Valuetainment - April 10, 2023


Who Gets The Worst Out of You？


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

233.33932

Word Count

2,165

Sentence Count

184

Hate Speech Sentences

2


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 So if I were to ask you right now who gets the best out of you, who in your life gets the best
00:00:03.620 out of you, meaning a coach, a mentor, a boss, a father, an uncle, a brother, a sister, somebody
00:00:07.960 that gets the best out of you would probably come up with a couple names, right? But what if I ask
00:00:11.880 you who in your life gets the worst out of you? Somehow, someway, they agitate you, they get under
00:00:17.340 your skin, they make you feel insecure, bad, not good, and it doesn't make you perform. I'm not
00:00:22.820 talking about a guy that drives you. I'm talking about a downer. Do you have people like that in
00:00:26.900 your life? You can probably think about somebody in your life. So here's a question. What's more
00:00:30.120 important? Is it more important to surround yourself around a bunch of these guys that are the winners
00:00:34.280 who get the best out of you? Or is it more important to try to just avoid at all costs people who tend
00:00:39.960 to get the worst out of you? Russell Wilson, who was a Super Bowl champion, got a hold of this one guy
00:00:45.280 who was premier at developing a winner's mindset. His name is Trevor Mawad. When he got a hold of
00:00:51.720 Russell Wilson in 2012, they talked every single day on the phone until he died in 2021. I'm going
00:00:57.800 to share with you five techniques he used to get people mentally strong that'll give you some insight
00:01:02.440 into it. If you get value from the video, give it a thumbs up and subscribe to the channel. Let's get
00:01:06.180 right into it. So I want to give a quick shout out to our sponsor of this video, BetterHelp. BetterHelp
00:01:09.960 is the world's largest therapy service and it's online. 25,000 therapists. It's an important thing here
00:01:15.900 to tell you a story about what happened to me years ago. 20 years ago, I'm an entrepreneur. I'm in LA
00:01:20.160 and I'm talking to my business colleagues who are bigger than me. And I said, Hey, is there somebody
00:01:24.420 I can go talk to? They said, there's this therapist in Santa Monica. I would drive an hour away because
00:01:30.100 this guy would work with C-suite executives and founders to go sit with this guy. One, it wasn't
00:01:35.700 discreet. There was other people in there. Two, at a two hour drive in LA traffic, couldn't stand it.
00:01:40.880 And three, I didn't have a lot of other people that specialize specifically in business. This was my only
00:01:45.700 guy. I wish there was a platform that had more options that was online, that was discreet. And
00:01:51.320 you do now it's called BetterHelp. So to take advantage of BetterHelp, you can simply go to
00:01:55.240 betterhelp.com forward slash value attainment. Once again, betterhelp.com forward slash value
00:01:59.960 attainment. You get 10% discount for the first month of service you use with them. Russell Wilson goes
00:02:05.700 into the NFL. I think his draft was 2012. This guy's got a reputation with Nick Saban. He's worked with
00:02:10.520 over a dozen first round draft picks, 700 athletes. Coaches start believing in this Trevor guy's
00:02:17.240 mindset of developing leaders. When him and Russell Wilson met for the first time, Russell Wilson said,
00:02:22.580 hey man, you know, it's good to meet you. He says, I hear you're supposed to be great. And he says,
00:02:26.340 what are you supposed to be great at? He says, in developing a winner's mindset. So what is a
00:02:30.720 winner's mindset? He had five techniques to use. Here's the first one. Go neutral. He says, neutral
00:02:35.100 thinking means accepting the idea that when something good or bad happens, it just happens.
00:02:40.320 Instead of getting caught up in the negativity of a bad past or a mental or physical mistake,
00:02:46.060 you just accept that it happened and move on. Meaning a lot of times when you're doing things,
00:02:50.360 if you're trying to do something big, you're going to make mistakes. Are you going to be winning?
00:02:54.120 Are you going to be losing? You're going to feel like, oh my God, I shouldn't have done this. I
00:02:57.220 shouldn't have done that. So that's his first technique. Here's the second technique. Stop giving
00:03:00.680 credence to feelings. Feelings are confusing and misleading. Sometimes they are accurate depictions of
00:03:06.000 reality and sometimes they're not. The more we pay attention to our feelings, the more we
00:03:10.100 move away from our capabilities and our training. So that's why I say, don't pay too much attention
00:03:15.500 to your feelings. Interesting. Feelings. They come, they go. Don't give a lot of credence.
00:03:20.360 Here's technique number three. Use what you have. Russell recognized that he did not meet the very
00:03:24.840 specific, rigorous standards predetermined by the NFL relative to height and other evaluations.
00:03:31.420 Instead, he combined his behavior along with his aptitude for football and said,
00:03:35.840 I'm going to use what I have rather than let the outside world tell me what I don't have. Again,
00:03:41.440 remember, people that get the best out of you, people that get the worst out of you, people that
00:03:44.960 get the best out of you typically work with what you have. People that get the worst out of you
00:03:47.980 typically will compare you to other people on what they have and what you don't have, why you can't be
00:03:51.940 as good as them. And somehow, some way they get the worst out of you. Not effective.
00:03:56.200 Technique number four. Focus on reducing negativity, not increasing positivity.
00:03:59.980 Less negative is significantly more powerful than more positive. Look what he says. Less negative
00:04:07.740 is more powerful than more positive. Having fewer people in your life that get the worst out of you
00:04:14.340 is more effective than having more people in your life that get the best out of you. What?
00:04:20.180 That's exactly how this thing works. Going back to how we started. Let me just give you the last
00:04:23.700 technique and I'll give you some thoughts. Here's his fifth technique. Watch your language. What you say
00:04:28.200 out loud is far more powerful than your self-talk. Great teams are great at communicating powerfully
00:04:33.800 and positively with each other. It matters less what you tell yourself and more what you tell your
00:04:39.920 teammates. You really got to watch your external language if you're going to succeed. So look, pick and
00:04:45.460 choose whichever the five techniques apply to you. But for me, the biggest one is I was watching a video
00:04:49.500 the other day of Dame Dash and he just opens it up. He says, I hate negative people. He says, if the first
00:04:54.300 thing I come up with while I'm thinking about ideas is your negative ideas, why you don't think it could
00:04:58.820 work out, I don't need you in my life. There's a time and place to talk about the problems, but when
00:05:02.960 I'm dreaming, don't be negative. So again, go back to the first question I ask you. Who gets the worst
00:05:09.540 out of you? You know what the problem with this whole concept is? Let me tell you why this thing
00:05:12.960 sucks. You ready? You know why this thing sucks? When I ask you who gets the worst out of you, you know
00:05:17.100 sometimes why this sucks? Because sometimes that person is blood and you love them and it's hard. Your dad,
00:05:23.300 it's your mom, it's your brother, it's your sister, it's your cousin, your grandpa, your grandma. You're
00:05:28.760 like, dude, I love you, but what the hell is the matter with you? And you get the worst out of people
00:05:34.800 the way you do. It is so difficult to do what I'm about to tell you to do and most people will not
00:05:40.120 do it. You know how you go on a diet to not eat sweets? I'm not going to eat sweets for the next 30
00:05:44.280 days. Or I'm not going to eat any starch. Or I'm going to go do this. I'm going to do that for six
00:05:47.540 months. I haven't had any soda since July of 2019, I believe. I don't know how long that is. That's
00:05:52.240 a long time I haven't had soda. I used to drink three Coke zeros a day. I haven't had any, right?
00:05:56.480 How long do you think you can go avoiding those people that get the worst out of you?
00:06:03.380 You think you can go on a 30-day diet? What do you think? If you live with them, you have a problem.
00:06:12.140 If you live with them, you got a problem. But man, you got to do your best. It's like the ice cream
00:06:16.800 is in the fridge and somebody else eats it. You have to avoid that ice cream. You got to avoid the
00:06:21.100 people that get the worst out of you. See if you can do for 30 days. See what happens to you. See
00:06:26.080 if you can do for 60, 90 days. See what happens to you. Life-changing. I'm convinced as much as
00:06:31.580 somebody can lift you up and how powerful these people are to say, I believe you can do it. Go
00:06:36.340 get them. I believe as powerful as these guys are, the people that know how to pull you down are a
00:06:40.860 hundred times more powerful than these guys. I'm convinced. Because if it wasn't the case,
00:06:45.380 more people would be winning in life. But they're not because these guys are so freaking get out what
00:06:50.360 they do. And they got you as well many times. Now, some of you are watching this. This one's
00:06:54.440 going to hurt. So brace for impact. You're not going to like this part. And then you're going
00:06:58.460 to give me a thumbs down or whatever you're going to do. It's all good. I'm a big boy. I can handle
00:07:01.520 it. Some of you guys are watching. It's like, you know what? It's my boss. It's that person.
00:07:07.360 It's this person. All the people that get the worst out of me. That's why I'm not winning. No,
00:07:13.720 you may be that person for somebody else. I was saying you are. And you say, well, how do I gauge this?
00:07:18.040 It's very simple. You ready? How many people around you, the five people you hang out with
00:07:22.680 the most, are winning in life? They're positive and they're happy. If they are, and they're
00:07:26.320 advancing, and life is getting better, you're not that person. But if the five people around
00:07:30.440 you in your life are all bitching, complaining, struggling financially, always blaming somebody
00:07:35.160 else, you get to pick and choose. This was not a message for everybody. But either way,
00:07:39.540 whatever it is, I was at church this Sunday, and the guy was giving a message. It was a powerful
00:07:43.240 message. My son decided to go to the big room with me. Tico was here, sitting here, and we're sitting
00:07:47.520 there listening to this guy give this message. Powerful. The great thing about life, the reason
00:07:51.700 why there's this word called grace. I was a screw-up for a big chunk of my life. I chose to change.
00:07:57.560 At any point, you and I can change. However, some of you that are watching this saying, Patrick,
00:08:03.040 the reason why I'm still hanging around people that get the worst out of me, because I believe I can
00:08:07.080 change them. What if I can change them? I didn't say, you could change them. I said, God could change
00:08:11.020 them. If you think you can change them, you think you're God? Oh, that's a big risk you're taking right
00:08:15.720 there. I don't recommend it. One of the most powerful affirmations in my life. At 26 years
00:08:19.800 old, I added, you know what it was? Stop trying to be God. That job is already taken. And some of you
00:08:28.440 may be trying to be God. You can't change those people. Only they can change people. Only life
00:08:32.760 can change them. Only God can change them. And if you want to be God, you can spend 10, 20, 30 years
00:08:36.780 wasting your life thinking they're going to change, and they're going to suck you down to their level.
00:08:40.720 Heavy message. Congratulations. It's Monday. This is when the video goes out. If it's the right
00:08:45.700 message can change your life. For the right person watching this, you may even be emotional
00:08:50.860 right now in the car listening to this glued. Pull over the car, because you got some thinking
00:08:54.400 to do. I understand how heavy today's message could be, because it was very heavy for me 20
00:08:58.740 years ago. 18 years going out to make this choice. Very, very hard. Very emotional. Very hard. But
00:09:03.520 I'm thankful I did it. And you will be as well. If you got value from this video, give it a thumbs up.
00:09:08.920 Subscribe to the channel. I got another video for you to watch. They deal with negative team members. If
00:09:12.720 you've never seen it, click here to watch the video. Take care, everybody. Bye-bye.
00:09:15.700 Bye-bye.