Valuetainment - The Rise Of Weak Men - Breaking Down Toxic Masculinity In America Today

00:00:00.000 What is it to be a man's man today? I mean, I grew up wanting to be a man's man. That's what

00:00:04.360 you wanted to be, but today it's toxic masculinity, right? You're hearing it everywhere. People are

00:00:08.460 being canceled for being a man's man. But the reality of it is 1944, a man's man was storming

00:00:15.040 the beaches of Normandy and they knew most of them were going to lose their lives, but they're

00:00:18.900 like, nope, I'm doing this because this is what men are supposed to do. Today, people are storming

00:00:24.320 the beaches of their couch to play Call of Duty. 40, 50 years ago without social media, we had to

00:00:28.780 go learn how to pick up girls and flirt and have lines and be rejected. Today, you just

00:00:33.340 got to swipe right. Years ago, you had to learn how to hunt to get your food. Today, you just

00:00:37.720 call Uber Eats. Lots changed. Are men becoming pansies? Are they becoming soft? Are we becoming 0.69

00:00:43.820 passive? Like, oh my gosh, betas? Is that what's happening? I got a bunch of data I want to talk

00:00:48.740 to you about that has to do with what we bench pressed 30 years ago versus today. Squat, you

00:00:52.940 know, our grip strength, bunch of different things that are influencing men to become softer.

00:00:56.840 And for some of you that are watching this, that completely disagree with my message,

00:01:01.720 I would love to have you watch this message and post your commentary below at the end

00:01:06.000 of the video.

00:01:13.840 Stick around to the very end. I got a quiz for you to take to know exactly what you're driven

00:01:17.420 by. But it's important for us to look at some of the data to know if this is just gibberish

00:01:22.680 or how are men really viewed and what kind of a life men live today. Before we get into

00:01:27.600 it, I just want to give you some stats on is there any relevance in men really struggling

00:01:31.940 today? Like they can't find themselves. Are they really becoming softer or not? Scott Galloway

00:01:37.460 wrote an article. The title was, the most dangerous person in the world is a young man who's broke

00:01:44.200 and alone. Let me read some of the statistics that he has in this article. Men are more likely 0.96

00:01:48.640 to use almost all types of illicit drugs at a higher rate than women, thus their higher 1.00

00:01:52.620 prevalence of emergency room visits and inpatient substance abuse treatment. 93% of prison inmates

00:01:58.360 are male, as are 98% of all death row inmates. Men are dramatically more likely to be homeless

00:02:04.460 and for longer periods of time. Men now account for 41% of college enrollment, down from 60% in 1970.

00:02:14.200 Men are twice as likely to overdose, three and a half times more likely to commit suicide,

00:02:18.040 and more than nine times more likely to be incarcerated. A recent study revealed that nine

00:02:24.400 out of 10 mass violent attackers were male, and more than two thirds of them were under

00:02:28.800 the age of 35. Once again, the most dangerous person in the world is a broke and alone young

00:02:34.380 male. Scott Galloway recommends three things. Start making money. We are living in a capitalist

00:02:38.700 society. Get super strong. You want to be fit. You want to lift heavy weights and run long distances

00:02:43.340 in your mind and in the gym. And last but not least, get out there. Commit to meeting people.

00:02:47.320 And quite frankly, try having sex. So interesting three points he makes, right? Start making money 0.98

00:02:51.680 today. Get super strong and finally get out there and commit to meeting people. But are

00:02:54.800 we not stronger today than we were before? Let's take a look at some data to see if men are stronger

00:03:00.180 today than maybe 20 or 30 years ago. There's three things I want to look at. I want to look

00:03:03.660 at our bench press to before, squat, as well as your grip strength. They say your grip strength

00:03:08.520 is a strong predicator of mortality in later life. So are we stronger today or before? Here's

00:03:14.820 what the numbers tell us. So they surveyed 1800 lifters ages 20 to 39 to see what the average

00:03:19.920 bench press was 30 years ago versus today. And here's what they came up with. What the

00:03:23.580 average man could bench press 30 years ago versus today. 30 years ago was 240 pounds versus

00:03:27.880 today 187 pounds. Squat was 277 versus today 225. So when you look at this data, how do you

00:03:35.000 process it? Grip strength, bench, squat, like why are we looking at this data? Maybe, just maybe,

00:03:40.720 they're trying to get women to become stronger and men to become weaker. Maybe, maybe I'm wrong.

00:03:46.720 I will tell you at our vault conference, we have with a couple thousand people there,

00:03:50.320 business owners, entrepreneurs. I challenged everybody to go do a certain questionnaire the

00:03:54.480 first night and the next day come and share their breakthrough with everybody. While I'm going

00:03:58.520 through everyone, a lady sitting right here, like seven rows right there. She gets up and she says, 0.95

00:04:05.240 Patrick, I have to tell you my breakthrough last night. I said, what is it? She said,

00:04:09.520 for the last 20 years, all I've been trying to do is compete against men to prove that I can make

00:04:15.000 as much money as they make. I'm strong. I don't need them. I'm independent. I run a very successful

00:04:20.880 salon. I do very well for myself. Everybody that works with me makes great money. I'm very, very,

00:04:25.920 you know, successful right now to my friends, to my peers. I said, okay, and where are you going with

00:04:30.700 us? What's wrong with that? She said, the breakthrough I have yesterday is men are not 0.74

00:04:36.560 the enemy. I want a husband. I want to get married. I want to have a family. How interesting

00:04:43.820 is that, right? The person she wanted to beat the entire time. Now she wants to marry. How many

00:04:50.560 endless videos can we see with women in their sixties who bought into the feminist movement to make men 0.98

00:04:56.600 and women equal are sitting there saying, I regret making that decision because I'm single,

00:05:03.100 never been married, don't have any kids and I'm alone. And I wish I would have married men. I wish

00:05:08.680 I would have had kids because I wouldn't have been alone today. Next point is a lack of male role models 0.98

00:05:15.800 in a boy's life or man's life. So if you look at some data here in 2019, some 15 million children in

00:05:23.260 the United States were living with a single mother. That's about five times more than those living with

00:05:28.580 a single father. As divorce rates rise and family courts continue to favor mothers, the amount of

00:05:34.860 boys living without a dad will continue to grow. So why is this so important? Well, there are certain

00:05:40.080 things I can tell my boys that my wife can't tell them, period. I can go tell my boys, we're going

00:05:45.500 outside and we're playing. They have to listen to it. I can go tell my boys, you have to read 20 pages a

00:05:49.900 day. They may tell mom, mom, I'm good. I don't need to read today. I don't need to do this.

00:05:53.260 I don't need to do that. There is just certain things my dad could have told me that my mom

00:05:57.000 couldn't tell me. There's a very, very big value that men have in a boy's life. But the more divorces

00:06:02.880 we get and the more fatherless homes that we have, men don't know what it is to be a man's man.

00:06:08.280 Matter of fact, let's look at a complete different angle. Most kids who go to school,

00:06:12.260 most teachers are women. Most teachers are not men. So just recently have my kids watch Captain,

00:06:17.020 the documentary about Derek Jeter. And there's a scene in this documentary where Derek Jeter is drafted

00:06:21.320 by the Yankees. His dream becomes a reality. Always wanted to be a shortstop for them because

00:06:24.960 his dad was a shortstop. He goes, but he's not doing well. He's making errors. He's making mistakes.

00:06:31.420 He's doing all this stuff and he's having anxiety attacks. He's depressed almost. And he makes a

00:06:36.780 phone call to his house. Mom's talking to Derek and mom says, son, why don't you just come home?

00:06:43.400 The father says, when I heard my wife saying this to Jeter, he says, I told her, don't tell him that.

00:06:48.680 He can't know that's an option. So now let's replay this. Say the father's not in a picture.

00:06:55.140 Say the mom's able to convince Derek Jeter to come home because no mother wants to see their son

00:06:58.800 suffer. And she's witnessing her son Derek suffer. But the father says, that's what builds character.

00:07:05.800 Let him go through it. If that doesn't happen, you don't have a five-time world series champion,

00:07:10.780 few hundred million dollars, one of the greatest Yankees of all time, 3,400 hits. If that simple call by

00:07:16.220 the father wasn't made, you and I may not know who Derek Jeter is. So what's the point here?

00:07:20.840 So maybe men today need stronger role models to challenge them and to show them it is okay to go

00:07:28.940 through challenges. It is okay to have to fight through. This is a part of becoming a man's man

00:07:34.720 and it's natural. Next point is the walking on eggshells society that we're living in today.

00:07:39.240 And what do I mean by walking on eggshells? People are afraid of offending today. Okay. So when you're

00:07:44.660 afraid of offending, you don't want to share your opinion. And the way people learn who you really

00:07:49.320 are is by sharing your opinion and feelings about different issues. Now in our family, I talk about

00:07:54.560 four things with my boys. We lead, we respect, we improve, we love. Respect. Let's talk about that.

00:07:59.140 If you constantly spend your life disrespecting people, you're eventually going to be alone and

00:08:05.000 not successful in business because it doesn't work out if you want to disrespect everybody. People are not

00:08:10.460 going to stick around in a work environment if you're disrespecting them. People are not going to be with

00:08:14.080 you friendship wise if you're constantly disrespecting them and judging them. And quite

00:08:18.220 frankly, you're going to be by yourself. Now offending is a different story. Today, they're

00:08:24.140 trying very, very hard to cause men to be careful with their thoughts on what they say. And God forbid

00:08:31.300 you say something that's going to offend somebody, you're walking on eggshells. I don't know many

00:08:35.280 leaders that I call leaders who walk on eggshells that are not comfortable sharing their thoughts

00:08:41.680 on different issues. They share their thoughts, but they get better at their soft skills to know

00:08:47.240 how to deliver their messages better. That's something you're going to get better at for the

00:08:50.120 rest of your life. But walking on eggshells, society where you're sitting there by yourself,

00:08:54.320 not really sharing your thoughts, it's as if you don't exist. You're non-existent. And that's just

00:08:58.960 not what men's men do. The next thing I want to talk to you about is competition. Society wants to 0.98

00:09:03.820 convince you that competition is not healthy for you. By the way, the same people that are selling you

00:09:07.320 that are those who lost, who didn't know how to handle it. The reality of it is socialist boys

00:09:12.100 have limited options. Capitalist men have unlimited options in every aspect of their life, where they

00:09:19.040 live, where they travel to, where they eat, who they date, anything you want. They have an unlimited

00:09:23.540 supply of options. And unfortunately, those who don't compete don't like the fact that you have more

00:09:28.600 options. You know, when I was 14 years old, I was playing this basketball association for troubled

00:09:32.640 teenagers. I'm in a league with Mara Sabatrucha, with Black Diamonds, with, you know, the

00:09:37.020 Sureños, 18 with the Blood Crypt, all these guys. And one day we're in this tournament and only five

00:09:43.560 of our players showed up and we played against a team that had a full lineup and we lost by 104

00:09:48.180 points. They give us this trophy that my dad has till today, a last place trophy. And he puts it

00:09:54.500 right there and he says, you know why we have this trophy? To remind you how bad you lost. It's almost

00:09:59.240 like experience the pain, son. And I'm like, dude, throw that thing away. He says, no, you lost by 104

00:10:05.180 points. Look at the psyche of a father. A mother would say, why would you do that to him? That

00:10:11.020 hurts his feeling. My dad's like, that's exactly what he needs. The pain of a loss makes a man come

00:10:16.360 back and improve. Makes him stay up late at night practicing while everybody else is sleeping.

00:10:21.780 Makes this guy say, one day I'm going to prove to the world that I'm a winner. So, going back to you,

00:10:26.380 there's nothing wrong with competing. There's nothing wrong with losing. As long as you keep

00:10:34.040 showing up and competing, eventually you're going to get your shot, but you're better off being a

00:10:38.760 capitalist than being a socialist because being a socialist is just not attractive. Final thoughts

00:10:43.140 here. Look, as you're going through the process from being a boy to a man or from a man to a man's

00:10:47.300 man, many times you're by yourself. Say you don't have a father figure. Say you don't have a strong

00:10:50.780 male role model. You don't know who to talk to. You're trying to please everybody. Your mom's telling you,

00:10:54.540 well, that's not the way to behave and you don't have another man to bounce off the idea to think 0.99

00:10:58.540 if it's a good idea or not. You're like, okay, I'm going to please my mom. I'm going to please my

00:11:02.340 teacher who's a woman. I'm going to please my girl who's a female. I'm going to please my, you know,

00:11:06.960 girlfriend's mom. You're trying to please everybody and you're becoming less and less and less of a man

00:11:11.660 and you're in the car by yourself saying, man, I'm losing my identity. I don't even know who I am.

00:11:15.780 Then you lean towards making bad decisions. Look, take a time out away from everybody and sit down and say,

00:11:21.240 what do I stand for? What are your values and principles? What do you stand for as a man?

00:11:25.580 What do you want to do with your life? What kind of a leader you want to be in your life? You,

00:11:28.960 who do you want to be? Not what everybody's trying to force you to become. Who do you want to be?

00:11:32.840 Then go solve for that. And when you do that, be prepared for some people to not like it.

00:11:39.040 That includes a lot of women in your life. Makes sense. And then all of a sudden you're going to be

00:11:43.320 like, oh my God, I'm finding more men like myself out there. Fantastic. They're out there.

00:11:47.060 They're everywhere. You can find them just like yourself. You are not the only one that's thinking

00:11:52.480 what you're thinking right now, but you want to be a man's man. The world gives you more

00:11:56.920 opportunities when you do so. We are living in a very, very competitive environment.

00:12:03.400 So if you got value from this video, give it a thumbs up, subscribe to the channel. And I got

00:12:06.620 two things I want to share with you. One, I made another video titled 20 rules for young men. If

00:12:11.120 you've never watched it, you must watch this one. And we have a quiz for you to find out what

00:12:15.260 you're driven by. You can click here or go to pbdquiz.com to find out what motivates you

00:12:21.460 and what drives you. Take care, everybody. Bye-bye.

Valuetainment - December 01, 2022

The Rise Of Weak Men - Breaking Down Toxic Masculinity In America Today

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