Valuetainment - Why A Prenup Is The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Marriage

00:00:00.000 Today I'm going to make a case to you why I believe getting a prenuptial agreement may be one of the

00:00:03.840 best things you can do for your marriage. And by the way, if you're watching this and you're saying

00:00:09.100 what the hell is he talking about? Just brace for impact, take a deep breath, watch this video

00:00:14.120 together. There's a likelihood you're going to argue afterwards. But if I do make sense to you

00:00:18.940 in this video, before you argue, give it a thumbs up and subscribe to the channel. So let's get right

00:00:24.240 into it. So stick around to the very end. I'm going to give you a lot of different stats and

00:00:35.440 eight reasons why you ought to consider getting a prenuptial agreement. Let's get right into it.

00:00:38.140 So look, I've been running a business for 20 plus years. Business is very hard, right? I've been in

00:00:44.040 the insurance space over two decades. The whole concept about insurance isn't buying auto insurance

00:00:49.380 because you're going to get into a car accident. You don't buy a life insurance because you're going

00:00:53.320 to die tomorrow. You buy auto insurance that in case you get into a car accident or somebody hits

00:00:58.220 you, you're protected. You buy life insurance that in case you die tomorrow or next week or next year

00:01:03.220 while you have a wife or a husband and kids, they're at least taken care of. The same thing as goes with

00:01:08.000 insurance is the same thing that goes with prenup. Look at prenuptial agreements or postnuptial

00:01:13.340 agreements as a form of insurance. So now let me give you some stats when it comes down to marriage and

00:01:19.000 divorces. So only 5% of folks who get a divorce had a prenup. Of the people that got a divorce,

00:01:27.180 15% of them wish they would have set up a prenup. So now when you look at these stats and divorces in

00:01:32.980 America, 41% of first marriages end up out of divorce. But watch what happens to the stats.

00:01:39.460 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages, which means if your first marriage didn't work

00:01:48.220 out and you didn't have a prenup, fine. But don't do it on your second or your third. So now let me

00:01:53.000 continue. A few other things you need to know when it comes down to marriage. The average marriage in

00:01:57.160 America lasts eight years. And aside from that, every 16 seconds, somebody gets married in America

00:02:02.360 and every 42 seconds, someone's getting a divorce in America. So now prenuptial, nuptial agreements,

00:02:07.880 Pat, I don't get it. Are we talking about divorces here today? Let me give you one of the most

00:02:12.620 important reasons why you ought to get an nuptial agreement. It's simply to avoid future arguments.

00:02:20.280 For example, most of the time when you talk about, well, why, why would, why would somebody get an

00:02:24.580 nuptial agreement? Do you not trust me? It's the famous line when somebody wants to set up an

00:02:28.200 nuptial agreement. You must not trust me. You don't trust me. My mom told me you don't trust me. All you

00:02:32.540 care about is money. If somebody starts saying stuff like that, that's a very deep concerning thing

00:02:37.040 because what do you mean? I don't trust you. We've only known each other for two years. We've only

00:02:41.100 known each other for a year. Nowadays, most people get married online. Most people meet each other

00:02:45.720 online. I don't want to have the same years of experience with you. If I would have met you

00:02:50.280 through a family member or a friend or a coworker, there is a lot of risk today in marriage more than

00:02:55.740 ever before, because people are more than ever marrying somebody that they know the least amount

00:03:01.540 where before, at least we knew more about the person that we're getting married. So having said that,

00:03:06.220 I'll give you two stories and I'll get into the two points. So Jackie O, John F. Kennedy's wife, 0.83

00:03:12.180 she's widowed. So while she's about to marry Onassis, who's a very successful businessman,

00:03:20.640 at the time I think he's a billionaire, very well known, very successful, and he has always liked

00:03:27.500 Jackie. They finally agreed to get married. And one of the clauses Jackie gets to put in the

00:03:31.540 agreement, the nuptial agreement is for each year that Jackie is married to him,

00:03:37.360 if he divorces her, she gets $10 million. That's part of the agreement. She was able to negotiate

00:03:43.000 a lot of different things. So was he. He had great attorneys. She had great attorneys. So we get

00:03:46.740 married. Look, I'm a first lady. If I'm going to risk marrying somebody like you, there's risk for

00:03:51.220 marrying a playboy like you. I got to be protected. Per year I'm married to you, I get $10 million.

00:03:56.340 Now that's that time, by the way, 64, 65, 66 compared to today. That's a lot of money, right?

00:04:02.100 Salma Hayek is another one. She gets married to a billionaire. Okay. I believe they had a kid

00:04:06.420 together. I even believe there's a, there's a contract and they're agreeing that per kid,

00:04:10.480 it was a certain number, $17 million. I don't remember the exact number, but there's something

00:04:14.740 there. Now somebody may say, Oh my God, look, that's fake. That's not real love. What do you call

00:04:19.900 that? Is that real love? That's not real love. The way I got married was real love. Oh really? Yeah.

00:04:24.540 Okay. Cause you don't think about the fact that life happens after we get married. After you have

00:04:29.420 one kid, two kids, three kids, four kids, travel, in-laws, issues. You and I cannot predict that the

00:04:35.440 other person's going to change or not. You can't predict if I'm going to change and I cannot predict

00:04:39.620 that you're going to change. Of course, we're loving each other. We're getting married, but then life

00:04:42.860 happens and marriage sometimes turns into a business and then there's money. So now eight reasons to why

00:04:48.340 set up a prenuptial agreement. One of them for me, prevent future arguments. What do I mean by this?

00:04:53.220 Well, when getting married, you know, I try to teach this from people that I watch very closely

00:04:58.860 and people that I, you know, consult with is I like to have three different accounts. One account is

00:05:04.620 our account. Okay. And our account, the money is spent to pay the bills. The money is spent for our

00:05:10.080 kids. The money is spent for our food. It's everything that's our, then there's her account. Then there is

00:05:16.260 his account, right? Her account. She wants to go buy three Louis Vuitton purses. It's your money. Do it.

00:05:22.060 You want to go spend money on one of your cousins that I really don't like. And she always asks you

00:05:27.280 for money. And instead of you asking me for the money, you don't even have to ask me anymore.

00:05:31.300 You just give your cousin $10,000 out of your money, but not my money and not our money instead

00:05:37.940 your money. Because when it's your money, it's a different story. Now, when, when, when birthday comes

00:05:41.880 up, if you don't set it up this way and say your wife buys you a gift or your husband buys you a gift

00:05:48.240 out of our money, it's not really a gift. You're like, Oh babe, here's what I got for you. Yeah,

00:05:52.340 babe. I saw it on the credit card the other day. I kind of know what you were getting me. And it's

00:05:55.880 not like you felt the real pain because you're spending it out of our money. Right. But isn't

00:05:59.720 that how it's supposed to be? Well, if I buy it out of my money, it's very different. If she buys it

00:06:04.740 out of her money, it's very different because she's like, you know, watch, you got this for me.

00:06:08.600 This is awesome, babe. And I'm telling you from somebody who has lived this, like what I'm telling you is

00:06:13.420 how I live my life. It feels amazing when it's coming out of her money and feels amazing when I

00:06:17.560 buy her something out of my money. So number one, prevents future arguments. Number two, protect

00:06:22.760 separate property. What does this mean? So let's just say if hypothetically we're getting married and

00:06:27.420 prior to getting married, she owned three properties. I never bought those properties. 0.74

00:06:31.940 Those are her properties. They're not my properties. No problem. Hey babe, the nuptial, we're giving those

00:06:36.540 properties I bought before we got married. Matter of fact, one of them was given to me through my dad.

00:06:40.300 That's my property. Okay. And whatever we do together is going to be ours,

00:06:43.220 but these three properties are my property. You write an nuptial agreement. She's right. Those

00:06:47.180 properties I never bought, she bought, and it's my property. Fantastic. You sign it to vice versa,

00:06:51.480 if it's his or if it's hers. Well, you know that company, I was running that company before,

00:06:56.220 and I'm just telling you that company is going to be mine. So here's how it's going to be set up.

00:06:59.780 This is my company. I was building the way before you. Okay. That totally makes sense.

00:07:04.400 These collectibles, I had this art that I had, this collectible card I had, whatever it may be,

00:07:09.240 you write it out on whatever it was, personal property assets. So it's separated

00:07:13.140 and nobody can fight and bicker over it later on. Number three, say you marry somebody who's

00:07:18.140 coming with $150,000 of debt. If you don't clarify that, that's officially both of your debt. But if

00:07:24.920 you put in an nuptial agreement and say, listen, that $150,000 of debt, that's your debt. That's

00:07:30.220 not my debt. That is your debt. And that's in our agreement. This is your debt. No problem. I totally

00:07:34.920 get it. I'm willing to marry, but babe, $150,000 of debt. I didn't have it a day before I got married.

00:07:41.120 I don't want to all of a sudden get a $150,000 credit card debt. It's too much pressure on the

00:07:45.700 marriage. It's too much pressure on me. I'll choose to help you out if I choose to help you out,

00:07:50.620 but I don't want to be forced to have to handle that $150,000. Okay, fine. No problem. You write

00:07:56.100 it out. It's in place. Both parties know we're good to go. Number four is revolving around issues

00:08:00.440 having to do with children from prior marriages. So say you get married. Hey, this is our son. It's my

00:08:06.980 stepson. It's I'm going to treat him like my son, but that's also your son from a prior marriage.

00:08:12.200 How do we want to handle some of the finances? These are your two kids. How do we want to handle

00:08:16.120 this? The man may say, I'm going to take care of him like my own kids. Okay. Then we don't even need

00:08:19.620 to put that in an upshot agreement, but no, these are my kids. Okay. Then the responsibilities with

00:08:23.960 your kids, if they do X, Y, Z financially, this is on you or this is on me. I got five kids. You got

00:08:28.240 two kids. Is it fair for you to have to support all the five and all this stuff? Well, no, the other three

00:08:33.040 are living with the dad. The other two are living with the mom, you know, whatever it may be, but

00:08:37.120 that's got to be in the nuptial agreement. So it doesn't create future, uh, arguments. When my dad

00:08:43.720 didn't get remarried, one day I'm sitting down with him. I said, why don't you ever get remarried?

00:08:47.220 He says, I did not want to have, to have the new wife create issues with my existing kids that I have 1.00

00:08:53.420 with the two of you. I have a great relationship with you. I did not want to have more issues with you.

00:08:57.540 So I dated, but I never got remarried. Sometimes kids from prior marriages can cause a lot of

00:09:02.740 friction. And one person can say, it's the magical question. You ready? Who do you love more? Me or

00:09:08.220 your kids? What does a parent say? What do you mean? Who do I love more? I'm your wife. You don't love

00:09:13.660 me. I had your, I had my kids before. You don't even want to have that conversation. You write it out,

00:09:18.900 you put it in there. It prevents future arguments. Number five, the benefit of setting up a prenup now

00:09:23.500 is you're preventing yourself from overpaying later on to legal fees. So everything's on a piece of paper

00:09:29.080 while you're sitting there and you know what's going to be happening because later on, here's

00:09:33.160 what lawyers are going to do. You ever seen the movie Wedding Crasher where Vince Vaughn was a

00:09:36.700 divorce attorney and he would sit there and you can tell, Hey, you had to push him back and forth,

00:09:40.760 push him back and forth. The longer a divorce drags out, the more lawyers make money. And you better 0.98

00:09:46.840 believe the two people that are on the same team behind closed doors, wink, wink is his lawyer. And it's

00:09:52.780 her lawyer because all they want to do is lengthen more fights. So it's more billable hours, the more 0.92

00:09:59.560 money they make. But when you come to a lawyer and say, Hey, we already have this agreement in place.

00:10:05.140 Oh shoot. These guys, instead of having to spend $50,000 in legal fees and divorce fees,

00:10:10.380 they spent $5,000 by setting up a prenup upfront. These guys were prepared for it. Not saying you're

00:10:15.540 going to get a divorce, but later on, if it does get to that point, you will save yourself tens of

00:10:19.720 thousands of dollars of legal fees. Point number six, child expenses that you guys are both going

00:10:24.580 to have together, not prior marriages, but your child. So say for instance, you have three kids.

00:10:28.900 Okay. So what's going to happen? Who's going to pay for college tuition for the kids? Who's going to

00:10:32.300 pay for health costs? That's expensive. Are you going to pay for it? Are you going to structure it that

00:10:36.880 way? Sometimes you'll notice, you know, Hey, if we have three kids, two of them live with me. One of

00:10:41.240 them live with you. I pay for 66% of college. You pay for a third. Okay. Sounds good. What if the

00:10:46.380 husband, they have three kids and then all of a sudden there's a divorce that takes place, 1.00

00:10:50.440 but the wife stays single. She's not cohabitating with anybody. Maybe the husband supports, 0.73

00:10:54.420 but if the wife gets married and is cohabitating with somebody, well, then that man's got to take

00:10:59.100 care of the stuff. Maybe I will only help 50%. All of those details are easily written in a nuptial

00:11:06.160 agreement on how you want to handle college expenses, close per year, school tuition, you know,

00:11:12.700 any of that stuff you can put in the nuptial agreement. Number seven is alimony. So you can,

00:11:16.840 you can write it in there and say, look, if I'm the breadwinner, you're not. If I'm raising your

00:11:21.000 three kids, what about income? I have not been working for four years. So my market value has

00:11:24.940 dropped. How am I protected to get an income? That's a very good argument. So you got to put it

00:11:28.980 down. I totally understand if that does happen, here's what we would do. You know, depending on what

00:11:33.260 income I'm making at that time, I don't know what income I'm going to make. What if we lose everything?

00:11:36.980 What if I filed bankruptcy? It has to be different based on the amount of money that I have

00:11:40.880 in the amount of money that I make. You can't put me in a corner, you know, put me in a corner

00:11:44.900 where I'm going to be filing bankruptcy, losing everything. And I have to live in a one bedroom

00:11:48.120 apartment because 90% of my income is going to you. Everything has to be written in a way

00:11:52.480 that neither the income earners getting destroyed, nor the individuals that's taking care of the kids.

00:11:58.080 It has to be fair to the party based on the current financial situation they are when the potential

00:12:04.180 divorce happens. Point number eight is to protect your inheritance. Let's just say you come from a

00:12:08.260 wealthy family, your dad, your mom, they have money, 50 million bucks, a hundred million bucks,

00:12:12.540 10 million bucks, a billion dollars, whatever the number may be. Say, look, I'm protecting against

00:12:16.980 this because sometimes the parents want you to get an upshot agreement because they're concerned

00:12:22.300 that the spouse may be trying to get to that money. So in many cases, family may say, we'll fund

00:12:28.660 your wedding, but you have to have an upshot agreement. And in the agreement, your inheritance

00:12:32.220 going to your grandkids. Of course, some of that has to do with a trust and how you write your

00:12:36.920 living trust. But in the nuptial, you can protect yourself to say, whatever inheritance I'm getting

00:12:42.080 from my family, that's coming to me, not to you. I can give it to the kids, but it's to me and the

00:12:47.320 kids, not to you. Whether it's the wife who's married to, who's got a family that's wealthy or

00:12:52.040 the husband, that is also sometimes written in an upshot agreement. I'm going to give you a bonus

00:12:56.140 point. It's not really one of the eight, but the bonus point is you can update your nuptial agreement

00:12:59.740 every five years. Say you're married and you're like, you know what? He helped me a lot with my

00:13:03.280 company that I was running before him. I think he deserves 10% equity in the company.

00:13:07.700 I think she deserves 10%. She's actually helped me grow that company. Hey, I want to change it up.

00:13:11.960 What do you want to do? I want to give 10% of the company too, because without you, the company would

00:13:15.520 have gone to where it's at right now. That's awesome. It actually works the other way as well.

00:13:20.140 The more the person's earning trust of you or the other, you can choose to adjust the nuptial

00:13:24.440 agreement. There is nothing wrong with that. You can do that at any point because both parties are not

00:13:29.400 working to say, look, and the whole purpose of nuptial is say, look, man, I really want to be

00:13:33.300 with you. I'm telling you, I'm fully committed. I'm in it. I'm not with you for your money. I want

00:13:39.220 to build a life with you. That's what I want to do. Okay. And I cannot believe the last five years

00:13:45.760 life wouldn't be where it's at without you. So guess what? Let's change it up. That happens all the

00:13:50.660 time as well. Now I've done this myself, but that happens all the time as well, when it comes down to

00:13:54.460 nuptial agreement. So now if you're still watching this and your husband first watched it, then he

00:13:59.420 said, babe, I think you should watch this video and see what Pat has to say. Or if you watch and

00:14:04.040 say, babe, you told your husband, I think you need to watch this together. And some part of it right

00:14:08.220 now is like, I don't know if I agree with him on that. I don't know if I agree with him on that,

00:14:10.960 but I agree what he said there. I'd agree with what he said. My entire MO with nuptial agreements

00:14:16.860 is to prevent future arguments. Marriage is very, very, very hard, but to be married and to have

00:14:27.280 a kid is very hard, let alone two or three or four, then throw in in-laws, throw health issues,

00:14:32.820 throw travel, throw taxes, throw finances, throw market change, throw people getting fired, throw

00:14:38.160 all of those things in there and say, Hey, go ahead and make your marriage work. No wonder

00:14:42.960 first marriages, divorce ends up at 41% of marriages end up at a divorce. No wonder second 0.95

00:14:48.680 is 60, third marriages are 73 because it's hard. But if we do it right up front, we got

00:14:54.500 a fighting chance of making our marriage work. So two things, if you do want to get the PDF

00:14:58.920 of today's episode, click on a link below in the description, you'll be able to get it.

00:15:02.040 And on top of that, if you enjoyed this topic, this video, I've got another one I want you to

00:15:05.440 watch. It's a video I shot maybe five, six years ago, titled 15 things to know before

00:15:10.900 dating an entrepreneur. Click here to watch that. Take care, everybody. Bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye.

Valuetainment - October 03, 2022

Why A Prenup Is The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Marriage

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