Valuetainment - February 14, 2023


The Secret To Lasting Relationships

Topics
friction friction in relationships
Hosted by
Patrick Bet-David
Mentioned
Bill Belichick Charlie Munger Warren Buffett Kenny Smith Steve Jobs Tim Duncan Tom Brady Popovich Barkley Johnny Mario Shaq
The Next Big Economic Crisis - UNEMPLOYMENT 10 Rules For Making Your First Million

Episode Stats


Length

6 minutes

Words per minute

240.69

Word count

1,486

Sentence count

149

Harmful content

Toxicity

7

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Friction is a byproduct of great, deeper relationships. Bill Belichick is a great example of this. The New England Patriots, the Chicago Bears, and the San Francisco 49ers have all had their share of friction in their history, and it all led to a much deeper and more valuable relationship.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 So a lot of times when we hear the word net worth, all we think about is money.
00:00:02.760 Oh, that guy's net worth is 50 million, 200 million, 3 million, 600,000, because we measured
00:00:07.080 based on money, but we don't think about how does somebody increase their net worth?
00:00:10.360 Well, you need the right relationships.
00:00:11.940 How do you get the right relationship to the level of depth with the connection and value
00:00:15.960 for it to turn into the kind of net worth that you have today?
00:00:18.120 So all of this goes into, think about the five most valuable relationships you have
00:00:23.260 in your life today.
00:00:23.900 Think about those five.
00:00:25.020 You may say a wife, a husband, you know, friend, partner, business partner, whatever
00:00:28.860 it is.
00:00:29.260 So before they became as valuable as they are today to be in your five, what caused
00:00:33.900 it to get to that level when you first met them?
00:00:35.540 Okay.
00:00:35.660 So go back 10 years ago, 20 years ago, eight years ago, three years ago.
00:00:38.100 What happened for them to be in your top five?
00:00:40.000 We're going to talk about that today.
00:00:41.100 And by the way, if you get value from this video, give it a thumbs up and subscribe to
00:00:43.540 the channel.
00:00:43.860 Let me get right into it.
00:00:44.600 So we see Tom Brady and Gronk.
00:00:46.360 Oh my God.
00:00:46.840 They're so great together.
00:00:47.720 I bet they've been best friends since they won.
00:00:49.300 They've probably never had friction.
00:00:50.420 Look at Charlie Munger and Warren Buffett.
00:00:51.960 What a great partnership, man.
00:00:53.480 Steve Jobs and Johnny Ive, phenomenal relationship.
00:00:55.940 Tim Duncan and Popovich inside the NBA.
00:00:59.260 TNT, Shaq, Barkley, Kenny Smith.
00:01:01.560 These guys are phenomenal together.
00:01:03.300 What we don't see behind closers, how did these relationships get into how it is today?
00:01:08.400 This is what is going to happen.
00:01:09.760 100% of the time when the relationship gets deeper is when they overcome friction together.
00:01:17.500 Okay?
00:01:18.100 Friction is a byproduct of great, deeper relationships.
00:01:21.320 Here's what happens.
00:01:22.500 One time, the New England Patriots practice off-season.
00:01:26.480 All these medias, their next thing.
00:01:28.580 You know, the biggest fight breaks out.
00:01:30.420 Biggest fight breaks out.
00:01:31.480 Everybody's talking about, oh my God, the New England Patriots are off to a bad start.
00:01:35.980 There's a lot of infighting going on.
00:01:38.620 Practice ends.
00:01:39.480 Media goes to Bill Belichick.
00:01:40.800 Look, so Bill, you know, what do you need to do to unify this team?
00:01:44.480 It seems like everybody's fighting each other.
00:01:46.580 This is the worst we've ever seen.
00:01:48.240 The Patriots going into this season.
00:01:50.280 How are you going to fix this?
00:01:51.320 He says, fix what?
00:01:52.540 All the infighting.
00:01:53.860 He says, if we're this competitive against each other, I feel sorry for their opponents
00:01:59.560 and what they're going to do to them.
00:02:01.140 Because this is getting them to be closer and tighter.
00:02:04.180 Bill Belichick understood you need friction to get the team to be closer together.
00:02:08.040 Sometimes, there's many stories where great coaches create accidental friction to create
00:02:15.260 a bond within the team.
00:02:16.500 This has happened.
00:02:17.160 There's many stories.
00:02:18.160 I don't need to go into here.
00:02:19.400 Every one of the friendships and relationships I talk about today, it'll come down to this.
00:02:22.960 But here's the kicker.
00:02:23.760 When you go through it, you'll learn a lot about everybody.
00:02:27.080 You'll learn how you handle friction.
00:02:29.340 You'll learn how your approach, is your approach a good approach during times of friction?
00:02:33.500 You'll learn if the other person is willing and values their relationship. 0.99
00:02:37.400 I'm like, I don't give a shit. 1.00
00:02:38.260 I don't give a shit. 1.00
00:02:38.980 No problem. 0.99
00:02:39.400 And there's no value.
00:02:40.240 The person is saying, no, listen, I'm not happy.
00:02:43.600 Here's a conversation, dot, dot, dot.
00:02:45.380 But, man, I want to make this work.
00:02:47.140 Because I want to be in business with you long term.
00:02:49.040 Because I want us to be friends long term.
00:02:50.640 Because I want to be with you long term.
00:02:52.320 We got to figure this thing out.
00:02:53.680 But there's a moment of friction here.
00:02:54.760 One night, it's 3 o'clock in the morning.
00:02:56.400 I'm with Mario in the Rolls Royce.
00:02:58.820 This is the story he always tells.
00:03:00.660 This was a very awkward moment of friction that he told it in one of his videos that
00:03:05.120 he did, where he was going through a certain challenge.
00:03:07.820 We had this one moment together.
00:03:09.160 That could have been the last day him and I ever worked together.
00:03:11.520 It's a very, very sensitive moment of friction that we had together.
00:03:14.940 There's another guy who was in business.
00:03:15.920 I've been in business for a long time.
00:03:17.600 One day, I asked him to meet me at the Northridge parking lot.
00:03:20.860 And we had a three-hour conversation together.
00:03:22.880 That was friction.
00:03:23.720 But I had to tell him what was on my mind.
00:03:25.760 And I said, you don't need to agree with anything.
00:03:27.220 I said, I just want you to hear me out.
00:03:28.460 Give me three hours.
00:03:29.040 I'll never say it to you ever again.
00:03:30.700 You'll be left alone.
00:03:31.640 That led to a moment of breakthrough.
00:03:33.820 He and I shared that moment together.
00:03:35.260 There's another guy I can tell a story about.
00:03:36.860 We're in Lake Tahoe one time.
00:03:37.980 Something happened to his family.
00:03:39.400 We're in the theater room of this house that had rented.
00:03:41.680 And he's in tears crying.
00:03:42.600 I've seen this guy cry five times.
00:03:43.860 And I watched him and I said, man, this guy's going through it right now.
00:03:46.340 There was friction.
00:03:47.060 There was challenges.
00:03:47.680 In order for relationships to get deeper, running mate, spouse, father, son, mom, daughter, father, daughter, it doesn't matter.
00:03:55.400 You and your mom or dad.
00:03:56.520 That only happens when you guys go through a moment of friction.
00:03:59.600 But both parties are willing to get through that moment and understanding together.
00:04:04.480 If you can do that and have mutual respect while we're doing this, what you don't know that's happening on a leader's bulletin statistically, that relationship went from a level one to a level two and a half.
00:04:16.260 Three months ago, you guys experienced something again.
00:04:17.920 You just went from a two and a half.
00:04:18.900 You overcame that.
00:04:19.740 You go to 4.2.
00:04:21.200 Next time you have another friction together, this time it wasn't handled well, you go for a 2.8. 0.99
00:04:25.200 Next time you go through it again, yeah, I don't give a shit, you go to a 1.7. 0.98
00:04:28.600 That's exactly how these things are happening. 0.93
00:04:30.400 So in my life, I have a lot of valuable relationships.
00:04:33.520 Some, I was in the military.
00:04:34.560 I realized which one of my friends were actually fully wanting to have a long-term relationship to them.
00:04:39.540 For the rest of my life, I'm going to pour into those guys that did what they did for me.
00:04:43.020 I'll never forget in 1997, I'm in the military.
00:04:45.380 I'm all by myself.
00:04:46.120 And I had all these friends that I thought were like very, very close friends.
00:04:48.960 All of a sudden, you go to the military, come back and say, man, that guy was a friend, man.
00:04:52.800 He was with me through thick and thin.
00:04:54.500 I would never guess she would have been there.
00:04:56.460 Him, unbelievable.
00:04:57.800 But you almost need those times to realize who has your back.
00:05:01.860 It's unfortunate.
00:05:03.120 It's painful.
00:05:04.020 It's crazy.
00:05:04.860 But it is a filtering process that's required to go through times of friction.
00:05:08.620 So anyways, if this was a message you needed to hear for you to realize, maybe you just went through a friction in a relationship that maybe you didn't handle the right way.
00:05:15.680 If you really value that relationship, great relationship or very, very, very hard, very, very hard to come across.
00:05:22.300 If you had a moment like that, maybe you ought to make a phone call.
00:05:24.600 Set aside your ego, okay?
00:05:25.860 Say, I've got to make that one work.
00:05:26.940 Or if you're on the complete opposite side, you've got to say, you know, this is somebody that's really making an effort.
00:05:32.860 I want to sit down and have a conversation with these guys and actually tell them how I didn't like this thing was handled and hash it out.
00:05:38.840 Because say, I know this person wants good for me.
00:05:41.460 I know this is somebody that I'd love to have in my life for the next 10, 20, 30 years.
00:05:44.680 Let me make that phone call.
00:05:45.860 Once again, just like in life, great opportunities don't come along all the time.
00:05:49.580 They're only going to come across a handful of times.
00:05:51.680 Great friendships and relationships and business relationships, oh my God, they don't come across all the time.
00:05:57.320 Water them, value them, protect them.
00:05:59.660 Very hard to find.
00:06:00.440 Once again, if you got value from the video, give it a thumbs up and subscribe to the channel.
00:06:03.660 Got another video I want you to watch as well.
00:06:05.060 I did a video six, seven years ago titled How to Choose Great Friends.
00:06:07.500 If you've never seen this video, click here to watch it.
00:06:09.280 Take care, everybody.
00:06:09.960 Bye-bye, bye-bye.