Valuetainment - March 29, 2021


The Genius of Great Communicators

Hosted by
Patrick Bet-David
Mentioned
Charlie Chaplin Ohica Castle
Understanding Porn Addiction & How to Escape it How to Identify a Running Mate as an Entrepreneur

Episode Stats


Length

6 minutes

Words per minute

208.1

Word count

1,299

Sentence count

114

Harmful content

Misogyny

1

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I talk about the difference between a good communicator and a good listener and how it all comes down to the way you look at someone and the way they look at you. You can be a great listener or a great communicator, depending on how you're looking at them.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 You ever wonder what makes a great communicator a great communicator like really when you walk
00:00:03.820 away and you say, no one's ever explained it to me that way before. I've never seen it that way
00:00:08.800 before. I've never had anybody paint the picture the way this person painted it to me before.
00:00:14.080 Now it makes sense, which leads to you taking action, whether it's to do nothing or to do
00:00:20.920 something. So let me unpack this for you. So hopefully this makes sense to you. When I go to
00:00:25.540 church or when I go to an event or when I watch somebody speak, I watch to see when they're
00:00:30.940 trying to make a point, how do they go about making their point? And the way I differentiate
00:00:35.640 is the following. Think about it this way. What is communication? I'm not even talking about like,
00:00:40.380 hey, somebody sells you real estate property or somebody sells you an insurance policy or a 401k
00:00:45.400 or a plan or you go out there and do your loan with them. I'm not even talking about that. I'm
00:00:50.140 talking about you're someone who smokes cigarettes. Okay. Your mom, your dad, your brother, your sister,
00:00:56.180 your best friends have tried to get you to stop smoking cigarettes. No one's, no one's done it
00:01:00.040 well. Then you meet somebody and this one person you sit down with explains to you smoking cigarettes
00:01:07.340 in a way no one's ever explained it to you before. And then you walk away and you say, huh, I got that.
00:01:13.380 You know, the other day, my son and I were sitting right here. We're having a conversation together
00:01:17.720 regarding an event that happened this past week in school. And I said, uh, you know, I was telling
00:01:23.540 about the whole situation, who I was when I was growing up as a kid. Everybody thought I was a
00:01:26.860 little quirky, a little weird, different than everybody else, et cetera, et cetera. I said,
00:01:30.480 listen, that totally is fine. Don't worry about that part. I said, but there are some things you
00:01:34.320 and I can work on. He says, what's that? I said, let's you and I work on communicating better
00:01:39.620 together. How about let's play a game? He says, what's that? I said, I want you to talk to me
00:01:45.140 and tell me how it feels when you talk to me. He says, okay, go ahead. I said, start asking me
00:01:51.100 questions. Just have a conversation with me. So he says that, how was your day? And I started kind
00:01:55.200 of looking around and not paying attention to him. And I was looking at the butterflies and the yacht
00:01:58.940 was coming by and he says, so what'd you do today? Good, good. Okay. So that, what do you want to eat
00:02:04.560 tonight? I'm just kind of looking around. And he's like, why aren't you looking at me? I said, exactly.
00:02:09.660 I said, let's try this one more time. I said, have the same conversation with me. She has a conversation
00:02:14.040 with me. So I just look at him like this. How was your day today? I had a great day today.
00:02:20.200 Phenomenal day. How was your day today? Good day today. I said, what else would you like to know?
00:02:25.140 What are we having tonight to eat, daddy? What do you want to have to eat tonight? And I stayed with
00:02:29.700 them like this. I said, how'd you feel the difference? He says, I like that more. I said,
00:02:34.200 now let's do it with you and I. He says, what's that? I'm going to talk. I want you to look at me in my
00:02:39.560 eyes when I'm talking to you. So I talked to him and he's just like, he's just looking at me, right?
00:02:45.700 And we're having this conversation together. And he looks at me and he looks at me and he looks at me.
00:02:51.660 I said, were you able to internalize everything I just said to you? Yes. Were you able to capture
00:02:57.880 more of what I said now versus when you look around and you're distracted? Yeah, daddy. I said,
00:03:03.080 just so you know, I was also the kid. If I saw, but like a minute ago, I was carrying my daughter here
00:03:07.460 and we saw a butterfly. I was lost. I chased a butterfly. So I understand what it is to be that
00:03:11.620 way. I said, you know what I learned about looking people in the eyes? He said, what? I said, I learn
00:03:16.960 more. I understand them more. And my relationship with them is typically better. And I said, more
00:03:22.220 importantly, you want to know something about girls? He says, what's that? Girls like it when you look 0.80
00:03:27.700 at them in the eyes because nobody else does it. Most guys are not good listeners. If you're a great
00:03:33.200 listener and you look at them in the eyes, that's not something they're used to. They're going to like
00:03:37.420 that. See, that's selling and communicating the message because, and I'm not going to tell you
00:03:43.160 the whole 30 minutes of what happened with it. A great communicator goes one level before, two level,
00:03:49.140 three level, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, all the way down. And then brings it back up to you
00:03:56.160 in layman's terms where you walk away saying, why have I been smoking cigarettes for 11 years?
00:04:01.540 I don't get it. Why do I keep dating the same people over and over again? I don't get it.
00:04:08.540 Why do I not save and invest my money? Man, how come I haven't read books all this time? I don't
00:04:14.340 understand it, right? So a challenge for you this week, as you're going about your business this week
00:04:22.400 with whatever you're doing, and it comes an opportunity to explain something to your wife,
00:04:27.300 to your husband, to your kids, to your mom, to your dad, to your siblings, to a customer,
00:04:33.900 to an employer, co-worker, go a little bit deeper in explaining yourself. Maybe they're going to walk
00:04:42.000 away saying, never thought about it this way before, dad. Bro, I never thought about it this way before.
00:04:50.620 Babe, I never thought about it this way before. I got to tell you, boss, I never thought about it this
00:04:55.780 way before. Man, you know, you and I have been friends for a long time. Dude, no one's ever
00:05:00.520 explained it to me this way before. And then you're going to walk away saying, you know what?
00:05:03.940 I think I made an impact because either this person is going to take action or they're not
00:05:07.980 going to take action. Hopefully this made sense to you on how, obviously I can go a couple hours
00:05:13.420 on this topic here, but I hope this made sense to you on what makes a great communicator,
00:05:19.820 a great communicator, skill set that will benefit you in every aspect of your life if you commit to
00:05:25.740 improving. And by the way, I did a video years ago that has to do somewhat with this. You may say,
00:05:33.620 Pat, I don't know if that has anything to do with this. Just believe me, it has to do with this
00:05:37.880 because the willingness to want to learn, you have to have an element of being childlike. It's a video
00:05:43.540 I did once in a room in New York, Ohica Castle. The room was called the Charlie Chaplin room. Okay,
00:05:50.080 it's a beautiful room. If you've never seen this video before, how to think and be childlike like
00:05:56.120 Charlie Chaplin, click over here to watch the video. Some tells me if you took away something
00:06:02.300 from this video, you're definitely going to take a lot away from that video as well. Take care,
00:06:07.480 everybody. Bye-bye, bye-bye.
00:06:13.540 Bye-bye.