Valuetainment - The Price Of Winning & Why Its Worth It

00:00:00.080 Something very emotional happened today.

00:00:01.600 Tim Grover was in town.

00:00:02.600 Tim Grover is the trainer of Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan.

00:00:04.760 He was on The Last Dance.

00:00:05.760 He wrote a book called Relentless, and his book is coming out, Winning, and he did his

00:00:09.240 first live interview with me here in Boca Raton, and we're sitting down talking, and

00:00:14.760 one of the chapters in his book, page 103, by the way, we've got to get his book, but

00:00:18.000 one of the chapters, page 103, he talks about how winning is selfish.

00:00:24.360 There is no such thing as balance in winning.

00:00:26.440 It just doesn't exist.

00:00:28.320 And he tells the story, he says, one day, he's packing his bags, he's getting ready

00:00:32.440 to go on the road, and he's traveling, right?

00:00:34.380 He's packing all this stuff, and he's getting ready to go.

00:00:37.000 And his five-year-old daughter looks at him and says, Daddy, where are you going?

00:00:40.680 He says, Daddy's traveling.

00:00:43.440 And the five-year-old daughter at the time says, why do you have to travel so much?

00:00:48.260 And Tim says, I have to travel a lot because Daddy travels so I can take care of you, Mommy,

00:00:55.820 so I can put food on the table.

00:00:57.320 And he says his five-year-old daughter takes a break, looks away, and then she comes back

00:01:01.560 and looks at his daddy.

00:01:02.560 And he says, when I heard these words, he says, it's the most difficult words I've ever

00:01:07.640 heard in my entire life.

00:01:08.640 That's what he says in his book.

00:01:10.000 I'm prefacing what he's saying, but that's pretty much what he's talking about with the

00:01:12.380 statement that she made to him.

00:01:15.320 Daughter looks at Tim and says, hey, Daddy, if I eat less, will you stay home more?

00:01:24.000 Did you hear what I just said?

00:01:25.680 She said, if I eat less, will you stay home more?

00:01:29.960 Because she's trying to say, what if I eat less so you can stay with me more often?

00:01:35.060 I asked him this question, and I'm reading his book.

00:01:39.680 Tim is sitting right in front of me.

00:01:41.240 You'll see it in the interview when he comes out on May 19th.

00:01:44.240 He's emotional.

00:01:45.240 I'm emotional.

00:01:46.240 I got a four-year-old daughter, soon to be five in the next few weeks.

00:01:50.460 I got a nine-year-old, and I got a seven-year-old, right?

00:01:53.120 And these are my kids.

00:01:54.120 I love these guys.

00:01:55.120 I said, how did you handle that?

00:01:56.120 He says, it wasn't easy.

00:01:57.120 He says, I thought about it all day long.

00:01:58.620 He said, but I packed the bags, and I still went on the road, because I was traveling with

00:02:02.040 Michael for 15 years.

00:02:03.200 That's what he was doing, constantly being with Michael all the time, right?

00:02:05.480 He's traveling.

00:02:06.480 He says, all I thought about is her.

00:02:09.000 He says, years later, I asked her.

00:02:10.620 I said, hey, I want to explain to you why I did what I did.

00:02:12.820 And the daughter says, you don't have to explain to me, Daddy.

00:02:15.320 I know exactly why you did what you did.

00:02:17.040 It's because you're going after your dreams.

00:02:18.760 You're going doing this.

00:02:19.760 You're doing that.

00:02:20.760 He says, the daughter says, I'm pursuing my dreams now.

00:02:23.280 And if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have had that example.

00:02:26.040 So I said, how do you process this?

00:02:29.360 How many of us hit the wall when we get to a point where our daughter or son or somebody

00:02:35.580 doesn't even know they're doing what they're doing?

00:02:37.200 They give you that guilt, and you're like, I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing.

00:02:40.860 So then I went a little bit deeper.

00:02:41.860 I said, you know, we're talking about Kobe and Michael Jordan here.

00:02:44.080 He says, yes.

00:02:45.080 I said, the guilt concept, feeling bad because your kids or your parents or your wife or

00:02:49.660 your husband or somebody, is that a decision somebody else can sell you on?

00:02:53.800 Like meaning, can I sell you on, stop feeling guilty.

00:02:56.520 You shouldn't feel guilty.

00:02:57.600 You should.

00:02:58.600 You ought to go after your dreams.

00:03:00.560 He said, no.

00:03:01.600 It's a decision only you can make.

00:03:02.600 I said, I agree.

00:03:03.600 I've never tried to convince somebody to spend less time with their wife or their kids or anything.

00:03:08.060 It's more a decision you've got to make.

00:03:09.740 So I said, let me tell you a story.

00:03:10.920 We went to Louis Bassey, and we were eating there.

00:03:12.920 It was myself, himself, and Shuri, and we had a great time.

00:03:15.500 One of the best lunches we ever had.

00:03:17.920 We had a very good connection together.

00:03:19.640 And I said, I want to tell you a story about my dad.

00:03:22.640 He says, yeah, what's that?

00:03:24.360 I said, when I first had my son, Patrick Tico, he was six months old or something like that,

00:03:29.840 and I went to my dad.

00:03:30.840 I said, Dad, you know, when I was living in Iran with you, you would travel, you would

00:03:35.860 work six days out of the week, and you would leave 5 a.m. in the morning, and you'd come

00:03:39.560 home at 8.30, and you expected us to be in bed by 8 o'clock because of your standards,

00:03:44.480 so we wouldn't see you but Fridays.

00:03:46.360 And Iran Friday was a Saturday or Sunday of here.

00:03:49.360 I said, and on Sundays, you were an early bird, you'd wake us up at 6, we'd go to Parq

00:03:54.040 Esha and Shahi, then we'd go to church, a Syrian church, then we'd go to grandma's

00:03:58.040 house, eat her food, then we'd come back home, you'd take a two-hour nap, you'd listen to

00:04:01.980 your music with the headphones you would put on with the old music he would listen to,

00:04:06.040 then he would come back, have dinner, watch a movie, and then we'd go to sleep, right?

00:04:09.560 I said, when I calculate the days you spend with us in 10 years that we lived in Iran together

00:04:14.840 when you and mom were still together, it's 52 days a year times 10, 520 days out of 3,650

00:04:22.800 days.

00:04:23.900 You had 3,650 days in 10 years, but you only saw us 520 days.

00:04:29.800 Did it bother you?

00:04:30.800 Do you ever regret that as a father?

00:04:34.000 Without any hesitation.

00:04:35.000 I don't know what he's going to tell me.

00:04:36.000 Like, I'm 33 years old and I'm asking him this question.

00:04:38.020 No hesitation.

00:04:39.020 He says, no regrets.

00:04:40.020 I said, Dad, don't tell me this because you're protecting your ego.

00:04:43.000 Do you feel like you regret any of it?

00:04:44.640 Like you wish you would have worked less to spend more time with us?

00:04:46.820 He says, zero.

00:04:47.820 I said, come on, Dad.

00:04:49.920 You can't tell me that.

00:04:50.920 He says, I'm telling you, zero.

00:04:53.040 So now he's getting past it.

00:04:54.040 I said, why?

00:04:56.140 He says, what is my job as a father?

00:04:58.380 Isn't my job as a father to teach you and raise you to be strong so you can be independent

00:05:01.840 without having to rely on anybody else?

00:05:03.560 Meaning you can stand on your own two feet and you can go out there and take your own family

00:05:06.180 and take care of it.

00:05:07.180 Isn't that the job of a father?

00:05:08.180 He goes, how are you doing?

00:05:09.180 I said, I'm independent.

00:05:10.180 He said, then I did my job right.

00:05:12.180 He says, I don't regret any of it.

00:05:14.940 He says, I enjoyed every minute I had with you guys.

00:05:16.900 I had so much fun with you and Paulette.

00:05:19.440 I said, that's very good to hear because as a man now that I'm getting through the next

00:05:23.840 phase, I like hearing that from my own father.

00:05:26.020 But I said, I want to say something to you as well.

00:05:27.580 He says, what's that?

00:05:29.220 I said, it's crazy that I'm 33 thinking about this.

00:05:33.100 I'm 42 now when I talked to him about this.

00:05:35.300 I was 33.

00:05:36.420 I said, I'm 33 sitting here thinking about this with you and I also don't have any regrets

00:05:41.560 that you weren't there.

00:05:42.560 He says, what do you mean?

00:05:43.560 I said, to me, it was the normal thing.

00:05:45.320 Everybody in Iran, you're working.

00:05:46.280 I said, I saw other dads that weren't workers and sometimes they didn't have money and they

00:05:50.120 were going through challenges.

00:05:51.380 My daddy worked his ass off to provide.

00:05:54.880 How lucky I am to have a father that provided for me.

00:05:57.320 I said, I wanted you to know from me that I also have no guilt for you.

00:06:02.240 You're the best thing that ever happened to me as a father.

00:06:04.120 I love you and I appreciate your example.

00:06:06.500 We had a very unique moment together, right?

00:06:08.820 I got kids.

00:06:09.820 I'm kind of going through it.

00:06:10.820 And my dad and I have a very good relationship.

00:06:13.560 So let me wrap this up so you kind of get the idea with the point.

00:06:17.120 So Tim says, Pat, you know why I didn't feel guilty?

00:06:19.320 He says, what?

00:06:20.320 He says, if you're away from your family or you're at a bar getting drunk, you're a bad

00:06:25.320 if you're doing that because you don't have moral authority.

00:06:28.400 Why would you not spend time with your kids over drinking and going to a bar?

00:06:32.280 Why would you not want to be there instead of going and hanging out and just doing other

00:06:34.800 kind of stuff?

00:06:35.640 Why wouldn't you want to spend more time with your kids, right?

00:06:38.920 He didn't say you're a bad dad.

00:06:39.920 The point he's trying to make is the fact that, hey, you have options.

00:06:42.300 Why not go and spend time more with your kids?

00:06:44.700 He said, but if you're away from your kids, you better make it count and you better win.

00:06:50.560 That is the only way they're forgiven.

00:06:52.880 They'll forgive you, if you use that time to win.

00:06:56.200 This is why Kobe's kids loved him.

00:06:58.900 This is why Michael's kids, this is why anybody that lives and performs at the highest level,

00:07:04.600 at least the kids sit there and say, even though Daddy was away, even though Mommy was

00:07:07.760 away, at least he or she used that time wisely to win.

00:07:12.140 Then when there's experiences, you remind them, look where we are.

00:07:15.060 This is because Mommy and Daddy worked very hard.

00:07:16.800 So I was going through this, I know I did a video a few weeks ago about guilt, and I think

00:07:21.320 it's a topic that a lot of entrepreneurs and executives struggle with.

00:07:23.940 I wanted to kind of share with you what happened today because this was something that I shared

00:07:27.100 with you all day today.

00:07:28.100 I've been sharing this story because it's an incredible part of the book that I think everybody

00:07:30.920 needs to read about.

00:07:32.200 And hopefully it makes kind of an impact for you as it did for me.

00:07:36.520 Because I do know, as an entrepreneur, executive-driven person, at one point, you're going to hit

00:07:42.740 that wall where that guilt's going to be felt.

00:07:45.780 And anybody and everybody can give you advice.

00:07:47.920 I can tell you what to do, but at the end of the day, you have to make that decision yourself.

00:07:53.220 I made my choice to go after my vision because long term, I'd like to be able to set up a position

00:07:59.900 where these kids are in business with me in many, many different ways.

00:08:02.760 They don't have to do the same thing, all three of them, but I'd like long term for our family

00:08:07.080 to be closer simply because of the decisions Daddy's making today.

00:08:11.560 So having said that, look, I think to the right person, this is a video that can probably

00:08:14.320 impact your life and start thinking about some of the bigger decisions you need to make

00:08:17.000 in your life.

00:08:18.000 But if you didn't see my first interview with Tim Grover, the author of Relentless and a

00:08:22.820 newest book coming out called Winning, click over here to watch the interview.

00:08:26.800 I have a feeling you're going to take a lot away from this interview.

00:08:31.060 Take care, everybody.

00:08:33.060 Bye-bye.

Valuetainment - May 03, 2021

The Price Of Winning & Why Its Worth It

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