Valuetainment - February 07, 2020


Episode 425： Neuroscientist Explains Brain & Mind Connection

Topics
born with a perception of the world nurture environment thinking building brain with mind learning style movement brain technology
Hosted by
Patrick Bet-David
Guests
Caroline Leaf
Mentioned
Bobby Henry Markram Einstein Mary Patrick MidDavid Cindy Olympia Stephen A. Smith Roger Penrose Hammerhoff Adderall Succeed John Alexander Hamilton Jordan Peterson Marion Diamond Prince William Oprah Winfrey Ben Davidson Kate Spade and 12 more
Episode 424： How To Get 10 New Customers During Christmas Episode 426： My First Sales Manager

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 39 minutes

Words per minute

212.54

Word count

21,212

Sentence count

1,003

Harmful content

Misogyny

41

sentences flagged

Toxicity

47

sentences flagged

Hate speech

29

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Caroline Leaf to talk about the mind, the brain, and how all of that stuff works. Dr. Leaf is a communication pathologist, clinical neuroscientist, and clinical psychologist who has worked for over 30 years in the field of cognitive neuropsychology. She has a background in clinical psychology and has worked in the areas of mental health, addiction, and trauma. She is a speaker, author, speaker, and keynote speaker.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 30 seconds.
00:00:01.800 Did you ever think you would make it?
00:00:04.220 I feel I'm so close I could take sweet victory.
00:00:07.620 I know this life meant for me.
00:00:10.780 Yeah, why would you bet on Goliath when we got Bet David?
00:00:14.580 Valuetainment, giving value is contagious.
00:00:16.420 This world of entrepreneurs, we get no value to haters.
00:00:19.140 How they run, homie? 1.00
00:00:20.120 Look what I become.
00:00:21.400 I'm the one.
00:00:22.520 I'm Patrick Bedev, your host of Valuetainment.
00:00:24.080 Today I'm sitting down with Dr. Caroline Leaf,
00:00:25.780 and we're going to talk about how our brain, our mind,
00:00:28.520 how all of that stuff works.
00:00:30.460 I welcome you, and doctor, thanks for coming out.
00:00:32.600 Thank you.
00:00:33.200 It's such an honor to be here.
00:00:33.960 For me, when I think about cognitive neuroscientists
00:00:37.380 or somebody's listening saying,
00:00:38.920 communication pathologist,
00:00:40.960 what does that really mean to an average person like myself?
00:00:43.500 Okay, so in simple language, I study the mind-brain connection,
00:00:47.060 which I've done for 30 years, do clinical research.
00:00:49.840 So I look at what is the mind, how does that work?
00:00:53.200 What is the brain, how does that work?
00:00:54.840 What's the relationship, and what's the impact on how we function
00:00:57.680 in terms of our behaviors, our emotions,
00:01:00.360 how we function in day-to-day life, education, work, whatever.
00:01:03.940 So it's looking at all of that.
00:01:05.700 So as a clinical, when I practice clinically,
00:01:08.300 which I did for 25 years,
00:01:10.140 I would look at a patient that would come to me with whatever,
00:01:12.840 brain trauma or physical trauma, emotional trauma,
00:01:16.120 learning issues, Alzheimer's, whatever.
00:01:18.560 I would look at the external behaviors, social, emotional, cognitive,
00:01:23.500 what they're doing,
00:01:24.280 and then track back to what's going on in the thought life.
00:01:27.120 So in other words, what's happening in the mind.
00:01:29.500 And then also look at the impact on the brain and the body
00:01:33.060 and then try to address all the levels.
00:01:35.600 That's pretty much it.
00:01:36.280 Very interesting.
00:01:36.800 So did you also deal with bipolar, ADHD,
00:01:39.920 depression, anxiety, panic attacks, schizof.
00:01:43.080 Did you deal with all of that?
00:01:43.920 I deal with all of those,
00:01:44.760 and I have a very different narrative for that.
00:01:46.760 I can't wait to get into it.
00:01:47.840 Okay.
00:01:48.180 I can't wait to get into it.
00:01:49.160 That's a good one.
00:01:49.880 That's a really good one to get into.
00:01:51.120 I have some questions for you on that
00:01:51.940 because you experience a lot of that,
00:01:55.180 and the business world is filled with a lot of those personalities.
00:01:58.520 There's a link also to success with it,
00:02:00.360 you know, where I'm curious to know how you think about that.
00:02:01.820 It's a good way to go.
00:02:02.660 So look, you have the mind, you have the brain.
00:02:04.940 What's the difference between the mind and the brain?
00:02:06.580 Okay, brilliant question.
00:02:07.720 So your mind is the most simple definition,
00:02:10.300 the unique way that you think and feel and choose.
00:02:14.100 So those three go together.
00:02:15.560 As you think, you always feel.
00:02:17.200 You're always thinking.
00:02:17.980 We're thinking beings.
00:02:18.760 You never stop thinking 24-7.
00:02:21.080 But as soon as you think, you feel.
00:02:22.720 So you're always feeling 24-7.
00:02:25.120 And as you think and feel,
00:02:26.440 it automatically leads to choices.
00:02:28.760 So you think, feel, choose.
00:02:29.860 Think, feel, choose.
00:02:30.720 Think, think, feel, choose.
00:02:31.880 You're doing this on two levels.
00:02:34.700 The one level is the conscious level
00:02:36.600 that you're in when you're awake.
00:02:39.140 And that level happens around every 10 seconds.
00:02:41.840 We are consciously and deliberately aware
00:02:44.420 of thinking, feeling, and choosing.
00:02:46.360 And the way we do that
00:02:47.220 has massive impact on mental health,
00:02:49.120 which I know we're going to unpack.
00:02:50.600 Sure.
00:02:50.980 The other level is the non-conscious level.
00:02:54.460 So not subconscious, but non-conscious.
00:02:56.260 That operates 24-7.
00:02:58.240 And at that level, we operate at 10 to the 17,
00:03:01.040 which is about 400 billion plus actions per second.
00:03:03.980 That's crazy.
00:03:04.300 It's crazy.
00:03:04.740 So we're functioning on these incredible levels
00:03:07.580 of speed, and that's all mind.
00:03:11.420 This mind is all this thinking, feeling,
00:03:13.360 choosing on these two different levels.
00:03:15.800 This power, energy, whatever you want to call it,
00:03:19.120 moves through your physical brain.
00:03:21.780 So your brain is a responder to your mind.
00:03:24.960 So there's an interaction.
00:03:26.660 They dual two things, but they interact.
00:03:29.200 You can't have one without the other.
00:03:30.860 So our mind moves through our brain,
00:03:33.240 and then our brain responds on a chemical level,
00:03:36.060 quantum level, electromagnetic level, and genetic level.
00:03:39.400 So we literally put stuff in our brain,
00:03:41.460 and then our brain responds and builds that stuff
00:03:44.420 into the cells of the brain,
00:03:46.160 and that instantly influences all the cells of the body.
00:03:48.940 So this brain and body collectively,
00:03:51.560 the two together, so the brain and the body,
00:03:53.740 are made of about 75 to 100 trillion cells.
00:03:58.160 And that brain and body, it's a big number.
00:04:01.040 And that's only 1% of who you are as a human.
00:04:03.520 So 99% of who you are as a human is this mind thing,
00:04:08.080 this unique you-ness, this type you,
00:04:11.380 this Patrick, this Caroline.
00:04:12.560 That's what separates us from everybody.
00:04:14.740 Yes.
00:04:15.320 Okay, so-
00:04:15.960 That's the defining disconnect.
00:04:18.220 Because we've all got the brain.
00:04:19.440 Right.
00:04:20.280 But the way you use your brain is going to be different.
00:04:23.460 So we've all got the same basic neurophysiology
00:04:25.520 in our brain structures, et cetera.
00:04:27.820 The way I use my brain,
00:04:29.440 it's pretty much my signature,
00:04:30.640 my thumbprint to the world.
00:04:31.800 Exactly.
00:04:32.240 That's what it is.
00:04:32.800 Exactly.
00:04:33.180 You'll see that in the brain.
00:04:34.060 The brain is literally like a thumbprint.
00:04:35.620 So in essence, I can be raised in the same household,
00:04:39.020 experience the same challenges,
00:04:40.080 same divorce, same parents.
00:04:41.340 I'm a twin.
00:04:42.620 Everything could be identical to the same experiences.
00:04:45.460 I can be looking like somebody else.
00:04:47.860 My attractiveness is the same level as somebody else.
00:04:49.960 My level of popularity in school
00:04:51.220 is the same as somebody else.
00:04:52.740 I date the same kind of a girl or a guy as somebody else.
00:04:55.540 Same culture, same belief system, same-
00:04:58.000 Same religion, same church I go to.
00:04:59.600 I'm an atheist, I'm a Christian, I'm a Scientologist.
00:05:01.760 By 20 years old,
00:05:03.280 I can still view the world in a different way than you.
00:05:06.200 You've done it from birth.
00:05:07.900 You've done it from birth.
00:05:09.060 Totally, totally different.
00:05:10.140 And this is why we see studies of identical twins
00:05:12.220 where you'll have one that's in old age.
00:05:15.680 Same thing, just as you described,
00:05:17.140 and one gets Alzheimer's
00:05:18.180 and one is still firing up and still going along.
00:05:20.820 You know, how you perceive things
00:05:23.180 makes your body work for you or against you.
00:05:25.820 And this is the clinical research that I do.
00:05:28.060 We're showing this right down to the level of your DNA.
00:05:30.300 And you see, you don't even have to do the research
00:05:33.840 to know gut instinct.
00:05:35.180 It's all gut instinct.
00:05:36.000 You're not the same as someone else. 0.99
00:05:37.580 Yeah, that's crazy to me
00:05:38.480 because what that makes me think about, Doc,
00:05:40.780 and by the way, if you don't mind me calling you Doc,
00:05:42.360 what that makes me think about, Doc,
00:05:44.460 is, you know, in America,
00:05:48.640 I was reading a study the other day.
00:05:50.040 I was talking to Jordan Peterson at an event that we had
00:05:52.040 and asking a question.
00:05:52.720 I said, let me ask you this.
00:05:53.940 Are we born Democrats and Republicans?
00:05:57.240 Like, are we born?
00:05:58.560 Because I remember I'm talking to someone's girlfriend
00:06:03.160 at that time.
00:06:04.360 I said, let me ask you a question.
00:06:05.860 And politically, we were talking about economics.
00:06:07.660 And she completely disagrees with capitalism.
00:06:10.600 I said, how good were you in math in high school?
00:06:12.720 She said, I can't stay in math.
00:06:14.240 I said, I'm curious to know how much math plays a role.
00:06:16.040 So for me, I want to know, are we born a certain way?
00:06:20.360 You know, today we were handling an issue in the company.
00:06:23.440 One person.
00:06:24.320 They can't help themselves but complain nonstop about an issue.
00:06:28.220 And somebody else about the same issue is excited about it.
00:06:31.140 Then somebody called me and says,
00:06:32.340 Pat, what can I do to better this?
00:06:33.920 I said, if for seven years this person's been like this,
00:06:36.860 you and I can't change it.
00:06:38.100 The person's got to want to change it
00:06:39.320 for that to be taking place.
00:06:40.620 So that person that's born with a different perception
00:06:43.380 of the world, can I be raised with a perception
00:06:46.340 of the world where I'm always looking at the glass half empty?
00:06:48.640 Or can that still be fixed for somebody?
00:06:51.840 That can be fixed.
00:06:52.780 So here's the thing.
00:06:53.480 Are you sure about that?
00:06:53.900 Yes, here's the good news.
00:06:55.780 The good news is that we...
00:06:57.140 Don't be mispositive here.
00:06:58.060 No, no, no.
00:06:58.580 I'm going to give you...
00:06:59.520 I'm going to give you...
00:07:00.440 No, I don't do that.
00:07:01.280 I don't even believe in that.
00:07:02.680 So that's not where I'm at.
00:07:04.180 But what I do know is from this neuroscientific research,
00:07:07.380 plus from quantum physics, plus from experience,
00:07:10.500 plus from mind research, all of it,
00:07:12.060 we see that there isn't a single structure,
00:07:15.320 for example, in the brain,
00:07:16.460 a single circuit, a single cell
00:07:18.500 in the entire human body and brain
00:07:20.660 that is designed for seeing the glass half empty.
00:07:24.480 We are designed to see the glass half full.
00:07:26.660 We literally, at a quantum level,
00:07:29.020 our body, you see us physically now,
00:07:31.540 we're looking at each other,
00:07:32.660 but at your most fundamental level,
00:07:34.660 you're literally waves of energy.
00:07:36.120 And those waves of energy,
00:07:37.860 the quantum physicists, the mathematicians,
00:07:40.600 for example, Sir Roger Penrose,
00:07:42.240 who's the top mathematician of the century,
00:07:44.660 in my opinion, and many people's opinions,
00:07:46.760 they've done the calculations,
00:07:48.180 literally showing that we are made of love
00:07:51.060 and we are immersed in gravitational fields
00:07:53.900 that have the qualities of love.
00:07:55.400 So now let me take that.
00:07:56.800 That is, as a default mode,
00:07:58.260 humanity is designed to operate in love.
00:08:00.240 And I'm not sounding all fluffy here
00:08:02.080 and over whatever.
00:08:03.340 I'm being a realist.
00:08:04.340 I'm a very real scientist
00:08:06.620 and I believe science is very spiritual.
00:08:08.520 So it's a very strong connect.
00:08:10.800 You can't separate the two.
00:08:12.160 So we see scientifically a beautiful thing
00:08:14.680 happening through mathematics,
00:08:16.120 through quantum physics.
00:08:16.880 We see a description of humanity
00:08:18.780 as being this love concept.
00:08:20.980 Now we know that if you go across every culture,
00:08:23.100 if you deal with every human,
00:08:24.140 if you talk to every human on this planet
00:08:25.460 that ever was and ever will be,
00:08:27.300 there's one common thing that we all agree on
00:08:29.060 and that is we love our families
00:08:31.080 or we want to operate in love
00:08:32.380 or we need love to function.
00:08:33.640 It's the number one addiction.
00:08:35.560 People cannot live without love.
00:08:37.220 People die from a lack of love.
00:08:38.780 You literally can shut your body down
00:08:40.540 and die from love.
00:08:41.560 Wow.
00:08:41.820 In this day and age,
00:08:43.360 we have people dying at the same rate
00:08:46.100 from the lack of love
00:08:47.240 in isolation as we do from cardiovascular disease,
00:08:50.680 which is pretty much a number one killer.
00:08:52.360 How do you measure that?
00:08:53.360 They do.
00:08:54.020 There's a lot of research statistics.
00:08:55.360 You measure lack of love?
00:08:56.200 Yes, because you see it shutting down.
00:08:58.680 That's the research that I'm in.
00:08:59.740 So you can see lack of love is a big word.
00:09:01.800 You can bring it down to how people are managing stress
00:09:04.280 on a day-to-day basis
00:09:05.220 or chronic inflammation in the body
00:09:06.700 or chronic stress ongoing.
00:09:08.300 So if you're constantly isolated,
00:09:10.260 you don't get the correct feedback
00:09:12.420 because there's a certain feedback
00:09:15.080 that you're getting from interacting with others.
00:09:17.380 It's like we are building on each other.
00:09:19.100 We are growing each other.
00:09:20.640 We are sending...
00:09:21.780 Einstein spoke about the photons that we...
00:09:24.200 Einstein caught my eye over there.
00:09:26.060 About the photons that we generate from our body.
00:09:28.680 I'm generating photons to you.
00:09:30.020 I'm generating photons that are operating in love
00:09:32.600 in terms of having a conversation.
00:09:35.240 We are agreeing to agree or disagree.
00:09:36.800 There isn't an enmity between us.
00:09:38.720 So it's growing us.
00:09:40.240 And humans are designed for that.
00:09:41.800 What are the stories that grab us the most?
00:09:43.780 I fully agree with you.
00:09:44.620 The stories that are of humanity.
00:09:46.340 So that's all basically...
00:09:47.440 And we see that.
00:09:47.960 So we see it neuroscientifically.
00:09:49.360 We see it quantum physics-wise.
00:09:50.920 We see we design for that.
00:09:52.240 So why does someone see the glass half empty?
00:09:54.500 And why do I say we can change it?
00:09:56.360 I don't believe in the happiness industry
00:09:57.780 where you can go and get something
00:09:58.800 and put it in and now suddenly you're happy.
00:10:00.520 I don't believe in positive affirmations.
00:10:02.560 They're band-aids.
00:10:03.500 You've got an issue.
00:10:04.280 You slap a positive affirmation on.
00:10:05.800 It's not going to fix anything.
00:10:07.280 What we have to look at is
00:10:08.780 why am I saying the glass is half empty?
00:10:12.080 So that is my perception.
00:10:13.660 Why?
00:10:14.100 There's a reason.
00:10:14.840 So as soon as we move out of
00:10:17.780 that massive definition of what love is
00:10:20.600 because it basically is being a decent human
00:10:22.260 and it's got a multitude of infinite ways of viewing that.
00:10:26.220 As soon as we move out of that,
00:10:28.260 there's a disconnect between humans,
00:10:30.860 between how we're functioning,
00:10:32.020 between how we fit in the world,
00:10:33.160 between our impact in the world, etc.
00:10:36.000 And as soon as we do that,
00:10:37.680 that's going to have a consequence
00:10:40.000 because your mind is moving through your brain.
00:10:42.360 Your brain builds that perception physically into your brain.
00:10:46.580 So you're thinking, feeling, choosing,
00:10:48.120 moment by moment of every day.
00:10:49.840 And if here I take a scenario
00:10:51.080 where I'm constantly seeing a negative thing,
00:10:54.780 you talked about your guy who can't see beyond this,
00:10:56.940 whatever the situation.
00:10:57.840 So if I have now, for more than 63 days,
00:11:01.940 constantly thought in a certain way,
00:11:03.800 I have built a very strong tree in my brain.
00:11:07.160 That's why I've got trees here.
00:11:08.600 A tree is a thought.
00:11:09.940 Our thoughts are real things.
00:11:11.760 They look like trees.
00:11:13.220 They occupy mental real estate.
00:11:15.320 They're made of proteins.
00:11:16.320 I agree.
00:11:16.900 They're 100%.
00:11:17.840 They are totally.
00:11:18.720 Right now you are growing
00:11:19.940 at the speed of 400 billion actions.
00:11:21.760 You're converting my words,
00:11:22.800 and so are the listeners,
00:11:23.820 into trees in their brain.
00:11:25.100 Hopefully they're building nice, healthy trees
00:11:26.660 about what we're saying.
00:11:28.340 But now if you've got a habit,
00:11:29.560 if you've done something for years,
00:11:31.560 and you've thought in a way for years,
00:11:33.620 because of an experience,
00:11:35.900 because of environment,
00:11:37.840 so there's nurture.
00:11:38.960 You're born with this,
00:11:40.060 as I've mentioned,
00:11:41.200 this wired for love design.
00:11:42.900 We're in nurture environment
00:11:44.480 and all the other stuff you described.
00:11:46.120 Now there's the I factor.
00:11:47.780 The two twins going through life,
00:11:49.240 same thing,
00:11:49.680 but how are they seeing it?
00:11:50.840 So each experience
00:11:52.060 is now adding more and more layers
00:11:54.820 to my initial core.
00:11:56.420 So here I am born,
00:11:57.520 but here I am perceiving.
00:11:59.280 I may perceive the two twins.
00:12:01.620 One perceives a relationship in this way.
00:12:03.980 One perceives a situation in this way.
00:12:05.640 Two different networks build in the brain.
00:12:08.300 And as you keep thinking in that certain way,
00:12:10.440 so you strengthen.
00:12:11.480 Whatever you think about the most
00:12:12.680 grows into a toxic thought.
00:12:14.100 I see that.
00:12:15.100 So that's the pattern.
00:12:15.880 I fully see that.
00:12:17.040 Here's a question then.
00:12:18.120 So can I be born more negative than you?
00:12:21.700 No, you can't be born more negative.
00:12:23.700 But what you can have,
00:12:24.820 which is total science,
00:12:25.960 it's epigenetics,
00:12:27.060 your DNA will come through
00:12:29.000 from your parents.
00:12:30.520 So it goes through the sperm and the ova.
00:12:32.540 But that DNA is not.
00:12:33.800 You've got two types of DNA
00:12:35.240 that come through.
00:12:35.940 So you're born with your genetic blueprint,
00:12:38.140 and that genetic blueprint
00:12:39.100 is this wired for love perfection.
00:12:40.780 On top of that,
00:12:42.520 we have...
00:12:42.860 Say that one more time.
00:12:43.420 So you've got a gene code
00:12:45.640 that is basically perfect.
00:12:47.380 Okay.
00:12:47.900 On top of that...
00:12:49.040 You believe that we're born perfectly.
00:12:50.400 Oh, yes, I do,
00:12:51.340 because I can show you scientifically.
00:12:52.640 So let me explain how this works.
00:12:54.140 So you've got a basic core.
00:12:55.780 Then on top of that,
00:12:56.820 you've got the DNA from...
00:12:58.240 That's come through generations,
00:12:59.260 and that's the imperfect stuff.
00:13:00.640 So humans make choices.
00:13:03.060 When you make choices,
00:13:03.860 it becomes part of our DNA.
00:13:05.660 That DNA is there constantly.
00:13:08.020 It's you putting it out in the world
00:13:09.580 and what you say
00:13:10.160 it's passing through the sperm
00:13:11.140 and the ova.
00:13:11.860 So when you were born,
00:13:12.740 you were born with you,
00:13:14.080 plus things from your parents,
00:13:16.320 generations back, whatever.
00:13:17.680 So you've got a bunch of imperfection
00:13:19.320 on top of perfection.
00:13:20.560 But I'm born with imperfection as well.
00:13:22.780 Yes, so it's...
00:13:23.360 Okay, so that makes sense.
00:13:26.440 Okay, sorry.
00:13:26.900 I maybe said it wrong.
00:13:27.880 You born your core...
00:13:28.180 Okay, you said we're born perfect.
00:13:29.780 Okay, we're born...
00:13:30.800 We're not born blank slate.
00:13:31.980 We're not born perfect.
00:13:32.720 Let me rephrase it.
00:13:33.460 We are born with a core that's perfect
00:13:35.160 with a bunch of other stuff on top.
00:13:38.000 And what we see,
00:13:38.660 we can even track disease back.
00:13:39.920 Disease is lifestyle related.
00:13:41.520 Lifestyle is choices,
00:13:42.720 thinking how we respond to the world
00:13:44.160 as we mutate genes
00:13:45.380 so we get the propensity to disease.
00:13:47.540 But only 5% is going to come
00:13:50.620 from that gene propensity.
00:13:51.880 So you've got the stuff inside of you
00:13:53.660 on top of your original core design.
00:13:56.380 And that is now activated to nurturing.
00:13:58.540 So let's say now your parents were depressed
00:13:59.940 and you've got a history
00:14:01.040 of people being very depressed in your family
00:14:02.960 or very negative,
00:14:03.860 just negative, depressed.
00:14:06.060 Like people that just...
00:14:07.020 Or you see the glass half empty.
00:14:09.080 So now you're born with that,
00:14:11.040 those mutated genes
00:14:12.320 on top of your genes.
00:14:13.500 Here's the great news.
00:14:14.380 They're born...
00:14:15.100 You're born with them asleep.
00:14:16.540 They're dormant.
00:14:17.080 It's called dormancy.
00:14:18.440 So the genes are dormant,
00:14:19.660 which means that your...
00:14:21.380 The positive genes are dormant.
00:14:22.460 No, your genes are active.
00:14:24.100 In other words, you couldn't live.
00:14:25.500 Your genes have to be active.
00:14:26.700 But you've got...
00:14:27.060 So what's dormant?
00:14:27.660 What's dormant is what's passed
00:14:28.920 through the generations.
00:14:30.100 So it's the stuff that came
00:14:31.060 through the sperm and the ovates.
00:14:32.100 The imperfect genes
00:14:33.080 on top of the genes.
00:14:34.300 So it's mixed in amongst your genome
00:14:35.840 is your genome,
00:14:37.220 which is active.
00:14:38.060 Otherwise, you couldn't be alive.
00:14:39.400 And then you've got interwoven
00:14:40.600 on top of that.
00:14:41.400 You have your...
00:14:42.680 Your stuff that's come
00:14:44.100 through the generations.
00:14:45.420 Coming through dormant,
00:14:46.440 which means it's sealed,
00:14:47.580 it's closed,
00:14:48.300 it's not active.
00:14:49.580 How do you wake it up?
00:14:50.780 With your perception,
00:14:52.120 your response,
00:14:52.780 your mind,
00:14:53.360 how you think,
00:14:53.940 feel and choose.
00:14:54.740 So now a child's growing up
00:14:55.920 in a...
00:14:56.560 All this child hears this negativity.
00:14:58.500 All this child sees
00:14:59.640 is arguing, fighting, etc.
00:15:00.940 That is now
00:15:02.100 environmental influence
00:15:04.000 coming in.
00:15:04.580 The child's still learning,
00:15:05.560 so the child can't maybe
00:15:06.480 make such good decisions.
00:15:07.800 So the child's immersed
00:15:08.680 in negativity.
00:15:09.420 So now the environment's negative.
00:15:10.920 That then wakes up
00:15:12.620 the dormant genes
00:15:13.600 and that could start manifesting.
00:15:15.420 And then you start seeing
00:15:16.120 patterns of behavior
00:15:16.960 in the child
00:15:17.660 becoming negative.
00:15:19.040 But now we have
00:15:19.580 two twins in the family
00:15:20.580 and both are exposed
00:15:22.080 to this negativity.
00:15:23.480 One is definitely
00:15:24.520 more negative than the other.
00:15:25.760 I'm just giving you
00:15:26.320 a scenario.
00:15:26.760 Okay, good.
00:15:27.260 But that's where
00:15:27.880 I'm going with that.
00:15:28.380 So one can be more negative
00:15:29.840 than the other.
00:15:30.260 Yes, but that's
00:15:31.500 coming from perception.
00:15:32.340 It's not coming from...
00:15:33.980 They've got the same...
00:15:35.560 They've each got
00:15:36.220 their own active...
00:15:37.700 It's coming from perception,
00:15:38.800 which is mind,
00:15:39.740 which is how you think,
00:15:40.600 feeling, choose.
00:15:41.080 Which is them, though.
00:15:41.880 Exactly.
00:15:42.400 It's the eye factor.
00:15:43.140 That's the individual.
00:15:44.160 So one could have
00:15:45.500 a more negative perception
00:15:46.840 of the world
00:15:47.340 than the other.
00:15:47.900 But it's not genetically
00:15:48.700 pre-wired.
00:15:49.820 It is activated.
00:15:50.960 I'm not saying genetically...
00:15:51.500 It's activated.
00:15:52.780 Through thinking,
00:15:53.640 feeling, choosing.
00:15:54.340 So the genes
00:15:55.200 are not self-emergent.
00:15:56.120 Let me explain it like this. 0.79
00:15:57.400 If I pull your brain 1.00
00:15:58.540 out your head, 1.00
00:15:59.100 if I did some brain surgery 1.00
00:16:00.280 on you right now, 0.89
00:16:00.940 which I won't, 0.98
00:16:01.720 and I hold your brain
00:16:02.540 in my hand,
00:16:03.780 it's not going to do anything.
00:16:05.360 I can look at it
00:16:05.980 all day long. 1.00
00:16:07.260 You're dead. 0.80
00:16:07.860 Nothing in your body 0.98
00:16:08.560 will function.
00:16:09.220 No genome,
00:16:10.000 no genetic activation.
00:16:11.620 Nothing will happen.
00:16:12.480 No genes will switch on.
00:16:13.780 But the fact that
00:16:14.520 you are alive,
00:16:15.180 and I haven't done that,
00:16:16.520 the only reason
00:16:17.360 your brain and genes
00:16:18.480 are doing anything
00:16:19.260 is because of your
00:16:20.100 thinking, feeling,
00:16:20.840 and choosing.
00:16:21.520 It's firing them up.
00:16:22.620 It is the switch on.
00:16:24.140 Your thinking,
00:16:24.820 feeling, and choosing
00:16:25.460 switches your genes on
00:16:27.080 and switches them off.
00:16:27.880 What does that have to be my question?
00:16:29.340 So, okay.
00:16:30.340 My question being
00:16:31.100 the fact that
00:16:31.860 I'm trying,
00:16:33.220 the perception.
00:16:34.200 I'm born with,
00:16:35.360 I asked the question earlier,
00:16:37.340 which,
00:16:37.840 how much of it is my DNA,
00:16:38.840 my environment,
00:16:39.480 my this,
00:16:39.800 and let's just say
00:16:40.200 everything is the same,
00:16:40.900 and you and I are born,
00:16:41.520 same girlfriend,
00:16:42.060 same boyfriend,
00:16:42.620 same this,
00:16:43.100 same high Christian,
00:16:43.840 all this stuff.
00:16:44.160 And then why is this one,
00:16:45.100 why is this one negative?
00:16:45.700 This is perception, right?
00:16:46.600 So we've got our two kids
00:16:47.600 in the family,
00:16:48.100 and one's negative,
00:16:48.660 and one is.
00:16:49.260 So,
00:16:49.660 but I,
00:16:50.840 like I have three kids,
00:16:51.940 right?
00:16:52.360 Okay.
00:16:52.980 And I see a lot of people
00:16:54.380 that came from a great family,
00:16:55.420 like okay,
00:16:56.080 that guy became successful,
00:16:57.160 that guy's in prison,
00:16:58.000 this guy's in the military,
00:16:59.040 that guy,
00:16:59.480 everything's bad in his life
00:17:00.680 since he was a kid.
00:17:01.900 This person's parents
00:17:03.980 lived a decent life.
00:17:05.380 How much of that is them?
00:17:08.240 Like you know how you talk
00:17:08.740 about teacher
00:17:09.160 versus the individual?
00:17:10.160 How much of it is the teacher,
00:17:11.300 the example,
00:17:11.880 how much of it is the individual,
00:17:12.920 how much of it is the environment?
00:17:14.500 So I'm just trying to-
00:17:15.300 Well, teacher,
00:17:15.600 environment is all one category,
00:17:17.100 so that's nurture.
00:17:18.100 So under nurture,
00:17:18.980 we would have all of those things
00:17:20.040 you described.
00:17:20.680 So you're born with your physical
00:17:21.600 and then you've got nurture.
00:17:22.780 Then you've got the I factor.
00:17:24.180 So the I factor is the dominant one,
00:17:25.840 it's the 99%, 0.97
00:17:26.720 it's the thing that overrides.
00:17:27.920 So your two kids in the family
00:17:29.040 with the same thing,
00:17:30.080 you've got the one
00:17:30.900 who will now literally activate
00:17:33.720 by thinking negative.
00:17:34.780 Oh, I'm seeing this negative,
00:17:36.040 I choose to think negative.
00:17:38.080 And they start activating
00:17:39.460 the negative gene,
00:17:40.340 so now I've got the propensity
00:17:41.560 activated,
00:17:42.500 and I'm continuing
00:17:43.560 in that way of thinking.
00:17:44.980 It's a choice that I make
00:17:45.940 because at any stage
00:17:47.160 I can recognize,
00:17:48.440 you can train a person
00:17:49.300 very easily
00:17:50.240 to stand back,
00:17:51.800 observe their own thinking
00:17:52.620 because it's neuroscience,
00:17:53.620 it's how we are designed,
00:17:55.000 it's quantum physics,
00:17:55.960 it's all of that.
00:17:56.800 You can stand back
00:17:57.860 and observe your own thinking
00:17:58.900 and you can show someone,
00:18:00.000 can you see that you're being negative?
00:18:01.820 Can you see that that is,
00:18:04.100 and you can keep-
00:18:04.700 What is the answer?
00:18:05.200 So by showing people,
00:18:06.400 there's always a way
00:18:07.420 for someone to see it,
00:18:08.280 but not everyone will choose
00:18:09.220 to do that.
00:18:10.320 And one of the greatest ways
00:18:11.760 of people seeing that
00:18:12.480 is the impact on other people.
00:18:13.740 So because we're so relational,
00:18:15.720 we're so designed
00:18:16.800 for deep, meaningful community,
00:18:18.240 so that person
00:18:19.380 who constantly sees negative
00:18:20.380 in your meeting,
00:18:20.960 he's irritating.
00:18:21.840 Eventually that's going
00:18:22.560 to get to a point
00:18:23.160 where you're all kind of,
00:18:24.240 ugh, you know,
00:18:25.120 like, oh,
00:18:25.740 I'm just giving that example.
00:18:26.580 Is there any saving
00:18:27.620 that person?
00:18:29.420 That person has to
00:18:30.120 save themselves,
00:18:30.740 but it takes community,
00:18:32.060 it takes community
00:18:33.260 to make them aware,
00:18:34.340 but they can still be aware
00:18:35.280 and choose to say the same.
00:18:36.440 But sometimes they don't want to,
00:18:38.180 let's just say
00:18:38.640 they have a great community,
00:18:39.680 like you know how
00:18:40.020 you go to church?
00:18:40.620 Yeah, yeah,
00:18:40.960 you've got the whole thing
00:18:41.700 and they still need it.
00:18:42.980 Yeah, you know how,
00:18:44.100 like, I remember one time
00:18:45.080 a buddy of mine
00:18:45.900 called me and he says,
00:18:46.580 Pat, my marriage
00:18:47.120 didn't work out.
00:18:48.060 I said, okay.
00:18:48.600 He says, how do you do it?
00:18:49.600 I said, how do I do what?
00:18:50.720 How do you make
00:18:51.520 a marriage work out?
00:18:52.240 I said, buddy,
00:18:52.600 I take one year at a time.
00:18:53.620 I have no idea
00:18:54.080 if it's going to work out
00:18:54.720 next year.
00:18:55.160 Marriage is not an easy thing.
00:18:56.220 It's a lot of work.
00:18:56.920 He says, okay,
00:18:57.320 but what's your,
00:18:58.700 what's effective for you?
00:19:01.140 I said, you know,
00:19:02.280 10 years ago,
00:19:03.380 I asked people,
00:19:04.140 I said, what's the benefit
00:19:04.760 of a church?
00:19:05.080 I was an atheist
00:19:05.820 for 25 years.
00:19:06.720 I'm very much against
00:19:08.240 the whole thing,
00:19:09.940 church thing,
00:19:10.480 at first going up.
00:19:12.040 And one guy says,
00:19:12.680 look, here's what
00:19:13.140 you've got to realize.
00:19:13.960 There's a benefit
00:19:14.600 of being around
00:19:15.160 a community of people
00:19:16.200 that are making
00:19:16.800 their marriages work
00:19:17.660 because a community
00:19:18.520 helps you want to
00:19:20.560 keep your marriage.
00:19:21.320 It's kind of like,
00:19:22.020 you know, Mac,
00:19:22.740 man, you know she loves you,
00:19:24.080 man.
00:19:24.180 You guys got to figure this out.
00:19:25.280 I know you kind of,
00:19:26.640 you're like Big Macs,
00:19:27.480 but she doesn't like it,
00:19:28.280 but you got to figure out
00:19:29.000 a way to make
00:19:29.360 this relationship work
00:19:30.280 and hey,
00:19:30.880 I just don't know
00:19:31.600 if I can be with her.
00:19:32.340 I said, buddy,
00:19:32.620 what are you talking about?
00:19:33.920 And he's like,
00:19:34.320 I can't deal with him.
00:19:35.040 He's so stubborn.
00:19:36.000 You got to do this, doc.
00:19:37.100 You know,
00:19:37.280 you guys have been together
00:19:37.960 for 22 years.
00:19:38.960 Okay, we'll make it work, right?
00:19:40.280 So that's community.
00:19:41.100 But what if he's like,
00:19:41.940 nope, I don't want
00:19:42.880 to do anything.
00:19:43.520 Stubborn, doesn't want to take it.
00:19:44.500 That's a choice they've made.
00:19:45.860 That's a choice they've made.
00:19:46.860 And that's the I factor.
00:19:47.960 See, the choice comes in.
00:19:49.040 Remember I said
00:19:49.720 mind is think, feel, choose?
00:19:51.140 Yeah.
00:19:51.520 That is your unique,
00:19:52.660 you own that.
00:19:53.460 Right.
00:19:53.820 So what we've got to recognize
00:19:54.960 is what we own.
00:19:55.840 We own our thinking,
00:19:56.800 feeling, and choosing.
00:19:57.560 So that person,
00:19:58.320 those two kids in the family,
00:19:59.320 the situation you've just described,
00:20:01.020 you can take the horse
00:20:01.820 to the water.
00:20:02.340 It's that situation,
00:20:03.120 but the horse says
00:20:03.700 to drink the water.
00:20:05.020 And that's the mind.
00:20:06.440 That's the I factor. 0.74
00:20:07.220 That's the part that we are not,
00:20:10.200 have not done enough research on
00:20:11.840 and that I've spent 30 years
00:20:12.860 myself researching.
00:20:14.520 There are a few of us doing it,
00:20:15.740 but we've got to focus on that
00:20:17.020 because otherwise,
00:20:18.460 I can use my brain
00:20:19.920 as an excuse for everything,
00:20:21.100 which is the day and age
00:20:21.880 we live in.
00:20:22.580 You can't make the relationship work.
00:20:23.860 They've got ADHD.
00:20:24.740 That's why they go.
00:20:25.420 They've got this.
00:20:26.020 They've got that.
00:20:26.760 That's why.
00:20:27.420 No, that's not why.
00:20:28.720 Those are effects.
00:20:31.820 This is a great,
00:20:32.640 I've got a great image here.
00:20:33.700 I don't know if you want
00:20:34.060 to have a look at this.
00:20:34.700 This is a very powerful image.
00:20:36.400 What we're going to see here
00:20:37.360 is a real human brain.
00:20:39.580 This is a real life person
00:20:40.600 linked up to very advanced
00:20:41.560 brain technology.
00:20:42.960 And that firing that you see
00:20:44.200 over there is thinking,
00:20:45.800 feeling, choosing. 0.79
00:20:46.620 If you were dead, 0.99
00:20:47.240 there'd be no firing in the brain.
00:20:48.880 So what we're seeing is energy
00:20:50.200 moving through the brain
00:20:51.320 that is being picked up
00:20:52.120 by very complex technology
00:20:54.020 that is showing the brain
00:20:55.500 responding to an alive person.
00:20:57.420 who's thinking,
00:20:58.460 feeling, choosing.
00:20:59.300 So this is in a conversation
00:21:00.460 or this is just steady?
00:21:01.700 That's all the time.
00:21:02.600 It's constant.
00:21:03.460 So your brain looks like that now.
00:21:04.900 But your firing would be
00:21:05.760 different to mine,
00:21:06.460 different to every single viewer.
00:21:07.800 So everyone has their own
00:21:09.060 unique way that the brain
00:21:10.620 actually fires up.
00:21:12.100 So there's a uniqueness.
00:21:13.020 Your brain is designed
00:21:13.900 to match you.
00:21:14.620 It responds to you.
00:21:15.660 And you drive that.
00:21:17.400 So if I'm constantly negative,
00:21:19.940 I drive a negative quantum energy
00:21:22.980 through the brain,
00:21:23.780 which will then cause,
00:21:25.040 still cause an electrochemical,
00:21:26.780 an electromagnetic
00:21:27.360 and genetic reaction,
00:21:28.960 but it's going to be distorted.
00:21:31.300 And that means that I'm going
00:21:32.540 to make something
00:21:33.200 that's all distorted.
00:21:35.000 Or I'm going to do
00:21:36.020 a healthy thought
00:21:37.160 or whatever you want to call it,
00:21:39.120 and I'm going to then change
00:21:41.160 what it looks like.
00:21:41.880 That's why I've got green trees
00:21:43.080 and toxic trees.
00:21:44.420 So if you look at this next slide,
00:21:45.700 this really makes it clear.
00:21:47.760 These are neurons,
00:21:49.420 and you see them moving.
00:21:50.780 So it's kind of the same.
00:21:52.280 It's also in the brain.
00:21:53.880 If you were dead,
00:21:54.560 there'd be no movement.
00:21:56.320 And what you're seeing
00:21:57.260 there's things growing.
00:21:58.300 That's what's happening
00:21:58.920 in your brain at speeds
00:22:00.220 that are very, very fast.
00:22:02.020 You're growing little branches.
00:22:03.560 Those branches...
00:22:04.160 So it's growing
00:22:04.960 and it's building constantly.
00:22:06.980 You're building now.
00:22:07.820 Non-stop.
00:22:08.600 Non-stop.
00:22:08.900 What causes it to develop?
00:22:10.300 Your thinking, feeling,
00:22:11.220 and choosing. 0.74
00:22:11.540 Because if you're dead,
00:22:12.320 it doesn't happen.
00:22:12.840 So let me ask you.
00:22:13.580 Does this mean
00:22:13.940 the more I'm learning
00:22:14.660 and reading,
00:22:15.200 is it building more?
00:22:16.120 More.
00:22:16.480 All the time.
00:22:17.000 You're doing it all day long.
00:22:17.740 Is there a way
00:22:18.020 to measure three brains
00:22:19.060 of one developing
00:22:19.960 versus one not?
00:22:20.740 Yes, we can see that.
00:22:21.580 We can see a response. 0.82
00:22:22.620 Your brain...
00:22:23.100 You've done the use.
00:22:23.860 You see it like...
00:22:24.340 I work with scientists.
00:22:25.420 I'm doing my own research now.
00:22:26.700 We see that...
00:22:27.560 You see brain thickening.
00:22:29.140 You see changes.
00:22:30.140 That's fascinating right there
00:22:31.360 because...
00:22:31.840 You actually see
00:22:33.200 I've got another slide
00:22:34.000 over here.
00:22:35.660 Well, okay,
00:22:36.920 we've got another slide.
00:22:37.940 Okay, we're going to have to
00:22:38.500 pause this, edit this thing.
00:22:39.480 There's another slide
00:22:40.020 that shows inside
00:22:40.880 the actual brain.
00:22:41.820 I don't have it over here,
00:22:42.840 but you can actually see
00:22:44.120 what you're asking me.
00:22:46.000 Let me see if it's over here.
00:22:48.020 Here we go.
00:22:49.220 Okay.
00:22:49.740 This is fascinating.
00:22:51.680 Yeah, that's intense to me.
00:22:53.100 Yeah, it is intense.
00:22:54.040 And this is what people
00:22:54.680 don't realize.
00:22:55.200 But you're doing that.
00:22:55.940 You drive that.
00:22:56.260 You know what that means?
00:22:57.400 That means when you're thinking,
00:22:59.500 you're reading,
00:23:00.160 learning more,
00:23:00.900 your brain is building...
00:23:02.500 Growing.
00:23:02.520 And growing more muscles.
00:23:04.280 It's growing.
00:23:04.840 Not even...
00:23:05.280 It's growing branches.
00:23:06.040 It's growing computers.
00:23:07.060 And those computers...
00:23:08.540 So this is inside your brain.
00:23:10.240 You've got infinite space
00:23:11.560 in your brain.
00:23:12.500 You're designed to think.
00:23:13.520 You're supposed to think.
00:23:14.380 You're supposed to grow your brain.
00:23:15.780 One of the biggest aspects
00:23:16.940 of mental health
00:23:17.600 that is the most
00:23:18.440 undealt with aspect
00:23:20.520 of mental health
00:23:21.220 that I've been fighting
00:23:21.880 for 30 years
00:23:22.660 to get out into
00:23:23.800 people's minds
00:23:25.640 and understanding
00:23:26.760 and that I do with my research
00:23:27.820 is building your brain
00:23:29.520 with your mind.
00:23:30.840 If you don't build your brain,
00:23:31.920 if you're not learning new stuff,
00:23:33.100 if you're not really
00:23:33.840 using your brain every day,
00:23:35.100 it's like not cleaning your house
00:23:36.520 or not cleaning your teeth
00:23:37.420 or not washing your body,
00:23:38.640 your brain builds up toxic waste.
00:23:39.720 Can I go a little deeper in that? 0.98
00:23:40.760 Absolutely.
00:23:41.340 So has there been research
00:23:44.340 to study
00:23:45.100 what builds the brain more?
00:23:47.280 Is it play?
00:23:48.640 Is it seeing a movie
00:23:50.500 that creates your imagination?
00:23:51.920 Is it reading?
00:23:53.320 Is it relationship?
00:23:54.760 Is it...
00:23:55.440 All of the above.
00:23:56.580 Is there one
00:23:57.120 that does more than the other?
00:23:59.060 It's how you...
00:24:00.440 Once again,
00:24:00.920 your eye factor.
00:24:01.600 If I approach a relationship
00:24:03.060 with deep intensity
00:24:04.100 and I really throw everything at it,
00:24:06.260 I'm growing my brain
00:24:07.060 very effectively.
00:24:08.120 If I take material
00:24:09.480 and I study it intensively
00:24:11.000 so that I can understand it
00:24:12.260 and I can actually teach it,
00:24:13.560 that's more effective
00:24:14.380 than if I just took it
00:24:15.260 and just scanned through it
00:24:16.360 or if I just approach
00:24:17.420 a relationship.
00:24:18.620 In terms of comparing across them,
00:24:20.400 it's all dependent
00:24:21.620 on how you are using
00:24:22.760 your perception,
00:24:23.420 how you're using your mind.
00:24:24.720 That builds health
00:24:25.600 into the brain.
00:24:26.720 So constantly,
00:24:27.540 you'll have people
00:24:28.240 that are constantly...
00:24:30.000 Like a therapist,
00:24:30.760 for example,
00:24:31.140 who's always interacting
00:24:32.380 with people
00:24:32.900 and diving into people's heads,
00:24:34.400 you would find
00:24:35.100 that is very...
00:24:36.580 It's not an area
00:24:37.860 in the brain
00:24:38.320 but it's basically
00:24:39.240 that kind of skill
00:24:41.060 has developed in the brain
00:24:42.440 and we can all
00:24:43.840 develop relationships
00:24:44.700 but that's an interest.
00:24:46.220 Does that sometimes
00:24:47.240 shut down the emotion
00:24:48.320 for the therapist?
00:24:49.200 No, because emotions
00:24:50.000 are always there.
00:24:51.220 You know what I'm talking about?
00:24:52.260 Okay, so for instance,
00:24:53.240 I myself,
00:24:54.060 I've hired a therapist
00:24:55.580 for the last 19 years,
00:24:57.500 20 years
00:24:58.020 and I'll go sit with them,
00:24:59.100 right?
00:24:59.300 A person that had been around
00:25:01.200 for 30 years,
00:25:02.640 it's routine.
00:25:03.660 A person that had been around
00:25:04.660 for five years,
00:25:05.980 they're putting
00:25:06.640 a little bit more effort.
00:25:07.580 A person that's been around
00:25:08.360 for 35 years,
00:25:10.200 they're just kind of like,
00:25:10.760 oh, okay,
00:25:11.100 so how did I make you feel?
00:25:12.240 So tell me about this.
00:25:13.320 They just got lazy.
00:25:14.200 They just got lazy.
00:25:15.700 I saw a trend
00:25:16.340 a little bit with that
00:25:17.020 where sometimes
00:25:17.480 the fire was being gone
00:25:18.420 but let me go back to this.
00:25:19.980 I want to go a little bit deeper
00:25:20.800 with this conversation as well.
00:25:22.120 So you know how
00:25:22.900 generals historically,
00:25:25.860 general,
00:25:26.180 like general of the army,
00:25:27.140 leaders of the army
00:25:27.740 would say,
00:25:28.320 this country produces
00:25:30.340 the best human beings
00:25:31.880 or the best specimen.
00:25:34.480 Maybe it's a better word
00:25:35.400 to use.
00:25:36.200 I'm talking to Kai.
00:25:38.040 Kai's from Norway.
00:25:39.360 He tells me,
00:25:39.920 do you know Hitler believed
00:25:40.960 that the best specimen
00:25:42.980 came from Norway
00:25:44.240 because whatever reasons.
00:25:46.120 Right now,
00:25:46.400 why he thinks that,
00:25:47.180 I have no idea
00:25:47.660 why he thinks that
00:25:48.360 but you see a lot of generals
00:25:49.500 and rulers will say
00:25:50.480 Assyrians make the best people
00:25:53.640 because of blood
00:25:54.420 is stemmed from fire
00:25:55.700 and they got this
00:25:57.140 and they're students
00:25:57.900 and they're original.
00:25:59.260 They've been around
00:25:59.780 for a while.
00:26:00.820 All these things.
00:26:01.860 Is there a way,
00:26:02.980 is there a way
00:26:03.780 for,
00:26:05.720 and maybe if we don't have it
00:26:06.740 right now scientifically
00:26:07.380 because this to me,
00:26:09.220 I mean if you have this,
00:26:10.460 this is insane,
00:26:11.480 the rest of it.
00:26:11.960 Is there a way
00:26:12.920 to measure a person's capacity
00:26:17.320 from the day they're born
00:26:19.820 or maybe at a year old
00:26:20.820 to do a test on their brain
00:26:21.940 and say this person's wiring
00:26:23.820 on how the brain is.
00:26:24.940 If you feed the right information
00:26:26.120 to this person,
00:26:26.940 they could end up being
00:26:28.120 an Elon Musk type of guy.
00:26:29.760 They could end up being
00:26:30.460 the next Einstein.
00:26:31.280 This person could end up
00:26:32.120 being like a Churchill
00:26:32.800 or an Alexander Hamilton
00:26:34.040 because the wiring
00:26:36.020 has the ability to grow.
00:26:37.640 Is there a way
00:26:38.100 to measure that?
00:26:39.400 No,
00:26:39.940 because it's complete
00:26:40.680 neuroreductionism.
00:26:41.680 They've tried to do it.
00:26:42.600 They're trying to do it
00:26:43.360 and it's the worst thing
00:26:44.300 that's ever been done
00:26:45.000 because it takes away
00:26:45.860 the uniqueness of a human.
00:26:47.400 Anyone could be anything
00:26:48.660 depending on who you are.
00:26:50.780 Anyone could be anything.
00:26:51.660 It's where you go.
00:26:53.300 It's your perception
00:26:53.860 and why do we have to,
00:26:55.300 but I'm not saying that.
00:26:56.300 Let me rephrase that.
00:26:57.280 I'm not saying everyone
00:26:58.000 can be an Elon Musk
00:26:58.900 and everyone can be an Einstein.
00:27:00.560 If that's not where
00:27:01.320 your leaning goes,
00:27:02.200 if you are an incredible artist,
00:27:03.900 that's as brilliant
00:27:04.780 as someone who is a physicist.
00:27:06.160 Oh, I did that.
00:27:06.440 I did that.
00:27:07.740 It's who you are.
00:27:08.700 It's the uniqueness
00:27:09.340 of where your interest goes.
00:27:10.320 I'm not asking that.
00:27:10.980 So, okay.
00:27:12.580 So, no, you can't.
00:27:13.420 What you're trying to say
00:27:14.460 is neuroreductionism.
00:27:15.300 Yeah, what I'm not asking is...
00:27:16.500 Can we predict
00:27:17.180 that there is a certain type
00:27:18.340 of brain that will do
00:27:19.080 a certain type of thing
00:27:19.900 and can we grow it?
00:27:20.580 No, you can't.
00:27:21.080 That's neuroreductionism.
00:27:22.080 Okay.
00:27:22.100 Maybe let me show this to you
00:27:23.580 and you explain to me
00:27:24.740 if I'm thinking the right way.
00:27:26.560 Okay.
00:27:27.140 We got three different people.
00:27:29.680 Okay.
00:27:29.880 Mary, okay, Bobby, Cindy.
00:27:33.840 They're siblings.
00:27:34.840 Okay.
00:27:35.440 Mary, Bobby, Cindy.
00:27:36.660 Okay.
00:27:37.540 Mary has a high level
00:27:39.660 of capacity in life.
00:27:40.840 Mm-hmm.
00:27:41.240 Okay.
00:27:41.900 She is obviously... 0.99
00:27:43.560 It's very obvious
00:27:44.360 from very early on.
00:27:45.160 Very intuitive,
00:27:45.880 good with people,
00:27:46.500 understands, you know,
00:27:47.940 thinks in a different way,
00:27:48.880 decisions,
00:27:49.360 different perspective,
00:27:50.560 perception of how
00:27:51.320 she views the world.
00:27:53.120 Then Bobby's slightly
00:27:54.380 lower than him
00:27:55.140 and lower than her
00:27:56.260 and then you got Cindy
00:27:57.100 lower than Bobby.
00:27:58.460 Okay.
00:27:59.460 I'm asking capacity.
00:28:01.220 If Bobby reaches this level
00:28:04.300 in life,
00:28:05.480 it's still lower than her
00:28:07.040 if she gets here.
00:28:08.880 But she's done more
00:28:09.960 with her life,
00:28:10.920 with his life,
00:28:11.820 than Mary
00:28:12.580 because Mary's potential
00:28:13.740 of doing more in life
00:28:14.520 is higher.
00:28:15.640 So all I'm asking for
00:28:16.860 is there are people
00:28:17.640 that have a higher potential.
00:28:19.040 Not everybody can be
00:28:20.060 in Elon Musk, right?
00:28:21.240 Not everybody can be
00:28:22.220 in Einstein.
00:28:22.840 Not everybody can be a...
00:28:24.120 And that's okay.
00:28:24.720 There's nothing wrong with that.
00:28:25.600 I'm not making
00:28:26.040 the comparison part.
00:28:27.340 All I'm saying is
00:28:28.140 is there a measuring mechanism
00:28:29.740 to say this person's capacity
00:28:32.120 based on the way
00:28:32.880 their brain is wired
00:28:33.860 is a lot higher
00:28:35.340 than another person
00:28:36.160 based on the way.
00:28:36.880 No, not at all.
00:28:37.440 The answer is no.
00:28:38.300 Absolutely no.
00:28:39.040 Absolutely not.
00:28:39.920 Yes, because your brain
00:28:40.780 is only 1% of how you function
00:28:42.240 and the biggest danger
00:28:43.120 that's happened
00:28:43.640 with neuroscience
00:28:44.780 and the advent of technology,
00:28:47.820 the MRI,
00:28:48.380 the FMRI mid-90s
00:28:49.720 and the understanding
00:28:50.960 of neuroplasticity
00:28:52.340 is that people
00:28:53.680 have tried to find
00:28:54.680 neurobiological correlates
00:28:56.000 of intelligence,
00:28:57.400 of mental health,
00:28:58.580 of mental illness
00:28:59.200 and it's completely
00:29:00.220 and utterly unscientific
00:29:01.700 and lacking in evidence.
00:29:03.180 Yale just brought out 0.99
00:29:04.000 a study recently
00:29:04.780 saying that there is
00:29:05.480 no normal brain.
00:29:07.260 And what that means
00:29:08.200 is that every brain
00:29:09.280 has the potential
00:29:10.140 to become
00:29:10.700 what that person's interest is.
00:29:13.400 So...
00:29:13.560 Very good point right there.
00:29:14.680 What that person's interest is.
00:29:16.840 Fair enough.
00:29:17.280 And then that comes back
00:29:18.320 to the I factor.
00:29:19.480 So I can have
00:29:21.280 the most amazing desire
00:29:23.120 to grow in a direction
00:29:24.440 and show signs of doing that
00:29:25.780 but there's just something
00:29:26.640 about how I'm seeing life
00:29:28.140 that could block me
00:29:28.820 and someone else
00:29:29.780 who you...
00:29:31.820 Cindy, Bobby, whatever,
00:29:33.260 who also makes
00:29:34.020 that judgment?
00:29:35.000 You know,
00:29:35.140 we're coming from
00:29:35.960 a very materialistic view
00:29:37.500 of who's allowed to say
00:29:39.400 that that one's got
00:29:40.000 more potential
00:29:40.540 than that one.
00:29:41.280 Yeah, so...
00:29:42.060 But it's still a decision.
00:29:43.620 Someone has said
00:29:44.280 you've got more potential
00:29:45.280 than you simply buy a behavior.
00:29:47.340 Well, you know what it's like?
00:29:48.020 It's kind of like this.
00:29:49.140 I will judge you
00:29:50.340 if you're 7'1
00:29:51.380 and you're 15 years old.
00:29:53.440 There is a 40% chance
00:29:55.180 you can end up playing
00:29:55.800 in the NBA.
00:29:56.280 Yeah, but that's physical,
00:29:57.240 external.
00:29:57.900 That's a physical...
00:29:58.860 You've looked at someone physically.
00:30:00.160 You've looked at the physical.
00:30:01.140 When they start talking,
00:30:02.200 that person,
00:30:03.180 there's enough research
00:30:04.480 out there
00:30:04.880 with people
00:30:05.320 that they have thought
00:30:06.080 would not do very well.
00:30:07.760 Einstein is a classic case of that
00:30:09.300 where he was seen
00:30:10.420 as a slow kid.
00:30:11.360 He was even told
00:30:12.000 taken out of school
00:30:12.980 and homeschooled.
00:30:13.920 That's three and a half years old.
00:30:14.640 Because he just did not
00:30:16.280 think in the stand.
00:30:17.840 I talk a lot about that
00:30:18.600 in my book,
00:30:19.020 Think, Learn, Succeed.
00:30:19.760 We've got to be so careful
00:30:20.720 of learning styles.
00:30:21.560 It's the most inaccurate
00:30:22.300 way of judging people.
00:30:23.820 Personality profiles.
00:30:25.020 Go back to learning style.
00:30:26.460 What do you mean by that?
00:30:27.160 Learning style
00:30:27.880 is not science at all.
00:30:29.540 For 25 years,
00:30:30.980 there's been a few of us
00:30:31.960 in the lonely world
00:30:34.440 and are saying
00:30:34.960 do not work on learning styles
00:30:36.580 because it limits people.
00:30:38.120 Can you tell me
00:30:38.580 what a learning style is to you?
00:30:39.660 What is learning style?
00:30:40.300 Learning style,
00:30:40.580 people talk about
00:30:41.060 being a visual learner,
00:30:41.820 an auditory learner,
00:30:42.700 all that kind of stuff.
00:30:43.620 So a lot of education systems
00:30:46.240 have been based around
00:30:47.260 for years on that.
00:30:48.840 But that's very limiting
00:30:49.700 because you cannot say
00:30:50.680 you're a visual learner
00:30:51.700 because every single person
00:30:53.600 imagines.
00:30:53.620 So you don't believe in that at all?
00:30:54.620 Not at all.
00:30:55.240 It's not even science.
00:30:56.420 It's not even,
00:30:57.100 it's never,
00:30:57.500 it's actually been
00:30:58.080 totally disproven.
00:30:58.860 Who has disproven that?
00:31:00.780 Many, many scientists.
00:31:02.140 I have many studies
00:31:03.120 that I quote actually
00:31:03.840 in this book.
00:31:04.200 I am so curious.
00:31:05.340 So basically what we have
00:31:07.200 is the learning style movement
00:31:08.400 has limited people
00:31:09.520 because it's saying
00:31:10.100 you're this type of person.
00:31:11.620 It has given birth,
00:31:12.880 it's come out
00:31:13.540 of the IQ movement.
00:31:15.240 So you're either a number.
00:31:16.420 So they would do
00:31:16.880 a static test
00:31:17.700 to see how you responded
00:31:19.220 in that moment
00:31:19.860 and your whole potential
00:31:20.920 and your whole life
00:31:21.620 was judged on that.
00:31:22.740 IQ tests play
00:31:23.480 a much lesser role now.
00:31:25.080 They still play a role.
00:31:26.080 Then we went to
00:31:26.660 the more personality,
00:31:28.020 learning style,
00:31:29.020 movement,
00:31:30.100 which put you in a category.
00:31:31.620 And it said,
00:31:32.120 if you do X,
00:31:33.380 then you that.
00:31:34.660 Now in the same category
00:31:36.020 is this neuro reductionism,
00:31:37.400 which is trying to say
00:31:38.620 this is the perfect brain.
00:31:40.400 If you have this kind of wiring,
00:31:42.360 you're going to be able
00:31:43.680 to do this.
00:31:44.340 It links to artificial intelligence.
00:31:46.120 Yeah, I'm not saying that.
00:31:47.840 You're basically saying
00:31:48.900 is there a certain pattern
00:31:50.360 of wiring
00:31:50.920 that you can activate
00:31:52.620 or stimulate
00:31:53.820 to achieve that kind of goal?
00:31:56.140 So let me ask you
00:31:56.640 in a different way.
00:31:57.840 And again,
00:31:58.780 if brain,
00:32:00.540 are there muscles,
00:32:01.580 what would you call those muscles?
00:32:02.780 No, they're little proteins.
00:32:04.740 They're little computers.
00:32:06.580 Little computers.
00:32:07.080 Would you say
00:32:07.820 muscles are little proteins? 0.60
00:32:09.380 Yes, they eventually
00:32:09.920 break down to proteins.
00:32:11.040 So essentially,
00:32:12.680 maybe there's some similarity there,
00:32:13.840 right?
00:32:14.040 You could.
00:32:14.220 You could use that
00:32:14.780 as an analogy.
00:32:15.520 So for instance,
00:32:16.240 in bodybuilding,
00:32:18.240 they call it endomorph,
00:32:19.240 ectomorph, mesomorph,
00:32:20.360 right?
00:32:21.000 And it's a guy like me,
00:32:22.500 like I have small,
00:32:23.380 what do you call it?
00:32:24.880 Wrists.
00:32:25.740 Joints,
00:32:26.260 or what do you call it?
00:32:27.400 Like here, here.
00:32:28.940 Joints, yeah.
00:32:29.440 Joints, yeah.
00:32:29.920 So what this does is
00:32:31.020 it benefits a bodybuilder
00:32:32.300 because it makes
00:32:32.940 the forearm look bigger
00:32:33.920 versus somebody
00:32:34.520 who has a bigger forearm.
00:32:35.540 So you're looking like,
00:32:36.780 ah, you know,
00:32:37.280 he's going to look boxy.
00:32:38.940 Perspective.
00:32:39.420 Yeah.
00:32:39.760 So then you're looking like,
00:32:40.780 ah, I don't know if this guy's
00:32:41.560 got the physique to be
00:32:42.280 Mr. Olympia, right?
00:32:43.440 You can tell very early on
00:32:44.960 if someone's got a physique
00:32:45.660 to be Mr. Olympia.
00:32:46.540 That's what I'm saying.
00:32:47.480 So this person may be built
00:32:48.440 to be Mr. Olympia.
00:32:49.560 All I'm saying is
00:32:50.840 this person's got
00:32:51.800 a very extremely sensitive brain
00:32:55.360 that if the proper information
00:32:57.280 is given to her
00:32:58.420 and she finds something
00:33:00.040 that's passionately interested in,
00:33:02.560 she has the ability 1.00
00:33:03.580 to really expand it
00:33:04.540 into something very big.
00:33:06.040 I'm not saying specifically
00:33:07.120 put it in a box.
00:33:07.860 Like in Germany, 0.98
00:33:08.500 from ninth grade,
00:33:09.220 they decide what you need
00:33:10.020 to do as a career.
00:33:10.780 Well, here's what you're going to,
00:33:11.560 because the educational system
00:33:12.440 is slightly different, right?
00:33:13.460 British system too, right?
00:33:14.340 In America, 0.65
00:33:14.800 it's a little bit more flexible.
00:33:16.160 If they did that to me,
00:33:17.500 it'd be broken
00:33:18.120 because that would have gone
00:33:18.920 a different direction.
00:33:20.240 I'm just asking measurement
00:33:21.780 to say,
00:33:23.620 and it's not even an IQ thing.
00:33:25.200 It's a pure like
00:33:25.860 looking at the way
00:33:26.640 it's set up to measure
00:33:27.740 and say,
00:33:28.280 this person can do something
00:33:29.520 really magnificent
00:33:30.340 with this brain
00:33:31.240 and this mind
00:33:32.060 if we feed the right information
00:33:33.360 to this individual.
00:33:34.100 Okay, you're talking
00:33:34.260 about two different things.
00:33:35.620 What you've done
00:33:36.260 is you've mixed up
00:33:37.040 physical and mental.
00:33:38.420 So you're totally
00:33:39.100 100% correct in saying
00:33:40.620 that you could look
00:33:41.640 at that physique
00:33:42.180 of the bodybuilder
00:33:43.340 versus someone
00:33:44.020 who's very thin,
00:33:44.940 scorny, tiny.
00:33:45.680 You're not going to,
00:33:46.320 unless they really,
00:33:47.540 they just don't.
00:33:48.120 So there's a physical thing
00:33:49.500 that enables you
00:33:51.460 to lean towards...
00:33:51.620 Protein is protein.
00:33:52.340 It's also somewhat physical, right?
00:33:53.780 Yes, it is.
00:33:54.420 It's physical.
00:33:54.920 That is physical.
00:33:55.880 So there's the physical
00:33:56.720 that 1% 0.53
00:33:57.540 that shows
00:33:58.440 that there's probably
00:33:59.220 more tendency
00:33:59.880 for someone like you
00:34:01.500 to become a bodybuilder
00:34:02.400 than like me
00:34:02.940 to become a bodybuilder
00:34:03.860 just in terms of our size.
00:34:05.200 Okay, so there's
00:34:05.560 the physique thing.
00:34:06.340 That's the physical.
00:34:07.340 The other side is
00:34:08.480 you can look
00:34:09.260 at a person's
00:34:10.180 what they're saying,
00:34:11.360 what they're doing,
00:34:12.020 what they seem
00:34:12.440 to be interested in.
00:34:13.200 That's what you're saying.
00:34:13.980 And if you shape that,
00:34:15.460 can you expose them
00:34:17.980 to the books
00:34:18.680 and the mentors
00:34:20.320 and the whatever,
00:34:21.300 can you grow them
00:34:22.020 in that direction?
00:34:23.140 There isn't a way
00:34:24.240 of measuring that
00:34:24.860 with the brain.
00:34:25.580 And I'm going to use AI,
00:34:26.740 artificial intelligence,
00:34:27.720 to explain to you.
00:34:28.800 One neuron in the brain
00:34:30.020 moves at a speed
00:34:32.220 or fires at a speed
00:34:33.220 of 10 to the 16.
00:34:34.420 One neuron.
00:34:35.440 Okay?
00:34:36.340 Artificial intelligence
00:34:37.320 is trying to build
00:34:38.340 a human brain
00:34:39.160 that can do
00:34:39.700 what a human can do
00:34:40.700 based on getting
00:34:42.100 the firing speed
00:34:43.060 up to 10 to the 16.
00:34:44.840 That's only one neuron.
00:34:46.880 Your brain is not
00:34:47.760 made of one neuron.
00:34:48.720 Your brain is made
00:34:49.340 of 100 billion neurons.
00:34:50.420 That's only 20%
00:34:51.220 of brain tissue.
00:34:52.400 The entire brain
00:34:53.360 of that 100 billion neurons,
00:34:55.380 they fire a speed
00:34:56.120 of 10 to the 27,
00:34:57.240 which is,
00:34:57.720 it's so big,
00:34:59.300 it's incomprehensible.
00:35:01.260 So that's the one part.
00:35:02.580 Then there's all the other
00:35:03.260 parts of the brain
00:35:04.000 that interact.
00:35:04.580 Now we see that
00:35:05.520 the chemicals
00:35:06.740 that pay an impact,
00:35:07.520 this pays an impact,
00:35:08.620 the quantum wave
00:35:09.640 plays an impact.
00:35:10.660 By the time you've
00:35:11.340 built all those factors in,
00:35:12.840 you'll see it's
00:35:13.320 absolutely impossible
00:35:14.480 to do that.
00:35:15.940 The big leader
00:35:16.560 in this field
00:35:17.220 has been actually
00:35:18.700 also a South African,
00:35:20.260 a guy who ran
00:35:21.600 the Blue Brain Project
00:35:24.440 and the change
00:35:25.400 into another name.
00:35:27.180 And basically,
00:35:27.980 oh, I've gone blank now,
00:35:28.780 his name's going to
00:35:29.200 come back in a moment.
00:35:30.480 He basically,
00:35:31.360 his whole goal
00:35:32.120 was to build a,
00:35:33.980 Mac, what was his name again?
00:35:35.640 Henry Markram.
00:35:36.240 Henry Markram.
00:35:36.660 Henry Markram, thank you.
00:35:37.540 Henry Markram.
00:35:38.980 His whole goal,
00:35:40.060 30 years ago,
00:35:40.740 he went to the same
00:35:41.260 university as I did,
00:35:42.580 was to build
00:35:43.320 an artificial brain.
00:35:44.900 12 years into the,
00:35:47.280 and he said he'd do it
00:35:47.920 in 12 years,
00:35:48.780 a few short years
00:35:49.640 into the project.
00:35:50.520 Now we're talking about
00:35:51.280 a guy who raised
00:35:52.440 billions of euros,
00:35:53.660 billions of dollars,
00:35:54.840 teams of scientists,
00:35:55.960 the best,
00:35:56.380 and he still runs
00:35:56.980 one of the biggest
00:35:57.480 brain projects
00:35:58.120 in the world.
00:35:58.620 He said,
00:36:00.000 and this is what
00:36:00.520 makes him brilliant
00:36:01.280 as a scientist,
00:36:02.820 I made a mistake.
00:36:04.460 My mistake was
00:36:05.260 to think
00:36:05.900 that we could simulate
00:36:07.000 the human brain
00:36:08.380 in a computer,
00:36:09.480 that we could make
00:36:10.100 something that's
00:36:11.000 not this physical structure
00:36:14.100 that we see
00:36:14.720 into something
00:36:15.620 that we could predict
00:36:16.480 and program
00:36:17.100 and say this person's
00:36:18.720 that and that
00:36:19.100 and build that.
00:36:19.880 That, it's impossible.
00:36:21.280 He said after 30...
00:36:22.260 You think that's impossible?
00:36:23.140 Yes.
00:36:23.400 He says it's impossible?
00:36:23.960 Yes.
00:36:24.460 After 30 years,
00:36:25.400 there's no project
00:36:26.160 that's bigger than his.
00:36:26.880 After 30 years of doing this,
00:36:28.080 what they've managed
00:36:28.680 to do with the top
00:36:29.400 scientists in the world
00:36:30.340 is they've managed
00:36:31.520 to simulate
00:36:32.920 one thought
00:36:34.860 in a mouse brain
00:36:35.820 looking for cheese
00:36:37.580 or whatever
00:36:37.920 and it's a veritable universe.
00:36:40.120 So his argument
00:36:41.380 and then there's other people
00:36:42.260 like Hammerhoff
00:36:42.960 in Arizona
00:36:44.180 and Dr. Sir Roger Penrose,
00:36:46.580 the mathematician,
00:36:47.320 these scientists
00:36:48.240 that are like out there,
00:36:49.280 scientists that are brilliant,
00:36:50.940 that have shown
00:36:51.820 that it is absolutely
00:36:53.320 impossible
00:36:53.820 because one thought
00:36:54.800 is a veritable universe.
00:36:56.000 In a rat,
00:36:56.700 what are the thoughts
00:36:57.400 that you think
00:36:58.040 you never stop thinking?
00:36:59.820 You are constantly
00:37:00.580 building new thoughts.
00:37:02.020 Every 10 seconds,
00:37:02.980 you are able to consciously
00:37:04.120 and deliberately
00:37:04.620 capture your thoughts.
00:37:05.860 There's no space
00:37:07.040 that you're going to run out of
00:37:08.020 in your brain
00:37:08.620 in terms of the amount
00:37:09.460 of thoughts
00:37:09.820 and it's all different.
00:37:10.860 There's no similarity. 0.94
00:37:12.300 We're all a bit crazy.
00:37:13.300 There's no one...
00:37:14.360 So we can't get a model
00:37:15.620 that says,
00:37:16.420 if you have that type of model,
00:37:18.000 what we see is behavior.
00:37:19.700 We see interest.
00:37:21.000 We see four kids.
00:37:22.640 I see you've got three kids.
00:37:23.740 I've got four.
00:37:24.160 I see my one
00:37:25.060 who's much more interested
00:37:26.340 in kind of my field.
00:37:28.700 So that's what she went
00:37:30.000 into at university.
00:37:30.680 Another one who's totally
00:37:31.680 into the literature side.
00:37:32.700 Another one who's totally
00:37:33.380 into the history side.
00:37:34.520 So as a parent,
00:37:35.380 we make sure
00:37:36.520 that we expose our children,
00:37:38.220 help them.
00:37:38.620 Absolutely.
00:37:38.900 That's what we're talking about.
00:37:40.100 So then you guide them
00:37:41.340 and you give them
00:37:41.940 the opportunity.
00:37:42.800 So it's more creating opportunity.
00:37:44.520 But there isn't
00:37:45.120 a reductionistic way.
00:37:47.540 Neuroreductionism
00:37:47.980 has been burst
00:37:48.600 out of the MRI movement
00:37:50.300 in the mid-90s
00:37:51.380 where we could see
00:37:52.400 inside the brain.
00:37:53.140 And there was this love affair
00:37:54.020 that began with saying
00:37:55.420 that we can see this 0.78
00:37:56.820 in your brain.
00:37:57.420 This is the size change.
00:37:58.420 This causes this.
00:37:59.240 And it's not the truth.
00:38:00.720 An MRI is 70% inaccurate.
00:38:02.700 I work with QEEGs. 1.00
00:38:03.740 MRI is 70% inaccurate.
00:38:06.300 It's 70% false positives.
00:38:08.980 So it claims
00:38:09.460 40,000 studies
00:38:10.760 have been done on MRIs.
00:38:12.780 70% of what they find
00:38:16.240 is a false positive.
00:38:17.260 You cannot say
00:38:18.460 that this part of the brain
00:38:20.480 does this.
00:38:21.440 Therefore,
00:38:21.680 I don't have an MRI up here.
00:38:22.780 But this part of the brain
00:38:24.460 does this for this firing
00:38:25.620 to show the response
00:38:27.580 in the brain.
00:38:28.160 So what we can see
00:38:29.000 on a very broad scale
00:38:30.380 is a response.
00:38:31.480 Like I use QEEGs 0.87
00:38:32.580 in my research.
00:38:34.480 And a QEEG 1.00
00:38:35.140 is a very accurate way
00:38:36.220 of seeing activation
00:38:38.140 in the moment.
00:38:39.100 So I linked you up now
00:38:39.960 to a QEEG machine
00:38:41.180 and I had my technicians
00:38:42.120 analyze what's going on.
00:38:43.720 Both of us.
00:38:44.360 We would have a lot of
00:38:45.100 what we call
00:38:45.540 high gamma activity,
00:38:47.020 which is a wave
00:38:48.040 that shows a lot of
00:38:49.300 insight, deep thinking,
00:38:50.440 creative.
00:38:51.540 We're making a lot of links.
00:38:52.560 There's a lot of thinking
00:38:53.380 going on here.
00:38:54.940 If I was,
00:38:56.500 if we linked it up,
00:38:57.480 that machine up
00:38:58.340 to someone
00:38:58.760 who's in chronic stress,
00:39:00.060 who is just not,
00:39:01.500 who's waking up
00:39:02.000 in the morning
00:39:02.360 battling to get
00:39:02.980 through the day,
00:39:03.600 who's just stuck
00:39:04.460 in a pattern
00:39:04.900 of negativity
00:39:05.620 and worry
00:39:06.260 and is battling
00:39:07.240 to make it
00:39:07.800 through every moment,
00:39:08.720 we would see
00:39:09.380 very little gamma activity.
00:39:10.860 We would see patterns,
00:39:12.200 and it changes
00:39:12.600 every moment,
00:39:13.420 but we would see
00:39:13.980 a general pattern
00:39:15.060 of what we call
00:39:16.060 high beta activity
00:39:17.560 and whatever.
00:39:18.320 So there's certain
00:39:18.900 patterns,
00:39:19.660 but they don't,
00:39:20.280 they're not telling
00:39:20.780 you a story.
00:39:21.560 They're just patterns.
00:39:22.300 They're responses.
00:39:23.320 So the brain tells us
00:39:24.760 something's going on.
00:39:26.260 It's like standing
00:39:27.000 on a 20-foot building,
00:39:28.480 20th floor of a hotel,
00:39:30.060 and downstairs,
00:39:31.060 you see a group
00:39:31.840 of people talking.
00:39:32.860 You can't hear
00:39:33.720 what they're saying.
00:39:34.360 You can,
00:39:34.800 maybe if you lean
00:39:35.360 over the balcony
00:39:35.940 and open the window,
00:39:36.540 you can hear a little bit
00:39:37.160 of noise,
00:39:37.520 because noise carries,
00:39:38.880 and then you see
00:39:39.720 there's something going on.
00:39:40.560 So you see there's
00:39:40.960 maybe a fight
00:39:41.640 or an argument,
00:39:42.340 but you don't know
00:39:43.480 the detail
00:39:44.000 of what's going on.
00:39:44.960 That's what
00:39:45.320 brain technology tells us.
00:39:46.540 It tells us that
00:39:47.180 the brain,
00:39:48.000 something's going on
00:39:48.780 in the brain,
00:39:49.460 the brain responds
00:39:50.340 and the brain
00:39:50.920 constantly changes.
00:39:52.320 The greatest contribution
00:39:53.480 brain technology
00:39:54.500 has made
00:39:55.160 is that our brain
00:39:56.400 constantly changes,
00:39:57.940 and that's called
00:39:58.320 neuroplasticity.
00:39:58.960 How often?
00:40:00.320 It's changed now.
00:40:01.260 Every second is changing.
00:40:02.260 Every experience
00:40:02.820 is changing.
00:40:04.020 Back in the 80s,
00:40:05.100 I was trained.
00:40:06.280 I did a TED talk on this.
00:40:07.500 I was trained
00:40:08.280 that the brain
00:40:09.420 couldn't change.
00:40:10.100 I challenged that.
00:40:10.660 I did work with people
00:40:11.680 that had traumatic
00:40:12.560 brain injury,
00:40:14.080 like major,
00:40:15.260 that had been written off
00:40:16.100 by neurologists
00:40:16.780 and neurosurgeons,
00:40:18.040 and through deliberate
00:40:19.200 and intentional
00:40:19.820 building of the brain,
00:40:20.940 learning,
00:40:21.880 growing the brain,
00:40:22.880 studying daily,
00:40:24.240 working on mind management
00:40:25.780 for emotional stuff,
00:40:26.780 doing this mind work,
00:40:29.240 and that's just one case,
00:40:31.640 went back to university,
00:40:33.220 ended up finishing school,
00:40:34.380 getting high grades,
00:40:35.180 and this kid
00:40:36.200 had been written off
00:40:36.840 as a vegetable,
00:40:37.820 and I've seen that
00:40:38.440 happen way too often.
00:40:39.340 Not just me,
00:40:39.840 there's many scientists
00:40:40.780 who have since
00:40:41.540 shown that
00:40:42.500 when you use your mind,
00:40:44.020 your brain will change.
00:40:45.180 Now,
00:40:45.360 technologies confirm that.
00:40:47.040 MRIs show us,
00:40:48.040 yes,
00:40:48.220 I'm thinking 0.90
00:40:48.680 your brain is changing.
00:40:49.780 It never stays the same,
00:40:50.860 and that's the beauty
00:40:51.520 of humanity.
00:40:52.380 You're always changing.
00:40:53.600 So you don't fear
00:40:54.640 AI threat at all?
00:40:55.800 Not at all.
00:40:56.560 It's fantastic.
00:40:57.280 It's just giving us
00:40:57.840 more insight.
00:40:58.500 So this whole thing
00:40:59.260 about AI is going to
00:41:00.020 replace all jobs
00:41:01.200 and work.
00:41:02.060 You're saying
00:41:02.620 it would never.
00:41:03.180 It could never,
00:41:03.620 because it's just going
00:41:04.040 to make our jobs easier.
00:41:05.280 We're going to have
00:41:05.780 to be smarter
00:41:06.360 in how we manage things.
00:41:07.920 It's really,
00:41:08.680 it's like technology
00:41:09.420 on phones.
00:41:10.380 If technology's managed,
00:41:11.820 it's a tremendous asset
00:41:12.780 to humanity.
00:41:13.600 It's only when
00:41:14.160 it's mismanaged
00:41:15.080 that it becomes a problem.
00:41:16.840 So AI is a way of,
00:41:18.880 like the first quantum
00:41:19.760 computers have already
00:41:20.580 been built,
00:41:21.380 and that's a great way
00:41:22.520 of us being able
00:41:24.000 to understand knowledge
00:41:25.580 and manage knowledge
00:41:26.340 more effectively.
00:41:27.320 It's how we use
00:41:28.160 the technology
00:41:28.720 is always going
00:41:29.240 to be the issue.
00:41:30.060 It's how we use
00:41:30.740 brain technology
00:41:31.500 that's going to be
00:41:32.120 the issue.
00:41:32.960 Brain technology
00:41:33.600 has been used badly
00:41:35.140 for humanity
00:41:36.280 in a lot of ways,
00:41:37.020 very good in a lot of ways,
00:41:38.180 because it's given us
00:41:38.920 a lot about,
00:41:39.720 I mean,
00:41:40.040 through technology
00:41:40.700 I've learned
00:41:41.040 about the brain,
00:41:42.000 but it certainly
00:41:42.700 doesn't tell you
00:41:43.360 about how you,
00:41:44.840 okay,
00:41:45.420 let me explain this.
00:41:46.140 If the brain fires up
00:41:47.140 and you are looking
00:41:48.980 at a painting
00:41:49.600 and someone else
00:41:50.680 is going through
00:41:51.300 a trauma,
00:41:51.780 you can't see
00:41:52.540 that firing 0.87
00:41:53.220 in your brain.
00:41:54.200 I can't tell you
00:41:55.020 if that firing
00:41:55.680 is because you've
00:41:56.400 had a trauma
00:41:56.940 and you're
00:41:57.480 re-experiencing
00:41:58.120 a PTSD,
00:41:59.040 or you are looking
00:42:00.400 at a beautiful painting
00:42:01.240 because the same
00:42:01.760 kind of firing
00:42:02.320 happens in the brain.
00:42:02.980 You can't tell
00:42:03.700 by just looking.
00:42:04.240 You can't tell,
00:42:04.540 no.
00:42:04.760 So, say hypothetically,
00:42:05.500 you sit over here,
00:42:06.640 okay,
00:42:07.520 and you have this
00:42:08.360 QEEG,
00:42:09.000 whatever you've got
00:42:09.440 on my brain,
00:42:11.060 okay,
00:42:11.780 and we have
00:42:12.240 different things
00:42:12.760 that are coming
00:42:13.180 behind you.
00:42:13.780 You can't see
00:42:14.280 what I'm looking at,
00:42:15.040 right?
00:42:15.240 No.
00:42:15.800 You cannot find out
00:42:17.000 what, nothing.
00:42:18.480 So, there's
00:42:19.100 something going on.
00:42:19.860 It's very stimulated.
00:42:20.700 You can see you're
00:42:21.260 very stimulated.
00:42:22.000 There's a lot of activity
00:42:22.800 I can see from your eyes.
00:42:23.200 You can't differentiate
00:42:24.240 between the different
00:42:24.840 stimulations.
00:42:25.300 No, you can't.
00:42:25.520 You can't read thoughts.
00:42:26.780 And that's where
00:42:27.420 what Henry and Mark...
00:42:28.260 You think one day
00:42:28.860 we can't or no?
00:42:29.820 No, you can only
00:42:30.760 predict from
00:42:31.480 people's behavior.
00:42:32.800 And we'll get...
00:42:33.500 Obviously, technology
00:42:34.260 is going to advance,
00:42:35.140 but not in a thousand
00:42:36.200 times a thousand years.
00:42:37.200 So, therefore,
00:42:37.780 literally,
00:42:38.200 this is what Henry Markram
00:42:39.200 and Hammerhoff,
00:42:40.440 which are the two
00:42:40.900 leaders in this field,
00:42:41.820 they're really the leaders
00:42:42.700 fighting the AI movement
00:42:44.300 in terms of not
00:42:44.980 fighting it in terms
00:42:45.940 of you mustn't develop
00:42:46.800 technology,
00:42:47.680 but you need to be
00:42:48.580 realistic.
00:42:49.580 If one thought
00:42:50.520 in a mouse brain
00:42:51.320 is a veritable universe,
00:42:52.900 how are many other
00:42:53.980 thoughts in your brain?
00:42:55.480 And what kind of universe?
00:42:56.600 It's a universe.
00:42:57.360 Your child,
00:42:57.940 your children,
00:42:58.500 your little girl,
00:42:59.540 she's a universe of thoughts
00:43:00.960 and you'll never
00:43:01.980 fully understand her.
00:43:03.000 You'll never fully know
00:43:03.900 or be able to predict
00:43:05.020 how she's going
00:43:05.920 to react tomorrow.
00:43:06.680 You can estimate,
00:43:07.900 but you will always be.
00:43:08.940 Quantum physics shows us
00:43:09.900 that you can know
00:43:10.660 your wife,
00:43:11.140 you can know your child,
00:43:11.960 you can know your husband,
00:43:13.120 but you'll still be
00:43:14.280 30% inaccurate.
00:43:15.600 If I don't know you
00:43:16.460 at all well,
00:43:17.740 I've only watched you
00:43:18.500 on your interviews,
00:43:19.780 so I'm going to guess,
00:43:21.100 but I'm going to be
00:43:21.600 50% inaccurate.
00:43:22.900 I know my husband very well
00:43:23.940 because I've been married
00:43:24.400 for 32 years.
00:43:25.600 I can guess,
00:43:26.460 but I'm still going to be
00:43:27.260 only 70%
00:43:28.540 in that region accurate.
00:43:30.420 So we thought,
00:43:31.520 the eye factor
00:43:33.040 is this beautiful
00:43:34.200 part of humanity
00:43:35.720 that we need to respect
00:43:37.020 and it can always change.
00:43:38.060 So if someone has done something
00:43:39.380 and they've been doing it
00:43:40.280 for more than 63 days,
00:43:42.340 they have wired a pattern
00:43:43.720 into their brain
00:43:44.360 like a pathway.
00:43:45.160 It looks like a toxic tree.
00:43:46.180 That's why I use this.
00:43:47.220 It's a real protein.
00:43:48.180 It's all computers
00:43:48.860 and those computers
00:43:50.060 have been very,
00:43:50.920 very established.
00:43:52.720 It takes 21 days
00:43:53.720 to build a long-term memory.
00:43:54.740 It takes 63 days minimum
00:43:56.720 to build a habit.
00:43:57.620 Not 21 like we've been told.
00:43:59.120 63.
00:43:59.900 Anything after that,
00:44:00.860 you're going to expert level.
00:44:02.220 So if I have for six years
00:44:04.000 been worrying,
00:44:05.480 I'm an expert warrior.
00:44:06.460 It doesn't mean
00:44:07.020 that's who I am.
00:44:08.140 That's who I've become.
00:44:09.240 So I can unbecome.
00:44:10.880 It's hard work.
00:44:11.880 I'm going to have to do
00:44:12.620 a lot of mind work.
00:44:13.620 I'm going to have to do
00:44:14.040 a lot of mind management
00:44:15.240 to use emotional signals
00:44:17.400 like depression
00:44:18.040 and anxiety
00:44:18.720 and schizophrenia
00:44:19.680 and all that stuff
00:44:20.520 we initially spoke about.
00:44:21.660 I'm going to have to use that
00:44:23.120 to find out
00:44:24.700 what is the cause
00:44:25.780 of why I'm so negative.
00:44:27.040 How did you find out
00:44:28.340 about 63 instead of 21 days?
00:44:30.380 That's memory research.
00:44:31.600 I've written about it
00:44:32.440 also in that book,
00:44:33.120 Think, Learn, Succeed.
00:44:34.260 So it's basically
00:44:34.920 what we see is your brain,
00:44:36.460 your body works
00:44:37.100 in cycles of healing.
00:44:38.840 So if you have a blister,
00:44:40.300 you'll find that it takes,
00:44:41.320 for example,
00:44:41.820 21 days to more or less,
00:44:44.020 it could be 23,
00:44:45.240 it could be 20,
00:44:45.720 it could be 19,
00:44:46.300 but it's in that region
00:44:47.220 we see that it takes
00:44:48.800 cycles of that to heal.
00:44:49.900 Dr. Marion Diamond
00:44:51.320 who died last year
00:44:52.640 at 84,
00:44:53.480 one of the leading researchers
00:44:54.560 in this particular field
00:44:55.760 of memory,
00:44:56.620 she showed how
00:44:57.580 the little branches
00:44:58.680 that are made
00:44:59.400 of millions of computers
00:45:00.500 that hold your memories
00:45:02.680 as vibrations
00:45:03.460 on the tops of the trees
00:45:05.140 that over time
00:45:06.600 the branches change shape
00:45:08.500 and it takes 21 days
00:45:11.200 for the branches
00:45:11.820 to reach a certain shape
00:45:12.980 and when they reach
00:45:13.580 that certain shape
00:45:14.460 they're made of proteins
00:45:15.720 that are what we call
00:45:16.440 self-sustainable.
00:45:17.540 So we see a change
00:45:18.400 in proteins,
00:45:19.220 some proteins
00:45:20.160 are very unstable
00:45:21.040 that only last
00:45:21.740 for 24, 48 hours,
00:45:23.800 some only last 7 days,
00:45:25.000 some 14 days,
00:45:25.940 some 21 days.
00:45:27.060 So we can see
00:45:27.800 that that's the kind
00:45:28.460 of what we're talking about.
00:45:29.520 We can see a change
00:45:30.560 and a progression.
00:45:31.980 Now even a long-term memory
00:45:33.520 can be reconceptualized
00:45:35.880 and that means
00:45:36.860 I'll always remember,
00:45:38.300 so let's say for example
00:45:39.280 someone is the half glass,
00:45:41.880 sees the glass half empty
00:45:44.800 and they've just been in that
00:45:46.300 and it's just like
00:45:47.020 these people just always
00:45:48.220 going to see the negative first.
00:45:49.320 Every business meeting
00:45:50.840 they just always
00:45:51.900 see the negative
00:45:52.480 but that person can change.
00:45:54.640 They very well,
00:45:55.280 they become an expert
00:45:56.100 in being negative
00:45:56.800 but they can actually
00:45:58.260 unwire that.
00:45:59.380 They can get to the point
00:46:00.800 where it's a lot of work.
00:46:02.020 You've got to go through
00:46:02.980 the pain of doing it
00:46:03.900 which people don't want to
00:46:05.060 in this day and age
00:46:05.720 and that's something
00:46:06.220 we should maybe discuss
00:46:07.240 but you can change that
00:46:09.000 and reverse that process.
00:46:10.600 Then one day
00:46:11.220 that guy in your meeting
00:46:12.120 you'll say wow,
00:46:13.020 you actually see...
00:46:13.380 How do you do that?
00:46:13.880 I'm going to show you
00:46:16.080 I'm going to talk
00:46:16.720 about that in a moment
00:46:17.400 so that guy will actually
00:46:18.260 then say hey,
00:46:19.300 now I am...
00:46:21.060 You see something positive
00:46:22.100 so Patrick says
00:46:22.760 to the business employee
00:46:23.680 hey, you're actually
00:46:24.380 seeing this differently
00:46:25.100 what did you do?
00:46:25.880 It's been hard work
00:46:26.580 whatever.
00:46:27.240 What has that person done?
00:46:28.680 That person has seen
00:46:29.840 the response of
00:46:30.920 and I'm just using this
00:46:32.300 because we brought it up first
00:46:33.900 of your colleagues,
00:46:35.700 his colleagues,
00:46:36.340 his boss, etc.
00:46:37.600 getting kind of
00:46:38.400 a little bit put off
00:46:39.480 by the negativity.
00:46:40.660 We all know you're
00:46:41.440 around someone negative
00:46:42.220 it can impact you
00:46:43.100 because they're generating
00:46:43.740 toxic photons
00:46:44.620 and whatever.
00:46:45.960 So by looking at the response
00:46:48.180 and the feedback
00:46:48.980 they make a choice.
00:46:50.560 That's the initial start process.
00:46:52.680 So once I recognize
00:46:53.600 okay, people don't
00:46:54.700 I need to do something.
00:46:55.940 It's either feedback from people
00:46:57.760 or I can't go on like this anymore.
00:46:59.640 I'm burning out stress wise.
00:47:00.960 I'm getting sick
00:47:01.620 because there's a relationship
00:47:02.660 between chronic ongoing inflammation
00:47:04.800 and physical illnesses
00:47:06.620 in your body
00:47:07.100 which I've just done research on now
00:47:08.760 and the mind stuff
00:47:10.320 and how you can change that.
00:47:11.280 So what this person does
00:47:12.940 first is an awareness.
00:47:14.200 It's embracing it
00:47:15.380 either from feedback
00:47:16.440 or from I can't go
00:47:17.680 on like this anymore.
00:47:18.460 So there's some level
00:47:19.300 of awareness.
00:47:20.380 I've got to embrace.
00:47:21.460 Step number one
00:47:22.000 embrace, acknowledge.
00:47:23.080 It's all the same thing.
00:47:24.140 I've got to get to the point
00:47:25.020 where I'm going to do that
00:47:26.440 and in that is the choice
00:47:27.960 okay, I want to change.
00:47:29.260 I don't want to have
00:47:29.880 this feedback anymore.
00:47:30.780 I want to improve my relationship.
00:47:32.340 I don't want to keep 0.95
00:47:33.160 living a life
00:47:33.760 where I'm always worrying
00:47:35.100 or always anxious.
00:47:36.720 It's making me sick
00:47:37.540 which it is
00:47:38.080 which it does.
00:47:39.040 So that's the first step.
00:47:40.880 Embrace, acknowledge
00:47:41.580 and choose.
00:47:42.440 Then you've got to go
00:47:43.220 through a very painful
00:47:44.140 process of processing
00:47:45.900 and that is a process
00:47:48.500 of why do I do this?
00:47:50.800 Why am I always negative?
00:47:52.520 And it's a process,
00:47:54.260 it's an exercise
00:47:55.000 where you literally
00:47:55.880 go through five steps
00:47:57.020 for 30 minutes a day
00:47:58.100 and I always recommend
00:47:59.160 to my patients
00:47:59.880 and my research has shown
00:48:00.920 stick around 30 minutes.
00:48:02.440 45 minutes is pushing it
00:48:04.020 because it's heavy stuff.
00:48:05.500 When you start digging
00:48:06.580 into trauma
00:48:07.240 or dealing with
00:48:08.300 your toxic habits
00:48:09.080 it's very draining.
00:48:11.180 So you've got to limit that.
00:48:12.640 Otherwise the whole day
00:48:13.480 it becomes this big
00:48:14.280 emotional washout
00:48:15.140 and you become very eye focused
00:48:16.440 which is very unhealthy
00:48:17.300 for your heart.
00:48:18.680 The more times you say
00:48:20.180 I, me and mine
00:48:21.900 you're going to increase
00:48:23.860 your chance by 42%
00:48:25.320 of having a cardiovascular event
00:48:26.980 in the next 12 months.
00:48:28.440 So we don't want to
00:48:29.060 turn people into self.
00:48:29.900 Why is that?
00:48:30.960 Because of the
00:48:31.660 I, me and mine.
00:48:33.000 Pressure's all on you.
00:48:33.800 It's on me.
00:48:34.560 You're putting it inside.
00:48:35.540 You're focusing on yourself.
00:48:36.860 You go around in circles.
00:48:38.180 You don't get perspective
00:48:39.020 and you've got to have
00:48:39.900 interaction with others.
00:48:40.980 You've got to have
00:48:41.320 deep meaningful relationships.
00:48:42.840 So the more self-focused
00:48:44.580 you become
00:48:45.100 the more your heart
00:48:45.740 becomes strained.
00:48:46.960 Your blood vessels
00:48:47.580 start going
00:48:48.140 your body goes
00:48:48.740 into toxic stress.
00:48:50.300 Your blood vessels
00:48:50.840 around your heart
00:48:51.440 constrict.
00:48:52.520 You reduce oxygen
00:48:53.500 and blood flow
00:48:54.040 to your brain
00:48:54.560 and you set yourself
00:48:55.180 up for cardiovascular.
00:48:56.560 So the more you
00:48:57.180 I, me, mine, myself
00:48:58.260 or I, I, I
00:48:59.340 isolation, individualism
00:49:00.740 the more you're going to die
00:49:02.240 which is what we see.
00:49:03.160 In this day and age
00:49:04.400 we see an increase
00:49:05.180 in cardiovascular events
00:49:06.260 in the United States
00:49:07.220 in UK
00:49:08.220 in developed countries
00:49:09.780 that have an individualistic focus.
00:49:12.420 We see way less
00:49:13.440 in countries
00:49:14.120 that have a community focus
00:49:15.380 like Japan 0.52
00:49:16.060 and you know
00:49:16.860 the various different countries
00:49:18.760 that have more
00:49:19.560 of a community focus.
00:49:20.820 This country
00:49:21.680 is the most individualized
00:49:23.340 one of the most
00:49:24.060 individualized countries
00:49:25.080 or you saw
00:49:26.060 the loneliest in the world
00:49:27.120 and we have one
00:49:28.180 of the highest rates
00:49:29.060 of people dying
00:49:29.740 from isolation
00:49:30.540 cardiovascular disease
00:49:32.160 etc.
00:49:32.780 annually
00:49:33.100 and I mean
00:49:34.160 this is becoming
00:49:34.740 a problem
00:49:35.180 in as much
00:49:36.700 of a problem
00:49:37.060 as the UK
00:49:37.620 Australia
00:49:38.740 the developed countries.
00:49:40.300 We see more and more
00:49:41.060 where we see more community
00:49:42.380 like in Africa 0.86
00:49:43.140 Cambodia
00:49:43.760 we see less and less
00:49:45.680 of that.
00:49:46.300 We see people dying
00:49:46.940 from malnutrition
00:49:47.720 and hygiene
00:49:48.840 and that kind of stuff
00:49:50.280 but we don't see them dying
00:49:51.700 because they're lonely.
00:49:53.240 This country
00:49:53.680 people are nutritious
00:49:54.480 they're healthy
00:49:55.940 they're well fed
00:49:56.820 they are successful
00:49:58.400 Kate Spade
00:49:59.120 they are beautiful 0.69
00:50:00.660 and they're committing suicide 0.99
00:50:02.700 you know what I'm saying
00:50:04.260 so we've got a problem there.
00:50:06.360 So coming back
00:50:07.060 to the question
00:50:07.880 you asked me
00:50:08.340 how someone changes
00:50:09.120 we've got to do the same thing.
00:50:10.720 What's the five steps?
00:50:11.640 So the five steps
00:50:12.440 first of all
00:50:12.880 is gather.
00:50:14.080 Gather?
00:50:14.660 Gather
00:50:14.880 that's a big word
00:50:15.820 for embrace
00:50:16.460 acknowledge.
00:50:18.280 Embrace
00:50:18.720 that you have an issue
00:50:20.140 step up
00:50:20.580 kind of like
00:50:21.220 your first acceptance
00:50:22.920 that there's an issue
00:50:23.460 You've got to accept
00:50:24.240 there's an issue
00:50:24.800 What's the second one?
00:50:25.560 Second one
00:50:26.200 is you've got to reflect
00:50:27.280 it's a deep reflection
00:50:28.560 it's a process
00:50:29.220 this is the most painful part
00:50:30.540 it's like a surgeon
00:50:31.880 will say
00:50:32.240 my friends
00:50:32.660 I've got a lot of doctor friends
00:50:33.600 and they'll say
00:50:34.620 that they've got to
00:50:35.140 first cut up the patient
00:50:36.180 to heal them
00:50:37.020 so you've got to go
00:50:37.500 through the pain
00:50:38.020 before
00:50:38.380 got to hurt you 0.52
00:50:39.040 to heal you
00:50:39.580 so that's the very
00:50:40.740 it's this whole process
00:50:41.760 is hard
00:50:42.740 I'm not lying
00:50:43.960 but it's good
00:50:45.000 and it takes time
00:50:46.240 it's going to take
00:50:47.140 cycles of 21 days
00:50:48.220 so the second process
00:50:49.760 is deep reflection
00:50:50.620 where you are basically
00:50:51.660 trying to track
00:50:52.620 back to
00:50:53.820 not necessarily back
00:50:55.780 but why am I doing this?
00:50:57.400 Are you studying your trends?
00:50:59.040 You're looking at your trends
00:50:59.980 your patterns
00:51:00.600 so the first thing
00:51:01.900 is to start
00:51:02.480 is to take
00:51:03.100 okay I'm depressed
00:51:04.220 this is an emotional
00:51:05.040 warning signal
00:51:05.720 my body's got
00:51:06.460 physical warning signals
00:51:07.480 so you're embracing
00:51:08.680 the emotional
00:51:09.380 and physical warning signals
00:51:10.560 from the environment
00:51:11.680 and from yourself
00:51:12.440 you're then thinking
00:51:13.820 about these
00:51:14.440 okay so why am I always
00:51:15.800 negative
00:51:16.780 why am I always depressed
00:51:18.300 why am I anxious
00:51:19.040 and as you go through
00:51:20.400 that process
00:51:21.100 of self-reflection
00:51:22.200 you're getting to the point
00:51:23.740 where you're not
00:51:24.220 where you're just trying
00:51:24.940 to find
00:51:25.280 get to
00:51:26.080 it's day
00:51:26.860 every day it's a little bit
00:51:27.840 to the point where you find
00:51:28.940 okay well maybe
00:51:29.780 this is at the end of 21 days
00:51:31.320 you see oh I'm anxious
00:51:32.700 because I'm actually
00:51:33.740 trying to be a perfectionist
00:51:35.120 I'm trying to control
00:51:35.900 everything in my environment
00:51:37.140 and it's not quite working out
00:51:39.280 or maybe it's because
00:51:40.260 there's a trauma
00:51:40.900 that you've never dealt with
00:51:42.040 you've kept yourself
00:51:43.040 so busy trying to suppress
00:51:44.240 the trauma
00:51:44.680 that it's actually made you
00:51:45.640 whatever
00:51:46.380 it's going to be different
00:51:47.460 for everyone
00:51:47.720 there's no pattern
00:51:48.460 there's no link
00:51:49.740 between if I've had
00:51:51.500 sexual trauma
00:51:52.240 and heart disease
00:51:53.480 or something
00:51:53.880 people have tried to do that
00:51:55.020 they've tried to show that
00:51:55.900 if you've got a gallbladder issue
00:51:57.400 it's anger
00:51:57.800 this is just not science
00:51:59.080 at all
00:51:59.420 this is just guessing games
00:52:00.540 because someone who's angry
00:52:01.620 could have gallbladder issues
00:52:02.600 and they could have
00:52:03.140 a cardiovascular issue
00:52:04.040 it's different for each person
00:52:06.140 it's so
00:52:07.220 our genome is unique
00:52:08.540 our eye factor is unique
00:52:10.420 gather
00:52:10.980 then you have reflect pain
00:52:12.860 then the third thing
00:52:14.180 is we've got to
00:52:14.900 genetically process
00:52:15.760 so what we've got to do
00:52:16.580 is we've got to make our brain
00:52:17.380 do stuff
00:52:17.700 we've got to write
00:52:18.340 the third process is write
00:52:20.080 when you write
00:52:20.740 you're clearing out
00:52:21.760 a lot of
00:52:23.300 and when I say write
00:52:24.960 it's like literally
00:52:25.940 throw it on the page
00:52:27.320 because you'll see
00:52:28.160 my sequence that I've developed
00:52:29.600 you literally spend
00:52:30.620 a minute and a half
00:52:31.500 to two minutes
00:52:32.200 doing each of these
00:52:32.900 so you would gather
00:52:33.460 for a minute and a half
00:52:34.480 you would reflect
00:52:36.020 for a minute and a half
00:52:37.040 you would write
00:52:37.940 for a minute and a half
00:52:38.980 a little bit longer
00:52:40.120 if you want to
00:52:40.740 and then you would recheck
00:52:43.560 now recheck is a process
00:52:45.480 where you go back
00:52:46.320 and look for your patterns
00:52:47.140 your triggers
00:52:47.680 your what does this mean
00:52:50.040 so if you think of it
00:52:51.120 I've become aware
00:52:51.860 of something going on
00:52:52.800 negative half glass
00:52:54.600 worry anxiety
00:52:55.940 whatever
00:52:56.240 I am reflecting
00:52:57.820 why am I feeling
00:52:58.660 I'm starting to get to the root
00:52:59.980 because it's only a minute and a half
00:53:00.980 and you must move on
00:53:01.800 you're writing that down
00:53:03.040 so maybe a bunch of jumble
00:53:04.280 that you write down
00:53:05.000 your recheck looks at your jumble
00:53:06.620 and tries to get some level of order
00:53:08.100 then you go to
00:53:10.380 as you get that level of order
00:53:12.140 you say
00:53:12.360 okay what's my little tiny task for today
00:53:14.940 and it may be as simple as
00:53:16.940 when I feel this anxiety coming on
00:53:19.880 I'm going to compartmentalize it
00:53:22.420 and I'm going to only worry about it
00:53:23.700 tonight at six o'clock
00:53:24.960 it could be a simple statement like that
00:53:27.040 that's still on number four
00:53:27.920 that's number four leading to number five
00:53:30.480 so number four is recheck
00:53:31.400 so I see that I'm always worrying
00:53:32.500 in certain situations
00:53:33.340 but in a minute and a half
00:53:34.720 there's only a little bit of information
00:53:36.000 you've gathered
00:53:36.460 which is the point
00:53:37.220 you must only get a bit every day
00:53:38.900 not everything every day
00:53:40.320 we can't solve it all
00:53:41.240 Rome was not built in a day
00:53:42.460 it's little things change over time
00:53:44.700 we try and fix it quick
00:53:45.820 you can't get there
00:53:46.580 it's a process
00:53:47.440 you have to dig it out of your non-conscious
00:53:48.860 it's a deep investigative
00:53:50.900 detective process that you're doing
00:53:52.900 so let's say now that you start seeing
00:53:54.980 okay I'm worrying because of this
00:53:56.120 or I'm negative
00:53:56.580 and I'm starting to get a glimpse of
00:53:58.360 well maybe it could be this
00:53:59.960 or maybe
00:54:00.360 so what can I do today
00:54:01.820 as a little activity
00:54:03.340 active reach
00:54:04.240 activity
00:54:04.980 active reach
00:54:06.020 and active reach
00:54:07.420 is then if I see that
00:54:09.140 let's take the worrying thing
00:54:10.280 I just
00:54:11.180 I wake up and I'm worrying
00:54:12.580 that's like the day
00:54:13.800 I'm stuck
00:54:14.380 so I say okay
00:54:15.560 I'm aware that I'm worrying
00:54:16.800 all I've worked out today
00:54:18.260 it's day one
00:54:19.040 I've just worked out
00:54:19.740 that I actually never stop worrying
00:54:21.480 so cool
00:54:22.540 what's my active reach
00:54:23.480 as I worry
00:54:25.040 as that hits me in the face
00:54:26.860 I'm going to say
00:54:27.420 okay this worry
00:54:28.280 I can't deal with now
00:54:29.540 I'm going to deal with tonight
00:54:31.300 so now
00:54:32.460 it's six o'clock in the morning
00:54:33.600 I'll deal with it
00:54:34.080 six o'clock tonight
00:54:34.820 as you go through the day
00:54:35.980 prioritizing your worries
00:54:36.500 it is that
00:54:37.320 but also what happens
00:54:38.140 is you take the energy
00:54:38.920 away from the worry
00:54:39.660 now you must remember
00:54:40.780 that well I haven't even
00:54:41.820 told you this much clearly
00:54:43.200 but every thought you build
00:54:44.540 is a real living thing
00:54:46.640 it has energy
00:54:47.840 it's firing energy
00:54:48.820 so if I take this worry
00:54:51.300 toxic
00:54:51.720 and I say
00:54:52.640 okay keep quiet 1.00
00:54:53.580 you're in a box
00:54:54.140 I'm not going to deal with you
00:54:54.900 and you've disciplined yourself
00:54:55.800 not to think about it
00:54:56.680 and by the time
00:54:57.660 six o'clock tonight
00:54:58.340 comes twelve hours later
00:54:59.360 that thing's lost energy
00:55:00.580 most likely that worry
00:55:02.900 that's so powerful
00:55:03.200 what you just said right there
00:55:04.140 because
00:55:06.100 I talk about this
00:55:08.880 with a lot of guys
00:55:10.200 where
00:55:10.580 you know
00:55:11.520 your brain automatically
00:55:13.620 is going to a problem
00:55:14.300 I can't believe
00:55:14.740 this person said this
00:55:15.980 I can't believe
00:55:16.400 we're facing this
00:55:17.040 oh my gosh
00:55:17.600 look what's going on
00:55:18.200 this is going to be
00:55:18.680 so much bigger
00:55:19.400 you know
00:55:20.180 this is terrible
00:55:20.960 set it aside
00:55:22.220 six hours later
00:55:23.100 don't give it any weight
00:55:24.000 don't give it any power
00:55:24.940 six hours later
00:55:25.600 you're not even thinking about it
00:55:26.480 okay so there's the science
00:55:27.300 behind it
00:55:27.820 so the science is that
00:55:28.940 whatever you don't think about
00:55:30.180 grows
00:55:30.520 so that worry
00:55:31.120 and also worry
00:55:31.680 whatever you don't think about
00:55:32.740 whatever you don't think
00:55:33.900 won't grow
00:55:34.320 whatever you think about
00:55:35.580 grows
00:55:35.880 so these things feed on energy
00:55:37.760 so if I keep thinking about that
00:55:39.640 all day long
00:55:40.220 I'm getting myself in a toxic mess
00:55:41.720 you get stuck
00:55:42.380 that's why we have to deal with trauma
00:55:43.980 we have to deal with our habits
00:55:45.000 because they keep us stuck
00:55:46.140 we've got to get them out
00:55:47.600 and change them
00:55:48.700 so if I put that
00:55:49.540 by the end of the evening
00:55:50.340 this thing is lost worry
00:55:51.320 or even tomorrow
00:55:51.980 or once a week
00:55:53.680 you can have your little worry
00:55:54.740 Mac always talks about
00:55:56.180 having a little
00:55:56.660 my husband
00:55:57.120 he has like
00:55:58.060 he's in his mind
00:55:59.220 mentally there's a little worry book
00:56:00.440 and Thursday afternoon
00:56:01.260 at four o'clock worry book time
00:56:02.600 everything goes in that book
00:56:04.180 he allows himself
00:56:04.720 one day a week
00:56:05.360 to worry about it
00:56:06.140 and by the time he gets there
00:56:07.400 it doesn't happen anymore
00:56:08.320 now what's happening scientifically
00:56:09.860 is that research shows
00:56:11.000 that 95% of our worries
00:56:12.900 don't materialize anyway
00:56:14.340 so by the time we get there
00:56:15.960 in the afternoon
00:56:16.640 or next week
00:56:17.260 or whenever it is
00:56:17.900 that you decide to worry
00:56:18.900 you actually
00:56:19.900 it's lost its power
00:56:20.860 over you
00:56:21.740 and so that's just a little technique
00:56:23.620 and that's typical of an active reach
00:56:25.200 now what I did with my patients
00:56:26.740 is I developed this technique
00:56:27.800 it's been clinically tested
00:56:28.900 scientifically researched
00:56:30.020 clinically applied
00:56:30.900 was put it in my materials
00:56:32.500 but we've just released
00:56:33.480 an app now where
00:56:34.420 I've put this
00:56:35.320 because people have been asking me
00:56:36.340 for years
00:56:36.720 I don't do therapy anymore
00:56:37.820 I don't have time
00:56:38.440 I teach this around the world
00:56:39.540 so now I've put all of this
00:56:40.800 into a mobile app
00:56:42.340 so on your phone
00:56:43.200 you know mobile application
00:56:44.060 so it's literally therapy
00:56:45.520 what's the app called
00:56:46.220 called switch
00:56:47.140 switch
00:56:47.820 switch
00:56:48.380 switch
00:56:48.940 switch your mind
00:56:49.880 we're going to put the link below
00:56:50.840 if you're watching this
00:56:52.040 we're going to put the link below
00:56:52.820 for the app
00:56:53.340 so you can go download it
00:56:54.340 and test it for yourself
00:56:55.500 so switch
00:56:56.300 switch
00:56:56.780 it's called iTunes
00:56:57.640 Google Play
00:56:58.140 all of it
00:56:58.480 and that basically walks you
00:56:59.880 through these five steps
00:57:00.660 all audio driven
00:57:01.440 and then I have little things on there
00:57:02.620 like if you're having a panic attack
00:57:03.780 like maybe you're about to go
00:57:04.860 in a meeting
00:57:05.280 you can press play
00:57:06.460 and there'll be a guided meditation
00:57:08.440 let's talk about that
00:57:09.680 yeah
00:57:09.980 they're going to get the app
00:57:10.920 our guys will download the app
00:57:11.800 let's talk about that
00:57:12.760 so next thing
00:57:14.180 so for me
00:57:14.900 a few things that
00:57:17.560 you see a lot
00:57:18.660 that's coming up recently
00:57:19.840 is all the medication
00:57:21.820 that we're being asked to take
00:57:23.420 right
00:57:23.700 I have kids
00:57:24.380 and I'll let you know
00:57:25.740 how the meeting goes
00:57:26.480 you know
00:57:26.900 your son doesn't really
00:57:28.920 pay attention in the class
00:57:30.280 and he kind of struggles with
00:57:31.680 you know
00:57:32.560 being a present
00:57:33.580 and he's always
00:57:34.400 dozing off
00:57:35.160 and he's going different places
00:57:36.060 and I say
00:57:36.380 yeah that's my son
00:57:37.300 he reminds me a little bit of myself
00:57:38.680 when I was that age
00:57:39.360 so
00:57:40.100 from your perspective
00:57:42.260 whether we're dealing with
00:57:43.400 bipolar
00:57:44.020 ADHD
00:57:44.900 depression
00:57:45.860 panic
00:57:46.520 how much of that
00:57:48.340 is part of our perception
00:57:50.880 which is how we're born
00:57:52.440 I'm born being bipolar
00:57:54.200 I'm born having ADHD
00:57:56.480 how much of it is
00:57:58.520 imagination
00:57:59.660 I think I have this
00:58:01.340 how much of it is
00:58:02.360 somebody else imposing
00:58:03.280 that belief on you
00:58:04.200 and how much of it is real
00:58:05.020 what would you say
00:58:06.180 much so
00:58:06.460 excellent question
00:58:07.060 okay so now we're dealing
00:58:07.940 with something called
00:58:08.680 that falls in the realm
00:58:09.580 of mental illness
00:58:10.360 and it's a complete misnomer
00:58:12.200 because we're told
00:58:13.040 that mental illness 0.99
00:58:13.760 number one
00:58:14.300 to answer your question
00:58:15.000 is on the rise
00:58:15.900 and that we've got
00:58:17.160 more and more kids
00:58:17.780 that need to be identified
00:58:18.800 with all these
00:58:19.640 these bipolar
00:58:21.040 etc etc
00:58:21.680 but actually mental illness
00:58:23.220 is not on the rise
00:58:24.160 what's happened
00:58:25.000 is we have mismanagement
00:58:26.360 of mind
00:58:27.200 that has created
00:58:28.020 a whole new problem
00:58:29.040 so what we have
00:58:30.280 an issue here
00:58:31.260 is that mental illness
00:58:32.020 doesn't actually exist
00:58:33.440 now hear me carefully
00:58:34.540 I'm not saying that
00:58:35.660 depression isn't real
00:58:37.180 I am saying
00:58:37.800 it's incredibly real
00:58:39.000 schizophrenia
00:58:40.120 psychotic breaks
00:58:41.160 bipolar
00:58:41.740 these things are very real
00:58:43.540 but they're not illnesses
00:58:44.740 they're not physical
00:58:46.400 illnesses in your brain
00:58:47.480 you don't have bipolar 0.78
00:58:48.500 waiting to jump out
00:58:49.560 and ADHD waiting
00:58:50.960 to jump out
00:58:51.780 and which is where
00:58:52.940 the neurobiological
00:58:53.920 or neuro reductionistic
00:58:55.180 biomedical
00:58:55.920 neuropsychiatric model
00:58:57.400 which is all these names
00:58:58.840 for the same thing
00:58:59.540 are going
00:59:00.180 what the truth is
00:59:01.600 is that you're 99% mind
00:59:03.360 we have to deal
00:59:05.100 with that 99% mind
00:59:06.940 which is how you
00:59:08.000 are dealing with
00:59:08.700 what you're going
00:59:09.220 through in life
00:59:09.980 as its own
00:59:11.520 separate category
00:59:12.420 when we talk about
00:59:13.880 the physical brain
00:59:15.100 and body
00:59:15.580 we can test
00:59:16.820 if you've got
00:59:17.180 cardiovascular disease
00:59:18.240 if you've got diabetes
00:59:19.140 if you've got a traumatic
00:59:20.180 brain injury
00:59:20.720 in a car accident
00:59:22.040 and we see
00:59:22.520 if you've got tumours
00:59:23.460 in your brain
00:59:23.960 if you've got liver disease
00:59:24.880 if you've got fatty liver disease
00:59:25.980 whatever
00:59:26.220 we can do
00:59:27.860 biological tests
00:59:29.360 where we can blood test
00:59:30.460 we can do various
00:59:31.140 different tests
00:59:32.000 to identify
00:59:32.820 and treat
00:59:33.560 it works
00:59:34.420 that's called
00:59:34.860 the biomedical model
00:59:35.940 and it works
00:59:36.820 for the physical brain
00:59:37.720 and body
00:59:38.080 it's excellent
00:59:38.920 however
00:59:39.780 in this
00:59:40.260 about 60 years ago
00:59:41.840 and it really hit
00:59:43.140 in the 80s
00:59:43.840 that whole category
00:59:45.640 got blended
00:59:46.260 and people's mind issues
00:59:48.760 stopped being called
00:59:50.720 mind issues
00:59:51.600 and started being called
00:59:52.520 illnesses
00:59:53.160 against many scientists
00:59:55.680 and being anti that
00:59:58.200 but a movement began
00:59:59.780 because it's not accurate
01:00:00.980 because you can't
01:00:02.140 cause something
01:00:02.740 why does something
01:00:03.260 why did it go from
01:00:04.960 you know
01:00:05.900 illness
01:00:06.920 is it because
01:00:07.520 the business part
01:00:08.220 and the medication
01:00:08.760 is a big part
01:00:09.300 business part
01:00:09.780 so in the mid
01:00:10.480 so in the 50s
01:00:12.140 Thorazine was the first
01:00:13.260 psychotropic
01:00:14.440 to be developed
01:00:15.220 what was that
01:00:15.820 Thorazine
01:00:16.400 other name is
01:00:17.880 chlorpramazine
01:00:18.600 so that is an
01:00:19.580 antipsychotic
01:00:20.200 it's called an antipsychotic
01:00:21.360 misnamed an antipsychotic
01:00:22.780 it's an anesthetic
01:00:24.420 so what it did
01:00:25.420 was it calmed people down
01:00:26.500 so what we had
01:00:27.340 in the 50s
01:00:28.140 more or less
01:00:28.660 this first drug
01:00:29.780 came out
01:00:30.200 it was used
01:00:31.000 people with mind issues
01:00:32.360 have always been badly
01:00:33.100 handled
01:00:33.380 there's a historic
01:00:34.280 we've just done
01:00:35.500 bad job
01:00:36.020 there's been pockets
01:00:37.080 of good things
01:00:37.720 that have been done
01:00:38.240 in between
01:00:38.620 but in general
01:00:39.160 people's mind issues
01:00:40.000 have not been handled well
01:00:41.200 but in the 50s
01:00:43.940 this drug was developed
01:00:45.000 and they took
01:00:46.340 they gave
01:00:46.760 they actually gave it
01:00:47.400 by mistake
01:00:47.900 to some patients
01:00:49.460 in a mental asylum
01:00:50.320 and they seemed
01:00:51.120 to calm down
01:00:51.720 and they became
01:00:52.200 more manageable
01:00:52.720 and so gave birth
01:00:54.060 to the psychiatric
01:00:55.380 drug industry
01:00:56.260 and by the mid 80s
01:00:57.960 we had Prozac
01:00:58.800 then we had
01:00:59.820 the second generation
01:01:00.540 drug
01:01:00.860 but before we know it
01:01:01.720 we had antipsychotics
01:01:02.720 antidepressants
01:01:03.660 anti-anxiety meds
01:01:05.100 the famous Librium
01:01:06.860 and Xanax
01:01:07.700 and these things
01:01:08.600 that are now
01:01:09.140 household names
01:01:10.120 and every second person
01:01:11.280 is on some sort of drug
01:01:12.440 so what we have
01:01:13.500 is an industry
01:01:14.480 that was given birth
01:01:15.360 to called the
01:01:16.060 psychotropic drug industry
01:01:18.220 and it was basically
01:01:20.540 very financially driven
01:01:22.100 and I mean
01:01:22.580 everything I say
01:01:23.620 I can back up scientifically
01:01:24.620 and there's
01:01:25.380 hundreds of scientists
01:01:26.180 thousands actually
01:01:26.920 and you'll find references
01:01:28.520 in all my work
01:01:29.200 so essentially
01:01:29.920 what we have
01:01:30.560 is an industry
01:01:31.920 that says
01:01:32.640 okay
01:01:33.380 if you're feeling
01:01:34.460 sad, depressed
01:01:35.380 up and down
01:01:36.320 psychotic breaks
01:01:37.340 can't cope
01:01:38.020 etc
01:01:38.360 you are ill
01:01:39.660 so therefore
01:01:41.220 you need a drug
01:01:42.920 because if you're ill
01:01:44.020 like you have
01:01:44.740 cardiovascular
01:01:45.120 you need a drug
01:01:46.340 so they had a theory
01:01:48.360 a guy a few years ago
01:01:50.200 just after
01:01:50.820 clopramazine
01:01:51.420 or whatever
01:01:51.720 he said
01:01:52.080 well maybe
01:01:52.700 it's a chemical
01:01:53.380 imbalance in the brain
01:01:54.900 and so the hunt
01:01:56.000 began to see
01:01:57.080 ah it's in the brain
01:01:58.380 and it became
01:01:59.500 a whole thing
01:02:00.640 where you've got
01:02:02.160 to find a neurobiological
01:02:03.740 correlate
01:02:04.300 for the disease
01:02:06.020 so they then
01:02:07.060 shifted everything
01:02:08.180 from you as a human
01:02:09.880 in life
01:02:10.480 going through the scenarios
01:02:11.600 that we spoke about
01:02:12.300 in the beginning
01:02:12.800 going through
01:02:13.220 whatever scenario
01:02:13.800 going to war 0.71
01:02:14.440 going to whatever
01:02:15.120 everything life
01:02:16.220 the human condition
01:02:17.240 people in life
01:02:18.200 that was taken
01:02:19.700 out of the equation
01:02:20.560 you
01:02:21.360 your eye factor
01:02:22.380 your experience
01:02:23.200 your narrative
01:02:23.760 your story
01:02:24.300 your context
01:02:24.840 your life
01:02:25.160 taken away
01:02:26.040 and you were seen
01:02:27.380 and if you were sad
01:02:28.120 or depressed
01:02:28.780 for longer than two weeks
01:02:29.880 because you've just
01:02:30.340 lost someone
01:02:30.760 or whatever
01:02:31.000 your story
01:02:32.640 that didn't count
01:02:33.400 what counts
01:02:34.000 is that you're feeling sad
01:02:35.320 according to the
01:02:36.040 diagnostic and statistical manual
01:02:37.580 which is not at all
01:02:38.800 statistic or scientific
01:02:39.820 I know the people
01:02:40.920 involved in the development
01:02:42.120 I know a lot about the DSM
01:02:43.540 and it's not a scientific manual
01:02:45.440 it's good for firewood
01:02:46.420 and that's about it
01:02:47.240 you really mean that
01:02:48.300 you really believe that
01:02:48.680 I totally mean it
01:02:49.420 not even believe it
01:02:50.260 good for firewood
01:02:51.220 it's good for firewood
01:02:51.920 doorstop firewood
01:02:52.760 but definitely not to label
01:02:54.000 and limit people
01:02:54.760 because what we're doing there
01:02:56.520 is we're taking
01:02:57.220 the concept of
01:02:58.560 if you have fatty liver disease
01:02:59.740 we've got a diagnostic category
01:03:01.040 we can fix it
01:03:01.900 we can
01:03:02.180 they've tried to do that
01:03:03.320 with mind
01:03:03.780 now let me ask you this
01:03:04.800 if you have just lost your wife
01:03:07.460 I'll give you a classic example
01:03:09.140 I was in teaching
01:03:10.320 in the St. Thomas Islands
01:03:11.200 just recently
01:03:11.840 I do a lot of mental health conferences
01:03:13.700 all over the world
01:03:14.560 and this woman came up to me 1.00
01:03:16.860 after me teaching on mind
01:03:18.080 and brain
01:03:18.400 all the stuff that I teach on
01:03:19.400 and she had just lost her husband
01:03:21.560 in the previous hurricane
01:03:22.820 in 2017
01:03:23.640 her husband's head was severed
01:03:25.900 literally in front of her
01:03:26.880 from the hurricane
01:03:27.680 breaking
01:03:28.120 hitting whatever
01:03:29.640 through whatever building
01:03:30.700 I don't know the exact details
01:03:31.980 all I know is that she was there
01:03:33.260 and she lost her husband
01:03:34.480 she's a young young mom
01:03:35.460 you can imagine the trauma
01:03:37.240 you never get over that
01:03:38.300 number one
01:03:38.800 that trauma
01:03:39.280 you never get over
01:03:40.000 and let me say that
01:03:40.600 you don't get over trauma
01:03:41.820 you don't get over grief
01:03:43.460 you get through it
01:03:44.800 so you don't get over it
01:03:46.100 you don't get through it
01:03:46.580 you learn how to move forward
01:03:47.980 through it
01:03:48.660 and we shouldn't take that away
01:03:50.300 because that is her story
01:03:51.500 this woman came up to me 1.00
01:03:52.920 after the session
01:03:53.760 and she said
01:03:54.840 Dr. Veef I want to tell you
01:03:55.640 and she was smiling
01:03:56.340 I'm thinking this is some great story
01:03:57.520 she's going to
01:03:57.920 and she proceeded to tell me the story
01:03:59.540 instead she was sent to a doctor
01:04:02.000 after this
01:04:02.660 because she was obviously
01:04:03.460 I mean I wouldn't
01:04:04.480 how do you cope
01:04:05.200 with something like that
01:04:06.140 the doctor said
01:04:07.180 you've got bipolar
01:04:07.960 you've got a clinically
01:04:09.440 you're clinically
01:04:10.320 not bipolar
01:04:11.140 you're clinically depressed
01:04:12.140 you need an antidepressant
01:04:13.300 she said
01:04:13.640 I am not clinically depressed
01:04:15.020 I do not have an illness
01:04:16.060 I have just lost my husband
01:04:17.920 her pastor of her church
01:04:19.960 whatever gave her
01:04:20.860 one of my books
01:04:21.460 which was I mean
01:04:22.300 this is the story she told me
01:04:23.440 and she said she decided
01:04:24.620 to start doing that five steps
01:04:25.920 that I've just done
01:04:26.520 and she processed
01:04:27.700 and went through
01:04:28.380 and experienced her grief
01:04:29.700 she cried
01:04:30.860 she screamed 1.00
01:04:31.460 she shouted 0.97
01:04:31.940 she saw
01:04:32.400 you have to freak out
01:04:34.120 in that zone
01:04:34.920 you have to get
01:04:35.540 once you acknowledge
01:04:36.460 I'm in grief
01:04:37.240 this is my story
01:04:38.480 I'm not going to
01:04:39.520 this is not an illness
01:04:40.660 that's an insult
01:04:41.900 to tell someone
01:04:42.940 who has been through war
01:04:44.200 or grief
01:04:44.840 or a child who's bullied
01:04:46.220 or a child who's battling
01:04:47.360 to learn
01:04:47.860 who needs to just be helped
01:04:48.920 to learn
01:04:49.480 or maybe who's not given
01:04:50.600 a decent diet
01:04:51.340 or who's been bullied
01:04:52.000 at school
01:04:52.440 and who's having
01:04:53.180 an emotional reaction
01:04:54.060 is it fair to tell that person
01:04:55.880 here's a label
01:04:56.900 you have ADHD
01:04:57.920 ADHD is not even
01:04:58.980 a scientific category
01:04:59.880 I've worked in learning disabilities
01:05:01.400 for 25 years in my practice
01:05:03.260 and done research in this area
01:05:04.560 2 to 17% of people
01:05:07.460 have a learning disability
01:05:08.720 from a birth trauma
01:05:09.700 or something going on
01:05:10.740 in the womb
01:05:11.260 or some kind of head injury
01:05:12.460 we have a 70 to 77%
01:05:15.160 plus going up
01:05:16.460 referral rate
01:05:17.400 for people with ADD
01:05:18.320 every second person
01:05:19.300 has got ADHD
01:05:19.920 including adults
01:05:21.040 it's not even a real thing
01:05:22.260 what we have
01:05:23.400 is a society
01:05:24.280 that's very busy
01:05:25.480 we're designed
01:05:26.420 to do busy well
01:05:27.340 but people aren't managing
01:05:28.560 technology
01:05:29.220 we're not managing our mind
01:05:30.280 we have been told
01:05:31.480 as a society
01:05:32.180 which is where we started
01:05:33.000 this discussion
01:05:33.680 literally at the beginning
01:05:34.880 we've been told
01:05:35.980 as a society
01:05:36.820 that you are your brain
01:05:39.200 your brain
01:05:40.280 is controlling you
01:05:41.500 so therefore 0.97
01:05:42.220 bipolar is in your brain 1.00
01:05:43.800 and you are now ill 1.00
01:05:44.960 you don't believe that
01:05:45.600 not at all
01:05:46.180 bipolar is going to move
01:05:47.520 through your brain 0.99
01:05:48.160 so now this woman 0.52
01:05:48.860 has grief
01:05:49.400 she's seen her husband's head
01:05:51.140 sliced off
01:05:52.080 she's in terrible trauma
01:05:53.660 from that
01:05:54.200 and from the fact
01:05:54.980 that she's lost her husband
01:05:55.800 that experience
01:05:57.020 went through her brain
01:05:57.880 so obviously
01:05:58.620 there's a toxic thought
01:05:59.580 in her brain
01:06:00.080 that's a toxic experience
01:06:01.540 that is a trauma
01:06:02.260 it's an involuntary trauma
01:06:03.340 because as a human
01:06:04.280 everything you process
01:06:05.920 goes in your brain
01:06:07.180 it becomes a structure
01:06:08.520 you change your brain
01:06:09.360 you are always growing
01:06:10.280 your brain
01:06:10.620 that's neuroplasticity
01:06:11.760 your brain structure
01:06:12.940 is changing
01:06:13.340 every moment of every day
01:06:14.460 so of course
01:06:15.340 she had that
01:06:15.920 of course her heart
01:06:17.160 was affected
01:06:17.940 she nearly died
01:06:18.800 from cardiovascular issues
01:06:21.520 because of the fact
01:06:22.660 that your heart
01:06:23.260 is impacted
01:06:23.900 so in other words
01:06:24.820 your brain and body
01:06:25.460 of course they're going to respond
01:06:26.700 of course you're going to have physical
01:06:28.280 of course you need a medical doctor
01:06:30.000 to help monitor
01:06:31.100 I had a lady the other day 1.00
01:06:32.480 at a conference I did
01:06:33.400 she's wearing a heart monitor
01:06:34.620 she just lost her husband
01:06:35.600 she's not coping
01:06:36.540 she's really battling
01:06:37.800 she's had a couple of
01:06:39.540 almost heart attacks
01:06:40.920 so now she walks around
01:06:41.900 so yes your brain and body
01:06:43.680 will respond
01:06:44.280 so we will see the effects
01:06:45.700 of trauma
01:06:46.860 in your brain
01:06:47.460 and some people
01:06:48.580 will be in mood swings
01:06:50.120 some people
01:06:50.980 it will be complete withdrawal
01:06:52.260 but depression
01:06:53.520 bipolar anxiety
01:06:54.740 these are so real
01:06:56.100 they're the 99%
01:06:57.460 we need to give them
01:06:58.300 more attention
01:06:59.080 so are you saying
01:07:00.240 if I don't have
01:07:01.280 if John doesn't
01:07:03.060 have any symptoms
01:07:04.740 of bipolar
01:07:06.160 a traumatic
01:07:07.720 a traumatic experience
01:07:09.060 to him
01:07:09.760 could give him
01:07:10.620 symptoms
01:07:11.080 of what a doctor
01:07:12.060 could consider him
01:07:12.960 not having bipolar
01:07:13.780 him not being bipolar
01:07:14.880 well basically
01:07:15.720 there's certain questions
01:07:16.900 that are asked
01:07:17.660 you know what I'm asking
01:07:18.920 so
01:07:19.260 I've never been diagnosed
01:07:21.160 I've been a regular kid
01:07:22.260 I'm good
01:07:22.920 I fall in love
01:07:24.320 with a girl
01:07:24.840 we marry each other
01:07:26.100 one day we're walking
01:07:27.280 she slips
01:07:29.660 somebody comes up 0.97
01:07:31.700 they shoot her
01:07:32.440 right in front of me 0.98
01:07:33.360 dies
01:07:33.980 they miss me
01:07:35.540 I watch her die
01:07:36.440 right in front of me
01:07:37.080 I can't do anything
01:07:37.780 about it for the rest
01:07:38.540 of my life
01:07:38.880 I feel guilty
01:07:39.580 can I go from
01:07:40.680 being normal
01:07:41.300 prior to that
01:07:41.960 to afterwards
01:07:42.560 now I've got
01:07:43.020 some kind of symptoms
01:07:43.760 where a psychologist
01:07:44.500 could say
01:07:44.920 I think you've got
01:07:45.520 certain issues here
01:07:46.260 okay so
01:07:46.880 what we need to do
01:07:48.440 is acknowledge
01:07:48.920 what that person's
01:07:49.680 gone through
01:07:49.960 that person has a story
01:07:51.000 that what you've just
01:07:51.800 described is a person's story
01:07:53.040 that's the 99%
01:07:54.200 of what they've experienced
01:07:55.480 we need to validate
01:07:56.500 that by hearing them
01:07:57.440 by listening to them
01:07:58.140 we invalidate that
01:07:59.900 by saying
01:08:00.680 you have an illness
01:08:01.660 of clinical depression
01:08:02.700 we invalidate that
01:08:04.120 by saying that
01:08:04.900 okay
01:08:05.280 you see what I'm saying
01:08:06.460 I agree
01:08:08.080 throwing the 99% away 1.00
01:08:09.600 you said it's only the 1%
01:08:11.120 I'm not going to validate
01:08:12.160 your experience
01:08:12.840 unless I can tell you 1.00
01:08:13.640 you have a brain illness 1.00
01:08:14.460 you do not have 0.99
01:08:15.260 a neuropsychiatric brain disease 0.80
01:08:16.520 you have a terrible trauma
01:08:18.340 and we need to listen to you
01:08:20.040 we need to help you
01:08:21.100 you need community
01:08:22.040 you need to cry
01:08:23.020 scream 0.99
01:08:23.420 let me ask you
01:08:23.600 let me be the devil's advocate 0.55
01:08:25.020 in this
01:08:25.340 how much of that can also be used
01:08:26.480 by somebody to use that
01:08:27.480 as a crutch to say
01:08:28.480 this is why I'm not
01:08:30.220 doing that well in life
01:08:31.340 because
01:08:31.680 you know this is why I'm also
01:08:33.520 come on
01:08:34.320 people do that
01:08:34.940 that's what I'm saying
01:08:35.840 people do that
01:08:36.260 they get stuck
01:08:36.920 you have to reconceptualize
01:08:38.420 so when I talk about
01:08:39.680 the five steps
01:08:40.320 and I talk about
01:08:40.900 acknowledging
01:08:41.480 you know that
01:08:42.320 gather
01:08:42.780 think
01:08:43.840 write
01:08:44.340 recheck
01:08:45.300 and active reach
01:08:46.600 what you're doing there
01:08:47.680 is you're reconceptualizing
01:08:49.180 so you're changing
01:08:49.940 so here you've gone
01:08:50.760 through the trauma
01:08:51.260 this woman
01:08:51.860 who went through
01:08:52.660 seeing her husband's head
01:08:53.780 she now does grief counseling 0.99
01:08:55.460 for people that are going
01:08:56.380 through grief
01:08:56.920 so she still has days
01:08:58.160 where she cries
01:08:58.760 and breaks down
01:08:59.320 she's a human 0.99
01:08:59.880 it's the human condition
01:09:00.840 it's a response
01:09:02.000 to the suffering of life
01:09:03.220 we can't medicalize misery
01:09:05.160 Patrick
01:09:05.760 we can't pathologize pain
01:09:07.580 emotional pain
01:09:09.180 trauma
01:09:09.660 these are stories
01:09:10.880 that are part of your suffering
01:09:12.000 they're kind of your
01:09:12.680 the Japanese have a beautiful principle
01:09:16.520 called kintsugi
01:09:17.240 have you ever heard of it
01:09:18.120 okay it's brilliant
01:09:19.040 if a vase drops
01:09:20.400 or a beautiful porcelain pot
01:09:21.780 and it shatters all over the ground
01:09:23.420 most people just sweep it away
01:09:25.040 and throw it away
01:09:25.680 what we see
01:09:27.080 what they do
01:09:27.700 is they actually rebuild
01:09:29.160 they
01:09:29.500 how long it takes
01:09:30.840 they rebuild the whole pot
01:09:31.960 and they use a lacquer
01:09:33.000 filled with gold
01:09:33.660 and platinum
01:09:34.460 so they rebuild something beautiful
01:09:36.420 with the gold
01:09:38.300 showing the damage
01:09:39.920 so in other words
01:09:40.840 that's what we come
01:09:41.380 we reconceptualize
01:09:42.520 so now this woman 0.52
01:09:43.360 with the grief
01:09:43.900 she has a pot 0.84
01:09:45.440 she's a pot of gold 1.00
01:09:46.180 she's rebuilt her life
01:09:47.620 but the pain is still there
01:09:48.980 we don't want to not acknowledge
01:09:50.020 she remembers the pain
01:09:51.340 but she's now managing the pain 0.99
01:09:53.900 by moving forward
01:09:55.140 by helping others
01:09:56.080 by not just me
01:09:57.280 myself and I
01:09:58.020 she's got to have periods 0.79
01:09:59.300 of me myself and I
01:10:00.300 but you've got to have
01:10:01.160 balance that with periods
01:10:02.140 of going out of yourself
01:10:03.240 so you have to reconceptualize
01:10:04.760 which means redesign
01:10:05.720 see it
01:10:06.880 have your
01:10:07.860 it's okay to grieve
01:10:09.180 you should grieve
01:10:09.940 do you know what the DSM says
01:10:12.080 if you
01:10:12.480 that woman 1.00
01:10:13.340 after two weeks
01:10:14.160 if she didn't
01:10:14.760 if she was still grieving
01:10:15.880 she now has an illness
01:10:17.080 you tell me
01:10:17.980 you're going to grieve
01:10:18.480 the rest of your life
01:10:19.220 if that happened to your wife 0.91
01:10:20.240 you're never going to get through grief
01:10:21.860 the worst thing you can say
01:10:22.720 to someone
01:10:23.180 who is grieving
01:10:24.400 is time will heal
01:10:25.860 time does not heal
01:10:26.640 you'll get over it
01:10:27.660 you will not get over it
01:10:28.420 you don't believe that
01:10:29.040 no
01:10:29.320 you will learn to live with it
01:10:30.400 that's very different
01:10:31.080 what's the toughest thing
01:10:31.520 you've ever experienced
01:10:32.320 you
01:10:32.760 attempted suicidal family
01:10:34.760 by a very close family member
01:10:36.180 which is
01:10:36.900 and it was unsuccessful
01:10:37.840 but it was
01:10:38.820 how many years ago was that
01:10:39.980 horrific
01:10:40.180 four years ago
01:10:41.020 four years ago
01:10:41.800 I've had
01:10:42.420 my eldest daughter
01:10:43.260 nearly died of bulimia
01:10:44.500 I mean I'm in the field
01:10:45.440 what did that do to you
01:10:46.100 when you had it
01:10:46.640 you die 0.60
01:10:47.040 in the moment
01:10:47.980 you literally
01:10:48.640 as a parent
01:10:49.640 you completely
01:10:50.520 like how do you cope
01:10:51.460 with something like that
01:10:52.260 you
01:10:52.460 it's devastating
01:10:53.780 but you have a choice
01:10:54.800 because I have to stay
01:10:55.980 strong and wise
01:10:57.260 for my kids
01:10:57.700 so I freaked out
01:10:58.600 I cried
01:10:59.180 I saw
01:10:59.940 I did whatever
01:11:00.540 but I had a sense of peace in me
01:11:02.160 that I will be strong
01:11:03.180 and I will be there
01:11:03.860 and I will help my child
01:11:05.240 through
01:11:05.980 so I didn't suppress it
01:11:07.920 I didn't go into a state
01:11:09.960 where I couldn't cope anymore
01:11:11.700 and got died
01:11:12.340 because those medications
01:11:13.720 antidepressants etc
01:11:14.980 those don't heal anything
01:11:16.660 they damage the brain
01:11:18.040 so people experience
01:11:20.000 a period of help
01:11:21.580 because they numb the brain
01:11:23.340 so if I'm in a place
01:11:24.600 where you've got that grief
01:11:26.700 for your husband
01:11:27.400 or whatever
01:11:27.840 your child
01:11:28.480 nearly dying of bulimia
01:11:29.420 whatever
01:11:29.660 door trauma
01:11:31.740 you're in a bad place
01:11:33.500 and what they do
01:11:35.160 those drugs will numb the pain 0.91
01:11:36.840 because sometimes
01:11:37.340 the pain is too much
01:11:38.100 but you know what
01:11:38.860 we have to be brave
01:11:39.680 we have to allow ourselves
01:11:41.060 and give ourselves permission
01:11:42.440 to go through the pain
01:11:43.760 and we can't do it alone
01:11:44.960 Patrick this is the other thing
01:11:46.060 what we see from science
01:11:47.620 is that
01:11:47.980 as a family
01:11:49.080 we pulled together
01:11:49.900 when my daughter
01:11:50.880 went through
01:11:51.420 that terrible time
01:11:53.020 when that woman 1.00
01:11:54.940 went through the grief
01:11:55.820 with her husband
01:11:56.260 she had a community
01:11:57.400 as soon as I reach out
01:11:58.960 to you
01:11:59.200 and listen to you
01:11:59.960 that I agree
01:12:00.500 your brain changes
01:12:01.460 you know that
01:12:01.920 you switch on
01:12:02.900 you actually switch on
01:12:04.160 a genetic switch
01:12:05.160 in your brain
01:12:05.620 that increases
01:12:06.180 your resilience
01:12:06.940 when you're in community
01:12:08.440 you also change
01:12:09.900 how your neurotransmitters flow
01:12:11.180 your entire body
01:12:13.100 works for you
01:12:13.980 instead of against you
01:12:14.940 the blood will dilate
01:12:17.060 you'll have more blood
01:12:18.020 in your brain
01:12:18.500 and oxygen in your brain
01:12:19.740 1400 neurophysiological
01:12:21.620 responses will work for you
01:12:22.820 in that state
01:12:23.860 even in the midst
01:12:24.780 of your screaming
01:12:25.460 shouting
01:12:25.920 crying
01:12:26.380 swearing
01:12:26.820 going crazy
01:12:27.540 expressing
01:12:28.540 going from highs
01:12:29.660 to lows
01:12:30.300 which is all normal
01:12:31.260 you have got
01:12:32.940 this inner strength
01:12:33.880 that's happening
01:12:34.740 when you realise
01:12:35.680 that okay
01:12:36.200 I give myself permission
01:12:37.240 to go through this
01:12:38.060 and I'm going to do it
01:12:39.140 I'm not going to be alone
01:12:39.840 no one can fix you
01:12:41.020 no one can take your pain away
01:12:42.060 but I can hold your hand
01:12:43.180 and that's what we need to do
01:12:44.660 it's like Lord of the Rings
01:12:45.500 Frodo
01:12:46.260 Sam said to Frodo
01:12:47.920 I can't carry the ring
01:12:49.620 into Mount Doom
01:12:50.380 but I can carry you
01:12:51.460 and this is how we have to
01:12:53.320 manage mental health
01:12:54.260 we have to allow people
01:12:55.260 to embrace and process
01:12:56.300 and we have to do it
01:12:57.440 in community
01:12:58.020 not medicate
01:12:59.640 not drug
01:13:00.440 not medicating
01:13:02.060 do you have
01:13:02.460 for 25 years you practice
01:13:03.840 do you have the ability
01:13:05.840 to prescribe me any medication
01:13:07.200 no I don't prescribe
01:13:08.240 I'm not a prescribing physician
01:13:09.560 you're not
01:13:10.200 no
01:13:10.480 do you have the ability
01:13:11.380 to tell me
01:13:11.880 go see Dr. Jones
01:13:12.800 she can prescribe you Zoloft
01:13:14.420 she can prescribe you Redland
01:13:15.500 she can prescribe you Abilify
01:13:16.240 except I would never tell them 0.99
01:13:17.140 I would never kill you like that 0.99
01:13:18.300 so you never in your life 0.97
01:13:19.800 never recommend it
01:13:21.400 ever
01:13:21.720 no I actually put people
01:13:22.860 on withdrawal programs
01:13:23.800 to get off the drugs
01:13:24.680 those drugs increase
01:13:25.840 your chance of dementia
01:13:26.740 they have no positive effects
01:13:29.260 except numbing effects
01:13:30.400 so the only time
01:13:31.720 that I would indicate
01:13:32.320 let's say someone is now
01:13:33.260 in that midst of that trauma
01:13:34.320 and they are freaking out
01:13:36.440 maybe someone's like
01:13:37.200 threatening to do
01:13:38.500 something dangerous
01:13:39.200 maybe 24 hour sedation
01:13:41.660 but then you've got to
01:13:43.080 but not longer than that
01:13:44.300 because these drugs
01:13:44.980 are addictive
01:13:45.400 they're drugs
01:13:46.020 they're not medicine
01:13:47.320 they're not healing your body
01:13:48.700 they're damaging your body
01:13:50.100 they're not medicine
01:13:51.740 powerful statement
01:13:52.380 it's very very different
01:13:53.760 that's a powerful statement
01:13:54.720 they set you up
01:13:55.440 for the dementias
01:13:56.120 they have 3000 plus side effects
01:13:57.620 and all the clinical trials
01:13:59.280 have actually been
01:13:59.960 have shown
01:14:00.720 that they're not effective
01:14:01.480 they cherry pick
01:14:02.300 they take out
01:14:03.040 and they say
01:14:03.500 they worked over placebo
01:14:04.540 they did not
01:14:05.320 it's not the accurate truth
01:14:07.560 the public hasn't been
01:14:08.400 presented with the truth
01:14:09.360 obviously I know
01:14:10.220 a lot of these
01:14:10.660 because in my world
01:14:11.860 I have a lot of peers
01:14:13.580 we talk openly
01:14:14.600 whether it's lorizepam
01:14:16.480 you know Adderall
01:14:17.520 you know Adderall
01:14:18.120 is a very big thing nowadays
01:14:19.260 people are getting hooked
01:14:20.680 on Adderall
01:14:21.380 very early on
01:14:22.840 from high school
01:14:23.420 this guy can't pay attention
01:14:24.480 to school here
01:14:25.020 take some Adderall
01:14:25.600 polypharmacy
01:14:26.240 it just drives me nuts
01:14:27.780 how early they started
01:14:29.080 how early they
01:14:29.760 Xanax
01:14:30.600 in the womb
01:14:31.600 say that again 0.67
01:14:32.320 they are doing
01:14:32.920 they are medicating
01:14:34.820 babies in the womb
01:14:35.760 they are saying that
01:14:36.420 from a brain scan
01:14:37.280 that this baby
01:14:38.160 is potentially
01:14:38.580 going to get
01:14:38.980 you've got to be kidding me
01:14:39.420 that's how the public
01:14:40.600 have been lied to
01:14:41.360 it's financially driven
01:14:42.580 the kids as young as 2
01:14:43.900 who's doing that
01:14:45.080 doctors are doing this
01:14:46.140 around the globe
01:14:46.940 it's the worst
01:14:47.860 in the United States
01:14:48.700 of America
01:14:49.200 you know you can't
01:14:50.120 also the other thing
01:14:50.860 is you can't just
01:14:51.460 like these guys
01:14:52.040 you're talking about
01:14:52.560 you can't just
01:14:53.080 stop these drugs
01:14:53.740 because as every drug
01:14:55.100 you put in your mouth 0.93
01:14:55.740 your brain changes
01:14:56.900 you grow things
01:14:57.740 in your brain
01:14:58.360 when you take
01:14:59.160 an antidepressant
01:15:00.000 an antipsychotic
01:15:00.820 you know that's crazy
01:15:01.220 you actually grow
01:15:02.680 structures in your brain
01:15:03.820 that damage your brain
01:15:04.840 the guy behind me 0.98
01:15:05.680 the one that your
01:15:06.240 husband was talking
01:15:07.620 about how
01:15:08.200 the Shah 0.84
01:15:09.900 at one time
01:15:10.500 was interviewed
01:15:10.920 on BBC
01:15:11.460 he says
01:15:12.520 the difference
01:15:12.940 between us
01:15:13.420 and the West
01:15:13.900 is the West 0.54
01:15:14.500 is
01:15:14.860 you know
01:15:15.820 wasting life
01:15:17.400 by taking
01:15:17.900 way too many
01:15:18.500 sleeping pills
01:15:19.220 and he said
01:15:20.120 this in 76
01:15:21.160 he talked about it
01:15:22.720 exactly
01:15:23.100 so it's like
01:15:23.700 you know
01:15:24.020 you're putting
01:15:25.180 yourself through
01:15:25.780 your problem
01:15:26.300 by just medicating
01:15:27.160 yourself
01:15:27.440 not even thinking
01:15:27.960 about the problem
01:15:28.440 numbing the brain
01:15:29.360 numbing your brain
01:15:30.160 to not even
01:15:30.620 go through the problem
01:15:31.160 so let me go
01:15:31.900 through something else
01:15:32.440 can I show you
01:15:33.260 an analogy
01:15:33.660 just for what you said
01:15:34.380 okay so this is
01:15:35.340 a festering wound
01:15:36.040 when you think
01:15:36.700 and feel and choose
01:15:37.600 you cause genetic
01:15:38.440 expression
01:15:38.920 you grow stuff
01:15:39.600 in your brain
01:15:40.020 that's what we're
01:15:40.440 doing now
01:15:40.780 we've been talking
01:15:41.260 about this
01:15:41.680 if you have a toxic
01:15:42.440 issue
01:15:42.720 and you haven't
01:15:43.040 dealt with it
01:15:43.500 you have this thing
01:15:44.500 the proteins
01:15:45.040 are all folded
01:15:45.640 weirdly
01:15:46.040 the electrical
01:15:47.160 chemical balance
01:15:47.920 is wrong
01:15:48.220 it's all dangerous
01:15:48.960 here's a slide
01:15:49.880 to show you
01:15:51.040 what it looks like
01:15:51.900 there
01:15:52.160 it's actually
01:15:53.400 it's not a hole
01:15:53.980 it's actually
01:15:54.460 toxicity
01:15:54.900 this is like a virus
01:15:55.920 so if I don't
01:15:57.140 deal with this
01:15:57.520 if I just medicate
01:15:58.540 that medication
01:15:59.540 grows extra things
01:16:00.660 around this area
01:16:01.780 that make it worse
01:16:03.040 so when the
01:16:04.860 numbing effect
01:16:05.920 wears off
01:16:06.400 I've got this
01:16:07.120 and I've got now
01:16:08.280 extra things here
01:16:09.240 that make my brain
01:16:10.100 and that's aggression
01:16:10.800 it'll manifest in
01:16:12.660 feelings of
01:16:13.160 worse depression
01:16:14.020 aggression etc
01:16:14.800 then if you just
01:16:16.240 put the medication
01:16:16.880 back on
01:16:17.380 or say positive
01:16:18.020 affirmation
01:16:18.680 and happiness
01:16:19.300 industry
01:16:19.820 you're just
01:16:20.540 slapping a band-aid
01:16:21.480 on
01:16:21.700 the wound
01:16:22.200 is still festering
01:16:22.880 eventually
01:16:23.260 it'll burn
01:16:23.920 all the way through
01:16:24.600 we have to get it out
01:16:25.740 and research shows
01:16:26.720 as soon as we get it out
01:16:27.780 in the conscious
01:16:28.320 as soon as you gather
01:16:29.120 it weakens
01:16:29.940 see how this is shaking
01:16:30.740 you actually weaken it
01:16:32.260 you weaken the bonds
01:16:33.360 which means you can
01:16:34.100 redesign it
01:16:34.840 very powerful
01:16:35.600 yep
01:16:35.900 I agree
01:16:36.680 brilliant concept
01:16:39.320 next question
01:16:40.080 people have faced
01:16:41.320 different challenges
01:16:42.020 in their lives
01:16:43.040 okay
01:16:43.520 you just talked
01:16:44.700 about suicide
01:16:45.340 I've experienced
01:16:46.140 exact similar situation
01:16:47.260 to where I had to
01:16:47.960 call the cops
01:16:48.620 they came
01:16:49.220 they took the person
01:16:50.160 went to the hospital
01:16:51.320 because there was
01:16:51.940 too many calls
01:16:52.480 of suicide
01:16:52.980 at one point
01:16:53.640 this person took
01:16:54.280 17 sleeping pills
01:16:55.440 at the same time
01:16:56.240 and said hey
01:16:57.420 I love you
01:16:58.040 I said this is
01:16:58.740 too many calls
01:16:59.300 I just called
01:16:59.920 boom
01:17:00.240 go pick them up
01:17:01.020 went straight to the hospital
01:17:01.960 I went and visited
01:17:02.560 the person
01:17:03.060 very close family
01:17:04.500 messes with your head
01:17:05.460 because you're always
01:17:06.040 worried about this person
01:17:06.800 killing themselves
01:17:07.660 and you don't have 0.99
01:17:08.860 any control over it
01:17:09.760 right
01:17:09.960 so we got loss
01:17:11.460 of a loved one
01:17:12.020 we're pretty much
01:17:12.860 all going to experience
01:17:13.540 this the longer
01:17:14.060 we live
01:17:14.300 we're going to experience
01:17:14.760 the tough part
01:17:15.420 is a different loss
01:17:16.280 of a loved one
01:17:16.740 is burying your parents
01:17:17.720 versus burying their child
01:17:19.080 exactly
01:17:19.480 it's a different
01:17:19.900 kind of a pain
01:17:20.420 from your experience
01:17:21.760 if you don't mind
01:17:22.620 if I go through these
01:17:23.780 you give me 15-30 seconds
01:17:26.500 per because if we go longer
01:17:27.760 we'd be here for a long time
01:17:28.880 through this
01:17:29.300 you've sat with a lot
01:17:30.580 of people
01:17:31.020 what have the
01:17:32.340 immediate pain been
01:17:34.300 for people
01:17:34.800 that have experienced
01:17:35.500 this
01:17:35.720 if you don't know
01:17:36.460 if you haven't experienced
01:17:37.120 something like this
01:17:37.600 just say pass
01:17:38.200 you know
01:17:38.440 we'll go to the next person
01:17:39.320 or it's the same thing
01:17:39.980 what's loss of a loved one
01:17:41.620 been from a parent
01:17:44.000 burying their kids
01:17:45.180 total and as a trauma
01:17:47.440 they're going to go
01:17:47.940 into trauma
01:17:48.380 the parent
01:17:48.920 is that what you're looking for
01:17:49.880 yes
01:17:49.960 yeah
01:17:50.340 you're going to go into trauma
01:17:51.520 and that in itself
01:17:52.260 is not
01:17:52.680 it's trauma
01:17:53.460 it's real
01:17:54.440 and people have to learn
01:17:55.580 to move forward through it
01:17:57.580 so that's not ever
01:17:58.500 going to go away
01:17:59.140 and that's what we need
01:18:00.260 to give people
01:18:00.820 permission to keep that
01:18:02.960 because then grief
01:18:03.900 eventually becomes a point
01:18:05.180 where you can actually
01:18:06.200 take the trauma
01:18:07.460 and remember the good times
01:18:08.780 and that's been my experience
01:18:09.780 working with people
01:18:10.540 that have lost a child
01:18:12.360 to suicide
01:18:12.980 or early death
01:18:13.960 for whatever reason
01:18:14.860 is that there's initially
01:18:16.380 all the stages
01:18:17.260 you go through
01:18:17.720 anger, the denial, the hate
01:18:18.620 you have to allow the process
01:18:20.200 and you have to
01:18:20.980 very
01:18:21.980 we've got to get people
01:18:24.000 the sooner you actually
01:18:25.480 experience the pain
01:18:26.820 you learn to then
01:18:28.440 manage the pain
01:18:29.220 the sooner you mean what
01:18:30.280 the sooner you
01:18:31.160 cry, scream 0.99
01:18:32.620 sit down with the people
01:18:33.880 don't try and block that
01:18:35.160 we're in a day
01:18:35.960 in an age where it's
01:18:36.800 okay you're in pain
01:18:37.480 let me numb it
01:18:38.060 let's get you sleeping
01:18:38.800 tablets you can't sleep
01:18:39.660 it's better to stay awake
01:18:40.800 all night crying
01:18:41.620 and cry that
01:18:42.720 I'll talk it
01:18:43.260 I'll have people around you
01:18:44.580 holding you
01:18:45.260 just holding you
01:18:45.980 that physical contact
01:18:47.060 and then every day
01:18:48.820 it will get a little better
01:18:49.780 but if you don't
01:18:50.900 if you just shove that
01:18:51.660 away with drugs
01:18:52.380 the rest of your life
01:18:54.280 has
01:18:54.840 and then transform
01:18:56.120 I've got to say
01:18:56.680 one mistake
01:18:57.040 you've got to transform
01:18:58.060 at some point
01:18:58.860 like that woman 1.00
01:18:59.320 whose husband's head 0.99
01:19:00.460 got severed
01:19:01.120 she transformed that pain
01:19:02.900 into activity with people
01:19:04.960 deep meaningful connection
01:19:06.020 she counsels people
01:19:07.020 with grief now
01:19:07.720 Tia Kyle said the same
01:19:08.820 thing as well
01:19:09.260 when she lost her husband
01:19:10.060 from a shooting
01:19:10.660 you'll hear that consistently
01:19:12.040 so how about
01:19:12.940 from all of these
01:19:13.700 I think based on the answer
01:19:14.780 you gave
01:19:15.080 it may be the same answer
01:19:16.020 for all of them
01:19:16.560 divorce separation
01:19:17.380 similar answer
01:19:18.080 you would say
01:19:18.480 trauma strong
01:19:19.040 close call
01:19:20.140 anything about divorce
01:19:21.040 if I may say
01:19:21.620 because there's the connection
01:19:22.660 because there's the whole
01:19:23.660 connection between a husband
01:19:24.860 and wife
01:19:25.360 and the sexual connection
01:19:26.360 everything
01:19:26.660 there's a lot of
01:19:27.260 there's physical
01:19:28.460 two particles
01:19:29.660 in quantum physics
01:19:30.520 as soon as they put
01:19:31.320 in relationship
01:19:31.940 no matter how far apart
01:19:34.300 they're always in relationship
01:19:35.260 that's what quantum physics
01:19:36.480 is like
01:19:36.800 there's always a what?
01:19:37.480 there's always a relationship
01:19:38.680 even though you divorce
01:19:39.820 or you separate
01:19:40.460 yes
01:19:40.800 so what you've got here
01:19:41.640 is now you've got
01:19:42.260 the severing of a relationship
01:19:43.660 so now we've got
01:19:44.360 this weird thing
01:19:46.020 so it has to be healed
01:19:47.160 so that's why
01:19:47.740 it's so important
01:19:48.520 it's through communication
01:19:49.920 through talking
01:19:50.620 with each other?
01:19:51.900 if it's possible
01:19:52.840 if it's not possible
01:19:54.060 because the person
01:19:55.040 is hurting
01:19:55.800 there's abuse
01:19:56.700 or something like that
01:19:57.600 or if it's too traumatic
01:20:00.420 then counseling
01:20:01.700 with other people
01:20:02.360 that you get to a point
01:20:03.220 where you can forgive
01:20:03.940 forgiveness is vital
01:20:05.300 because it isolates
01:20:06.500 otherwise
01:20:06.840 this is the toxic divorce
01:20:08.400 there is
01:20:09.420 we can see a physical thing
01:20:10.900 there's a quantum energy connection
01:20:12.620 so there's an invisible connection
01:20:14.100 so if you don't forgive
01:20:15.440 even if you're the victim
01:20:16.860 you still stay connected
01:20:18.160 so by forgiveness
01:20:19.240 we sever that
01:20:20.280 we sever that connection
01:20:21.420 and that's vital in divorce
01:20:23.300 any kind of trauma
01:20:25.000 even if someone's raped you
01:20:26.440 you've got to get to the point
01:20:28.020 where you forgive
01:20:28.540 you're not forgiving
01:20:29.360 what they've done
01:20:30.100 what they did is unforgivable
01:20:31.660 but you're forgiving
01:20:33.040 from you
01:20:33.840 because now you can sever
01:20:35.260 and you can heal
01:20:35.940 all that will control you
01:20:36.880 the rest of your life
01:20:37.600 so you've got to
01:20:38.220 seal this thing off
01:20:39.120 and redesign it
01:20:39.940 does that make sense?
01:20:40.800 of course
01:20:41.140 close call
01:20:41.820 if I was
01:20:42.580 I almost died
01:20:43.480 it really messed with my head
01:20:44.760 if somebody had a close call
01:20:46.440 of dying
01:20:46.860 yeah
01:20:47.300 something happened
01:20:48.780 somebody almost killed me
01:20:50.360 gun was up to my head
01:20:51.940 we were bombed
01:20:52.840 and I almost died
01:20:53.800 I'm shocked
01:20:54.820 it stays with me
01:20:55.660 certain sirens
01:20:56.900 always with me
01:20:57.820 I see because it triggers things
01:20:59.040 PTSD
01:20:59.520 so you've got
01:21:00.160 so it's not an illness
01:21:02.040 it is a response
01:21:03.420 so bipolar PTSD
01:21:04.700 all these things
01:21:05.360 these are just umbrella terms
01:21:06.920 descriptions for the underlying thing
01:21:08.360 in this case
01:21:08.940 you would experience the reaction
01:21:10.520 you're experiencing
01:21:11.100 your whole body
01:21:11.800 it was embodied in your body
01:21:13.680 so your brain built the network
01:21:15.040 your body embodied it
01:21:16.580 and then there's the trigger
01:21:18.040 so what you have to do
01:21:18.820 is learn to manage the triggers
01:21:20.020 and that's a matter of
01:21:21.340 as you see them happening
01:21:22.380 write it down
01:21:23.120 put it in your phone
01:21:24.260 whatever
01:21:24.600 and then you can eventually learn
01:21:25.960 to manage those triggers
01:21:27.520 what will also happen
01:21:28.920 in those near-death experiences
01:21:30.300 is very often tremendous
01:21:31.560 insight into your spiritual nature
01:21:33.320 grab and run with that
01:21:34.780 because that will grow you
01:21:35.900 as a person
01:21:36.520 and you find that
01:21:38.240 with people that have gone
01:21:39.100 through those
01:21:39.720 sexual abuse 0.54
01:21:40.600 sexual abuse is 0.96
01:21:42.600 an invade 0.93
01:21:43.560 complete invasion
01:21:45.060 it starts with
01:21:45.980 acknowledgement
01:21:46.740 very often it's suppressed
01:21:48.180 because of the guilt
01:21:48.980 and the shame
01:21:49.480 that surrounded it
01:21:50.300 you know the me too movements
01:21:51.420 helped a lot
01:21:51.960 but for male and female 0.94
01:21:53.240 there's too much
01:21:54.660 shame has locked people in
01:21:55.980 if we have a society
01:21:57.380 that's more open
01:21:58.320 to allowing us
01:21:59.860 to express how we feel
01:22:01.120 we're in a society
01:22:01.840 that doesn't allow us
01:22:02.680 to express
01:22:03.280 we need to be able to express
01:22:04.640 when you talk
01:22:05.620 it's the same thing
01:22:06.200 you've got to get it out
01:22:07.200 you've got to process
01:22:08.000 and then you've got to forgive
01:22:09.520 so you've got to do
01:22:10.060 that forgiveness
01:22:10.620 it's that five step process
01:22:12.960 it's embrace
01:22:13.620 this person was a kid
01:22:15.840 hey I was only 6 years old
01:22:17.180 when it happened
01:22:17.560 I was 12 years old
01:22:18.220 what kind of control
01:22:18.800 do I have over it
01:22:19.540 nothing until later on
01:22:20.860 and very often
01:22:21.480 it only manifests
01:22:22.820 in a relationship
01:22:23.540 later on
01:22:24.100 you can find that
01:22:25.360 very often you'll find
01:22:26.660 in a relationship
01:22:27.400 or in a behavioral issue
01:22:28.460 maybe early on
01:22:29.260 so if it's picked up
01:22:29.940 early on
01:22:30.260 that there's a change
01:22:30.860 in behavior in a child
01:22:31.900 through play therapy
01:22:33.100 very often that can be
01:22:34.280 picked up
01:22:34.720 and then it's a matter
01:22:36.100 of helping children
01:22:36.800 to build a feeling
01:22:37.720 of safety
01:22:38.280 and then it's
01:22:39.180 as they're getting older
01:22:39.920 once they get into
01:22:40.680 a relationship
01:22:41.220 it's going to come back again
01:22:42.860 and then it's been
01:22:43.800 creating an environment
01:22:44.880 very open
01:22:45.700 like we've done
01:22:46.100 with our kids
01:22:46.600 in our home
01:22:47.080 is to talk about stuff
01:22:48.540 but it takes a lot of time
01:22:49.960 what you've got to do
01:22:50.660 is create an openness
01:22:52.420 in homes
01:22:54.460 amongst parents
01:22:55.280 and children
01:22:55.820 and in society
01:22:56.880 where all of us
01:22:58.540 are experiencing trauma
01:22:59.840 it's the human condition
01:23:01.180 you're not different
01:23:02.000 because you're depressed
01:23:02.900 you're not different 0.97
01:23:03.520 because you're sexually abused 0.99
01:23:04.500 everyone has got a story
01:23:06.100 and more people are abused
01:23:07.720 than should be
01:23:08.300 it's very high numbers
01:23:09.480 but society doesn't allow
01:23:10.800 us to talk about it
01:23:11.640 so it's an open
01:23:12.260 with a safe community
01:23:14.400 to be able to talk
01:23:15.140 about that
01:23:15.620 I can see that
01:23:16.440 so how about
01:23:16.880 loss of relevance
01:23:21.080 beauty
01:23:21.740 fame
01:23:22.420 you were popular
01:23:23.900 you were attractive
01:23:25.040 now you've lost it
01:23:26.820 you used to be
01:23:27.440 the one that everybody
01:23:28.140 gave you attention
01:23:28.940 you used to be
01:23:29.480 very popular
01:23:30.200 you've lost that
01:23:31.500 you went from being
01:23:32.280 the face
01:23:32.920 and now you're no longer
01:23:34.100 you got a lot of attention
01:23:35.340 how do you deal with that
01:23:36.180 okay so first of all
01:23:37.400 we have to go
01:23:38.100 and ask ourself
01:23:39.240 if it's totally
01:23:41.160 thrown you
01:23:41.720 then we've taken
01:23:42.360 that external
01:23:43.180 and we've taken
01:23:44.160 the external
01:23:44.800 and we've put it on us
01:23:45.840 and that's given us
01:23:46.640 our feeling of success
01:23:48.060 but our identity
01:23:50.440 is kind of lost
01:23:51.480 so true success
01:23:52.560 is not that
01:23:53.740 that wasn't really success
01:23:55.000 it actually wasn't even
01:23:55.740 successful at all
01:23:56.520 true success
01:23:57.580 if success changes you
01:23:59.580 your identity
01:24:01.620 wasn't strong
01:24:02.480 in the first place
01:24:03.320 true success is
01:24:04.460 if you've got nothing
01:24:05.240 and you still feel
01:24:05.900 a sense of peace
01:24:06.620 in the midst of the crisis
01:24:07.600 so it comes from
01:24:09.460 internal
01:24:09.820 it's a spiritual thing
01:24:10.760 right there
01:24:11.080 it's very spiritual
01:24:11.840 and it's internal
01:24:13.000 it's intrinsic versus extrinsic
01:24:14.680 and we're in an
01:24:15.320 extrinsically dominated society
01:24:16.980 here's a weird one
01:24:17.820 let's see what you're
01:24:18.400 going to say to this
01:24:19.040 I had a friend of mine
01:24:20.340 who used to go
01:24:20.800 to a catholic church
01:24:21.720 and the guy that ran
01:24:22.740 the church
01:24:23.140 the priest
01:24:23.680 was respected by everybody
01:24:25.860 and one day he flipped
01:24:27.300 and he says
01:24:28.400 you know what
01:24:28.920 I got three women here 1.00
01:24:30.260 in the church
01:24:30.780 that I've been seeing
01:24:31.540 and I'm not
01:24:33.520 who you think I am
01:24:34.540 and I have no desire
01:24:35.760 to become
01:24:36.760 the religious leader
01:24:38.140 that you base me on
01:24:38.880 what would John do
01:24:39.560 what would Bobby do
01:24:40.260 what would Larry do
01:24:40.940 how do you manage
01:24:42.700 I've had so many friends
01:24:43.720 that are like
01:24:43.960 look I used to belong
01:24:44.520 to a church
01:24:44.980 when the pastor got up
01:24:45.780 he said this
01:24:47.660 how do you deal with that
01:24:49.340 well we're putting people
01:24:50.680 on pedestals
01:24:51.440 and we all
01:24:51.980 it's a level playing field
01:24:53.380 we've got to stop doing that
01:24:54.360 there's this whole thing
01:24:55.040 I'm a leader
01:24:55.480 so I'm perfect
01:24:56.180 you know if someone
01:24:57.020 what we should be doing
01:24:57.640 is embracing that priest's honesty
01:24:59.120 that he actually has
01:25:00.760 been put in a box
01:25:01.940 of that
01:25:02.760 celibacy
01:25:03.820 we should embrace
01:25:04.600 the honesty
01:25:05.120 and say at least
01:25:05.860 he's actually come out
01:25:07.260 and he's actually been honest
01:25:08.540 and I would go that angle
01:25:11.020 there's a lot of that
01:25:11.980 there's a lot of that
01:25:12.860 oh it's all over
01:25:13.640 yeah there's a lot of that
01:25:14.700 with that
01:25:15.020 because you put people in boxes
01:25:16.020 and they can't live up to it
01:25:16.940 identity kills people
01:25:18.060 people
01:25:18.340 more suicides happen
01:25:19.420 from people's lack of identity
01:25:20.580 than anything else
01:25:21.460 if you're not valued
01:25:23.220 if you're identity
01:25:23.800 if you aren't valued
01:25:24.800 what have you got to live
01:25:26.200 exactly
01:25:26.620 that's a part of it
01:25:27.460 public humiliation
01:25:28.620 you had a massive
01:25:29.760 public humiliation moment
01:25:32.000 nowadays it happens
01:25:33.100 on social media
01:25:33.740 you had a screw up
01:25:34.560 you posted a picture
01:25:35.440 and boom
01:25:37.000 it reappears 12 years
01:25:38.420 I totally forgot
01:25:39.380 I posted it on Facebook
01:25:40.180 12 years ago
01:25:40.800 I can't believe I did that
01:25:41.740 you know
01:25:42.700 I had an incident
01:25:44.120 at my company
01:25:45.380 some happened
01:25:46.940 people saw what I did
01:25:47.880 very embarrassing moment
01:25:49.260 how do you handle that
01:25:50.060 you can't control it
01:25:51.500 just yesterday
01:25:52.720 I sat with a person
01:25:54.500 very successful person
01:25:55.880 she said
01:25:56.740 can I talk to you privately
01:25:57.840 pulled me aside
01:25:58.760 I said yes
01:25:59.700 my brother's girlfriend
01:26:02.640 fiance
01:26:03.580 is a very famous
01:26:05.500 online celebrity
01:26:06.760 okay
01:26:07.280 so I said okay
01:26:08.520 so I look at who the person is
01:26:09.760 I know who this person is
01:26:10.780 I've seen her face before
01:26:11.700 okay
01:26:12.100 this person posted
01:26:14.380 something that was not
01:26:16.520 supposed to happen
01:26:17.360 everybody came after her
01:26:20.540 she lost 70-80%
01:26:23.040 she took a big hit 0.84
01:26:24.340 okay
01:26:24.660 because her entire image
01:26:26.240 that she was selling
01:26:27.060 it flipped
01:26:27.600 and I was like
01:26:28.060 wait a minute
01:26:28.380 you're talking about
01:26:29.280 not shaming
01:26:29.780 you just shamed this individual
01:26:30.920 she doesn't know
01:26:32.280 how to come back
01:26:32.740 from this major public
01:26:33.640 humiliation that he had
01:26:34.560 because she humiliated
01:26:35.300 somebody else
01:26:35.840 how do you handle that
01:26:37.280 so from her perspective
01:26:38.740 you made a big screw
01:26:40.480 she knows she screwed up 0.82
01:26:41.860 yeah
01:26:42.120 and she is now
01:26:42.900 humiliated publicly
01:26:43.760 because it's out there
01:26:44.740 there's nothing she can do
01:26:45.640 about it
01:26:46.020 easy answer
01:26:46.700 what's that
01:26:47.300 honesty
01:26:47.580 I made a mistake
01:26:48.620 and that's
01:26:49.900 people will still slam you
01:26:51.200 but that is
01:26:51.720 absolute the vulnerability
01:26:52.840 I used to think
01:26:54.180 like this
01:26:54.680 and I've changed
01:26:55.860 because of this
01:26:56.600 people respect that
01:26:57.820 more than ever
01:26:58.240 I said that earlier on
01:26:59.020 about Henry Markham
01:26:59.800 as a great scientist
01:27:00.680 one of the greatest
01:27:01.340 things about him
01:27:02.260 was his ability to say
01:27:03.240 I was in the wrong direction
01:27:04.440 I'm going in another direction
01:27:05.720 it's honesty
01:27:06.800 it's fine
01:27:07.100 and we change
01:27:08.040 we change as humans
01:27:09.260 and we make mistakes
01:27:10.820 tell me one person
01:27:14.400 who hasn't made a mistake
01:27:15.460 and if we start
01:27:16.600 owning up to our mistakes
01:27:17.800 you're not going to have
01:27:18.540 the pride issues
01:27:19.320 that we see
01:27:19.840 so just if you make a mistake
01:27:20.980 and you've hurt someone
01:27:21.700 say sorry
01:27:22.140 and be honest
01:27:22.620 my daughter's never made a mistake
01:27:23.980 exactly
01:27:24.460 she's the one exception
01:27:25.740 not yet
01:27:26.600 not yet
01:27:27.380 but no no
01:27:28.280 obviously that's a whole thing
01:27:29.060 she makes a lot of mistakes 0.96
01:27:30.160 and she's famous
01:27:31.040 she screams so loud 1.00
01:27:32.580 the entire neighborhood
01:27:34.140 shuts down
01:27:34.700 when this girl screams 1.00
01:27:35.560 at three years old
01:27:36.380 well she's getting it out
01:27:36.740 good for her
01:27:37.360 yeah more power
01:27:38.080 I tell you
01:27:38.520 she's not going in her body 1.00
01:27:39.700 listen man
01:27:40.060 you're going to sing one day
01:27:40.800 let's do something
01:27:41.540 there we go
01:27:42.020 it's not going in her body 0.86
01:27:43.080 she's getting it out
01:27:43.960 parenting and relationships
01:27:44.960 the last thing I want to do
01:27:45.820 and then we can wrap up
01:27:46.500 from here
01:27:46.900 is
01:27:47.760 men who are raised
01:27:52.620 with a bad relationship
01:27:53.780 with mother
01:27:54.320 don't make good spouses 1.00
01:27:55.520 okay
01:27:56.280 you've heard this before
01:27:57.380 women who are raised 0.85
01:27:58.960 without having a father figure
01:28:00.320 end up becoming
01:28:01.260 dot dot dot
01:28:02.260 right
01:28:02.560 how much truth
01:28:03.980 is there behind that
01:28:04.880 can I answer the same one
01:28:06.120 that I did earlier
01:28:06.780 on nature nurture
01:28:07.580 eye factor
01:28:08.200 so you can have two people
01:28:09.840 two kids in the same home
01:28:11.580 that have experienced
01:28:12.560 that kind of
01:28:13.240 whatever
01:28:13.500 either of those scenarios
01:28:14.960 and one will go into
01:28:16.160 a good relationship
01:28:16.840 one won't go into
01:28:17.680 a good relationship
01:28:18.340 so once again
01:28:20.280 it's about
01:28:21.260 it's definitely effects
01:28:22.820 nurturing does affect
01:28:24.200 and there's definitely
01:28:24.780 going to be issues
01:28:25.620 so the one that does
01:28:26.660 succeed in their relationship
01:28:27.740 there's going to be things
01:28:28.800 that they're going to do
01:28:29.580 that need to be dealt with
01:28:30.900 the whole thing here
01:28:31.900 is embrace
01:28:32.940 the emotional warning signals
01:28:34.780 it's one of the biggest
01:28:35.480 things that I taught
01:28:36.120 all my patients
01:28:36.760 and I say all the time
01:28:37.660 is listen to the emotional
01:28:39.340 and physical warning signals
01:28:40.740 of your body
01:28:41.960 which I've been doing
01:28:42.620 in my clinical research
01:28:43.560 as well
01:28:44.000 and once you train
01:28:45.240 yourself to do that
01:28:45.980 you can then bring
01:28:46.640 that into your
01:28:48.260 see where it's like
01:28:49.720 if you
01:28:50.000 like you have
01:28:51.220 great marriage
01:28:51.780 but you've got
01:28:52.220 this one issue
01:28:52.800 the other person
01:28:53.880 is divorced five times
01:28:54.920 because of the
01:28:55.600 parenting issue
01:28:56.440 so the one who's
01:28:57.780 in the good marriage
01:28:58.520 but they've got
01:28:58.960 this issue
01:28:59.540 face the issue
01:29:00.840 deal with it
01:29:01.340 use the signals
01:29:02.220 that are coming
01:29:02.780 the feedback
01:29:03.300 the emotional ones
01:29:04.280 the physical ones
01:29:04.960 and make the changes
01:29:05.840 fair enough
01:29:06.700 this one's another one
01:29:09.340 that I'm curious
01:29:09.800 on what you'll say
01:29:10.320 about this
01:29:10.820 you know
01:29:11.480 I watch how people
01:29:12.600 are raised
01:29:13.080 okay
01:29:13.540 and sometimes
01:29:14.880 like
01:29:15.200 I interview
01:29:16.300 Stephen A. Smith
01:29:16.940 and Stephen A. Smith
01:29:18.000 is a very famous
01:29:19.620 sports announcer
01:29:20.340 I mean he's incredible
01:29:21.500 sports analyst
01:29:22.320 okay
01:29:22.780 he's incredible
01:29:24.080 he works at ESPN
01:29:24.920 he's pretty much
01:29:25.320 the face of ESPN
01:29:26.160 when he talks
01:29:26.800 people listen
01:29:27.360 okay
01:29:27.720 so I said
01:29:28.700 how'd you become
01:29:29.220 the way you are today
01:29:29.920 he says
01:29:30.080 my mother never
01:29:30.820 let me make an excuse
01:29:32.080 every time something
01:29:33.000 bad happened
01:29:33.560 he says
01:29:33.940 she says
01:29:34.460 what could you
01:29:35.160 have done differently 0.99
01:29:35.820 he's black 0.98
01:29:36.960 he says 0.98
01:29:37.220 my mother never
01:29:38.000 let me use my color
01:29:39.100 as an excuse
01:29:39.800 she never let me
01:29:40.580 once use race
01:29:41.300 never let me use this
01:29:42.140 never
01:29:42.680 so I'm like
01:29:43.380 okay interesting
01:29:44.000 never
01:29:44.900 and anybody who does
01:29:46.120 I see how
01:29:46.840 he talking about
01:29:47.760 how Oprah Winfrey
01:29:48.440 nowadays says
01:29:48.960 this person's like this
01:29:49.880 because of this
01:29:50.680 this person killed somebody
01:29:51.660 because of this
01:29:52.160 I am not 0.98
01:29:52.860 this you killed somebody
01:29:53.680 you killed somebody
01:29:54.300 you did this
01:29:54.720 you did this
01:29:55.100 okay
01:29:55.300 flip that
01:29:55.980 obviously you see
01:29:56.440 a guy like this
01:29:56.880 that went straight
01:29:57.420 to the top
01:29:57.800 sometimes I see
01:29:59.000 you know
01:30:00.060 the parenting philosophy
01:30:02.560 and see if there's any
01:30:04.240 research you've done
01:30:05.520 on this
01:30:05.880 of my son is perfect
01:30:07.780 he can't do anything wrong
01:30:08.820 there's no way in the world
01:30:10.000 my son
01:30:10.860 no way
01:30:11.660 he's perfect
01:30:12.720 this kid is incredible
01:30:14.420 you know
01:30:15.160 my grandson is incredible
01:30:16.400 my daughter
01:30:17.080 no way in the world
01:30:17.920 he didn't do the wrong
01:30:18.820 it's probably the teacher
01:30:19.700 it's probably somebody else
01:30:20.600 what kind of effect
01:30:22.380 does that have
01:30:23.180 on a kid
01:30:23.860 when parents
01:30:24.600 are pitching this kid
01:30:26.000 to be perfect
01:30:27.180 what does it do
01:30:28.300 to us psychologically
01:30:29.300 they're setting them up
01:30:30.600 to really experience
01:30:32.440 some hard knocks
01:30:33.780 and hopefully
01:30:34.820 that child
01:30:35.700 is going to
01:30:36.400 as they go
01:30:37.220 through the hard knocks
01:30:37.900 they'll learn the lessons
01:30:38.740 and not perpetuate
01:30:39.640 that cycle of thinking
01:30:40.860 because that's one of those
01:30:41.600 you know
01:30:42.140 those genetic
01:30:42.620 epigenetic things
01:30:43.520 that come through
01:30:44.280 that has been woken up
01:30:45.800 and that could continue
01:30:46.660 down the line
01:30:47.940 but those
01:30:48.540 they're pretty much
01:30:49.480 setting their kids up
01:30:50.260 to have real hard knocks
01:30:51.620 why is that
01:30:52.080 because it's not realistic
01:30:53.200 because you can't
01:30:54.480 control anyone's choices
01:30:55.460 you cannot control
01:30:56.280 events and circumstances
01:30:57.420 and you cannot control
01:30:58.700 other people's choices
01:30:59.620 you can only control
01:31:00.840 your own reactions
01:31:01.880 which is your own
01:31:02.840 thinking, feeling
01:31:03.460 and choosing
01:31:03.980 I still don't get that
01:31:05.320 though
01:31:05.460 so I'm pitching
01:31:07.220 I'm presenting my kid
01:31:09.040 to be
01:31:09.460 you're so perfect
01:31:10.360 you can't
01:31:10.940 this is an incredible
01:31:12.300 this is the most incredible
01:31:13.220 human being I've met
01:31:13.980 in my life
01:31:14.480 you know
01:31:15.220 you're so special
01:31:16.040 you're amazing
01:31:16.720 you're awesome
01:31:17.360 he doesn't make mistakes
01:31:18.460 how does that affect me
01:31:20.080 negatively
01:31:20.580 isn't that a good thing
01:31:21.960 to say that to my kids
01:31:23.040 no you don't want to say
01:31:24.480 that to your kids
01:31:25.000 all the time
01:31:25.400 because it's not realistic
01:31:26.320 it's not a realistic thing
01:31:28.040 because they
01:31:28.580 you love them
01:31:29.380 for who they are
01:31:30.060 but you're setting a standard
01:31:31.100 and they're going to think
01:31:31.880 well if I do any
01:31:32.580 if I fail
01:31:33.260 which is every day
01:31:34.100 you're going to make
01:31:35.040 some mistake
01:31:35.500 you're going to feel guilt
01:31:36.340 and you're never going
01:31:36.980 to measure up to that
01:31:37.760 so you're always going
01:31:38.380 to have an invalid
01:31:39.180 self-esteem
01:31:40.780 you will never measure up
01:31:42.440 to the perfection
01:31:43.120 that you were presented
01:31:43.940 exactly
01:31:44.480 your identity is affected
01:31:46.240 your identity is affected
01:31:47.360 you're setting yourself
01:31:48.160 wow okay
01:31:48.820 could it have an impact
01:31:50.540 of wanting
01:31:51.000 a lack of commitment
01:31:51.940 every time commitment
01:31:52.600 gets a little bit too close
01:31:53.520 I can't distance myself
01:31:54.580 even suicidal
01:31:55.620 because of not being
01:31:56.800 recognized
01:31:57.240 valued for who you are
01:31:58.320 humans are designed 0.99
01:31:59.600 to be valued
01:32:00.160 I need to value you
01:32:01.220 for you
01:32:01.780 I need to value my child
01:32:03.200 despite the choices
01:32:04.720 that they make
01:32:05.280 even if I don't agree
01:32:06.080 with a whole bunch
01:32:07.060 of them
01:32:07.360 they are going to make
01:32:09.280 choices that I don't
01:32:10.160 agree with
01:32:10.680 or that are wrong
01:32:11.580 but I still value
01:32:12.440 who they are
01:32:13.120 so you think
01:32:13.880 me telling you
01:32:14.920 you're perfect
01:32:15.520 is a form of judgment
01:32:16.580 it is
01:32:17.600 because I've got to
01:32:18.160 measure now up to
01:32:18.980 what you think
01:32:19.680 is perfection
01:32:20.960 wow
01:32:21.940 what's different
01:32:23.860 to someone else's
01:32:25.400 but initially
01:32:26.420 it may sound like
01:32:27.060 a very noble thing
01:32:27.900 you're doing to me
01:32:28.480 you're not
01:32:29.020 I'm not
01:32:29.340 I'm actually saying
01:32:29.980 this is what I need
01:32:30.860 you're filling my need
01:32:31.760 you better fill my need
01:32:32.760 it's very selfish
01:32:33.420 I like you
01:32:34.640 this is very very good
01:32:36.900 I like you
01:32:37.400 so have you seen
01:32:38.560 the movie The Pharaoh
01:32:39.160 have you seen
01:32:39.780 this new movie
01:32:40.500 that came out
01:32:41.060 with
01:32:41.380 it's apparently
01:32:43.080 a Chinese philosophy
01:32:43.900 where the grandmother
01:32:44.580 has throat cancer
01:32:45.600 but apparently
01:32:46.800 in China
01:32:47.220 if you have
01:32:47.600 an illness
01:32:48.640 that you're going
01:32:49.080 to die
01:32:49.400 they don't tell you 0.97
01:32:50.120 about it
01:32:50.540 so they came
01:32:51.640 and they told her
01:32:52.140 hey the doctor
01:32:52.600 said it's terminal
01:32:53.600 illness
01:32:53.900 but they came
01:32:54.320 to the grandma
01:32:54.760 and said
01:32:55.040 no you just
01:32:55.440 got a bad cough
01:32:56.240 so the doctor
01:32:57.300 says this lady
01:32:57.880 has got 3 to 6
01:32:58.600 months to live
01:32:59.140 I'm paraphrasing
01:33:00.440 some of the facts
01:33:01.000 it could be a month
01:33:01.600 to 3 months to live
01:33:02.320 6 years later
01:33:03.420 she's still living
01:33:04.060 because she has
01:33:04.740 no idea
01:33:05.340 that she has
01:33:06.360 throat cancer
01:33:07.260 how much do you
01:33:08.700 believe in that
01:33:09.600 oh my gosh
01:33:10.260 so much
01:33:10.760 mine is 99%
01:33:12.280 we see
01:33:12.820 with the work
01:33:14.260 that we do
01:33:14.820 directly
01:33:15.280 my clinical team
01:33:16.460 and the research
01:33:16.940 we do
01:33:17.260 we see that
01:33:18.000 if you're
01:33:19.360 your mind
01:33:19.780 is being managed
01:33:20.660 and you have
01:33:22.440 a mindset
01:33:22.940 that is one
01:33:23.800 of seeing
01:33:25.160 opportunities
01:33:25.680 learning
01:33:26.260 all the stuff
01:33:26.780 we've been
01:33:27.020 speaking about
01:33:27.640 that mind
01:33:28.540 will control
01:33:29.220 the body
01:33:29.600 because the mind
01:33:30.260 controls the body
01:33:31.040 so we see
01:33:31.840 people that are
01:33:32.640 on medication
01:33:33.400 for cancer
01:33:34.320 people that have
01:33:35.920 got these diagnoses
01:33:36.700 and they live
01:33:37.280 beyond
01:33:37.700 because of their
01:33:38.760 attitude
01:33:39.160 their state of mind
01:33:39.900 now that could
01:33:40.400 that could come
01:33:41.500 from someone
01:33:42.560 not telling you
01:33:43.360 or you hear it
01:33:44.460 but you're just
01:33:44.860 you're not going to
01:33:45.760 my mindset
01:33:46.500 such that I'm
01:33:47.100 going to make it
01:33:47.480 you hear people
01:33:48.180 that go through
01:33:48.780 chemo
01:33:49.260 they have very
01:33:49.980 mild chemo
01:33:50.820 and they get
01:33:51.360 so many side effects
01:33:52.620 other people
01:33:53.160 that get heavy chemo
01:33:54.440 no side effects
01:33:55.620 drugs
01:33:56.340 medication
01:33:56.900 medication is
01:33:57.660 only as effective
01:33:58.920 as you believe
01:33:59.580 it's effective
01:33:59.960 is that perception
01:34:00.860 perception
01:34:01.860 is that also
01:34:02.560 part of that
01:34:03.160 perception
01:34:03.740 yes it drives
01:34:04.780 the effectiveness
01:34:05.320 got it
01:34:05.940 this is what you're
01:34:06.460 thinking right now
01:34:07.120 driving your genome
01:34:07.940 your genome
01:34:08.460 is in every cell
01:34:09.300 so how you're
01:34:10.120 functioning physically
01:34:10.900 you're making
01:34:12.000 810,000 cells
01:34:13.620 every second
01:34:14.220 the quality
01:34:15.020 is based on
01:34:16.020 your perception
01:34:16.520 your eye factor
01:34:17.260 your mind
01:34:17.760 this think
01:34:18.400 feel choose thing
01:34:19.280 do you think
01:34:20.100 there's a genius
01:34:20.620 in all of us
01:34:21.200 I do
01:34:22.000 I do believe that
01:34:22.760 and it's different
01:34:23.360 it's different
01:34:24.120 for everybody
01:34:24.620 do you believe
01:34:25.640 there's a link
01:34:26.480 between madness
01:34:27.340 and success
01:34:28.180 absolutely
01:34:29.400 because what is madness
01:34:30.420 so there's definitely
01:34:31.460 you know
01:34:31.920 everyone's a little crazy
01:34:32.860 yeah I would agree
01:34:34.980 with that
01:34:35.360 and then do you think
01:34:36.440 there's a certain
01:34:37.400 madness or philosophy
01:34:38.820 or approach
01:34:39.420 to raising boys
01:34:40.240 versus girls 0.99
01:34:41.320 I hate this book
01:34:42.420 I don't agree
01:34:42.940 with one word
01:34:43.480 in this book
01:34:44.020 you're being serious
01:34:44.820 yeah well
01:34:45.460 maybe there's a few
01:34:46.420 words but this is
01:34:47.660 the boys and girls
01:34:49.100 are different
01:34:49.640 tell me why
01:34:50.720 you know who he is
01:34:51.760 oh absolutely
01:34:52.660 absolutely
01:34:53.500 I think there's a lot
01:34:54.500 of everyone's got
01:34:55.320 some truth
01:34:55.860 wow
01:34:56.320 what is the one part
01:34:57.980 about the book
01:34:58.400 you remember
01:34:58.720 that you don't
01:34:59.200 like
01:34:59.700 well there's
01:35:00.680 there's a lot
01:35:01.180 of issues
01:35:02.160 but the whole thing
01:35:02.920 is it's almost
01:35:03.600 like this
01:35:04.100 it's a control
01:35:04.920 there's a lot
01:35:05.320 of control
01:35:05.700 that this is
01:35:06.240 what you have
01:35:06.800 to be
01:35:07.220 as opposed
01:35:08.080 to
01:35:08.400 fair enough
01:35:09.840 okay
01:35:10.000 yeah
01:35:10.400 no I mean
01:35:11.080 there's raising up
01:35:12.800 boys raising up
01:35:13.420 girls bringing up
01:35:14.100 boys
01:35:14.820 there's a bunch
01:35:15.260 of them
01:35:15.460 okay
01:35:15.740 male-female brain 1.00
01:35:16.760 there's differences
01:35:17.300 but we've got
01:35:18.040 what I always say
01:35:19.660 about male
01:35:19.980 because I get asked
01:35:20.620 this question
01:35:21.020 all the time
01:35:21.640 what I think
01:35:22.880 is the most
01:35:23.280 important thing
01:35:23.940 is first of all
01:35:24.620 the I factor
01:35:25.360 which expresses
01:35:26.260 itself through
01:35:27.080 maleness
01:35:27.660 or femaleness 0.92
01:35:28.300 definitely different
01:35:29.000 there's different
01:35:29.420 structures
01:35:29.840 sizes in the brain
01:35:31.060 and we're different
01:35:31.940 do you subscribe
01:35:32.560 to the whole
01:35:32.860 five love languages
01:35:33.600 or no
01:35:34.040 it's a way
01:35:35.240 of understanding
01:35:35.820 I don't think
01:35:36.340 it's as fixed
01:35:36.960 I think it's
01:35:37.500 a way of understanding
01:35:38.720 things
01:35:39.160 32 years you're married
01:35:40.160 to your man
01:35:41.300 when he starts
01:35:42.180 speaking
01:35:42.560 he seems like
01:35:43.800 he's got an ego
01:35:44.400 what I mean by ego
01:35:45.340 I don't mean a negative
01:35:46.080 he seems like
01:35:46.660 he's a man's man 0.63
01:35:47.300 he doesn't seem
01:35:48.020 like he's a
01:35:48.700 you know
01:35:49.540 you got a strong
01:35:50.520 personality
01:35:51.040 sometimes strong
01:35:51.940 personality gets
01:35:52.820 the partner
01:35:53.860 to be a little bit
01:35:54.580 more timid
01:35:55.080 but no
01:35:55.780 he's very strong
01:35:56.660 he came
01:35:57.180 took a charge
01:35:57.900 here's what we got
01:35:58.620 here's what we brought
01:35:59.280 so what have you
01:36:00.740 done to
01:36:01.480 better communicate
01:36:02.680 and deal with
01:36:03.320 your husband
01:36:03.780 for 32 years
01:36:04.640 we have so much
01:36:06.120 respect for each other
01:36:07.040 he's my greatest fan
01:36:08.800 and I'm his greatest fan
01:36:09.920 he is at every event
01:36:11.600 I do
01:36:12.280 he's heard me speak
01:36:13.020 for 32 years
01:36:13.900 so that is a huge
01:36:15.380 part of it
01:36:15.820 and also we agree
01:36:16.740 to disagree
01:36:17.260 and we will have
01:36:18.080 an argument
01:36:18.660 we'll get it out
01:36:19.480 do it once
01:36:20.020 yes
01:36:20.780 we never go to bed
01:36:21.600 without
01:36:21.820 we made a decision
01:36:22.880 at the beginning
01:36:23.380 when we first started dating
01:36:24.540 we would never go to bed
01:36:26.120 without resolving an argument
01:36:27.340 so if we stay up all night
01:36:28.480 we will never go to bed
01:36:29.820 without saying
01:36:30.380 I love you
01:36:30.820 I'm sorry
01:36:31.280 and listening to the other side
01:36:32.960 even if it took a little
01:36:33.760 screaming to get there
01:36:34.700 do you put this stuff
01:36:35.960 on his brain
01:36:36.420 when you're talking to him
01:36:37.200 just to kind of see
01:36:37.740 if he's paying attention
01:36:38.760 or not
01:36:39.080 like what was that
01:36:39.620 Q-E-E-G 0.99
01:36:40.500 Q-E-E-G 0.99
01:36:42.280 do you put that there
01:36:43.040 and say
01:36:43.220 are you paying attention
01:36:44.440 or not
01:36:44.920 what is going on
01:36:45.740 over here
01:36:46.160 exactly
01:36:46.560 my kids say
01:36:47.700 mom don't psychoanalyze me 0.52
01:36:49.060 that's the part
01:36:49.940 because sometimes
01:36:50.760 you know
01:36:51.060 when you are
01:36:51.720 when you have a mother
01:36:52.680 like yourself
01:36:53.260 or a wife
01:36:53.960 it's somebody
01:36:55.360 that majors in psychology
01:36:56.600 or communication
01:36:57.380 all that stuff
01:36:57.880 it's always like
01:36:58.540 hey
01:36:59.100 how do I allow
01:37:00.460 it to happen
01:37:01.440 without knowing
01:37:02.000 overanalyzing
01:37:03.180 certain things
01:37:03.840 that the person
01:37:04.320 is trying to say
01:37:04.820 or feel
01:37:05.120 you know
01:37:05.260 what normally happens
01:37:05.940 is they all turn
01:37:06.780 their back on me
01:37:07.240 and say
01:37:07.440 mom you said
01:37:08.280 there's a choice
01:37:08.880 you know
01:37:09.220 so they hold me
01:37:10.320 accountable for what I say
01:37:11.540 which is cool
01:37:12.340 yeah that's very good
01:37:13.240 so look
01:37:13.580 I've really enjoyed
01:37:14.200 this conversation
01:37:14.860 thank you
01:37:15.120 I feel like
01:37:15.320 it just went by
01:37:15.980 very quickly
01:37:16.580 let's talk about
01:37:17.900 your book
01:37:18.240 do you want to talk
01:37:18.780 about your latest book
01:37:19.460 that came out
01:37:20.020 yeah
01:37:20.660 that's
01:37:20.940 think learn succeed
01:37:21.720 and that
01:37:22.240 I talk about
01:37:23.000 the current situation
01:37:24.400 technology
01:37:25.180 how it's changed
01:37:25.880 our thinking
01:37:26.360 I talk about
01:37:27.180 15 mindsets
01:37:28.180 like
01:37:28.440 possibilities
01:37:29.400 mindset
01:37:29.920 and expectation
01:37:30.580 and a mindset
01:37:31.700 is basically
01:37:32.380 how you see
01:37:33.020 the day
01:37:33.280 your perspective
01:37:33.780 you put up a post
01:37:34.560 the other day
01:37:34.920 that I use a lot
01:37:35.600 Prince William
01:37:36.500 the one finger
01:37:37.260 and the three fingers
01:37:38.100 do you remember
01:37:38.900 putting that up
01:37:39.460 okay
01:37:39.680 I use that a lot
01:37:40.600 to explain mindsets
01:37:41.600 it's your perspective
01:37:42.360 so this book deals
01:37:43.500 a lot with how you perceive
01:37:44.640 you've either got a one finger
01:37:45.660 perspective for the day
01:37:46.560 or not
01:37:47.020 and there's 15 different
01:37:48.260 perspectives that kind of
01:37:49.180 set you for the day
01:37:50.040 and set you for the week
01:37:51.200 and then I also talk in there
01:37:52.900 about how you can understand
01:37:54.060 the unique way
01:37:54.780 that you think
01:37:55.300 feel and choose
01:37:56.060 I developed a profile
01:37:57.460 for my patients
01:37:58.180 years ago
01:37:58.680 that I researched
01:37:59.320 clinically
01:37:59.680 over the years
01:38:00.780 and so on
01:38:01.080 and I've put a very
01:38:02.220 simple version of it
01:38:03.180 in there
01:38:03.500 there's no wrong answer
01:38:04.580 there's no measurement
01:38:05.360 it's simply
01:38:06.280 you understanding
01:38:07.600 how you uniquely
01:38:08.840 think feel and choose
01:38:09.740 because we've got to
01:38:10.580 realize that you're
01:38:11.280 different to me
01:38:11.880 and when people do that
01:38:13.080 you learn more effectively
01:38:13.980 your relationships
01:38:14.720 improve
01:38:15.200 so it's a really
01:38:15.740 exciting thing
01:38:17.320 and then there's
01:38:17.760 a lot about memory
01:38:18.620 the five steps
01:38:19.480 those five steps
01:38:20.200 how to build your brain
01:38:21.600 I focus tremendously
01:38:22.460 in this book
01:38:23.060 on how to build your brain
01:38:23.960 because we've spoken
01:38:25.060 a lot about detox
01:38:25.980 the five steps
01:38:26.820 I said we limit it
01:38:28.140 to 15 to 30 minutes a day
01:38:29.860 so when you're detoxing
01:38:31.280 you use the five steps
01:38:32.440 because that's how
01:38:33.400 five steps are based
01:38:34.560 on how the science of thought
01:38:36.080 how thought forms
01:38:37.180 in your brain
01:38:37.640 so what your mind does
01:38:39.040 goes through five steps
01:38:40.080 to grow thought
01:38:40.740 so you use the same five steps
01:38:42.180 to break down toxic thoughts
01:38:43.480 and replace them with healthy
01:38:44.520 you use the same five steps
01:38:46.280 to build your brain
01:38:47.040 and every human
01:38:48.400 should spend at least
01:38:49.940 one to two hours a day
01:38:51.020 learning new information
01:38:52.120 to the level
01:38:53.360 where they actually
01:38:54.180 can teach it
01:38:55.040 one to two hours a day
01:38:56.340 learning new information
01:38:57.240 to be able to teach it
01:38:58.100 exactly
01:38:58.400 so you could spread
01:38:59.320 that across the day
01:39:00.120 you could
01:39:00.500 and if you think
01:39:01.060 of how much time
01:39:01.620 we waste on Facebook
01:39:02.440 and silly things
01:39:03.920 it's deep thinking
01:39:05.600 that deep intellectual thought
01:39:06.680 otherwise your brain
01:39:07.320 builds up toxic waste
01:39:08.240 affects your sleep
01:39:08.920 and we didn't even
01:39:09.640 touch on sleep
01:39:10.280 I definitely spent
01:39:11.460 my two hours today
01:39:12.460 you know
01:39:13.000 spending time with you
01:39:14.100 I learned a lot
01:39:14.620 spending time with you
01:39:15.520 doc appreciate you
01:39:16.820 for coming out
01:39:17.360 this was a blast
01:39:18.220 I really enjoyed it
01:39:19.020 I did too
01:39:19.600 it was amazing
01:39:20.220 thank you so much
01:39:21.000 I really appreciate it
01:39:21.980 great meeting you
01:39:22.820 and thank you for what you do
01:39:23.660 thanks everybody
01:39:24.300 for listening
01:39:24.860 and by the way
01:39:25.400 if you haven't already
01:39:26.040 subscribed to
01:39:26.740 Valuetainment on iTunes
01:39:28.020 please do so
01:39:29.360 give us a five star
01:39:30.680 write a review
01:39:31.560 if you haven't already
01:39:32.360 and if you have any questions
01:39:33.480 for me that you may have
01:39:34.500 you can always find me
01:39:35.580 on Snapchat
01:39:36.100 Instagram
01:39:36.900 Facebook
01:39:37.620 or YouTube
01:39:38.320 just search my name
01:39:39.260 Patrick Middavid
01:39:40.260 and I actually do
01:39:41.480 respond back
01:39:42.340 when you snap me
01:39:43.200 or send me a message
01:39:44.260 on Instagram
01:39:45.020 with that being said
01:39:45.880 have a great day today
01:39:46.920 take care everybody
01:39:47.620 bye bye