The Price Of Winning & Why Its Worth It
Episode Stats
Words per minute
231.80174
Summary
Kobe Bryant's daughter asks him why he doesn't spend more time with her. He explains why it's more important to pursue his dreams than to spend time with his wife, kids, family, friends, etc.
Transcript
00:00:02.600
Tim Grover is the trainer of Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan.
00:00:05.760
He wrote a book called Relentless, and his book is coming out, Winning, and he did his
00:00:09.240
first live interview with me here in Boca Raton, and we're sitting down talking, and
00:00:14.760
one of the chapters in his book, page 103, by the way, we've got to get his book, but
00:00:18.000
one of the chapters, page 103, he talks about how winning is selfish.
00:00:28.320
And he tells the story, he says, one day, he's packing his bags, he's getting ready
00:00:34.380
He's packing all this stuff, and he's getting ready to go.
00:00:37.000
And his five-year-old daughter looks at him and says, Daddy, where are you going?
00:00:43.440
And the five-year-old daughter at the time says, why do you have to travel so much?
00:00:48.260
And Tim says, I have to travel a lot because Daddy travels so I can take care of you, Mommy,
00:00:57.320
And he says his five-year-old daughter takes a break, looks away, and then she comes back
00:01:02.560
And he says, when I heard these words, he says, it's the most difficult words I've ever
00:01:10.000
I'm prefacing what he's saying, but that's pretty much what he's talking about with the
00:01:15.320
Daughter looks at Tim and says, hey, Daddy, if I eat less, will you stay home more?
00:01:25.680
She said, if I eat less, will you stay home more?
00:01:29.960
Because she's trying to say, what if I eat less so you can stay with me more often?
00:01:35.060
I asked him this question, and I'm reading his book.
00:01:41.240
You'll see it in the interview when he comes out on May 19th.
00:01:46.240
I got a four-year-old daughter, soon to be five in the next few weeks.
00:01:50.460
I got a nine-year-old, and I got a seven-year-old, right?
00:01:58.620
He said, but I packed the bags, and I still went on the road, because I was traveling with
00:02:03.200
That's what he was doing, constantly being with Michael all the time, right?
00:02:10.620
I said, hey, I want to explain to you why I did what I did.
00:02:12.820
And the daughter says, you don't have to explain to me, Daddy.
00:02:20.760
He says, the daughter says, I'm pursuing my dreams now.
00:02:23.280
And if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have had that example.
00:02:29.360
How many of us hit the wall when we get to a point where our daughter or son or somebody
00:02:35.580
doesn't even know they're doing what they're doing?
00:02:37.200
They give you that guilt, and you're like, I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing.
00:02:41.860
I said, you know, we're talking about Kobe and Michael Jordan here.
00:02:45.080
I said, the guilt concept, feeling bad because your kids or your parents or your wife or
00:02:49.660
your husband or somebody, is that a decision somebody else can sell you on?
00:02:53.800
Like meaning, can I sell you on, stop feeling guilty.
00:03:03.600
I've never tried to convince somebody to spend less time with their wife or their kids or anything.
00:03:10.920
We went to Louis Bassey, and we were eating there.
00:03:12.920
It was myself, himself, and Shuri, and we had a great time.
00:03:19.640
And I said, I want to tell you a story about my dad.
00:03:24.360
I said, when I first had my son, Patrick Tico, he was six months old or something like that,
00:03:30.840
I said, Dad, you know, when I was living in Iran with you, you would travel, you would
00:03:35.860
work six days out of the week, and you would leave 5 a.m. in the morning, and you'd come
00:03:39.560
home at 8.30, and you expected us to be in bed by 8 o'clock because of your standards,
00:03:46.360
And Iran Friday was a Saturday or Sunday of here.
00:03:49.360
I said, and on Sundays, you were an early bird, you'd wake us up at 6, we'd go to Parq
00:03:54.040
Esha and Shahi, then we'd go to church, a Syrian church, then we'd go to grandma's
00:03:58.040
house, eat her food, then we'd come back home, you'd take a two-hour nap, you'd listen to
00:04:01.980
your music with the headphones you would put on with the old music he would listen to,
00:04:06.040
then he would come back, have dinner, watch a movie, and then we'd go to sleep, right?
00:04:09.560
I said, when I calculate the days you spend with us in 10 years that we lived in Iran together
00:04:14.840
when you and mom were still together, it's 52 days a year times 10, 520 days out of 3,650
00:04:23.900
You had 3,650 days in 10 years, but you only saw us 520 days.
00:04:36.000
Like, I'm 33 years old and I'm asking him this question.
00:04:40.020
I said, Dad, don't tell me this because you're protecting your ego.
00:04:44.640
Like you wish you would have worked less to spend more time with us?
00:04:58.380
Isn't my job as a father to teach you and raise you to be strong so you can be independent
00:05:03.560
Meaning you can stand on your own two feet and you can go out there and take your own family
00:05:14.940
He says, I enjoyed every minute I had with you guys.
00:05:19.440
I said, that's very good to hear because as a man now that I'm getting through the next
00:05:26.020
But I said, I want to say something to you as well.
00:05:29.220
I said, it's crazy that I'm 33 thinking about this.
00:05:36.420
I said, I'm 33 sitting here thinking about this with you and I also don't have any regrets
00:05:46.280
I said, I saw other dads that weren't workers and sometimes they didn't have money and they
00:05:54.880
How lucky I am to have a father that provided for me.
00:05:57.320
I said, I wanted you to know from me that I also have no guilt for you.
00:06:02.240
You're the best thing that ever happened to me as a father.
00:06:10.820
And my dad and I have a very good relationship.
00:06:13.560
So let me wrap this up so you kind of get the idea with the point.
00:06:17.120
So Tim says, Pat, you know why I didn't feel guilty?
00:06:20.320
He says, if you're away from your family or you're at a bar getting drunk, you're a bad
00:06:25.320
if you're doing that because you don't have moral authority.
00:06:28.400
Why would you not spend time with your kids over drinking and going to a bar?
00:06:32.280
Why would you not want to be there instead of going and hanging out and just doing other
00:06:35.640
Why wouldn't you want to spend more time with your kids, right?
00:06:39.920
The point he's trying to make is the fact that, hey, you have options.
00:06:44.700
He said, but if you're away from your kids, you better make it count and you better win.
00:06:52.880
They'll forgive you, if you use that time to win.
00:06:58.900
This is why Michael's kids, this is why anybody that lives and performs at the highest level,
00:07:04.600
at least the kids sit there and say, even though Daddy was away, even though Mommy was
00:07:07.760
away, at least he or she used that time wisely to win.
00:07:12.140
Then when there's experiences, you remind them, look where we are.
00:07:15.060
This is because Mommy and Daddy worked very hard.
00:07:16.800
So I was going through this, I know I did a video a few weeks ago about guilt, and I think
00:07:21.320
it's a topic that a lot of entrepreneurs and executives struggle with.
00:07:23.940
I wanted to kind of share with you what happened today because this was something that I shared
00:07:28.100
I've been sharing this story because it's an incredible part of the book that I think everybody
00:07:32.200
And hopefully it makes kind of an impact for you as it did for me.
00:07:36.520
Because I do know, as an entrepreneur, executive-driven person, at one point, you're going to hit
00:07:47.920
I can tell you what to do, but at the end of the day, you have to make that decision yourself.
00:07:53.220
I made my choice to go after my vision because long term, I'd like to be able to set up a position
00:07:59.900
where these kids are in business with me in many, many different ways.
00:08:02.760
They don't have to do the same thing, all three of them, but I'd like long term for our family
00:08:07.080
to be closer simply because of the decisions Daddy's making today.
00:08:11.560
So having said that, look, I think to the right person, this is a video that can probably
00:08:14.320
impact your life and start thinking about some of the bigger decisions you need to make
00:08:18.000
But if you didn't see my first interview with Tim Grover, the author of Relentless and a
00:08:22.820
newest book coming out called Winning, click over here to watch the interview.
00:08:26.800
I have a feeling you're going to take a lot away from this interview.