Valuetainment - June 21, 2022


Why The Best Mentors Are Busy & How to Find Them


Episode Stats


Length

15 minutes

Words per minute

218.10547

Word count

3,324

Sentence count

218

Harmful content

Misogyny

1

sentences flagged

Toxicity

1

sentences flagged

Hate speech

1

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Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about the benefits of a good mentor and how to approach them so that they can help you grow your business and become a better version of yourself. We also talk about why you should have a mentor and why you need one.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.280 So today we're going to talk about three aspects of mentorship.
00:00:02.780 One is how mentors can help change your life, then different levels of mentorship, and last
00:00:07.880 but not least, how for you to approach a mentor so hopefully they can mentor you.
00:00:20.560 So stick around to the very end to get the PDF of everything we're talking about today
00:00:23.800 in regards to mentoring.
00:00:24.800 So let me get right into it.
00:00:26.320 The number one point in why and how a mentor can change your life.
00:00:30.220 It's really the most important point is speed.
00:00:34.020 Here's what I mean by speed.
00:00:35.420 The right mentor can teach you what you can learn in two years and six months.
00:00:40.460 The question becomes where a lot of people say, you don't need a mentor.
00:00:43.820 You can still win without a mentor.
00:00:45.840 Are they wrong?
00:00:46.840 No.
00:00:47.840 They're absolutely right.
00:00:48.840 However, what you can do on your own and figuring out on your own by taking whatever books you
00:00:55.560 read and all this other stuff and no one-on-one relationship with a mentor?
00:00:59.840 That may take you 12 years.
00:01:01.700 That may take you 15 years.
00:01:03.260 But with the right mentor, you may do it in six years or five years or four years.
00:01:07.680 The main difference is you're condensing timeframes if you have the right mentor and you're lengthening
00:01:14.840 it if you try to do it all on your own.
00:01:17.260 Number two, the right mentor gives you a safe zone.
00:01:19.600 Very similar to how Matt Damon in the movie Good Will Hunting finally felt safe around
00:01:24.840 Robin Williams and he opened up.
00:01:26.740 The right mentor is going to make you feel that way.
00:01:28.380 You can be vulnerable and really have deeper conversations with them to help you elevate
00:01:32.340 to the next level.
00:01:33.540 There's a brother and a sister team that I'm mentoring.
00:01:38.280 They run a medical billing business themselves and they're doing very well but the older 1.00
00:01:44.000 sister and the younger brother, six years or so, they have a fighting going on between
00:01:49.040 two of them and the younger brother is the CEO and she's the CEO and they're fighting.
00:01:53.860 It's like, well, sometimes she's condescending towards me and all this other stuff and I have
00:01:58.460 these fears and insecurities and she messes with my ego.
00:02:01.460 You see, you can't talk about that publicly with other people.
00:02:03.920 You need an outlet to have that conversation with them and we addressed it and they understood
00:02:08.980 how to go about it and they moved on and their business is growing, they're doing well.
00:02:13.400 Those types of conversations has to be had somewhere because if you just try to bottle
00:02:18.400 it in with your partner and you can't really get past it, you're going to hit a plateau
00:02:21.980 every time.
00:02:22.980 So, the other benefit of having a great mentor is you can process issues with a person that
00:02:28.920 you feel safe talking to them about.
00:02:31.040 Point number three, the right coaches always give you an out, meaning it's a binary.
00:02:35.260 They'll give you their feedback and they'll say, look, here's what I would do if I'm in
00:02:38.400 your situation.
00:02:39.400 You don't have to do this.
00:02:40.400 You have these choices.
00:02:41.400 You can do this.
00:02:42.400 You can do this.
00:02:43.400 You can do this.
00:02:44.400 If you do this, these are the consequences.
00:02:45.980 These are the positives.
00:02:46.980 If you do this, these are the consequences.
00:02:48.860 If you do this, this is what's going to happen.
00:02:50.700 Which way do you want to go?
00:02:51.700 Let's process it together and you go from there.
00:02:53.600 But the right mentors are not going to give you this, they're going to give you multiple ways to
00:02:58.480 get to where you want to go to and then you're going to have to make a decision which route
00:03:02.100 you want to take.
00:03:03.360 Point number four, the right mentor is not afraid of challenging you.
00:03:06.140 Simple as that.
00:03:07.140 They'll say to you, yeah, I think you're just making excuses.
00:03:09.140 They're like, what?
00:03:10.140 Yeah, I think you're making excuses.
00:03:11.260 I think you're afraid.
00:03:12.260 What do you mean?
00:03:13.260 Yeah, I think you're being lazy. 0.81
00:03:14.940 I think you're being cocky, right?
00:03:15.940 You've been making a lot of money and quite frankly, I think you forgot who you were.
00:03:21.200 I think you think you're better than your employees.
00:03:23.520 And you totally forgot about what it was like to build a company when you were smaller.
00:03:27.160 What happened to you?
00:03:28.160 Do you not sit there and talk about the vision and the mission of the company anymore?
00:03:32.440 I feel like you've gone a little bit too much about just money and the lifestyle and all
00:03:35.740 this stuff.
00:03:36.740 You've forgotten what really matters.
00:03:38.460 Why you started this company in the first place.
00:03:40.160 I can't believe you said that to me.
00:03:41.560 I'm not trying to make you a friend.
00:03:42.920 I'm not trying to make you happy.
00:03:44.760 Not going to sit here and tell you you're amazing all the time.
00:03:47.220 I'm telling you, you're getting in your own way right now.
00:03:50.580 Go back and read the original reason why you started this company so you can remember
00:03:55.580 it was hard.
00:03:57.580 Then came logic.
00:03:58.580 Now you're only thinking.
00:03:59.580 They're willing to have a conversation like that with you.
00:04:02.920 Great mentors will do that to you and most of the time you're going to feel a little bit
00:04:07.140 uncomfortable with the right mentors.
00:04:09.080 So point number five, say you get a new mentor and you start getting close to this mentor.
00:04:13.840 The more you get closer to this advisor, mentor, whatever you want to call it, eventually you're
00:04:19.460 going to get access to their circle.
00:04:22.460 So their contacts of people they do business with is now yours as well.
00:04:27.340 By the way, typically the best mentors are a little bit protective of giving the access
00:04:32.520 too early because they don't know what your motives are yet.
00:04:36.980 Maybe they'll watch you a little bit and then they'll give you a little bit of a sprinkle
00:04:40.220 of access and you're like, okay, that was kind of cool, but they're not yet sprinkling
00:04:43.960 the real access that you got.
00:04:45.460 And then eventually you're like, oh, okay, I've really earned this person's trust.
00:04:50.820 Then they open it up.
00:04:52.080 Once they open up their access of their contacts to you, you go from living in a world like
00:04:56.900 this to living in a world like this.
00:04:59.100 So there is just as much pressure on you to deliver on you being serious to commit to
00:05:08.240 your mentor and work your advisor because if you don't, they're going to go find somebody
00:05:11.480 else.
00:05:12.480 Great mentors don't lack mentees.
00:05:14.700 It's mentees that lack great mentors.
00:05:16.920 The market is very much looking for great mentors.
00:05:20.940 Mentees are everywhere.
00:05:22.940 Everybody's asking, can you mentor me?
00:05:24.200 Can you mentor me?
00:05:25.200 Can you mentor me?
00:05:26.200 Can you mentor me from great mentors?
00:05:27.200 Everybody is.
00:05:28.200 But the mentors hand select.
00:05:29.200 So once you go in, you earn the right to be mentored by them, you're going to get access
00:05:33.260 to who they have, which can completely change your life.
00:05:35.960 Point number six is style.
00:05:37.200 If you ever notice someone's style of how they are, how they communicate, how they process issues,
00:05:42.140 how they solve problems, and you go and find out who mentored them, you will notice similarity
00:05:47.700 with the style of play.
00:05:49.380 Okay?
00:05:50.380 Style of decision making.
00:05:51.380 This isn't baseball.
00:05:52.380 This isn't sports.
00:05:53.380 This isn't business.
00:05:54.380 Raising money.
00:05:55.380 This isn't anything that you pretty much do.
00:05:58.180 You're going to get that person's style of leadership.
00:06:00.440 So the right mentor style, if they mentor you long enough, you essentially are taking
00:06:06.940 and receiving their style of processing that you start implementing to your life.
00:06:10.620 And by the way, what's crazy about it is 6, 12, 24, 36 months from now, when you start
00:06:15.380 picking that up, all of a sudden you'll do something.
00:06:17.620 You'll say, oh my God, that's what she does. 0.98
00:06:20.380 Well, wow, that's what, that's crazy, I'm naturally now doing it and I'm not even aware
00:06:25.040 of it.
00:06:26.040 That's what's going to happen if you've got the right mentor.
00:06:27.820 So point number seven is the right mentor gives you a different lens.
00:06:30.620 Meaning, if you have this lens, you see the world, and you put the lens of a mentor over,
00:06:35.000 then all of a sudden you're seeing things you're not seeing anymore because they're creative
00:06:38.140 in the way they do things.
00:06:39.140 Meaning, there are creative ways on how for you to raise 10 million bucks, but you didn't
00:06:43.140 have that before.
00:06:44.640 They'll share with you creative ways on how to hire the right CFO you're trying to hire that
00:06:49.260 you didn't have before.
00:06:50.720 The creative ways I'll have for you to expand in a new market that you didn't know how to
00:06:55.820 do before.
00:06:56.820 Launch a new product that you didn't know how to do before.
00:06:59.100 Build a new division that you didn't know how to do before.
00:07:02.560 Because they'll allow you to borrow their lens and they're creative in the way they got to
00:07:06.580 where they're at right now.
00:07:07.580 So the right mentor will share with you creative ways of getting things that you want now.
00:07:13.340 Point number eight is when you borrow an advisor's way of thinking.
00:07:16.480 A crisis that was a nine before is all of a sudden a five.
00:07:19.960 A crisis that would make you lose sleep at night, oh my god, it's the end of the world.
00:07:24.040 They're like, no.
00:07:25.040 Here's all you need to do.
00:07:26.040 Boom, boom, boom.
00:07:27.040 Oh.
00:07:28.040 So it's not an eight?
00:07:29.040 No, it's a four.
00:07:30.040 Oh, got it.
00:07:31.040 Okay.
00:07:32.040 So let me go ahead and do that.
00:07:33.040 So while you feel like it's the end of the world, they make you feel it's okay, it's part
00:07:38.120 of the process.
00:07:39.380 And here's what you need to do, which makes you be a little bit more poised and you make better
00:07:43.320 decisions, not at a place of reacting and emotional, but at a place of reason, logic,
00:07:48.320 and vision.
00:07:49.320 Point number nine is very simple.
00:07:50.320 It's accountability.
00:07:51.320 If you have a great leader that's not afraid of holding you accountable, you're going to
00:07:53.840 improve in areas that you're not paying attention to.
00:07:56.080 It's that simple.
00:07:57.320 You need accountability and the best mentors are great at holding people accountable.
00:08:02.320 Point number 10 is there's levels to mentorship.
00:08:04.080 Okay, let me explain to you what I mean by this.
00:08:05.960 I may be a great, a specialized mentor in an area of business, right?
00:08:11.280 But if you ask me to be your mentor to teach you piano, I'm a zero.
00:08:14.680 I don't know how to play the piano.
00:08:16.240 I may be a great mentor in an area of you saying, Pat, I want to go out there and figure
00:08:21.160 out about how to market and tell my story better as a company to go get a half a million
00:08:25.480 clients.
00:08:26.480 Okay, that's my specialty.
00:08:27.480 That's what I've done.
00:08:28.480 We have nearly a half a million insurance clients over the last 12 and a half years.
00:08:32.200 I know how to show you how to do that because that's my area of expertise.
00:08:35.760 Ask me how to edit a video.
00:08:37.200 I have no clue how to edit a video except for my phone when I'm making small stuff for
00:08:40.860 TikTok and Instagram, right?
00:08:42.560 So again, your mentor may be great in the way I would put it for you to visually see it.
00:08:49.880 Put yourself as areas that you're an expert at and score them.
00:08:54.720 So say, okay, in the game of soccer, I'm a six.
00:08:57.000 I played in high school.
00:08:58.000 I played a little college.
00:08:59.000 Okay, great.
00:09:00.000 Baseball, I'm a five.
00:09:01.000 Okay?
00:09:02.000 Raising money, I'm a zero.
00:09:04.000 Coding, I'm an eight.
00:09:05.440 Okay?
00:09:06.440 Finances and accounting, I'm a five.
00:09:08.440 Okay?
00:09:09.440 When it comes down to sales and negotiation, I'm a nine.
00:09:12.600 That's your area of expertise, right?
00:09:13.880 The same way with mentors you want to work with, the key is to find as specialized as
00:09:19.880 possible rather than generalized.
00:09:23.880 Here's one thing you need to know as well.
00:09:25.880 As you're newer and you're coming up, you're typically not going to get the best coaches
00:09:29.440 and mentors.
00:09:30.320 One, because you can't afford it.
00:09:32.480 Two, you haven't yet proven yourself that you're ready to compete at that level.
00:09:37.040 Three, even if you got that best mentor to mentor you, you would not have a clue what
00:09:41.480 they're talking about.
00:09:42.320 For example, imagine if you're a 12-year-old kid who just started playing basketball three
00:09:47.440 months ago and you say, I want to go find the best mentor, where's Phil Jackson?
00:09:51.820 And Phil Jackson starts talking to a 12-year-old kid about triangle offense.
00:09:55.640 Your son's like, Mom, what the hell was this man talking about?
00:09:59.760 He kept talking about triangle the entire time.
00:10:02.220 What is a triangle offense?
00:10:03.460 I don't know what it is.
00:10:04.460 I don't think this basketball thing is for me, right?
00:10:06.760 Versus that 12-year-old kid could have learned how to play basketball by a sophomore in high
00:10:11.040 school could have told them how to dribble and how to do crossover and how to shoot and
00:10:14.880 you know, elbow all the basic stuff, right?
00:10:18.020 So some of you are so eager about finding the best mentor too early, even if you got him
00:10:23.760 or her, you would not be able to get the most out of them.
00:10:26.760 First, you got to climb up the ladder and learn the basics and maybe a little bit more
00:10:30.380 about the basics.
00:10:31.380 Then you need the higher laws, then the specialized mentor starts showing up.
00:10:35.200 So there's the understanding of knowing what is the difference between a generalized mentor
00:10:40.600 and a specialized mentor.
00:10:42.180 By the way, in regards to the mentoring with specialized, let's just say eventually you
00:10:45.220 end up finding a specialized mentor.
00:10:47.440 The guys that are kind of people that everybody wants to be mentored by.
00:10:51.120 Say you're lucky enough and fortunate enough to get one of those people, great.
00:10:54.080 Here's the sensitivity part of it that it's unspoken, not a lot of people talk about
00:10:57.680 that.
00:10:58.680 I just want to kind of give it to you.
00:10:59.680 If you do get a person like them mentoring you, if they sense all of a sudden that you're
00:11:04.260 no longer coachable, learning, implementing, they give you a challenge of an article to
00:11:09.080 read, a book to read, a video to watch, something to study and you no longer do it, they disappear
00:11:14.600 like this and they move on.
00:11:16.260 And then you'll try to get a hold of them and you're like, well wait a minute, when
00:11:19.080 I used to call him five times, he used to answer the call four out of five times.
00:11:22.660 Yeah.
00:11:23.660 Now I call him five times, he only answers one out of five times.
00:11:26.240 Is that intentional?
00:11:28.280 It is.
00:11:29.280 Just so you know that.
00:11:30.280 That's very intentional.
00:11:31.280 Because it's not like they're doing it, oh, it's five, four out of five, no.
00:11:35.800 It's just in their mind, they don't want to talk to somebody where they feel like they're
00:11:41.320 forcing them to do something that they no longer want to do.
00:11:44.620 They don't want to be a pest to somebody else.
00:11:48.100 And they feel if you're no longer taking a feedback and you're no longer willing to be
00:11:51.480 a student, no problem.
00:11:52.900 I don't want to be a pest.
00:11:53.900 I don't want to challenge you or push you anymore.
00:11:55.800 Go do what you want to do.
00:11:56.800 It's all good.
00:11:57.800 I got to move on.
00:11:58.800 You got to be aware of that with specialized mentors.
00:12:02.200 They're not going to wait too long if you don't show the hunger that you once had to
00:12:06.720 learn from them.
00:12:08.260 So now in regards to approaching a mentor, I will tell you, I've done this to many, many
00:12:11.720 different people throughout my life and I'll tell you what's worked and what's didn't.
00:12:15.580 I reached out to a mentor of mine, Dudley Rutherford.
00:12:18.180 I went and heard him speak at a church and I said, I want this guy as a mentor.
00:12:22.140 And I emailed them in the email and I said, I'd like to get closer to you.
00:12:26.700 At that time I was 25 years old and I said, I don't have much to offer to you today, but
00:12:30.900 I promise you I'm working on myself to be able to return any kind of value you're going
00:12:36.620 to give me.
00:12:37.620 I'm going to do my best to give it back to you.
00:12:39.480 I knew when I sent the first email, I'm probably not going to hear back from him because I just
00:12:44.180 know that's kind of how this works.
00:12:45.640 He's got 20,000 members.
00:12:47.600 They want his time.
00:12:48.600 I'm one person and I have nothing to offer in return.
00:12:52.160 Well, took a year and a half after multiple follow up where he responded back.
00:12:57.340 We had lunch.
00:12:58.340 We got close.
00:12:59.340 The rest is history.
00:13:00.560 I changed my wedding day just so he could marry me.
00:13:03.220 He sat on my board.
00:13:04.480 He made a very nice video, something he had never done for a company before ever.
00:13:09.360 And to the point where that video was like, why would you do this for him?
00:13:12.180 You haven't done this video for any other business owner in the entire San Fernando Valley.
00:13:16.120 And that video is still out there.
00:13:17.120 We can take a look at it.
00:13:18.820 And then from there, by the way, no money was given, nothing to the church, I'll give
00:13:22.620 you money to do, zero, nothing.
00:13:25.940 And then the relationship became a friendship.
00:13:27.980 And anytime he asked me for stuff that he wants, to the best of my abilities, I go above
00:13:31.680 and beyond to help him out, family, himself, son, no matter what it is, right?
00:13:35.420 So you approach the higher level, you approach knowing they may not follow up with you because
00:13:43.360 there's more of you than him or her.
00:13:46.320 The mistake a lot of times people make is, I can't believe I emailed him three times,
00:13:50.300 he hasn't gotten back to me.
00:13:51.660 Well, guess what?
00:13:53.280 If that's the approach you have with the person that doesn't get back to you, maybe you're
00:13:56.800 not cut out to get to the next level in business in the first place.
00:14:00.480 To address and approach the right mentor requires a lot of patience from your end until they say,
00:14:05.320 yes.
00:14:06.320 And once they do, you best exchange value, you best bring value, you best keep your
00:14:11.320 word.
00:14:12.320 If you got a meeting at four with them, show up at 345.
00:14:15.600 Every time you leave a meeting with them, send them a book, send them a gift, send them
00:14:18.940 a card, send them something so where they're like, oh my God, this guy's on top of this
00:14:23.120 stuff.
00:14:24.120 I've mentored a lot of different people.
00:14:25.120 Nobody is this hungry about wanting to learn from me as this guy.
00:14:29.000 I've never met anybody like this before.
00:14:31.120 They admire other hungry people because that's how they used to be when they were coming up
00:14:36.780 as a mentee, learning from a mentor.
00:14:39.720 So that's the approach I suggest you take with them.
00:14:42.960 And eventually, hopefully the people that you want mentoring you, eventually some of them
00:14:46.520 will say yes to you because the right ones can change your life.
00:14:49.080 So if you want the entire message I give to you in a PDF, click on the link below to get
00:14:52.140 the whole thing in a PDF, as well as if you do want to watch a video a little bit more
00:14:55.540 in the content like this, I gave a talk a few months ago in regards to what makes the difference
00:15:02.320 between those in the top 1% that win at the highest level and the rest that don't.
00:15:05.940 If you've not watched that talk before, click here to watch that video.
00:15:08.960 It's called Will vs. Want.
00:15:11.420 With that being said, have a great day everybody.
00:15:12.420 Take care.
00:15:13.420 Bye-bye.