming your way that you're not going to get

00:12:01.800 because you always say no, right? And sometimes somebody in a boardroom, an ideation type of an

00:12:06.220 environment that's always rejecting every idea, they bring morale down. Morale comes down. So a

00:12:11.580 lot of times you've got to take those guys out of the ideation room and when you're coming up with

00:12:16.180 ideas, come up with people that are coming up with positive ideas, then when you need a devil's

00:12:20.440 advocate, bring that person inside and say, tell us all the reasons why this is not going to work.

00:12:24.180 Believe me, they're going to find all the reasons why that's not going to work. Sometimes you're going

00:12:28.560 to have a lot of people that are going to give you reasons that it's going to work and you need to be

00:12:31.680 able to hear somebody that's going to tell you the 20 reasons that it's not going to work. I have somebody at work

00:12:35.760 we're here at the home office. Let me tell you what I do. Any positive ideas that comes up, it's

00:12:40.240 automatic finding the negative in it every single time. So I've told Mario, until we have all the

00:12:44.840 information, we don't need to let that loose to that person until we have figured out exactly what

00:12:50.160 it is. Then we do and then let them come in and break the whole thing down and tell us what's going

00:12:54.700 on with that place and then we move on. Okay, number 14, unclear. People who are unclear, they don't know

00:12:59.060 what they want. You can't lead a person that's unclear. You can't do business with somebody that's

00:13:03.300 unclear. You can't be in a relationship with somebody that's unclear. There's not a lot of

00:13:06.920 things you can do with somebody that's unclear. Number 15, arrogant, arrogant, arrogant. This is

00:13:12.340 somebody that thinks they're above everybody. You know how I said earlier, things are smarter than

00:13:16.300 everybody. This is slightly different with arrogance because it's like a, it's an aura about

00:13:20.760 them. There's this level of arrogance about them that makes it difficult for other people who want

00:13:25.240 to collaborate. Number 16, character issues. Let me tell you what I mean by character issues. Stealing,

00:13:29.280 cheating, lying, criminal activity, forgery, anything that they do that hurts the entire

00:13:37.680 company, you cannot tolerate any of this stuff. You got to figure that out early because a lot

00:13:42.380 of times, I've seen many big empires, many, many big empires fall because somebody tolerated another

00:13:47.940 person's bad character and bad habit. It didn't show up in a year. It didn't show up in five years,

00:13:53.400 but it did show up in 10 years. And when it did, the empire was bigger. So the fall was a bigger fall

00:13:59.240 than a smaller fall. But I've seen this many, many times. You cannot compromise character issues

00:14:03.520 within a company. Number 17, triangulate. Let me tell you what's triangulate. So for instance,

00:14:08.580 imagine you're doing business with somebody and they want me to make something happen, right?

00:14:15.020 They'll go to Mario. They'll go to Tom. They'll go to, let's just say, somebody else at the home office.

00:14:20.440 They will pin the three together and they'll call me and they'll say, Pat said this, or hey, Mario

00:14:26.580 said this, and they'll pin the three people together to get a decision done. And then we now have

00:14:31.880 conflicts against each other because this person is triangulating, okay? We've had people like this

00:14:36.380 in the past before, and the way you have to address it, the way I address it all the time, the guys at

00:14:40.400 the home office know what I do. I call the individual, I say, listen, we are not fans of triangulating.

00:14:44.880 As you're going through making decisions on things like this, here's what needs to take place.

00:14:49.400 If it's a decision that involves three different departments, I want everybody to be involved in

00:14:53.600 the communication before we decide what we're doing. And I'm the last person. And the last person

00:14:58.380 that comes to me is, they come give me an update, then we get on a call, then we make a decision.

00:15:02.300 But do not triangulate because you're pinning people against each other. And there are some people

00:15:06.520 that do a lot of triangulating. It's not an effective method to bring people together in a work

00:15:11.240 environment. Number 19, liar. I mean, that's pretty easy. I did a video once. Mario, what was that one

00:15:15.480 video we did? Who should you trust in business? That's right. Who should you trust in business

00:15:19.580 was an episode that we did. And I talked about different types of lying. And that gets a little

00:15:23.420 bit more into detail if you do want to watch that. But, you know, it's difficult to deal with people

00:15:27.560 that always lie or constantly lie. There's a different style of them. Some of them are petty

00:15:31.820 and they're not that big of a deal. But some of them are very big. You got to know which level of

00:15:35.220 lying it is. So if you want to find out what it is, go watch that episode. Number 20, people who hate losing.

00:15:39.300 Let me explain to you what I mean by people who hate losing. This, I've dated girls who hated losing

00:15:44.840 and I've done business with people who hate losing and this isn't difficult in a negative way if

00:15:51.740 they're self-aware. Let me explain. Sometimes a person who hates losing so bad, right before in

00:15:58.760 their mind they know they're about to lose, they don't even know they're doing it because they're

00:16:02.380 not conscious of this. They start hurting other relationships to make the reasoning for losing

00:16:08.320 not that big of a deal. I don't know if that made any sense. It's kind of like, you know,

00:16:11.520 you already know you're about, like you know in football or basketball, you already know you're

00:16:15.840 about to lose a game, then you do a flagrant foul. Not necessarily why you're doing a flagrant foul.

00:16:20.180 You know that's because of frustration. You know you're about to lose. You're so upset that anybody

00:16:25.620 who speaks to you during that moment, you're an absolute jerk to everybody. Now, is there a positive

00:16:32.700 in that? Yes. I don't mind people who don't like to lose. I love people who hate to lose.

00:16:37.540 But there's sore losers, and there's people who need to realize that when you lose, you've got

00:16:42.000 to go shake hands. At the end of every baseball game, t-ball game, they teach them. You've got

00:16:44.760 to go high-five the opponent. They do this in World Series. They do this in sports. And it sucks.

00:16:49.660 Remember when Michael Jordan beat Isaiah Thomas and the Detroit Pistons? And Detroit Pistons

00:16:54.100 walked off, and you see Isaiah Thomas walking like this right past the bench, and they didn't

00:16:58.580 high-five? That's somebody who hates losing, but it's a sore loser. You lost. I remember one time,

00:17:03.460 I'll never forget, one time I lost, and somebody brought me on stage, and they made me give the

00:17:07.140 other person the trophy. This was in front of 600 people. I got up. I gave it to him.

00:17:13.040 They were condescending. They took a lot of shots at me. I don't mind it, because I love

00:17:16.780 that kind of stuff. And I gave a message from stage to him, and I said, you deserve it.

00:17:21.280 You outworked me, but this will be the last time ever for the rest of your life you will

00:17:25.160 ever beat me in this game, ever. It's game over from here on. But having said that, congratulations

00:17:30.840 to you. Enjoy this victory. I went and sat down. Never, ever, ever did they ever get close,

00:17:36.640 because I hate to lose. But I didn't mind the stage, because I had to address the issue that

00:17:40.880 I didn't work hard. It's okay. So if you're watching this, that's a little bit of you,

00:17:44.640 you got to adjust, because you're hurting some relationship, simply because you hate to lose,

00:17:47.900 and you know you're about to lose, and you rub out the people the wrong way, and you become

00:17:50.880 difficult. Next. 21. A true believer. Let me explain to you about true believer. Recently,

00:17:56.680 I sat with Gloria Allred. Gloria Allred is responsible for, if you ever see her with sexual 0.99

00:18:03.540 harassment lawsuits, she was there for Bill Cosby, she was there with Weinstein, she was

00:18:07.260 there with a lot of different presidents, a lot of different people that had any kind

00:18:11.040 of assault that they did to someone else. It's typically sexual harassment. Over a quarter

00:18:17.780 of a billion dollars, this woman's won, in lawsuits, specifically around sexual harassment, 0.99

00:18:23.880 right? Her and I are sitting down in her office, and I'm speaking to her, I kept telling her,

00:18:28.120 you're a true believer. You're a true believer. You're a true believer. By the way, here's

00:18:31.980 what happens with a true believer. You better believe there's a group that hates true believers

00:18:37.940 because they're so difficult. You know why they're so difficult? Because they can't help

00:18:42.420 themselves but keep talking about what they believe in. They cannot help themselves. It's

00:18:46.980 24-7. And the only people that appreciate a true believer is another true believer at the same

00:18:54.940 level as them in a complete different space. Make sense? True believers understand other true

00:19:00.440 believers. That doesn't mean a true believer likes the other true believer. That doesn't mean Gloria

00:19:03.940 and I agree on everything in life. You will see the interview. It's pretty controversial. We get at

00:19:09.240 it pretty quickly. But I respect the hell out of somebody that's a true believer, that consistently,

00:19:13.620 this woman for 50 years has been going around the same message over and over and over and over and

00:19:17.640 over again. That's difficult. So in a world of a business, picture this. Say somebody in a business

00:19:22.900 is a true believer, and everybody's kind of like a believer. And somebody's just there for money or

00:19:26.340 their doubters, all this other stuff. This true believer is non-stop selling the vision, where we're

00:19:30.100 going, where we're going, where we're going, where we're going. Some believers will become true

00:19:33.800 believers. Some non-believers will become believers. But some doubters will stay doubters because like,

00:19:37.420 listen, I don't even want to hear that stuff. That's okay. This is still a difficult person, but it's a

00:19:42.220 positive difficult person. If what they believe in is a worthy, positive cause, this is a good thing.

00:19:49.640 You want more true believers. There was a book called The True Believer. It's about 180 pages.

00:19:54.200 Technical book. Great book to read. It talks about what it is to be a true believer. Number 22, selfish.

00:19:59.500 Let me explain to you what I mean by selfish. I have a name right next to selfish. Okay? I have a name

00:20:04.300 right next to selfish. And here's what selfish is. There's good selfish. There's bad selfish. Let me

00:20:10.140 explain to you what both of them are. What's a good selfish? Good selfish is somebody that

00:20:13.380 wants to win so bad that they pull everybody else above with them to also win. But they're wanting

00:20:19.800 to win so flipping bad that whether you like it or not, you're going to win with them because they're

00:20:24.860 going to drive expectation high with everybody. Then there are selfish people that want to win so bad,

00:20:31.560 but they don't want to do the work. They want everybody else to do the work. And they want to take the

00:20:35.860 credit. And I've dealt with people like this before, and I'm just telling you, once they're

00:20:40.360 exploited, people leave. Okay? Because nothing is more annoying than dealing with somebody that's

00:20:46.260 so selfish in the area of winning that's all about them and not all the other people. It's okay when

00:20:52.220 somebody wants to win so bad that you're like, oh my gosh, this guy is so difficult to freaking do

00:20:56.600 business with. Well, behind closed doors, there used to be a coach in baseball, skipper. His name was Tony LaRusso.

00:21:02.680 He's still around. He was in a tournament before. Very, very educated guy. I think he went to

00:21:06.040 some Ivy League school and he became a skipper. I think for Oakland A's. And players would say

00:21:12.120 about Tony LaRusso, once you realize how bad this person wants to win, you will have such an easy

00:21:19.820 time playing with this person. Once you realize how bad this person wants to win, you will enjoy and

00:21:25.180 appreciate this person more once you realize that. That man is selfish, but it's positive selfish.

00:21:30.700 You know why? Because it's kind of cool when you're also one day going to be able to talk about the fact that

00:21:35.000 you have a championship ring. Why? Because you work with somebody that was so flipping, driven, and selfish

00:21:40.100 to want to win that brought all these other people with them to the top that they also want. That is a positive.

00:21:45.120 You need to know the difference. And it's very easy to tell the two selfish people apart. Just watch habits.

00:21:50.720 That's all you got to do. Watch habits. But I got a name right here on who it is. A few of them, but I got one

00:21:55.700 main name right here. I got to cover this quickly so you can't see what we're talking about, Mari. Can they

00:22:00.700 see it? Number 23 is the following. Let me tell you what number 23 is. No need to improve. They have no

00:22:06.000 desire to improve. Really, I mean, we had a person here that we were reading the book. We were reading

00:22:12.180 a book. I don't know what book it was that we were reading. It was a book of the month, right? And it was

00:22:16.080 a 500-page book that we were reading. And one of our employees said, I don't know why we have to read a book

00:22:20.780 like this. I said, listen, I'm going to simplify it for you. At our company, if you don't read this

00:22:25.680 book per month, you're fired. We're not offended. The reason why we do this is because we are very

00:22:31.000 committed to improving. If you're not, we're not the company for you. But in this company, you're

00:22:35.480 going to improve with us. And if you don't believe in improving, go work for a Fortune 100 company

00:22:40.560 that's done improving and stay there quietly. Just have a regular 9-5 job that they don't expect you

00:22:45.540 to improve. Here, improvement is a priority at the highest level. What do you want to do? If you don't want

00:22:50.720 improve, you can go home. To us, we want everybody from the lowest $15 an hour job to the person

00:22:56.020 making a million dollar your income, we want everybody to be committed to improvement. That

00:22:59.700 is a priority that we have at our company. Number 24, perfect. Let me explain to you what I mean by

00:23:03.420 perfect people. Oh my gosh, they're difficult. Okay, so what do I mean by perfect? Look, you will rarely

00:23:09.700 hear me talk about my faith. Matter of fact, you won't get me talking about my faith on a value

00:23:15.040 attainment. You know why? Let me explain to you why. The reason why is because I have a very hard

00:23:20.420 time with people who talk about their faith so much to the point where it becomes almost

00:23:28.320 like they're more righteous than you and they're more a believer than you and they're more of this

00:23:32.920 than you and all this other stuff. That's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. And to the point

00:23:37.080 where everybody is below them. Everybody is beneath them because they're so perfect because they are

00:23:42.360 righteous and they are forgiven and all this other stuff. To me, I don't go to church because I want

00:23:47.900 somebody to make me feel like I'm not imperfect. I'm not perfect. I know I'm not perfect. I'm going

00:23:52.860 there for somebody to say that even though you're not perfect, there's a place for you, right?

00:23:57.600 This message, what I just gave you in a business environment, it doesn't work with perfect people

00:24:02.660 there because they walk around like they have this perfect life. Oh, my wife and I, we never argue.

00:24:06.720 My husband and I, we never argue. We love each other. Everything's fine because we believe in the

00:24:10.220 Lord and da-da-da-da-da. I can't deal with that. It's very difficult. Next, small thinking. Let me tell you what I mean

00:24:15.780 by small thinking. Somebody who you're doing business with that doesn't really realize what's

00:24:19.440 about to happen five years from now. I remember when people first got started, Mario and I were

00:24:22.420 talking about this. There was a group of people who didn't fully know what was going to happen

00:24:26.800 with our business moving forward. Fully didn't know. It's like, I don't know about it. I think

00:24:30.580 it's good. Boom. They disappeared. We had certain people that started with Valuetainment when we had

00:24:35.360 200 subs and they said, I don't really know if this thing's going to do anything. They disappeared at 200

00:24:40.080 subs. We had people at 2,000 subs that didn't believe Valuetainment was going to be what it is

00:24:43.940 today, right? But the true believers are here. The reason why many of you love Mario Aguilar,

00:24:49.620 and let me put his handle up here. Let's send some love to him at Aguilar Social. He's on Twitter and

00:24:54.220 on Instagram. Go follow him and send some love to him. The reason why you love Mario is because Mario's

00:24:58.900 a true believer and Mario's been there from day one because he knew exactly what the vision of both

00:25:03.380 our company and Valuetainment was, both of them. People like people like that, right? So small thinkers,

00:25:09.180 unfortunately 90% of the world are small thinkers. All they can think about is what we're going to

00:25:14.660 do in the next week. What's going to happen in the next day, in the next month, maybe a month,

00:25:18.720 maybe a quarter. Very few people are saying, you know what? I believe we can be there five years

00:25:22.680 from now. I believe we can be there 20 years from now. I believe we can be there 10 years from now

00:25:27.200 and I want to be a part of it. By the way, don't fire small thinking people. Sometimes they're good

00:25:31.660 for $15 an hour jobs and they're still going to get the day-to-day stuff fixed. But as far as you

00:25:37.080 wanted to take the company to a whole different level, you need some of the people that have

00:25:39.960 bought into the vision. Next. 26. You can't please them. You're going to have certain people you do

00:25:44.120 business with. No matter what you ever do, nothing makes them happy, period. 27. People who change

00:25:49.640 often. Let me explain to you what it means. One day you talk to them. I want to be your number one guy.

00:25:54.720 That's it. I've changed. I can't believe I don't take more advantage of this relationship because

00:25:58.840 you're so amazing and the value you bring to me. Next month, I can do whatever I want to do because I

00:26:05.880 am an entrepreneur. I can do whatever I want to do. You're right. You can do anything you want to do.

00:26:10.020 But what's up with this changing all the time? You know, you're like the weather. One day you're

00:26:13.640 rainy. One minute you're snowing. One minute it's sunny. One minute it's gloomy. Which one is showing

00:26:18.240 up today? Who are we going to meet today? Tell me. So I know in advance. Can I take the manual out?

00:26:22.320 Give me page number 88. It's who we're dealing with today. Perfect. Now I know how to deal with you

00:26:27.620 today because I know who's showing up today, right? People who change often, they don't know this. They lose a lot

00:26:34.940 good people in their lives. A lot of good people in their lives because eventually they drain other

00:26:40.300 people of their energy to love them. They're draining because they always change. And they

00:26:48.040 think it's okay to do that. And they can be like that their entire lives. You lose the right people

00:26:53.160 in your life. Forget about all the other people that stick around because it's your fan base and

00:26:56.620 your fan club. You will lose the right people in your life. And you do not. You never ever want to

00:27:00.900 lose true believers who are loyal to you and who you are as a human. You never want to lose them.

00:27:06.280 But unfortunately, some people do it all the time, not knowingly. Next, 28. Crap magnet. I've said this

00:27:12.420 before. You probably heard me say it before. These are people that constantly attract crap to

00:27:15.580 themselves. Number 29. Self-inflicted wounds. You've heard me talk about this as well. There's always

00:27:20.960 something bad happening to them. 30. People who are too honest. Let me tell you who I'm thinking about

00:27:26.680 with this. My dad is so honest, it's out of control. Let me tell you what I mean by my dad.

00:27:32.500 So, I have a friend from many, many years ago. He is frightened of my dad. And you know why he's

00:27:39.620 frightened of my dad? Here's why he's frightened of my dad. Because my dad, if you are 20 pounds

00:27:46.160 overweight and you've gained weight since the last time he sees you, this is my dad. Hey, what happened,

00:27:50.820 Gordo? What happened, Gordo? That's his line if you're Hispanic. You look fat. You gain 1.00

00:27:56.660 weight. What happened here? That's my dad. And let me tell you something. He will do this

00:28:01.660 all the time. I'll see him sitting down with a husband and wife and he's talking about their

00:28:05.240 sex life. I'm like, Dad, you can't be doing that, buddy. And he tells a story. I want to explain to

00:28:09.400 you sex. Say this is sex, okay? On top of this cup is honey. Down here is shit. If you eat all the

00:28:18.260 honey very quickly and you have sex all the time, you're eventually going to eat shit, okay? So don't do

00:28:23.700 this. Take a nibble of the honey. Just a little nibble. I'm like, God, I'm kind of like a philosopher,

00:28:29.380 you know? Like a sexual, you know, all these philosophers out there. But the guy is as entertaining

00:28:35.920 as it gets. If you're around my dad, everybody loves my dad, but he's too honest. There is a

00:28:39.820 good area for that. There's also a bad area that sensitive people cannot like people who

00:28:43.280 are too honest. Which leads me to the next one. Point number 31 is sensitive people. Sensitive

00:28:47.080 people cannot take any criticism from anybody, which means the only time they improve is based

00:28:53.700 on your personal experience. Let me say it one more time. Sensitive people, hear me out

00:28:57.500 if you're still here. For 90% of viewers that are done after the first 8-10 minutes, if you're

00:29:03.260 still here for the 10% of it and you're sensitive, you know what happens with sensitive people?

00:29:07.440 They can't take constructive criticism for other people. So you know what happens? Sensitive

00:29:12.460 people can never learn from other people. They have to only learn it from themselves. Which

00:29:17.900 means sensitive people have to make mistakes. Which means the speed of success is always delayed

00:29:25.760 for sensitive people. Always delayed for sensitive people. Let me say it one more time. Always

00:29:31.720 delayed for sensitive people. I don't want to hear this kind of stuff. You're right. You

00:29:35.860 don't have to hear this kind of stuff. Go ahead and make the mistakes for yourself. Three

00:29:38.140 years later, you were right. We could have saved that three years, by the way. But you had

00:29:41.340 to go through that three years. Can't help because you're sensitive. Last but not least

00:29:44.480 is excuse makers. They got an excuse for everything. And that part, it is what it is. You can't

00:29:48.520 do anything about it. They're just people that make constantly excuses. I can't lead somebody

00:29:52.840 and help somebody that's constantly making excuses. Now, maybe go sit down with somebody

00:29:56.460 and say, let me ask you a question. Somebody who knows you. Somebody was asking me a question

00:29:59.680 the other day in Bermuda. And I told this guy, good guy. I said, listen, the best way to understand

00:30:04.820 yourself is, go to the people that know you very well, that you don't mind if they say something

00:30:08.840 very honest to you that's going to hurt. Like, who are those? Like, my dad can't tell me anything. It's not going to hurt

00:30:12.600 me. Tell me what's on your mind, right? There are certain people. Let them give you honest feedback

00:30:17.400 about who you really are. Then make your own pivots and adjustments based on that. I'm not

00:30:21.760 talking about negative people to go talk to. Somebody that's level-headed, that can give you

00:30:25.600 direct feedback and say, these are the things that I deal with. What do you think about these? Which one

00:30:28.680 is me? They'll typically be able to tell you and help you address those areas if you're not

00:30:33.280 number 31, which is what? Sensitive. To all the sensitive people, skip this exercise because it's going to

00:30:38.600 offense you. Go make the mistakes on your own. Take your time. If you have the courage to do

00:30:42.760 this, more power to you, but most are not willing to do it. Thanks, everybody, for listening. And by

00:30:46.580 the way, if you haven't already subscribed to Valuetainment on iTunes, please do so. Give us a

00:30:51.460 five-star. Write a review if you haven't already. And if you have any questions for me that you may

00:30:55.680 have, you can always find me on Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. Just search my name,

00:31:00.820 Patrick David. And I actually do respond back when you snap me or send me a message on Instagram.

00:31:06.620 With that being said, have a great day today. Take care, everybody. Bye-bye.

Valuetainment - October 30, 2018

Episode 199： 32 Difficult Personalities to Work With

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