Valuetainment - September 16, 2019


Episode 367： How to Make Tough Decisions


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

233.67038

Word count

2,596

Sentence count

164

Harmful content

Misogyny

1

sentences flagged

Hate speech

2

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, Value Tim talks about how to make tough decisions in life and how to deal with the consequences of making tough decisions. He uses the Prisoner's Dilemma as an example of how to solve the tough decision.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 30 seconds, one time for the underdog, ignition sequence start, let me see you put em up, reach the sky, touch the stars up above, cause it's one time for the underdog, one time for the underdog.
00:00:17.360 I'm Patrick with your host of Value Tim and today we're going to talk about you making tough decisions.
00:00:21.220 Yes, some of us get stuck making the tough decisions because we don't know if we're making the right decision.
00:00:26.240 I'm going to give you a system today on how to make those tough decisions that you've been setting aside for a long time.
00:00:31.100 Point number one on making tough decisions is game theory.
00:00:34.740 Let me explain to you what game theory means and what that has to do with you and I making tough decisions.
00:00:38.440 So John Nash, a famous mathematician, a story that's a very unique story.
00:00:42.900 Matter of fact, a movie was made about him called A Beautiful Mind.
00:00:45.480 Russell Crowe plays John Nash.
00:00:47.600 You know that one scene he's working with all these numbers and data on the wall?
00:00:51.060 That's John Nash.
00:00:52.180 He came out with Game Theory and Game Theory is a system to help you and I make decisions with the biggest odds being in our favor.
00:01:00.060 Let me explain to you.
00:01:01.500 This whole concept is simplified in a story of Prisoner's Dilemma.
00:01:05.300 Maybe you've heard Prisoner's Dilemma before.
00:01:06.980 If you haven't, this kind of helps you understand the whole decision.
00:01:10.180 So imagine you, your name is John.
00:01:12.800 Bobby comes up to you and Bobby says,
00:01:14.500 Hey, John, I want us to go rob this bank.
00:01:17.600 If we rob the bank, I have a plan we're going to get $2 million.
00:01:20.180 You get a million, I get a million.
00:01:21.420 And you say, you know what?
00:01:22.700 I'm game.
00:01:23.380 Let's go rob this bank together, okay?
00:01:25.140 Again, this is hypothetical.
00:01:26.280 I'm not encouraging you to go rob the bank.
00:01:28.280 Everybody blames Valuetainment for it.
00:01:29.900 So Bobby says, let's go rob a bank.
00:01:31.460 You guys go rob a bank.
00:01:32.800 So while you're about to rob this bank and go away with $2 million, you get caught.
00:01:36.280 You get arrested.
00:01:36.980 Cops take you. 0.81
00:01:38.320 Your last chance with Bobby, you're talking to him and say,
00:01:40.500 Listen, I'm not going to snitch.
00:01:42.120 You're not going to snitch.
00:01:42.880 I'm not going to snitch.
00:01:43.700 Now, you're not best friends, but these are just somebody you're going to go rob money with.
00:01:47.200 And you say, okay, I'm not going to snitch.
00:01:48.880 So then you go your separate ways.
00:01:50.580 You go in the room, the interrogation room.
00:01:52.760 Cops, all these guys show up.
00:01:53.920 Good cop, bad cop.
00:01:54.660 They do all the stuff that they do.
00:01:56.140 Then there's the prisoner's dilemma.
00:01:57.500 They give you a deal.
00:01:58.200 And here's what they say.
00:01:58.960 They say, John, I'll tell you something.
00:02:01.400 Bobby's about to snitch on you.
00:02:03.080 And let me explain to you why you may want to consider snitching on him before he snitches on you.
00:02:06.980 And you say, I'm not going to snitch.
00:02:08.160 In your mind, you're saying this because there's no way Bobby's snitching on you.
00:02:10.700 Here's how it works.
00:02:12.040 John, you're probably thinking about not snitching.
00:02:13.860 But let me explain to you how this is going to work.
00:02:15.660 If you don't snitch and Bobby doesn't snitch, you get two years, he gets two years.
00:02:20.800 Fair play.
00:02:21.500 But if you snitch, we will give you immunity.
00:02:24.680 And if he doesn't snitch, you get zero years, he gets 10 years.
00:02:29.440 But if you snitch and he snitches, both of you get five years.
00:02:34.360 So what would you like to do?
00:02:35.640 And you're sitting there.
00:02:36.380 You're like, I don't know, Bobby.
00:02:38.520 We're not friends.
00:02:39.400 We're not family.
00:02:40.540 If he gets the same exact offer, what's Bobby going to do?
00:02:43.940 So you have to ask yourself, he's most likely going to snitch on me.
00:02:47.460 So what are the odds?
00:02:48.480 How do you make that decision?
00:02:49.620 And whatever decision you make, then you have to live with the consequences.
00:02:53.700 And are you okay with that?
00:02:54.920 Because if you don't snitch, you're going to take the risk for two or 10.
00:02:58.680 If you do snitch, zero or five.
00:03:00.380 What are you going to be doing?
00:03:00.980 That's the prisoner's dilemma, right?
00:03:02.080 So what does that have to do with making tough choices?
00:03:04.640 Okay.
00:03:05.360 In life, you fight somebody.
00:03:07.500 You punch them in the face.
00:03:08.620 That's action.
00:03:09.620 I punch you in the face.
00:03:11.260 I am going to sit there and say, if I punch you in the face, the consequences are you're
00:03:15.700 going to punch me back. 0.80
00:03:16.880 And so if you punch me back, my reaction is what?
00:03:18.940 Either to fight or run away.
00:03:20.600 And if I run away, how long do I have to run away?
00:03:22.960 Forever.
00:03:23.600 If I fight, maybe I beat you and you're like, I'm tougher than you so we no longer fight
00:03:27.680 anymore.
00:03:28.200 But it's constantly going.
00:03:29.800 So in life, whatever decision you're getting ready to make, you want to marry, you want to
00:03:34.380 go out and raise money, you want to go invest, you want to go be a businessman, you want
00:03:37.520 to quit your job, you want to be this.
00:03:39.320 You have to go to that position of asking yourself, if I take action, what are the consequences?
00:03:45.940 And the consequences I get, how do I respond and react to these consequences?
00:03:50.620 And then for the rest of your career, it's the same exact thing.
00:03:53.420 Constantly have to repeat this entire thing over and over and over again.
00:03:56.200 And that's essentially game theory.
00:03:57.640 So point number two is worst case scenario.
00:04:00.300 Let me explain to you what worst case scenario is.
00:04:01.940 So many, many years ago, I read a book called How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale
00:04:06.860 Carnegie.
00:04:07.400 In the book, he talks about when you make a decision, you have to take yourself to the
00:04:12.980 worst case scenario.
00:04:14.540 Meaning, if I decide to have kids, what is the worst thing that could happen to me?
00:04:21.180 Can you live with it?
00:04:22.740 If I decide to get married and it doesn't work out, what's the worst thing that can happen
00:04:27.300 to me?
00:04:27.700 Divorce.
00:04:28.100 Can you live with it?
00:04:29.200 If I decide to join the army, what's the worst thing that can happen to me?
00:04:33.400 I can go to war and get killed.
00:04:34.680 Are you okay to live with it?
00:04:36.340 What's the worst thing that can happen to me if I invest into this company?
00:04:40.340 You could go out of business, you could lose a million dollars.
00:04:42.500 Can you live with it?
00:04:43.140 What's the worst thing that's going to happen to me if I start a business and I jeopardize
00:04:47.080 my job that I'm making $160,000 a year?
00:04:49.560 Or you go out of business, you lose $600,000 of savings, can you live with that?
00:04:53.700 So the whole worst case scenario you got to do is, whatever decision you're getting ready
00:04:56.940 to make, that's a tough decision, ask yourself, what's the worst thing that can happen?
00:05:00.360 Can you live with that?
00:05:01.280 If the answer is yes, make the decision, move on, because that's what you're living with.
00:05:05.520 That's the worst thing that's going to happen, because anything above that is gravy.
00:05:09.420 Worst case you accept, you move on.
00:05:11.060 So that mentally you have to get yourself ready, so if it ever happens to you, you're not surprised.
00:05:15.500 Point number three is very simple and it's actually very quick.
00:05:17.500 If the decision doesn't match your values and principles, move on.
00:05:21.480 Meaning, you're going to have a lot of different opportunities in your life.
00:05:23.820 And when I say opportunities, I'm not just talking about money and making millions.
00:05:27.000 I'm talking about different relationships, people that enter in your life.
00:05:30.560 If an opportunity comes your way, and it's very attractive, but it doesn't match your values
00:05:35.980 and principles that you live by, don't even think twice about it.
00:05:39.440 Move on.
00:05:40.040 That headache, and you sleeping on a hard pillow at night, is not worthy of you making that
00:05:46.660 decision, because then your mind is being consumed of something you did that doesn't
00:05:50.340 match your values and principles.
00:05:52.040 The moment you're unaligned, you're not fulfilled, and you won't enjoy yourself while you're doing
00:05:57.160 that.
00:05:57.360 So it's simple.
00:05:58.220 Decision doesn't match your values and principles.
00:06:00.100 Don't even think about it.
00:06:01.020 Move on.
00:06:01.440 Point number four, very simple.
00:06:02.820 Go get great counsel.
00:06:04.080 And here's what I mean by great counsel.
00:06:05.300 So just today, I had a very, very successful entrepreneur came over here, he and his wife,
00:06:10.180 and had one that came on Sunday.
00:06:11.780 And we meet every quarter or so, and we go through their plans and the next few tough decisions
00:06:16.860 they got to make.
00:06:17.900 And a lot of these decisions they had to make were personal, and we went through it.
00:06:21.880 And the one thing I always say when you go get counsel for somebody, make sure you get
00:06:26.220 somebody that is as neutral as possible about the decision.
00:06:29.700 Meaning, say your marriage is not working out, and you're saying, I'm done.
00:06:32.960 I don't want to do anything with it.
00:06:33.980 If you go talk to somebody that doesn't support marriage, you already know what they're going
00:06:38.320 to say.
00:06:39.180 If you go talk to somebody that's single, they're probably going to recommend you to 1.00
00:06:42.520 be single.
00:06:43.260 If you go talk to somebody that's very reasonable, they've been married before, and it's worked
00:06:48.220 out, and they had a close call of them also not wanting to do it, then you may have somebody
00:06:53.380 reasonable.
00:06:53.900 But the number one factor I look for when I'm asking counsel from somebody is being absolutely
00:06:59.000 reasonable to be able to process a decision in a reasonable fashion.
00:07:03.240 without adding emotions to it.
00:07:05.360 If you can find somebody like that to take counsel from, you're going to make so many
00:07:09.600 better choices, especially the tough ones, because they may give you an angle you're
00:07:13.860 not looking at.
00:07:14.480 You're going to say, oh, you know what?
00:07:15.640 Never thought about it that way before.
00:07:17.020 Let me try this before I make this final decision to cut this, or leave this, or do this, or do
00:07:21.480 that.
00:07:22.020 It'll help you out, make much better.
00:07:23.980 I would say it'll help you by 90% make much better decisions in your lifetime.
00:07:27.700 So point number five is what is your alternative?
00:07:29.480 And let me explain to you what I mean by what's your alternative.
00:07:31.880 So you're getting close to making a tough decision, right?
00:07:34.320 And you're kind of like, you're a little bit hesitant about it.
00:07:36.540 You're not 100% there yet.
00:07:38.420 Sometimes all you've got to do is grab a paper and pen and say, okay, what's my alternative?
00:07:41.280 If I decide not to do this, what is my alternative?
00:07:44.000 You know, I don't know if I'm ready to buy this house or not, and it's a million eight,
00:07:48.080 and I don't know if I want to buy it, and we're going to have to put $450,000 of down payment.
00:07:52.780 Do you have any alternatives?
00:07:53.720 And you sit down and say, you know, I do, I kind of like this more.
00:07:56.540 You always look at alternatives.
00:07:57.780 When you look at a business you're about to do, and you're going to work with somebody,
00:08:00.940 I just don't know if I'm fully feeling it.
00:08:02.620 Is there an alternative?
00:08:03.700 And is it, isn't it?
00:08:04.600 Because sometimes you'll have alternatives, and the alternative is going to make you even
00:08:07.880 be more confident about the decision that you're getting ready to make.
00:08:11.240 But simple, tough of the decision, see if you have alternatives, and then try to pick
00:08:15.660 the best decision you have amongst the alternatives.
00:08:18.380 Point number six is called decision fatigue.
00:08:20.720 Let me explain decision fatigue.
00:08:22.680 So anytime I'm making a big decision, I never make the big decision when I'm fatigued for
00:08:29.840 the day.
00:08:30.260 For example, they would say a lot of times, say, if you can go to somebody and get them
00:08:34.520 to buy late at night because they're tired, and they just kind of want to get ready and
00:08:37.580 say, yes, it's easier to sell somebody because they're so tired, right?
00:08:40.880 Car salesmen, they had this idea 20 years ago, the longer we keep the customer there for
00:08:45.780 three hours, they're going to buy because they fatigue.
00:08:47.640 So they finally say, oh, let's just do it, forget about it.
00:08:50.840 Fatigue is a method of selling, but you don't want to use fatigue in a method of you making
00:08:54.940 decisions.
00:08:55.820 The moment you get to it and you're like, I think I'm getting fatigued, I don't think
00:08:59.300 I'm going to make the right decision.
00:09:00.340 Just say, you know what?
00:09:01.000 Let me sleep on it.
00:09:01.940 I'll get back to you tomorrow.
00:09:03.060 Simple.
00:09:03.860 Never make a massive decision when you're fatiguing.
00:09:07.200 Always make a massive decision when you're all there, you're rested, you're strong,
00:09:11.880 your mind is in a good place.
00:09:12.820 You're like, you know what?
00:09:13.600 Here's what I think we ought to do.
00:09:14.600 I'm not ready to make this decision right now, we're passing on this.
00:09:16.920 Great.
00:09:17.440 So again, decision fatigue.
00:09:18.960 While you're making a big decision, are you fatigued?
00:09:20.680 If you are, sleep for a night and then think about it tomorrow.
00:09:23.200 And last but not least, point number seven is once you make the decision, don't go back
00:09:27.060 on it.
00:09:27.460 Let me explain to you what I mean by this.
00:09:28.700 Too often people make decisions and they're like, I shouldn't have made the decision.
00:09:32.740 What if I would have done this?
00:09:34.060 What if I'm, oh my gosh.
00:09:35.660 The more you go there, you actually get demotivated and you become bitter and you're not happy and
00:09:40.940 you don't perform well and your business takes it, so let me explain.
00:09:44.240 We had a meeting the other day with our executives and I said, listen guys, too often we hire
00:09:49.760 way too fast and we fire way too slow.
00:09:52.600 What do you mean by that?
00:09:53.800 I said, too often we hire way too fast and we fire way too slow, which we need to hire
00:09:58.360 slow with more options and fire fast if we know it's not going to work.
00:10:02.340 Why are we taking our time with this?
00:10:03.780 Why are we moving so quickly on the beginning decision?
00:10:06.200 What does that mean to you?
00:10:07.800 So a big decision, a big decision that you have, the process is going to be slower, but
00:10:13.640 the movement is going to be faster, okay?
00:10:16.060 Once you make the decision, stick to it.
00:10:17.500 So it doesn't matter if it's going to win.
00:10:19.740 I have made so many decisions in my career, buying, investing, selling, hiring, firing,
00:10:27.260 cutting a relationship, starting a relationship.
00:10:29.240 So many have worked, so many have not worked, but to sit there and relive it and go through
00:10:33.980 it and say, oh my goodness, I made a big mistake.
00:10:36.300 Every time I've gone that road, it's never served me well.
00:10:38.660 So for you, once you make a decision, don't go back on it again.
00:10:42.100 Thanks everybody for listening and by the way, if you haven't already subscribed to
00:10:45.180 Valuetainment on iTunes, please do so.
00:10:48.040 Give us a five star, write a review if you haven't already and if you have any questions for
00:10:52.260 me that you may have, you can always find me on Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook or YouTube.
00:10:56.840 Just search my name, Patrick MidDavid and I actually do respond back when you snap me
00:11:01.720 or send me a message on Instagram.
00:11:03.880 With that being said, have a great day today.
00:11:05.620 Take care everybody.
00:11:06.340 Bye-bye.