Valuetainment - February 14, 2023


The Secret To Lasting Relationships


Episode Stats

Length

6 minutes

Words per Minute

240.68675

Word Count

1,486

Sentence Count

141


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 So a lot of times when we hear the word net worth, all we think about is money.
00:00:02.760 Oh, that guy's net worth is 50 million, 200 million, 3 million, 600,000, because we measured
00:00:07.080 based on money, but we don't think about how does somebody increase their net worth?
00:00:10.360 Well, you need the right relationships.
00:00:11.940 How do you get the right relationship to the level of depth with the connection and value
00:00:15.960 for it to turn into the kind of net worth that you have today?
00:00:18.120 So all of this goes into, think about the five most valuable relationships you have
00:00:23.260 in your life today.
00:00:23.900 Think about those five.
00:00:25.020 You may say a wife, a husband, you know, friend, partner, business partner, whatever
00:00:28.860 it is.
00:00:29.260 So before they became as valuable as they are today to be in your five, what caused
00:00:33.900 it to get to that level when you first met them?
00:00:35.540 Okay.
00:00:35.660 So go back 10 years ago, 20 years ago, eight years ago, three years ago.
00:00:38.100 What happened for them to be in your top five?
00:00:40.000 We're going to talk about that today.
00:00:41.100 And by the way, if you get value from this video, give it a thumbs up and subscribe to
00:00:43.540 the channel.
00:00:43.860 Let me get right into it.
00:00:44.600 So we see Tom Brady and Gronk.
00:00:46.360 Oh my God.
00:00:46.840 They're so great together.
00:00:47.720 I bet they've been best friends since they won.
00:00:49.300 They've probably never had friction.
00:00:50.420 Look at Charlie Munger and Warren Buffett.
00:00:51.960 What a great partnership, man.
00:00:53.480 Steve Jobs and Johnny Ive, phenomenal relationship.
00:00:55.940 Tim Duncan and Popovich inside the NBA.
00:00:59.260 TNT, Shaq, Barkley, Kenny Smith.
00:01:01.560 These guys are phenomenal together.
00:01:03.300 What we don't see behind closers, how did these relationships get into how it is today?
00:01:08.400 This is what is going to happen.
00:01:09.760 100% of the time when the relationship gets deeper is when they overcome friction together.
00:01:17.500 Okay?
00:01:18.100 Friction is a byproduct of great, deeper relationships.
00:01:21.320 Here's what happens.
00:01:22.500 One time, the New England Patriots practice off-season.
00:01:26.480 All these medias, their next thing.
00:01:28.580 You know, the biggest fight breaks out.
00:01:30.420 Biggest fight breaks out.
00:01:31.480 Everybody's talking about, oh my God, the New England Patriots are off to a bad start.
00:01:35.980 There's a lot of infighting going on.
00:01:38.620 Practice ends.
00:01:39.480 Media goes to Bill Belichick.
00:01:40.800 Look, so Bill, you know, what do you need to do to unify this team?
00:01:44.480 It seems like everybody's fighting each other.
00:01:46.580 This is the worst we've ever seen.
00:01:48.240 The Patriots going into this season.
00:01:50.280 How are you going to fix this?
00:01:51.320 He says, fix what?
00:01:52.540 All the infighting.
00:01:53.860 He says, if we're this competitive against each other, I feel sorry for their opponents
00:01:59.560 and what they're going to do to them.
00:02:01.140 Because this is getting them to be closer and tighter.
00:02:04.180 Bill Belichick understood you need friction to get the team to be closer together.
00:02:08.040 Sometimes, there's many stories where great coaches create accidental friction to create
00:02:15.260 a bond within the team.
00:02:16.500 This has happened.
00:02:17.160 There's many stories.
00:02:18.160 I don't need to go into here.
00:02:19.400 Every one of the friendships and relationships I talk about today, it'll come down to this.
00:02:22.960 But here's the kicker.
00:02:23.760 When you go through it, you'll learn a lot about everybody.
00:02:27.080 You'll learn how you handle friction.
00:02:29.340 You'll learn how your approach, is your approach a good approach during times of friction?
00:02:33.500 You'll learn if the other person is willing and values their relationship.
00:02:37.400 I'm like, I don't give a shit.
00:02:38.260 I don't give a shit.
00:02:38.980 No problem.
00:02:39.400 And there's no value.
00:02:40.240 The person is saying, no, listen, I'm not happy.
00:02:43.600 Here's a conversation, dot, dot, dot.
00:02:45.380 But, man, I want to make this work.
00:02:47.140 Because I want to be in business with you long term.
00:02:49.040 Because I want us to be friends long term.
00:02:50.640 Because I want to be with you long term.
00:02:52.320 We got to figure this thing out.
00:02:53.680 But there's a moment of friction here.
00:02:54.760 One night, it's 3 o'clock in the morning.
00:02:56.400 I'm with Mario in the Rolls Royce.
00:02:58.820 This is the story he always tells.
00:03:00.660 This was a very awkward moment of friction that he told it in one of his videos that
00:03:05.120 he did, where he was going through a certain challenge.
00:03:07.820 We had this one moment together.
00:03:09.160 That could have been the last day him and I ever worked together.
00:03:11.520 It's a very, very sensitive moment of friction that we had together.
00:03:14.940 There's another guy who was in business.
00:03:15.920 I've been in business for a long time.
00:03:17.600 One day, I asked him to meet me at the Northridge parking lot.
00:03:20.860 And we had a three-hour conversation together.
00:03:22.880 That was friction.
00:03:23.720 But I had to tell him what was on my mind.
00:03:25.760 And I said, you don't need to agree with anything.
00:03:27.220 I said, I just want you to hear me out.
00:03:28.460 Give me three hours.
00:03:29.040 I'll never say it to you ever again.
00:03:30.700 You'll be left alone.
00:03:31.640 That led to a moment of breakthrough.
00:03:33.820 He and I shared that moment together.
00:03:35.260 There's another guy I can tell a story about.
00:03:36.860 We're in Lake Tahoe one time.
00:03:37.980 Something happened to his family.
00:03:39.400 We're in the theater room of this house that had rented.
00:03:41.680 And he's in tears crying.
00:03:42.600 I've seen this guy cry five times.
00:03:43.860 And I watched him and I said, man, this guy's going through it right now.
00:03:46.340 There was friction.
00:03:47.060 There was challenges.
00:03:47.680 In order for relationships to get deeper, running mate, spouse, father, son, mom, daughter, father, daughter, it doesn't matter.
00:03:55.400 You and your mom or dad.
00:03:56.520 That only happens when you guys go through a moment of friction.
00:03:59.600 But both parties are willing to get through that moment and understanding together.
00:04:04.480 If you can do that and have mutual respect while we're doing this, what you don't know that's happening on a leader's bulletin statistically, that relationship went from a level one to a level two and a half.
00:04:16.260 Three months ago, you guys experienced something again.
00:04:17.920 You just went from a two and a half.
00:04:18.900 You overcame that.
00:04:19.740 You go to 4.2.
00:04:21.200 Next time you have another friction together, this time it wasn't handled well, you go for a 2.8.
00:04:25.200 Next time you go through it again, yeah, I don't give a shit, you go to a 1.7.
00:04:28.600 That's exactly how these things are happening.
00:04:30.400 So in my life, I have a lot of valuable relationships.
00:04:33.520 Some, I was in the military.
00:04:34.560 I realized which one of my friends were actually fully wanting to have a long-term relationship to them.
00:04:39.540 For the rest of my life, I'm going to pour into those guys that did what they did for me.
00:04:43.020 I'll never forget in 1997, I'm in the military.
00:04:45.380 I'm all by myself.
00:04:46.120 And I had all these friends that I thought were like very, very close friends.
00:04:48.960 All of a sudden, you go to the military, come back and say, man, that guy was a friend, man.
00:04:52.800 He was with me through thick and thin.
00:04:54.500 I would never guess she would have been there.
00:04:56.460 Him, unbelievable.
00:04:57.800 But you almost need those times to realize who has your back.
00:05:01.860 It's unfortunate.
00:05:03.120 It's painful.
00:05:04.020 It's crazy.
00:05:04.860 But it is a filtering process that's required to go through times of friction.
00:05:08.620 So anyways, if this was a message you needed to hear for you to realize, maybe you just went through a friction in a relationship that maybe you didn't handle the right way.
00:05:15.680 If you really value that relationship, great relationship or very, very, very hard, very, very hard to come across.
00:05:22.300 If you had a moment like that, maybe you ought to make a phone call.
00:05:24.600 Set aside your ego, okay?
00:05:25.860 Say, I've got to make that one work.
00:05:26.940 Or if you're on the complete opposite side, you've got to say, you know, this is somebody that's really making an effort.
00:05:32.860 I want to sit down and have a conversation with these guys and actually tell them how I didn't like this thing was handled and hash it out.
00:05:38.840 Because say, I know this person wants good for me.
00:05:41.460 I know this is somebody that I'd love to have in my life for the next 10, 20, 30 years.
00:05:44.680 Let me make that phone call.
00:05:45.860 Once again, just like in life, great opportunities don't come along all the time.
00:05:49.580 They're only going to come across a handful of times.
00:05:51.680 Great friendships and relationships and business relationships, oh my God, they don't come across all the time.
00:05:57.320 Water them, value them, protect them.
00:05:59.660 Very hard to find.
00:06:00.440 Once again, if you got value from the video, give it a thumbs up and subscribe to the channel.
00:06:03.660 Got another video I want you to watch as well.
00:06:05.060 I did a video six, seven years ago titled How to Choose Great Friends.
00:06:07.500 If you've never seen this video, click here to watch it.
00:06:09.280 Take care, everybody.
00:06:09.960 Bye-bye, bye-bye.