Valuetainment - February 03, 2020


Episode 423： My Dads Approach To Setbacks


Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

228.75122

Word count

1,866

Sentence count

171

Harmful content

Misogyny

4

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I tell the story of how my son almost died after a fall in ski lessons and how I handled the situation. I also tell a story about how my daughter almost died in front of her family after a public fall in the pool.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
00:00:00.420 30 seconds.
00:00:01.900 Did you ever think you would make it?
00:00:04.220 I feel I'm so close I could take sweet victory.
00:00:07.640 I know this life meant for me.
00:00:10.760 Yeah, why would you bet on Goliath when we got Bet David?
00:00:14.380 Value taming, giving, values contagious.
00:00:16.440 This world of entrepreneurs, we get no value to haters.
00:00:19.160 How they run, homie, look what I become.
00:00:21.420 I'm the one.
00:00:22.480 You ever wonder why we hate setbacks?
00:00:24.400 Why you and I, why we as human beings cannot stand being publicly humiliated or losing in front of our peers, family members.
00:00:33.160 And even worse than that, worse than that.
00:00:35.460 You ever notice what it does to us right afterwards?
00:00:37.340 We kind of go back and we kind of settle down and we kind of don't want to try it again because we're not good at it.
00:00:42.480 And in reality, anything we do for the first time, we're not good at.
00:00:45.520 So we don't want to do it a second or third or a fourth or fifth or a hundredth time.
00:00:49.140 Look what happened this weekend was a lesson that happened to me years ago with my dad.
00:00:53.780 But I want to share with you what happened this weekend, my son.
00:00:56.200 So we're up there.
00:00:57.120 We take him to ski lessons, my seven-year-old, my six-year-old.
00:00:59.720 And my six-year-old's going up.
00:01:01.040 He's taking ski lessons.
00:01:02.020 He does a great job.
00:01:03.340 The next day, we take him on the mountains and they're going down.
00:01:05.960 And at this crazy place, they're going down the sled and they're jumping.
00:01:09.780 And there's these jumps and all this other stuff.
00:01:11.400 So one of the ones, he says, push me.
00:01:13.620 So my brother-in-law pushes my son and he's just flying.
00:01:17.320 Let's go fast.
00:01:18.120 All of a sudden, he hits the jump and then it flips and he can't control it.
00:01:22.020 Bam! 0.98
00:01:22.460 Hits his head on the ground.
00:01:23.360 Okay?
00:01:25.000 And my son, when he has a painful experience, he jumps up and down.
00:01:31.240 And he's just screaming.
00:01:32.560 He's not the one that wants you to hug him.
00:01:34.200 He jumps up and down because he's so angry with the pain, right?
00:01:38.280 So we look up.
00:01:39.300 There's blood on the ground.
00:01:41.500 He's bleeding.
00:01:42.080 His lip is swollen.
00:01:43.040 He's bleeding hardcore.
00:01:44.020 So I take him to the car.
00:01:45.140 I say, come on, let's go to the car.
00:01:46.240 We go to the car.
00:01:47.200 My brother-in-law goes and grabs paper towel.
00:01:49.920 He comes.
00:01:50.320 I take my beanie out and I'm putting it on his lip.
00:01:53.860 And he's in tears.
00:01:54.700 And I say, hey.
00:01:55.660 By the way, look at my daughter right there. 1.00
00:01:57.180 Look at my baby little girl wants to come out with her daddy. 0.98
00:01:59.900 Come on, Senna.
00:02:00.460 Come out of here.
00:02:01.000 Come out of here.
00:02:01.600 Tell him this story.
00:02:02.380 Let's close the door while I'm telling this story.
00:02:04.000 But come out and join me.
00:02:05.820 Okay.
00:02:07.000 Can I say hello to everybody?
00:02:09.560 Hello.
00:02:10.220 Hello.
00:02:10.960 Okay.
00:02:11.880 So he's bleeding.
00:02:13.460 Come here, baby.
00:02:14.360 He's bleeding.
00:02:16.020 And we're sitting in the car.
00:02:17.940 And then all of a sudden it's done.
00:02:20.760 But he's still like not happy about it.
00:02:23.040 And he's shaking a little bit.
00:02:24.880 I said, okay, let's go back on the mountain.
00:02:26.600 He says, no.
00:02:27.820 I said, we're going back on the mountain.
00:02:29.240 He says, no, I'm not going back on the mountain.
00:02:31.620 Dylan, we're going back on the mountain.
00:02:33.120 Daddy, I'm not going back on the mountain.
00:02:36.140 So finally I said, Dylan, you got to get back on the mountain.
00:02:39.440 And I reminded him of a story of what happened one time when his sister fell in the pool right in front of him.
00:02:44.860 And we were all there, but he panicked.
00:02:47.200 And then he panicked himself.
00:02:49.260 And he didn't want to get in the pool.
00:02:51.420 And I had to keep him in the pool one time for an hour and a half from the moment it happens for his fear to go away.
00:02:56.720 So I reminded him of that.
00:02:57.860 I said, do you remember that?
00:02:58.560 He says, I do.
00:02:59.000 I said, how good of a swimmer are you today?
00:03:00.880 He said, I'm a very good swimmer.
00:03:01.740 I said, in this moment, you and I have to go face this publicly humiliating loss that we just had.
00:03:07.660 He said, a setback, a painful experience, and you're not hurt to the point where you can't do it.
00:03:12.600 And you trust your daddy because I would never put you in a situation that's going to be bad for you.
00:03:16.020 He says, I do, daddy.
00:03:17.260 I said, let's get back up there.
00:03:19.220 Take him up there.
00:03:20.660 He's nervous.
00:03:21.300 He's not happy about it.
00:03:22.560 We put him up again.
00:03:23.680 We push him down.
00:03:25.060 He goes through it, goes through a jump.
00:03:26.860 And then all of a sudden, forgets about it.
00:03:29.260 Next thing you know, he's out there doing it again for the entire time, and he's okay.
00:03:33.020 How did I start this video?
00:03:34.380 I said, do you ever wonder how we don't like setbacks and publicly humiliating loss?
00:03:37.660 In front of our peers and family members, and we don't like to do things for the first time.
00:03:41.860 You know, sometimes when we are raised in overly protective families, typically a mother that's overprotective, sometimes a father that's overprotective.
00:03:51.000 That habit of what happens in that moment, while our parents think they're doing the noble thing because they're loving us and they're protecting us, and immediately they're taking us away from that setback or the experience that we had that was humiliating.
00:04:06.100 They're actually teaching a long-term habit of throwing in the towel and giving up while wearing paint.
00:04:13.700 They're not doing it intentionally.
00:04:14.880 Like, parenting doesn't come with a manual.
00:04:16.740 The only reason I did this with my kids is because I remember one time when my dad, while I'm in Iran, my dad wouldn't let my mom come to the park with us.
00:04:24.120 Because every time she would come to the park with us, if I fell down or something happened to me, she would panic, and we would panic because she's a mother.
00:04:29.940 She wants to protect her kids. 0.93
00:04:32.100 So one day we're at a park, and I'm going around the track.
00:04:37.060 All these kids are on bicycles, and I'm going around the track, and I'm going around the track.
00:04:40.460 And I told my dad, I want to go the opposite way.
00:04:42.720 He says, no, you can't go the opposite way.
00:04:43.920 I said, Dad, I want to go the opposite way because it seems faster when people pass you by.
00:04:47.700 He says, you're going to get hit.
00:04:49.300 I said, Dad, I'm not going to get hit.
00:04:50.540 I'm like seven, eight years old.
00:04:52.200 He says, if you get hit, I'm not going to do nothing for you because I told you don't do this.
00:04:57.100 He says, don't worry about it, Dad.
00:04:57.940 I'm okay.
00:04:58.440 So I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going.
00:05:01.080 This one kid is coming around.
00:05:02.600 He's waving at his dad.
00:05:03.720 He doesn't see me, so he's coming straight at me.
00:05:05.940 Wham!
00:05:06.360 I hit the kid.
00:05:07.380 I fly off the bike.
00:05:08.480 I hit the ground, and the cement is the rough cement in Iran.
00:05:13.340 And I'm bleeding all over the place.
00:05:15.700 I mean, just blood all over the place.
00:05:17.340 And that kid is crying.
00:05:18.220 And his mommy and daddy come up to me.
00:05:20.020 I know, what's wrong with you, kid?
00:05:21.660 Why would you go this way?
00:05:23.600 Where are your parents?
00:05:25.040 Where is your mom and dad?
00:05:26.400 And I'm looking around, and I'm not crying.
00:05:29.220 Here's why I'm not crying.
00:05:30.380 I'm looking around, and I look at my dad, and I point at my dad.
00:05:33.280 I said, my dad's right over there.
00:05:34.760 And my dad's pointing at the water faucet, like the, what do you call it, the hose.
00:05:40.260 He says, go wash up.
00:05:42.000 And I'm looking at him to see what his reaction is.
00:05:44.140 He has zero reaction.
00:05:45.060 So I'm like, okay.
00:05:47.320 Then it must not be that big of a deal.
00:05:48.620 This is like normal.
00:05:49.260 This kind of stuff happens.
00:05:50.620 I went up.
00:05:51.520 I washed my face, washed my hands, washed my elbows.
00:05:54.020 Came back.
00:05:55.280 He says, so which way do you want to go now?
00:05:56.880 I said, I think I'm going to go the way you told me to go.
00:05:59.520 Then I wonder where I went, and I enjoy the rest of my time.
00:06:01.960 But the moral of the story is, look, the next time you're doing a sales call or an appointment
00:06:07.220 or you're doing something for the first time in the world of business, and it's scary,
00:06:11.300 and you did a massive mistake, and it's your first mistake, and it's humiliating.
00:06:15.600 It's embarrassing.
00:06:17.840 Get back on the mountain again.
00:06:20.460 Get back on the mountain again.
00:06:21.960 You have to get back on the mountain again in that moment.
00:06:24.620 Don't even let a day go by without you getting back on that mountain again.
00:06:28.220 If you have a bad call, make 50 more calls.
00:06:30.540 If you have a bad appointment, go do three more appointments.
00:06:32.860 If you have a bad presentation, go do three more immediately right afterwards to make sure
00:06:38.040 that doesn't stay with you.
00:06:39.780 We're 5, 10, 15, 20 years down the line.
00:06:41.860 You're going to look back and say, and the only reason I didn't make you to where I'm
00:06:44.100 at right now is because I'm afraid of losing, and I'm afraid of the first publicly humiliating
00:06:49.160 experience I have anytime I do something for the first time.
00:06:52.560 So before you become great, you must be good.
00:06:55.660 Before you become good, you're bad.
00:06:57.760 And before you're bad, you're terrible.
00:07:00.160 So it's okay.
00:07:00.680 You just got to go through the phases and be patient with yourself.
00:07:03.200 But face the loss.
00:07:04.720 It's normal.
00:07:05.280 We all go through it and eventually become very good at it.
00:07:08.320 I remember in 04 when the first time I came here to Lake Tahoe, I was broke.
00:07:12.840 I had nothing to my name, but I had a dream, and I sat in a cabin with a few of our friends,
00:07:19.860 and we went up the mountain, and all I thought about to myself is, we're going to take over
00:07:24.140 the world one day.
00:07:25.300 You know, people have no idea how much fire is in my belly.
00:07:28.860 At the time, I'm thinking, oh my gosh, I can't wait for all this stuff that I want to become
00:07:33.340 a reality.
00:07:34.800 04 is what, 15, 16 years ago?
00:07:36.860 I was a 25-year-old, 24-year-old kid with a dream, and they don't know if it was going
00:07:42.160 to happen or not, but I want it to become a reality, and eventually it did.
00:07:45.140 Thanks, everybody, for listening.
00:07:46.420 And by the way, if you haven't already subscribed to Valuetainment on iTunes, please do so.
00:07:51.040 Give us a five-star.
00:07:52.320 Write a review if you haven't already.
00:07:53.920 And if you have any questions for me that you may have, you can always find me on Snapchat,
00:07:57.920 Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube.
00:07:59.760 Just search my name, PatrickBitDavid, and I actually do respond back when you snap me
00:08:04.640 or send me a message on Instagram.
00:08:06.640 With that being said, have a great day today.
00:08:08.440 Take care, everybody.
00:08:09.200 Bye-bye.