Valuetainment - Why Nice Guys Miss Out On BIG Opportunities

00:00:00.000 So stick around to the very end so we can give you the PDF of where you rank as a nice guy,

00:00:03.700 because the complete opposite of being a nice guy, it's what? It's mean, unpleasant, asshole, 1.00

00:00:09.060 pestering, many words we can use for it. But what does it mean to be a nice guy? And why does it 1.00

00:00:14.820 suck to be a nice guy? I mean, let's just, what's wrong with that, right? I want to be a nice guy.

00:00:18.700 You want to be a nice guy. Here's the reality of it. And it's one thing that nice guys don't do.

00:00:23.620 And this applies to everything in life, but nice guys, when you stay nice in everything you do,

00:00:28.680 you simply miss a lot of opportunities, whether it's dating, whether it's career,

00:00:34.340 whether it's investments, whether it's a lot of things, just because you're worried about

00:00:39.680 something you do could potentially offend somebody. So let's look at this pendulum here together.

00:00:51.000 So on the far left, on the screen that you're looking at, you see the nice guy on the far right,

00:00:56.100 it shows pestering. The next level after nice is somebody who is timid, right? They're in a room,

00:01:01.920 they have thoughts, they want to do things. In their minds, they're role playing that a

00:01:06.140 conversation they're having with somebody, or they're wanting to present something, or wanting

00:01:10.400 to say something, but they don't, because they're timid. In their mind, they said it. In their mind,

00:01:14.440 they said what the other person said. But what happens in their mind doesn't play out in real life.

00:01:19.060 So timid, it's going to be very hard to win in business and in life if you're going to be timid

00:01:22.460 constantly. The next one is somebody who's very confident. There's a lot of confident people who

00:01:26.320 are nice. They're not insecure. They don't second guess themselves. They're just quiet,

00:01:30.260 and they're confident, but they don't do one thing. And you ready? They don't ask. They simply

00:01:35.320 don't ask, even though they're confident, even though they may be the sharpest cat in the room,

00:01:39.420 even though they may have a lot to offer, but they're just confidently quiet. Even though

00:01:44.920 they're confidently quiet, they're missing out on a lot of different opportunities. Then right in the

00:01:49.260 middle of somebody that's very rational. Here's how they think to themselves. If I were to ask the

00:01:52.900 question, they're probably going to say this. So there's no point in me asking a question because

00:01:55.860 I already know what the answer to the question is going to be. I'm not going to be asking the

00:01:59.020 question. They're probably not going to be doing business with us because rationally, this doesn't

00:02:03.000 make any sense to ask. Versus you don't know. You're assuming. You don't know if they're going to say

00:02:07.660 yes to your product. You don't know if she's going to say yes to going out with you. You don't know any of

00:02:11.260 that. The only way you know is if you do what? Is if you ask. Now we're going into the space

00:02:17.080 where you're going to have more opportunities, but also you know what comes with more opportunities?

00:02:21.160 Also more rejections. So the next level is somebody that's assertive. Now you're going into good space.

00:02:26.560 Assertive is somebody that's very comfortable asserting themselves in a conversation. Asserting

00:02:32.200 themselves in an event to be talking to people. Hi, I'm John. I like your suit. What's your name?

00:02:36.940 What do you do for a living? Are you from here? Where are you from? Oh wow, how do you know

00:02:40.280 Billy with the party that he put together? How do you know Mary? How far you go back with Mary?

00:02:44.880 Very interesting. What do you do for business? You're assertive. You're able to have those types

00:02:48.780 of conversations, right? When you're being assertive. The next one after assertive is

00:02:53.100 you're able to challenge and push back a little bit. So now what does it mean to challenge and

00:02:57.140 push back? You know, like for example, imagine you're sitting at a table and there's eight people

00:03:01.140 talking there and everyone's talking about the fact that who's the greatest basketball player

00:03:05.220 of all time? Or who's the greatest president of all time? Or why did what happened to COVID here?

00:03:09.440 Oh, the debate on faith, religion, business, politics, sports, cars. What's the fastest car in the world?

00:03:14.620 What's the best exotic car in the world? And I think it's a Ferrari. I think it's a Lambo. I

00:03:17.760 think it's a this. And you could sit there and be rational, not say anything, but somebody could

00:03:22.720 say the following. You know what, John? I understand where you're going, but I have to push back. Let

00:03:26.680 me explain to you why. It depends if you like a Lambo. Most buyers of Lamborghini, da, da, da, da, da.

00:03:32.840 Most buyers of Ferrari are this. And then the other person can come back and say, yeah, I understand

00:03:36.560 what you're saying. I know the history, but I'm telling you, Aston Martin is this. So forget about the thing.

00:03:40.680 It's done. You push back a little bit. Everybody goes in their cars. They leave this party. Everyone's

00:03:45.760 having a cigar. They're having a drink. Whatever it may be. When they go in the car, those 10 people

00:03:51.360 in the car are going to say, what do you think about what he said when he pushed back? And he

00:03:56.680 said, Aston Martin. I disagree with him. He actually has a good point, but they're talking about you

00:04:01.340 because you challenge and you push back. Now you're a topic of discussion. That's the benefit of being

00:04:07.640 assertive and challenging and pushing back instead of being timid or confident or quiet

00:04:13.500 or rational or nice. You're missing out on many opportunities because those 10 people,

00:04:19.860 when they go to the next party, you know what everyone's going to ask? Is such and such going

00:04:23.920 to be there? Oh yeah, he's coming. I can't wait to see him again. Oh, hey, what's up Aston Martin guy?

00:04:29.200 No matter what, they remember you. You're memorable, right? If you're on this side. Now,

00:04:32.840 can you go past challenging and push back and be a little bit too much? Yes. That's when you go into

00:04:39.900 the pestering mode. And when you go into the pestering mode, now you're annoying. Now you're a

00:04:44.840 little too much. Now people don't want to be around people that pester, right? There's a level that you

00:04:50.020 go a little bit too much where you're overly doing it. Like I'll do some business meetings and some

00:04:54.760 people sit and I'm like, oh my God, I understand how much money this person's spending. I don't want his

00:04:58.560 money because he's pestering. He's distracting the audience. But I love this other guy, how assertive

00:05:02.600 he is. I love this guy that he pushes back and says, I disagree. I would have hired this person

00:05:06.800 because that creates for dialogue. This person just trying to get attention. They need to call

00:05:11.200 their mom and go to a different event. These people need to be in the event because they make

00:05:15.160 the meeting better and they make everybody smarter. So, Mr. or Mrs. Nice person that you are,

00:05:22.380 I got a challenge for you. Maybe start asking some questions. Maybe start kind of pushing back a

00:05:28.840 little bit and you'll find yourself finding more newer opportunities. People are going to push back.

00:05:34.560 You may have some more rejections, but some tells me you're going to enter a whole new world of

00:05:39.200 opportunities that you didn't have before just being a nice guy. So now look, whether you're a nice guy

00:05:44.200 and you're trying to be a little bit more assertive or you're the asshole and you're trying to be less 1.00

00:05:47.700 of an asshole, you want to be more assertive side. Regardless, if you're consuming this content, 0.99

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Valuetainment - November 15, 2022

Why Nice Guys Miss Out On BIG Opportunities

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