Valuetainment - Episode 215： Work-Life Balance- Is it Possible for Entrepreneurs？

00:00:00.280 30 seconds. One time for the underdog. Ignition sequence start.

00:00:06.980 Let me see you put them up. Reach the sky, touch the stars up above.

00:00:11.120 Cause it's one time for the underdog. One time for the underdog.

00:00:17.300 I'm Patrick Medebi, your host of Aletainment, and today we're going to talk about this one topic everybody wants to know.

00:00:22.740 Work-life balance. Is it even possible for entrepreneurs?

00:00:26.240 When you say, I want to live a balanced life, you forget that we are not machines.

00:00:33.420 Let me explain what I mean by this.

00:00:35.040 You see, a machine is a single-minded job.

00:00:38.980 This here, his job, its job, is to light up the room.

00:00:42.880 This audio has a job of recording my voice.

00:00:46.400 They usually don't have a million different things they're thinking about.

00:00:49.640 They're single-minded, and they get the job done.

00:00:51.860 They don't have a million other things.

00:00:53.440 You and I, we're not machines.

00:00:55.000 And when we're not machines, our brain, right now, think about the last five minutes.

00:00:59.220 What have you been thinking about all day today?

00:01:00.960 Let me give you a few of them. Tell me if any of them is yours.

00:01:03.360 You're thinking about who won the game yesterday.

00:01:05.620 The argument you got into with your wife, your husband, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, this morning.

00:01:09.540 You're still texting, going back and forth.

00:01:11.420 You're not answering or calling.

00:01:13.100 That 877 number you got on your phone, you're wondering if it's a creditor that's trying to collect money from you.

00:01:17.800 That ticket you got two weeks ago, you still haven't gotten an amount.

00:01:20.340 You don't know how much the speeding ticket's going to be, if it's going to be over $200, and if you're going to get your license suspended.

00:01:25.700 You don't know what you're going to work out tonight.

00:01:27.200 Is it back, shoulders? Am I doing arms? I did arms.

00:01:29.580 When did I do arms? I don't know when did I do arms.

00:01:31.740 You're wondering that Facebook notification you just got right now.

00:01:34.500 Why did that person friend me?

00:01:35.880 I just posted a picture on Instagram.

00:01:37.440 Why hasn't Mary liked it yet?

00:01:38.620 She's supposed to like it.

00:01:39.580 She always likes it.

00:01:41.040 My mom is upset at me, Rhonda, because I forgot to call her on her birthday. 0.96

00:01:44.380 And I forgot to call her on this other day.

00:01:45.840 My dad is upset.

00:01:47.000 My brother and sisters are getting to a five.

00:01:48.760 What do I do?

00:01:49.320 You have so many things on your mind.

00:01:52.000 And our mind wanders.

00:01:54.980 It drifts.

00:01:56.200 So when it does that, we can't be a machine.

00:02:00.160 It's all over the place.

00:02:01.140 So to live a balanced life, that utopian perfection balanced life doesn't exist.

00:02:08.360 However, are there hacks out there for you to figure out ways to try to do your best to have a balanced life?

00:02:15.000 Yes.

00:02:15.680 I'm going to do my best to explain it to you here.

00:02:17.520 So here's why even a person starts thinking about, do I live a balanced life or not?

00:02:24.040 And this is what it is.

00:02:25.300 The reason why we think about it is because someone in your life, a spouse, a mom, a dad, a brother, a sister,

00:02:31.520 a boss, someone made you feel guilty.

00:02:33.800 What do you mean somebody made me feel guilty?

00:02:35.820 Let me explain.

00:02:37.780 You could be sitting there at a dinner table, okay, or having a conversation with somebody,

00:02:41.900 and someone says the following.

00:02:43.180 Here's what they say.

00:02:44.560 You know, in order to have a happy marriage, you have to be home at night at six o'clock every night.

00:02:50.880 And you don't do that.

00:02:52.020 You just felt guilty.

00:02:53.260 Your spouse is sitting there.

00:02:54.460 You're saying, maybe I'm not a good spouse.

00:02:55.980 Maybe I'm not a good husband.

00:02:56.900 Maybe I'm not a good father.

00:02:58.200 You just felt guilty.

00:02:59.900 You'll have another situation.

00:03:01.080 Somebody will say, you know, it is not healthy to live an unbalanced life.

00:03:06.220 Again, you felt guilty.

00:03:07.840 Maybe I'm not living a healthy life.

00:03:09.260 Maybe I'm not a good person.

00:03:10.460 Maybe I'm not doing the right way.

00:03:11.780 Maybe I'm supposed to be doing it in a whole different way.

00:03:13.840 Here's another one.

00:03:15.100 They'll say things like, nothing matters more to me than family.

00:03:19.260 Listen, John, nothing in your life should mean more to you than your family, right?

00:03:23.940 And what does that statement really mean in the first place?

00:03:27.440 Think about it.

00:03:28.680 So nothing means more to me than my family.

00:03:30.700 Okay, if nothing means more to me than my family, why am I spending time on my job?

00:03:35.500 I should be home with the kids.

00:03:36.800 I shouldn't have a job.

00:03:38.080 I shouldn't do anything else.

00:03:39.400 I should just be around my family.

00:03:40.700 Because nothing matters more to me than my family.

00:03:42.460 Do you know that single statement right there?

00:03:44.280 Do you know how many people get confused over that single statement right there?

00:03:47.320 Do you know how many people feel guilty over that statement?

00:03:49.280 Nothing should matter more to you than your family.

00:03:52.660 So now somebody could say, well, it is true.

00:03:55.700 Pat, what's your argument?

00:03:56.880 Look, my dad is 75 years old, okay?

00:03:59.820 And I'm a selfish human being.

00:04:01.600 I am.

00:04:02.360 I want my dad in Texas with me.

00:04:05.740 My dad's in LA.

00:04:07.180 He lives in LA.

00:04:08.500 All his friends, his family, everybody pretty much is in LA.

00:04:12.580 In Texas, he only has me, right?

00:04:14.600 Selfishly, I can pay him all the money in the world to want to come and move to Texas.

00:04:20.340 And I can say, hey, don't you love your kids?

00:04:22.620 Don't you love your grandkids?

00:04:23.520 I can make him feel guilty, right?

00:04:25.580 I can do that to him and make him feel guilty.

00:04:28.220 But here's what happens.

00:04:29.420 Say if I move him over here.

00:04:30.940 He has nothing to do.

00:04:31.780 So throughout the day, he has nothing to do.

00:04:33.380 All his stuff.

00:04:33.660 I come home on the weekend and we spend time together.

00:04:36.240 Selfish, right?

00:04:37.540 In LA, he's still a chemist.

00:04:40.480 He still does exciting jobs.

00:04:42.380 He has a whole life of himself.

00:04:43.820 He has a routine.

00:04:45.100 I got him a nice Mercedes.

00:04:46.620 He has all this stuff to do on a daily basis.

00:04:48.840 I'm robbing him of his life and his routines if he comes to Dallas.

00:04:53.320 So does that mean he doesn't love his family and nothing's more important than his family?

00:04:56.160 I can tell you, my dad loves his family and the example is sick.

00:04:59.440 But these comments confuse people.

00:05:02.300 So Pat, what is your point?

00:05:03.960 Here's my point.

00:05:04.820 By far, the most important thing that you have to answer before talking about work-life

00:05:13.320 balance is you got to decide how clear you are about your vision and the life you want

00:05:19.540 to live.

00:05:20.040 So Pat, what are you talking about?

00:05:21.300 Let me explain.

00:05:22.000 Again, if you follow Valuetainment, I think it's fair to say that you're probably an aspiring

00:05:27.660 entrepreneur or you're an executive.

00:05:29.940 You're doing good for yourself or you run a business, but you're trying to grow and get

00:05:33.360 yourself to the next level.

00:05:34.340 Fair enough.

00:05:34.960 You're trying to do that.

00:05:35.880 And I'm giving you value and I'm sharing the mistakes and the things that I've done that

00:05:39.580 hopefully give you some kind of direction on what to do with your life.

00:05:42.140 Great.

00:05:42.960 Let's set that part aside.

00:05:45.900 If your clarity on the vision and the life you want to live is that clear, you won't feel

00:05:51.120 guilty.

00:05:51.820 Let me explain.

00:05:53.160 Lowest level of a vision could be somebody saying, Pat, I want to figure out a way to make

00:05:58.020 $100,000, $150,000, $250,000 a year.

00:06:01.100 That's what I want to do.

00:06:02.160 And I'm happy once I get to that point.

00:06:04.160 No problem.

00:06:04.880 The second one could be somebody's watching and saying, Pat, I want to be a multi-millionaire

00:06:09.320 and be financially free and that's my goal.

00:06:12.180 And guess what?

00:06:12.800 No problem.

00:06:13.980 Somebody else could be watching this, very few of you.

00:06:16.540 Somebody else could be watching and saying, honestly, I can't do a lot with $250,000 a

00:06:21.080 year income.

00:06:21.900 And I can't do a lot just being a millionaire.

00:06:23.620 I'm driven by history.

00:06:25.080 I'm driven by doing something big.

00:06:26.920 I want to change the world.

00:06:28.500 I want my last thing to be remembered.

00:06:30.240 I want to do something significant that impacts the world.

00:06:34.540 Because I've got so much flipping fire in my belly, I can't even describe it.

00:06:39.760 Okay?

00:06:40.720 Whoever you are, whether you're the first one, second one, third one, now you're clear.

00:06:45.640 Because here's what comes after that.

00:06:47.900 If you're the first one, after you're having a clear vision comes your timeline.

00:06:51.800 Pat, what do you mean by timeline?

00:06:52.800 Here's what I mean by timeline.

00:06:54.580 So timeline could be, look, I just want to make $100,000, $250,000 a year income.

00:06:58.900 Your timeline for being all out, hard work, could be three to five years.

00:07:05.180 That's your timeline.

00:07:06.580 Second person says, Pat, I want to be a millionaire.

00:07:08.520 Your timeline may be, you have to go all out for five to ten years.

00:07:12.140 The third one may be, somebody says, Pat, I want to chase history.

00:07:14.720 That may be a 10, 20, 30, 40 year type of a thing you've got to do.

00:07:18.360 So it ain't a short term period thing you've got to do.

00:07:20.740 But now you have your vision, and you're clear on it.

00:07:24.040 And now you have your timeline.

00:07:25.900 And then you're clear on it.

00:07:27.240 So now, regardless of what level you're in, for those of you guys that asked me the other

00:07:33.240 question, which is, Pat, do you think anybody can be an entrepreneur?

00:07:36.980 And I give you the answer, which is what?

00:07:38.720 Yes.

00:07:39.820 I believe anybody can be an entrepreneur, but there's a problem.

00:07:42.740 There's a problem in that answer that is not clear enough.

00:07:45.620 So let me clarify it for you.

00:07:47.220 Can anybody become an entrepreneur?

00:07:49.080 Yes.

00:07:49.880 Is everybody willing to do the work to become an entrepreneur?

00:07:53.760 Absolutely not.

00:07:54.720 A lady told me one of the best things. 0.73

00:07:57.160 She was talking about raising kids and all this other stuff.

00:07:59.780 She said, Pat, do you know what is the closest pain you will ever go through in your life of

00:08:06.200 giving birth to a child?

00:08:07.600 I said, I don't know what it is, but what do you think it is?

00:08:10.940 This was a 50-year-old lady. 1.00

00:08:12.100 She said, the closest thing you will ever experience is by you starting a company, being a startup

00:08:18.500 entrepreneur, building a business, because it's absolute painful, annoying, challenging,

00:08:24.360 frustrating.

00:08:25.280 It's going to suck.

00:08:26.420 You're going to have to make sacrifices.

00:08:27.760 You will have mental, emotional breakdowns at some point.

00:08:31.420 It's going to be that painful.

00:08:33.060 And guess what?

00:08:33.580 Everybody wants to experience the history and all that stuff, but how many people want

00:08:38.020 to put up with that?

00:08:38.740 Not a lot of people.

00:08:40.000 Not a lot of people.

00:08:41.220 So now, for those of you guys that are watching and saying, well, Pat, I'm still trying to

00:08:44.320 be curious what you mean by work-life balance.

00:08:46.000 What does this have to do with that?

00:08:47.300 Everything.

00:08:48.560 Because you first got to go back and figure out who you want to be.

00:08:51.360 What life you want to live.

00:08:52.340 What is the formula?

00:08:53.120 What is the sacrifice?

00:08:53.920 What is the timeline I have?

00:08:55.520 So the correlation between that, once I get clear, somebody can't make you feel guilty.

00:09:00.320 You know why?

00:09:00.820 Because you already know what it's going to take.

00:09:03.180 You already know what your timeline is.

00:09:05.240 You already know what life you want to live.

00:09:07.020 You already know how big of a life you want to build.

00:09:08.980 You're clear on it.

00:09:10.140 It's crystal.

00:09:11.240 And you know your timeline.

00:09:12.460 So I can't make you feel guilty and I'm your brother-in-law.

00:09:15.480 I can't make you feel guilty and I'm your dad or your mom or your brother or your sister.

00:09:19.040 Or your boyfriend or your girlfriend.

00:09:20.520 I can't.

00:09:21.360 Because you're clear.

00:09:22.720 Make sense?

00:09:23.560 And no one can make you feel guilty.

00:09:25.240 Now, let's go to the next part.

00:09:27.060 The closest thing to wanting to become a professional entrepreneur is the following.

00:09:33.940 So again, I'm trying to make this argument to you to understand this before I go and give

00:09:37.540 you the tips on living a balanced life.

00:09:38.920 Here's the argument.

00:09:41.240 The closest thing to becoming a professional entrepreneur is the following.

00:09:44.740 An athlete.

00:09:46.300 Professional athlete.

00:09:47.800 Think about the sacrifices they make.

00:09:49.980 Basketball players, they play 82 games in a season, not including preseason or playoffs.

00:09:54.480 On the road, they're on the road six months out of the year.

00:09:57.560 Okay?

00:09:57.800 So think about it.

00:09:58.280 You're going to miss moments.

00:09:59.120 You're going to be doing stuff.

00:10:00.140 You won't be sleeping in your bed every night.

00:10:01.880 You're sleeping in a hotel.

00:10:04.080 All these other things.

00:10:05.020 Baseball is 162 games in a season.

00:10:07.220 Not including pre, not including playoffs.

00:10:09.220 You're playing for eight months out of the year is what you're doing.

00:10:12.640 Right?

00:10:13.640 Then the other close thing to becoming an entrepreneur is a musician.

00:10:16.600 Why are you a musician?

00:10:17.320 You're touring all the time.

00:10:18.680 You're on the road all the time.

00:10:19.840 Or a general.

00:10:20.720 You're in the field.

00:10:21.380 You're in war.

00:10:21.900 You're doing stuff.

00:10:22.780 You have to constantly go out there and do certain things.

00:10:25.260 Right?

00:10:25.720 A Hollywood actor.

00:10:27.360 A superstar.

00:10:28.480 In Hollywood.

00:10:29.060 Pat, what do you mean by Hollywood actor?

00:10:30.640 You know how long it takes to shoot a movie?

00:10:32.340 Three to six months.

00:10:33.540 You're gone.

00:10:34.140 You're away.

00:10:34.560 You could be in New Zealand shooting a video and your family's back in town going to school

00:10:38.440 to private school and you're in New Zealand Skyping with them every day.

00:10:41.400 That's the sacrifice at that level.

00:10:43.300 Another one could be a politician campaigning.

00:10:45.560 Hey, I would love to be a president one day.

00:10:47.700 Do you really want to campaign for 18 months every single day and if you don't, you're going

00:10:52.780 to lose to another guy that is willing to campaign every day?

00:10:56.020 Do you really want to go campaign and get rejected every day and people spit in your

00:11:00.700 face, they argue, they throw stuff at you and they say, I can't believe you believe

00:11:05.380 in such and such.

00:11:06.120 I cannot believe you think America should have free health care.

00:11:09.580 I cannot believe you think America shouldn't have free health care.

00:11:12.600 No matter what philosophy you think, you have an opposition.

00:11:14.640 Do you really want to go through that?

00:11:16.200 Because that's what entrepreneurship, I believe you should own real estate.

00:11:19.340 Half of people say you shouldn't own real estate.

00:11:21.640 I believe you should put your money in the stock market.

00:11:23.220 I don't believe in the stock market.

00:11:24.840 You should invest in real estate.

00:11:25.680 I don't believe in real estate.

00:11:26.980 You should buy technology stock.

00:11:28.180 I don't believe in technology.

00:11:29.200 You should buy big, I don't believe.

00:11:30.800 Everything has an opposition and that's painful for some people.

00:11:33.880 That's why sometimes it's safer to go get a regular job and say, this is the route I'm

00:11:37.680 going to take.

00:11:39.500 Entrepreneurship is a pain in the ass.

00:11:41.840 History demands a ton.

00:11:44.140 And all of these journalists that are famous for getting up and talking about balance, guess

00:11:50.060 who they admire?

00:11:51.520 The most unbalanced people in the world is who they admire.

00:11:54.640 They admire the people who are willing to go out there and be unbalanced.

00:11:59.820 They write about them.

00:12:01.520 All day long, journalists talk about the most unbalanced human beings in the world.

00:12:07.360 Their obsession.

00:12:08.800 They have a job because there are unbalanced people out there. 0.70

00:12:12.420 If there were no unbalanced people out there, media and journalism wouldn't exist because they

00:12:17.180 need somebody to talk smack about. 0.99

00:12:19.400 That's how they make their money.

00:12:20.380 And who makes news to have people to write about?

00:12:24.740 High achievers.

00:12:26.140 With that being said, I want to leave you with a couple actionable items you can apply

00:12:29.440 right off the bat so you can hopefully have a little bit more of a balanced life at least.

00:12:34.060 So here's what the couple things are.

00:12:36.100 One, do you remember how earlier I told the story of the difference between machines and

00:12:40.160 us human beings is because we wander and we drift and we think about things?

00:12:43.980 Here's what I want you to be thinking about.

00:12:45.320 The reason why we wander and we drift, why do we, is because we don't have a clear answer

00:12:51.020 and we're questioning the decision we're about to make.

00:12:54.540 Let me elaborate.

00:12:55.700 Have you ever woken up in the morning spending 17 minutes in your closet wondering which jeans,

00:13:01.680 which suit, which tie, which shirt to wear and which shoes?

00:13:04.580 Have you ever done that?

00:13:05.740 To answer that, wasted 22 minutes.

00:13:07.980 Have you ever gone on lunch and you're wondering where to eat?

00:13:11.120 I'm going to go over here.

00:13:13.220 Now let's go over here, you know what, I don't know about this, 32 minutes was spent just

00:13:16.440 deciding where to have lunch.

00:13:18.120 Here's a system, very simple system.

00:13:20.860 When it comes down to your mind wandering and it's making a decision, ask yourself, what's

00:13:25.960 the level of priority on this decision I need to make?

00:13:28.080 Low.

00:13:29.060 Let's just go right here.

00:13:30.140 Cool, I'm going.

00:13:31.160 I'm not spending 22 minutes.

00:13:32.280 One minute, we're going right here.

00:13:33.280 If the mind goes and it's saying, well, I'm wandering, I'm making it, I don't really know

00:13:36.760 if I'm making the right decision.

00:13:37.760 If it's a very, very big decision, guess what?

00:13:40.800 Take your time because it's high priority.

00:13:43.100 So pause, ask yourself level of priority, then take your time on decision based on the

00:13:47.860 level of priority.

00:13:49.020 Second thing I want you to be thinking about.

00:13:51.000 Remember how earlier I talked to you about guilt?

00:13:53.940 So people make you feel guilty.

00:13:55.560 You're working too hard, you're not spending enough time with your family.

00:13:57.720 If you don't have dinner right now with your family, you're not a good parent, you're not

00:14:00.140 a good husband, whatever, all those things.

00:14:02.100 Okay, so here's guilt.

00:14:03.760 If you are feeling guilty, write out your values and principles that you want to live by.

00:14:09.740 And these values and principles are going to match the life you want to live and the

00:14:14.320 vision you want to live.

00:14:15.640 When your values and principles are committed to your vision and the life you want to live,

00:14:21.840 here's what's going to happen.

00:14:22.820 There's going to be a conflict.

00:14:24.420 And the conflict is, some of your current friends and family are not going to like your

00:14:30.460 current value system.

00:14:31.940 And they're going to make you feel guilty.

00:14:33.280 They're going to say, you know, honestly, Patrick, I just want you to know that you ought

00:14:37.780 to really be thinking about your current schedule and what you're doing and da-da-da-da-da-da.

00:14:41.360 Guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt.

00:14:43.180 I don't know if this is the right thing you're doing.

00:14:45.000 See, they don't know your values and principles matches the vision and the life you want to live

00:14:50.140 because you're clear and they're not.

00:14:51.980 You can't judge them because they don't know what your vision is.

00:14:55.120 Now, if it's somebody that's very important to you, wife, husband, kids, you know, spouse,

00:15:01.820 mom, dad, sit down and explain to them, here's my values.

00:15:06.040 Here's the principles I want to live by.

00:15:08.040 This is the vision.

00:15:09.040 I am so clear.

00:15:10.080 The next three to five years, I'm going to do this.

00:15:12.560 Babe, I want to go on a 5-10 run and I need you to support me.

00:15:16.300 Mom, dad, I'm going on a 10-20 run because I want to do this for my life.

00:15:19.600 But, and expect opposition, expect laughter, expect people to say,

00:15:24.620 what are you talking about your vision?

00:15:25.960 What do you mean vision?

00:15:26.680 You've never used the word vision before.

00:15:28.560 What do you mean clarity?

00:15:29.400 I've never heard you use the word clarity before.

00:15:31.620 What are you talking about values and principles you want to live by?

00:15:33.920 It doesn't matter because you either have to compromise your vision that you want to live,

00:15:39.020 your life, the vision that's clear to you, or you have to compromise certain relationships.

00:15:44.420 And when it says relationship, you don't need to compromise mom and dad, brother, sister.

00:15:48.080 They don't have to fully believe in it.

00:15:49.720 But some friends, you've got a lot of them you can get rid of.

00:15:52.380 I'm telling you right now.

00:15:53.520 You've got a lot of them that they no longer want the life that you want.

00:15:56.660 And if you don't cut it out, they have so much influence on your vision that you don't even know.

00:16:01.720 They're going to prevent you from having some of your visions become a reality.

00:16:05.600 So, again, back to it.

00:16:07.540 System, low priority.

00:16:09.460 Don't take a lot of time.

00:16:10.340 High priority.

00:16:11.020 Take your time to make the decision so when you're wandering and drifting.

00:16:14.120 Two, you feel guilty, have your set of values and principles match your vision you want

00:16:18.720 to live with the timeline and the sacrifice you need to make.

00:16:21.960 Then adjust with certain friends you have.

00:16:24.000 Then at that point, hopefully you have fewer things that you have to attend to in your life

00:16:28.300 so at least you can be a little bit more of a balanced life that matches your vision

00:16:32.880 that you want to live.

00:16:33.980 Thanks, everybody, for listening.

00:16:35.520 And by the way, if you haven't already subscribed to Valuetainment on iTunes, please do so.

00:16:40.120 Give us a five-star.

00:16:41.420 Write a review if you haven't already.

00:16:43.000 And if you have any questions for me that you may have, you can always find me on Snapchat,

00:16:47.080 Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube.

00:16:49.040 Just search my name, Patrick MidDavid.

00:16:50.940 And I actually do respond back when you snap me or send me a message on Instagram.

00:16:55.940 With that being said, have a great day today.

00:16:57.680 Take care, everybody.

00:16:58.240 Bye-bye.

00:17:03.980 Bye-bye.

Valuetainment - November 21, 2018

Episode 215： Work-Life Balance- Is it Possible for Entrepreneurs？

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