Valuetainment - Episode 425： Neuroscientist Explains Brain & Mind Connection

00:00:00.000 30 seconds.

00:00:01.800 Did you ever think you would make it?

00:00:04.220 I feel I'm so close I could take sweet victory.

00:00:07.620 I know this life meant for me.

00:00:10.780 Yeah, why would you bet on Goliath when we got Bet David?

00:00:14.580 Valuetainment, giving value is contagious.

00:00:16.420 This world of entrepreneurs, we get no value to haters.

00:00:19.140 How they run, homie?

00:00:20.120 Look what I become.

00:00:21.400 I'm the one.

00:00:22.520 I'm Patrick Bedev, your host of Valuetainment.

00:00:24.080 Today I'm sitting down with Dr. Caroline Leaf,

00:00:25.780 and we're going to talk about how our brain, our mind,

00:00:28.520 how all of that stuff works.

00:00:30.460 I welcome you, and doctor, thanks for coming out.

00:00:32.600 Thank you.

00:00:33.200 It's such an honor to be here.

00:00:33.960 For me, when I think about cognitive neuroscientists

00:00:37.380 or somebody's listening saying,

00:00:38.920 communication pathologist,

00:00:40.960 what does that really mean to an average person like myself?

00:00:43.500 Okay, so in simple language, I study the mind-brain connection,

00:00:47.060 which I've done for 30 years, do clinical research.

00:00:49.840 So I look at what is the mind, how does that work?

00:00:53.200 What is the brain, how does that work?

00:00:54.840 What's the relationship, and what's the impact on how we function

00:00:57.680 in terms of our behaviors, our emotions,

00:01:00.360 how we function in day-to-day life, education, work, whatever.

00:01:03.940 So it's looking at all of that.

00:01:05.700 So as a clinical, when I practice clinically,

00:01:08.300 which I did for 25 years,

00:01:10.140 I would look at a patient that would come to me with whatever,

00:01:12.840 brain trauma or physical trauma, emotional trauma,

00:01:16.120 learning issues, Alzheimer's, whatever.

00:01:18.560 I would look at the external behaviors, social, emotional, cognitive,

00:01:23.500 what they're doing,

00:01:24.280 and then track back to what's going on in the thought life.

00:01:27.120 So in other words, what's happening in the mind.

00:01:29.500 And then also look at the impact on the brain and the body

00:01:33.060 and then try to address all the levels.

00:01:35.600 That's pretty much it.

00:01:36.280 Very interesting.

00:01:36.800 So did you also deal with bipolar, ADHD,

00:01:39.920 depression, anxiety, panic attacks, schizof.

00:01:43.080 Did you deal with all of that?

00:01:43.920 I deal with all of those,

00:01:44.760 and I have a very different narrative for that.

00:01:46.760 I can't wait to get into it.

00:01:47.840 Okay.

00:01:48.180 I can't wait to get into it.

00:01:49.160 That's a good one.

00:01:49.880 That's a really good one to get into.

00:01:51.120 I have some questions for you on that

00:01:51.940 because you experience a lot of that,

00:01:55.180 and the business world is filled with a lot of those personalities.

00:01:58.520 There's a link also to success with it,

00:02:00.360 you know, where I'm curious to know how you think about that.

00:02:01.820 It's a good way to go.

00:02:02.660 So look, you have the mind, you have the brain.

00:02:04.940 What's the difference between the mind and the brain?

00:02:06.580 Okay, brilliant question.

00:02:07.720 So your mind is the most simple definition,

00:02:10.300 the unique way that you think and feel and choose.

00:02:14.100 So those three go together.

00:02:15.560 As you think, you always feel.

00:02:17.200 You're always thinking.

00:02:17.980 We're thinking beings.

00:02:18.760 You never stop thinking 24-7.

00:02:21.080 But as soon as you think, you feel.

00:02:22.720 So you're always feeling 24-7.

00:02:25.120 And as you think and feel,

00:02:26.440 it automatically leads to choices.

00:02:28.760 So you think, feel, choose.

00:02:29.860 Think, feel, choose.

00:02:30.720 Think, think, feel, choose.

00:02:31.880 You're doing this on two levels.

00:02:34.700 The one level is the conscious level

00:02:36.600 that you're in when you're awake.

00:02:39.140 And that level happens around every 10 seconds.

00:02:41.840 We are consciously and deliberately aware

00:02:44.420 of thinking, feeling, and choosing.

00:02:46.360 And the way we do that

00:02:47.220 has massive impact on mental health,

00:02:49.120 which I know we're going to unpack.

00:02:50.600 Sure.

00:02:50.980 The other level is the non-conscious level.

00:02:54.460 So not subconscious, but non-conscious.

00:02:56.260 That operates 24-7.

00:02:58.240 And at that level, we operate at 10 to the 17,

00:03:01.040 which is about 400 billion plus actions per second.

00:03:03.980 That's crazy.

00:03:04.300 It's crazy.

00:03:04.740 So we're functioning on these incredible levels

00:03:07.580 of speed, and that's all mind.

00:03:11.420 This mind is all this thinking, feeling,

00:03:13.360 choosing on these two different levels.

00:03:15.800 This power, energy, whatever you want to call it,

00:03:19.120 moves through your physical brain.

00:03:21.780 So your brain is a responder to your mind.

00:03:24.960 So there's an interaction.

00:03:26.660 They dual two things, but they interact.

00:03:29.200 You can't have one without the other.

00:03:30.860 So our mind moves through our brain,

00:03:33.240 and then our brain responds on a chemical level,

00:03:36.060 quantum level, electromagnetic level, and genetic level.

00:03:39.400 So we literally put stuff in our brain,

00:03:41.460 and then our brain responds and builds that stuff

00:03:44.420 into the cells of the brain,

00:03:46.160 and that instantly influences all the cells of the body.

00:03:48.940 So this brain and body collectively,

00:03:51.560 the two together, so the brain and the body,

00:03:53.740 are made of about 75 to 100 trillion cells.

00:03:58.160 And that brain and body, it's a big number.

00:04:01.040 And that's only 1% of who you are as a human.

00:04:03.520 So 99% of who you are as a human is this mind thing,

00:04:08.080 this unique you-ness, this type you,

00:04:11.380 this Patrick, this Caroline.

00:04:12.560 That's what separates us from everybody.

00:04:14.740 Yes.

00:04:15.320 Okay, so-

00:04:15.960 That's the defining disconnect.

00:04:18.220 Because we've all got the brain.

00:04:19.440 Right.

00:04:20.280 But the way you use your brain is going to be different.

00:04:23.460 So we've all got the same basic neurophysiology

00:04:25.520 in our brain structures, et cetera.

00:04:27.820 The way I use my brain,

00:04:29.440 it's pretty much my signature,

00:04:30.640 my thumbprint to the world.

00:04:31.800 Exactly.

00:04:32.240 That's what it is.

00:04:32.800 Exactly.

00:04:33.180 You'll see that in the brain.

00:04:34.060 The brain is literally like a thumbprint.

00:04:35.620 So in essence, I can be raised in the same household,

00:04:39.020 experience the same challenges,

00:04:40.080 same divorce, same parents.

00:04:41.340 I'm a twin.

00:04:42.620 Everything could be identical to the same experiences.

00:04:45.460 I can be looking like somebody else.

00:04:47.860 My attractiveness is the same level as somebody else.

00:04:49.960 My level of popularity in school

00:04:51.220 is the same as somebody else.

00:04:52.740 I date the same kind of a girl or a guy as somebody else.

00:04:55.540 Same culture, same belief system, same-

00:04:58.000 Same religion, same church I go to.

00:04:59.600 I'm an atheist, I'm a Christian, I'm a Scientologist.

00:05:01.760 By 20 years old,

00:05:03.280 I can still view the world in a different way than you.

00:05:06.200 You've done it from birth.

00:05:07.900 You've done it from birth.

00:05:09.060 Totally, totally different.

00:05:10.140 And this is why we see studies of identical twins

00:05:12.220 where you'll have one that's in old age.

00:05:15.680 Same thing, just as you described,

00:05:17.140 and one gets Alzheimer's

00:05:18.180 and one is still firing up and still going along.

00:05:20.820 You know, how you perceive things

00:05:23.180 makes your body work for you or against you.

00:05:25.820 And this is the clinical research that I do.

00:05:28.060 We're showing this right down to the level of your DNA.

00:05:30.300 And you see, you don't even have to do the research

00:05:33.840 to know gut instinct.

00:05:35.180 It's all gut instinct.

00:05:36.000 You're not the same as someone else.

00:05:37.580 Yeah, that's crazy to me

00:05:38.480 because what that makes me think about, Doc,

00:05:40.780 and by the way, if you don't mind me calling you Doc,

00:05:42.360 what that makes me think about, Doc,

00:05:44.460 is, you know, in America,

00:05:48.640 I was reading a study the other day.

00:05:50.040 I was talking to Jordan Peterson at an event that we had

00:05:52.040 and asking a question.

00:05:52.720 I said, let me ask you this.

00:05:53.940 Are we born Democrats and Republicans?

00:05:57.240 Like, are we born?

00:05:58.560 Because I remember I'm talking to someone's girlfriend

00:06:03.160 at that time.

00:06:04.360 I said, let me ask you a question.

00:06:05.860 And politically, we were talking about economics.

00:06:07.660 And she completely disagrees with capitalism.

00:06:10.600 I said, how good were you in math in high school?

00:06:12.720 She said, I can't stay in math.

00:06:14.240 I said, I'm curious to know how much math plays a role.

00:06:16.040 So for me, I want to know, are we born a certain way?

00:06:20.360 You know, today we were handling an issue in the company.

00:06:23.440 One person.

00:06:24.320 They can't help themselves but complain nonstop about an issue.

00:06:28.220 And somebody else about the same issue is excited about it.

00:06:31.140 Then somebody called me and says,

00:06:32.340 Pat, what can I do to better this?

00:06:33.920 I said, if for seven years this person's been like this,

00:06:36.860 you and I can't change it.

00:06:38.100 The person's got to want to change it

00:06:39.320 for that to be taking place.

00:06:40.620 So that person that's born with a different perception

00:06:43.380 of the world, can I be raised with a perception

00:06:46.340 of the world where I'm always looking at the glass half empty?

00:06:48.640 Or can that still be fixed for somebody?

00:06:51.840 That can be fixed.

00:06:52.780 So here's the thing.

00:06:53.480 Are you sure about that?

00:06:53.900 Yes, here's the good news.

00:06:55.780 The good news is that we...

00:06:57.140 Don't be mispositive here.

00:06:58.060 No, no, no.

00:06:58.580 I'm going to give you...

00:06:59.520 I'm going to give you...

00:07:00.440 No, I don't do that.

00:07:01.280 I don't even believe in that.

00:07:02.680 So that's not where I'm at.

00:07:04.180 But what I do know is from this neuroscientific research,

00:07:07.380 plus from quantum physics, plus from experience,

00:07:10.500 plus from mind research, all of it,

00:07:12.060 we see that there isn't a single structure,

00:07:15.320 for example, in the brain,

00:07:16.460 a single circuit, a single cell

00:07:18.500 in the entire human body and brain

00:07:20.660 that is designed for seeing the glass half empty.

00:07:24.480 We are designed to see the glass half full.

00:07:26.660 We literally, at a quantum level,

00:07:29.020 our body, you see us physically now,

00:07:31.540 we're looking at each other,

00:07:32.660 but at your most fundamental level,

00:07:34.660 you're literally waves of energy.

00:07:36.120 And those waves of energy,

00:07:37.860 the quantum physicists, the mathematicians,

00:07:40.600 for example, Sir Roger Penrose,

00:07:42.240 who's the top mathematician of the century,

00:07:44.660 in my opinion, and many people's opinions,

00:07:46.760 they've done the calculations,

00:07:48.180 literally showing that we are made of love

00:07:51.060 and we are immersed in gravitational fields

00:07:53.900 that have the qualities of love.

00:07:55.400 So now let me take that.

00:07:56.800 That is, as a default mode,

00:07:58.260 humanity is designed to operate in love.

00:08:00.240 And I'm not sounding all fluffy here

00:08:02.080 and over whatever.

00:08:03.340 I'm being a realist.

00:08:04.340 I'm a very real scientist

00:08:06.620 and I believe science is very spiritual.

00:08:08.520 So it's a very strong connect.

00:08:10.800 You can't separate the two.

00:08:12.160 So we see scientifically a beautiful thing

00:08:14.680 happening through mathematics,

00:08:16.120 through quantum physics.

00:08:16.880 We see a description of humanity

00:08:18.780 as being this love concept.

00:08:20.980 Now we know that if you go across every culture,

00:08:23.100 if you deal with every human,

00:08:24.140 if you talk to every human on this planet

00:08:25.460 that ever was and ever will be,

00:08:27.300 there's one common thing that we all agree on

00:08:29.060 and that is we love our families

00:08:31.080 or we want to operate in love

00:08:32.380 or we need love to function.

00:08:33.640 It's the number one addiction.

00:08:35.560 People cannot live without love.

00:08:37.220 People die from a lack of love.

00:08:38.780 You literally can shut your body down

00:08:40.540 and die from love.

00:08:41.560 Wow.

00:08:41.820 In this day and age,

00:08:43.360 we have people dying at the same rate

00:08:46.100 from the lack of love

00:08:47.240 in isolation as we do from cardiovascular disease,

00:08:50.680 which is pretty much a number one killer.

00:08:52.360 How do you measure that?

00:08:53.360 They do.

00:08:54.020 There's a lot of research statistics.

00:08:55.360 You measure lack of love?

00:08:56.200 Yes, because you see it shutting down.

00:08:58.680 That's the research that I'm in.

00:08:59.740 So you can see lack of love is a big word.

00:09:01.800 You can bring it down to how people are managing stress

00:09:04.280 on a day-to-day basis

00:09:05.220 or chronic inflammation in the body

00:09:06.700 or chronic stress ongoing.

00:09:08.300 So if you're constantly isolated,

00:09:10.260 you don't get the correct feedback

00:09:12.420 because there's a certain feedback

00:09:15.080 that you're getting from interacting with others.

00:09:17.380 It's like we are building on each other.

00:09:19.100 We are growing each other.

00:09:20.640 We are sending...

00:09:21.780 Einstein spoke about the photons that we...

00:09:24.200 Einstein caught my eye over there.

00:09:26.060 About the photons that we generate from our body.

00:09:28.680 I'm generating photons to you.

00:09:30.020 I'm generating photons that are operating in love

00:09:32.600 in terms of having a conversation.

00:09:35.240 We are agreeing to agree or disagree.

00:09:36.800 There isn't an enmity between us.

00:09:38.720 So it's growing us.

00:09:40.240 And humans are designed for that.

00:09:41.800 What are the stories that grab us the most?

00:09:43.780 I fully agree with you.

00:09:44.620 The stories that are of humanity.

00:09:46.340 So that's all basically...

00:09:47.440 And we see that.

00:09:47.960 So we see it neuroscientifically.

00:09:49.360 We see it quantum physics-wise.

00:09:50.920 We see we design for that.

00:09:52.240 So why does someone see the glass half empty?

00:09:54.500 And why do I say we can change it?

00:09:56.360 I don't believe in the happiness industry

00:09:57.780 where you can go and get something

00:09:58.800 and put it in and now suddenly you're happy.

00:10:00.520 I don't believe in positive affirmations.

00:10:02.560 They're band-aids.

00:10:03.500 You've got an issue.

00:10:04.280 You slap a positive affirmation on.

00:10:05.800 It's not going to fix anything.

00:10:07.280 What we have to look at is

00:10:08.780 why am I saying the glass is half empty?

00:10:12.080 So that is my perception.

00:10:13.660 Why?

00:10:14.100 There's a reason.

00:10:14.840 So as soon as we move out of

00:10:17.780 that massive definition of what love is

00:10:20.600 because it basically is being a decent human

00:10:22.260 and it's got a multitude of infinite ways of viewing that.

00:10:26.220 As soon as we move out of that,

00:10:28.260 there's a disconnect between humans,

00:10:30.860 between how we're functioning,

00:10:32.020 between how we fit in the world,

00:10:33.160 between our impact in the world, etc.

00:10:36.000 And as soon as we do that,

00:10:37.680 that's going to have a consequence

00:10:40.000 because your mind is moving through your brain.

00:10:42.360 Your brain builds that perception physically into your brain.

00:10:46.580 So you're thinking, feeling, choosing,

00:10:48.120 moment by moment of every day.

00:10:49.840 And if here I take a scenario

00:10:51.080 where I'm constantly seeing a negative thing,

00:10:54.780 you talked about your guy who can't see beyond this,

00:10:56.940 whatever the situation.

00:10:57.840 So if I have now, for more than 63 days,

00:11:01.940 constantly thought in a certain way,

00:11:03.800 I have built a very strong tree in my brain.

00:11:07.160 That's why I've got trees here.

00:11:08.600 A tree is a thought.

00:11:09.940 Our thoughts are real things.

00:11:11.760 They look like trees.

00:11:13.220 They occupy mental real estate.

00:11:15.320 They're made of proteins.

00:11:16.320 I agree.

00:11:16.900 They're 100%.

00:11:17.840 They are totally.

00:11:18.720 Right now you are growing

00:11:19.940 at the speed of 400 billion actions.

00:11:21.760 You're converting my words,

00:11:22.800 and so are the listeners,

00:11:23.820 into trees in their brain.

00:11:25.100 Hopefully they're building nice, healthy trees

00:11:26.660 about what we're saying.

00:11:28.340 But now if you've got a habit,

00:11:29.560 if you've done something for years,

00:11:31.560 and you've thought in a way for years,

00:11:33.620 because of an experience,

00:11:35.900 because of environment,

00:11:37.840 so there's nurture.

00:11:38.960 You're born with this,

00:11:40.060 as I've mentioned,

00:11:41.200 this wired for love design.

00:11:42.900 We're in nurture environment

00:11:44.480 and all the other stuff you described.

00:11:46.120 Now there's the I factor.

00:11:47.780 The two twins going through life,

00:11:49.240 same thing,

00:11:49.680 but how are they seeing it?

00:11:50.840 So each experience

00:11:52.060 is now adding more and more layers

00:11:54.820 to my initial core.

00:11:56.420 So here I am born,

00:11:57.520 but here I am perceiving.

00:11:59.280 I may perceive the two twins.

00:12:01.620 One perceives a relationship in this way.

00:12:03.980 One perceives a situation in this way.

00:12:05.640 Two different networks build in the brain.

00:12:08.300 And as you keep thinking in that certain way,

00:12:10.440 so you strengthen.

00:12:11.480 Whatever you think about the most

00:12:12.680 grows into a toxic thought.

00:12:14.100 I see that.

00:12:15.100 So that's the pattern.

00:12:15.880 I fully see that.

00:12:17.040 Here's a question then.

00:12:18.120 So can I be born more negative than you?

00:12:21.700 No, you can't be born more negative.

00:12:23.700 But what you can have,

00:12:24.820 which is total science,

00:12:25.960 it's epigenetics,

00:12:27.060 your DNA will come through

00:12:29.000 from your parents.

00:12:30.520 So it goes through the sperm and the ova.

00:12:32.540 But that DNA is not.

00:12:33.800 You've got two types of DNA

00:12:35.240 that come through.

00:12:35.940 So you're born with your genetic blueprint,

00:12:38.140 and that genetic blueprint

00:12:39.100 is this wired for love perfection.

00:12:40.780 On top of that,

00:12:42.520 we have...

00:12:42.860 Say that one more time.

00:12:43.420 So you've got a gene code

00:12:45.640 that is basically perfect.

00:12:47.380 Okay.

00:12:47.900 On top of that...

00:12:49.040 You believe that we're born perfectly.

00:12:50.400 Oh, yes, I do,

00:12:51.340 because I can show you scientifically.

00:12:52.640 So let me explain how this works.

00:12:54.140 So you've got a basic core.

00:12:55.780 Then on top of that,

00:12:56.820 you've got the DNA from...

00:12:58.240 That's come through generations,

00:12:59.260 and that's the imperfect stuff.

00:13:00.640 So humans make choices.

00:13:03.060 When you make choices,

00:13:03.860 it becomes part of our DNA.

00:13:05.660 That DNA is there constantly.

00:13:08.020 It's you putting it out in the world

00:13:09.580 and what you say

00:13:10.160 it's passing through the sperm

00:13:11.140 and the ova.

00:13:11.860 So when you were born,

00:13:12.740 you were born with you,

00:13:14.080 plus things from your parents,

00:13:16.320 generations back, whatever.

00:13:17.680 So you've got a bunch of imperfection

00:13:19.320 on top of perfection.

00:13:20.560 But I'm born with imperfection as well.

00:13:22.780 Yes, so it's...

00:13:23.360 Okay, so that makes sense.

00:13:26.440 Okay, sorry.

00:13:26.900 I maybe said it wrong.

00:13:27.880 You born your core...

00:13:28.180 Okay, you said we're born perfect.

00:13:29.780 Okay, we're born...

00:13:30.800 We're not born blank slate.

00:13:31.980 We're not born perfect.

00:13:32.720 Let me rephrase it.

00:13:33.460 We are born with a core that's perfect

00:13:35.160 with a bunch of other stuff on top.

00:13:38.000 And what we see,

00:13:38.660 we can even track disease back.

00:13:39.920 Disease is lifestyle related.

00:13:41.520 Lifestyle is choices,

00:13:42.720 thinking how we respond to the world

00:13:44.160 as we mutate genes

00:13:45.380 so we get the propensity to disease.

00:13:47.540 But only 5% is going to come

00:13:50.620 from that gene propensity.

00:13:51.880 So you've got the stuff inside of you

00:13:53.660 on top of your original core design.

00:13:56.380 And that is now activated to nurturing.

00:13:58.540 So let's say now your parents were depressed

00:13:59.940 and you've got a history

00:14:01.040 of people being very depressed in your family

00:14:02.960 or very negative,

00:14:03.860 just negative, depressed.

00:14:06.060 Like people that just...

00:14:07.020 Or you see the glass half empty.

00:14:09.080 So now you're born with that,

00:14:11.040 those mutated genes

00:14:12.320 on top of your genes.

00:14:13.500 Here's the great news.

00:14:14.380 They're born...

00:14:15.100 You're born with them asleep.

00:14:16.540 They're dormant.

00:14:17.080 It's called dormancy.

00:14:18.440 So the genes are dormant,

00:14:19.660 which means that your...

00:14:21.380 The positive genes are dormant.

00:14:22.460 No, your genes are active.

00:14:24.100 In other words, you couldn't live.

00:14:25.500 Your genes have to be active.

00:14:26.700 But you've got...

00:14:27.060 So what's dormant?

00:14:27.660 What's dormant is what's passed

00:14:28.920 through the generations.

00:14:30.100 So it's the stuff that came

00:14:31.060 through the sperm and the ovates.

00:14:32.100 The imperfect genes

00:14:33.080 on top of the genes.

00:14:34.300 So it's mixed in amongst your genome

00:14:35.840 is your genome,

00:14:37.220 which is active.

00:14:38.060 Otherwise, you couldn't be alive.

00:14:39.400 And then you've got interwoven

00:14:40.600 on top of that.

00:14:41.400 You have your...

00:14:42.680 Your stuff that's come

00:14:44.100 through the generations.

00:14:45.420 Coming through dormant,

00:14:46.440 which means it's sealed,

00:14:47.580 it's closed,

00:14:48.300 it's not active.

00:14:49.580 How do you wake it up?

00:14:50.780 With your perception,

00:14:52.120 your response,

00:14:52.780 your mind,

00:14:53.360 how you think,

00:14:53.940 feel and choose.

00:14:54.740 So now a child's growing up

00:14:55.920 in a...

00:14:56.560 All this child hears this negativity.

00:14:58.500 All this child sees

00:14:59.640 is arguing, fighting, etc.

00:15:00.940 That is now

00:15:02.100 environmental influence

00:15:04.000 coming in.

00:15:04.580 The child's still learning,

00:15:05.560 so the child can't maybe

00:15:06.480 make such good decisions.

00:15:07.800 So the child's immersed

00:15:08.680 in negativity.

00:15:09.420 So now the environment's negative.

00:15:10.920 That then wakes up

00:15:12.620 the dormant genes

00:15:13.600 and that could start manifesting.

00:15:15.420 And then you start seeing

00:15:16.120 patterns of behavior

00:15:16.960 in the child

00:15:17.660 becoming negative.

00:15:19.040 But now we have

00:15:19.580 two twins in the family

00:15:20.580 and both are exposed

00:15:22.080 to this negativity.

00:15:23.480 One is definitely

00:15:24.520 more negative than the other.

00:15:25.760 I'm just giving you

00:15:26.320 a scenario.

00:15:26.760 Okay, good.

00:15:27.260 But that's where

00:15:27.880 I'm going with that.

00:15:28.380 So one can be more negative

00:15:29.840 than the other.

00:15:30.260 Yes, but that's

00:15:31.500 coming from perception.

00:15:32.340 It's not coming from...

00:15:33.980 They've got the same...

00:15:35.560 They've each got

00:15:36.220 their own active...

00:15:37.700 It's coming from perception,

00:15:38.800 which is mind,

00:15:39.740 which is how you think,

00:15:40.600 feeling, choose.

00:15:41.080 Which is them, though.

00:15:41.880 Exactly.

00:15:42.400 It's the eye factor.

00:15:43.140 That's the individual.

00:15:44.160 So one could have

00:15:45.500 a more negative perception

00:15:46.840 of the world

00:15:47.340 than the other.

00:15:47.900 But it's not genetically

00:15:48.700 pre-wired.

00:15:49.820 It is activated.

00:15:50.960 I'm not saying genetically...

00:15:51.500 It's activated.

00:15:52.780 Through thinking,

00:15:53.640 feeling, choosing.

00:15:54.340 So the genes

00:15:55.200 are not self-emergent.

00:15:56.120 Let me explain it like this.

00:15:57.400 If I pull your brain

00:15:58.540 out your head,

00:15:59.100 if I did some brain surgery

00:16:00.280 on you right now,

00:16:00.940 which I won't,

00:16:01.720 and I hold your brain

00:16:02.540 in my hand,

00:16:03.780 it's not going to do anything.

00:16:05.360 I can look at it

00:16:05.980 all day long.

00:16:07.260 You're dead.

00:16:07.860 Nothing in your body

00:16:08.560 will function.

00:16:09.220 No genome,

00:16:10.000 no genetic activation.

00:16:11.620 Nothing will happen.

00:16:12.480 No genes will switch on.

00:16:13.780 But the fact that

00:16:14.520 you are alive,

00:16:15.180 and I haven't done that,

00:16:16.520 the only reason

00:16:17.360 your brain and genes

00:16:18.480 are doing anything

00:16:19.260 is because of your

00:16:20.100 thinking, feeling,

00:16:20.840 and choosing.

00:16:21.520 It's firing them up.

00:16:22.620 It is the switch on.

00:16:24.140 Your thinking,

00:16:24.820 feeling, and choosing

00:16:25.460 switches your genes on

00:16:27.080 and switches them off.

00:16:27.880 What does that have to be my question?

00:16:29.340 So, okay.

00:16:30.340 My question being

00:16:31.100 the fact that

00:16:31.860 I'm trying,

00:16:33.220 the perception.

00:16:34.200 I'm born with,

00:16:35.360 I asked the question earlier,

00:16:37.340 which,

00:16:37.840 how much of it is my DNA,

00:16:38.840 my environment,

00:16:39.480 my this,

00:16:39.800 and let's just say

00:16:40.200 everything is the same,

00:16:40.900 and you and I are born,

00:16:41.520 same girlfriend,

00:16:42.060 same boyfriend,

00:16:42.620 same this,

00:16:43.100 same high Christian,

00:16:43.840 all this stuff.

00:16:44.160 And then why is this one,

00:16:45.100 why is this one negative?

00:16:45.700 This is perception, right?

00:16:46.600 So we've got our two kids

00:16:47.600 in the family,

00:16:48.100 and one's negative,

00:16:48.660 and one is.

00:16:49.260 So,

00:16:49.660 but I,

00:16:50.840 like I have three kids,

00:16:51.940 right?

00:16:52.360 Okay.

00:16:52.980 And I see a lot of people

00:16:54.380 that came from a great family,

00:16:55.420 like okay,

00:16:56.080 that guy became successful,

00:16:57.160 that guy's in prison,

00:16:58.000 this guy's in the military,

00:16:59.040 that guy,

00:16:59.480 everything's bad in his life

00:17:00.680 since he was a kid.

00:17:01.900 This person's parents

00:17:03.980 lived a decent life.

00:17:05.380 How much of that is them?

00:17:08.240 Like you know how you talk

00:17:08.740 about teacher

00:17:09.160 versus the individual?

00:17:10.160 How much of it is the teacher,

00:17:11.300 the example,

00:17:11.880 how much of it is the individual,

00:17:12.920 how much of it is the environment?

00:17:14.500 So I'm just trying to-

00:17:15.300 Well, teacher,

00:17:15.600 environment is all one category,

00:17:17.100 so that's nurture.

00:17:18.100 So under nurture,

00:17:18.980 we would have all of those things

00:17:20.040 you described.

00:17:20.680 So you're born with your physical

00:17:21.600 and then you've got nurture.

00:17:22.780 Then you've got the I factor.

00:17:24.180 So the I factor is the dominant one,

00:17:25.840 it's the 99%,

00:17:26.720 it's the thing that overrides.

00:17:27.920 So your two kids in the family

00:17:29.040 with the same thing,

00:17:30.080 you've got the one

00:17:30.900 who will now literally activate

00:17:33.720 by thinking negative.

00:17:34.780 Oh, I'm seeing this negative,

00:17:36.040 I choose to think negative.

00:17:38.080 And they start activating

00:17:39.460 the negative gene,

00:17:40.340 so now I've got the propensity

00:17:41.560 activated,

00:17:42.500 and I'm continuing

00:17:43.560 in that way of thinking.

00:17:44.980 It's a choice that I make

00:17:45.940 because at any stage

00:17:47.160 I can recognize,

00:17:48.440 you can train a person

00:17:49.300 very easily

00:17:50.240 to stand back,

00:17:51.800 observe their own thinking

00:17:52.620 because it's neuroscience,

00:17:53.620 it's how we are designed,

00:17:55.000 it's quantum physics,

00:17:55.960 it's all of that.

00:17:56.800 You can stand back

00:17:57.860 and observe your own thinking

00:17:58.900 and you can show someone,

00:18:00.000 can you see that you're being negative?

00:18:01.820 Can you see that that is,

00:18:04.100 and you can keep-

00:18:04.700 What is the answer?

00:18:05.200 So by showing people,

00:18:06.400 there's always a way

00:18:07.420 for someone to see it,

00:18:08.280 but not everyone will choose

00:18:09.220 to do that.

00:18:10.320 And one of the greatest ways

00:18:11.760 of people seeing that

00:18:12.480 is the impact on other people.

00:18:13.740 So because we're so relational,

00:18:15.720 we're so designed

00:18:16.800 for deep, meaningful community,

00:18:18.240 so that person

00:18:19.380 who constantly sees negative

00:18:20.380 in your meeting,

00:18:20.960 he's irritating.

00:18:21.840 Eventually that's going

00:18:22.560 to get to a point

00:18:23.160 where you're all kind of,

00:18:24.240 ugh, you know,

00:18:25.120 like, oh,

00:18:25.740 I'm just giving that example.

00:18:26.580 Is there any saving

00:18:27.620 that person?

00:18:29.420 That person has to

00:18:30.120 save themselves,

00:18:30.740 but it takes community,

00:18:32.060 it takes community

00:18:33.260 to make them aware,

00:18:34.340 but they can still be aware

00:18:35.280 and choose to say the same.

00:18:36.440 But sometimes they don't want to,

00:18:38.180 let's just say

00:18:38.640 they have a great community,

00:18:39.680 like you know how

00:18:40.020 you go to church?

00:18:40.620 Yeah, yeah,

00:18:40.960 you've got the whole thing

00:18:41.700 and they still need it.

00:18:42.980 Yeah, you know how,

00:18:44.100 like, I remember one time

00:18:45.080 a buddy of mine

00:18:45.900 called me and he says,

00:18:46.580 Pat, my marriage

00:18:47.120 didn't work out.

00:18:48.060 I said, okay.

00:18:48.600 He says, how do you do it?

00:18:49.600 I said, how do I do what?

00:18:50.720 How do you make

00:18:51.520 a marriage work out?

00:18:52.240 I said, buddy,

00:18:52.600 I take one year at a time.

00:18:53.620 I have no idea

00:18:54.080 if it's going to work out

00:18:54.720 next year.

00:18:55.160 Marriage is not an easy thing.

00:18:56.220 It's a lot of work.

00:18:56.920 He says, okay,

00:18:57.320 but what's your,

00:18:58.700 what's effective for you?

00:19:01.140 I said, you know,

00:19:02.280 10 years ago,

00:19:03.380 I asked people,

00:19:04.140 I said, what's the benefit

00:19:04.760 of a church?

00:19:05.080 I was an atheist

00:19:05.820 for 25 years.

00:19:06.720 I'm very much against

00:19:08.240 the whole thing,

00:19:09.940 church thing,

00:19:10.480 at first going up.

00:19:12.040 And one guy says,

00:19:12.680 look, here's what

00:19:13.140 you've got to realize.

00:19:13.960 There's a benefit

00:19:14.600 of being around

00:19:15.160 a community of people

00:19:16.200 that are making

00:19:16.800 their marriages work

00:19:17.660 because a community

00:19:18.520 helps you want to

00:19:20.560 keep your marriage.

00:19:21.320 It's kind of like,

00:19:22.020 you know, Mac,

00:19:22.740 man, you know she loves you,

00:19:24.080 man.

00:19:24.180 You guys got to figure this out.

00:19:25.280 I know you kind of,

00:19:26.640 you're like Big Macs,

00:19:27.480 but she doesn't like it,

00:19:28.280 but you got to figure out

00:19:29.000 a way to make

00:19:29.360 this relationship work

00:19:30.280 and hey,

00:19:30.880 I just don't know

00:19:31.600 if I can be with her.

00:19:32.340 I said, buddy,

00:19:32.620 what are you talking about?

00:19:33.920 And he's like,

00:19:34.320 I can't deal with him.

00:19:35.040 He's so stubborn.

00:19:36.000 You got to do this, doc.

00:19:37.100 You know,

00:19:37.280 you guys have been together

00:19:37.960 for 22 years.

00:19:38.960 Okay, we'll make it work, right?

00:19:40.280 So that's community.

00:19:41.100 But what if he's like,

00:19:41.940 nope, I don't want

00:19:42.880 to do anything.

00:19:43.520 Stubborn, doesn't want to take it.

00:19:44.500 That's a choice they've made.

00:19:45.860 That's a choice they've made.

00:19:46.860 And that's the I factor.

00:19:47.960 See, the choice comes in.

00:19:49.040 Remember I said

00:19:49.720 mind is think, feel, choose?

00:19:51.140 Yeah.

00:19:51.520 That is your unique,

00:19:52.660 you own that.

00:19:53.460 Right.

00:19:53.820 So what we've got to recognize

00:19:54.960 is what we own.

00:19:55.840 We own our thinking,

00:19:56.800 feeling, and choosing.

00:19:57.560 So that person,

00:19:58.320 those two kids in the family,

00:19:59.320 the situation you've just described,

00:20:01.020 you can take the horse

00:20:01.820 to the water.

00:20:02.340 It's that situation,

00:20:03.120 but the horse says

00:20:03.700 to drink the water.

00:20:05.020 And that's the mind.

00:20:06.440 That's the I factor.

00:20:07.220 That's the part that we are not,

00:20:10.200 have not done enough research on

00:20:11.840 and that I've spent 30 years

00:20:12.860 myself researching.

00:20:14.520 There are a few of us doing it,

00:20:15.740 but we've got to focus on that

00:20:17.020 because otherwise,

00:20:18.460 I can use my brain

00:20:19.920 as an excuse for everything,

00:20:21.100 which is the day and age

00:20:21.880 we live in.

00:20:22.580 You can't make the relationship work.

00:20:23.860 They've got ADHD.

00:20:24.740 That's why they go.

00:20:25.420 They've got this.

00:20:26.020 They've got that.

00:20:26.760 That's why.

00:20:27.420 No, that's not why.

00:20:28.720 Those are effects.

00:20:31.820 This is a great,

00:20:32.640 I've got a great image here.

00:20:33.700 I don't know if you want

00:20:34.060 to have a look at this.

00:20:34.700 This is a very powerful image.

00:20:36.400 What we're going to see here

00:20:37.360 is a real human brain.

00:20:39.580 This is a real life person

00:20:40.600 linked up to very advanced

00:20:41.560 brain technology.

00:20:42.960 And that firing that you see

00:20:44.200 over there is thinking,

00:20:45.800 feeling, choosing.

00:20:46.620 If you were dead,

00:20:47.240 there'd be no firing in the brain.

00:20:48.880 So what we're seeing is energy

00:20:50.200 moving through the brain

00:20:51.320 that is being picked up

00:20:52.120 by very complex technology

00:20:54.020 that is showing the brain

00:20:55.500 responding to an alive person.

00:20:57.420 who's thinking,

00:20:58.460 feeling, choosing.

00:20:59.300 So this is in a conversation

00:21:00.460 or this is just steady?

00:21:01.700 That's all the time.

00:21:02.600 It's constant.

00:21:03.460 So your brain looks like that now.

00:21:04.900 But your firing would be

00:21:05.760 different to mine,

00:21:06.460 different to every single viewer.

00:21:07.800 So everyone has their own

00:21:09.060 unique way that the brain

00:21:10.620 actually fires up.

00:21:12.100 So there's a uniqueness.

00:21:13.020 Your brain is designed

00:21:13.900 to match you.

00:21:14.620 It responds to you.

00:21:15.660 And you drive that.

00:21:17.400 So if I'm constantly negative,

00:21:19.940 I drive a negative quantum energy

00:21:22.980 through the brain,

00:21:23.780 which will then cause,

00:21:25.040 still cause an electrochemical,

00:21:26.780 an electromagnetic

00:21:27.360 and genetic reaction,

00:21:28.960 but it's going to be distorted.

00:21:31.300 And that means that I'm going

00:21:32.540 to make something

00:21:33.200 that's all distorted.

00:21:35.000 Or I'm going to do

00:21:36.020 a healthy thought

00:21:37.160 or whatever you want to call it,

00:21:39.120 and I'm going to then change

00:21:41.160 what it looks like.

00:21:41.880 That's why I've got green trees

00:21:43.080 and toxic trees.

00:21:44.420 So if you look at this next slide,

00:21:45.700 this really makes it clear.

00:21:47.760 These are neurons,

00:21:49.420 and you see them moving.

00:21:50.780 So it's kind of the same.

00:21:52.280 It's also in the brain.

00:21:53.880 If you were dead,

00:21:54.560 there'd be no movement.

00:21:56.320 And what you're seeing

00:21:57.260 there's things growing.

00:21:58.300 That's what's happening

00:21:58.920 in your brain at speeds

00:22:00.220 that are very, very fast.

00:22:02.020 You're growing little branches.

00:22:03.560 Those branches...

00:22:04.160 So it's growing

00:22:04.960 and it's building constantly.

00:22:06.980 You're building now.

00:22:07.820 Non-stop.

00:22:08.600 Non-stop.

00:22:08.900 What causes it to develop?

00:22:10.300 Your thinking, feeling,

00:22:11.220 and choosing.

00:22:11.540 Because if you're dead,

00:22:12.320 it doesn't happen.

00:22:12.840 So let me ask you.

00:22:13.580 Does this mean

00:22:13.940 the more I'm learning

00:22:14.660 and reading,

00:22:15.200 is it building more?

00:22:16.120 More.

00:22:16.480 All the time.

00:22:17.000 You're doing it all day long.

00:22:17.740 Is there a way

00:22:18.020 to measure three brains

00:22:19.060 of one developing

00:22:19.960 versus one not?

00:22:20.740 Yes, we can see that.

00:22:21.580 We can see a response.

00:22:22.620 Your brain...

00:22:23.100 You've done the use.

00:22:23.860 You see it like...

00:22:24.340 I work with scientists.

00:22:25.420 I'm doing my own research now.

00:22:26.700 We see that...

00:22:27.560 You see brain thickening.

00:22:29.140 You see changes.

00:22:30.140 That's fascinating right there

00:22:31.360 because...

00:22:31.840 You actually see

00:22:33.200 I've got another slide

00:22:34.000 over here.

00:22:35.660 Well, okay,

00:22:36.920 we've got another slide.

00:22:37.940 Okay, we're going to have to

00:22:38.500 pause this, edit this thing.

00:22:39.480 There's another slide

00:22:40.020 that shows inside

00:22:40.880 the actual brain.

00:22:41.820 I don't have it over here,

00:22:42.840 but you can actually see

00:22:44.120 what you're asking me.

00:22:46.000 Let me see if it's over here.

00:22:48.020 Here we go.

00:22:49.220 Okay.

00:22:49.740 This is fascinating.

00:22:51.680 Yeah, that's intense to me.

00:22:53.100 Yeah, it is intense.

00:22:54.040 And this is what people

00:22:54.680 don't realize.

00:22:55.200 But you're doing that.

00:22:55.940 You drive that.

00:22:56.260 You know what that means?

00:22:57.400 That means when you're thinking,

00:22:59.500 you're reading,

00:23:00.160 learning more,

00:23:00.900 your brain is building...

00:23:02.500 Growing.

00:23:02.520 And growing more muscles.

00:23:04.280 It's growing.

00:23:04.840 Not even...

00:23:05.280 It's growing branches.

00:23:06.040 It's growing computers.

00:23:07.060 And those computers...

00:23:08.540 So this is inside your brain.

00:23:10.240 You've got infinite space

00:23:11.560 in your brain.

00:23:12.500 You're designed to think.

00:23:13.520 You're supposed to think.

00:23:14.380 You're supposed to grow your brain.

00:23:15.780 One of the biggest aspects

00:23:16.940 of mental health

00:23:17.600 that is the most

00:23:18.440 undealt with aspect

00:23:20.520 of mental health

00:23:21.220 that I've been fighting

00:23:21.880 for 30 years

00:23:22.660 to get out into

00:23:23.800 people's minds

00:23:25.640 and understanding

00:23:26.760 and that I do with my research

00:23:27.820 is building your brain

00:23:29.520 with your mind.

00:23:30.840 If you don't build your brain,

00:23:31.920 if you're not learning new stuff,

00:23:33.100 if you're not really

00:23:33.840 using your brain every day,

00:23:35.100 it's like not cleaning your house

00:23:36.520 or not cleaning your teeth

00:23:37.420 or not washing your body,

00:23:38.640 your brain builds up toxic waste.

00:23:39.720 Can I go a little deeper in that?

00:23:40.760 Absolutely.

00:23:41.340 So has there been research

00:23:44.340 to study

00:23:45.100 what builds the brain more?

00:23:47.280 Is it play?

00:23:48.640 Is it seeing a movie

00:23:50.500 that creates your imagination?

00:23:51.920 Is it reading?

00:23:53.320 Is it relationship?

00:23:54.760 Is it...

00:23:55.440 All of the above.

00:23:56.580 Is there one

00:23:57.120 that does more than the other?

00:23:59.060 It's how you...

00:24:00.440 Once again,

00:24:00.920 your eye factor.

00:24:01.600 If I approach a relationship

00:24:03.060 with deep intensity

00:24:04.100 and I really throw everything at it,

00:24:06.260 I'm growing my brain

00:24:07.060 very effectively.

00:24:08.120 If I take material

00:24:09.480 and I study it intensively

00:24:11.000 so that I can understand it

00:24:12.260 and I can actually teach it,

00:24:13.560 that's more effective

00:24:14.380 than if I just took it

00:24:15.260 and just scanned through it

00:24:16.360 or if I just approach

00:24:17.420 a relationship.

00:24:18.620 In terms of comparing across them,

00:24:20.400 it's all dependent

00:24:21.620 on how you are using

00:24:22.760 your perception,

00:24:23.420 how you're using your mind.

00:24:24.720 That builds health

00:24:25.600 into the brain.

00:24:26.720 So constantly,

00:24:27.540 you'll have people

00:24:28.240 that are constantly...

00:24:30.000 Like a therapist,

00:24:30.760 for example,

00:24:31.140 who's always interacting

00:24:32.380 with people

00:24:32.900 and diving into people's heads,

00:24:34.400 you would find

00:24:35.100 that is very...

00:24:36.580 It's not an area

00:24:37.860 in the brain

00:24:38.320 but it's basically

00:24:39.240 that kind of skill

00:24:41.060 has developed in the brain

00:24:42.440 and we can all

00:24:43.840 develop relationships

00:24:44.700 but that's an interest.

00:24:46.220 Does that sometimes

00:24:47.240 shut down the emotion

00:24:48.320 for the therapist?

00:24:49.200 No, because emotions

00:24:50.000 are always there.

00:24:51.220 You know what I'm talking about?

00:24:52.260 Okay, so for instance,

00:24:53.240 I myself,

00:24:54.060 I've hired a therapist

00:24:55.580 for the last 19 years,

00:24:57.500 20 years

00:24:58.020 and I'll go sit with them,

00:24:59.100 right?

00:24:59.300 A person that had been around

00:25:01.200 for 30 years,

00:25:02.640 it's routine.

00:25:03.660 A person that had been around

00:25:04.660 for five years,

00:25:05.980 they're putting

00:25:06.640 a little bit more effort.

00:25:07.580 A person that's been around

00:25:08.360 for 35 years,

00:25:10.200 they're just kind of like,

00:25:10.760 oh, okay,

00:25:11.100 so how did I make you feel?

00:25:12.240 So tell me about this.

00:25:13.320 They just got lazy.

00:25:14.200 They just got lazy.

00:25:15.700 I saw a trend

00:25:16.340 a little bit with that

00:25:17.020 where sometimes

00:25:17.480 the fire was being gone

00:25:18.420 but let me go back to this.

00:25:19.980 I want to go a little bit deeper

00:25:20.800 with this conversation as well.

00:25:22.120 So you know how

00:25:22.900 generals historically,

00:25:25.860 general,

00:25:26.180 like general of the army,

00:25:27.140 leaders of the army

00:25:27.740 would say,

00:25:28.320 this country produces

00:25:30.340 the best human beings

00:25:31.880 or the best specimen.

00:25:34.480 Maybe it's a better word

00:25:35.400 to use.

00:25:36.200 I'm talking to Kai.

00:25:38.040 Kai's from Norway.

00:25:39.360 He tells me,

00:25:39.920 do you know Hitler believed

00:25:40.960 that the best specimen

00:25:42.980 came from Norway

00:25:44.240 because whatever reasons.

00:25:46.120 Right now,

00:25:46.400 why he thinks that,

00:25:47.180 I have no idea

00:25:47.660 why he thinks that

00:25:48.360 but you see a lot of generals

00:25:49.500 and rulers will say

00:25:50.480 Assyrians make the best people

00:25:53.640 because of blood

00:25:54.420 is stemmed from fire

00:25:55.700 and they got this

00:25:57.140 and they're students

00:25:57.900 and they're original.

00:25:59.260 They've been around

00:25:59.780 for a while.

00:26:00.820 All these things.

00:26:01.860 Is there a way,

00:26:02.980 is there a way

00:26:03.780 for,

00:26:05.720 and maybe if we don't have it

00:26:06.740 right now scientifically

00:26:07.380 because this to me,

00:26:09.220 I mean if you have this,

00:26:10.460 this is insane,

00:26:11.480 the rest of it.

00:26:11.960 Is there a way

00:26:12.920 to measure a person's capacity

00:26:17.320 from the day they're born

00:26:19.820 or maybe at a year old

00:26:20.820 to do a test on their brain

00:26:21.940 and say this person's wiring

00:26:23.820 on how the brain is.

00:26:24.940 If you feed the right information

00:26:26.120 to this person,

00:26:26.940 they could end up being

00:26:28.120 an Elon Musk type of guy.

00:26:29.760 They could end up being

00:26:30.460 the next Einstein.

00:26:31.280 This person could end up

00:26:32.120 being like a Churchill

00:26:32.800 or an Alexander Hamilton

00:26:34.040 because the wiring

00:26:36.020 has the ability to grow.

00:26:37.640 Is there a way

00:26:38.100 to measure that?

00:26:39.400 No,

00:26:39.940 because it's complete

00:26:40.680 neuroreductionism.

00:26:41.680 They've tried to do it.

00:26:42.600 They're trying to do it

00:26:43.360 and it's the worst thing

00:26:44.300 that's ever been done

00:26:45.000 because it takes away

00:26:45.860 the uniqueness of a human.

00:26:47.400 Anyone could be anything

00:26:48.660 depending on who you are.

00:26:50.780 Anyone could be anything.

00:26:51.660 It's where you go.

00:26:53.300 It's your perception

00:26:53.860 and why do we have to,

00:26:55.300 but I'm not saying that.

00:26:56.300 Let me rephrase that.

00:26:57.280 I'm not saying everyone

00:26:58.000 can be an Elon Musk

00:26:58.900 and everyone can be an Einstein.

00:27:00.560 If that's not where

00:27:01.320 your leaning goes,

00:27:02.200 if you are an incredible artist,

00:27:03.900 that's as brilliant

00:27:04.780 as someone who is a physicist.

00:27:06.160 Oh, I did that.

00:27:06.440 I did that.

00:27:07.740 It's who you are.

00:27:08.700 It's the uniqueness

00:27:09.340 of where your interest goes.

00:27:10.320 I'm not asking that.

00:27:10.980 So, okay.

00:27:12.580 So, no, you can't.

00:27:13.420 What you're trying to say

00:27:14.460 is neuroreductionism.

00:27:15.300 Yeah, what I'm not asking is...

00:27:16.500 Can we predict

00:27:17.180 that there is a certain type

00:27:18.340 of brain that will do

00:27:19.080 a certain type of thing

00:27:19.900 and can we grow it?

00:27:20.580 No, you can't.

00:27:21.080 That's neuroreductionism.

00:27:22.080 Okay.

00:27:22.100 Maybe let me show this to you

00:27:23.580 and you explain to me

00:27:24.740 if I'm thinking the right way.

00:27:26.560 Okay.

00:27:27.140 We got three different people.

00:27:29.680 Okay.

00:27:29.880 Mary, okay, Bobby, Cindy.

00:27:33.840 They're siblings.

00:27:34.840 Okay.

00:27:35.440 Mary, Bobby, Cindy.

00:27:36.660 Okay.

00:27:37.540 Mary has a high level

00:27:39.660 of capacity in life.

00:27:40.840 Mm-hmm.

00:27:41.240 Okay.

00:27:41.900 She is obviously...

00:27:43.560 It's very obvious

00:27:44.360 from very early on.

00:27:45.160 Very intuitive,

00:27:45.880 good with people,

00:27:46.500 understands, you know,

00:27:47.940 thinks in a different way,

00:27:48.880 decisions,

00:27:49.360 different perspective,

00:27:50.560 perception of how

00:27:51.320 she views the world.

00:27:53.120 Then Bobby's slightly

00:27:54.380 lower than him

00:27:55.140 and lower than her

00:27:56.260 and then you got Cindy

00:27:57.100 lower than Bobby.

00:27:58.460 Okay.

00:27:59.460 I'm asking capacity.

00:28:01.220 If Bobby reaches this level

00:28:04.300 in life,

00:28:05.480 it's still lower than her

00:28:07.040 if she gets here.

00:28:08.880 But she's done more

00:28:09.960 with her life,

00:28:10.920 with his life,

00:28:11.820 than Mary

00:28:12.580 because Mary's potential

00:28:13.740 of doing more in life

00:28:14.520 is higher.

00:28:15.640 So all I'm asking for

00:28:16.860 is there are people

00:28:17.640 that have a higher potential.

00:28:19.040 Not everybody can be

00:28:20.060 in Elon Musk, right?

00:28:21.240 Not everybody can be

00:28:22.220 in Einstein.

00:28:22.840 Not everybody can be a...

00:28:24.120 And that's okay.

00:28:24.720 There's nothing wrong with that.

00:28:25.600 I'm not making

00:28:26.040 the comparison part.

00:28:27.340 All I'm saying is

00:28:28.140 is there a measuring mechanism

00:28:29.740 to say this person's capacity

00:28:32.120 based on the way

00:28:32.880 their brain is wired

00:28:33.860 is a lot higher

00:28:35.340 than another person

00:28:36.160 based on the way.

00:28:36.880 No, not at all.

00:28:37.440 The answer is no.

00:28:38.300 Absolutely no.

00:28:39.040 Absolutely not.

00:28:39.920 Yes, because your brain

00:28:40.780 is only 1% of how you function

00:28:42.240 and the biggest danger

00:28:43.120 that's happened

00:28:43.640 with neuroscience

00:28:44.780 and the advent of technology,

00:28:47.820 the MRI,

00:28:48.380 the FMRI mid-90s

00:28:49.720 and the understanding

00:28:50.960 of neuroplasticity

00:28:52.340 is that people

00:28:53.680 have tried to find

00:28:54.680 neurobiological correlates

00:28:56.000 of intelligence,

00:28:57.400 of mental health,

00:28:58.580 of mental illness

00:28:59.200 and it's completely

00:29:00.220 and utterly unscientific

00:29:01.700 and lacking in evidence.

00:29:03.180 Yale just brought out

00:29:04.000 a study recently

00:29:04.780 saying that there is

00:29:05.480 no normal brain.

00:29:07.260 And what that means

00:29:08.200 is that every brain

00:29:09.280 has the potential

00:29:10.140 to become

00:29:10.700 what that person's interest is.

00:29:13.400 So...

00:29:13.560 Very good point right there.

00:29:14.680 What that person's interest is.

00:29:16.840 Fair enough.

00:29:17.280 And then that comes back

00:29:18.320 to the I factor.

00:29:19.480 So I can have

00:29:21.280 the most amazing desire

00:29:23.120 to grow in a direction

00:29:24.440 and show signs of doing that

00:29:25.780 but there's just something

00:29:26.640 about how I'm seeing life

00:29:28.140 that could block me

00:29:28.820 and someone else

00:29:29.780 who you...

00:29:31.820 Cindy, Bobby, whatever,

00:29:33.260 who also makes

00:29:34.020 that judgment?

00:29:35.000 You know,

00:29:35.140 we're coming from

00:29:35.960 a very materialistic view

00:29:37.500 of who's allowed to say

00:29:39.400 that that one's got

00:29:40.000 more potential

00:29:40.540 than that one.

00:29:41.280 Yeah, so...

00:29:42.060 But it's still a decision.

00:29:43.620 Someone has said

00:29:44.280 you've got more potential

00:29:45.280 than you simply buy a behavior.

00:29:47.340 Well, you know what it's like?

00:29:48.020 It's kind of like this.

00:29:49.140 I will judge you

00:29:50.340 if you're 7'1

00:29:51.380 and you're 15 years old.

00:29:53.440 There is a 40% chance

00:29:55.180 you can end up playing

00:29:55.800 in the NBA.

00:29:56.280 Yeah, but that's physical,

00:29:57.240 external.

00:29:57.900 That's a physical...

00:29:58.860 You've looked at someone physically.

00:30:00.160 You've looked at the physical.

00:30:01.140 When they start talking,

00:30:02.200 that person,

00:30:03.180 there's enough research

00:30:04.480 out there

00:30:04.880 with people

00:30:05.320 that they have thought

00:30:06.080 would not do very well.

00:30:07.760 Einstein is a classic case of that

00:30:09.300 where he was seen

00:30:10.420 as a slow kid.

00:30:11.360 He was even told

00:30:12.000 taken out of school

00:30:12.980 and homeschooled.

00:30:13.920 That's three and a half years old.

00:30:14.640 Because he just did not

00:30:16.280 think in the stand.

00:30:17.840 I talk a lot about that

00:30:18.600 in my book,

00:30:19.020 Think, Learn, Succeed.

00:30:19.760 We've got to be so careful

00:30:20.720 of learning styles.

00:30:21.560 It's the most inaccurate

00:30:22.300 way of judging people.

00:30:23.820 Personality profiles.

00:30:25.020 Go back to learning style.

00:30:26.460 What do you mean by that?

00:30:27.160 Learning style

00:30:27.880 is not science at all.

00:30:29.540 For 25 years,

00:30:30.980 there's been a few of us

00:30:31.960 in the lonely world

00:30:34.440 and are saying

00:30:34.960 do not work on learning styles

00:30:36.580 because it limits people.

00:30:38.120 Can you tell me

00:30:38.580 what a learning style is to you?

00:30:39.660 What is learning style?

00:30:40.300 Learning style,

00:30:40.580 people talk about

00:30:41.060 being a visual learner,

00:30:41.820 an auditory learner,

00:30:42.700 all that kind of stuff.

00:30:43.620 So a lot of education systems

00:30:46.240 have been based around

00:30:47.260 for years on that.

00:30:48.840 But that's very limiting

00:30:49.700 because you cannot say

00:30:50.680 you're a visual learner

00:30:51.700 because every single person

00:30:53.600 imagines.

00:30:53.620 So you don't believe in that at all?

00:30:54.620 Not at all.

00:30:55.240 It's not even science.

00:30:56.420 It's not even,

00:30:57.100 it's never,

00:30:57.500 it's actually been

00:30:58.080 totally disproven.

00:30:58.860 Who has disproven that?

00:31:00.780 Many, many scientists.

00:31:02.140 I have many studies

00:31:03.120 that I quote actually

00:31:03.840 in this book.

00:31:04.200 I am so curious.

00:31:05.340 So basically what we have

00:31:07.200 is the learning style movement

00:31:08.400 has limited people

00:31:09.520 because it's saying

00:31:10.100 you're this type of person.

00:31:11.620 It has given birth,

00:31:12.880 it's come out

00:31:13.540 of the IQ movement.

00:31:15.240 So you're either a number.

00:31:16.420 So they would do

00:31:16.880 a static test

00:31:17.700 to see how you responded

00:31:19.220 in that moment

00:31:19.860 and your whole potential

00:31:20.920 and your whole life

00:31:21.620 was judged on that.

00:31:22.740 IQ tests play

00:31:23.480 a much lesser role now.

00:31:25.080 They still play a role.

00:31:26.080 Then we went to

00:31:26.660 the more personality,

00:31:28.020 learning style,

00:31:29.020 movement,

00:31:30.100 which put you in a category.

00:31:31.620 And it said,

00:31:32.120 if you do X,

00:31:33.380 then you that.

00:31:34.660 Now in the same category

00:31:36.020 is this neuro reductionism,

00:31:37.400 which is trying to say

00:31:38.620 this is the perfect brain.

00:31:40.400 If you have this kind of wiring,

00:31:42.360 you're going to be able

00:31:43.680 to do this.

00:31:44.340 It links to artificial intelligence.

00:31:46.120 Yeah, I'm not saying that.

00:31:47.840 You're basically saying

00:31:48.900 is there a certain pattern

00:31:50.360 of wiring

00:31:50.920 that you can activate

00:31:52.620 or stimulate

00:31:53.820 to achieve that kind of goal?

00:31:56.140 So let me ask you

00:31:56.640 in a different way.

00:31:57.840 And again,

00:31:58.780 if brain,

00:32:00.540 are there muscles,

00:32:01.580 what would you call those muscles?

00:32:02.780 No, they're little proteins.

00:32:04.740 They're little computers.

00:32:06.580 Little computers.

00:32:07.080 Would you say

00:32:07.820 muscles are little proteins?

00:32:09.380 Yes, they eventually

00:32:09.920 break down to proteins.

00:32:11.040 So essentially,

00:32:12.680 maybe there's some similarity there,

00:32:13.840 right?

00:32:14.040 You could.

00:32:14.220 You could use that

00:32:14.780 as an analogy.

00:32:15.520 So for instance,

00:32:16.240 in bodybuilding,

00:32:18.240 they call it endomorph,

00:32:19.240 ectomorph, mesomorph,

00:32:20.360 right?

00:32:21.000 And it's a guy like me,

00:32:22.500 like I have small,

00:32:23.380 what do you call it?

00:32:24.880 Wrists.

00:32:25.740 Joints,

00:32:26.260 or what do you call it?

00:32:27.400 Like here, here.

00:32:28.940 Joints, yeah.

00:32:29.440 Joints, yeah.

00:32:29.920 So what this does is

00:32:31.020 it benefits a bodybuilder

00:32:32.300 because it makes

00:32:32.940 the forearm look bigger

00:32:33.920 versus somebody

00:32:34.520 who has a bigger forearm.

00:32:35.540 So you're looking like,

00:32:36.780 ah, you know,

00:32:37.280 he's going to look boxy.

00:32:38.940 Perspective.

00:32:39.420 Yeah.

00:32:39.760 So then you're looking like,

00:32:40.780 ah, I don't know if this guy's

00:32:41.560 got the physique to be

00:32:42.280 Mr. Olympia, right?

00:32:43.440 You can tell very early on

00:32:44.960 if someone's got a physique

00:32:45.660 to be Mr. Olympia.

00:32:46.540 That's what I'm saying.

00:32:47.480 So this person may be built

00:32:48.440 to be Mr. Olympia.

00:32:49.560 All I'm saying is

00:32:50.840 this person's got

00:32:51.800 a very extremely sensitive brain

00:32:55.360 that if the proper information

00:32:57.280 is given to her

00:32:58.420 and she finds something

00:33:00.040 that's passionately interested in,

00:33:02.560 she has the ability

00:33:03.580 to really expand it

00:33:04.540 into something very big.

00:33:06.040 I'm not saying specifically

00:33:07.120 put it in a box.

00:33:07.860 Like in Germany,

00:33:08.500 from ninth grade,

00:33:09.220 they decide what you need

00:33:10.020 to do as a career.

00:33:10.780 Well, here's what you're going to,

00:33:11.560 because the educational system

00:33:12.440 is slightly different, right?

00:33:13.460 British system too, right?

00:33:14.340 In America,

00:33:14.800 it's a little bit more flexible.

00:33:16.160 If they did that to me,

00:33:17.500 it'd be broken

00:33:18.120 because that would have gone

00:33:18.920 a different direction.

00:33:20.240 I'm just asking measurement

00:33:21.780 to say,

00:33:23.620 and it's not even an IQ thing.

00:33:25.200 It's a pure like

00:33:25.860 looking at the way

00:33:26.640 it's set up to measure

00:33:27.740 and say,

00:33:28.280 this person can do something

00:33:29.520 really magnificent

00:33:30.340 with this brain

00:33:31.240 and this mind

00:33:32.060 if we feed the right information

00:33:33.360 to this individual.

00:33:34.100 Okay, you're talking

00:33:34.260 about two different things.

00:33:35.620 What you've done

00:33:36.260 is you've mixed up

00:33:37.040 physical and mental.

00:33:38.420 So you're totally

00:33:39.100 100% correct in saying

00:33:40.620 that you could look

00:33:41.640 at that physique

00:33:42.180 of the bodybuilder

00:33:43.340 versus someone

00:33:44.020 who's very thin,

00:33:44.940 scorny, tiny.

00:33:45.680 You're not going to,

00:33:46.320 unless they really,

00:33:47.540 they just don't.

00:33:48.120 So there's a physical thing

00:33:49.500 that enables you

00:33:51.460 to lean towards...

00:33:51.620 Protein is protein.

00:33:52.340 It's also somewhat physical, right?

00:33:53.780 Yes, it is.

00:33:54.420 It's physical.

00:33:54.920 That is physical.

00:33:55.880 So there's the physical

00:33:56.720 that 1%

00:33:57.540 that shows

00:33:58.440 that there's probably

00:33:59.220 more tendency

00:33:59.880 for someone like you

00:34:01.500 to become a bodybuilder

00:34:02.400 than like me

00:34:02.940 to become a bodybuilder

00:34:03.860 just in terms of our size.

00:34:05.200 Okay, so there's

00:34:05.560 the physique thing.

00:34:06.340 That's the physical.

00:34:07.340 The other side is

00:34:08.480 you can look

00:34:09.260 at a person's

00:34:10.180 what they're saying,

00:34:11.360 what they're doing,

00:34:12.020 what they seem

00:34:12.440 to be interested in.

00:34:13.200 That's what you're saying.

00:34:13.980 And if you shape that,

00:34:15.460 can you expose them

00:34:17.980 to the books

00:34:18.680 and the mentors

00:34:20.320 and the whatever,

00:34:21.300 can you grow them

00:34:22.020 in that direction?

00:34:23.140 There isn't a way

00:34:24.240 of measuring that

00:34:24.860 with the brain.

00:34:25.580 And I'm going to use AI,

00:34:26.740 artificial intelligence,

00:34:27.720 to explain to you.

00:34:28.800 One neuron in the brain

00:34:30.020 moves at a speed

00:34:32.220 or fires at a speed

00:34:33.220 of 10 to the 16.

00:34:34.420 One neuron.

00:34:35.440 Okay?

00:34:36.340 Artificial intelligence

00:34:37.320 is trying to build

00:34:38.340 a human brain

00:34:39.160 that can do

00:34:39.700 what a human can do

00:34:40.700 based on getting

00:34:42.100 the firing speed

00:34:43.060 up to 10 to the 16.

00:34:44.840 That's only one neuron.

00:34:46.880 Your brain is not

00:34:47.760 made of one neuron.

00:34:48.720 Your brain is made

00:34:49.340 of 100 billion neurons.

00:34:50.420 That's only 20%

00:34:51.220 of brain tissue.

00:34:52.400 The entire brain

00:34:53.360 of that 100 billion neurons,

00:34:55.380 they fire a speed

00:34:56.120 of 10 to the 27,

00:34:57.240 which is,

00:34:57.720 it's so big,

00:34:59.300 it's incomprehensible.

00:35:01.260 So that's the one part.

00:35:02.580 Then there's all the other

00:35:03.260 parts of the brain

00:35:04.000 that interact.

00:35:04.580 Now we see that

00:35:05.520 the chemicals

00:35:06.740 that pay an impact,

00:35:07.520 this pays an impact,

00:35:08.620 the quantum wave

00:35:09.640 plays an impact.

00:35:10.660 By the time you've

00:35:11.340 built all those factors in,

00:35:12.840 you'll see it's

00:35:13.320 absolutely impossible

00:35:14.480 to do that.

00:35:15.940 The big leader

00:35:16.560 in this field

00:35:17.220 has been actually

00:35:18.700 also a South African,

00:35:20.260 a guy who ran

00:35:21.600 the Blue Brain Project

00:35:24.440 and the change

00:35:25.400 into another name.

00:35:27.180 And basically,

00:35:27.980 oh, I've gone blank now,

00:35:28.780 his name's going to

00:35:29.200 come back in a moment.

00:35:30.480 He basically,

00:35:31.360 his whole goal

00:35:32.120 was to build a,

00:35:33.980 Mac, what was his name again?

00:35:35.640 Henry Markram.

00:35:36.240 Henry Markram.

00:35:36.660 Henry Markram, thank you.

00:35:37.540 Henry Markram.

00:35:38.980 His whole goal,

00:35:40.060 30 years ago,

00:35:40.740 he went to the same

00:35:41.260 university as I did,

00:35:42.580 was to build

00:35:43.320 an artificial brain.

00:35:44.900 12 years into the,

00:35:47.280 and he said he'd do it

00:35:47.920 in 12 years,

00:35:48.780 a few short years

00:35:49.640 into the project.

00:35:50.520 Now we're talking about

00:35:51.280 a guy who raised

00:35:52.440 billions of euros,

00:35:53.660 billions of dollars,

00:35:54.840 teams of scientists,

00:35:55.960 the best,

00:35:56.380 and he still runs

00:35:56.980 one of the biggest

00:35:57.480 brain projects

00:35:58.120 in the world.

00:35:58.620 He said,

00:36:00.000 and this is what

00:36:00.520 makes him brilliant

00:36:01.280 as a scientist,

00:36:02.820 I made a mistake.

00:36:04.460 My mistake was

00:36:05.260 to think

00:36:05.900 that we could simulate

00:36:07.000 the human brain

00:36:08.380 in a computer,

00:36:09.480 that we could make

00:36:10.100 something that's

00:36:11.000 not this physical structure

00:36:14.100 that we see

00:36:14.720 into something

00:36:15.620 that we could predict

00:36:16.480 and program

00:36:17.100 and say this person's

00:36:18.720 that and that

00:36:19.100 and build that.

00:36:19.880 That, it's impossible.

00:36:21.280 He said after 30...

00:36:22.260 You think that's impossible?

00:36:23.140 Yes.

00:36:23.400 He says it's impossible?

00:36:23.960 Yes.

00:36:24.460 After 30 years,

00:36:25.400 there's no project

00:36:26.160 that's bigger than his.

00:36:26.880 After 30 years of doing this,

00:36:28.080 what they've managed

00:36:28.680 to do with the top

00:36:29.400 scientists in the world

00:36:30.340 is they've managed

00:36:31.520 to simulate

00:36:32.920 one thought

00:36:34.860 in a mouse brain

00:36:35.820 looking for cheese

00:36:37.580 or whatever

00:36:37.920 and it's a veritable universe.

00:36:40.120 So his argument

00:36:41.380 and then there's other people

00:36:42.260 like Hammerhoff

00:36:42.960 in Arizona

00:36:44.180 and Dr. Sir Roger Penrose,

00:36:46.580 the mathematician,

00:36:47.320 these scientists

00:36:48.240 that are like out there,

00:36:49.280 scientists that are brilliant,

00:36:50.940 that have shown

00:36:51.820 that it is absolutely

00:36:53.320 impossible

00:36:53.820 because one thought

00:36:54.800 is a veritable universe.

00:36:56.000 In a rat,

00:36:56.700 what are the thoughts

00:36:57.400 that you think

00:36:58.040 you never stop thinking?

00:36:59.820 You are constantly

00:37:00.580 building new thoughts.

00:37:02.020 Every 10 seconds,

00:37:02.980 you are able to consciously

00:37:04.120 and deliberately

00:37:04.620 capture your thoughts.

00:37:05.860 There's no space

00:37:07.040 that you're going to run out of

00:37:08.020 in your brain

00:37:08.620 in terms of the amount

00:37:09.460 of thoughts

00:37:09.820 and it's all different.

00:37:10.860 There's no similarity.

00:37:12.300 We're all a bit crazy.

00:37:13.300 There's no one...

00:37:14.360 So we can't get a model

00:37:15.620 that says,

00:37:16.420 if you have that type of model,

00:37:18.000 what we see is behavior.

00:37:19.700 We see interest.

00:37:21.000 We see four kids.

00:37:22.640 I see you've got three kids.

00:37:23.740 I've got four.

00:37:24.160 I see my one

00:37:25.060 who's much more interested

00:37:26.340 in kind of my field.

00:37:28.700 So that's what she went

00:37:30.000 into at university.

00:37:30.680 Another one who's totally

00:37:31.680 into the literature side.

00:37:32.700 Another one who's totally

00:37:33.380 into the history side.

00:37:34.520 So as a parent,

00:37:35.380 we make sure

00:37:36.520 that we expose our children,

00:37:38.220 help them.

00:37:38.620 Absolutely.

00:37:38.900 That's what we're talking about.

00:37:40.100 So then you guide them

00:37:41.340 and you give them

00:37:41.940 the opportunity.

00:37:42.800 So it's more creating opportunity.

00:37:44.520 But there isn't

00:37:45.120 a reductionistic way.

00:37:47.540 Neuroreductionism

00:37:47.980 has been burst

00:37:48.600 out of the MRI movement

00:37:50.300 in the mid-90s

00:37:51.380 where we could see

00:37:52.400 inside the brain.

00:37:53.140 And there was this love affair

00:37:54.020 that began with saying

00:37:55.420 that we can see this

00:37:56.820 in your brain.

00:37:57.420 This is the size change.

00:37:58.420 This causes this.

00:37:59.240 And it's not the truth.

00:38:00.720 An MRI is 70% inaccurate.

00:38:02.700 I work with QEEGs.

00:38:03.740 MRI is 70% inaccurate.

00:38:06.300 It's 70% false positives.

00:38:08.980 So it claims

00:38:09.460 40,000 studies

00:38:10.760 have been done on MRIs.

00:38:12.780 70% of what they find

00:38:16.240 is a false positive.

00:38:17.260 You cannot say

00:38:18.460 that this part of the brain

00:38:20.480 does this.

00:38:21.440 Therefore,

00:38:21.680 I don't have an MRI up here.

00:38:22.780 But this part of the brain

00:38:24.460 does this for this firing

00:38:25.620 to show the response

00:38:27.580 in the brain.

00:38:28.160 So what we can see

00:38:29.000 on a very broad scale

00:38:30.380 is a response.

00:38:31.480 Like I use QEEGs

00:38:32.580 in my research.

00:38:34.480 And a QEEG

00:38:35.140 is a very accurate way

00:38:36.220 of seeing activation

00:38:38.140 in the moment.

00:38:39.100 So I linked you up now

00:38:39.960 to a QEEG machine

00:38:41.180 and I had my technicians

00:38:42.120 analyze what's going on.

00:38:43.720 Both of us.

00:38:44.360 We would have a lot of

00:38:45.100 what we call

00:38:45.540 high gamma activity,

00:38:47.020 which is a wave

00:38:48.040 that shows a lot of

00:38:49.300 insight, deep thinking,

00:38:50.440 creative.

00:38:51.540 We're making a lot of links.

00:38:52.560 There's a lot of thinking

00:38:53.380 going on here.

00:38:54.940 If I was,

00:38:56.500 if we linked it up,

00:38:57.480 that machine up

00:38:58.340 to someone

00:38:58.760 who's in chronic stress,

00:39:00.060 who is just not,

00:39:01.500 who's waking up

00:39:02.000 in the morning

00:39:02.360 battling to get

00:39:02.980 through the day,

00:39:03.600 who's just stuck

00:39:04.460 in a pattern

00:39:04.900 of negativity

00:39:05.620 and worry

00:39:06.260 and is battling

00:39:07.240 to make it

00:39:07.800 through every moment,

00:39:08.720 we would see

00:39:09.380 very little gamma activity.

00:39:10.860 We would see patterns,

00:39:12.200 and it changes

00:39:12.600 every moment,

00:39:13.420 but we would see

00:39:13.980 a general pattern

00:39:15.060 of what we call

00:39:16.060 high beta activity

00:39:17.560 and whatever.

00:39:18.320 So there's certain

00:39:18.900 patterns,

00:39:19.660 but they don't,

00:39:20.280 they're not telling

00:39:20.780 you a story.

00:39:21.560 They're just patterns.

00:39:22.300 They're responses.

00:39:23.320 So the brain tells us

00:39:24.760 something's going on.

00:39:26.260 It's like standing

00:39:27.000 on a 20-foot building,

00:39:28.480 20th floor of a hotel,

00:39:30.060 and downstairs,

00:39:31.060 you see a group

00:39:31.840 of people talking.

00:39:32.860 You can't hear

00:39:33.720 what they're saying.

00:39:34.360 You can,

00:39:34.800 maybe if you lean

00:39:35.360 over the balcony

00:39:35.940 and open the window,

00:39:36.540 you can hear a little bit

00:39:37.160 of noise,

00:39:37.520 because noise carries,

00:39:38.880 and then you see

00:39:39.720 there's something going on.

00:39:40.560 So you see there's

00:39:40.960 maybe a fight

00:39:41.640 or an argument,

00:39:42.340 but you don't know

00:39:43.480 the detail

00:39:44.000 of what's going on.

00:39:44.960 That's what

00:39:45.320 brain technology tells us.

00:39:46.540 It tells us that

00:39:47.180 the brain,

00:39:48.000 something's going on

00:39:48.780 in the brain,

00:39:49.460 the brain responds

00:39:50.340 and the brain

00:39:50.920 constantly changes.

00:39:52.320 The greatest contribution

00:39:53.480 brain technology

00:39:54.500 has made

00:39:55.160 is that our brain

00:39:56.400 constantly changes,

00:39:57.940 and that's called

00:39:58.320 neuroplasticity.

00:39:58.960 How often?

00:40:00.320 It's changed now.

00:40:01.260 Every second is changing.

00:40:02.260 Every experience

00:40:02.820 is changing.

00:40:04.020 Back in the 80s,

00:40:05.100 I was trained.

00:40:06.280 I did a TED talk on this.

00:40:07.500 I was trained

00:40:08.280 that the brain

00:40:09.420 couldn't change.

00:40:10.100 I challenged that.

00:40:10.660 I did work with people

00:40:11.680 that had traumatic

00:40:12.560 brain injury,

00:40:14.080 like major,

00:40:15.260 that had been written off

00:40:16.100 by neurologists

00:40:16.780 and neurosurgeons,

00:40:18.040 and through deliberate

00:40:19.200 and intentional

00:40:19.820 building of the brain,

00:40:20.940 learning,

00:40:21.880 growing the brain,

00:40:22.880 studying daily,

00:40:24.240 working on mind management

00:40:25.780 for emotional stuff,

00:40:26.780 doing this mind work,

00:40:29.240 and that's just one case,

00:40:31.640 went back to university,

00:40:33.220 ended up finishing school,

00:40:34.380 getting high grades,

00:40:35.180 and this kid

00:40:36.200 had been written off

00:40:36.840 as a vegetable,

00:40:37.820 and I've seen that

00:40:38.440 happen way too often.

00:40:39.340 Not just me,

00:40:39.840 there's many scientists

00:40:40.780 who have since

00:40:41.540 shown that

00:40:42.500 when you use your mind,

00:40:44.020 your brain will change.

00:40:45.180 Now,

00:40:45.360 technologies confirm that.

00:40:47.040 MRIs show us,

00:40:48.040 yes,

00:40:48.220 I'm thinking

00:40:48.680 your brain is changing.

00:40:49.780 It never stays the same,

00:40:50.860 and that's the beauty

00:40:51.520 of humanity.

00:40:52.380 You're always changing.

00:40:53.600 So you don't fear

00:40:54.640 AI threat at all?

00:40:55.800 Not at all.

00:40:56.560 It's fantastic.

00:40:57.280 It's just giving us

00:40:57.840 more insight.

00:40:58.500 So this whole thing

00:40:59.260 about AI is going to

00:41:00.020 replace all jobs

00:41:01.200 and work.

00:41:02.060 You're saying

00:41:02.620 it would never.

00:41:03.180 It could never,

00:41:03.620 because it's just going

00:41:04.040 to make our jobs easier.

00:41:05.280 We're going to have

00:41:05.780 to be smarter

00:41:06.360 in how we manage things.

00:41:07.920 It's really,

00:41:08.680 it's like technology

00:41:09.420 on phones.

00:41:10.380 If technology's managed,

00:41:11.820 it's a tremendous asset

00:41:12.780 to humanity.

00:41:13.600 It's only when

00:41:14.160 it's mismanaged

00:41:15.080 that it becomes a problem.

00:41:16.840 So AI is a way of,

00:41:18.880 like the first quantum

00:41:19.760 computers have already

00:41:20.580 been built,

00:41:21.380 and that's a great way

00:41:22.520 of us being able

00:41:24.000 to understand knowledge

00:41:25.580 and manage knowledge

00:41:26.340 more effectively.

00:41:27.320 It's how we use

00:41:28.160 the technology

00:41:28.720 is always going

00:41:29.240 to be the issue.

00:41:30.060 It's how we use

00:41:30.740 brain technology

00:41:31.500 that's going to be

00:41:32.120 the issue.

00:41:32.960 Brain technology

00:41:33.600 has been used badly

00:41:35.140 for humanity

00:41:36.280 in a lot of ways,

00:41:37.020 very good in a lot of ways,

00:41:38.180 because it's given us

00:41:38.920 a lot about,

00:41:39.720 I mean,

00:41:40.040 through technology

00:41:40.700 I've learned

00:41:41.040 about the brain,

00:41:42.000 but it certainly

00:41:42.700 doesn't tell you

00:41:43.360 about how you,

00:41:44.840 okay,

00:41:45.420 let me explain this.

00:41:46.140 If the brain fires up

00:41:47.140 and you are looking

00:41:48.980 at a painting

00:41:49.600 and someone else

00:41:50.680 is going through

00:41:51.300 a trauma,

00:41:51.780 you can't see

00:41:52.540 that firing

00:41:53.220 in your brain.

00:41:54.200 I can't tell you

00:41:55.020 if that firing

00:41:55.680 is because you've

00:41:56.400 had a trauma

00:41:56.940 and you're

00:41:57.480 re-experiencing

00:41:58.120 a PTSD,

00:41:59.040 or you are looking

00:42:00.400 at a beautiful painting

00:42:01.240 because the same

00:42:01.760 kind of firing

00:42:02.320 happens in the brain.

00:42:02.980 You can't tell

00:42:03.700 by just looking.

00:42:04.240 You can't tell,

00:42:04.540 no.

00:42:04.760 So, say hypothetically,

00:42:05.500 you sit over here,

00:42:06.640 okay,

00:42:07.520 and you have this

00:42:08.360 QEEG,

00:42:09.000 whatever you've got

00:42:09.440 on my brain,

00:42:11.060 okay,

00:42:11.780 and we have

00:42:12.240 different things

00:42:12.760 that are coming

00:42:13.180 behind you.

00:42:13.780 You can't see

00:42:14.280 what I'm looking at,

00:42:15.040 right?

00:42:15.240 No.

00:42:15.800 You cannot find out

00:42:17.000 what, nothing.

00:42:18.480 So, there's

00:42:19.100 something going on.

00:42:19.860 It's very stimulated.

00:42:20.700 You can see you're

00:42:21.260 very stimulated.

00:42:22.000 There's a lot of activity

00:42:22.800 I can see from your eyes.

00:42:23.200 You can't differentiate

00:42:24.240 between the different

00:42:24.840 stimulations.

00:42:25.300 No, you can't.

00:42:25.520 You can't read thoughts.

00:42:26.780 And that's where

00:42:27.420 what Henry and Mark...

00:42:28.260 You think one day

00:42:28.860 we can't or no?

00:42:29.820 No, you can only

00:42:30.760 predict from

00:42:31.480 people's behavior.

00:42:32.800 And we'll get...

00:42:33.500 Obviously, technology

00:42:34.260 is going to advance,

00:42:35.140 but not in a thousand

00:42:36.200 times a thousand years.

00:42:37.200 So, therefore,

00:42:37.780 literally,

00:42:38.200 this is what Henry Markram

00:42:39.200 and Hammerhoff,

00:42:40.440 which are the two

00:42:40.900 leaders in this field,

00:42:41.820 they're really the leaders

00:42:42.700 fighting the AI movement

00:42:44.300 in terms of not

00:42:44.980 fighting it in terms

00:42:45.940 of you mustn't develop

00:42:46.800 technology,

00:42:47.680 but you need to be

00:42:48.580 realistic.

00:42:49.580 If one thought

00:42:50.520 in a mouse brain

00:42:51.320 is a veritable universe,

00:42:52.900 how are many other

00:42:53.980 thoughts in your brain?

00:42:55.480 And what kind of universe?

00:42:56.600 It's a universe.

00:42:57.360 Your child,

00:42:57.940 your children,

00:42:58.500 your little girl,

00:42:59.540 she's a universe of thoughts

00:43:00.960 and you'll never

00:43:01.980 fully understand her.

00:43:03.000 You'll never fully know

00:43:03.900 or be able to predict

00:43:05.020 how she's going

00:43:05.920 to react tomorrow.

00:43:06.680 You can estimate,

00:43:07.900 but you will always be.

00:43:08.940 Quantum physics shows us

00:43:09.900 that you can know

00:43:10.660 your wife,

00:43:11.140 you can know your child,

00:43:11.960 you can know your husband,

00:43:13.120 but you'll still be

00:43:14.280 30% inaccurate.

00:43:15.600 If I don't know you

00:43:16.460 at all well,

00:43:17.740 I've only watched you

00:43:18.500 on your interviews,

00:43:19.780 so I'm going to guess,

00:43:21.100 but I'm going to be

00:43:21.600 50% inaccurate.

00:43:22.900 I know my husband very well

00:43:23.940 because I've been married

00:43:24.400 for 32 years.

00:43:25.600 I can guess,

00:43:26.460 but I'm still going to be

00:43:27.260 only 70%

00:43:28.540 in that region accurate.

00:43:30.420 So we thought,

00:43:31.520 the eye factor

00:43:33.040 is this beautiful

00:43:34.200 part of humanity

00:43:35.720 that we need to respect

00:43:37.020 and it can always change.

00:43:38.060 So if someone has done something

00:43:39.380 and they've been doing it

00:43:40.280 for more than 63 days,

00:43:42.340 they have wired a pattern

00:43:43.720 into their brain

00:43:44.360 like a pathway.

00:43:45.160 It looks like a toxic tree.

00:43:46.180 That's why I use this.

00:43:47.220 It's a real protein.

00:43:48.180 It's all computers

00:43:48.860 and those computers

00:43:50.060 have been very,

00:43:50.920 very established.

00:43:52.720 It takes 21 days

00:43:53.720 to build a long-term memory.

00:43:54.740 It takes 63 days minimum

00:43:56.720 to build a habit.

00:43:57.620 Not 21 like we've been told.

00:43:59.120 63.

00:43:59.900 Anything after that,

00:44:00.860 you're going to expert level.

00:44:02.220 So if I have for six years

00:44:04.000 been worrying,

00:44:05.480 I'm an expert warrior.

00:44:06.460 It doesn't mean

00:44:07.020 that's who I am.

00:44:08.140 That's who I've become.

00:44:09.240 So I can unbecome.

00:44:10.880 It's hard work.

00:44:11.880 I'm going to have to do

00:44:12.620 a lot of mind work.

00:44:13.620 I'm going to have to do

00:44:14.040 a lot of mind management

00:44:15.240 to use emotional signals

00:44:17.400 like depression

00:44:18.040 and anxiety

00:44:18.720 and schizophrenia

00:44:19.680 and all that stuff

00:44:20.520 we initially spoke about.

00:44:21.660 I'm going to have to use that

00:44:23.120 to find out

00:44:24.700 what is the cause

00:44:25.780 of why I'm so negative.

00:44:27.040 How did you find out

00:44:28.340 about 63 instead of 21 days?

00:44:30.380 That's memory research.

00:44:31.600 I've written about it

00:44:32.440 also in that book,

00:44:33.120 Think, Learn, Succeed.

00:44:34.260 So it's basically

00:44:34.920 what we see is your brain,

00:44:36.460 your body works

00:44:37.100 in cycles of healing.

00:44:38.840 So if you have a blister,

00:44:40.300 you'll find that it takes,

00:44:41.320 for example,

00:44:41.820 21 days to more or less,

00:44:44.020 it could be 23,

00:44:45.240 it could be 20,

00:44:45.720 it could be 19,

00:44:46.300 but it's in that region

00:44:47.220 we see that it takes

00:44:48.800 cycles of that to heal.

00:44:49.900 Dr. Marion Diamond

00:44:51.320 who died last year

00:44:52.640 at 84,

00:44:53.480 one of the leading researchers

00:44:54.560 in this particular field

00:44:55.760 of memory,

00:44:56.620 she showed how

00:44:57.580 the little branches

00:44:58.680 that are made

00:44:59.400 of millions of computers

00:45:00.500 that hold your memories

00:45:02.680 as vibrations

00:45:03.460 on the tops of the trees

00:45:05.140 that over time

00:45:06.600 the branches change shape

00:45:08.500 and it takes 21 days

00:45:11.200 for the branches

00:45:11.820 to reach a certain shape

00:45:12.980 and when they reach

00:45:13.580 that certain shape

00:45:14.460 they're made of proteins

00:45:15.720 that are what we call

00:45:16.440 self-sustainable.

00:45:17.540 So we see a change

00:45:18.400 in proteins,

00:45:19.220 some proteins

00:45:20.160 are very unstable

00:45:21.040 that only last

00:45:21.740 for 24, 48 hours,

00:45:23.800 some only last 7 days,

00:45:25.000 some 14 days,

00:45:25.940 some 21 days.

00:45:27.060 So we can see

00:45:27.800 that that's the kind

00:45:28.460 of what we're talking about.

00:45:29.520 We can see a change

00:45:30.560 and a progression.

00:45:31.980 Now even a long-term memory

00:45:33.520 can be reconceptualized

00:45:35.880 and that means

00:45:36.860 I'll always remember,

00:45:38.300 so let's say for example

00:45:39.280 someone is the half glass,

00:45:41.880 sees the glass half empty

00:45:44.800 and they've just been in that

00:45:46.300 and it's just like

00:45:47.020 these people just always

00:45:48.220 going to see the negative first.

00:45:49.320 Every business meeting

00:45:50.840 they just always

00:45:51.900 see the negative

00:45:52.480 but that person can change.

00:45:54.640 They very well,

00:45:55.280 they become an expert

00:45:56.100 in being negative

00:45:56.800 but they can actually

00:45:58.260 unwire that.

00:45:59.380 They can get to the point

00:46:00.800 where it's a lot of work.

00:46:02.020 You've got to go through

00:46:02.980 the pain of doing it

00:46:03.900 which people don't want to

00:46:05.060 in this day and age

00:46:05.720 and that's something

00:46:06.220 we should maybe discuss

00:46:07.240 but you can change that

00:46:09.000 and reverse that process.

00:46:10.600 Then one day

00:46:11.220 that guy in your meeting

00:46:12.120 you'll say wow,

00:46:13.020 you actually see...

00:46:13.380 How do you do that?

00:46:13.880 I'm going to show you

00:46:16.080 I'm going to talk

00:46:16.720 about that in a moment

00:46:17.400 so that guy will actually

00:46:18.260 then say hey,

00:46:19.300 now I am...

00:46:21.060 You see something positive

00:46:22.100 so Patrick says

00:46:22.760 to the business employee

00:46:23.680 hey, you're actually

00:46:24.380 seeing this differently

00:46:25.100 what did you do?

00:46:25.880 It's been hard work

00:46:26.580 whatever.

00:46:27.240 What has that person done?

00:46:28.680 That person has seen

00:46:29.840 the response of

00:46:30.920 and I'm just using this

00:46:32.300 because we brought it up first

00:46:33.900 of your colleagues,

00:46:35.700 his colleagues,

00:46:36.340 his boss, etc.

00:46:37.600 getting kind of

00:46:38.400 a little bit put off

00:46:39.480 by the negativity.

00:46:40.660 We all know you're

00:46:41.440 around someone negative

00:46:42.220 it can impact you

00:46:43.100 because they're generating

00:46:43.740 toxic photons

00:46:44.620 and whatever.

00:46:45.960 So by looking at the response

00:46:48.180 and the feedback

00:46:48.980 they make a choice.

00:46:50.560 That's the initial start process.

00:46:52.680 So once I recognize

00:46:53.600 okay, people don't

00:46:54.700 I need to do something.

00:46:55.940 It's either feedback from people

00:46:57.760 or I can't go on like this anymore.

00:46:59.640 I'm burning out stress wise.

00:47:00.960 I'm getting sick

00:47:01.620 because there's a relationship

00:47:02.660 between chronic ongoing inflammation

00:47:04.800 and physical illnesses

00:47:06.620 in your body

00:47:07.100 which I've just done research on now

00:47:08.760 and the mind stuff

00:47:10.320 and how you can change that.

00:47:11.280 So what this person does

00:47:12.940 first is an awareness.

00:47:14.200 It's embracing it

00:47:15.380 either from feedback

00:47:16.440 or from I can't go

00:47:17.680 on like this anymore.

00:47:18.460 So there's some level

00:47:19.300 of awareness.

00:47:20.380 I've got to embrace.

00:47:21.460 Step number one

00:47:22.000 embrace, acknowledge.

00:47:23.080 It's all the same thing.

00:47:24.140 I've got to get to the point

00:47:25.020 where I'm going to do that

00:47:26.440 and in that is the choice

00:47:27.960 okay, I want to change.

00:47:29.260 I don't want to have

00:47:29.880 this feedback anymore.

00:47:30.780 I want to improve my relationship.

00:47:32.340 I don't want to keep

00:47:33.160 living a life

00:47:33.760 where I'm always worrying

00:47:35.100 or always anxious.

00:47:36.720 It's making me sick

00:47:37.540 which it is

00:47:38.080 which it does.

00:47:39.040 So that's the first step.

00:47:40.880 Embrace, acknowledge

00:47:41.580 and choose.

00:47:42.440 Then you've got to go

00:47:43.220 through a very painful

00:47:44.140 process of processing

00:47:45.900 and that is a process

00:47:48.500 of why do I do this?

00:47:50.800 Why am I always negative?

00:47:52.520 And it's a process,

00:47:54.260 it's an exercise

00:47:55.000 where you literally

00:47:55.880 go through five steps

00:47:57.020 for 30 minutes a day

00:47:58.100 and I always recommend

00:47:59.160 to my patients

00:47:59.880 and my research has shown

00:48:00.920 stick around 30 minutes.

00:48:02.440 45 minutes is pushing it

00:48:04.020 because it's heavy stuff.

00:48:05.500 When you start digging

00:48:06.580 into trauma

00:48:07.240 or dealing with

00:48:08.300 your toxic habits

00:48:09.080 it's very draining.

00:48:11.180 So you've got to limit that.

00:48:12.640 Otherwise the whole day

00:48:13.480 it becomes this big

00:48:14.280 emotional washout

00:48:15.140 and you become very eye focused

00:48:16.440 which is very unhealthy

00:48:17.300 for your heart.

00:48:18.680 The more times you say

00:48:20.180 I, me and mine

00:48:21.900 you're going to increase

00:48:23.860 your chance by 42%

00:48:25.320 of having a cardiovascular event

00:48:26.980 in the next 12 months.

00:48:28.440 So we don't want to

00:48:29.060 turn people into self.

00:48:29.900 Why is that?

00:48:30.960 Because of the

00:48:31.660 I, me and mine.

00:48:33.000 Pressure's all on you.

00:48:33.800 It's on me.

00:48:34.560 You're putting it inside.

00:48:35.540 You're focusing on yourself.

00:48:36.860 You go around in circles.

00:48:38.180 You don't get perspective

00:48:39.020 and you've got to have

00:48:39.900 interaction with others.

00:48:40.980 You've got to have

00:48:41.320 deep meaningful relationships.

00:48:42.840 So the more self-focused

00:48:44.580 you become

00:48:45.100 the more your heart

00:48:45.740 becomes strained.

00:48:46.960 Your blood vessels

00:48:47.580 start going

00:48:48.140 your body goes

00:48:48.740 into toxic stress.

00:48:50.300 Your blood vessels

00:48:50.840 around your heart

00:48:51.440 constrict.

00:48:52.520 You reduce oxygen

00:48:53.500 and blood flow

00:48:54.040 to your brain

00:48:54.560 and you set yourself

00:48:55.180 up for cardiovascular.

00:48:56.560 So the more you

00:48:57.180 I, me, mine, myself

00:48:58.260 or I, I, I

00:48:59.340 isolation, individualism

00:49:00.740 the more you're going to die

00:49:02.240 which is what we see.

00:49:03.160 In this day and age

00:49:04.400 we see an increase

00:49:05.180 in cardiovascular events

00:49:06.260 in the United States

00:49:07.220 in UK

00:49:08.220 in developed countries

00:49:09.780 that have an individualistic focus.

00:49:12.420 We see way less

00:49:13.440 in countries

00:49:14.120 that have a community focus

00:49:15.380 like Japan

00:49:16.060 and you know

00:49:16.860 the various different countries

00:49:18.760 that have more

00:49:19.560 of a community focus.

00:49:20.820 This country

00:49:21.680 is the most individualized

00:49:23.340 one of the most

00:49:24.060 individualized countries

00:49:25.080 or you saw

00:49:26.060 the loneliest in the world

00:49:27.120 and we have one

00:49:28.180 of the highest rates

00:49:29.060 of people dying

00:49:29.740 from isolation

00:49:30.540 cardiovascular disease

00:49:32.160 etc.

00:49:32.780 annually

00:49:33.100 and I mean

00:49:34.160 this is becoming

00:49:34.740 a problem

00:49:35.180 in as much

00:49:36.700 of a problem

00:49:37.060 as the UK

00:49:37.620 Australia

00:49:38.740 the developed countries.

00:49:40.300 We see more and more

00:49:41.060 where we see more community

00:49:42.380 like in Africa

00:49:43.140 Cambodia

00:49:43.760 we see less and less

00:49:45.680 of that.

00:49:46.300 We see people dying

00:49:46.940 from malnutrition

00:49:47.720 and hygiene

00:49:48.840 and that kind of stuff

00:49:50.280 but we don't see them dying

00:49:51.700 because they're lonely.

00:49:53.240 This country

00:49:53.680 people are nutritious

00:49:54.480 they're healthy

00:49:55.940 they're well fed

00:49:56.820 they are successful

00:49:58.400 Kate Spade

00:49:59.120 they are beautiful

00:50:00.660 and they're committing suicide

00:50:02.700 you know what I'm saying

00:50:04.260 so we've got a problem there.

00:50:06.360 So coming back

00:50:07.060 to the question

00:50:07.880 you asked me

00:50:08.340 how someone changes

00:50:09.120 we've got to do the same thing.

00:50:10.720 What's the five steps?

00:50:11.640 So the five steps

00:50:12.440 first of all

00:50:12.880 is gather.

00:50:14.080 Gather?

00:50:14.660 Gather

00:50:14.880 that's a big word

00:50:15.820 for embrace

00:50:16.460 acknowledge.

00:50:18.280 Embrace

00:50:18.720 that you have an issue

00:50:20.140 step up

00:50:20.580 kind of like

00:50:21.220 your first acceptance

00:50:22.920 that there's an issue

00:50:23.460 You've got to accept

00:50:24.240 there's an issue

00:50:24.800 What's the second one?

00:50:25.560 Second one

00:50:26.200 is you've got to reflect

00:50:27.280 it's a deep reflection

00:50:28.560 it's a process

00:50:29.220 this is the most painful part

00:50:30.540 it's like a surgeon

00:50:31.880 will say

00:50:32.240 my friends

00:50:32.660 I've got a lot of doctor friends

00:50:33.600 and they'll say

00:50:34.620 that they've got to

00:50:35.140 first cut up the patient

00:50:36.180 to heal them

00:50:37.020 so you've got to go

00:50:37.500 through the pain

00:50:38.020 before

00:50:38.380 got to hurt you

00:50:39.040 to heal you

00:50:39.580 so that's the very

00:50:40.740 it's this whole process

00:50:41.760 is hard

00:50:42.740 I'm not lying

00:50:43.960 but it's good

00:50:45.000 and it takes time

00:50:46.240 it's going to take

00:50:47.140 cycles of 21 days

00:50:48.220 so the second process

00:50:49.760 is deep reflection

00:50:50.620 where you are basically

00:50:51.660 trying to track

00:50:52.620 back to

00:50:53.820 not necessarily back

00:50:55.780 but why am I doing this?

00:50:57.400 Are you studying your trends?

00:50:59.040 You're looking at your trends

00:50:59.980 your patterns

00:51:00.600 so the first thing

00:51:01.900 is to start

00:51:02.480 is to take

00:51:03.100 okay I'm depressed

00:51:04.220 this is an emotional

00:51:05.040 warning signal

00:51:05.720 my body's got

00:51:06.460 physical warning signals

00:51:07.480 so you're embracing

00:51:08.680 the emotional

00:51:09.380 and physical warning signals

00:51:10.560 from the environment

00:51:11.680 and from yourself

00:51:12.440 you're then thinking

00:51:13.820 about these

00:51:14.440 okay so why am I always

00:51:15.800 negative

00:51:16.780 why am I always depressed

00:51:18.300 why am I anxious

00:51:19.040 and as you go through

00:51:20.400 that process

00:51:21.100 of self-reflection

00:51:22.200 you're getting to the point

00:51:23.740 where you're not

00:51:24.220 where you're just trying

00:51:24.940 to find

00:51:25.280 get to

00:51:26.080 it's day

00:51:26.860 every day it's a little bit

00:51:27.840 to the point where you find

00:51:28.940 okay well maybe

00:51:29.780 this is at the end of 21 days

00:51:31.320 you see oh I'm anxious

00:51:32.700 because I'm actually

00:51:33.740 trying to be a perfectionist

00:51:35.120 I'm trying to control

00:51:35.900 everything in my environment

00:51:37.140 and it's not quite working out

00:51:39.280 or maybe it's because

00:51:40.260 there's a trauma

00:51:40.900 that you've never dealt with

00:51:42.040 you've kept yourself

00:51:43.040 so busy trying to suppress

00:51:44.240 the trauma

00:51:44.680 that it's actually made you

00:51:45.640 whatever

00:51:46.380 it's going to be different

00:51:47.460 for everyone

00:51:47.720 there's no pattern

00:51:48.460 there's no link

00:51:49.740 between if I've had

00:51:51.500 sexual trauma

00:51:52.240 and heart disease

00:51:53.480 or something

00:51:53.880 people have tried to do that

00:51:55.020 they've tried to show that

00:51:55.900 if you've got a gallbladder issue

00:51:57.400 it's anger

00:51:57.800 this is just not science

00:51:59.080 at all

00:51:59.420 this is just guessing games

00:52:00.540 because someone who's angry

00:52:01.620 could have gallbladder issues

00:52:02.600 and they could have

00:52:03.140 a cardiovascular issue

00:52:04.040 it's different for each person

00:52:06.140 it's so

00:52:07.220 our genome is unique

00:52:08.540 our eye factor is unique

00:52:10.420 gather

00:52:10.980 then you have reflect pain

00:52:12.860 then the third thing

00:52:14.180 is we've got to

00:52:14.900 genetically process

00:52:15.760 so what we've got to do

00:52:16.580 is we've got to make our brain

00:52:17.380 do stuff

00:52:17.700 we've got to write

00:52:18.340 the third process is write

00:52:20.080 when you write

00:52:20.740 you're clearing out

00:52:21.760 a lot of

00:52:23.300 and when I say write

00:52:24.960 it's like literally

00:52:25.940 throw it on the page

00:52:27.320 because you'll see

00:52:28.160 my sequence that I've developed

00:52:29.600 you literally spend

00:52:30.620 a minute and a half

00:52:31.500 to two minutes

00:52:32.200 doing each of these

00:52:32.900 so you would gather

00:52:33.460 for a minute and a half

00:52:34.480 you would reflect

00:52:36.020 for a minute and a half

00:52:37.040 you would write

00:52:37.940 for a minute and a half

00:52:38.980 a little bit longer

00:52:40.120 if you want to

00:52:40.740 and then you would recheck

00:52:43.560 now recheck is a process

00:52:45.480 where you go back

00:52:46.320 and look for your patterns

00:52:47.140 your triggers

00:52:47.680 your what does this mean

00:52:50.040 so if you think of it

00:52:51.120 I've become aware

00:52:51.860 of something going on

00:52:52.800 negative half glass

00:52:54.600 worry anxiety

00:52:55.940 whatever

00:52:56.240 I am reflecting

00:52:57.820 why am I feeling

00:52:58.660 I'm starting to get to the root

00:52:59.980 because it's only a minute and a half

00:53:00.980 and you must move on

00:53:01.800 you're writing that down

00:53:03.040 so maybe a bunch of jumble

00:53:04.280 that you write down

00:53:05.000 your recheck looks at your jumble

00:53:06.620 and tries to get some level of order

00:53:08.100 then you go to

00:53:10.380 as you get that level of order

00:53:12.140 you say

00:53:12.360 okay what's my little tiny task for today

00:53:14.940 and it may be as simple as

00:53:16.940 when I feel this anxiety coming on

00:53:19.880 I'm going to compartmentalize it

00:53:22.420 and I'm going to only worry about it

00:53:23.700 tonight at six o'clock

00:53:24.960 it could be a simple statement like that

00:53:27.040 that's still on number four

00:53:27.920 that's number four leading to number five

00:53:30.480 so number four is recheck

00:53:31.400 so I see that I'm always worrying

00:53:32.500 in certain situations

00:53:33.340 but in a minute and a half

00:53:34.720 there's only a little bit of information

00:53:36.000 you've gathered

00:53:36.460 which is the point

00:53:37.220 you must only get a bit every day

00:53:38.900 not everything every day

00:53:40.320 we can't solve it all

00:53:41.240 Rome was not built in a day

00:53:42.460 it's little things change over time

00:53:44.700 we try and fix it quick

00:53:45.820 you can't get there

00:53:46.580 it's a process

00:53:47.440 you have to dig it out of your non-conscious

00:53:48.860 it's a deep investigative

00:53:50.900 detective process that you're doing

00:53:52.900 so let's say now that you start seeing

00:53:54.980 okay I'm worrying because of this

00:53:56.120 or I'm negative

00:53:56.580 and I'm starting to get a glimpse of

00:53:58.360 well maybe it could be this

00:53:59.960 or maybe

00:54:00.360 so what can I do today

00:54:01.820 as a little activity

00:54:03.340 active reach

00:54:04.240 activity

00:54:04.980 active reach

00:54:06.020 and active reach

00:54:07.420 is then if I see that

00:54:09.140 let's take the worrying thing

00:54:10.280 I just

00:54:11.180 I wake up and I'm worrying

00:54:12.580 that's like the day

00:54:13.800 I'm stuck

00:54:14.380 so I say okay

00:54:15.560 I'm aware that I'm worrying

00:54:16.800 all I've worked out today

00:54:18.260 it's day one

00:54:19.040 I've just worked out

00:54:19.740 that I actually never stop worrying

00:54:21.480 so cool

00:54:22.540 what's my active reach

00:54:23.480 as I worry

00:54:25.040 as that hits me in the face

00:54:26.860 I'm going to say

00:54:27.420 okay this worry

00:54:28.280 I can't deal with now

00:54:29.540 I'm going to deal with tonight

00:54:31.300 so now

00:54:32.460 it's six o'clock in the morning

00:54:33.600 I'll deal with it

00:54:34.080 six o'clock tonight

00:54:34.820 as you go through the day

00:54:35.980 prioritizing your worries

00:54:36.500 it is that

00:54:37.320 but also what happens

00:54:38.140 is you take the energy

00:54:38.920 away from the worry

00:54:39.660 now you must remember

00:54:40.780 that well I haven't even

00:54:41.820 told you this much clearly

00:54:43.200 but every thought you build

00:54:44.540 is a real living thing

00:54:46.640 it has energy

00:54:47.840 it's firing energy

00:54:48.820 so if I take this worry

00:54:51.300 toxic

00:54:51.720 and I say

00:54:52.640 okay keep quiet

00:54:53.580 you're in a box

00:54:54.140 I'm not going to deal with you

00:54:54.900 and you've disciplined yourself

00:54:55.800 not to think about it

00:54:56.680 and by the time

00:54:57.660 six o'clock tonight

00:54:58.340 comes twelve hours later

00:54:59.360 that thing's lost energy

00:55:00.580 most likely that worry

00:55:02.900 that's so powerful

00:55:03.200 what you just said right there

00:55:04.140 because

00:55:06.100 I talk about this

00:55:08.880 with a lot of guys

00:55:10.200 where

00:55:10.580 you know

00:55:11.520 your brain automatically

00:55:13.620 is going to a problem

00:55:14.300 I can't believe

00:55:14.740 this person said this

00:55:15.980 I can't believe

00:55:16.400 we're facing this

00:55:17.040 oh my gosh

00:55:17.600 look what's going on

00:55:18.200 this is going to be

00:55:18.680 so much bigger

00:55:19.400 you know

00:55:20.180 this is terrible

00:55:20.960 set it aside

00:55:22.220 six hours later

00:55:23.100 don't give it any weight

00:55:24.000 don't give it any power

00:55:24.940 six hours later

00:55:25.600 you're not even thinking about it

00:55:26.480 okay so there's the science

00:55:27.300 behind it

00:55:27.820 so the science is that

00:55:28.940 whatever you don't think about

00:55:30.180 grows

00:55:30.520 so that worry

00:55:31.120 and also worry

00:55:31.680 whatever you don't think about

00:55:32.740 whatever you don't think

00:55:33.900 won't grow

00:55:34.320 whatever you think about

00:55:35.580 grows

00:55:35.880 so these things feed on energy

00:55:37.760 so if I keep thinking about that

00:55:39.640 all day long

00:55:40.220 I'm getting myself in a toxic mess

00:55:41.720 you get stuck

00:55:42.380 that's why we have to deal with trauma

00:55:43.980 we have to deal with our habits

00:55:45.000 because they keep us stuck

00:55:46.140 we've got to get them out

00:55:47.600 and change them

00:55:48.700 so if I put that

00:55:49.540 by the end of the evening

00:55:50.340 this thing is lost worry

00:55:51.320 or even tomorrow

00:55:51.980 or once a week

00:55:53.680 you can have your little worry

00:55:54.740 Mac always talks about

00:55:56.180 having a little

00:55:56.660 my husband

00:55:57.120 he has like

00:55:58.060 he's in his mind

00:55:59.220 mentally there's a little worry book

00:56:00.440 and Thursday afternoon

00:56:01.260 at four o'clock worry book time

00:56:02.600 everything goes in that book

00:56:04.180 he allows himself

00:56:04.720 one day a week

00:56:05.360 to worry about it

00:56:06.140 and by the time he gets there

00:56:07.400 it doesn't happen anymore

00:56:08.320 now what's happening scientifically

00:56:09.860 is that research shows

00:56:11.000 that 95% of our worries

00:56:12.900 don't materialize anyway

00:56:14.340 so by the time we get there

00:56:15.960 in the afternoon

00:56:16.640 or next week

00:56:17.260 or whenever it is

00:56:17.900 that you decide to worry

00:56:18.900 you actually

00:56:19.900 it's lost its power

00:56:20.860 over you

00:56:21.740 and so that's just a little technique

00:56:23.620 and that's typical of an active reach

00:56:25.200 now what I did with my patients

00:56:26.740 is I developed this technique

00:56:27.800 it's been clinically tested

00:56:28.900 scientifically researched

00:56:30.020 clinically applied

00:56:30.900 was put it in my materials

00:56:32.500 but we've just released

00:56:33.480 an app now where

00:56:34.420 I've put this

00:56:35.320 because people have been asking me

00:56:36.340 for years

00:56:36.720 I don't do therapy anymore

00:56:37.820 I don't have time

00:56:38.440 I teach this around the world

00:56:39.540 so now I've put all of this

00:56:40.800 into a mobile app

00:56:42.340 so on your phone

00:56:43.200 you know mobile application

00:56:44.060 so it's literally therapy

00:56:45.520 what's the app called

00:56:46.220 called switch

00:56:47.140 switch

00:56:47.820 switch

00:56:48.380 switch

00:56:48.940 switch your mind

00:56:49.880 we're going to put the link below

00:56:50.840 if you're watching this

00:56:52.040 we're going to put the link below

00:56:52.820 for the app

00:56:53.340 so you can go download it

00:56:54.340 and test it for yourself

00:56:55.500 so switch

00:56:56.300 switch

00:56:56.780 it's called iTunes

00:56:57.640 Google Play

00:56:58.140 all of it

00:56:58.480 and that basically walks you

00:56:59.880 through these five steps

00:57:00.660 all audio driven

00:57:01.440 and then I have little things on there

00:57:02.620 like if you're having a panic attack

00:57:03.780 like maybe you're about to go

00:57:04.860 in a meeting

00:57:05.280 you can press play

00:57:06.460 and there'll be a guided meditation

00:57:08.440 let's talk about that

00:57:09.680 yeah

00:57:09.980 they're going to get the app

00:57:10.920 our guys will download the app

00:57:11.800 let's talk about that

00:57:12.760 so next thing

00:57:14.180 so for me

00:57:14.900 a few things that

00:57:17.560 you see a lot

00:57:18.660 that's coming up recently

00:57:19.840 is all the medication

00:57:21.820 that we're being asked to take

00:57:23.420 right

00:57:23.700 I have kids

00:57:24.380 and I'll let you know

00:57:25.740 how the meeting goes

00:57:26.480 you know

00:57:26.900 your son doesn't really

00:57:28.920 pay attention in the class

00:57:30.280 and he kind of struggles with

00:57:31.680 you know

00:57:32.560 being a present

00:57:33.580 and he's always

00:57:34.400 dozing off

00:57:35.160 and he's going different places

00:57:36.060 and I say

00:57:36.380 yeah that's my son

00:57:37.300 he reminds me a little bit of myself

00:57:38.680 when I was that age

00:57:39.360 so

00:57:40.100 from your perspective

00:57:42.260 whether we're dealing with

00:57:43.400 bipolar

00:57:44.020 ADHD

00:57:44.900 depression

00:57:45.860 panic

00:57:46.520 how much of that

00:57:48.340 is part of our perception

00:57:50.880 which is how we're born

00:57:52.440 I'm born being bipolar

00:57:54.200 I'm born having ADHD

00:57:56.480 how much of it is

00:57:58.520 imagination

00:57:59.660 I think I have this

00:58:01.340 how much of it is

00:58:02.360 somebody else imposing

00:58:03.280 that belief on you

00:58:04.200 and how much of it is real

00:58:05.020 what would you say

00:58:06.180 much so

00:58:06.460 excellent question

00:58:07.060 okay so now we're dealing

00:58:07.940 with something called

00:58:08.680 that falls in the realm

00:58:09.580 of mental illness

00:58:10.360 and it's a complete misnomer

00:58:12.200 because we're told

00:58:13.040 that mental illness

00:58:13.760 number one

00:58:14.300 to answer your question

00:58:15.000 is on the rise

00:58:15.900 and that we've got

00:58:17.160 more and more kids

00:58:17.780 that need to be identified

00:58:18.800 with all these

00:58:19.640 these bipolar

00:58:21.040 etc etc

00:58:21.680 but actually mental illness

00:58:23.220 is not on the rise

00:58:24.160 what's happened

00:58:25.000 is we have mismanagement

00:58:26.360 of mind

00:58:27.200 that has created

00:58:28.020 a whole new problem

00:58:29.040 so what we have

00:58:30.280 an issue here

00:58:31.260 is that mental illness

00:58:32.020 doesn't actually exist

00:58:33.440 now hear me carefully

00:58:34.540 I'm not saying that

00:58:35.660 depression isn't real

00:58:37.180 I am saying

00:58:37.800 it's incredibly real

00:58:39.000 schizophrenia

00:58:40.120 psychotic breaks

00:58:41.160 bipolar

00:58:41.740 these things are very real

00:58:43.540 but they're not illnesses

00:58:44.740 they're not physical

00:58:46.400 illnesses in your brain

00:58:47.480 you don't have bipolar

00:58:48.500 waiting to jump out

00:58:49.560 and ADHD waiting

00:58:50.960 to jump out

00:58:51.780 and which is where

00:58:52.940 the neurobiological

00:58:53.920 or neuro reductionistic

00:58:55.180 biomedical

00:58:55.920 neuropsychiatric model

00:58:57.400 which is all these names

00:58:58.840 for the same thing

00:58:59.540 are going

00:59:00.180 what the truth is

00:59:01.600 is that you're 99% mind

00:59:03.360 we have to deal

00:59:05.100 with that 99% mind

00:59:06.940 which is how you

00:59:08.000 are dealing with

00:59:08.700 what you're going

00:59:09.220 through in life

00:59:09.980 as its own

00:59:11.520 separate category

00:59:12.420 when we talk about

00:59:13.880 the physical brain

00:59:15.100 and body

00:59:15.580 we can test

00:59:16.820 if you've got

00:59:17.180 cardiovascular disease

00:59:18.240 if you've got diabetes

00:59:19.140 if you've got a traumatic

00:59:20.180 brain injury

00:59:20.720 in a car accident

00:59:22.040 and we see

00:59:22.520 if you've got tumours

00:59:23.460 in your brain

00:59:23.960 if you've got liver disease

00:59:24.880 if you've got fatty liver disease

00:59:25.980 whatever

00:59:26.220 we can do

00:59:27.860 biological tests

00:59:29.360 where we can blood test

00:59:30.460 we can do various

00:59:31.140 different tests

00:59:32.000 to identify

00:59:32.820 and treat

00:59:33.560 it works

00:59:34.420 that's called

00:59:34.860 the biomedical model

00:59:35.940 and it works

00:59:36.820 for the physical brain

00:59:37.720 and body

00:59:38.080 it's excellent

00:59:38.920 however

00:59:39.780 in this

00:59:40.260 about 60 years ago

00:59:41.840 and it really hit

00:59:43.140 in the 80s

00:59:43.840 that whole category

00:59:45.640 got blended

00:59:46.260 and people's mind issues

00:59:48.760 stopped being called

00:59:50.720 mind issues

00:59:51.600 and started being called

00:59:52.520 illnesses

00:59:53.160 against many scientists

00:59:55.680 and being anti that

00:59:58.200 but a movement began

00:59:59.780 because it's not accurate

01:00:00.980 because you can't

01:00:02.140 cause something

01:00:02.740 why does something

01:00:03.260 why did it go from

01:00:04.960 you know

01:00:05.900 illness

01:00:06.920 is it because

01:00:07.520 the business part

01:00:08.220 and the medication

01:00:08.760 is a big part

01:00:09.300 business part

01:00:09.780 so in the mid

01:00:10.480 so in the 50s

01:00:12.140 Thorazine was the first

01:00:13.260 psychotropic

01:00:14.440 to be developed

01:00:15.220 what was that

01:00:15.820 Thorazine

01:00:16.400 other name is

01:00:17.880 chlorpramazine

01:00:18.600 so that is an

01:00:19.580 antipsychotic

01:00:20.200 it's called an antipsychotic

01:00:21.360 misnamed an antipsychotic

01:00:22.780 it's an anesthetic

01:00:24.420 so what it did

01:00:25.420 was it calmed people down

01:00:26.500 so what we had

01:00:27.340 in the 50s

01:00:28.140 more or less

01:00:28.660 this first drug

01:00:29.780 came out

01:00:30.200 it was used

01:00:31.000 people with mind issues

01:00:32.360 have always been badly

01:00:33.100 handled

01:00:33.380 there's a historic

01:00:34.280 we've just done

01:00:35.500 bad job

01:00:36.020 there's been pockets

01:00:37.080 of good things

01:00:37.720 that have been done

01:00:38.240 in between

01:00:38.620 but in general

01:00:39.160 people's mind issues

01:00:40.000 have not been handled well

01:00:41.200 but in the 50s

01:00:43.940 this drug was developed

01:00:45.000 and they took

01:00:46.340 they gave

01:00:46.760 they actually gave it

01:00:47.400 by mistake

01:00:47.900 to some patients

01:00:49.460 in a mental asylum

01:00:50.320 and they seemed

01:00:51.120 to calm down

01:00:51.720 and they became

01:00:52.200 more manageable

01:00:52.720 and so gave birth

01:00:54.060 to the psychiatric

01:00:55.380 drug industry

01:00:56.260 and by the mid 80s

01:00:57.960 we had Prozac

01:00:58.800 then we had

01:00:59.820 the second generation

01:01:00.540 drug

01:01:00.860 but before we know it

01:01:01.720 we had antipsychotics

01:01:02.720 antidepressants

01:01:03.660 anti-anxiety meds

01:01:05.100 the famous Librium

01:01:06.860 and Xanax

01:01:07.700 and these things

01:01:08.600 that are now

01:01:09.140 household names

01:01:10.120 and every second person

01:01:11.280 is on some sort of drug

01:01:12.440 so what we have

01:01:13.500 is an industry

01:01:14.480 that was given birth

01:01:15.360 to called the

01:01:16.060 psychotropic drug industry

01:01:18.220 and it was basically

01:01:20.540 very financially driven

01:01:22.100 and I mean

01:01:22.580 everything I say

01:01:23.620 I can back up scientifically

01:01:24.620 and there's

01:01:25.380 hundreds of scientists

01:01:26.180 thousands actually

01:01:26.920 and you'll find references

01:01:28.520 in all my work

01:01:29.200 so essentially

01:01:29.920 what we have

01:01:30.560 is an industry

01:01:31.920 that says

01:01:32.640 okay

01:01:33.380 if you're feeling

01:01:34.460 sad, depressed

01:01:35.380 up and down

01:01:36.320 psychotic breaks

01:01:37.340 can't cope

01:01:38.020 etc

01:01:38.360 you are ill

01:01:39.660 so therefore

01:01:41.220 you need a drug

01:01:42.920 because if you're ill

01:01:44.020 like you have

01:01:44.740 cardiovascular

01:01:45.120 you need a drug

01:01:46.340 so they had a theory

01:01:48.360 a guy a few years ago

01:01:50.200 just after

01:01:50.820 clopramazine

01:01:51.420 or whatever

01:01:51.720 he said

01:01:52.080 well maybe

01:01:52.700 it's a chemical

01:01:53.380 imbalance in the brain

01:01:54.900 and so the hunt

01:01:56.000 began to see

01:01:57.080 ah it's in the brain

01:01:58.380 and it became

01:01:59.500 a whole thing

01:02:00.640 where you've got

01:02:02.160 to find a neurobiological

01:02:03.740 correlate

01:02:04.300 for the disease

01:02:06.020 so they then

01:02:07.060 shifted everything

01:02:08.180 from you as a human

01:02:09.880 in life

01:02:10.480 going through the scenarios

01:02:11.600 that we spoke about

01:02:12.300 in the beginning

01:02:12.800 going through

01:02:13.220 whatever scenario

01:02:13.800 going to war

01:02:14.440 going to whatever

01:02:15.120 everything life

01:02:16.220 the human condition

01:02:17.240 people in life

01:02:18.200 that was taken

01:02:19.700 out of the equation

01:02:20.560 you

01:02:21.360 your eye factor

01:02:22.380 your experience

01:02:23.200 your narrative

01:02:23.760 your story

01:02:24.300 your context

01:02:24.840 your life

01:02:25.160 taken away

01:02:26.040 and you were seen

01:02:27.380 and if you were sad

01:02:28.120 or depressed

01:02:28.780 for longer than two weeks

01:02:29.880 because you've just

01:02:30.340 lost someone

01:02:30.760 or whatever

01:02:31.000 your story

01:02:32.640 that didn't count

01:02:33.400 what counts

01:02:34.000 is that you're feeling sad

01:02:35.320 according to the

01:02:36.040 diagnostic and statistical manual

01:02:37.580 which is not at all

01:02:38.800 statistic or scientific

01:02:39.820 I know the people

01:02:40.920 involved in the development

01:02:42.120 I know a lot about the DSM

01:02:43.540 and it's not a scientific manual

01:02:45.440 it's good for firewood

01:02:46.420 and that's about it

01:02:47.240 you really mean that

01:02:48.300 you really believe that

01:02:48.680 I totally mean it

01:02:49.420 not even believe it

01:02:50.260 good for firewood

01:02:51.220 it's good for firewood

01:02:51.920 doorstop firewood

01:02:52.760 but definitely not to label

01:02:54.000 and limit people

01:02:54.760 because what we're doing there

01:02:56.520 is we're taking

01:02:57.220 the concept of

01:02:58.560 if you have fatty liver disease

01:02:59.740 we've got a diagnostic category

01:03:01.040 we can fix it

01:03:01.900 we can

01:03:02.180 they've tried to do that

01:03:03.320 with mind

01:03:03.780 now let me ask you this

01:03:04.800 if you have just lost your wife

01:03:07.460 I'll give you a classic example

01:03:09.140 I was in teaching

01:03:10.320 in the St. Thomas Islands

01:03:11.200 just recently

01:03:11.840 I do a lot of mental health conferences

01:03:13.700 all over the world

01:03:14.560 and this woman came up to me

01:03:16.860 after me teaching on mind

01:03:18.080 and brain

01:03:18.400 all the stuff that I teach on

01:03:19.400 and she had just lost her husband

01:03:21.560 in the previous hurricane

01:03:22.820 in 2017

01:03:23.640 her husband's head was severed

01:03:25.900 literally in front of her

01:03:26.880 from the hurricane

01:03:27.680 breaking

01:03:28.120 hitting whatever

01:03:29.640 through whatever building

01:03:30.700 I don't know the exact details

01:03:31.980 all I know is that she was there

01:03:33.260 and she lost her husband

01:03:34.480 she's a young young mom

01:03:35.460 you can imagine the trauma

01:03:37.240 you never get over that

01:03:38.300 number one

01:03:38.800 that trauma

01:03:39.280 you never get over

01:03:40.000 and let me say that

01:03:40.600 you don't get over trauma

01:03:41.820 you don't get over grief

01:03:43.460 you get through it

01:03:44.800 so you don't get over it

01:03:46.100 you don't get through it

01:03:46.580 you learn how to move forward

01:03:47.980 through it

01:03:48.660 and we shouldn't take that away

01:03:50.300 because that is her story

01:03:51.500 this woman came up to me

01:03:52.920 after the session

01:03:53.760 and she said

01:03:54.840 Dr. Veef I want to tell you

01:03:55.640 and she was smiling

01:03:56.340 I'm thinking this is some great story

01:03:57.520 she's going to

01:03:57.920 and she proceeded to tell me the story

01:03:59.540 instead she was sent to a doctor

01:04:02.000 after this

01:04:02.660 because she was obviously

01:04:03.460 I mean I wouldn't

01:04:04.480 how do you cope

01:04:05.200 with something like that

01:04:06.140 the doctor said

01:04:07.180 you've got bipolar

01:04:07.960 you've got a clinically

01:04:09.440 you're clinically

01:04:10.320 not bipolar

01:04:11.140 you're clinically depressed

01:04:12.140 you need an antidepressant

01:04:13.300 she said

01:04:13.640 I am not clinically depressed

01:04:15.020 I do not have an illness

01:04:16.060 I have just lost my husband

01:04:17.920 her pastor of her church

01:04:19.960 whatever gave her

01:04:20.860 one of my books

01:04:21.460 which was I mean

01:04:22.300 this is the story she told me

01:04:23.440 and she said she decided

01:04:24.620 to start doing that five steps

01:04:25.920 that I've just done

01:04:26.520 and she processed

01:04:27.700 and went through

01:04:28.380 and experienced her grief

01:04:29.700 she cried

01:04:30.860 she screamed

01:04:31.460 she shouted

01:04:31.940 she saw

01:04:32.400 you have to freak out

01:04:34.120 in that zone

01:04:34.920 you have to get

01:04:35.540 once you acknowledge

01:04:36.460 I'm in grief

01:04:37.240 this is my story

01:04:38.480 I'm not going to

01:04:39.520 this is not an illness

01:04:40.660 that's an insult

01:04:41.900 to tell someone

01:04:42.940 who has been through war

01:04:44.200 or grief

01:04:44.840 or a child who's bullied

01:04:46.220 or a child who's battling

01:04:47.360 to learn

01:04:47.860 who needs to just be helped

01:04:48.920 to learn

01:04:49.480 or maybe who's not given

01:04:50.600 a decent diet

01:04:51.340 or who's been bullied

01:04:52.000 at school

01:04:52.440 and who's having

01:04:53.180 an emotional reaction

01:04:54.060 is it fair to tell that person

01:04:55.880 here's a label

01:04:56.900 you have ADHD

01:04:57.920 ADHD is not even

01:04:58.980 a scientific category

01:04:59.880 I've worked in learning disabilities

01:05:01.400 for 25 years in my practice

01:05:03.260 and done research in this area

01:05:04.560 2 to 17% of people

01:05:07.460 have a learning disability

01:05:08.720 from a birth trauma

01:05:09.700 or something going on

01:05:10.740 in the womb

01:05:11.260 or some kind of head injury

01:05:12.460 we have a 70 to 77%

01:05:15.160 plus going up

01:05:16.460 referral rate

01:05:17.400 for people with ADD

01:05:18.320 every second person

01:05:19.300 has got ADHD

01:05:19.920 including adults

01:05:21.040 it's not even a real thing

01:05:22.260 what we have

01:05:23.400 is a society

01:05:24.280 that's very busy

01:05:25.480 we're designed

01:05:26.420 to do busy well

01:05:27.340 but people aren't managing

01:05:28.560 technology

01:05:29.220 we're not managing our mind

01:05:30.280 we have been told

01:05:31.480 as a society

01:05:32.180 which is where we started

01:05:33.000 this discussion

01:05:33.680 literally at the beginning

01:05:34.880 we've been told

01:05:35.980 as a society

01:05:36.820 that you are your brain

01:05:39.200 your brain

01:05:40.280 is controlling you

01:05:41.500 so therefore

01:05:42.220 bipolar is in your brain

01:05:43.800 and you are now ill

01:05:44.960 you don't believe that

01:05:45.600 not at all

01:05:46.180 bipolar is going to move

01:05:47.520 through your brain

01:05:48.160 so now this woman

01:05:48.860 has grief

01:05:49.400 she's seen her husband's head

01:05:51.140 sliced off

01:05:52.080 she's in terrible trauma

01:05:53.660 from that

01:05:54.200 and from the fact

01:05:54.980 that she's lost her husband

01:05:55.800 that experience

01:05:57.020 went through her brain

01:05:57.880 so obviously

01:05:58.620 there's a toxic thought

01:05:59.580 in her brain

01:06:00.080 that's a toxic experience

01:06:01.540 that is a trauma

01:06:02.260 it's an involuntary trauma

01:06:03.340 because as a human

01:06:04.280 everything you process

01:06:05.920 goes in your brain

01:06:07.180 it becomes a structure

01:06:08.520 you change your brain

01:06:09.360 you are always growing

01:06:10.280 your brain

01:06:10.620 that's neuroplasticity

01:06:11.760 your brain structure

01:06:12.940 is changing

01:06:13.340 every moment of every day

01:06:14.460 so of course

01:06:15.340 she had that

01:06:15.920 of course her heart

01:06:17.160 was affected

01:06:17.940 she nearly died

01:06:18.800 from cardiovascular issues

01:06:21.520 because of the fact

01:06:22.660 that your heart

01:06:23.260 is impacted

01:06:23.900 so in other words

01:06:24.820 your brain and body

01:06:25.460 of course they're going to respond

01:06:26.700 of course you're going to have physical

01:06:28.280 of course you need a medical doctor

01:06:30.000 to help monitor

01:06:31.100 I had a lady the other day

01:06:32.480 at a conference I did

01:06:33.400 she's wearing a heart monitor

01:06:34.620 she just lost her husband

01:06:35.600 she's not coping

01:06:36.540 she's really battling

01:06:37.800 she's had a couple of

01:06:39.540 almost heart attacks

01:06:40.920 so now she walks around

01:06:41.900 so yes your brain and body

01:06:43.680 will respond

01:06:44.280 so we will see the effects

01:06:45.700 of trauma

01:06:46.860 in your brain

01:06:47.460 and some people

01:06:48.580 will be in mood swings

01:06:50.120 some people

01:06:50.980 it will be complete withdrawal

01:06:52.260 but depression

01:06:53.520 bipolar anxiety

01:06:54.740 these are so real

01:06:56.100 they're the 99%

01:06:57.460 we need to give them

01:06:58.300 more attention

01:06:59.080 so are you saying

01:07:00.240 if I don't have

01:07:01.280 if John doesn't

01:07:03.060 have any symptoms

01:07:04.740 of bipolar

01:07:06.160 a traumatic

01:07:07.720 a traumatic experience

01:07:09.060 to him

01:07:09.760 could give him

01:07:10.620 symptoms

01:07:11.080 of what a doctor

01:07:12.060 could consider him

01:07:12.960 not having bipolar

01:07:13.780 him not being bipolar

01:07:14.880 well basically

01:07:15.720 there's certain questions

01:07:16.900 that are asked

01:07:17.660 you know what I'm asking

01:07:18.920 so

01:07:19.260 I've never been diagnosed

01:07:21.160 I've been a regular kid

01:07:22.260 I'm good

01:07:22.920 I fall in love

01:07:24.320 with a girl

01:07:24.840 we marry each other

01:07:26.100 one day we're walking

01:07:27.280 she slips

01:07:29.660 somebody comes up

01:07:31.700 they shoot her

01:07:32.440 right in front of me

01:07:33.360 dies

01:07:33.980 they miss me

01:07:35.540 I watch her die

01:07:36.440 right in front of me

01:07:37.080 I can't do anything

01:07:37.780 about it for the rest

01:07:38.540 of my life

01:07:38.880 I feel guilty

01:07:39.580 can I go from

01:07:40.680 being normal

01:07:41.300 prior to that

01:07:41.960 to afterwards

01:07:42.560 now I've got

01:07:43.020 some kind of symptoms

01:07:43.760 where a psychologist

01:07:44.500 could say

01:07:44.920 I think you've got

01:07:45.520 certain issues here

01:07:46.260 okay so

01:07:46.880 what we need to do

01:07:48.440 is acknowledge

01:07:48.920 what that person's

01:07:49.680 gone through

01:07:49.960 that person has a story

01:07:51.000 that what you've just

01:07:51.800 described is a person's story

01:07:53.040 that's the 99%

01:07:54.200 of what they've experienced

01:07:55.480 we need to validate

01:07:56.500 that by hearing them

01:07:57.440 by listening to them

01:07:58.140 we invalidate that

01:07:59.900 by saying

01:08:00.680 you have an illness

01:08:01.660 of clinical depression

01:08:02.700 we invalidate that

01:08:04.120 by saying that

01:08:04.900 okay

01:08:05.280 you see what I'm saying

01:08:06.460 I agree

01:08:08.080 throwing the 99% away

01:08:09.600 you said it's only the 1%

01:08:11.120 I'm not going to validate

01:08:12.160 your experience

01:08:12.840 unless I can tell you

01:08:13.640 you have a brain illness

01:08:14.460 you do not have

01:08:15.260 a neuropsychiatric brain disease

01:08:16.520 you have a terrible trauma

01:08:18.340 and we need to listen to you

01:08:20.040 we need to help you

01:08:21.100 you need community

01:08:22.040 you need to cry

01:08:23.020 scream

01:08:23.420 let me ask you

01:08:23.600 let me be the devil's advocate

01:08:25.020 in this

01:08:25.340 how much of that can also be used

01:08:26.480 by somebody to use that

01:08:27.480 as a crutch to say

01:08:28.480 this is why I'm not

01:08:30.220 doing that well in life

01:08:31.340 because

01:08:31.680 you know this is why I'm also

01:08:33.520 come on

01:08:34.320 people do that

01:08:34.940 that's what I'm saying

01:08:35.840 people do that

01:08:36.260 they get stuck

01:08:36.920 you have to reconceptualize

01:08:38.420 so when I talk about

01:08:39.680 the five steps

01:08:40.320 and I talk about

01:08:40.900 acknowledging

01:08:41.480 you know that

01:08:42.320 gather

01:08:42.780 think

01:08:43.840 write

01:08:44.340 recheck

01:08:45.300 and active reach

01:08:46.600 what you're doing there

01:08:47.680 is you're reconceptualizing

01:08:49.180 so you're changing

01:08:49.940 so here you've gone

01:08:50.760 through the trauma

01:08:51.260 this woman

01:08:51.860 who went through

01:08:52.660 seeing her husband's head

01:08:53.780 she now does grief counseling

01:08:55.460 for people that are going

01:08:56.380 through grief

01:08:56.920 so she still has days

01:08:58.160 where she cries

01:08:58.760 and breaks down

01:08:59.320 she's a human

01:08:59.880 it's the human condition

01:09:00.840 it's a response

01:09:02.000 to the suffering of life

01:09:03.220 we can't medicalize misery

01:09:05.160 Patrick

01:09:05.760 we can't pathologize pain

01:09:07.580 emotional pain

01:09:09.180 trauma

01:09:09.660 these are stories

01:09:10.880 that are part of your suffering

01:09:12.000 they're kind of your

01:09:12.680 the Japanese have a beautiful principle

01:09:16.520 called kintsugi

01:09:17.240 have you ever heard of it

01:09:18.120 okay it's brilliant

01:09:19.040 if a vase drops

01:09:20.400 or a beautiful porcelain pot

01:09:21.780 and it shatters all over the ground

01:09:23.420 most people just sweep it away

01:09:25.040 and throw it away

01:09:25.680 what we see

01:09:27.080 what they do

01:09:27.700 is they actually rebuild

01:09:29.160 they

01:09:29.500 how long it takes

01:09:30.840 they rebuild the whole pot

01:09:31.960 and they use a lacquer

01:09:33.000 filled with gold

01:09:33.660 and platinum

01:09:34.460 so they rebuild something beautiful

01:09:36.420 with the gold

01:09:38.300 showing the damage

01:09:39.920 so in other words

01:09:40.840 that's what we come

01:09:41.380 we reconceptualize

01:09:42.520 so now this woman

01:09:43.360 with the grief

01:09:43.900 she has a pot

01:09:45.440 she's a pot of gold

01:09:46.180 she's rebuilt her life

01:09:47.620 but the pain is still there

01:09:48.980 we don't want to not acknowledge

01:09:50.020 she remembers the pain

01:09:51.340 but she's now managing the pain

01:09:53.900 by moving forward

01:09:55.140 by helping others

01:09:56.080 by not just me

01:09:57.280 myself and I

01:09:58.020 she's got to have periods

01:09:59.300 of me myself and I

01:10:00.300 but you've got to have

01:10:01.160 balance that with periods

01:10:02.140 of going out of yourself

01:10:03.240 so you have to reconceptualize

01:10:04.760 which means redesign

01:10:05.720 see it

01:10:06.880 have your

01:10:07.860 it's okay to grieve

01:10:09.180 you should grieve

01:10:09.940 do you know what the DSM says

01:10:12.080 if you

01:10:12.480 that woman

01:10:13.340 after two weeks

01:10:14.160 if she didn't

01:10:14.760 if she was still grieving

01:10:15.880 she now has an illness

01:10:17.080 you tell me

01:10:17.980 you're going to grieve

01:10:18.480 the rest of your life

01:10:19.220 if that happened to your wife

01:10:20.240 you're never going to get through grief

01:10:21.860 the worst thing you can say

01:10:22.720 to someone

01:10:23.180 who is grieving

01:10:24.400 is time will heal

01:10:25.860 time does not heal

01:10:26.640 you'll get over it

01:10:27.660 you will not get over it

01:10:28.420 you don't believe that

01:10:29.040 no

01:10:29.320 you will learn to live with it

01:10:30.400 that's very different

01:10:31.080 what's the toughest thing

01:10:31.520 you've ever experienced

01:10:32.320 you

01:10:32.760 attempted suicidal family

01:10:34.760 by a very close family member

01:10:36.180 which is

01:10:36.900 and it was unsuccessful

01:10:37.840 but it was

01:10:38.820 how many years ago was that

01:10:39.980 horrific

01:10:40.180 four years ago

01:10:41.020 four years ago

01:10:41.800 I've had

01:10:42.420 my eldest daughter

01:10:43.260 nearly died of bulimia

01:10:44.500 I mean I'm in the field

01:10:45.440 what did that do to you

01:10:46.100 when you had it

01:10:46.640 you die

01:10:47.040 in the moment

01:10:47.980 you literally

01:10:48.640 as a parent

01:10:49.640 you completely

01:10:50.520 like how do you cope

01:10:51.460 with something like that

01:10:52.260 you

01:10:52.460 it's devastating

01:10:53.780 but you have a choice

01:10:54.800 because I have to stay

01:10:55.980 strong and wise

01:10:57.260 for my kids

01:10:57.700 so I freaked out

01:10:58.600 I cried

01:10:59.180 I saw

01:10:59.940 I did whatever

01:11:00.540 but I had a sense of peace in me

01:11:02.160 that I will be strong

01:11:03.180 and I will be there

01:11:03.860 and I will help my child

01:11:05.240 through

01:11:05.980 so I didn't suppress it

01:11:07.920 I didn't go into a state

01:11:09.960 where I couldn't cope anymore

01:11:11.700 and got died

01:11:12.340 because those medications

01:11:13.720 antidepressants etc

01:11:14.980 those don't heal anything

01:11:16.660 they damage the brain

01:11:18.040 so people experience

01:11:20.000 a period of help

01:11:21.580 because they numb the brain

01:11:23.340 so if I'm in a place

01:11:24.600 where you've got that grief

01:11:26.700 for your husband

01:11:27.400 or whatever

01:11:27.840 your child

01:11:28.480 nearly dying of bulimia

01:11:29.420 whatever

01:11:29.660 door trauma

01:11:31.740 you're in a bad place

01:11:33.500 and what they do

01:11:35.160 those drugs will numb the pain

01:11:36.840 because sometimes

01:11:37.340 the pain is too much

01:11:38.100 but you know what

01:11:38.860 we have to be brave

01:11:39.680 we have to allow ourselves

01:11:41.060 and give ourselves permission

01:11:42.440 to go through the pain

01:11:43.760 and we can't do it alone

01:11:44.960 Patrick this is the other thing

01:11:46.060 what we see from science

01:11:47.620 is that

01:11:47.980 as a family

01:11:49.080 we pulled together

01:11:49.900 when my daughter

01:11:50.880 went through

01:11:51.420 that terrible time

01:11:53.020 when that woman

01:11:54.940 went through the grief

01:11:55.820 with her husband

01:11:56.260 she had a community

01:11:57.400 as soon as I reach out

01:11:58.960 to you

01:11:59.200 and listen to you

01:11:59.960 that I agree

01:12:00.500 your brain changes

01:12:01.460 you know that

01:12:01.920 you switch on

01:12:02.900 you actually switch on

01:12:04.160 a genetic switch

01:12:05.160 in your brain

01:12:05.620 that increases

01:12:06.180 your resilience

01:12:06.940 when you're in community

01:12:08.440 you also change

01:12:09.900 how your neurotransmitters flow

01:12:11.180 your entire body

01:12:13.100 works for you

01:12:13.980 instead of against you

01:12:14.940 the blood will dilate

01:12:17.060 you'll have more blood

01:12:18.020 in your brain

01:12:18.500 and oxygen in your brain

01:12:19.740 1400 neurophysiological

01:12:21.620 responses will work for you

01:12:22.820 in that state

01:12:23.860 even in the midst

01:12:24.780 of your screaming

01:12:25.460 shouting

01:12:25.920 crying

01:12:26.380 swearing

01:12:26.820 going crazy

01:12:27.540 expressing

01:12:28.540 going from highs

01:12:29.660 to lows

01:12:30.300 which is all normal

01:12:31.260 you have got

01:12:32.940 this inner strength

01:12:33.880 that's happening

01:12:34.740 when you realise

01:12:35.680 that okay

01:12:36.200 I give myself permission

01:12:37.240 to go through this

01:12:38.060 and I'm going to do it

01:12:39.140 I'm not going to be alone

01:12:39.840 no one can fix you

01:12:41.020 no one can take your pain away

01:12:42.060 but I can hold your hand

01:12:43.180 and that's what we need to do

01:12:44.660 it's like Lord of the Rings

01:12:45.500 Frodo

01:12:46.260 Sam said to Frodo

01:12:47.920 I can't carry the ring

01:12:49.620 into Mount Doom

01:12:50.380 but I can carry you

01:12:51.460 and this is how we have to

01:12:53.320 manage mental health

01:12:54.260 we have to allow people

01:12:55.260 to embrace and process

01:12:56.300 and we have to do it

01:12:57.440 in community

01:12:58.020 not medicate

01:12:59.640 not drug

01:13:00.440 not medicating

01:13:02.060 do you have

01:13:02.460 for 25 years you practice

01:13:03.840 do you have the ability

01:13:05.840 to prescribe me any medication

01:13:07.200 no I don't prescribe

01:13:08.240 I'm not a prescribing physician

01:13:09.560 you're not

01:13:10.200 no

01:13:10.480 do you have the ability

01:13:11.380 to tell me

01:13:11.880 go see Dr. Jones

01:13:12.800 she can prescribe you Zoloft

01:13:14.420 she can prescribe you Redland

01:13:15.500 she can prescribe you Abilify

01:13:16.240 except I would never tell them

01:13:17.140 I would never kill you like that

01:13:18.300 so you never in your life

01:13:19.800 never recommend it

01:13:21.400 ever

01:13:21.720 no I actually put people

01:13:22.860 on withdrawal programs

01:13:23.800 to get off the drugs

01:13:24.680 those drugs increase

01:13:25.840 your chance of dementia

01:13:26.740 they have no positive effects

01:13:29.260 except numbing effects

01:13:30.400 so the only time

01:13:31.720 that I would indicate

01:13:32.320 let's say someone is now

01:13:33.260 in that midst of that trauma

01:13:34.320 and they are freaking out

01:13:36.440 maybe someone's like

01:13:37.200 threatening to do

01:13:38.500 something dangerous

01:13:39.200 maybe 24 hour sedation

01:13:41.660 but then you've got to

01:13:43.080 but not longer than that

01:13:44.300 because these drugs

01:13:44.980 are addictive

01:13:45.400 they're drugs

01:13:46.020 they're not medicine

01:13:47.320 they're not healing your body

01:13:48.700 they're damaging your body

01:13:50.100 they're not medicine

01:13:51.740 powerful statement

01:13:52.380 it's very very different

01:13:53.760 that's a powerful statement

01:13:54.720 they set you up

01:13:55.440 for the dementias

01:13:56.120 they have 3000 plus side effects

01:13:57.620 and all the clinical trials

01:13:59.280 have actually been

01:13:59.960 have shown

01:14:00.720 that they're not effective

01:14:01.480 they cherry pick

01:14:02.300 they take out

01:14:03.040 and they say

01:14:03.500 they worked over placebo

01:14:04.540 they did not

01:14:05.320 it's not the accurate truth

01:14:07.560 the public hasn't been

01:14:08.400 presented with the truth

01:14:09.360 obviously I know

01:14:10.220 a lot of these

01:14:10.660 because in my world

01:14:11.860 I have a lot of peers

01:14:13.580 we talk openly

01:14:14.600 whether it's lorizepam

01:14:16.480 you know Adderall

01:14:17.520 you know Adderall

01:14:18.120 is a very big thing nowadays

01:14:19.260 people are getting hooked

01:14:20.680 on Adderall

01:14:21.380 very early on

01:14:22.840 from high school

01:14:23.420 this guy can't pay attention

01:14:24.480 to school here

01:14:25.020 take some Adderall

01:14:25.600 polypharmacy

01:14:26.240 it just drives me nuts

01:14:27.780 how early they started

01:14:29.080 how early they

01:14:29.760 Xanax

01:14:30.600 in the womb

01:14:31.600 say that again

01:14:32.320 they are doing

01:14:32.920 they are medicating

01:14:34.820 babies in the womb

01:14:35.760 they are saying that

01:14:36.420 from a brain scan

01:14:37.280 that this baby

01:14:38.160 is potentially

01:14:38.580 going to get

01:14:38.980 you've got to be kidding me

01:14:39.420 that's how the public

01:14:40.600 have been lied to

01:14:41.360 it's financially driven

01:14:42.580 the kids as young as 2

01:14:43.900 who's doing that

01:14:45.080 doctors are doing this

01:14:46.140 around the globe

01:14:46.940 it's the worst

01:14:47.860 in the United States

01:14:48.700 of America

01:14:49.200 you know you can't

01:14:50.120 also the other thing

01:14:50.860 is you can't just

01:14:51.460 like these guys

01:14:52.040 you're talking about

01:14:52.560 you can't just

01:14:53.080 stop these drugs

01:14:53.740 because as every drug

01:14:55.100 you put in your mouth

01:14:55.740 your brain changes

01:14:56.900 you grow things

01:14:57.740 in your brain

01:14:58.360 when you take

01:14:59.160 an antidepressant

01:15:00.000 an antipsychotic

01:15:00.820 you know that's crazy

01:15:01.220 you actually grow

01:15:02.680 structures in your brain

01:15:03.820 that damage your brain

01:15:04.840 the guy behind me

01:15:05.680 the one that your

01:15:06.240 husband was talking

01:15:07.620 about how

01:15:08.200 the Shah

01:15:09.900 at one time

01:15:10.500 was interviewed

01:15:10.920 on BBC

01:15:11.460 he says

01:15:12.520 the difference

01:15:12.940 between us

01:15:13.420 and the West

01:15:13.900 is the West

01:15:14.500 is

01:15:14.860 you know

01:15:15.820 wasting life

01:15:17.400 by taking

01:15:17.900 way too many

01:15:18.500 sleeping pills

01:15:19.220 and he said

01:15:20.120 this in 76

01:15:21.160 he talked about it

01:15:22.720 exactly

01:15:23.100 so it's like

01:15:23.700 you know

01:15:24.020 you're putting

01:15:25.180 yourself through

01:15:25.780 your problem

01:15:26.300 by just medicating

01:15:27.160 yourself

01:15:27.440 not even thinking

01:15:27.960 about the problem

01:15:28.440 numbing the brain

01:15:29.360 numbing your brain

01:15:30.160 to not even

01:15:30.620 go through the problem

01:15:31.160 so let me go

01:15:31.900 through something else

01:15:32.440 can I show you

01:15:33.260 an analogy

01:15:33.660 just for what you said

01:15:34.380 okay so this is

01:15:35.340 a festering wound

01:15:36.040 when you think

01:15:36.700 and feel and choose

01:15:37.600 you cause genetic

01:15:38.440 expression

01:15:38.920 you grow stuff

01:15:39.600 in your brain

01:15:40.020 that's what we're

01:15:40.440 doing now

01:15:40.780 we've been talking

01:15:41.260 about this

01:15:41.680 if you have a toxic

01:15:42.440 issue

01:15:42.720 and you haven't

01:15:43.040 dealt with it

01:15:43.500 you have this thing

01:15:44.500 the proteins

01:15:45.040 are all folded

01:15:45.640 weirdly

01:15:46.040 the electrical

01:15:47.160 chemical balance

01:15:47.920 is wrong

01:15:48.220 it's all dangerous

01:15:48.960 here's a slide

01:15:49.880 to show you

01:15:51.040 what it looks like

01:15:51.900 there

01:15:52.160 it's actually

01:15:53.400 it's not a hole

01:15:53.980 it's actually

01:15:54.460 toxicity

01:15:54.900 this is like a virus

01:15:55.920 so if I don't

01:15:57.140 deal with this

01:15:57.520 if I just medicate

01:15:58.540 that medication

01:15:59.540 grows extra things

01:16:00.660 around this area

01:16:01.780 that make it worse

01:16:03.040 so when the

01:16:04.860 numbing effect

01:16:05.920 wears off

01:16:06.400 I've got this

01:16:07.120 and I've got now

01:16:08.280 extra things here

01:16:09.240 that make my brain

01:16:10.100 and that's aggression

01:16:10.800 it'll manifest in

01:16:12.660 feelings of

01:16:13.160 worse depression

01:16:14.020 aggression etc

01:16:14.800 then if you just

01:16:16.240 put the medication

01:16:16.880 back on

01:16:17.380 or say positive

01:16:18.020 affirmation

01:16:18.680 and happiness

01:16:19.300 industry

01:16:19.820 you're just

01:16:20.540 slapping a band-aid

01:16:21.480 on

01:16:21.700 the wound

01:16:22.200 is still festering

01:16:22.880 eventually

01:16:23.260 it'll burn

01:16:23.920 all the way through

01:16:24.600 we have to get it out

01:16:25.740 and research shows

01:16:26.720 as soon as we get it out

01:16:27.780 in the conscious

01:16:28.320 as soon as you gather

01:16:29.120 it weakens

01:16:29.940 see how this is shaking

01:16:30.740 you actually weaken it

01:16:32.260 you weaken the bonds

01:16:33.360 which means you can

01:16:34.100 redesign it

01:16:34.840 very powerful

01:16:35.600 yep

01:16:35.900 I agree

01:16:36.680 brilliant concept

01:16:39.320 next question

01:16:40.080 people have faced

01:16:41.320 different challenges

01:16:42.020 in their lives

01:16:43.040 okay

01:16:43.520 you just talked

01:16:44.700 about suicide

01:16:45.340 I've experienced

01:16:46.140 exact similar situation

01:16:47.260 to where I had to

01:16:47.960 call the cops

01:16:48.620 they came

01:16:49.220 they took the person

01:16:50.160 went to the hospital

01:16:51.320 because there was

01:16:51.940 too many calls

01:16:52.480 of suicide

01:16:52.980 at one point

01:16:53.640 this person took

01:16:54.280 17 sleeping pills

01:16:55.440 at the same time

01:16:56.240 and said hey

01:16:57.420 I love you

01:16:58.040 I said this is

01:16:58.740 too many calls

01:16:59.300 I just called

01:16:59.920 boom

01:17:00.240 go pick them up

01:17:01.020 went straight to the hospital

01:17:01.960 I went and visited

01:17:02.560 the person

01:17:03.060 very close family

01:17:04.500 messes with your head

01:17:05.460 because you're always

01:17:06.040 worried about this person

01:17:06.800 killing themselves

01:17:07.660 and you don't have

01:17:08.860 any control over it

01:17:09.760 right

01:17:09.960 so we got loss

01:17:11.460 of a loved one

01:17:12.020 we're pretty much

01:17:12.860 all going to experience

01:17:13.540 this the longer

01:17:14.060 we live

01:17:14.300 we're going to experience

01:17:14.760 the tough part

01:17:15.420 is a different loss

01:17:16.280 of a loved one

01:17:16.740 is burying your parents

01:17:17.720 versus burying their child

01:17:19.080 exactly

01:17:19.480 it's a different

01:17:19.900 kind of a pain

01:17:20.420 from your experience

01:17:21.760 if you don't mind

01:17:22.620 if I go through these

01:17:23.780 you give me 15-30 seconds

01:17:26.500 per because if we go longer

01:17:27.760 we'd be here for a long time

01:17:28.880 through this

01:17:29.300 you've sat with a lot

01:17:30.580 of people

01:17:31.020 what have the

01:17:32.340 immediate pain been

01:17:34.300 for people

01:17:34.800 that have experienced

01:17:35.500 this

01:17:35.720 if you don't know

01:17:36.460 if you haven't experienced

01:17:37.120 something like this

01:17:37.600 just say pass

01:17:38.200 you know

01:17:38.440 we'll go to the next person

01:17:39.320 or it's the same thing

01:17:39.980 what's loss of a loved one

01:17:41.620 been from a parent

01:17:44.000 burying their kids

01:17:45.180 total and as a trauma

01:17:47.440 they're going to go

01:17:47.940 into trauma

01:17:48.380 the parent

01:17:48.920 is that what you're looking for

01:17:49.880 yes

01:17:49.960 yeah

01:17:50.340 you're going to go into trauma

01:17:51.520 and that in itself

01:17:52.260 is not

01:17:52.680 it's trauma

01:17:53.460 it's real

01:17:54.440 and people have to learn

01:17:55.580 to move forward through it

01:17:57.580 so that's not ever

01:17:58.500 going to go away

01:17:59.140 and that's what we need

01:18:00.260 to give people

01:18:00.820 permission to keep that

01:18:02.960 because then grief

01:18:03.900 eventually becomes a point

01:18:05.180 where you can actually

01:18:06.200 take the trauma

01:18:07.460 and remember the good times

01:18:08.780 and that's been my experience

01:18:09.780 working with people

01:18:10.540 that have lost a child

01:18:12.360 to suicide

01:18:12.980 or early death

01:18:13.960 for whatever reason

01:18:14.860 is that there's initially

01:18:16.380 all the stages

01:18:17.260 you go through

01:18:17.720 anger, the denial, the hate

01:18:18.620 you have to allow the process

01:18:20.200 and you have to

01:18:20.980 very

01:18:21.980 we've got to get people

01:18:24.000 the sooner you actually

01:18:25.480 experience the pain

01:18:26.820 you learn to then

01:18:28.440 manage the pain

01:18:29.220 the sooner you mean what

01:18:30.280 the sooner you

01:18:31.160 cry, scream

01:18:32.620 sit down with the people

01:18:33.880 don't try and block that

01:18:35.160 we're in a day

01:18:35.960 in an age where it's

01:18:36.800 okay you're in pain

01:18:37.480 let me numb it

01:18:38.060 let's get you sleeping

01:18:38.800 tablets you can't sleep

01:18:39.660 it's better to stay awake

01:18:40.800 all night crying

01:18:41.620 and cry that

01:18:42.720 I'll talk it

01:18:43.260 I'll have people around you

01:18:44.580 holding you

01:18:45.260 just holding you

01:18:45.980 that physical contact

01:18:47.060 and then every day

01:18:48.820 it will get a little better

01:18:49.780 but if you don't

01:18:50.900 if you just shove that

01:18:51.660 away with drugs

01:18:52.380 the rest of your life

01:18:54.280 has

01:18:54.840 and then transform

01:18:56.120 I've got to say

01:18:56.680 one mistake

01:18:57.040 you've got to transform

01:18:58.060 at some point

01:18:58.860 like that woman

01:18:59.320 whose husband's head

01:19:00.460 got severed

01:19:01.120 she transformed that pain

01:19:02.900 into activity with people

01:19:04.960 deep meaningful connection

01:19:06.020 she counsels people

01:19:07.020 with grief now

01:19:07.720 Tia Kyle said the same

01:19:08.820 thing as well

01:19:09.260 when she lost her husband

01:19:10.060 from a shooting

01:19:10.660 you'll hear that consistently

01:19:12.040 so how about

01:19:12.940 from all of these

01:19:13.700 I think based on the answer

01:19:14.780 you gave

01:19:15.080 it may be the same answer

01:19:16.020 for all of them

01:19:16.560 divorce separation

01:19:17.380 similar answer

01:19:18.080 you would say

01:19:18.480 trauma strong

01:19:19.040 close call

01:19:20.140 anything about divorce

01:19:21.040 if I may say

01:19:21.620 because there's the connection

01:19:22.660 because there's the whole

01:19:23.660 connection between a husband

01:19:24.860 and wife

01:19:25.360 and the sexual connection

01:19:26.360 everything

01:19:26.660 there's a lot of

01:19:27.260 there's physical

01:19:28.460 two particles

01:19:29.660 in quantum physics

01:19:30.520 as soon as they put

01:19:31.320 in relationship

01:19:31.940 no matter how far apart

01:19:34.300 they're always in relationship

01:19:35.260 that's what quantum physics

01:19:36.480 is like

01:19:36.800 there's always a what?

01:19:37.480 there's always a relationship

01:19:38.680 even though you divorce

01:19:39.820 or you separate

01:19:40.460 yes

01:19:40.800 so what you've got here

01:19:41.640 is now you've got

01:19:42.260 the severing of a relationship

01:19:43.660 so now we've got

01:19:44.360 this weird thing

01:19:46.020 so it has to be healed

01:19:47.160 so that's why

01:19:47.740 it's so important

01:19:48.520 it's through communication

01:19:49.920 through talking

01:19:50.620 with each other?

01:19:51.900 if it's possible

01:19:52.840 if it's not possible

01:19:54.060 because the person

01:19:55.040 is hurting

01:19:55.800 there's abuse

01:19:56.700 or something like that

01:19:57.600 or if it's too traumatic

01:20:00.420 then counseling

01:20:01.700 with other people

01:20:02.360 that you get to a point

01:20:03.220 where you can forgive

01:20:03.940 forgiveness is vital

01:20:05.300 because it isolates

01:20:06.500 otherwise

01:20:06.840 this is the toxic divorce

01:20:08.400 there is

01:20:09.420 we can see a physical thing

01:20:10.900 there's a quantum energy connection

01:20:12.620 so there's an invisible connection

01:20:14.100 so if you don't forgive

01:20:15.440 even if you're the victim

01:20:16.860 you still stay connected

01:20:18.160 so by forgiveness

01:20:19.240 we sever that

01:20:20.280 we sever that connection

01:20:21.420 and that's vital in divorce

01:20:23.300 any kind of trauma

01:20:25.000 even if someone's raped you

01:20:26.440 you've got to get to the point

01:20:28.020 where you forgive

01:20:28.540 you're not forgiving

01:20:29.360 what they've done

01:20:30.100 what they did is unforgivable

01:20:31.660 but you're forgiving

01:20:33.040 from you

01:20:33.840 because now you can sever

01:20:35.260 and you can heal

01:20:35.940 all that will control you

01:20:36.880 the rest of your life

01:20:37.600 so you've got to

01:20:38.220 seal this thing off

01:20:39.120 and redesign it

01:20:39.940 does that make sense?

01:20:40.800 of course

01:20:41.140 close call

01:20:41.820 if I was

01:20:42.580 I almost died

01:20:43.480 it really messed with my head

01:20:44.760 if somebody had a close call

01:20:46.440 of dying

01:20:46.860 yeah

01:20:47.300 something happened

01:20:48.780 somebody almost killed me

01:20:50.360 gun was up to my head

01:20:51.940 we were bombed

01:20:52.840 and I almost died

01:20:53.800 I'm shocked

01:20:54.820 it stays with me

01:20:55.660 certain sirens

01:20:56.900 always with me

01:20:57.820 I see because it triggers things

01:20:59.040 PTSD

01:20:59.520 so you've got

01:21:00.160 so it's not an illness

01:21:02.040 it is a response

01:21:03.420 so bipolar PTSD

01:21:04.700 all these things

01:21:05.360 these are just umbrella terms

01:21:06.920 descriptions for the underlying thing

01:21:08.360 in this case

01:21:08.940 you would experience the reaction

01:21:10.520 you're experiencing

01:21:11.100 your whole body

01:21:11.800 it was embodied in your body

01:21:13.680 so your brain built the network

01:21:15.040 your body embodied it

01:21:16.580 and then there's the trigger

01:21:18.040 so what you have to do

01:21:18.820 is learn to manage the triggers

01:21:20.020 and that's a matter of

01:21:21.340 as you see them happening

01:21:22.380 write it down

01:21:23.120 put it in your phone

01:21:24.260 whatever

01:21:24.600 and then you can eventually learn

01:21:25.960 to manage those triggers

01:21:27.520 what will also happen

01:21:28.920 in those near-death experiences

01:21:30.300 is very often tremendous

01:21:31.560 insight into your spiritual nature

01:21:33.320 grab and run with that

01:21:34.780 because that will grow you

01:21:35.900 as a person

01:21:36.520 and you find that

01:21:38.240 with people that have gone

01:21:39.100 through those

01:21:39.720 sexual abuse

01:21:40.600 sexual abuse is

01:21:42.600 an invade

01:21:43.560 complete invasion

01:21:45.060 it starts with

01:21:45.980 acknowledgement

01:21:46.740 very often it's suppressed

01:21:48.180 because of the guilt

01:21:48.980 and the shame

01:21:49.480 that surrounded it

01:21:50.300 you know the me too movements

01:21:51.420 helped a lot

01:21:51.960 but for male and female

01:21:53.240 there's too much

01:21:54.660 shame has locked people in

01:21:55.980 if we have a society

01:21:57.380 that's more open

01:21:58.320 to allowing us

01:21:59.860 to express how we feel

01:22:01.120 we're in a society

01:22:01.840 that doesn't allow us

01:22:02.680 to express

01:22:03.280 we need to be able to express

01:22:04.640 when you talk

01:22:05.620 it's the same thing

01:22:06.200 you've got to get it out

01:22:07.200 you've got to process

01:22:08.000 and then you've got to forgive

01:22:09.520 so you've got to do

01:22:10.060 that forgiveness

01:22:10.620 it's that five step process

01:22:12.960 it's embrace

01:22:13.620 this person was a kid

01:22:15.840 hey I was only 6 years old

01:22:17.180 when it happened

01:22:17.560 I was 12 years old

01:22:18.220 what kind of control

01:22:18.800 do I have over it

01:22:19.540 nothing until later on

01:22:20.860 and very often

01:22:21.480 it only manifests

01:22:22.820 in a relationship

01:22:23.540 later on

01:22:24.100 you can find that

01:22:25.360 very often you'll find

01:22:26.660 in a relationship

01:22:27.400 or in a behavioral issue

01:22:28.460 maybe early on

01:22:29.260 so if it's picked up

01:22:29.940 early on

01:22:30.260 that there's a change

01:22:30.860 in behavior in a child

01:22:31.900 through play therapy

01:22:33.100 very often that can be

01:22:34.280 picked up

01:22:34.720 and then it's a matter

01:22:36.100 of helping children

01:22:36.800 to build a feeling

01:22:37.720 of safety

01:22:38.280 and then it's

01:22:39.180 as they're getting older

01:22:39.920 once they get into

01:22:40.680 a relationship

01:22:41.220 it's going to come back again

01:22:42.860 and then it's been

01:22:43.800 creating an environment

01:22:44.880 very open

01:22:45.700 like we've done

01:22:46.100 with our kids

01:22:46.600 in our home

01:22:47.080 is to talk about stuff

01:22:48.540 but it takes a lot of time

01:22:49.960 what you've got to do

01:22:50.660 is create an openness

01:22:52.420 in homes

01:22:54.460 amongst parents

01:22:55.280 and children

01:22:55.820 and in society

01:22:56.880 where all of us

01:22:58.540 are experiencing trauma

01:22:59.840 it's the human condition

01:23:01.180 you're not different

01:23:02.000 because you're depressed

01:23:02.900 you're not different

01:23:03.520 because you're sexually abused

01:23:04.500 everyone has got a story

01:23:06.100 and more people are abused

01:23:07.720 than should be

01:23:08.300 it's very high numbers

01:23:09.480 but society doesn't allow

01:23:10.800 us to talk about it

01:23:11.640 so it's an open

01:23:12.260 with a safe community

01:23:14.400 to be able to talk

01:23:15.140 about that

01:23:15.620 I can see that

01:23:16.440 so how about

01:23:16.880 loss of relevance

01:23:21.080 beauty

01:23:21.740 fame

01:23:22.420 you were popular

01:23:23.900 you were attractive

01:23:25.040 now you've lost it

01:23:26.820 you used to be

01:23:27.440 the one that everybody

01:23:28.140 gave you attention

01:23:28.940 you used to be

01:23:29.480 very popular

01:23:30.200 you've lost that

01:23:31.500 you went from being

01:23:32.280 the face

01:23:32.920 and now you're no longer

01:23:34.100 you got a lot of attention

01:23:35.340 how do you deal with that

01:23:36.180 okay so first of all

01:23:37.400 we have to go

01:23:38.100 and ask ourself

01:23:39.240 if it's totally

01:23:41.160 thrown you

01:23:41.720 then we've taken

01:23:42.360 that external

01:23:43.180 and we've taken

01:23:44.160 the external

01:23:44.800 and we've put it on us

01:23:45.840 and that's given us

01:23:46.640 our feeling of success

01:23:48.060 but our identity

01:23:50.440 is kind of lost

01:23:51.480 so true success

01:23:52.560 is not that

01:23:53.740 that wasn't really success

01:23:55.000 it actually wasn't even

01:23:55.740 successful at all

01:23:56.520 true success

01:23:57.580 if success changes you

01:23:59.580 your identity

01:24:01.620 wasn't strong

01:24:02.480 in the first place

01:24:03.320 true success is

01:24:04.460 if you've got nothing

01:24:05.240 and you still feel

01:24:05.900 a sense of peace

01:24:06.620 in the midst of the crisis

01:24:07.600 so it comes from

01:24:09.460 internal

01:24:09.820 it's a spiritual thing

01:24:10.760 right there

01:24:11.080 it's very spiritual

01:24:11.840 and it's internal

01:24:13.000 it's intrinsic versus extrinsic

01:24:14.680 and we're in an

01:24:15.320 extrinsically dominated society

01:24:16.980 here's a weird one

01:24:17.820 let's see what you're

01:24:18.400 going to say to this

01:24:19.040 I had a friend of mine

01:24:20.340 who used to go

01:24:20.800 to a catholic church

01:24:21.720 and the guy that ran

01:24:22.740 the church

01:24:23.140 the priest

01:24:23.680 was respected by everybody

01:24:25.860 and one day he flipped

01:24:27.300 and he says

01:24:28.400 you know what

01:24:28.920 I got three women here

01:24:30.260 in the church

01:24:30.780 that I've been seeing

01:24:31.540 and I'm not

01:24:33.520 who you think I am

01:24:34.540 and I have no desire

01:24:35.760 to become

01:24:36.760 the religious leader

01:24:38.140 that you base me on

01:24:38.880 what would John do

01:24:39.560 what would Bobby do

01:24:40.260 what would Larry do

01:24:40.940 how do you manage

01:24:42.700 I've had so many friends

01:24:43.720 that are like

01:24:43.960 look I used to belong

01:24:44.520 to a church

01:24:44.980 when the pastor got up

01:24:45.780 he said this

01:24:47.660 how do you deal with that

01:24:49.340 well we're putting people

01:24:50.680 on pedestals

01:24:51.440 and we all

01:24:51.980 it's a level playing field

01:24:53.380 we've got to stop doing that

01:24:54.360 there's this whole thing

01:24:55.040 I'm a leader

01:24:55.480 so I'm perfect

01:24:56.180 you know if someone

01:24:57.020 what we should be doing

01:24:57.640 is embracing that priest's honesty

01:24:59.120 that he actually has

01:25:00.760 been put in a box

01:25:01.940 of that

01:25:02.760 celibacy

01:25:03.820 we should embrace

01:25:04.600 the honesty

01:25:05.120 and say at least

01:25:05.860 he's actually come out

01:25:07.260 and he's actually been honest

01:25:08.540 and I would go that angle

01:25:11.020 there's a lot of that

01:25:11.980 there's a lot of that

01:25:12.860 oh it's all over

01:25:13.640 yeah there's a lot of that

01:25:14.700 with that

01:25:15.020 because you put people in boxes

01:25:16.020 and they can't live up to it

01:25:16.940 identity kills people

01:25:18.060 people

01:25:18.340 more suicides happen

01:25:19.420 from people's lack of identity

01:25:20.580 than anything else

01:25:21.460 if you're not valued

01:25:23.220 if you're identity

01:25:23.800 if you aren't valued

01:25:24.800 what have you got to live

01:25:26.200 exactly

01:25:26.620 that's a part of it

01:25:27.460 public humiliation

01:25:28.620 you had a massive

01:25:29.760 public humiliation moment

01:25:32.000 nowadays it happens

01:25:33.100 on social media

01:25:33.740 you had a screw up

01:25:34.560 you posted a picture

01:25:35.440 and boom

01:25:37.000 it reappears 12 years

01:25:38.420 I totally forgot

01:25:39.380 I posted it on Facebook

01:25:40.180 12 years ago

01:25:40.800 I can't believe I did that

01:25:41.740 you know

01:25:42.700 I had an incident

01:25:44.120 at my company

01:25:45.380 some happened

01:25:46.940 people saw what I did

01:25:47.880 very embarrassing moment

01:25:49.260 how do you handle that

01:25:50.060 you can't control it

01:25:51.500 just yesterday

01:25:52.720 I sat with a person

01:25:54.500 very successful person

01:25:55.880 she said

01:25:56.740 can I talk to you privately

01:25:57.840 pulled me aside

01:25:58.760 I said yes

01:25:59.700 my brother's girlfriend

01:26:02.640 fiance

01:26:03.580 is a very famous

01:26:05.500 online celebrity

01:26:06.760 okay

01:26:07.280 so I said okay

01:26:08.520 so I look at who the person is

01:26:09.760 I know who this person is

01:26:10.780 I've seen her face before

01:26:11.700 okay

01:26:12.100 this person posted

01:26:14.380 something that was not

01:26:16.520 supposed to happen

01:26:17.360 everybody came after her

01:26:20.540 she lost 70-80%

01:26:23.040 she took a big hit

01:26:24.340 okay

01:26:24.660 because her entire image

01:26:26.240 that she was selling

01:26:27.060 it flipped

01:26:27.600 and I was like

01:26:28.060 wait a minute

01:26:28.380 you're talking about

01:26:29.280 not shaming

01:26:29.780 you just shamed this individual

01:26:30.920 she doesn't know

01:26:32.280 how to come back

01:26:32.740 from this major public

01:26:33.640 humiliation that he had

01:26:34.560 because she humiliated

01:26:35.300 somebody else

01:26:35.840 how do you handle that

01:26:37.280 so from her perspective

01:26:38.740 you made a big screw

01:26:40.480 she knows she screwed up

01:26:41.860 yeah

01:26:42.120 and she is now

01:26:42.900 humiliated publicly

01:26:43.760 because it's out there

01:26:44.740 there's nothing she can do

01:26:45.640 about it

01:26:46.020 easy answer

01:26:46.700 what's that

01:26:47.300 honesty

01:26:47.580 I made a mistake

01:26:48.620 and that's

01:26:49.900 people will still slam you

01:26:51.200 but that is

01:26:51.720 absolute the vulnerability

01:26:52.840 I used to think

01:26:54.180 like this

01:26:54.680 and I've changed

01:26:55.860 because of this

01:26:56.600 people respect that

01:26:57.820 more than ever

01:26:58.240 I said that earlier on

01:26:59.020 about Henry Markham

01:26:59.800 as a great scientist

01:27:00.680 one of the greatest

01:27:01.340 things about him

01:27:02.260 was his ability to say

01:27:03.240 I was in the wrong direction

01:27:04.440 I'm going in another direction

01:27:05.720 it's honesty

01:27:06.800 it's fine

01:27:07.100 and we change

01:27:08.040 we change as humans

01:27:09.260 and we make mistakes

01:27:10.820 tell me one person

01:27:14.400 who hasn't made a mistake

01:27:15.460 and if we start

01:27:16.600 owning up to our mistakes

01:27:17.800 you're not going to have

01:27:18.540 the pride issues

01:27:19.320 that we see

01:27:19.840 so just if you make a mistake

01:27:20.980 and you've hurt someone

01:27:21.700 say sorry

01:27:22.140 and be honest

01:27:22.620 my daughter's never made a mistake

01:27:23.980 exactly

01:27:24.460 she's the one exception

01:27:25.740 not yet

01:27:26.600 not yet

01:27:27.380 but no no

01:27:28.280 obviously that's a whole thing

01:27:29.060 she makes a lot of mistakes

01:27:30.160 and she's famous

01:27:31.040 she screams so loud

01:27:32.580 the entire neighborhood

01:27:34.140 shuts down

01:27:34.700 when this girl screams

01:27:35.560 at three years old

01:27:36.380 well she's getting it out

01:27:36.740 good for her

01:27:37.360 yeah more power

01:27:38.080 I tell you

01:27:38.520 she's not going in her body

01:27:39.700 listen man

01:27:40.060 you're going to sing one day

01:27:40.800 let's do something

01:27:41.540 there we go

01:27:42.020 it's not going in her body

01:27:43.080 she's getting it out

01:27:43.960 parenting and relationships

01:27:44.960 the last thing I want to do

01:27:45.820 and then we can wrap up

01:27:46.500 from here

01:27:46.900 is

01:27:47.760 men who are raised

01:27:52.620 with a bad relationship

01:27:53.780 with mother

01:27:54.320 don't make good spouses

01:27:55.520 okay

01:27:56.280 you've heard this before

01:27:57.380 women who are raised

01:27:58.960 without having a father figure

01:28:00.320 end up becoming

01:28:01.260 dot dot dot

01:28:02.260 right

01:28:02.560 how much truth

01:28:03.980 is there behind that

01:28:04.880 can I answer the same one

01:28:06.120 that I did earlier

01:28:06.780 on nature nurture

01:28:07.580 eye factor

01:28:08.200 so you can have two people

01:28:09.840 two kids in the same home

01:28:11.580 that have experienced

01:28:12.560 that kind of

01:28:13.240 whatever

01:28:13.500 either of those scenarios

01:28:14.960 and one will go into

01:28:16.160 a good relationship

01:28:16.840 one won't go into

01:28:17.680 a good relationship

01:28:18.340 so once again

01:28:20.280 it's about

01:28:21.260 it's definitely effects

01:28:22.820 nurturing does affect

01:28:24.200 and there's definitely

01:28:24.780 going to be issues

01:28:25.620 so the one that does

01:28:26.660 succeed in their relationship

01:28:27.740 there's going to be things

01:28:28.800 that they're going to do

01:28:29.580 that need to be dealt with

01:28:30.900 the whole thing here

01:28:31.900 is embrace

01:28:32.940 the emotional warning signals

01:28:34.780 it's one of the biggest

01:28:35.480 things that I taught

01:28:36.120 all my patients

01:28:36.760 and I say all the time

01:28:37.660 is listen to the emotional

01:28:39.340 and physical warning signals

01:28:40.740 of your body

01:28:41.960 which I've been doing

01:28:42.620 in my clinical research

01:28:43.560 as well

01:28:44.000 and once you train

01:28:45.240 yourself to do that

01:28:45.980 you can then bring

01:28:46.640 that into your

01:28:48.260 see where it's like

01:28:49.720 if you

01:28:50.000 like you have

01:28:51.220 great marriage

01:28:51.780 but you've got

01:28:52.220 this one issue

01:28:52.800 the other person

01:28:53.880 is divorced five times

01:28:54.920 because of the

01:28:55.600 parenting issue

01:28:56.440 so the one who's

01:28:57.780 in the good marriage

01:28:58.520 but they've got

01:28:58.960 this issue

01:28:59.540 face the issue

01:29:00.840 deal with it

01:29:01.340 use the signals

01:29:02.220 that are coming

01:29:02.780 the feedback

01:29:03.300 the emotional ones

01:29:04.280 the physical ones

01:29:04.960 and make the changes

01:29:05.840 fair enough

01:29:06.700 this one's another one

01:29:09.340 that I'm curious

01:29:09.800 on what you'll say

01:29:10.320 about this

01:29:10.820 you know

01:29:11.480 I watch how people

01:29:12.600 are raised

01:29:13.080 okay

01:29:13.540 and sometimes

01:29:14.880 like

01:29:15.200 I interview

01:29:16.300 Stephen A. Smith

01:29:16.940 and Stephen A. Smith

01:29:18.000 is a very famous

01:29:19.620 sports announcer

01:29:20.340 I mean he's incredible

01:29:21.500 sports analyst

01:29:22.320 okay

01:29:22.780 he's incredible

01:29:24.080 he works at ESPN

01:29:24.920 he's pretty much

01:29:25.320 the face of ESPN

01:29:26.160 when he talks

01:29:26.800 people listen

01:29:27.360 okay

01:29:27.720 so I said

01:29:28.700 how'd you become

01:29:29.220 the way you are today

01:29:29.920 he says

01:29:30.080 my mother never

01:29:30.820 let me make an excuse

01:29:32.080 every time something

01:29:33.000 bad happened

01:29:33.560 he says

01:29:33.940 she says

01:29:34.460 what could you

01:29:35.160 have done differently

01:29:35.820 he's black

01:29:36.960 he says

01:29:37.220 my mother never

01:29:38.000 let me use my color

01:29:39.100 as an excuse

01:29:39.800 she never let me

01:29:40.580 once use race

01:29:41.300 never let me use this

01:29:42.140 never

01:29:42.680 so I'm like

01:29:43.380 okay interesting

01:29:44.000 never

01:29:44.900 and anybody who does

01:29:46.120 I see how

01:29:46.840 he talking about

01:29:47.760 how Oprah Winfrey

01:29:48.440 nowadays says

01:29:48.960 this person's like this

01:29:49.880 because of this

01:29:50.680 this person killed somebody

01:29:51.660 because of this

01:29:52.160 I am not

01:29:52.860 this you killed somebody

01:29:53.680 you killed somebody

01:29:54.300 you did this

01:29:54.720 you did this

01:29:55.100 okay

01:29:55.300 flip that

01:29:55.980 obviously you see

01:29:56.440 a guy like this

01:29:56.880 that went straight

01:29:57.420 to the top

01:29:57.800 sometimes I see

01:29:59.000 you know

01:30:00.060 the parenting philosophy

01:30:02.560 and see if there's any

01:30:04.240 research you've done

01:30:05.520 on this

01:30:05.880 of my son is perfect

01:30:07.780 he can't do anything wrong

01:30:08.820 there's no way in the world

01:30:10.000 my son

01:30:10.860 no way

01:30:11.660 he's perfect

01:30:12.720 this kid is incredible

01:30:14.420 you know

01:30:15.160 my grandson is incredible

01:30:16.400 my daughter

01:30:17.080 no way in the world

01:30:17.920 he didn't do the wrong

01:30:18.820 it's probably the teacher

01:30:19.700 it's probably somebody else

01:30:20.600 what kind of effect

01:30:22.380 does that have

01:30:23.180 on a kid

01:30:23.860 when parents

01:30:24.600 are pitching this kid

01:30:26.000 to be perfect

01:30:27.180 what does it do

01:30:28.300 to us psychologically

01:30:29.300 they're setting them up

01:30:30.600 to really experience

01:30:32.440 some hard knocks

01:30:33.780 and hopefully

01:30:34.820 that child

01:30:35.700 is going to

01:30:36.400 as they go

01:30:37.220 through the hard knocks

01:30:37.900 they'll learn the lessons

01:30:38.740 and not perpetuate

01:30:39.640 that cycle of thinking

01:30:40.860 because that's one of those

01:30:41.600 you know

01:30:42.140 those genetic

01:30:42.620 epigenetic things

01:30:43.520 that come through

01:30:44.280 that has been woken up

01:30:45.800 and that could continue

01:30:46.660 down the line

01:30:47.940 but those

01:30:48.540 they're pretty much

01:30:49.480 setting their kids up

01:30:50.260 to have real hard knocks

01:30:51.620 why is that

01:30:52.080 because it's not realistic

01:30:53.200 because you can't

01:30:54.480 control anyone's choices

01:30:55.460 you cannot control

01:30:56.280 events and circumstances

01:30:57.420 and you cannot control

01:30:58.700 other people's choices

01:30:59.620 you can only control

01:31:00.840 your own reactions

01:31:01.880 which is your own

01:31:02.840 thinking, feeling

01:31:03.460 and choosing

01:31:03.980 I still don't get that

01:31:05.320 though

01:31:05.460 so I'm pitching

01:31:07.220 I'm presenting my kid

01:31:09.040 to be

01:31:09.460 you're so perfect

01:31:10.360 you can't

01:31:10.940 this is an incredible

01:31:12.300 this is the most incredible

01:31:13.220 human being I've met

01:31:13.980 in my life

01:31:14.480 you know

01:31:15.220 you're so special

01:31:16.040 you're amazing

01:31:16.720 you're awesome

01:31:17.360 he doesn't make mistakes

01:31:18.460 how does that affect me

01:31:20.080 negatively

01:31:20.580 isn't that a good thing

01:31:21.960 to say that to my kids

01:31:23.040 no you don't want to say

01:31:24.480 that to your kids

01:31:25.000 all the time

01:31:25.400 because it's not realistic

01:31:26.320 it's not a realistic thing

01:31:28.040 because they

01:31:28.580 you love them

01:31:29.380 for who they are

01:31:30.060 but you're setting a standard

01:31:31.100 and they're going to think

01:31:31.880 well if I do any

01:31:32.580 if I fail

01:31:33.260 which is every day

01:31:34.100 you're going to make

01:31:35.040 some mistake

01:31:35.500 you're going to feel guilt

01:31:36.340 and you're never going

01:31:36.980 to measure up to that

01:31:37.760 so you're always going

01:31:38.380 to have an invalid

01:31:39.180 self-esteem

01:31:40.780 you will never measure up

01:31:42.440 to the perfection

01:31:43.120 that you were presented

01:31:43.940 exactly

01:31:44.480 your identity is affected

01:31:46.240 your identity is affected

01:31:47.360 you're setting yourself

01:31:48.160 wow okay

01:31:48.820 could it have an impact

01:31:50.540 of wanting

01:31:51.000 a lack of commitment

01:31:51.940 every time commitment

01:31:52.600 gets a little bit too close

01:31:53.520 I can't distance myself

01:31:54.580 even suicidal

01:31:55.620 because of not being

01:31:56.800 recognized

01:31:57.240 valued for who you are

01:31:58.320 humans are designed

01:31:59.600 to be valued

01:32:00.160 I need to value you

01:32:01.220 for you

01:32:01.780 I need to value my child

01:32:03.200 despite the choices

01:32:04.720 that they make

01:32:05.280 even if I don't agree

01:32:06.080 with a whole bunch

01:32:07.060 of them

01:32:07.360 they are going to make

01:32:09.280 choices that I don't

01:32:10.160 agree with

01:32:10.680 or that are wrong

01:32:11.580 but I still value

01:32:12.440 who they are

01:32:13.120 so you think

01:32:13.880 me telling you

01:32:14.920 you're perfect

01:32:15.520 is a form of judgment

01:32:16.580 it is

01:32:17.600 because I've got to

01:32:18.160 measure now up to

01:32:18.980 what you think

01:32:19.680 is perfection

01:32:20.960 wow

01:32:21.940 what's different

01:32:23.860 to someone else's

01:32:25.400 but initially

01:32:26.420 it may sound like

01:32:27.060 a very noble thing

01:32:27.900 you're doing to me

01:32:28.480 you're not

01:32:29.020 I'm not

01:32:29.340 I'm actually saying

01:32:29.980 this is what I need

01:32:30.860 you're filling my need

01:32:31.760 you better fill my need

01:32:32.760 it's very selfish

01:32:33.420 I like you

01:32:34.640 this is very very good

01:32:36.900 I like you

01:32:37.400 so have you seen

01:32:38.560 the movie The Pharaoh

01:32:39.160 have you seen

01:32:39.780 this new movie

01:32:40.500 that came out

01:32:41.060 with

01:32:41.380 it's apparently

01:32:43.080 a Chinese philosophy

01:32:43.900 where the grandmother

01:32:44.580 has throat cancer

01:32:45.600 but apparently

01:32:46.800 in China

01:32:47.220 if you have

01:32:47.600 an illness

01:32:48.640 that you're going

01:32:49.080 to die

01:32:49.400 they don't tell you

01:32:50.120 about it

01:32:50.540 so they came

01:32:51.640 and they told her

01:32:52.140 hey the doctor

01:32:52.600 said it's terminal

01:32:53.600 illness

01:32:53.900 but they came

01:32:54.320 to the grandma

01:32:54.760 and said

01:32:55.040 no you just

01:32:55.440 got a bad cough

01:32:56.240 so the doctor

01:32:57.300 says this lady

01:32:57.880 has got 3 to 6

01:32:58.600 months to live

01:32:59.140 I'm paraphrasing

01:33:00.440 some of the facts

01:33:01.000 it could be a month

01:33:01.600 to 3 months to live

01:33:02.320 6 years later

01:33:03.420 she's still living

01:33:04.060 because she has

01:33:04.740 no idea

01:33:05.340 that she has

01:33:06.360 throat cancer

01:33:07.260 how much do you

01:33:08.700 believe in that

01:33:09.600 oh my gosh

01:33:10.260 so much

01:33:10.760 mine is 99%

01:33:12.280 we see

01:33:12.820 with the work

01:33:14.260 that we do

01:33:14.820 directly

01:33:15.280 my clinical team

01:33:16.460 and the research

01:33:16.940 we do

01:33:17.260 we see that

01:33:18.000 if you're

01:33:19.360 your mind

01:33:19.780 is being managed

01:33:20.660 and you have

01:33:22.440 a mindset

01:33:22.940 that is one

01:33:23.800 of seeing

01:33:25.160 opportunities

01:33:25.680 learning

01:33:26.260 all the stuff

01:33:26.780 we've been

01:33:27.020 speaking about

01:33:27.640 that mind

01:33:28.540 will control

01:33:29.220 the body

01:33:29.600 because the mind

01:33:30.260 controls the body

01:33:31.040 so we see

01:33:31.840 people that are

01:33:32.640 on medication

01:33:33.400 for cancer

01:33:34.320 people that have

01:33:35.920 got these diagnoses

01:33:36.700 and they live

01:33:37.280 beyond

01:33:37.700 because of their

01:33:38.760 attitude

01:33:39.160 their state of mind

01:33:39.900 now that could

01:33:40.400 that could come

01:33:41.500 from someone

01:33:42.560 not telling you

01:33:43.360 or you hear it

01:33:44.460 but you're just

01:33:44.860 you're not going to

01:33:45.760 my mindset

01:33:46.500 such that I'm

01:33:47.100 going to make it

01:33:47.480 you hear people

01:33:48.180 that go through

01:33:48.780 chemo

01:33:49.260 they have very

01:33:49.980 mild chemo

01:33:50.820 and they get

01:33:51.360 so many side effects

01:33:52.620 other people

01:33:53.160 that get heavy chemo

01:33:54.440 no side effects

01:33:55.620 drugs

01:33:56.340 medication

01:33:56.900 medication is

01:33:57.660 only as effective

01:33:58.920 as you believe

01:33:59.580 it's effective

01:33:59.960 is that perception

01:34:00.860 perception

01:34:01.860 is that also

01:34:02.560 part of that

01:34:03.160 perception

01:34:03.740 yes it drives

01:34:04.780 the effectiveness

01:34:05.320 got it

01:34:05.940 this is what you're

01:34:06.460 thinking right now

01:34:07.120 driving your genome

01:34:07.940 your genome

01:34:08.460 is in every cell

01:34:09.300 so how you're

01:34:10.120 functioning physically

01:34:10.900 you're making

01:34:12.000 810,000 cells

01:34:13.620 every second

01:34:14.220 the quality

01:34:15.020 is based on

01:34:16.020 your perception

01:34:16.520 your eye factor

01:34:17.260 your mind

01:34:17.760 this think

01:34:18.400 feel choose thing

01:34:19.280 do you think

01:34:20.100 there's a genius

01:34:20.620 in all of us

01:34:21.200 I do

01:34:22.000 I do believe that

01:34:22.760 and it's different

01:34:23.360 it's different

01:34:24.120 for everybody

01:34:24.620 do you believe

01:34:25.640 there's a link

01:34:26.480 between madness

01:34:27.340 and success

01:34:28.180 absolutely

01:34:29.400 because what is madness

01:34:30.420 so there's definitely

01:34:31.460 you know

01:34:31.920 everyone's a little crazy

01:34:32.860 yeah I would agree

01:34:34.980 with that

01:34:35.360 and then do you think

01:34:36.440 there's a certain

01:34:37.400 madness or philosophy

01:34:38.820 or approach

01:34:39.420 to raising boys

01:34:40.240 versus girls

01:34:41.320 I hate this book

01:34:42.420 I don't agree

01:34:42.940 with one word

01:34:43.480 in this book

01:34:44.020 you're being serious

01:34:44.820 yeah well

01:34:45.460 maybe there's a few

01:34:46.420 words but this is

01:34:47.660 the boys and girls

01:34:49.100 are different

01:34:49.640 tell me why

01:34:50.720 you know who he is

01:34:51.760 oh absolutely

01:34:52.660 absolutely

01:34:53.500 I think there's a lot

01:34:54.500 of everyone's got

01:34:55.320 some truth

01:34:55.860 wow

01:34:56.320 what is the one part

01:34:57.980 about the book

01:34:58.400 you remember

01:34:58.720 that you don't

01:34:59.200 like

01:34:59.700 well there's

01:35:00.680 there's a lot

01:35:01.180 of issues

01:35:02.160 but the whole thing

01:35:02.920 is it's almost

01:35:03.600 like this

01:35:04.100 it's a control

01:35:04.920 there's a lot

01:35:05.320 of control

01:35:05.700 that this is

01:35:06.240 what you have

01:35:06.800 to be

01:35:07.220 as opposed

01:35:08.080 to

01:35:08.400 fair enough

01:35:09.840 okay

01:35:10.000 yeah

01:35:10.400 no I mean

01:35:11.080 there's raising up

01:35:12.800 boys raising up

01:35:13.420 girls bringing up

01:35:14.100 boys

01:35:14.820 there's a bunch

01:35:15.260 of them

01:35:15.460 okay

01:35:15.740 male-female brain

01:35:16.760 there's differences

01:35:17.300 but we've got

01:35:18.040 what I always say

01:35:19.660 about male

01:35:19.980 because I get asked

01:35:20.620 this question

01:35:21.020 all the time

01:35:21.640 what I think

01:35:22.880 is the most

01:35:23.280 important thing

01:35:23.940 is first of all

01:35:24.620 the I factor

01:35:25.360 which expresses

01:35:26.260 itself through

01:35:27.080 maleness

01:35:27.660 or femaleness

01:35:28.300 definitely different

01:35:29.000 there's different

01:35:29.420 structures

01:35:29.840 sizes in the brain

01:35:31.060 and we're different

01:35:31.940 do you subscribe

01:35:32.560 to the whole

01:35:32.860 five love languages

01:35:33.600 or no

01:35:34.040 it's a way

01:35:35.240 of understanding

01:35:35.820 I don't think

01:35:36.340 it's as fixed

01:35:36.960 I think it's

01:35:37.500 a way of understanding

01:35:38.720 things

01:35:39.160 32 years you're married

01:35:40.160 to your man

01:35:41.300 when he starts

01:35:42.180 speaking

01:35:42.560 he seems like

01:35:43.800 he's got an ego

01:35:44.400 what I mean by ego

01:35:45.340 I don't mean a negative

01:35:46.080 he seems like

01:35:46.660 he's a man's man

01:35:47.300 he doesn't seem

01:35:48.020 like he's a

01:35:48.700 you know

01:35:49.540 you got a strong

01:35:50.520 personality

01:35:51.040 sometimes strong

01:35:51.940 personality gets

01:35:52.820 the partner

01:35:53.860 to be a little bit

01:35:54.580 more timid

01:35:55.080 but no

01:35:55.780 he's very strong

01:35:56.660 he came

01:35:57.180 took a charge

01:35:57.900 here's what we got

01:35:58.620 here's what we brought

01:35:59.280 so what have you

01:36:00.740 done to

01:36:01.480 better communicate

01:36:02.680 and deal with

01:36:03.320 your husband

01:36:03.780 for 32 years

01:36:04.640 we have so much

01:36:06.120 respect for each other

01:36:07.040 he's my greatest fan

01:36:08.800 and I'm his greatest fan

01:36:09.920 he is at every event

01:36:11.600 I do

01:36:12.280 he's heard me speak

01:36:13.020 for 32 years

01:36:13.900 so that is a huge

01:36:15.380 part of it

01:36:15.820 and also we agree

01:36:16.740 to disagree

01:36:17.260 and we will have

01:36:18.080 an argument

01:36:18.660 we'll get it out

01:36:19.480 do it once

01:36:20.020 yes

01:36:20.780 we never go to bed

01:36:21.600 without

01:36:21.820 we made a decision

01:36:22.880 at the beginning

01:36:23.380 when we first started dating

01:36:24.540 we would never go to bed

01:36:26.120 without resolving an argument

01:36:27.340 so if we stay up all night

01:36:28.480 we will never go to bed

01:36:29.820 without saying

01:36:30.380 I love you

01:36:30.820 I'm sorry

01:36:31.280 and listening to the other side

01:36:32.960 even if it took a little

01:36:33.760 screaming to get there

01:36:34.700 do you put this stuff

01:36:35.960 on his brain

01:36:36.420 when you're talking to him

01:36:37.200 just to kind of see

01:36:37.740 if he's paying attention

01:36:38.760 or not

01:36:39.080 like what was that

01:36:39.620 Q-E-E-G

01:36:40.500 Q-E-E-G

01:36:42.280 do you put that there

01:36:43.040 and say

01:36:43.220 are you paying attention

01:36:44.440 or not

01:36:44.920 what is going on

01:36:45.740 over here

01:36:46.160 exactly

01:36:46.560 my kids say

01:36:47.700 mom don't psychoanalyze me

01:36:49.060 that's the part

01:36:49.940 because sometimes

01:36:50.760 you know

01:36:51.060 when you are

01:36:51.720 when you have a mother

01:36:52.680 like yourself

01:36:53.260 or a wife

01:36:53.960 it's somebody

01:36:55.360 that majors in psychology

01:36:56.600 or communication

01:36:57.380 all that stuff

01:36:57.880 it's always like

01:36:58.540 hey

01:36:59.100 how do I allow

01:37:00.460 it to happen

01:37:01.440 without knowing

01:37:02.000 overanalyzing

01:37:03.180 certain things

01:37:03.840 that the person

01:37:04.320 is trying to say

01:37:04.820 or feel

01:37:05.120 you know

01:37:05.260 what normally happens

01:37:05.940 is they all turn

01:37:06.780 their back on me

01:37:07.240 and say

01:37:07.440 mom you said

01:37:08.280 there's a choice

01:37:08.880 you know

01:37:09.220 so they hold me

01:37:10.320 accountable for what I say

01:37:11.540 which is cool

01:37:12.340 yeah that's very good

01:37:13.240 so look

01:37:13.580 I've really enjoyed

01:37:14.200 this conversation

01:37:14.860 thank you

01:37:15.120 I feel like

01:37:15.320 it just went by

01:37:15.980 very quickly

01:37:16.580 let's talk about

01:37:17.900 your book

01:37:18.240 do you want to talk

01:37:18.780 about your latest book

01:37:19.460 that came out

01:37:20.020 yeah

01:37:20.660 that's

01:37:20.940 think learn succeed

01:37:21.720 and that

01:37:22.240 I talk about

01:37:23.000 the current situation

01:37:24.400 technology

01:37:25.180 how it's changed

01:37:25.880 our thinking

01:37:26.360 I talk about

01:37:27.180 15 mindsets

01:37:28.180 like

01:37:28.440 possibilities

01:37:29.400 mindset

01:37:29.920 and expectation

01:37:30.580 and a mindset

01:37:31.700 is basically

01:37:32.380 how you see

01:37:33.020 the day

01:37:33.280 your perspective

01:37:33.780 you put up a post

01:37:34.560 the other day

01:37:34.920 that I use a lot

01:37:35.600 Prince William

01:37:36.500 the one finger

01:37:37.260 and the three fingers

01:37:38.100 do you remember

01:37:38.900 putting that up

01:37:39.460 okay

01:37:39.680 I use that a lot

01:37:40.600 to explain mindsets

01:37:41.600 it's your perspective

01:37:42.360 so this book deals

01:37:43.500 a lot with how you perceive

01:37:44.640 you've either got a one finger

01:37:45.660 perspective for the day

01:37:46.560 or not

01:37:47.020 and there's 15 different

01:37:48.260 perspectives that kind of

01:37:49.180 set you for the day

01:37:50.040 and set you for the week

01:37:51.200 and then I also talk in there

01:37:52.900 about how you can understand

01:37:54.060 the unique way

01:37:54.780 that you think

01:37:55.300 feel and choose

01:37:56.060 I developed a profile

01:37:57.460 for my patients

01:37:58.180 years ago

01:37:58.680 that I researched

01:37:59.320 clinically

01:37:59.680 over the years

01:38:00.780 and so on

01:38:01.080 and I've put a very

01:38:02.220 simple version of it

01:38:03.180 in there

01:38:03.500 there's no wrong answer

01:38:04.580 there's no measurement

01:38:05.360 it's simply

01:38:06.280 you understanding

01:38:07.600 how you uniquely

01:38:08.840 think feel and choose

01:38:09.740 because we've got to

01:38:10.580 realize that you're

01:38:11.280 different to me

01:38:11.880 and when people do that

01:38:13.080 you learn more effectively

01:38:13.980 your relationships

01:38:14.720 improve

01:38:15.200 so it's a really

01:38:15.740 exciting thing

01:38:17.320 and then there's

01:38:17.760 a lot about memory

01:38:18.620 the five steps

01:38:19.480 those five steps

01:38:20.200 how to build your brain

01:38:21.600 I focus tremendously

01:38:22.460 in this book

01:38:23.060 on how to build your brain

01:38:23.960 because we've spoken

01:38:25.060 a lot about detox

01:38:25.980 the five steps

01:38:26.820 I said we limit it

01:38:28.140 to 15 to 30 minutes a day

01:38:29.860 so when you're detoxing

01:38:31.280 you use the five steps

01:38:32.440 because that's how

01:38:33.400 five steps are based

01:38:34.560 on how the science of thought

01:38:36.080 how thought forms

01:38:37.180 in your brain

01:38:37.640 so what your mind does

01:38:39.040 goes through five steps

01:38:40.080 to grow thought

01:38:40.740 so you use the same five steps

01:38:42.180 to break down toxic thoughts

01:38:43.480 and replace them with healthy

01:38:44.520 you use the same five steps

01:38:46.280 to build your brain

01:38:47.040 and every human

01:38:48.400 should spend at least

01:38:49.940 one to two hours a day

01:38:51.020 learning new information

01:38:52.120 to the level

01:38:53.360 where they actually

01:38:54.180 can teach it

01:38:55.040 one to two hours a day

01:38:56.340 learning new information

01:38:57.240 to be able to teach it

01:38:58.100 exactly

01:38:58.400 so you could spread

01:38:59.320 that across the day

01:39:00.120 you could

01:39:00.500 and if you think

01:39:01.060 of how much time

01:39:01.620 we waste on Facebook

01:39:02.440 and silly things

01:39:03.920 it's deep thinking

01:39:05.600 that deep intellectual thought

01:39:06.680 otherwise your brain

01:39:07.320 builds up toxic waste

01:39:08.240 affects your sleep

01:39:08.920 and we didn't even

01:39:09.640 touch on sleep

01:39:10.280 I definitely spent

01:39:11.460 my two hours today

01:39:12.460 you know

01:39:13.000 spending time with you

01:39:14.100 I learned a lot

01:39:14.620 spending time with you

01:39:15.520 doc appreciate you

01:39:16.820 for coming out

01:39:17.360 this was a blast

01:39:18.220 I really enjoyed it

01:39:19.020 I did too

01:39:19.600 it was amazing

01:39:20.220 thank you so much

01:39:21.000 I really appreciate it

01:39:21.980 great meeting you

01:39:22.820 and thank you for what you do

01:39:23.660 thanks everybody

01:39:24.300 for listening

01:39:24.860 and by the way

01:39:25.400 if you haven't already

01:39:26.040 subscribed to

01:39:26.740 Valuetainment on iTunes

01:39:28.020 please do so

01:39:29.360 give us a five star

01:39:30.680 write a review

01:39:31.560 if you haven't already

01:39:32.360 and if you have any questions

01:39:33.480 for me that you may have

01:39:34.500 you can always find me

01:39:35.580 on Snapchat

01:39:36.100 Instagram

01:39:36.900 Facebook

01:39:37.620 or YouTube

01:39:38.320 just search my name

01:39:39.260 Patrick Middavid

01:39:40.260 and I actually do

01:39:41.480 respond back

01:39:42.340 when you snap me

01:39:43.200 or send me a message

01:39:44.260 on Instagram

01:39:45.020 with that being said

01:39:45.880 have a great day today

01:39:46.920 take care everybody

01:39:47.620 bye bye

Valuetainment - February 07, 2020

Episode 425： Neuroscientist Explains Brain & Mind Connection

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