“The Saddest Fact Of My Life” - Anthony Hopkins OPENS UP On Painful Daughter Separation
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
181.29915
Summary
Actor Anthony Hopkins recently released a book about his relationship with his daughter. They have not seen each other in 20 years and she does not want to see him. What does this mean for the future of their relationship? Is there any chance of reconciliation?
Transcript
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I'm Kelly Kennedy. I've been called a hope dealer for leaders and with over 300 episodes of the Business Development Podcast, we'll guide you and we'll always be in your corner.
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Follow the Business Development Podcast on Spotify and let's make 2026 your best year yet.
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And by the way, yesterday, you know, I was talking to a couple of parents about what young boys need.
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And I said, there's five things young boys need. They need a present father, the right belief system sold to them.
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You need high standards, you need friction and you need fun. You need friction to be able to know that life's going to be tough.
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And over the weekend, I saw a video, an interview with Anthony Hopkins. Anthony Hopkins, one of my favorite actors of all time.
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The guy was in Shadowlands. He was in, I think it's called Shadowlands. He was in Silence of the Lambs.
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He's been on so many, The Fracture. He's been on so many things.
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But in this interview, he just came out with a book a few months back and this interviewer is asking him about his daughter.
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His daughter's 58 years old. They haven't seen each other for 20 plus years.
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Oh, wow. And she does not want to see him. And you have to see how uncomfortable he gets.
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And then I want you to hear his answer. Then I'm going to come back to you guys.
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Then I want to show you a video clip of a son and a father talking to each other.
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The son is now 32 years old, but let's watch this clip first.
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Here's Anthony Hopkins being asked about his estranged, being estranged from his daughter.
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For you. So I know what you're going to talk about my domestic life.
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Can I ask a general question that's not specifically about the material in the book?
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Part of the reason that the material in the book about your relationship with your daughter,
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your estranged relationship with your daughter,
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part of the reason why I found it so painful is that it resonated with me for personal reasons.
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I've seen my father, I think, twice in 20 years.
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You know, I've spoken to him once in those 20 years.
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And I'm very curious about other people's experience of that kind of estrangement.
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In this instance, the estrangement is my choice.
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But I just wonder if you have thoughts about where reconciliation might lie between estranged parents and children.
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And my wife, Stella, sent an invitation to come and see us.
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If you want to waste your life being in resentment, oh, 50 years later, 58 years later, fine, go ahead.
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See, we can, I could carry resentment over the past, this and the other.
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You have to acknowledge one thing, that we are imperfect.
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We're all sinners and saints or whatever we are.
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Like, what did he, did they say what he, what happened for something like that to occur?
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Because I mean, that, but I could, I could feel the pain in the, in the interviewers thing.
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Because mind you, I don't have any kids, but I can only imagine what that must feel like
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I couldn't see a moment or a scenario happening where I know that he's walking around,
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and I wouldn't be able to talk to him or be around him, even though whatever he put us through.
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And remember, you asked me, Pat, I think a month ago, you're like, Vinny, not less than a month ago,
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we're eating dinner, and you're like, if you had three wishes, what would one of them be?
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So when I see people like that, it hurts, because I'm like, you could see the pain.
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They're an active, contributing person in society, and you can't get them to be with you
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And it's like, man, that's a struggle I can only imagine.
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I can only imagine with everything that I've seen with you do, with Tico, with Dylan, with
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Senna, with Brookie, it would drive, Pat, if I found out one day Tico doesn't want to
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talk to you, and it's just because in his mind or a scenario happened in his head, he
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It would crush me knowing how horrible, horrible you would feel because of everything that
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you've done and the lessons and everything with the video that you put on Instagram, the
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It's none of my business, but I mean, if he's saying it's in the book, but it's soul-crushing.
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In this article, this is him and Abigail did a movie together called Shadowlands, which
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I think is a story of C.S. Lewis, which is worth watching if you haven't seen it.
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He married his first wife, I believe, in 1967, and they had her.
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And when they ask what happened and why he was hurt, because if you go a little bit lower,
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She had some kind of a small role in the movie.
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Rob, can you see if they says they fought frequently?
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Go a little bit higher to see if it's talking about his daughter or his ex.
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By the time we realized how awful of a match we were, Barker was pregnant, and we tried
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to rally for the sake of the child we were about to have.
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So he's talking about his wife, go a little bit lower.
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Hopkins explained that points of contention included his alcoholism and Barker's resentment
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One night when he returned home from working on a location in Scotland, Barker greeted him
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with sarcasm and called him Mr. Lord High and Mighty.
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I have never been physically violent, but in that moment I was filled with such revulsion
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And at that exact moment, Hopkins decided to leave for good and went to see his 14-month-old
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He writes, then I walked back to the hall, picked on my suitcase, and left the house.
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Aside from sending financial support, I didn't have contact with Petronella and Abigail for
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It is the saddest fact of my life and my greatest regret, and yet I feel absolutely sure that
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it would have been much worse for everyone had I stayed.
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And I don't know their religious beliefs, Pat, but a horrible, horrible situation.
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The attitude that he has, which I think is beautiful that I miss, is we're all sinners.
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I'm trying to be the best Christian that I can.
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You are the furthest thing from what Christ acts, but we're trying to walk in the footsteps.
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And again, if she was a real, I don't know who she is.
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I don't know nothing about her except for what you guys wrote.
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If she was a real practicing Christian, that forgiveness, which is one of the hardest
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things, praying for your enemies is number one for me, which is so difficult, but I do
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it, and then forgiveness, knowing that we fall short of the grace of God, but he gives
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us that moment to say, listen, you're going to fail.
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And if you accept that, then that relationship could be a lot different, because if that
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was me, and I was a daughter, and I was a real, legitimate practicing Christian, I'd
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I'm not going to forget anything that you did, leaving me at 14 months old.
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I'll try to not cry like Vinny, but it might be tough.
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I'm respectful and jealous of the relationship you have with your dad, because I see the relationship
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you have with your dad, and I just didn't have that relationship at all with my dad.
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I had the opposite relationship with Vinny, where you said you want to spend five more
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I said, I can't spend five more minutes with this guy.
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I tried and tried and tried to work out this relationship with my dad, and at the end of
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And it was the first time that I was able to press block on my phone after considering
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And I had all these crazy voicemails on my phone.
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But when you deal with challenges in your life, it only makes you better.
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Like if you see poor people, they get motivated, but I'm not going to be poor.
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So for me, I had such a contentious relationship with my father.
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I'm like, I'm going to have the best relationship with kids.
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I'm like, the fun uncle, I've taken a massive role in my nephew's life, especially since
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So I'm going to be the best possible uncle, father, leader.
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And obviously, I'm going through that vetting system right now with my girl.
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You know, you said these are the five things that every young man need.
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And I wish that more people, that more men had that active role with their kids.
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I mean, you know, the one movie that you not encouraged us to see, you made us see, was
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And Robert Duvall, I want to say, passed away last week.
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And the relationship they had with their Robert Downey Jr. and Robert Duvall, that was
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I think he had to come back after being estranged for decades and represent his father that was
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But in that scene, there's also where were you.
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And we've seen the stats about, you know, the best outcome for a kid is to have a two-parent
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But then when you take away the father, the stats plummet.
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But when you take away the mother and it's a single father, the stats say the same.
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And I'm not discounting what single mothers do because God knows we have that massive problem
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But the father's role in the life is the most important thing.
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And the last thing is this, I have friends on the opposite side of things, guys my age
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And I've seen the women that hold the kids hostage from my buddies.
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And I wish it was an equal footing type of thing.
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But men have to know what they're getting themselves into in the legal system because
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they're always going to side with the mother, whether that's alimony, whether that's child
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I know you talk about the 101 questions to ask before you get engaged.
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But this life thing that we're all trying to do, nobody has all the answers.
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