Valuetainment - “MySpace Ruined DJ’s Marriage” – Navy SEALs REVEAL Cheating Scandals & Deployment Wife Drama

00:00:00.000 When I was in the Army, I wanted to go, I interviewed at 18 Delta,

00:00:03.300 to be in 18 Delta at 5th Group at Fort Campbell, Kentucky,

00:00:06.620 and I wanted to go to Sears and go to DLI because I spoke five languages.

00:00:10.940 So they said, you're going to go to, you know, Fort Orr.

00:00:13.340 That's where the DLI was back in the days.

00:00:15.080 You know, they called it, what was it called?

00:00:17.700 The Planet or something like that, right?

00:00:19.380 I think it was in Carmel.

00:00:21.800 And so the orders come back.

00:00:23.820 I decide to get out.

00:00:24.840 He gets the orders.

00:00:25.840 He leaves.

00:00:26.440 He ends up becoming Delta for 12 years, loves it, the operations, all this stuff.

00:00:32.780 I don't talk to him for many years.

00:00:34.180 I thought something happened to him.

00:00:35.400 Finally, we link up.

00:00:36.360 He tells me what's going on.

00:00:37.520 I said, let's meet up.

00:00:38.300 We go to Madrid.

00:00:39.080 We meet at El Clasico, a soccer match between Messi and Ronaldo.

00:00:42.980 And I think at the time when I met him, he was on his third marriage.

00:00:46.040 What is it with this occupation that makes it so difficult to keep your marriage intact?

00:00:52.900 You can take that one unless you don't mean to surrender.

00:00:57.460 I barely squeak by.

00:01:00.140 I mean, I think the schedule is super challenging.

00:01:04.320 Normally, you're gone at least 300 days a year.

00:01:07.220 Over, probably.

00:01:09.260 We're terrible at communicating.

00:01:11.380 Great at bottling everything up.

00:01:13.320 In town long enough to get in a fight.

00:01:15.600 Then go out of town and forget about it.

00:01:17.840 In town long enough to get into a fight with your wife and then you leave.

00:01:20.620 Yeah, so you never settle anything.

00:01:24.220 You just kind of rinse and repeat.

00:01:26.400 And I think, again, the schedule, our entire time in the military was all war.

00:01:32.580 So you're losing friends, that kind of stress.

00:01:35.440 You're a single mom, working mom.

00:01:40.360 And you kind of travel like a rock star.

00:01:44.660 You travel like a rock star while they're behind.

00:01:47.480 Well, I mean, when 20 of us that look like us walk into a bar, it attracts my attention.

00:01:57.040 Okay, because when I went through the recruiting, the guy said to me, he says, go interview three guys before you even think about doing this.

00:02:03.480 I said, okay, no problem.

00:02:04.400 So I go in.

00:02:06.520 First guy says, you want to get married and have kids? 0.67

00:02:09.840 I said, yeah, absolutely.

00:02:11.040 He says, this is not the career for you.

00:02:12.560 I said, why not?

00:02:13.540 He says, because this is your wife, your career.

00:02:15.880 You're going to be gone, you're going to be traveling, you're going to be there.

00:02:18.060 Go to the second guy.

00:02:19.260 Do you want to get married and have kids?

00:02:20.900 I do.

00:02:21.320 Well, you're not going to be able to do all this.

00:02:23.240 So they're scaring you away from getting married, building a family.

00:02:27.320 Is that also what you guys went through orientation-wise, where some of the guys are telling you about getting married?

00:02:32.740 Or they're saying, no, support it, get married, it's fine, it's going to work out?

00:02:36.580 No, I mean, there were definitely rock stars.

00:02:38.540 And you look back at some of the guys, they've been married 20-plus years, DJ, Patsy Hinton, over 15.

00:02:44.100 You've been married 20-plus years?

00:02:45.520 15.

00:02:46.080 15 years.

00:02:46.760 So, I mean, there are definitely guys that have solid families.

00:02:50.000 It's like, I don't know how they did it.

00:02:53.660 But then there's kind of the reverse, where they get divorced a lot.

00:02:57.680 But the support family definitely came first.

00:03:01.200 But I think the hard part for us was switching it off.

00:03:04.880 That's why we kind of talk about dials and switches.

00:03:07.340 The work required you to be 100% on all the time.

00:03:10.820 And everything else took second.

00:03:12.100 How did you make it work?

00:03:13.240 15 years.

00:03:14.360 I didn't.

00:03:15.320 I married a unicorn.

00:03:16.580 That's the only reason.

00:03:18.420 I was an idealist.

00:03:19.520 You know, I grew up in the SEAL teams.

00:03:20.660 My dad was a SEAL.

00:03:21.720 The only male influence I had my entire life were Navy SEALs.

00:03:25.160 And most of them were divorced.

00:03:27.060 And that was just the culture.

00:03:28.280 This thing comes first.

00:03:29.280 You come home, drop off a bag of dirty laundry, grab new clothes, and leave again.

00:03:33.820 And that's exactly what I did.

00:03:35.440 I just, I got really fortunate because my wife was already married to a SEAL.

00:03:39.180 Unfortunately, he was killed.

00:03:40.520 So, she'd been through the entire gambit already.

00:03:43.140 And I think that was a lot of my hesitation.

00:03:44.880 I didn't want to stop doing that job.

00:03:47.540 Training is so hard.

00:03:48.640 It's so long.

00:03:49.500 It's so arduous.

00:03:50.340 You don't ever want to leave it.

00:03:52.180 It's like, you know, you're playing professional sports.

00:03:54.160 I don't want to take any time away.

00:03:56.260 I don't.

00:03:56.480 But as soon as I leave, I can't give you any bandwidth right now because it's not going

00:04:00.680 to help me overseas.

00:04:01.220 You have to start compartmentalizing.

00:04:02.780 And that just builds up a resentment time and time again.

00:04:05.540 And when you come home, you're so stressed out.

00:04:07.500 I mean, two-hand texting.

00:04:08.520 You're in the group chat.

00:04:09.340 I've got to get ready for this trip.

00:04:10.640 You're missing ballet recitals and anniversaries and birthdays because none of it truly matters

00:04:14.960 at that point because you're trying to lay a foundation.

00:04:17.480 And unfortunately, you realize you're never going to have that foundation you want.

00:04:20.500 You just keep adding layer after layer after layer.

00:04:22.640 And you never build in time for them.

00:04:24.320 So that's why we do talk about dials.

00:04:26.460 You know, if you're brand new, brand new guy that gets on a team and you have no external

00:04:30.880 commitments, no wife, no family, no picket fence, no Labrador, I can roll that dial all

00:04:35.320 the way to a 10 and I can be that Kobe Bryant.

00:04:37.360 I can live this one thing at 100% until I do have a rock solid foundation.

00:04:42.020 Then I add in a girlfriend that turns in a fiance, but I have to operate on dials.

00:04:45.900 And for us, we just rolled that whole thing over and never backed it off.

00:04:49.140 Now we just started stacking stuff on top of it.

00:04:51.680 And it's really hard to, it's really hard to split your time and focus.

00:04:54.860 And a lot of them, they're just not meant to do it.

00:04:56.900 Guys may or they're high school sweethearts.

00:04:58.220 You've never been apart for two weeks before.

00:04:59.860 Now you're gone for nine months.

00:05:01.160 How do you do that?

00:05:02.220 I mean, it's that you love that job so much.

00:05:04.680 You literally just wall it off.

00:05:06.080 You don't even think about, I never thought about it.

00:05:08.020 You just compartmentalize it.

00:05:09.260 Both of us are our firstborns.

00:05:11.920 We both left on separate deployments three weeks after they were born.

00:05:15.280 And both of those deployments that we were on were probably our worst.

00:05:20.060 So we came back to a five-month-old and just super kind of torn up from the deployment too.

00:05:27.960 And not easy.

00:05:29.520 How was it for you with your father if he was a SEAL?

00:05:31.520 So was he gone all the time and you still had a relationship with him?

00:05:34.440 All the time.

00:05:35.260 Gone.

00:05:35.840 He's still your hero though.

00:05:37.520 I mean, up until a certain point he was.

00:05:38.840 I mean, when he graduated BUDS, my mom was nine months pregnant with me.

00:05:43.900 So his entire time in the SEAL teams, I was with him.

00:05:47.400 But he's just gone.

00:05:48.360 I mean, I think he did like 13 deployments.

00:05:52.100 Each one six months long.

00:05:53.460 And there's no break in between.

00:05:55.260 Six-month workup, home for a while, gone, gone, gone.

00:05:58.080 And then all the training trips in between.

00:06:00.040 Everyone's a two- or three-week trip.

00:06:01.780 You're home for two days, geared up, send it again, send it again.

00:06:04.480 So from the day you were born until you were, you know, 13, how often would you see him?

00:06:13.380 If you went combined total, less than three months out of the year.

00:06:17.220 Less than three months out of the year you see him.

00:06:19.340 But it still made you want to be a SEAL?

00:06:21.940 Well, it's the only thing you know.

00:06:23.260 And when you come home, you have him, you see all the guys.

00:06:26.940 And, you know, you've seen the movie Navy SEALs with Charlie Sheen.

00:06:29.600 That was my childhood.

00:06:30.860 That is exactly what I grew up with.

00:06:32.500 And I loved it.

00:06:33.680 Who was Charlie Sheen?

00:06:35.560 I mean, he was one of the officers, but, I mean, just not.

00:06:39.820 Everybody, everybody who was in that movie, that represented what the 90s Navy SEALs were like.

00:06:45.200 Drinking, partying, training, deploying just over and over and over again.

00:06:48.680 And it became infectious.

00:06:49.760 Like, I mean, to us, I mean, I'd walk right past the Rolling Stones or some high-level athlete just to get near a commando.

00:06:57.060 Like, they just have such a polarizing presence.

00:06:59.000 You just can't get away from it.

00:07:00.180 So when you grow up with it your whole life, that's the only thing you want to emulate.

00:07:02.360 Like, I just want to look like that.

00:07:03.680 I want the tattoos.

00:07:04.540 I want to look like that.

00:07:05.340 I want to be able to perform like that.

00:07:07.300 And that's just what you chase.

00:07:09.200 Your wife, her first husband passed away.

00:07:12.100 He didn't make it.

00:07:12.840 So was she part of a family, military family growing up?

00:07:16.880 How did she marry two SEALs?

00:07:18.380 Her dad was a SEAL.

00:07:19.060 Oh, so that makes a lot of sense.

00:07:23.340 So then, you know what it reminds me of?

00:07:24.780 You ever seen a movie with Mark Wahlberg where it's him and Jennifer Aniston, and I think he's a rock star.

00:07:29.440 And maybe the movie is called Rock Star.

00:07:31.620 Is it called Rock Star?

00:07:32.780 It is.

00:07:33.220 And then they have the two buses, and the other wives are training her on what it is to be married to a rock star. 1.00

00:07:39.400 Do you remember that whole scene?

00:07:40.360 You're like, look, here's what's going to happen.

00:07:42.100 This is normal.

00:07:43.280 This is what it's like.

00:07:44.840 Sometimes you're going to wake up.

00:07:45.960 It's going to be weird.

00:07:46.580 And then there's this one scene where they wake up and don't tell me, what did we do last night?

00:07:51.620 I don't know what happened last night.

00:07:52.860 Is it almost a little bit of that where you have to know who you're marrying to know what comes with the territory?

00:07:57.560 Like some of these things that come with the territory?

00:07:59.760 I think, yeah, because a lot of the guys, you know, Cole married one of his high school sweethearts too.

00:08:04.540 She's never been exposed to it.

00:08:06.120 So when you get in around those people, they knew you when you were in high school.

00:08:09.660 They knew you when you were 21 years old.

00:08:11.140 Now you leave for four or five years.

00:08:12.560 You rekindle that marriage and you are a completely different person.

00:08:16.460 Your mannerisms, the way you carry yourself, the people you associate with, everything else is different.

00:08:21.320 And they don't know how it happened.

00:08:22.860 And a lot of them, they don't see it until it's too late.

00:08:24.580 Like now we are married.

00:08:25.600 And it's like, this is not the guy he was in high school.

00:08:28.000 He can't be.

00:08:29.040 You can't be because of the job you have.

00:08:31.060 You have to elevate and you have to transform.

00:08:34.120 You can't be that same guy and do that job at 100%.

00:08:36.240 There's no way.

00:08:37.540 It takes too much.

00:08:39.060 That is wild.

00:08:39.740 So what advice do you guys give when guys are coming to you?

00:08:42.380 What do you tell them?

00:08:43.080 Do you say, get married?

00:08:44.100 Do you say, don't get married?

00:08:45.060 What do you tell them?

00:08:45.520 Don't get married.

00:08:45.920 Don't get married.

00:08:46.360 Don't get married.

00:08:46.800 You tell them, don't get married.

00:08:47.880 I tell them, don't get married until past 30.

00:08:49.740 You've done at least four years.

00:08:51.960 Optimally, you've done eight years.

00:08:53.600 Four of those completely single.

00:08:54.960 Just isolating, polishing your craft.

00:08:56.760 Now you find her.

00:08:57.820 You test her out.

00:08:58.600 Meaning, you make her do a couple deployments as your fiance.

00:09:01.060 That way, if it doesn't work, there's no divorce.

00:09:03.200 There's no strain on the force.

00:09:04.920 The fine doesn't work.

00:09:05.820 How do you check if it doesn't work?

00:09:06.800 Because I remember in the army, like if you're in the army, there was a story you would hear

00:09:13.320 where a guy would go, come back nine months later.

00:09:15.280 He finds out his wife's with somebody and hey, you leave the broom outside.

00:09:18.840 There was this whole, I don't know if you remember these different things.

00:09:21.820 I don't want to kind of give some of those stuff away.

00:09:23.640 And a guy would come out one day.

00:09:25.660 This guy, I won't say his name, but I clearly remember this.

00:09:29.060 He goes, you go to the hotel, he walks in and he sees it.

00:09:33.760 He's devastated.

00:09:34.800 He's going through suicide watch.

00:09:36.420 He's not talking about it for 30 days.

00:09:38.040 How do you test it out when you're gone for that long?

00:09:40.320 What do you do?

00:09:40.800 Do you have a friend come and check him out?

00:09:41.960 Do you say to the club owner, was she at the nightclub?

00:09:44.240 How do you check them out?

00:09:46.680 Myspace?

00:09:47.900 Myspace ruined DJ's life.

00:09:49.940 Myspace ruined this.

00:09:51.700 What happened to me, dude?

00:09:52.780 What happened with Myspace?

00:09:54.220 Same thing.

00:09:54.800 I was dating my high school girlfriend.

00:09:56.260 Went over to Iraq.

00:09:57.020 You know, I'm 19 years old, we're stormtrooping through Baghdad, doing the whole thing.

00:10:00.960 And I didn't even have an email account at the time.

00:10:02.800 I mean, I set up a Hotmail in 2005 when we were over in Iraq.

00:10:06.060 And then Myspace popped up, made a little profile.

00:10:08.740 Nobody knows what it is.

00:10:09.760 The social media's not even a thing yet.

00:10:11.860 You type in different names.

00:10:12.900 I type my sister's name, it pops up.

00:10:14.520 Type in random people's names, they pop up.

00:10:16.660 I type my girlfriend's name.

00:10:18.000 Hit enter.

00:10:18.680 It pops up.

00:10:19.220 She's got a profile. 0.99

00:10:19.920 I'm like, oh, this is cool.

00:10:21.920 It's got a little bio, like this is my name.

00:10:23.900 I'm crazy and love my boyfriend.

00:10:25.120 His name's Brian.

00:10:26.060 I'm like, my name ain't Brian.

00:10:28.560 Like, looking around, like, what is this?

00:10:30.040 You're joking.

00:10:30.720 No.

00:10:31.720 The whole thing.

00:10:32.480 She'd been dating a guy living in my house the entire time I was before.

00:10:35.860 Stop it.

00:10:36.380 Oh, no.

00:10:37.080 Really.

00:10:38.120 So what do you do?

00:10:39.080 Call him. 1.00

00:10:39.960 Better pack your shit and get out of my house right now. 1.00

00:10:42.920 Never talk to you again. 1.00

00:10:43.920 But it's the same thing.

00:10:44.760 Like, they'll start complaining about the deployment cycle being gone.

00:10:47.320 You're not making enough time for me.

00:10:48.380 I can't.

00:10:49.460 I don't have Wi-Fi.

00:10:50.500 And then it just becomes a huge burden.

00:10:52.380 A huge mental taxation.

00:10:53.380 It's like, is this improving my performance overseas?

00:10:55.960 No.

00:10:56.820 Well, I got to get rid of you.

00:10:58.480 Get away. 1.00

00:10:59.000 Or you marry a unicorn, like my wife, who's just an absolute gangster. 0.98

00:11:02.920 She gets it.

00:11:04.220 And I can count the times on one hand.

00:11:07.180 That's tough to marry somebody like your wife, whose father was like, it's like, Mary, you

00:11:11.780 know, guys, I'll never forget my wife.

00:11:14.860 We're getting married.

00:11:15.600 I take her to meet different wives to shape the mindset of, do you know who you're really 1.00

00:11:20.080 married?

00:11:20.500 And the best person that she sat down with was our pastor's wife. 1.00

00:11:26.020 And she goes on, spends time with him.

00:11:28.800 And she says, are you ready to share your husband with the world?

00:11:31.900 And she says, what do you mean?

00:11:33.180 She says, well, look, my husband runs a church with 20,000 members.

00:11:36.280 Guess what?

00:11:36.740 Everybody wants to talk to him all the time.

00:11:39.700 Call, this person died, funeral, this, this, that, wedding, this.

00:11:42.700 Are you ready?

00:11:43.240 Because that's what's happening with you.

00:11:44.520 She says, well, yeah, I guess I'm okay with that.

00:11:46.280 So let me tell you my 10 affirmations.

00:11:47.920 And she starts kind of going through the affirmations.

00:11:50.320 And then, you know, sometimes your husband's going to come home.

00:11:52.680 You're not in the mood to do anything.

00:11:53.740 If you ask for it, you got to find a way to make the time to please you.

00:11:55.940 And all these things that she's going through, she comes back.

00:11:58.720 I said, so how did it go?

00:12:00.120 Well, she said this.

00:12:01.080 She said that.

00:12:01.540 I said, this is a rock star wife. 0.99

00:12:03.660 This is great, right?

00:12:04.720 It's like shaping the mindset of it, right?

00:12:07.180 She had it.

00:12:07.840 But it's tough to find somebody like that.

00:12:09.820 It is.

00:12:10.120 And you really saw in the old school garden, you know, I say the wives that really cut 1.00

00:12:13.600 their teeth during GWAT during the early days, no support, brand new in the war.

00:12:17.440 We didn't know what was going on.

00:12:19.080 Deployment cycles just kept increasing over and over.

00:12:21.760 So you've got this batch of, you know, a couple hundred wives that are really, really bought 1.00

00:12:25.860 in.

00:12:26.260 And then you get this new generation starts to spill in and they've never seen it before.

00:12:30.160 It's really nice to be able to bounce it off.

00:12:31.640 So you check in as a brand new guy.

00:12:33.080 And you've got your platoon chief with seven deployments.

00:12:35.520 And he's got his wife who's done nine total.

00:12:38.340 She's like, this is what it is.

00:12:39.760 He's never going to tell you what it's really like.

00:12:41.480 This is what it is.

00:12:42.460 You are on your own the entire time.

00:12:44.540 Did you ever meet Brian?

00:12:47.100 I didn't meet Brian, but I did.

00:12:49.380 Yeah.

00:12:49.640 Well, I've talked about that off camera.

00:12:50.800 Yeah.

00:12:51.020 I played a little prank on Brian.

00:12:53.220 You did play a prank on Brian.

00:12:55.240 Okay.

00:12:55.720 I think it's some apple with Brian.

00:12:57.600 Well, listen, thank you, MySpace, for the recon and the private investigative work you did.

00:13:03.420 Hey, what's going on, guys?

00:13:04.180 DJ Shipley and Cole Factor from GBRS Group.

00:13:06.140 Want to talk to you real quick about MNAC.

00:13:07.540 Retired Navy SEALs, entrepreneurs, and co-founders of GBRS Group.

00:13:11.900 Cover everything from flat range shooting, mental health, mental resiliency, physical education,

00:13:16.920 anything you guys really want to drop into.

00:13:19.080 Search us on MNAC.

00:13:19.820 Find us on there.

00:13:20.500 I'd love to connect with you guys.

00:13:21.820 Look forward to hearing from you.

00:13:23.020 Appreciate you guys.

00:13:23.760 We'll talk soon.

00:13:24.280 If you enjoyed this video, you want to watch more videos like this, click here.

00:13:27.360 And if you want to watch the entire podcast, click here.

Valuetainment - April 09, 2025

“MySpace Ruined DJ’s Marriage” – Navy SEALs REVEAL Cheating Scandals & Deployment Wife Drama

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript