Episode 316 - How To Deal With Divas In Business
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
220.64397
Summary
Have you ever dealt with a diva in business? Do you know how to deal with them? Are they a good thing? Do they need to be dealt with or are they a bad thing? How do you deal with these divas?
Transcript
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30 seconds, one time for the underdog, ignition sequence start, let me see you put em up, reach
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the sky, touch the stars up above, cause it's one time for the underdog, one time for the
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I'm Patrick Biddy, your host of ITM, and today we have an interesting topic.
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You know how some call them narcissists, or some call them a lot of different names.
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Today we're going to talk about how to work with these divas in a work environment.
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A diva is someone who thinks very highly of themselves, has a dark side they're not aware
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of all the time, they want a ton of attention, a diva is a pain in the butt at times, has
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deep insecurities with a point to prove, bullies but never thinks they bully, could be passive
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aggressive at times, is willing to do whatever it takes for attention, loves taking credit
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for others' ideas, deflects mistakes and blames others, never wants to take responsibility,
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I didn't do it with somebody else who did it, feels entitled, demands a different kind of
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treatment, and last but not least is more about themselves than the team.
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Now, if you're listening to this, you're probably thinking about a few different names saying,
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oh my gosh, Bobby's like this, Mary's like this, Cindy's like this, I'm like this, I hope
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Here's the thing, if you are one of these, or if somebody on your team is one of these,
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why would anybody want to deal with divas like this?
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Maybe Billy Donovan doesn't know how to lead my, are all these guys divas?
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The reason why people, owners, CEOs, executives, leaders, sales leaders are willing to tolerate
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these divas is because the return is so high that it helps you experience massive success.
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However, some of you guys are saying, yes, I wish my boss would understand that I'm a
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real diva, and he just doesn't know how to work with me.
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You may not be a real diva, because there's also annoying divas.
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Annoying divas are those who want respect, but don't deserve it.
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They are secretly very lazy, hypocrites, unreliable, disrespectful, and not trustworthy.
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These guys are willing to work their tails off.
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If you know how to lead divas, they'll make you.
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If you are trying to learn how to lead divas, they'll slow you down, because you don't really
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And if you don't know how to lead divas, they're going to break you, because you're going to
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worry about your insecurities, and they'll eventually leave to another person who knows
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Now, does this mean that you give in to the diva all the time?
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Does this mean that, oh my gosh, do I just do everything they want me to do?
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I'm going to talk about what you do with the divas.
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I've had divas I work with with partners, employees, executives, investors, board members.
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I mean, I can go on and on and on with people in divas.
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Divas come in many different forms and many different departments and many different companies.
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I've dealt with a carrier, multi-billion dollar company, where the main relationship that
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You always have to throw in how amazing this person was, and at the same time, you have
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It was a bipolar relationship when you were dealing with this person.
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One day they're happy, one day they're not, because they needed it.
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Now, you may say, why would you deal with a company like that?
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You have to deal with that personality at that time.
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If you don't know, you're going to lose that relationship, so you've got to go back and
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Do you know what I'm going to do to your company?
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Do you know where your company is going to go now you've found somebody like me?
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We're going to go straight to the top because of me.
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And they're undermining everybody on their team, okay?
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They're undermining, undermining, undermining everybody on their team.
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Your goal as a leader is to help them with perspective and helping it be their ideas and sometimes
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having very serious conversations with them, getting to the point of the middle here, which
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Where they're still shining and they're still team.
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They're starting to realize, hey, diva, listen, you can be here, but you ain't going to be
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Every time you take credit away from that person that did it, every single time you don't
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give credit to that person, every single time you do something wrong and you blame this
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person, every single time you do it, they get a scar.
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You've got to bring them up here so they want to run with you.
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Because if we go here, you're going to get all the accolades you want.
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But the team is also going to make you look good together.
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So selfishly, they have to be painted a picture about, here's what you can have one day if you
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So you're trying to make them less and less and less selfish.
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Let me explain to you what they're very good at.
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If you don't do this, I'm leaving all the time.
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It's like dating a girl that every other day wants to break up with you.
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Because their entire lives, they've gotten things their own way.
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Their entire lives, they've gotten things their own way.
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Why does a diva eventually say, I'm willing to work with this person here.
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Well, why was it that Kobe Bryant, the first few times he played with Phil Jackson, is
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Jordan's won six championships, all with Phil Jackson.
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Kobe's won five championships, all with Phil Jackson.
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Because Phil knew how to deal with divas in his team.
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And Kobe finally matured to realize, if I want to get here, that's the one guy that knows
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The moment a diva knows that they can trust you, you gain points with them.
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Because someone in their lives did something to them.
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That they have this insecurity that they don't trust.
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Sometimes these guys that were divas had a very inconsistent parent.
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Somebody did something to them to become divas.
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All of us have some screwed up history in our family.
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So they like somebody to be consistent with them.
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Because they typically haven't had that in their lives.
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They want you to understand that at one point, they may not be reliable to you, but they still
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But then if eventually you consistently stay reliable to them, they kind of feel like,
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Dang, I'm probably not going to find somebody like this again.
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I am going to run with this person, and I'm no longer going to be a diva to this person.
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So many times, divas are going to break things.
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Because they're not just with you in the workplace.
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They're going home to friends, cars, partying, women, men.
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When you're there for them, when they hit rock bottom, they say,
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You know, all these other guys dropped Michael Phelps.
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The day Tiger won Masters, Phil Knight's net worth went up $335 million.
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Because Tiger said, Oh my gosh, this guy's got my back.
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He worked all these years and he brought back one to Nike.
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And last but not least, let me give you the last one here.
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Last one's a little weird, but you'll understand what this means.
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Divas want to work with somebody that is not afraid of them.
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If they're watching this, they'll remember this story.
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This guy had his own TV show, all this other stuff.
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Like, I'm not afraid of who you are, your resume, any of that stuff.
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If you're willing to listen, I can direct you to success.
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But I actually know what I'm doing and I'm not afraid of you.
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I had another guy at the beginning stages of running a business bullied me.
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And let's just, if I'm having a conversation with him, he was trying to push to see, test
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And one time, I would always call him and say, Hey, we've got to work this out.
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He says, He would be on the phone like passive aggressive.
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Always would pull one of those stuff off, right?
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And then one day, he was doing this, doing this, doing this, doing this.
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You cross this line with me, we have a problem.
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But if you cross the line and you go through the phase of not realizing the level of gratitude,
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trust, all this stuff I've already given you, so I already have credibility with you on
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But if you have already experienced this, then you don't tolerate it.
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He said to me one time on a call, he said, I just want you to know, we both know who calls
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Now, if we go a week, two weeks without calling, you know I'm not going to call you.
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You're going to be the first person to call me.
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And for three hours, I pointed every single thing about him out, how selfish he was.
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And I told him, I'm not afraid if you want to leave.
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Because he needed to realize, this dude is not afraid of you.
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Sometimes, leaders have divas on their team, but they're so afraid of losing divas, that
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And she had all these people with money around her, right?
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And she didn't want to be with somebody that was afraid of losing a diva.
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So all of these experiences add up to realizing a great company, a great company, today our company
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Because we have learned how to create an environment where we're able to foster divas,
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develop divas, work with them, give them the respect, give them the trust, give them the
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And if you try to cross this line, we're not playing that game.
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We have certain standards because our goal is to get you here.
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And if that message can come across to the person to say, shit, this just makes sense.
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You want an argument, but you never want anything in life and you never use your potential.
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Or are you starting to realize that if you want to be here, you need to be here.
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You need to also value the people around you because you need them.
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Are you allowing them to bully you, threaten you?
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Are you putting time on divas that are not going to do anything anyways?
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And if you figure out a way how to lead them, oh my gosh, it could make you.
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And you've got to identify all your divas in different departments.
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What could happen if you could actually lead these people?
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And by the way, if you haven't already subscribed to Valuetainment on iTunes, please do so.
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And if you have any questions for me that you may have, you can always find me on Snapchat,
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And I actually do respond back when you snap me or send me a message on Instagram.