Valuetainment - Rules of Mental Toughness

00:00:00.000 You know, there's a lot of things in life we can measure.

00:00:01.800 We can measure what kind of return your mutual fund made.

00:00:04.240 We can measure how tall you are.

00:00:05.800 We can measure what you weigh.

00:00:07.240 We can measure your closing percentage in sale.

00:00:09.840 But how do you measure mental and emotional toughness?

00:00:13.020 We're going to talk about that today.

00:00:19.200 So I have several points to go through with you, but let's start off with the first one.

00:00:22.160 You ever hear the saying before, never judge a book by its cover?

00:00:25.700 Well, never judge toughness by its cover.

00:00:29.100 Let me give you a personal story with my wife. 0.98

00:00:31.820 So my wife and I are in L.A., okay, we're about to have our first baby.

00:00:35.040 We hire a doula. 0.97

00:00:36.160 Doula comes in at our house, asks all these questions from my wife.

00:00:40.780 How do you want to have your baby?

00:00:41.880 You know, you want to do C-section.

00:00:43.540 How do you want to do?

00:00:44.100 She says, I want to have a natural baby.

00:00:46.100 She says, yeah, natural birth.

00:00:46.980 I get it.

00:00:47.440 You know, a lot of people, you know, want to do that.

00:00:49.280 But really, what if it doesn't go the way you want it?

00:00:51.680 And what?

00:00:52.080 She says, I want to have a natural birth.

00:00:54.400 She says, okay, well, what if?

00:00:55.600 You know, what if you're like, you know, because she says, no, I want to have that.

00:00:58.560 And I'm sitting there thinking to myself, what does natural really mean?

00:01:01.880 She says, do you want Pitocin?

00:01:03.720 No.

00:01:04.600 Do you want Epidaryl?

00:01:05.900 No.

00:01:06.640 Do you want anything to give into you?

00:01:08.400 No, I want to do it all natural.

00:01:10.000 You want to do it all natural?

00:01:10.980 I want to do it all natural.

00:01:12.400 In my mind, I'm sitting there as the man, right?

00:01:14.500 And I'm saying, I don't know about me.

00:01:16.320 If I had the choice, man, we're scheduling something at six o'clock, C-section.

00:01:19.600 You know what you're thinking.

00:01:21.180 You're like, okay, boom.

00:01:21.800 You look at my wife, quiet to herself.

00:01:25.780 When it came down to that Northridge hospital and she was going through it, guess what she

00:01:31.100 did?

00:01:31.820 Natural on the first one, natural on the second one, natural on the third one.

00:01:35.680 If you look at my wife, she doesn't say much.

00:01:38.400 She's quiet to herself.

00:01:40.060 You cannot judge toughness by what somebody looks like.

00:01:43.060 Never judge toughness by its cover.

00:01:44.620 Pain tolerance is one of the biggest factors of someone who can handle pressure because

00:01:52.340 the whole idea of pressure is there's pain.

00:01:55.920 That pain could be embarrassment.

00:01:57.720 That pain could be, I don't know if I can handle this.

00:02:00.280 That pain could be a lot of different things.

00:02:02.220 You know, Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, the difference between a hero and an average person

00:02:07.140 is that the hero goes five minutes longer, meaning the hero can handle the pain five minutes

00:02:13.320 longer than the other person.

00:02:14.620 When my wife had the baby, she said, when the pain hit me and I was like, there's no

00:02:19.760 way I can feel it's like a train.

00:02:21.280 She tells me the story.

00:02:22.320 I don't know what it means.

00:02:23.680 She says, I just had to hang in there for a few minutes longer and then it was over with.

00:02:27.640 That's pretty much what this means, right?

00:02:29.240 So that's one method of how to measure someone's toughness.

00:02:33.040 Here's the second one.

00:02:34.120 Preparation.

00:02:35.840 David Blaine, who is, what do you call David Blaine?

00:02:38.100 I don't know if you call him a magician.

00:02:39.460 You call him a lot of different things.

00:02:40.860 He's a performer.

00:02:41.580 However, David Blaine decides to play the game of, let me see how long I can hold my

00:02:47.120 breath underwater, right?

00:02:49.040 And one day he wants to go on the Oprah Winfrey show and on the Oprah Winfrey show, he wants

00:02:54.080 to break the record, the world record, right?

00:02:57.460 And he goes 17 minutes and four seconds holding his breath underwater.

00:03:02.660 What's the longest you've ever held your breath underwater?

00:03:04.900 I actually think about it and comment below.

00:03:06.600 What's the longest you've ever held your breath underwater?

00:03:08.400 I think about it myself, whenever I'm by a pool, I tell guys, hey, let's see who can

00:03:11.820 hold your breath underwater.

00:03:12.900 One guy goes in 30 seconds, 45 seconds a minute.

00:03:15.420 I remember we're in Cancun and one of our guys, Ricardo Lopez Nieves, held his breath

00:03:20.040 underwater, minute 30 seconds, and his son did it for a minute 20 seconds.

00:03:23.400 That's crazy.

00:03:24.460 Crystal Garcia did it for a minute, six seconds. 1.00

00:03:26.540 We were blown away by this.

00:03:27.880 How can you do this, right?

00:03:29.900 Well, he goes and he prepares for it because he goes to the doctor and says, when I'm underwater,

00:03:35.360 I want to know my body, okay?

00:03:38.160 At what point does my lung collapse?

00:03:41.120 At what point does my brain collapse because it needs oxygen?

00:03:44.620 He does research to prepare for the pain that's going to come, and then he goes and does it

00:03:50.500 publicly.

00:03:51.340 He goes underwater for 17 minutes and four seconds.

00:03:54.600 That is a method of preparation to know how to handle pressure.

00:03:58.560 The reason why I say handling pressure and having mental toughness with preparation is

00:04:03.160 because sometimes if you're going to be doing something and you just kind of put yourself

00:04:08.660 out there, say you're playing sports, say you're doing business, say you're about to

00:04:11.000 give a speech.

00:04:11.880 I remember one time I'm about to give a speech in front of 150 executives, and I really wanted

00:04:17.200 to make a statement.

00:04:19.200 I wanted people to leave and say, that guy gave the best message out of everybody.

00:04:22.120 The night before, one of the executives in Atlanta says, hey, let's go to the local joint,

00:04:27.700 you know, strip joint, all this other stuff.

00:04:29.640 I didn't go with him.

00:04:30.420 This is 04.

00:04:32.340 50 people go.

00:04:33.520 I said, I'm good, guys.

00:04:34.520 I stayed behind.

00:04:35.700 I role-played my speech till 3.30 in the morning.

00:04:38.780 I was giving it in the morning.

00:04:40.800 10 a.m.

00:04:41.200 I was the one that was speaking.

00:04:42.620 I gave my talk.

00:04:43.960 By the end of the day, everybody was saying, who was the best talk?

00:04:46.860 Patrick Bay-David gave the best talk.

00:04:48.180 But when I got up in front of these 150 executives that I wanted to make a statement at 25 years

00:04:53.080 old that I'm here to play, everybody walked away saying, holy moly, what happened?

00:04:57.120 I was not nervous because I did it so many times the night before in my Hyatt Hotel in

00:05:04.340 Duluth, Georgia, to go and present this to everybody.

00:05:08.780 Preparation has a lot to do with you knowing how to measure toughness.

00:05:12.640 Here's the next one for you.

00:05:14.360 Chadwick Boseman just died.

00:05:16.040 Okay, here's a man that did Jackie Robinson.

00:05:18.860 He did Black Panther.

00:05:20.680 The guy's a great speaker.

00:05:22.420 He had a story one time where he was getting a job, and he says, I don't want to do regular

00:05:26.280 roles, regular roles for African-American stories.

00:05:29.240 I don't want to do that.

00:05:30.020 I want to get people to be thinking in a different way.

00:05:32.260 Typically, when you do a role, you know, the role, kid wasn't raised without a father

00:05:37.020 figure.

00:05:37.400 Mom was a heroin addict.

00:05:38.420 He's saying to the student producer that I'm not willing to take this role.

00:05:41.900 And then he doesn't get the job.

00:05:44.000 You know, and he says, man, but I needed the money.

00:05:47.040 Maybe I should have done something else.

00:05:48.960 Right?

00:05:49.820 And then later on, he ends up doing two of the biggest movies, and he loses weight, and

00:05:53.620 they say, oh, he's preparing for a movie.

00:05:56.000 Guy had colon cancer.

00:05:57.060 None of us knew about it.

00:05:58.840 Let me get this straight.

00:05:59.860 He's had colon cancer for four years, and the world doesn't know about it.

00:06:02.880 Aren't we living in a time where you're supposed to expose all your problems at any given moment?

00:06:09.160 Aren't all these Huffington Post experts telling people, publicize your pain and share it with

00:06:15.740 the world?

00:06:16.880 Well, Chadwick Boseman says, no, it's none of your business.

00:06:19.540 It's my problem.

00:06:20.380 It's my pain.

00:06:21.320 Never use it as an excuse to not make those movies.

00:06:24.580 I watched both of them.

00:06:25.960 You never made that as an excuse to make Black Panther and to make Jackie Robbins and a bunch 0.68

00:06:31.660 of other things this guy did.

00:06:33.280 Never showed hurt.

00:06:36.040 One way you measure toughness is just look how much people show hurt.

00:06:41.200 Just look, the other day I was doing some interview with somebody, and the guy was asking me questions,

00:06:45.180 said, what do I need to do to get a promotion?

00:06:46.660 This was just last week.

00:06:47.760 I said, you know, I don't know if you are going to be here long term with us.

00:06:51.500 He says, why not?

00:06:52.160 I said, because every time I look at your face, it looks like the end of the world this

00:06:56.440 year.

00:06:57.200 You just don't look happy, and your attitude doesn't look good.

00:07:00.540 And you've been like this for a while, and we've asked you why, and you seem like, you

00:07:04.780 know, there's no problems, but you're always showing everything on your face.

00:07:09.740 Why would somebody want to be around somebody like that for too long?

00:07:12.860 And you want a promotion?

00:07:14.580 Attitude goes a long way.

00:07:16.300 So again, going back to this guy here, Chadwick Boseman, rest in peace, passes away.

00:07:21.220 Hey, four years has colon cancer, no one knows about it.

00:07:24.120 He goes to the doctor.

00:07:25.100 I mean, this doesn't mean he's not taking care of his body.

00:07:27.300 He's going to the doctor, but he doesn't advertise his pain.

00:07:30.240 Sometimes it's just good not to advertise your pain.

00:07:32.880 Sometimes it's good to not just tell the whole world what you're going through.

00:07:36.640 I'm not telling you don't talk about it with a group of people.

00:07:39.340 I'm not telling you have some private conversations with certain people.

00:07:42.300 I do believe in the ability to have some kind of a form of a release.

00:07:45.740 But the way people are doing it right now, posting everything on Instagram, all this

00:07:49.320 other stuff, what's the point behind it?

00:07:50.980 You need attention?

00:07:51.700 Is that what you need?

00:07:52.700 It's not necessarily mental toughness.

00:07:54.300 Mental toughness, people are not looking for attention.

00:07:57.040 Mental toughness, people are trying to get results.

00:07:58.840 A big difference.

00:07:59.480 Let me continue.

00:08:01.480 Next one.

00:08:02.880 You know, life is going to test you every freaking day.

00:08:06.480 Let me explain to you.

00:08:07.040 This is a very weird thing.

00:08:08.120 So you could have one week, the best week of your life.

00:08:10.820 Next week, something dramatic happens.

00:08:12.520 I don't know why life works this way.

00:08:13.800 It just does.

00:08:15.140 You can have one week, everything goes bad.

00:08:17.560 Next week, everything goes good and great.

00:08:19.720 That's how life is.

00:08:20.800 You're getting tested.

00:08:21.680 So sometimes when you're in it and you're going through challenging times, here's what

00:08:26.160 you think.

00:08:27.260 You think in the moment, you are the only person that's going through it.

00:08:30.700 It's a problem, by the way.

00:08:32.440 When I was going through, when I was in debt $49,000 and sat down with my dad, I said, I'm

00:08:37.260 in debt $49,000.

00:08:38.940 Life is tough.

00:08:39.860 I want you to bail me on.

00:08:40.880 He says, I'm going to give you the best lesson of your life.

00:08:44.000 I said, what's that?

00:08:44.640 He says, I'm not paying off your debt.

00:08:46.800 You got to figure out a way to pay it off.

00:08:48.240 I said, what kind of a debt are you?

00:08:49.960 I'm not paying off your debt.

00:08:51.340 I'll help you here and there, but I'm not paying off your $49,000 of debt.

00:08:55.020 You're going to figure out a way to pay it off and I hope you don't file bankruptcy because

00:08:58.160 at that point, all my friends were filing bankruptcy with the credit cards.

00:09:01.020 And it's just kind of like, let me have a fresh start because you're young.

00:09:03.660 You know what he did to me?

00:09:04.720 I couldn't stand it what he did to me.

00:09:06.120 But I was being tested at that time with my debt.

00:09:09.060 I was being tested at that time with my girlfriend, girl I love that didn't work out.

00:09:12.660 I was being tested at that time with my family.

00:09:15.060 I was being tested at that time with in every possible way.

00:09:18.700 And I went and parked outside of the army recruiting station about to get out of my Mitsubishi

00:09:24.800 eclipse 1990 red.

00:09:27.700 I was about to get out and get back in the military.

00:09:30.120 Now, what if in 1999, 2000, I got back in the military?

00:09:35.780 What if in 01, I just went back to the military and said, this is too hard.

00:09:39.360 I'm just going to go back in the army.

00:09:40.520 What if I did that?

00:09:41.820 What would I be today?

00:09:42.480 You wouldn't know who I am today if I would have gone back in the military.

00:09:45.100 But in that moment, I was being tested.

00:09:47.560 You're going to be tested in your marriage while you're running a career.

00:09:50.880 You're going to be tested with your family, with somebody passing away while you're chasing

00:09:55.020 your dreams.

00:09:56.140 Arnold was going to win Mr. Universe.

00:09:58.140 The day before, a few days before his father dies, he tells his mom, I can't make it to

00:10:03.040 the funeral because my dad, if he's watching over me, he wants me to pursue my dreams.

00:10:06.580 I'm going to win Mr. Universe.

00:10:07.800 He goes with Mr. Universe and the rest is history.

00:10:10.300 This doesn't mean he doesn't love his dad.

00:10:11.900 This means he's got a spiritual relationship with his dad.

00:10:14.000 I don't know what I do in this moment here.

00:10:16.100 He goes, he wins, Weider figures him out, becomes Mr. Olympia, you know, governor, all these

00:10:21.400 other things that he does.

00:10:22.320 In those moments of the decisions we make, when we're getting tested and you feel like

00:10:29.180 you're by yourself, those are moments where you're measuring your toughness.

00:10:33.300 Those are moments where you're being tested constantly.

00:10:35.920 Again, there's not a method to say you're 93% tough.

00:10:39.680 You're 71% tough.

00:10:41.400 We can't do that.

00:10:42.440 The only way we can measure toughness at the end of the day is with the results that

00:10:45.060 you end up getting.

00:10:45.840 It's really how you end up measuring toughness is by the results that you end up getting.

00:10:49.080 Let me continue.

00:10:49.640 Here's another one.

00:10:50.240 You ever hear people calling someone soft?

00:10:52.460 Oh, he's soft.

00:10:53.200 Oh, she's so soft. 0.57

00:10:54.420 What is soft?

00:10:55.440 I'm asking you.

00:10:56.220 What is soft?

00:10:57.200 You've heard that before.

00:10:58.520 Oh, he's soft.

00:10:59.700 He's a soft player.

00:11:01.220 He's soft in business.

00:11:02.880 He's soft.

00:11:03.920 I was interviewing Kobe, the late Kobe Bryant, and when he brought up Shaq and the whole video

00:11:08.360 and when he said, you know, Shaq would have practiced as hard as I would, we would have

00:11:12.320 won 12 championships.

00:11:13.480 It was all over the news everywhere.

00:11:14.960 You know, people were happy, not happy, all this stuff.

00:11:17.500 Shaq was not happy about it.

00:11:18.440 I'm blocked by Shaq till today, by the way. 0.99

00:11:20.600 Because of that, what a dumb question to ask.

00:11:23.160 He DM'd me and says, what a dumb question to ask about if I had his work ethic, right?

00:11:27.600 But you know the biggest compliment Kobe gave Shaq?

00:11:29.880 Here's the biggest compliment Kobe gave Shaq.

00:11:32.060 Kobe said, Shaq was big and mean. 0.98

00:11:35.740 He says Shaq wasn't one of these big guys that was soft.

00:11:39.220 He was big and mean.

00:11:40.260 He says, most big guys, you know, people don't push him around, but Shaq was big, mean, and

00:11:46.280 was willing to throw his weight around.

00:11:48.000 He wasn't soft.

00:11:49.660 He was tough, right?

00:11:51.500 Big difference.

00:11:52.920 How do you define soft?

00:11:54.820 Soft is someone that doesn't have a backbone.

00:11:57.440 Soft is someone when they're cornered and push come to shove, they quit.

00:12:01.840 Soft is someone that claims their values, but then when it comes down to tough things happen

00:12:07.520 in their lives, they compromise their values.

00:12:10.080 Soft is somebody that declares their intentions.

00:12:13.300 Here's what I'm going to do, world.

00:12:15.240 But then when it gets tough, they say, no, no, no.

00:12:17.580 I'm going to quit and take the easy way out.

00:12:19.340 That's how you define soft.

00:12:21.880 Call anybody anything but soft.

00:12:25.000 Do you understand, like, how bad of a thing it is to be called soft?

00:12:29.240 But a lot of people are soft.

00:12:30.920 I have them in my business.

00:12:32.160 I see them in my industry, there were many times in life where, in my mind, I was about

00:12:38.740 to choose the soft decision.

00:12:40.860 Many times in my life.

00:12:42.220 This whole Ralph Waldo Emerson concept about, you know, the only difference between a hero

00:12:45.900 and an average person is the fact that he can take the pain five minutes longer, that's

00:12:49.780 the thing.

00:12:50.460 So if you're watching this right now saying, how does that relate to me?

00:12:53.420 Ask yourself, how do you react when tough times show up?

00:12:56.640 How do you react when you're getting tested?

00:12:58.560 How do you react when you have your pain?

00:13:00.060 How do you do under pressure?

00:13:01.520 You, how do you do it?

00:13:03.100 And by the way, every single time you escape pressure and you say, well, the next time

00:13:07.660 it happens, I'm not going to run.

00:13:09.820 No, no, no.

00:13:10.280 That's not how this thing works.

00:13:11.800 Your memory remembers the last three, four times how you handled pressure.

00:13:15.820 Let me say this one more time.

00:13:17.100 Your memory remembers how you reacted under pressure the last three, four times.

00:13:21.080 And it just reacts to the same way you've been doing your entire life.

00:13:24.420 So if you say, well, this didn't work out.

00:13:25.920 I'm going to go to the next thing.

00:13:27.160 You're going to do the same thing again and again and again and again.

00:13:30.900 Because if you are willing to persevere and those are the people we read about and talk

00:13:34.920 about.

00:13:35.260 Now, a couple other things here to be thinking about when it comes down to this.

00:13:40.680 One night I come home.

00:13:44.120 I've been, I've been starting my company for a few months already, probably 11 months.

00:13:47.520 I come home.

00:13:48.180 We're pregnant.

00:13:48.840 My wife's pregnant. 1.00

00:13:49.560 We're expecting our first, it's exciting times.

00:13:51.300 And I come home.

00:13:51.880 My wife's in bed, tears, crying, miscarriage.

00:13:54.180 If you're right in, you've heard me tell this story before.

00:13:56.740 She had a miscarriage.

00:13:58.100 My checking account's down to $13,000.

00:14:00.280 That's not a lot of money when you're running a company.

00:14:02.240 I have nothing else outside of my $13,000.

00:14:04.960 I go outside.

00:14:06.220 I'm walking around.

00:14:08.880 I'm about to lose everything.

00:14:10.500 Two competitors came to my office that weekend.

00:14:12.480 They told me, how's it going to feel knowing when you lose everything and all of these people

00:14:16.980 followed you?

00:14:18.040 They failed because of you.

00:14:19.660 How's it going to feel?

00:14:20.620 That was my nightmare, by the way.

00:14:22.400 Think about that.

00:14:23.100 How's it going to feel knowing when everything goes down and you file BK and you lose everything

00:14:28.600 and all these people are scattered all over the place, you ruin their dreams because of

00:14:32.900 the decision you made.

00:14:34.100 How's that going to feel, huh?

00:14:35.740 How are you going to feel?

00:14:36.440 And they're trying to shake me.

00:14:39.120 One guy came into my office.

00:14:40.360 I'll never forget this guy.

00:14:42.080 Came into my office and he told this to my face.

00:14:44.780 And I said, who do you think you are?

00:14:46.760 I just got into it with him.

00:14:48.740 I said, you want to come here and tell this to my face on my turf, on my property?

00:14:52.200 Yeah.

00:14:53.100 It's not an easy meeting that I had with him.

00:14:54.920 I asked the guy to leave and walked him out to the car, told him off.

00:14:59.040 You know what's funny?

00:14:59.600 Nine years later, he called me and said, can I work for your insurance company?

00:15:02.520 Nine years later, he brought his license to me.

00:15:05.200 Same guy that said, I'm going to go out of business.

00:15:06.840 Nine years later, he came to me.

00:15:08.260 What happens when you say, I am not moving or shaking?

00:15:12.040 You're going to have to kill me to put me out of business.

00:15:14.500 There's a certain mindset to that, right?

00:15:17.100 You're going to have to kill me to put me out of business.

00:15:19.060 I don't know where this comes from, that walk that night.

00:15:21.940 I walked on, I'm praying, saying, I don't know, am I doing something wrong?

00:15:25.380 What am I doing?

00:15:26.180 What am I doing that's offending you?

00:15:27.720 If I'm doing something wrong, then do whatever you got to do to put me out of business.

00:15:31.360 But I'm going to fight it to the very end.

00:15:33.320 And the next, you know, next week, I get a check from AIG for $100,000 and everything

00:15:37.180 turns and we go from there.

00:15:38.240 This doesn't mean that tough times ain't going to show up again.

00:15:40.760 This doesn't mean you're not going to win some of these battles.

00:15:42.720 But it's not going to happen because of me giving up.

00:15:44.520 It's going to happen because I fully went out of business for whatever reasons.

00:15:48.580 I'm going to do my fight to the very end.

00:15:50.800 I ain't going to quit.

00:15:51.900 I'm going to do my fight.

00:15:52.720 That's the mindset.

00:15:54.140 Pain alone, there's nobody I could talk to at that time.

00:15:57.140 I can't talk to my dad because if I talked to my dad, my dad said, you chose to start

00:16:00.100 a business.

00:16:00.800 I can't talk to my wife because it's going to give her more fear and another miscarriage. 0.97

00:16:04.260 I can't talk to my sister.

00:16:05.480 I can't talk to my peers.

00:16:06.520 I can't talk to nobody.

00:16:07.740 I can't talk to anybody in the company about the anxiety and the pressures that I had at that time.

00:16:11.720 But sometimes you've got to do that as well when you're going through the business yourself.

00:16:14.660 So now, those are some of the ones that I talked about.

00:16:17.680 Let me add another one here that I think it's important to bring up in this session.

00:16:20.940 It's overreaction.

00:16:22.260 How do you measure toughness, you know, mental toughness?

00:16:26.720 Too often we overreact, okay?

00:16:29.300 Something happens.

00:16:30.100 You have a following up with a coworker or an employee or a client or this, this.

00:16:33.920 It's overreaction.

00:16:35.540 It's flight right off the bat, right?

00:16:37.700 It's immediate flight, right?

00:16:39.460 And in those moments, you have to ask yourself your track record.

00:16:44.800 As I'm going through all this stuff, I have a bunch of different notes.

00:16:48.220 I'm probably not going to go through all this stuff together with you, but I have a bunch of different notes.

00:16:52.040 There's going to be some of these things where you're going to sit there and say, that one relates to me, right?

00:16:57.140 This one relates to me.

00:16:58.520 Another element is being selfish.

00:16:59.960 Sometimes you just want to quit because it's too much pressure for you.

00:17:03.820 You know, I have some talented guys I've worked with over the years, and every time they quit or they stepped aside for six months or three months, they made the selfish decision.

00:17:12.740 And they would go about how it is good to be selfish at times.

00:17:16.220 But they hurt a lot of people every time they did that.

00:17:18.720 Why is that?

00:17:19.680 Because the decision was they didn't want embarrassment.

00:17:22.800 So the immediate thing was what?

00:17:23.980 Flight.

00:17:24.700 I understand that.

00:17:25.960 Believe me.

00:17:26.380 I know what it is to want to flight and not want to take all the responsibility because it's because of you that the team is losing.

00:17:33.300 You see this a lot in sports.

00:17:35.160 You see this a lot in business.

00:17:37.040 You see this a lot in a lot of different places.

00:17:39.200 It sucks.

00:17:40.660 Pressure sucks.

00:17:42.760 Being tested sucks.

00:17:44.920 There's nothing about it when you're in it that's exciting.

00:17:48.640 Nothing about it that's exciting when you're in it.

00:17:51.420 But there's a lot of great things about it when you come out of it.

00:17:55.240 But there's a lot of exciting things about it when you leave it.

00:17:58.660 And all of a sudden you're looking at victories taking place.

00:18:00.900 I can't describe that part to you.

00:18:02.180 So now when you're watching and say, Pat, so how do I build these things for myself?

00:18:07.300 How do I build these things for myself?

00:18:09.260 We're having a conversation the other day and I'm doing a conference call last Tuesday, a Zoom. 0.84

00:18:14.720 And I said, there is one thing I'm not good with.

00:18:18.600 Okay.

00:18:19.460 And they said, what is it?

00:18:20.560 I said, if there's ever one thing you should never do with me is one thing.

00:18:26.000 They said, what?

00:18:27.020 And I asked one of my executives, C-suite executive.

00:18:29.880 I said, Merle, can you tell everybody what that one thing is?

00:18:32.340 And she doesn't even know.

00:18:33.780 I haven't talked to her about it.

00:18:35.200 She says, never tell Pat your goals.

00:18:38.680 And everybody's like, why?

00:18:39.400 Because if you tell me your goals and what you want to do, I take it as you're serious

00:18:45.340 about your goals, not me.

00:18:47.520 Let me say that one more time.

00:18:49.220 You tell me, Pat, I want to do X, Y, Z.

00:18:54.260 Then I say, you're serious about it?

00:18:56.260 Absolutely.

00:18:57.060 Positive?

00:18:57.560 Yes.

00:18:58.460 Then I'm going to hold you to that.

00:19:01.260 Why'd you tell me?

00:19:02.120 You shouldn't have told me if you weren't serious about it.

00:19:03.920 But you told me I'm going to hold you to it.

00:19:06.220 Now I'm holding you to it.

00:19:07.160 What are you upset about?

00:19:08.040 You told me these were your goals.

00:19:10.500 Why are you not going after it?

00:19:12.120 You said these were your goals.

00:19:14.400 Well, you know, this is that, that, that.

00:19:15.960 Why'd you tell me these are your goals?

00:19:17.780 I take your word because I believe your word matters because I was raised by a father that

00:19:24.460 said, keep your word.

00:19:26.560 That's how I was raised.

00:19:28.740 So when you tell me your goals, I'm assuming you're determined to make those a reality.

00:19:33.080 So now you're watching and saying, what an annoying quality of a person to work with.

00:19:36.380 But I understand.

00:19:37.940 Believe me, I'm not disputing that.

00:19:39.920 I get it.

00:19:40.500 Yes, sure.

00:19:41.120 It's probably an annoying quality to be working with.

00:19:43.800 But it is a quality that gets results.

00:19:46.660 So moving forward, you want to build toughness?

00:19:49.980 You want to be known somebody that gets things done and you're not soft?

00:19:53.340 The next time you're going to say you're going to do something, do it.

00:19:57.660 The next time you're going to say you're going to do something, do it.

00:19:59.880 The next time you're in a pressure type situation where it sucks and you have the ability to

00:20:04.420 lose and be embarrassed, tolerate the pain a little longer.

00:20:08.680 Go a little longer.

00:20:09.940 The next time you're in a moment that you don't really like being in and it's embarrassing,

00:20:13.980 go a little longer.

00:20:15.640 Go a little longer.

00:20:16.520 The next time you're going through pressure type situations where you're being tested,

00:20:21.620 talk to yourself.

00:20:24.280 Actually talk to yourself and say, hey, didn't Ralph Waldo Emerson say the difference between

00:20:29.240 a hero and an average person is that you go five minutes longer?

00:20:31.680 I'm going to go five minutes longer.

00:20:33.240 How the hell did David Blaine go for 70 minutes and four seconds underwater on Oprah Winfrey's

00:20:37.120 show and he thought his lungs were going to collapse and his brain's going to be done?

00:20:41.440 How did he do it?

00:20:42.460 Our body can handle a lot of pain that we don't know about.

00:20:45.020 I'm going to push my body to that level.

00:20:47.640 I'm going to push it.

00:20:48.560 I'm going to push it and test my limits.

00:20:50.440 That's the beautiful part about life.

00:20:52.760 Let me test my limits and see what I got going on.

00:20:55.520 And then you're going to surprise yourself so many times.

00:20:58.040 You're going to win every single time, but you're going to surprise yourself so many times

00:21:01.800 while you go through this.

00:21:03.100 Having said that, having said that, if this video was a good video for you, got another

00:21:07.620 video I want you to watch.

00:21:08.760 How to make tough decisions.

00:21:10.120 If you've never seen this video, it's a video I made about a year ago.

00:21:12.680 Click over to watch it.

00:21:13.660 And if you've not subscribed to the channel, please do so.

00:21:16.320 Thanks for watching, everybody.

00:21:17.160 Take care.

00:21:17.660 Bye-bye.

Valuetainment - September 01, 2020

Rules of Mental Toughness

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