Episode 423： My Dads Approach To Setbacks
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
228.75122
Summary
In this episode, I tell the story of how my son almost died after a fall in ski lessons and how I handled the situation. I also tell a story about how my daughter almost died in front of her family after a public fall in the pool.
Transcript
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I feel I'm so close I could take sweet victory.
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Yeah, why would you bet on Goliath when we got Bet David?
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This world of entrepreneurs, we get no value to haters.
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Why you and I, why we as human beings cannot stand being publicly humiliated or losing in front of our peers, family members.
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You ever notice what it does to us right afterwards?
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We kind of go back and we kind of settle down and we kind of don't want to try it again because we're not good at it.
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And in reality, anything we do for the first time, we're not good at.
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So we don't want to do it a second or third or a fourth or fifth or a hundredth time.
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Look what happened this weekend was a lesson that happened to me years ago with my dad.
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But I want to share with you what happened this weekend, my son.
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We take him to ski lessons, my seven-year-old, my six-year-old.
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The next day, we take him on the mountains and they're going down.
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And at this crazy place, they're going down the sled and they're jumping.
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And there's these jumps and all this other stuff.
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So my brother-in-law pushes my son and he's just flying.
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All of a sudden, he hits the jump and then it flips and he can't control it.
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And my son, when he has a painful experience, he jumps up and down.
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He jumps up and down because he's so angry with the pain, right?
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I take my beanie out and I'm putting it on his lip.
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Look at my baby little girl wants to come out with her daddy.
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Let's close the door while I'm telling this story.
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He says, no, I'm not going back on the mountain.
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So finally I said, Dylan, you got to get back on the mountain.
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And I reminded him of a story of what happened one time when his sister fell in the pool right in front of him.
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And I had to keep him in the pool one time for an hour and a half from the moment it happens for his fear to go away.
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I said, in this moment, you and I have to go face this publicly humiliating loss that we just had.
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He said, a setback, a painful experience, and you're not hurt to the point where you can't do it.
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And you trust your daddy because I would never put you in a situation that's going to be bad for you.
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Next thing you know, he's out there doing it again for the entire time, and he's okay.
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I said, do you ever wonder how we don't like setbacks and publicly humiliating loss?
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In front of our peers and family members, and we don't like to do things for the first time.
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You know, sometimes when we are raised in overly protective families, typically a mother that's overprotective, sometimes a father that's overprotective.
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That habit of what happens in that moment, while our parents think they're doing the noble thing because they're loving us and they're protecting us, and immediately they're taking us away from that setback or the experience that we had that was humiliating.
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They're actually teaching a long-term habit of throwing in the towel and giving up while wearing paint.
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The only reason I did this with my kids is because I remember one time when my dad, while I'm in Iran, my dad wouldn't let my mom come to the park with us.
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Because every time she would come to the park with us, if I fell down or something happened to me, she would panic, and we would panic because she's a mother.
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So one day we're at a park, and I'm going around the track.
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All these kids are on bicycles, and I'm going around the track, and I'm going around the track.
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And I told my dad, I want to go the opposite way.
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I said, Dad, I want to go the opposite way because it seems faster when people pass you by.
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He says, if you get hit, I'm not going to do nothing for you because I told you don't do this.
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So I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going.
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He doesn't see me, so he's coming straight at me.
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I hit the ground, and the cement is the rough cement in Iran.
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I'm looking around, and I look at my dad, and I point at my dad.
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And my dad's pointing at the water faucet, like the, what do you call it, the hose.
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And I'm looking at him to see what his reaction is.
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I washed my face, washed my hands, washed my elbows.
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I said, I think I'm going to go the way you told me to go.
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Then I wonder where I went, and I enjoy the rest of my time.
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But the moral of the story is, look, the next time you're doing a sales call or an appointment
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or you're doing something for the first time in the world of business, and it's scary,
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and you did a massive mistake, and it's your first mistake, and it's humiliating.
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You have to get back on the mountain again in that moment.
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Don't even let a day go by without you getting back on that mountain again.
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If you have a bad appointment, go do three more appointments.
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If you have a bad presentation, go do three more immediately right afterwards to make sure
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You're going to look back and say, and the only reason I didn't make you to where I'm
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at right now is because I'm afraid of losing, and I'm afraid of the first publicly humiliating
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experience I have anytime I do something for the first time.
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You just got to go through the phases and be patient with yourself.
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We all go through it and eventually become very good at it.
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I remember in 04 when the first time I came here to Lake Tahoe, I was broke.
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I had nothing to my name, but I had a dream, and I sat in a cabin with a few of our friends,
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and we went up the mountain, and all I thought about to myself is, we're going to take over
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You know, people have no idea how much fire is in my belly.
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At the time, I'm thinking, oh my gosh, I can't wait for all this stuff that I want to become
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I was a 25-year-old, 24-year-old kid with a dream, and they don't know if it was going
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to happen or not, but I want it to become a reality, and eventually it did.
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And by the way, if you haven't already subscribed to Valuetainment on iTunes, please do so.
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And if you have any questions for me that you may have, you can always find me on Snapchat,
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