Episode 245： How To Break the Curse of Your Limiting Beliefs
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Summary
In today's episode, I talk about limiting beliefs that are holding you back in your life and how you can break free of them. You may have a limiting belief in faith, family, friendship, relationship, marriage, finances, business, health, or politics.
Transcript
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30 seconds, one time for the underdog, ignition sequence start, let me see you put em up, reach
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the sky, turn the stars up above, cause it's one time for the underdog, one time for the
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I'm Patrick Bedeby, host of IT, and today's topic's gonna be a little bit emotional for
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you, a little bit different for you, and I hope you listen to the whole thing, because
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I had to go through this many, many years ago, it's talking about what you could do
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to break the curse of your current limiting beliefs that are holding you back in life.
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We got issues with faith that we struggle with, we have family, friendship, relationship, marriage,
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we have finance, business, health, and politics.
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Now, on each one of these, you may have a limiting belief, because think about it, there are people,
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you ever hear people that, you know, will brag about the fact that they are, you know, very
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good in their health, and they have six packs, and they have good bodies, and they work out
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seven times a week, and you see them showing their legs, and they do all this stuff, and
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No money in the bank account, no good personal life, no good marital life, not a good faith,
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Well, because they don't have limiting beliefs in their health, but they do have limiting
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I don't know what your limiting belief is in what area, but I promise you there's a limiting
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belief that's holding you back in each one of the areas.
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You could be somebody that grew up in a church, and I hear this happen all the time.
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The pastor gets up one day and says, you know, I've been having an affair with somebody in
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the church, da-da-da-da-da, and I'm stepping down, and all of a sudden you say, I will never
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That is a limiting belief, because an event took place to you when you were 16 years old,
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and your parents were so disappointed, and you were devastated, and now you don't believe
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in God because you based everything of your faith was a vertical relationship, and you
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were disappointed by horizontal because somebody around you let you down.
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So that is a limiting belief, and you need to crack the code to it.
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So you don't believe there's a God, or you're an atheist, you're an agnostic, or whatever.
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Our churches just want to make money, because I remember one time we gave this pastor money,
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and he came on a Bentley, and he came, it doesn't matter.
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I don't know your limiting belief, but if you have a faith issue, you have a limiting
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And if only it's important to you, you'll be able to crack the code to your family,
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Because your mom or dad wasn't a good mom, and she left, or he left, and you're afraid
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that if you have a kid, you're going to be like that, and it's going to hurt you, and
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you're afraid to have kids, because you were hit and abused when you were a kid growing
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up, and you're afraid that maybe you're going to do that, and no one knows about that,
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but it's a fear that you've been arrested, and it's a prison.
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You're afraid of getting married, because if you do get married, what if somebody gets
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a divorce, or if you're a woman, and every time you date a man, and all of a sudden you
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realize this is a good guy, they could be married, you cheat on him, and you go with
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somebody else, because you don't want to break, you don't want it to get too serious, because
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what if you get serious, and then 17 years later, when your parents were married, your
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It's so deep, but it is a limiting belief that's holding you back.
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You have a hard time keeping friends, because one of your friends that was your best friend
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ended up dating your boyfriend at that time, and you have a hard time trusting friendships,
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or you had a father that left, so you have a hard time trusting men all your life, or
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you had a mother that said all these negative things about you, and she doesn't believe in
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you, and all that stuff, so you have a hard time working with other women in your life,
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because there was something in your life that's a limiting belief that's stopping you from
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working with those people in the right relationship.
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Marriage could be the same thing, lots of them.
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You grew up in a family where your father worked very hard, and all of a sudden, he lost everything
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It was devastated, lived in three different homes, so you think money sucks, and anybody
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that works that hard should have stayed home, either my dad won't.
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You have a family that you grew up poor, and you saw your mom and dad struggle over money,
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Every time you go, you think you're going to lose everything you have, so you hoard all your
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money, you cover all your money, because that's a limiting belief that you've been
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Unless you crack the code, you're going to live with that forever, money.
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You either don't deserve it, you make $180,000 a year, but you really only think you're paying
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your 60, so you're being overpaid, so you take that 120 that you're making, and you waste
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it on cards, jewelry, everything, and three years later, you lose everything again, because
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You grew up in a family, people generally didn't take care of their health, so you kind
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of will eat whatever it is, cheesecakes, sweets, late night, you don't work out, you don't exercise,
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your parents didn't work out, nobody exercised, somebody did, somebody got hurt, exercise is
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not good, all this other stuff, so you don't exercise.
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You hate Republicans, because your parents hate Republicans.
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Because a president that was a president 28 years ago, that did one law, or one thing
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that they changed, and your father says, I hate Ronald Reagan, because Ronald Reagan
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Or, you know, I grew up in a family, and I saw my mom or my dad, they were on welfare all
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the time, always Section 8, taking advantage of everything, and, you know, they weren't
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really working, they could have worked, I cannot stand the communistic system, I get
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everything about communism, because everybody abuses the system to get money, ta-ta-ta-ta.
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I don't want to have anything to do with Democrats, because I'm a Republican, or you grew up in
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a family that there was so much fight about politics, you don't even want to talk about
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There is a limiting belief with something to do with politics, to you.
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If you don't have that challenge, don't worry about it.
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But if you do, there's a limiting belief, and what is it?
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You've got to crack the code in that, if it's important to you.
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So now, the challenge with limiting beliefs is this.
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Most of the time, there is the real truth, right?
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The real truth of whatever one of these beliefs that you may have, and then there is your truth.
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Your truth is what you have been self-sabotaging yourself, you've been self-sabotaging yourself
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You know, if you keep telling yourself a lie over and over and over and over and over again,
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But it's true to you, even though it's a lie in reality.
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If I tell myself, two plus two, the real answer is four.
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You think rich people are rich because they took advantage of somebody else?
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If you really believe that, you're never going to have money.
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If you think all men cheat, men are going to cheat in your life.
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If you think, you know, women are this, you're not going to find that girl unless if you crack
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that code and stop self-sabotaging yourself and hurting yourself on the way of your life.
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Typically, a limiting belief statement is a very simple statement that you make.
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You'll typically say something like, I can't do X because of Y.
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I can't get married because my parents da-da-da-da-da-da.
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I can't become a millionaire because all rich people suck.
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I can't go out there and do this because of da-da-da-da-da.
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I don't believe in, you know, keeping a strong diet.
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I don't believe in having my finances in order.
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I don't believe in saving because you live once so you should spend all your money because
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that's what your family does and you should spend all your money because you don't believe
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People that think, I don't need anybody's help.
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Yeah, you're probably not going to find a man that wants to stay married to you because
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You're probably not going to find a woman that is going to stay with you because she also wants
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You're probably not going to find people that want to be in business with you.
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If you have a statement, they say, I don't need anyone's help.
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It's my husband, my mom, my dad, my brother, my sister.
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I had a conversation with somebody on a conference call.
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I had a conversation with somebody and somebody said something to me on the conference call and
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I said, listen, I totally understand that that may be a truth.
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But what I like to do with my life that I had to graduate this back in 2004 is to understand.
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Instead of saying it's not my fault, it's to understand.
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What can I do with this situation myself to have improved it?
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But if I sit there and I let it happen and I don't do something myself, you can't say it's
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What if this limiting belief statements, if you start from there, a positive one instead
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of a limiting belief, maybe, you know, a imagine if I could, well, what if, imagine
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Imagine if this, sometimes we go back to, what if I fail?
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Make a list of some of your limiting belief statements that you have.
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We've heard this in other places before, generational curses, that whether they are true or not,
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But sometimes people tend to follow the exact footsteps of their mom or dad, whether it's
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Sometimes the bad we tend to continuously do because it's a generational curse that keeps
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I may say, Patrick, you know, that's generational curse stuff is not the truth.
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Well, if you look at the generational curse, if you look at a kid that has played ball,
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you'll generally see the kid may also play ball and the father played ball and continuously
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Steph Curry, his father played, his brother played, Eli Manning, Peyton Manning, you know,
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But you also see it with some curse that takes place.
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If you notice people that hold a grudge heavily, there's typically somebody in that lineage
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They may have had a relative or a mom or a father.
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So you may ask yourself, who my family held grudge?
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Do I want my kids to also keep holding grudges?
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Well, do you want to go 17 years without talking to your brother?
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Do you want to go 12 years without talking to that best friend of yours that you guys were
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If you write the lineage, father, grandfather, how would they financially?
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Are you continuing that tradition as well, financially, good or bad?
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Why do you think you also have to continue that?
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This is that eventually on the generational curse, the good news is it can be stopped,
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and it's normally stopped by one person that becomes the hero for the future generations
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of the family when that one person decides to stop a generational curse.
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So your spending habits, how many of it is similar to your mom or your dad?
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Sometimes you see a son drinks, father drank, grandfather drank.
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I'm going to do this, and it's not a big deal initially.
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And next thing you know, two beers, three beers, then hard liquor, then every day,
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It's a generational curse that could be taking place.
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Sometimes you see, hey, my father's in prison, my brother's in prison, my grandfather's in
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That's a generational curse that you're continuing.
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Yes, that may be a generational curse that's passing down.
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Your mother maybe would hold it back from your father and say, you know, I haven't had
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You know, I don't care if this, this, this, this, that.
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That's also something that could be passed on because you saw one of the behaviors of
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It may not be the real truth, but it's your truth.
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It's, you know, you have to marry a Hispanic person because we're Hispanic.
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You have to marry somebody that's also Hispanic.
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I grew up in a family that, hey, you know, you have to marry somebody that's a Middle Eastern.
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And, you know, that didn't look at, hey, all my friends, oh my goodness, he married an American.
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You should have seen the reaction of my friends at our wedding.
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You got all Middle Eastern hairy people on one side.
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You got all these Caucasian blue-eyed, green-eyed people on the other side.
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There's no way in the world this is going to work out.
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That is a generational curse of racism that could take place.
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But many times I heard somebody the other day say, I don't like working with white people.
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You know, because I believe the white man has this and white man has that and white man has this.
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Well, that's probably going to be passed on to your kid.
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You know, white people have been suppressing all this.
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I don't like working with black people because black people this and black people that.
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And you see what they're the crime and all this others.
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I don't want to work with Hispanics because they just want to do this.
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You may not even know it because every time we say racism, the first thing we think about is African-American.
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And it has to do with a complete different thing that you may have.
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I grew up, you know, you look at the Russians, Turkish, you know, all religions.
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It's either verbal abuse where you saw somebody lashing out on your wife, your father lashed out on your mother.
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So you do that to your wife or you saw your mother lash out on your father and you do that or your father lashed out on you.
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You know, sometimes this is more painful than a pau-pau.
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This is sometimes a lot more painful than you're giving your kid a pau-pau because this stays.
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This is a very, the tongue is a, it's a very powerful weapon.
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Believe me, it's a lot more powerful than a baseball bat.
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Because a baseball bat, you get a wound, you get over it.
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So you've got to write down what statements have been made to you that have been lingering with you from your mother or your father.
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I had to do this 11, 12 years ago to experience that.
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You've seen some, you know, fathers abuse the wife or mother abuses the husband.
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And you see that and a kid grows up thinking that's normal.
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By the way, let me add something else to this as well.
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Most people don't, if right now, think about the most embarrassing thing you've done on the last month that no one knows about.
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But if that vice all of a sudden became public right now on Facebook and social media, how would you and I react?
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You have no idea how many of us are being held back by a vice.
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A secret habit that you have that no one knows you do.
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A certain drug, alcohol, a mistress, online porn.
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Just sit down and eat cheesecake, chocolate, ice cream.
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Listen, you can only fool the world for so long with your vice until the vice catches up to all of us.
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And by the way, don't think for a moment there are these perfect people that don't have any vice.
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Like this is not something that the perfect church-going people don't struggle with.
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Everyone's closet has some skeletons in it, except some have a lot of skeletons.
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Some have a few, but everyone's got skeletons in it.
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The sooner you address your vice and you drop those two vices or one you're dealing with,
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it kind of sets you free a little bit more to get away from a curse that's holding you back.
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But you've got to sit down and do this exercise and find out for yourself.
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What do I do this whole thing here that I'm dealing with?
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You cannot sit here and tell yourself, oh, I'm okay, everything's okay.
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If you fool yourself, we can fool people for the rest of our lives.
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The most difficult person to fool is the man in the mirror.
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And let me tell you, the man in the mirror is the only person in your life you're going
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to have to live with for the rest of your life.
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Now your wife, now your husband, now your kids, now your mom, now your dad, now your best friend.
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And a man in the mirror does not hold back because he or she knows everything about you.
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The sooner you're real with yourself, the sooner you're liberated.
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You know how many people live with handcuffs and shackles that are non-existent, but they're
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These are non-existent, imaginary handcuffs and shackles simply because we don't want to
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be real with ourselves and say, I have some issues I've got to address, man.
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I've got to work on some of these issues that I'm getting.
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There is no intention of this, of, you know, you really need to feel that emotion in your
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There's got to be some annoyance, some emotional, some pain, some frustration being felt.
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When I say time out, I'm not talking two weeks off, a week off, or a weekend off.
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The only person that you've got to figure out to crack the code with is you.
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I had to go through these questions 11 years ago, 12 years ago, and I've talked about this
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Go take the ultimate self-discovery questionnaire.
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Take the ultimate self-discovery questionnaire.
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I launched this questionnaire a few months ago.
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Do you know how many people have taken the last two months?
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25,000 and change have taken it the last two months from 130 countries.
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And if I showed you the amount of emails we're getting with emotional emails, you'd be amazed
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But go take that questionnaire with your time out.
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Last one, the book, Go Get the 25 Loss for Doing Impossible.
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Listen, we had somebody from Facebook that came today.
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People are sneaking up in our office right now, left and right.
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Every day, people are coming from Korea, from all the parts of the world that are wanting
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to come and visit us just to sit down and talk business.
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Malaysia, Dubai, South America, they're just coming here.
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They're finding out our address and they're just coming and visiting us.
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I don't need to make another dollar or two on a book.
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But this book is a simple book I'm recommending to you.
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I wrote this book, 25 Loss for Doing the Impossible.
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The reason why this goes with this is because you've got three phases you need to go through.
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And five, once you go through that, make a big, bold move.
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Let people see a new set of eyes because you have finally faced yourself and you've addressed
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your curse, you've addressed your vice, you've addressed your issues.
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Moving on, this year is going to be an incredible year.
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I'm going to have the most incredible relationships.
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I'm going to have the most incredible friendships.
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I'm going to have a relationship with a God or a higher power.
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So with the 75 to 90 years that I have in this existence, I'm going to give value back
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And they're going to remember the mark I left in this world.
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I saw the veins that I used to make fun of my mom and dad with the veins.
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This guy's getting older and he's got an expiration date.
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Make these five points that you got to go through.
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And from there you come out and it's like this very sense of calmness about you.
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If you haven't already subscribed to Valuetainment on iTunes.
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And if you have any questions for me that you may have.
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And I actually do respond back when you snap me.