Valuetainment - Episode 379： 10 Enemies Of Success

00:00:00.380 30 seconds. One time for the underdog. Ignition sequence start.

00:00:07.000 Let me see you put them up. Reach the sky, turn the stars up above.

00:00:11.140 Cause it's one time for the underdog. One time for the underdog.

00:00:17.360 I'm Patrick Bidim, your host of ITIM, and in today's episode I'm going to talk to you about the 10 enemies of success.

00:00:22.740 Point number one, judging a business based on a great year.

00:00:25.800 A lot of times people say, Pat, we're blowing up. Did you see what we did last year?

00:00:29.600 Show me your numbers. Well, in 2014 we did $500,000. Then we went to a million. Then million one.

00:00:35.260 Then we dropped a little bit, but we went up last year. And we went up to $4 million.

00:00:40.160 We're absolutely killing it. So, on the outside, everything looks good.

00:00:44.840 Then you open up the engine. You start looking at the numbers. It's one big sale.

00:00:48.660 Or it's one big customer. It's one big account that made them spike up.

00:00:52.200 So, I've experienced this with my business. By the way, this also applied to a bad year.

00:00:56.160 Or a great year. You can't, you know, judge your business based on one bad year or one great year.

00:01:00.840 My rule is very simple. If you grew 100% this year, and you do that three years in a row of 100%,

00:01:07.580 then you have a legitimate business.

00:01:09.520 If you grew by 100% this year, next year is 10%, the following year is 5%, you never did 100%.

00:01:15.640 It's the rule of three. If you do a number three years in a row, it becomes real.

00:01:20.760 Point number two, building your business based on quick fix campaigns rather than strong principles.

00:01:28.040 There are a lot of businesses that are like, we got a new sale going on.

00:01:30.980 We got a sale going on. We got a sale going on.

00:01:33.360 It's always built on a sale.

00:01:35.080 This product is normally $19,999.

00:01:38.080 But in the next five minutes, just for you, because we like you, even though we've never met you before, only $99.

00:01:44.680 You got to take out your credit card, five minutes, $459, $458.

00:01:49.020 Sign up today, and then you go to another website, you come back, it's the same exact, five minutes, $459.

00:01:54.620 It works with certain people, but that's not a real business to build on.

00:01:58.400 That's not a real philosophy to build on.

00:02:00.600 I suggest building on real business philosophies, which we'll get to here in a minute,

00:02:04.600 that builds you real business regardless of a sale, regardless of a market crash,

00:02:09.660 regardless of a recession, regardless of any of that stuff,

00:02:12.160 because you have the right philosophies in place.

00:02:14.580 We'll get to it in a minute.

00:02:15.720 Point number three, flattery.

00:02:17.860 Nothing's worse than everybody telling you how amazing you are, and you believe in it.

00:02:21.660 Oh my gosh, you're so amazing.

00:02:23.140 Oh my gosh, you're a great CEO.

00:02:24.580 Oh my gosh, you're doing great stuff.

00:02:26.140 I have a very simple philosophy when it comes down to flattery.

00:02:28.800 If it's not my wife, who knows all my flaws, she's seen me in my worst places.

00:02:34.480 If it isn't the people that I've been working with for years, who know everything about us.

00:02:38.360 If it isn't the people in my immediate family whom I trust, the compliments generally comes

00:02:43.460 from this year leaves here.

00:02:44.860 When you guys say, Pat, you're so amazing, it goes boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

00:02:48.620 Why?

00:02:49.340 Because you don't know every aspect of my business and my life.

00:02:52.760 But if my board says, I can't believe what's happened with the business, Pat, the last decision

00:02:56.440 we made, that was great, and I think you took the right lead on it.

00:02:59.120 That's a compliment that you should take.

00:03:01.420 Everybody telling you this, then what happens, you go home like this.

00:03:04.700 Honey, why do you talk to me like this?

00:03:05.900 Do you know how everybody looks at me?

00:03:07.200 Do you realize who I am?

00:03:08.580 Why do you talk to me like this?

00:03:10.060 Because flattery fooled you into thinking you are God and you are not God.

00:03:13.880 So flattery hurts all the other relationships around you if you let it get to your head.

00:03:18.260 Number four, isolation.

00:03:21.060 You're growing.

00:03:22.360 You're typically around everybody.

00:03:24.500 Then your office gets further and further and further and further away from everybody.

00:03:30.660 Then you no longer come and shake hands and talk to people.

00:03:33.680 Then there is a wall.

00:03:34.660 Your customers, your employees, your salespeople, your vendors, your partners, they no longer

00:03:39.600 talk.

00:03:39.980 You're isolated.

00:03:41.220 You're on an island of your own because you're so important.

00:03:43.760 You're so incredible.

00:03:45.020 And then all of a sudden, you are irrelevant because no one knows who you are.

00:03:48.500 And I know a lot of books out there, a lot of books out there that tell you, well, you

00:03:51.640 should do this.

00:03:52.180 You should disappear.

00:03:52.840 You should do that.

00:03:53.740 I say it all the time.

00:03:55.160 But I don't tell you to disappear from your employees, from your customers, from your vendors,

00:04:00.560 from your partners.

00:04:01.620 If you're going to disappear from people, disappear from your critics, disappear from

00:04:05.980 your haters, disappear from your prior friends or family members that said you'll never make

00:04:10.460 it, then show up five years later saying, Merry Christmas.

00:04:14.400 Here's Patrick Gray, David 6.0.

00:04:16.040 Here's you, 6.0.

00:04:17.580 This is what's happened in my life.

00:04:19.200 Without you saying anything, everybody already knows what you've been doing.

00:04:22.920 But in a business world, isolation can hurt you tremendously.

00:04:25.980 It's a big enemy if you isolate yourself from everybody.

00:04:29.740 Number five, perfection.

00:04:31.040 You got perfection, you got magic.

00:04:33.380 I work with a lot of people.

00:04:34.420 Today, we're talking about a new leadership principle we're going to be teaching to a certain

00:04:39.060 group of our guys that they're going to go take this course.

00:04:41.040 There's four different types of leaders when it comes down to coaching.

00:04:43.900 There's doers, there's talkers, there's controllers, and there's supporters, right?

00:04:47.500 Doers, talkers, controllers, supporters.

00:04:49.380 Okay.

00:04:50.520 Perfection.

00:04:51.580 Controllers typically want so much control of everything because no one can do it as

00:04:58.120 good as them.

00:04:58.960 You know what those that are controllers do?

00:05:00.900 There's so much about perfection that no one around them becomes leaders because no one

00:05:05.440 around them can ever be as good as you because they never give up too much.

00:05:08.860 Everything has to be perfect.

00:05:10.580 Everything has to be flawless.

00:05:11.700 You don't see a lot of leaders being around them.

00:05:14.220 Sometimes if you're a controller, you know your personality, you got to kind of start empowering

00:05:18.600 and not seeking perfection, just progress, seeing your guys getting better, and then

00:05:23.180 all of a sudden one day you look around and say, oh my gosh, look at the amount of leaders

00:05:25.380 that we built here.

00:05:26.280 Business has grown.

00:05:27.040 Company has grown.

00:05:27.620 Perfection is an enemy.

00:05:28.400 Next, not upgrading your philosophy.

00:05:31.580 Sometimes you're going and you're building your business and you think you're doing good,

00:05:37.380 but your numbers actually don't look that good.

00:05:39.940 But you don't want to sit down and look at the results of your philosophy because it's

00:05:45.020 going to make you upset.

00:05:46.780 So when you sit back down, this was 2013 for me.

00:05:50.100 We had a year in our business.

00:05:52.240 I sat there in 2013.

00:05:53.940 Then I sat there in 2014.

00:05:56.620 One of the metrics, I was only looking at the metrics that was positive.

00:06:01.240 The one metric I didn't want to look at was the most important metric and that one wasn't

00:06:05.680 good.

00:06:05.880 It was flat.

00:06:06.940 I'm like, hey guys, look over here.

00:06:08.180 And one day I'm like, Pat, when are you going to start being really honest with yourself

00:06:11.380 as a leader, man?

00:06:12.020 This is not, it's not growing the way you think it is growing.

00:06:14.620 This is an important data.

00:06:15.980 Then I put that on the table.

00:06:17.340 Everybody's like, oh my gosh, we're going to talk about that?

00:06:19.240 Yes.

00:06:20.100 The following year, this data grew 150, 200%.

00:06:22.780 Why?

00:06:23.560 Because we finally inspected it.

00:06:24.840 Because when I'm putting a product from here and it's going through the assembly line, the

00:06:29.920 final product that's coming through is not a great product.

00:06:32.560 It's an average product.

00:06:33.840 It's a mediocre product.

00:06:34.820 But because I'm too afraid of upgrading my philosophy and looking at it, I stay the same

00:06:41.100 and my business never explodes.

00:06:42.760 In order to exponentially grow and have a lot of success for yourself.

00:06:45.980 You need to constantly work on upgrading your success and setting aside your ego because

00:06:50.820 results always tell the truth.

00:06:53.200 Seven, spouse and family.

00:06:55.160 You're at business.

00:06:56.060 You're doing great.

00:06:56.940 You come home.

00:06:57.720 You and your wife.

00:06:58.900 You don't talk about the business.

00:06:59.980 You're not doing good.

00:07:00.620 You guys are fighting.

00:07:01.620 Everything is in shambles.

00:07:02.940 But it's okay.

00:07:03.440 I'm still going to kill it in business.

00:07:04.840 That's not how it works.

00:07:05.560 Here's why.

00:07:05.980 If I'm at business, okay, I got three kids.

00:07:10.820 Say I'm not doing good with my wife.

00:07:12.240 And we're not in a good place.

00:07:13.880 And it's terrible.

00:07:15.320 We don't talk to each other.

00:07:16.260 I sleep in one room.

00:07:16.940 She sleeps in another room.

00:07:17.780 Marriage.

00:07:18.160 This happens.

00:07:19.120 And I come back to work the next day.

00:07:21.140 My mind is not 100% focused.

00:07:23.900 It's 78%.

00:07:24.820 So if your mind, if my mind is 78% and you're at 99%, you're not thinking about your personal

00:07:30.740 life because you've got that stuff under control, you have an edge over me because my brain

00:07:34.920 is less focused than yours.

00:07:36.740 So when your brain is more focused, you make better decisions.

00:07:39.920 You're better with people.

00:07:40.860 You're easier to deal with.

00:07:41.860 People are willing to tell you some areas that I need to improve as a company because

00:07:44.980 you're willing to take it.

00:07:46.160 At 78%, you're quick.

00:07:48.200 You're short-fused.

00:07:49.240 And people are like, oh my gosh, I just don't want to talk to them.

00:07:51.100 And so they leave you for a week, two weeks.

00:07:52.680 And then all of a sudden, this small problem becomes a bigger problem.

00:07:55.120 If this is an issue, you've got to do whatever you can.

00:07:57.520 Go read books on parenting.

00:07:58.800 Go read books on marriage.

00:07:59.840 Go read books on personal life.

00:08:01.000 Go read books on everything.

00:08:02.820 I talked to somebody the other day.

00:08:04.640 They were in their mid-50s.

00:08:05.920 Watch this here.

00:08:06.600 This is going to sound strange to you.

00:08:08.220 They're not in my company.

00:08:09.380 They're outside.

00:08:10.380 They come.

00:08:10.840 We talk.

00:08:11.880 Husband and wife are sitting there.

00:08:13.140 And they say, Pat, we simply want to talk to you because we need some counsel on growing

00:08:18.080 our business.

00:08:19.000 I said, before we talk about the business, how are you guys doing?

00:08:21.100 Oh, we don't need to talk about that.

00:08:22.740 We are strictly here for business.

00:08:24.820 And I said, I get it.

00:08:25.820 But how are you guys doing?

00:08:27.860 It's not that important.

00:08:29.360 Listen, I'm going to ask you one more time.

00:08:31.500 How are you guys doing?

00:08:33.040 Then all of a sudden, he says, why don't you go?

00:08:36.120 So no, you go.

00:08:37.060 No, no, you go.

00:08:37.940 You know what finally happened?

00:08:39.480 Let me tell you how weird this was, okay?

00:08:41.360 But I've experienced hundreds of meetings.

00:08:44.520 Honestly, thousands of meetings like this when I'm sitting with people in these kinds of

00:08:48.480 cases.

00:08:48.800 She says to me, Pat, we haven't had sex for six months.

00:08:52.400 I said, how long?

00:08:53.660 Six months.

00:08:55.240 I said, six months.

00:08:56.420 Yes.

00:08:57.620 Why not?

00:08:59.040 Well, it's just, you know, it's just we can't get along anymore.

00:09:01.720 I said, are you having a hard time with it?

00:09:04.720 No, no, no.

00:09:05.160 That's not the problem.

00:09:06.340 We're just not having sex at all.

00:09:08.500 I said, do you realize one of the most healthiest things you can do for your marriage is to

00:09:13.180 have sex?

00:09:14.320 It's like all the medicine, drinking green juice or tofu and all this nonsense, none

00:09:21.280 of that comes close to as good sexes for marriage, husband and wife having sex. 0.97

00:09:25.120 It's the best Tylenol, the best Advil, the best pain reliever, the best Prozac, the best

00:09:30.740 whatever medicine you're taking is you and your wife having sex. 0.91

00:09:33.880 And so we started talking about it.

00:09:34.940 Why not?

00:09:35.780 And so the real truth came out.

00:09:37.040 I'm not going to tell you what it was.

00:09:38.160 It's a little bit awkward, but we addressed it.

00:09:40.580 You know what happened three months later?

00:09:42.380 Every possible record in their business, they broke and they went six months without sex.

00:09:48.420 Mid fifties, late fifties, he didn't need like a Viagra shoe, just that we're not having

00:09:54.280 sex.

00:09:54.980 They did it.

00:09:55.880 They sat down, both egos, they squirted away.

00:09:59.080 Then it grew and it exploded, not by a little bit.

00:10:01.840 It went like this.

00:10:02.880 So once we addressed this, then we talked about business and everything started getting

00:10:07.540 better.

00:10:07.880 Number eight, compromising non-negotiables for short-term gain.

00:10:11.020 When I'm starting my business, initially, a big bank came up to me and they were telling

00:10:15.200 me, Pat, if you introduce this product, none of your people need to know.

00:10:20.180 On the side, we'll pay you $100,000 a month.

00:10:22.860 Okay?

00:10:23.700 I said, what do you mean?

00:10:24.700 He says, they don't need to know we're doing this for you, but on the side, we'll pay you

00:10:27.880 $100,000 a month.

00:10:28.880 And I said, look, it's just not part of my principles.

00:10:31.420 He says, but you mean to tell me you're saying $1.2 million, you're saying no to $1.2 million

00:10:35.660 of just being given to you?

00:10:37.100 No one's going to ever know.

00:10:38.340 We're giving it to you per year, $100,000 per month.

00:10:41.040 I said, listen, here's what you got to realize.

00:10:43.100 The biggest thing for me, if you do business with me, is my principles that are non-negotiables.

00:10:48.200 I did it with certain things.

00:10:49.560 I said, I'm not going to get married unless of these three things.

00:10:51.780 I've said compromise.

00:10:52.540 I'm not doing it.

00:10:53.140 I said, friendship, business, association, investment, everything has three non-negotiables.

00:10:59.120 I did a video on this a couple weeks ago.

00:11:01.320 Then the guy says, you're seriously going to say no?

00:11:03.260 The other guy said yes.

00:11:04.400 The other guy said yes.

00:11:05.180 This guy said yes.

00:11:06.260 I said, that's the difference.

00:11:07.520 They're trying to make a million dollars a year.

00:11:09.440 I'm not trying to make a million dollars a year.

00:11:10.820 This is America.

00:11:11.960 There's no limit on how much money you can make.

00:11:13.560 Anybody can make money in America.

00:11:15.220 If a million dollars is a lot to that guy, you're talking to the wrong guy, because this guy's

00:11:17.820 not driven by just a million dollars.

00:11:19.520 Oh, ha, ha, ha, look at this, Patrick.

00:11:21.140 Why do you talk such a big language?

00:11:22.360 I said, I'll let you know in 10 years.

00:11:24.700 They left.

00:11:25.460 We exploded.

00:11:26.140 The other guys are out of business because they chased the commission on the side.

00:11:28.380 Everybody found out nobody trusted them anymore.

00:11:30.100 Why?

00:11:30.940 Short-term gain.

00:11:31.880 You will be tempted many, many times.

00:11:35.000 Don't compromise your non-negotiables.

00:11:37.300 Number nine, poor health.

00:11:38.720 You don't take care of your health.

00:11:40.100 What happens?

00:11:41.080 It affects you here.

00:11:42.420 It affects stamina.

00:11:43.440 It affects everything.

00:11:44.520 Health is very, very critical.

00:11:45.740 Myself, anybody I've seen, anyone I work with, if there's ever been a certain level of losing

00:11:53.260 momentum, it's had to do with this.

00:11:55.200 And we're aging.

00:11:55.880 Certain things you don't have any control over.

00:11:57.860 But it's very critical for you to pay attention to because there is, enemy of success has to

00:12:02.180 do with health.

00:12:02.620 You can no longer just say, it's not a big deal.

00:12:05.060 It's just cheesecake.

00:12:06.100 I'm just 280 pounds.

00:12:07.240 It's not a big deal.

00:12:08.020 A lot of people become rich and they're overweight and all this.

00:12:10.660 All of those are lame excuses.

00:12:12.540 Pay attention to this.

00:12:13.300 And last but not least, speaking the same language to everybody.

00:12:18.300 I don't speak to my seven-year-old the same way I speak to my five-year-old the same way

00:12:22.560 I speak to my three-year-old.

00:12:23.840 It's all different languages.

00:12:25.200 I speak a different language to my nanny, then to my wife, then to my father, then to my employees,

00:12:30.500 then to my directors, then to my executives, then to my vice presidents, then to carriers,

00:12:35.460 then to investors, then to my board, then to enemies, then to media, then to family,

00:12:40.800 then to friends, then to strangers.

00:12:42.560 All the languages, it's not the same language.

00:12:44.740 Now, this doesn't mean that I'm a different person here than I am here and I'm acting all

00:12:49.420 the time.

00:12:49.860 No.

00:12:50.200 The language is a different language.

00:12:52.200 Maybe in this language, it's a technical language.

00:12:54.200 I'm going to take my technical language to a higher level because everybody in that room

00:12:57.320 is talking technical language.

00:12:58.400 Maybe in this community, I'm talking to a lower level.

00:13:01.540 I'm going to speak at this language.

00:13:03.280 Maybe in this over here is more relationship.

00:13:05.640 You're talking, you know, with things that matter to them.

00:13:07.600 It's not necessarily you're talking to a community that wants to know about numbers.

00:13:10.360 I'm talking relation.

00:13:11.240 Today, I just did a big conversation with somebody.

00:13:13.780 It's going to be a massive, massive deal.

00:13:15.500 I'm not talking a $5 million deal.

00:13:17.140 It's a massive deal.

00:13:17.940 I'm talking to these guys.

00:13:19.920 And the conversation went from husband to wife to all of a sudden, we went a complete

00:13:27.140 different direction.

00:13:28.660 You know, and the conversation was, you know, they're based out of West Coast, big business

00:13:32.900 people, complete different direction.

00:13:34.860 We went on the conversation.

00:13:36.220 What happened all of a sudden?

00:13:37.700 We talked personal life.

00:13:39.760 Not, here's how much business we do.

00:13:41.300 This is what we scale.

00:13:42.020 This is what we do.

00:13:42.940 If you speak the same language to every audience, you're going to lose people.

00:13:46.440 So it's an enemy.

00:13:47.560 When you feel like you can talk to your employees, your sales, your executive, your investors,

00:13:51.040 all the same.

00:13:51.920 You have to take a moment back and say, who's my audience?

00:13:54.800 Boom.

00:13:55.340 Let me pivot and adjust.

00:13:56.580 This is the language I speak to them.

00:13:58.040 Okay?

00:13:58.580 And you don't tell your three-year-old to learn calculus formulas or pre-calculus.

00:14:01.780 You understand what I'm saying?

00:14:02.620 That's the adjustment.

00:14:03.380 It's basic, but sometimes we all forget about it.

00:14:05.520 What is the language I need to speak in this meeting?

00:14:07.860 Da-da-da-da-da-da.

00:14:08.500 What do they want?

00:14:09.260 Perfect.

00:14:09.700 Here's what we're doing.

00:14:10.280 Okay?

00:14:10.840 So those are 10 enemies.

00:14:11.820 Now, obviously, there's a lot more enemies.

00:14:13.060 These are 10 of the enemies that's going to be an enemy of success for you as an entrepreneur.

00:14:17.080 Thanks, everybody, for listening.

00:14:18.400 And by the way, if you haven't already subscribed to Valuetainment on iTunes, please do so.

00:14:23.020 Give us a five-star.

00:14:24.420 Write a review if you haven't already.

00:14:25.900 And if you have any questions for me that you may have, you can always find me on Snapchat,

00:14:29.980 Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube.

00:14:31.940 Just search my name, Patrick MidDavid.

00:14:33.840 And I actually do respond back when you snap me or send me a message on Instagram.

00:14:38.840 With that being said, have a great day today.

00:14:40.480 Take care, everybody.

00:14:41.300 Bye-bye.

00:14:42.020 Bye-bye.

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00:14:50.520 Bye-bye.

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00:15:06.280 Bye-bye.

Valuetainment - October 14, 2019

Episode 379： 10 Enemies Of Success

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