Valuetainment - December 09, 2019


Episode 399： Does It Still Hurt When You Lose


Episode Stats

Length

7 minutes

Words per Minute

205.48842

Word Count

1,570

Sentence Count

178


Summary

I have never met a person who doesn t like losing. In fact, my office is filled with people who love winning. But if losing becomes a habit, you start losing in every area of your life because you're okay losing.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 I have never met a person who doesn't like winning, everybody I know loves winning, everybody
00:00:21.600 loves winning.
00:00:22.600 Matter of fact, my office is filled with faces who love winning.
00:00:25.800 You know, you got Tyson here, you got Tiger here, you got Brady here, you got Jordan here,
00:00:30.340 you got George Washington's autographs, you got a bunch of people here that are winners.
00:00:34.420 These are guys who won.
00:00:35.580 These are guys who won at the highest level.
00:00:37.620 But the one thing I can tell you about winning is that most people, I was talking to a guy
00:00:43.360 the other day, and this is kind of going to get me into the next one I want to talk to
00:00:46.260 you about, is the guy's coming up to me and saying, you know, I beat everybody and I'm
00:00:50.520 doing this and I'm doing, I'm so great at what I do.
00:00:53.560 And then I said, against who though?
00:00:55.620 He says, what do you mean?
00:00:56.620 I said, who are you beating?
00:00:57.620 And he told me he was beating.
00:00:59.620 I said, you know what you're doing?
00:01:00.620 He says, what's that?
00:01:01.620 I said, you're only competing against people that are below you.
00:01:06.020 You're not competing against people that are above you, because who's really a threat?
00:01:10.160 Tell me who you've beaten.
00:01:11.160 And he says, well, how about this person?
00:01:13.160 I said, no, you're not beating anybody.
00:01:14.480 I said, that's kind of like a senior in high school bullying a seventh grader.
00:01:18.380 I said, what do you think about a senior in high school beating up a seventh grader?
00:01:22.420 What do you call that?
00:01:23.420 A bully, right?
00:01:24.420 Does anybody respect the person?
00:01:25.420 No.
00:01:26.420 You're not beating anybody that's worthy of competition.
00:01:29.420 You're taking the easy way out.
00:01:31.420 This is one of the reasons why Muhammad Ali was so respected in the game of sports and
00:01:35.420 boxing, because he fought everybody at their peak, at their best.
00:01:41.420 Foreman, Norton, Frazier, at their best.
00:01:45.420 And it's one of the biggest criticisms sometimes Mayweather would get, because he didn't fight
00:01:49.420 Pacquiao at his best.
00:01:50.420 It was a little bit later on who he fought.
00:01:52.420 So what's the moral of the story?
00:01:53.420 Look, most of us hate losing, just as much as we love winning, right?
00:01:58.420 But the moment losing becomes okay, and you tolerate losing, losing becomes accepted.
00:02:03.420 If it doesn't hurt anymore, you'll accept it.
00:02:07.420 And I'm talking in anything.
00:02:09.420 If you're okay losing, to you it becomes normal.
00:02:12.420 Oh, it's okay.
00:02:13.420 It's not a big deal.
00:02:14.420 It's okay.
00:02:15.420 It's okay.
00:02:16.420 It's okay.
00:02:17.420 And I know this sounds strange, because I don't know if you've ever seen the movie Prefontaine.
00:02:21.420 It's the story of Prefontaine.
00:02:22.420 There's a scene in the movie with Jared Leto playing it.
00:02:25.420 And he's running.
00:02:26.420 And in this one scene, this kid is about to beat him.
00:02:30.420 And he's like, wait a minute.
00:02:31.420 You can't really beat me in life.
00:02:33.420 But I'm going to let you beat me.
00:02:34.420 But you can't really beat me in life.
00:02:36.420 So to him, it was almost like, no, no, no.
00:02:39.420 If I let this kid beat, it's a psychological way of me giving it out.
00:02:43.420 I know historically when you read and study animals and parents, a lot of times fathers,
00:02:48.420 or you'll hear certain animals when their kids are hitting them, you know, they'll act
00:02:55.420 like it's hurting to make their son or their daughter feel like they're stronger.
00:02:59.420 And sometimes parents say, oh, that hurts.
00:03:01.420 Oh, because the kid is like so much.
00:03:03.420 I understand the development process of building your kids.
00:03:05.420 I get that.
00:03:06.420 But if you compete in the marketplace and losing no longer hurts, it becomes a habit.
00:03:14.420 And once it becomes a habit, you don't just lose in one area.
00:03:17.420 You start losing in every area of your life because you're okay losing.
00:03:21.420 Now, I'm not talking here about, you know, well, do you mean like every negotiation I should
00:03:27.420 lose or every negotiation I should win and no matter what it is?
00:03:30.420 I'm not talking about collaboration is at the highest level.
00:03:33.420 I'm not talking about you being okay too.
00:03:35.420 What I'm talking about is you're growing your business, okay?
00:03:38.420 And you're going up against somebody.
00:03:40.420 And all of a sudden, you lose one time.
00:03:42.420 You lose second time.
00:03:43.420 You lose third time.
00:03:44.420 And you're okay with it?
00:03:46.420 That mentality stays here.
00:03:48.420 And it sticks.
00:03:49.420 It's a spirit.
00:03:50.420 And the reason, like the only time, I remember one time I lost.
00:03:53.420 I'll never forget this.
00:03:54.420 I lost in a very ugly way.
00:03:55.420 And I got up on stage.
00:03:57.420 And I got up on stage.
00:03:58.420 This was 2006, 2007.
00:04:00.420 I got up on stage.
00:04:01.420 And they made me give the trophy to the other guy.
00:04:03.420 I remember till today.
00:04:04.420 I gave the trophy to the guy.
00:04:05.420 And they said, the loser has to give the other person a message.
00:04:08.420 And I got up and I gave the trophy.
00:04:10.420 Very honorable.
00:04:11.420 Very easy going.
00:04:12.420 I gave it to him.
00:04:13.420 I congratulated the guy.
00:04:14.420 And I whispered something in his ear.
00:04:15.420 I said, I just want you to know something here.
00:04:17.420 He says, what's that?
00:04:18.420 I said, you will never beat me for the rest of your life.
00:04:21.420 Never.
00:04:22.420 It's just not going to happen.
00:04:24.420 He says, really?
00:04:25.420 I said, you will never beat me for the rest of your life.
00:04:27.420 I said, you're going to have to kill me to beat me.
00:04:29.420 It's just not going to happen.
00:04:30.420 Because I don't like losing.
00:04:32.420 And I lost that year because I didn't work as hard that year.
00:04:36.420 I thought I'd already like made it.
00:04:38.420 I said, oh, I'm good.
00:04:39.420 All this other stuff.
00:04:40.420 I never forgot.
00:04:41.420 I was 26, 27 years old.
00:04:42.420 Making somewhat decent money.
00:04:43.420 26, 27, 28 years old.
00:04:46.420 And I got a little bit cocky.
00:04:48.420 And I got caught.
00:04:49.420 And it was great that it happened to me.
00:04:52.420 Phenomenal that it happened to me.
00:04:54.420 But I questioned myself.
00:04:55.420 I said, how does it feel right now, Pat?
00:04:56.420 You okay with it?
00:04:57.420 Yeah?
00:04:58.420 Because you know most people right after they lose.
00:04:59.420 Oh, they go to have a few drinks to kind of get over it.
00:05:02.420 I internalized the pain.
00:05:04.420 I went to my room.
00:05:05.420 Looked at myself in the mirror saying, so PBD, tell me you okay with this?
00:05:09.420 You okay losing in front of 600 people?
00:05:11.420 You just lost right now.
00:05:13.420 And that's an ugly loss.
00:05:14.420 What are you going to do about it?
00:05:16.420 Huh?
00:05:17.420 What are you going to do about it?
00:05:18.420 You're going to be okay with it?
00:05:20.420 I came back.
00:05:21.420 I started reading 10, 15 books a month.
00:05:23.420 I started showing up to work 6, 7 o'clock in the morning.
00:05:25.420 Staying up till 10, 11 o'clock.
00:05:27.420 11 o'clock.
00:05:28.420 And I working 100 hours a week.
00:05:29.420 And I said, this will never happen again.
00:05:31.420 Because I don't like to lose.
00:05:32.420 Do I lose?
00:05:33.420 All the time.
00:05:34.420 I lost today.
00:05:35.420 I lost last week.
00:05:36.420 I lost last month.
00:05:37.420 All the time.
00:05:38.420 But the only times I am okay, it hurts a little bit less, is when I'm David and I go up against
00:05:45.420 Goliath.
00:05:46.420 In every measurable category, odds are against me to win.
00:05:50.420 I'm not supposed to win because I'm facing a Goliath.
00:05:54.420 Not supposed to win when I face a Goliath.
00:05:57.420 And I get close to beating this guy.
00:06:00.420 And I tell myself, ooh, let me tell you what's around the corner.
00:06:05.420 I can beat these guys here soon.
00:06:07.420 Man, it hurts.
00:06:08.420 Because it was so close.
00:06:09.420 But wait to see what's going to happen next month.
00:06:11.420 Or next year.
00:06:12.420 Or next quarter.
00:06:13.420 Or three years from now.
00:06:14.420 But I'm coming.
00:06:15.420 I'm coming.
00:06:16.420 And I know this sounds crazy to some people.
00:06:20.420 But it doesn't sound crazy to Roger Federer.
00:06:23.420 Or Nadal.
00:06:24.420 Or Tiger.
00:06:25.420 Or Brady.
00:06:26.420 Or Jordan.
00:06:27.420 Or Kobe.
00:06:28.420 Or Magic.
00:06:29.420 Or Rock.
00:06:30.420 It doesn't sound weird to these guys.
00:06:33.420 Because it's the wiring.
00:06:34.420 And you've got to think about that.
00:06:36.420 It's a very simple question for you.
00:06:38.420 Very simple question for you.
00:06:39.420 How do you respond when you lose?
00:06:42.420 Are you okay with it?
00:06:43.420 And after you lose, do you just forget about it?
00:06:45.420 And move on?
00:06:46.420 Or do you come out as a whole different person.
00:06:48.420 Changing, improving.
00:06:49.420 Saying, wait until you see what I'm going to do next.
00:06:51.420 No one knows that.
00:06:52.420 Only you know that.
00:06:54.420 Because there's only one person that can answer that question.
00:06:56.420 And it's you.
00:06:57.420 And by the way.
00:06:58.420 If you watch this video.
00:06:59.420 I've got another video I want you to watch.
00:07:00.420 It's how to think big as an entrepreneur.
00:07:02.420 If you've never watched it.
00:07:03.420 Click over here.
00:07:04.420 And go watch the video.
00:07:05.420 How to think big as an entrepreneur.
00:07:06.420 Because it has a lot to do with today's message.
00:07:09.420 Have a killer week everybody.
00:07:10.420 Thanks everybody for listening.
00:07:11.420 And by the way.
00:07:12.420 If you haven't already subscribed to Valuetainment on iTunes.
00:07:14.420 Please do so.
00:07:15.420 Give us a five star.
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00:07:19.420 And if you have any questions for me that you may have.
00:07:21.420 You can always find me on Snapchat.
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00:07:25.420 Or YouTube.
00:07:26.420 Just search my name.
00:07:27.420 And I actually do respond back when you snap me.
00:07:30.420 Or send me a message on Instagram.
00:07:32.420 With that being said.
00:07:33.420 Have a great day today.
00:07:34.420 Take care everybody.
00:07:35.420 Bye bye.
00:07:36.420 Bye bye.
00:07:37.420 Bye.