Valuetainment - August 07, 2019


Episode 352： How To Recreate Your Identity

Topics
identity crisis tap into both of them
Hosted by
Patrick Bet-David
Mentioned
Hugh Jackman Michael Jordan Patrick Bett David Tom Bilyeu Babe Ruth Ben Davidson Snapchat
Episode 351： What’s Your Pain Tolerance As An Entrepreneur Episode 353： Confessions Of The Mafia Hitman For Tony Spilotro

Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

228.03

Word count

2,450

Sentence count

197

Harmful content

Misogyny

1

sentences flagged

Hate speech

2

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of Value Entertainment's new podcast, "Impact Theory," host Patrick Medvee talks with Impact Theory founder Tom Bailu about identity and how one can begin to shape their own identity. In this episode, Pat and Tom talk about the process of figuring out who they are and how to create their identity.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 30 seconds. One time for the underdog. Ignition sequence start. Let me see you put them up. Reach the sky, turn the stars up above. Cause it's one time for the underdog. One time for the underdog.
00:00:17.300 I'm Patrick Medevi, host of Value Entertainment. And today I'm going to share a clip from a podcast I did with Tom Bailu from Impact Theory when he asked me to question, Pat, how can one recreate their identity? We're going to talk about that in today's episode.
00:00:29.240 One thing in your book that you talked about that I thought was really interesting was you asked the question, to your point about questions, when was the last time you thought about your identity? And you just brought that up. What's that process for people? How do you be, like, how, what is the identity? Which I think most people give stats. Like, what do you mean by that? And how can people begin to shape their identity?
00:00:48.640 So, Tom, who were you in high school?
00:00:51.500 What was my identity?
00:00:52.880 Yeah, so if I was in high school with you, who were you? You were a comedian?
00:00:55.380 A thousand percent.
00:00:56.160 Okay, comedian.
00:00:57.200 Yeah.
00:00:57.320 When did it change?
00:00:58.100 As soon as I went to college. I consciously decided I wanted to become the artist, which was not necessarily the right decision, but that was, yeah, when I changed.
00:01:07.880 And then what happened from artist to quest?
00:01:10.040 Poverty.
00:01:11.300 Got it.
00:01:11.540 And so I start, want to be the funny guy because I need attention in high school. By the end of high school, I'm very good at making people laugh in a sort of living room funny way.
00:01:23.140 I do countless hours of practice of stand-up comedy, and when I go to college, I'm like, my only style of humor is self-deprecating, so I'm always making fun of myself, which actually makes me think a little bit less of myself.
00:01:34.920 And so I very much had an inferiority complex in high school. I cheated my way to being in the top 10 of my graduating class. I did terribly on my SATs. And I come into film school, and I'm like, this is what I want to do with the rest of my life. Like, I actually want to be good at this.
00:01:48.760 And that's one sort of realization I'm grateful for was I realized at some point you're in the big bad world, and you're either good or you're not. And so you better stop cheating, really pay attention, and get good. And so I thought I need to take myself more seriously, stop making fun of myself. So I didn't tell anybody that I was, you know, a comedic person or anything. I didn't make jokes, nothing.
00:02:09.880 And so I began to adopt the identity of the artist. I have some artistic failures, which creates this identity crisis. I'm very much in the grips of poverty now because I've graduated. My parents aren't helping me anymore. I'm selling insurance door to door.
00:02:26.620 What year is this?
00:02:27.480 This would have been 99.
00:02:29.280 Wow. That's 20 years ago.
00:02:31.360 Yeah. And I'm just like in this, I'm sliding towards depression. I have no sense of how I can make things come true. This is all pre-internet.
00:02:39.880 So like, there's just, there's no hope for me. Like there's the idea to make $100,000 film, which back then there was no YouTube, there was no video cameras you could make movies on. I mean, it just wasn't a thing.
00:02:50.660 So it was like $100,000 film might as well have been $100 million film. So I'm stuck. What am I going to do? And that's when I meet these two entrepreneurs who were like, look, you're coming to the world with your handout. And if you want to control the art, you have to control the resources.
00:03:03.120 And so that began a very long journey of identity for me, of figuring out who am I? How do I define myself now? And how is that useful?
00:03:11.040 Wow.
00:03:11.420 Like understanding that it is completely malleable. I can decide right now that I'm somebody else, that my identity is something new and something different.
00:03:19.900 Like I remember the day I told people I was going to start lifting. And I just said, right now, today I'm lifting. And I told people I'm going to put on muscle. I'm going to look like Hugh Jackman. Everybody's like, yeah, yeah, right.
00:03:28.920 And I just went beast mode. And I just started working out all the time. And I realized, whoa, like it's a demarcation line in the sand. Yesterday at this time, I did not have the sense that I'm going to become like Hugh Jackman, that I am a lifter.
00:03:42.380 I am somebody who sticks through with what they say. And now today I'm just going to decide that is me. And so I began telling people it, which gave all this pressure that I had to live up to it.
00:03:52.040 And I began to realize like, whoa, this is a lever that you can pull and it drives behavior.
00:03:59.300 That's amazing. I mean, that pretty much explains the whole thing about identity, right? So I think the first identity we have is whatever identity we're trying to get attention for.
00:04:09.760 You know, when you come out, you're saying your family, extremely obese, I think you said. So I don't know, was it a mom and dad stayed together? Was it a healthy family? Was it loving? Was it a crazy environment? Was it a lot of pressure?
00:04:21.360 No, like it was pretty good. But my parents end up. So I have this recurring nightmare as a kid and I can't explain it. I'm in a loveless marriage.
00:04:28.380 So imagine me at 14. I've never had a relationship, but I have this recurring nightmare about being in a loveless marriage.
00:04:35.580 Not realizing, of course, my parents were in a loveless marriage and I just didn't know.
00:04:39.120 And so on some subconscious level, I was obviously picking up on that mad respect to my parents who stayed together until three weeks after I left for college.
00:04:48.200 And then they split.
00:04:49.300 Get out of here.
00:04:50.020 No, and I actually respect it like that. I would never do that. I would never repay that because that's so crazy to me to live a life that's less than it could be for your kids.
00:04:59.200 Just for you.
00:04:59.660 Which is why I don't have children.
00:05:00.660 Makes sense now.
00:05:02.220 So, but they did that. I'm very grateful.
00:05:04.360 Wow.
00:05:04.680 Going back to the identity part. You know, you had a moment that you had to make a decision and you asked some questions and you met a couple people that eventually inspired you to want to make change.
00:05:15.680 And then you went after what you wanted to do. And that day when you said, I'm going to start looking like Hugh Jackman the next day.
00:05:21.140 And one day the decision, not that serious. The next day, here's who I'm going to end up being.
00:05:25.540 When I listen to your story, it's all why two. And we don't spend enough time with why two.
00:05:30.220 Why two is linked to identity. How two is systems, learning. It's a skill. It's a skill set. Anybody can pick that up.
00:05:37.960 So, identity is you asking the questions until eventually you get to a point that you get to the deeper part of who do you want to be?
00:05:46.040 What life do you want to live? And why do you want to live this life? Why is it important to you?
00:05:48.860 Why is it what you're putting through all these hours? Why would you want to do that?
00:05:52.580 That transition when you go through it. And then the pressure part when you said, here's who I'm going to be, where you declare your intentions to the world.
00:05:59.880 This is what I'm going to be doing. A lot of times we keep things to secret.
00:06:03.160 And so there's a debate. Some say you should never declare your intentions to the world
00:06:06.260 because that pressure could create anxiety. You should never do it.
00:06:09.700 You know, like Babe Ruth pointed a finger and I'm going to hit a home run. What if you don't hit it? What if you fail?
00:06:13.520 You know, what if you say, Michael Jordan says, the Bulls never win and lose in game seven.
00:06:17.960 You should never say that because there's too much pressure on the players.
00:06:20.080 Or then the other side say, well, you should put the pressure on yourself because your teammates play better because it's not on them.
00:06:25.140 It's on you. And the leader does that. To me, I think declaring intention serves a purpose.
00:06:30.440 I think when you go out there and you say, this is what I'm going to be doing.
00:06:33.360 This is where I'm going to be at.
00:06:34.520 You officially have the world holding you accountable.
00:06:36.920 That pressure could be good pressure to put into your life.
00:06:39.860 We hear the phrase peer pressure and we always get the negative connotation with peer pressure.
00:06:47.180 It's like, hey, don't do drugs because of peer pressure.
00:06:50.340 You know, say no to drugs, peer pressure.
00:06:52.440 Go to school, peer pressure, peer pressure.
00:06:54.680 Where, I mean, it all depends who the peer is that's giving you pressure.
00:06:57.460 Because if you've got the right peer giving the right kind of pressure, you can do some big things in your life.
00:07:00.740 So I think that additional kind of peer pressure you put into yourself, you're in the right circles, right environments.
00:07:07.180 Those two guys that, you know, put some kind of a peer pressure or direction into you can really be a spark to change someone's life.
00:07:13.400 Where all of a sudden the identity goes from being a regular person to the next day, no one recognizes them.
00:07:17.900 In the world of social media, of influencers, there's some that will say things like, listen, you have a lot of time.
00:07:24.940 Take your time.
00:07:25.920 You're okay.
00:07:26.880 You're going to be all right.
00:07:27.960 You're going to be fine.
00:07:28.620 You have a lot of time.
00:07:29.760 And that's fine.
00:07:30.640 That can work for some audiences.
00:07:32.980 And sometimes you wonder if it's almost like a strategy so other people don't catch up to you because they think they're like, honestly, you sit there and say, is this guy really that dark that he's trying to get everybody else to slow down?
00:07:41.380 So he kind of, you know, works his ass up.
00:07:43.600 Hey, everybody else, you slow down.
00:07:44.740 It's okay.
00:07:45.660 Where for me on the other side is, listen, this never lies.
00:07:49.120 This lies.
00:07:50.300 When I look at my hand this way, I'm 25 years old.
00:07:53.040 When I look at my hand this way, I'm 40 years old.
00:07:55.580 We look at our hands too often this way.
00:07:57.600 I like to look at my hands like this.
00:07:59.220 This doesn't lie.
00:08:00.640 This is a 40-year-old wrinkles.
00:08:02.580 This is 40, okay?
00:08:04.180 I can't lie about that.
00:08:05.760 That's 40 years old.
00:08:07.100 Now, I can look at this and say, no, I'm a lot younger.
00:08:08.920 I got a lot of time.
00:08:09.620 We don't.
00:08:09.940 So, for me, I would sit there.
00:08:13.720 One of my biggest drivers was, you're at your dad's funeral.
00:08:17.660 This sounds crazy to some people, but I have visualized.
00:08:21.620 It's going to be the first time my dad's ever going to hear this because I've never said this to him because, you know, I just don't want to tell him this kind of stuff.
00:08:26.280 I don't want him to think about it.
00:08:27.440 Like, I don't want him to say, hey, I can't believe you said this.
00:08:30.160 I have visualized my dad's funeral 50,000 times.
00:08:34.640 And when I visualize, I'm like, okay, you're speaking.
00:08:42.280 What are you saying?
00:08:43.580 You know, you're the closing speaker.
00:08:45.240 What are you going to say?
00:08:46.500 You okay with it?
00:08:47.700 Are you okay with who's going to be there?
00:08:49.920 You know, are you okay if he dies at this age?
00:08:51.680 Your kids never met him.
00:08:53.000 They don't have a relationship with grandpa like you don't.
00:08:55.620 For you, it matters because of Bet David's last name.
00:08:58.020 You're the only person that can continue this Bet David's last name.
00:09:00.840 All the other guys didn't have kids.
00:09:02.740 You have to continue this generation. 0.94
00:09:04.320 There's a legacy.
00:09:05.000 Assyrian community is a small community.
00:09:06.580 We're endangered species.
00:09:07.880 It's not like there's millions of us.
00:09:09.160 It's a very small community of Assyria.
00:09:10.720 We lost our country.
00:09:12.360 So I go there and I'm like, oh my gosh, that's not how it's going to be.
00:09:14.940 Here's how it's going to be.
00:09:16.060 He's going to live this.
00:09:16.900 This is what's going to take place.
00:09:18.140 So when that day comes, I'm not going to have any regrets because I'm going to be good.
00:09:20.500 That visualization of going there creates so much urgency for me that makes me move.
00:09:27.500 Too often, this whole gift that we have, we're not putting that gift of imagination and visualization in place.
00:09:33.480 And so either we waste it and we just go into la-la land. 0.92
00:09:37.140 Oh my gosh, what if I have a big house?
00:09:39.060 What if my zip code is Beverly Hills?
00:09:41.360 What if I have this big house?
00:09:42.420 And what if I could put the big parties?
00:09:43.740 What if I date these hot girls? 1.00
00:09:45.320 What if I date the best looking guy?
00:09:46.640 What if I have this?
00:09:47.340 What if I have that?
00:09:48.140 That's fine, but that's not deep enough.
00:09:49.600 You got to go really deep, really deep with purpose and really deep with if you don't
00:09:53.680 move, what could take place?
00:09:54.720 So again, going back to it for me is for people to sit there and realize if you really want
00:10:00.500 to move yourself, ask the questions, go deeper on what life could happen, both good and bad.
00:10:05.640 Don't just say, oh, all good or all bad.
00:10:07.960 Tap into both of them.
00:10:08.840 And hopefully that creates urgency for you to start taking the next necessary steps to grow
00:10:13.540 your business.
00:10:14.140 But the gift of imagination and visualization is rarely used properly.
00:10:19.700 Thanks everybody for listening.
00:10:21.540 And by the way, if you haven't already subscribed to Valuetainment on iTunes, please do so.
00:10:26.100 Give us a five star, write a review if you haven't already.
00:10:29.000 And if you have any questions for me that you may have, you can always find me on Snapchat,
00:10:33.080 Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube.
00:10:35.040 Just search my name, Patrick David.
00:10:36.920 And I actually do respond back when you snap me or send me a message on Instagram.
00:10:41.940 With that being said, have a great day today.
00:10:43.660 Take care, everybody.
00:10:44.380 Bye-bye.
00:10:44.620 Bye-bye.