Verdict with Ted Cruz - The Birthday Show

00:00:00.000 This is an iHeart Podcast.

00:00:02.660 Guaranteed human.

00:00:07.740 Welcome, it is Verdict with Senator Ted Cruz,

00:00:09.960 Ben Ferguson with you.

00:00:11.160 We've got a few more days until Christmas

00:00:13.520 and we've got a couple of shows left.

00:00:16.060 We're gonna be talking about some really big issues,

00:00:18.360 including, I think, the most shocking,

00:00:20.580 and that is just how old Senator Ted Cruz is.

00:00:24.760 As of today, I did not know

00:00:27.080 that I was gonna have a 55-year-old elder friend.

00:00:30.500 This is Seniors Coffee is real now.

00:00:32.620 You can get that.

00:00:33.500 You can, I think, get assistance at the airport

00:00:35.560 without even needing a medical condition

00:00:37.320 for one of those walkers now.

00:00:38.720 That's exciting.

00:00:39.880 I'm not gonna push you through there,

00:00:41.320 but I'll get someone to hold the sign up for you.

00:00:43.160 What other benefits do you get, Senator?

00:00:44.900 I mean, 55, 55.

00:00:48.600 Listen, Skippy.

00:00:51.040 I'm in my 40s.

00:00:52.400 I'm not 45, I'm 44.

00:00:54.120 We're 11 years apart right now.

00:00:57.000 Laddie, you need to learn to respect your elders.

00:01:00.620 Do I need to talk louder to you?

00:01:02.320 Is that what you're saying?

00:01:03.360 What?

00:01:03.380 What?

00:01:03.700 Respecting your elders?

00:01:04.280 Sorry, what?

00:01:04.860 Get off my lawn.

00:01:06.140 Okay, I said get off my lawn at 25.

00:01:11.100 I think you came out of the womb.

00:01:12.740 I think you came out of the womb saying,

00:01:14.300 get off my lawn, sir. 0.86

00:01:15.180 I think we could call your mom right now

00:01:17.120 and she would verify that.

00:01:18.300 All right, what was that Clint Eastwood movie,

00:01:19.900 I forget with the name,

00:01:20.720 where he's this crotchety old man 0.83

00:01:22.100 with the, like, Trans Am?

00:01:24.000 I forget what it was.

00:01:24.820 Oh, it's a great movie.

00:01:26.700 It's a great movie, anyway.

00:01:28.020 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:01:28.460 It's a great, you know, Heidi laughs at me

00:01:31.180 because I would drive along in Austin,

00:01:33.360 this is 20 years ago,

00:01:34.260 long before I was elected to the Senate,

00:01:35.540 I'd drive along and I'd see protesters

00:01:37.080 screaming about something

00:01:38.180 and I'd want to stop and argue with them.

00:01:40.180 Yeah.

00:01:40.380 She'd just like, just stop it.

00:01:41.500 And I'm like, well, no, I don't want to.

00:01:43.300 But I will say,

00:01:44.760 double nickel is kind of interesting.

00:01:47.120 55, so I am now officially eligible for AARP.

00:01:50.860 I'll tell you what I tell all my friends

00:01:53.000 when they turn a birthday,

00:01:55.200 so now that I am, as of December 22nd,

00:01:58.000 officially 55 years old,

00:02:00.000 as terrifying as this is,

00:02:02.400 I am closer to the age 110

00:02:04.780 than I am to birth.

00:02:07.100 Yes, that is true.

00:02:08.940 And by the way,

00:02:09.860 when, like, someone turns 25

00:02:12.500 and you tell them they're closer to 50

00:02:14.260 than to birth,

00:02:15.360 it freaks them out.

00:02:16.300 I mean, it really is,

00:02:17.420 it's a terrifying way of framing it.

00:02:20.600 I will tell you,

00:02:21.260 my older sister, Miriam,

00:02:23.440 nine years older than I am,

00:02:25.220 when she turned 30,

00:02:26.180 so I was just 21,

00:02:27.800 I actually called a local flower shop

00:02:30.460 and I sent a bouquet of balloons

00:02:32.560 to her office.

00:02:34.120 And the bouquet of balloons

00:02:35.780 on her 30th birthday,

00:02:37.460 the card said,

00:02:39.240 happy 40th, big sis.

00:02:41.800 And I will say,

00:02:42.900 she called me up on my cell phone

00:02:44.440 and she said,

00:02:45.120 and I apologize for the language,

00:02:46.460 but this is my sister, Miriam,

00:02:47.920 she says, 1.00

00:02:48.660 you little s***. 1.00

00:02:50.220 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:02:51.200 So somehow she didn't appreciate

00:02:53.960 my saying she was 40

00:02:55.020 when she was 30.

00:02:56.140 So you may think 40 is really young,

00:02:58.560 but I gotta say,

00:02:59.840 our viewers,

00:03:01.240 we've got teenagers

00:03:02.080 and folks in their 20s

00:03:03.320 and I gotta tell you right now,

00:03:04.920 you know what they're saying

00:03:05.540 to you, Benjamin?

00:03:06.780 They're saying,

00:03:07.360 okay, boomer. 1.00

00:03:08.920 Okay, boomer, that's true.

00:03:10.320 Just be clear,

00:03:12.020 you are fully on the geriatric side

00:03:14.040 of things.

00:03:14.580 I just can't wait

00:03:15.580 to see what new sponsors

00:03:16.860 I can go solicit

00:03:18.240 and they're gonna be like,

00:03:19.600 let's see,

00:03:20.580 Gray Inn,

00:03:21.540 they're gonna be,

00:03:22.620 oh, hearing aids for sure.

00:03:24.740 We gotta get that in here real quick.

00:03:26.300 Yeah, I'm excited.

00:03:27.440 This opens up a whole new world

00:03:29.280 to this show.

00:03:30.460 I cannot wait

00:03:31.700 to talk about my older friends.

00:03:33.500 Yeah, yeah,

00:03:33.840 I have to admit,

00:03:34.680 I've also been sort of a mean friend.

00:03:36.880 A buddy of mine

00:03:37.440 turned 40 a number of years ago

00:03:38.880 and I had two presents for him.

00:03:40.580 I got him some Metamucil

00:03:41.800 so he'd be nice and regular

00:03:42.880 and I got him some Viagra

00:03:45.040 which I knew he would never need

00:03:46.240 but I was just trying

00:03:47.820 to look out for him.

00:03:49.040 You gotta be there

00:03:50.300 for your friends.

00:03:51.220 This is amazing.

00:03:53.220 After all the you-know-what

00:03:54.460 you've given me

00:03:55.140 about Ole Miss,

00:03:55.980 by the way,

00:03:56.520 this is just

00:03:57.300 this is just

00:03:59.360 Jesus giving me a gift.

00:04:00.700 So happy 55th birthday.

00:04:02.600 Sorry, I didn't say that louder.

00:04:03.740 Happy 55th birthday over there.

00:04:06.220 I'm excited for you.

00:04:07.360 And I want to congratulate

00:04:08.520 on Ole Miss.

00:04:10.320 Did you see this?

00:04:11.340 Second round.

00:04:11.860 For Lane to get

00:04:13.680 such a big bonus.

00:04:14.940 Like, you guys really take care

00:04:16.920 of people who leave you

00:04:18.320 at the altar.

00:04:19.100 Like, holy cow.

00:04:19.700 I mean, you know what?

00:04:20.520 I just love that we beat Tulane

00:04:22.420 by more than we did

00:04:23.840 when we beat them

00:04:24.460 in the regular season

00:04:25.120 with them being our coach.

00:04:26.300 We are in the second round.

00:04:27.800 That's a big deal.

00:04:28.640 And then, look,

00:04:29.100 there's an exciting moment.

00:04:30.200 We'll get to play.

00:04:31.100 Oh, wait, no.

00:04:31.600 We won't get to play your team

00:04:32.580 because you guys lost.

00:04:34.380 Yeah, that was...

00:04:35.560 Yeah, I just...

00:04:36.100 You know, I was at Kyle Field.

00:04:38.040 It hurt.

00:04:39.080 Yeah.

00:04:39.580 So I've had two games

00:04:40.740 in two days.

00:04:41.320 One loss and one win.

00:04:42.720 Preferred the win to the loss.

00:04:44.700 Actually, all right,

00:04:45.360 the Aggie game yesterday

00:04:46.380 was frustrating

00:04:47.080 because I went to two

00:04:47.840 Aggie games this year.

00:04:48.840 Well, three.

00:04:50.000 I went to the UTANM game,

00:04:51.600 but I was rooting for both.

00:04:52.660 I'm Switzerland on that.

00:04:53.820 You're Switzerland. 0.68

00:04:54.300 That's a smart man right there.

00:04:55.660 I love them both.

00:04:57.280 But as you know,

00:04:58.320 I went to the A&M Notre Dame game

00:05:00.100 in South Bend,

00:05:01.540 which was just spectacular.

00:05:03.260 Like, have you been to a game

00:05:04.660 at South Bend?

00:05:06.400 I've been to one.

00:05:07.280 It's unbelievable.

00:05:07.980 It was, by the way, freezing,

00:05:09.020 but it was awesome.

00:05:10.280 So it was beautiful when I went.

00:05:11.480 It was a great fall day

00:05:12.780 and just a bucket list event.

00:05:14.900 Like, I'd never been there.

00:05:15.860 You see touchdown Jesus

00:05:17.160 looking over the end zone.

00:05:19.040 It's pretty spectacular.

00:05:19.900 And it was, number one,

00:05:22.960 an amazing game.

00:05:24.580 It was a pure shootout.

00:05:25.640 There was no defense

00:05:26.920 on either side.

00:05:27.520 It was just all offense.

00:05:29.040 Yeah, carried out football.

00:05:30.640 And I turned to the folks

00:05:32.160 I was sitting with

00:05:32.840 and I said,

00:05:33.680 wow, whoever has the ball last

00:05:35.120 is winning.

00:05:36.060 Yeah.

00:05:36.300 And it ended up

00:05:37.540 A&M had the ball last,

00:05:38.460 so we won.

00:05:39.400 And I got to tell you,

00:05:40.140 I was in maroon.

00:05:42.420 I was loud.

00:05:43.560 I was obnoxious.

00:05:44.620 I was cheering for the Aggies.

00:05:47.240 And the Domers

00:05:48.220 were the classiest fans

00:05:49.880 I've ever seen.

00:05:50.680 They were polite.

00:05:51.460 They were gracious.

00:05:52.320 Both Brett Kavanaugh

00:05:53.780 and Amy Coney Barrett

00:05:54.560 was there.

00:05:55.580 And I did talk some smack

00:05:57.120 at them when Notre Dame lost.

00:05:59.280 And even they were

00:06:00.080 kind of gracious.

00:06:00.820 As you should.

00:06:01.960 As you should.

00:06:03.300 But it was,

00:06:04.500 all right,

00:06:04.920 so here's something funny.

00:06:06.340 I'm down walking on the field

00:06:07.660 and a number of fans see me

00:06:10.740 and, you know,

00:06:11.880 I guess the folks there,

00:06:12.800 they were cheering.

00:06:13.580 And liked me.

00:06:14.140 The folks there,

00:06:14.920 I mean,

00:06:15.220 they're our peeps.

00:06:16.720 And so I was waving.

00:06:18.080 And then I was like

00:06:18.880 doing a thumbs up.

00:06:19.880 And I realized

00:06:20.560 it's a gigum.

00:06:21.440 And I'm like, 0.96

00:06:21.980 oh crap, 0.97

00:06:22.400 I'm not trying to be obnoxious 1.00

00:06:23.960 and like flip you off.

00:06:25.440 But like,

00:06:25.960 if you're in Kyle Field

00:06:27.400 and you did a hookum,

00:06:28.580 you would get booed.

00:06:29.620 And I'm like,

00:06:30.060 goodness.

00:06:32.940 And so thankfully,

00:06:34.080 they didn't boo me

00:06:34.880 even though I gave a thumbs up.

00:06:35.600 Matthew McConaughey

00:06:36.240 is the only one

00:06:36.800 that can probably get away

00:06:37.640 with that at Kyle Field

00:06:38.820 and like not get

00:06:39.740 totally different.

00:06:40.020 All right, all right, all right.

00:06:41.220 Yeah, exactly.

00:06:41.860 Like, oh, it's that guy.

00:06:43.020 Okay, fine.

00:06:43.740 Fair enough.

00:06:44.720 So the Notre Dame game,

00:06:46.640 no defense

00:06:47.660 and just a pure shootout.

00:06:49.420 And the Aggies had the ball last

00:06:50.900 and so we won.

00:06:52.420 Fast forward to Saturday.

00:06:55.180 Awesome defense.

00:06:56.740 We went through

00:06:57.440 three and a half quarters

00:06:58.800 with the score

00:07:00.480 three to three.

00:07:02.220 Okay, so pause.

00:07:03.340 You were there

00:07:03.980 and for everyone

00:07:04.800 that's listening right now

00:07:05.660 that watched that game,

00:07:07.100 the number of field goals missed

00:07:09.100 not by one team

00:07:10.260 on both sides of the ball

00:07:11.460 was insane

00:07:12.560 as I was watching on TV,

00:07:14.060 it did not look

00:07:15.220 as that windy.

00:07:16.660 So was it that bad

00:07:18.380 or was it

00:07:19.320 they were overcompensating?

00:07:21.420 Like, was it really

00:07:22.620 that windy?

00:07:23.720 Yeah, I don't

00:07:24.160 have a good answer on that.

00:07:26.940 It didn't feel

00:07:27.860 that windy in the stands.

00:07:29.180 I mean, it was a beautiful day.

00:07:30.540 It was just a gorgeous,

00:07:31.940 it was warm outside.

00:07:33.480 It was a spectacular day

00:07:35.020 for football.

00:07:36.240 Yeah.

00:07:36.400 You know,

00:07:36.840 the ribbons

00:07:37.660 on the end of the goalpost,

00:07:38.940 they were blowing

00:07:39.540 but they weren't like

00:07:40.320 sticking straight out.

00:07:41.320 It wasn't like

00:07:41.700 there was a hurricane

00:07:42.360 in there or something

00:07:43.120 but it was like,

00:07:44.620 it was amazing

00:07:45.500 missing field goal

00:07:46.560 after field goal

00:07:47.420 and I turned to them,

00:07:49.680 I was, you know,

00:07:50.040 sitting with a bunch of Aggies 0.60

00:07:50.920 and I said,

00:07:51.420 okay,

00:07:52.480 if I'd have told you

00:07:53.560 we'd make it three quarters

00:07:54.840 and hold Miami

00:07:57.280 to three points,

00:07:59.460 how thrilled would you be?

00:08:01.100 Yeah, you'd be ecstatic.

00:08:03.000 And at the end of the day,

00:08:04.240 we lost 10-3

00:08:05.240 because it turns out

00:08:06.140 if you play a football game

00:08:07.280 and you can't score

00:08:08.000 a single touchdown,

00:08:09.240 it's really damn hard to win

00:08:11.260 and if we could take

00:08:12.280 that Notre Dame offense

00:08:13.940 and the defense against Miami

00:08:16.520 and actually put them

00:08:17.260 in the same game,

00:08:18.400 they could go the whole way

00:08:19.420 but sadly now,

00:08:20.900 they will not.

00:08:22.140 Since it's your birthday,

00:08:23.680 I just want you to know

00:08:24.780 we will adopt you

00:08:25.780 for the rest of the playoffs

00:08:26.740 as a Rebel.

00:08:27.720 Okay,

00:08:28.120 you can,

00:08:28.440 you can,

00:08:28.960 I'll bring you a shirt.

00:08:29.920 I've got a few of them.

00:08:30.860 I might be,

00:08:31.360 yeah,

00:08:31.480 I've got,

00:08:31.940 yeah,

00:08:32.060 I've got a couple hundred of them.

00:08:33.360 I can spare one.

00:08:34.760 Okay,

00:08:34.940 I will give you some information

00:08:35.920 by the way.

00:08:36.320 Because I feel like you need to be in,

00:08:36.840 I feel like you need to still be

00:08:38.360 in the playoff

00:08:39.100 in the game here

00:08:40.020 and since you really

00:08:41.400 don't have that,

00:08:42.380 I just,

00:08:42.940 I want,

00:08:43.400 for your birthday,

00:08:44.080 I don't want you to feel alone,

00:08:45.360 okay?

00:08:45.660 So there's my birthday gift to you.

00:08:47.400 So Ben,

00:08:48.060 I'll give you some information.

00:08:49.180 Tommy Tuberville,

00:08:49.980 my colleague in the Senate.

00:08:51.300 Oh yeah,

00:08:51.820 you remember,

00:08:52.540 he screwed Ole Miss back in the day.

00:08:53.920 Don't forget that. 0.57

00:08:54.840 Soon to be governor of Alabama.

00:08:56.680 So,

00:08:57.000 you know,

00:08:57.600 he was the coach at Auburn

00:08:58.620 and so we're all interested.

00:09:00.880 Like at lunch this week,

00:09:01.860 everyone asks him,

00:09:02.680 says,

00:09:03.020 you know,

00:09:03.200 coach,

00:09:03.500 what's going to happen?

00:09:04.560 Yeah.

00:09:04.740 So Tommy's made a prediction.

00:09:06.400 He is predicting Texas Tech

00:09:07.680 to win it all.

00:09:08.320 He says Tech is the champion this year.

00:09:10.180 So that's,

00:09:10.800 now look,

00:09:11.920 Tommy used to coach at Tech.

00:09:13.120 He used to coach at A&M

00:09:14.200 and then,

00:09:14.840 you know,

00:09:15.700 but it's just interesting.

00:09:16.760 I,

00:09:17.000 you know,

00:09:17.160 I mean,

00:09:17.320 the guy's a heck of a football coach

00:09:19.480 and that's his call.

00:09:20.340 So,

00:09:20.640 so I'm cheering on Tech all the way.

00:09:23.200 I had predicted Tech

00:09:24.640 against A&M in the finals

00:09:25.940 and I was going to pull out

00:09:27.080 my Switzerland shirt again

00:09:28.220 if that happened.

00:09:29.080 As you should.

00:09:30.140 But now I can unequivocally

00:09:32.360 root for the Red Raiders.

00:09:34.100 You're a Red Raider.

00:09:34.620 You got your guns up.

00:09:35.940 You got your guns up,

00:09:36.920 right?

00:09:37.260 There are no other Texas teams.

00:09:38.980 So,

00:09:39.060 so,

00:09:39.260 so I am

00:09:40.060 excited about it.

00:09:42.760 And by the way,

00:09:43.380 I'm thinking of the folks

00:09:44.520 that listen to us.

00:09:45.200 So there's like a divide.

00:09:46.720 Some of the folks

00:09:47.540 that are regulars

00:09:48.980 on our show

00:09:49.480 are like,

00:09:50.000 oh,

00:09:50.120 this is fun

00:09:50.780 that you guys

00:09:51.220 are having some fun

00:09:52.080 and it's Christmas time

00:09:53.080 and you're talking about,

00:09:54.300 you know,

00:09:54.960 what normal people do

00:09:56.320 during Christmas time,

00:09:57.160 which is watch football

00:09:58.320 and give each other grief.

00:10:01.080 And then there are other people

00:10:02.280 who are just

00:10:02.900 complete politics nerds

00:10:04.460 and I don't say that

00:10:05.120 as an insult

00:10:05.680 because Ben and I

00:10:06.560 are the biggest politics nerds

00:10:08.100 on the planet.

00:10:08.620 We went pro in that.

00:10:09.240 We literally went pro in it.

00:10:10.980 And there's some

00:10:11.760 of the politics nerds

00:10:12.780 that are like, 0.99

00:10:13.220 damn it, 0.99

00:10:13.600 like, 1.00

00:10:13.980 we're not covering

00:10:14.760 any substance right now.

00:10:15.880 Why are you guys

00:10:16.460 yabbering about

00:10:17.440 the foosball

00:10:19.860 instead of focusing

00:10:22.520 on what's happening?

00:10:23.200 And we're going to talk

00:10:23.740 about what's happening

00:10:24.280 in the country.

00:10:24.720 There's a lot happening

00:10:25.280 in the country.

00:10:25.740 All right.

00:10:25.960 So I have to tell you this

00:10:27.440 because you're going to laugh.

00:10:28.220 Talk about geeking out.

00:10:29.440 So I'm in a Bible study

00:10:31.000 on Thursday mornings.

00:10:33.760 And, you know,

00:10:34.640 like I'll be on the road

00:10:35.440 and I'll travel

00:10:36.320 and you miss

00:10:36.920 and come in.

00:10:37.600 And so I come in

00:10:38.860 and a buddy texts me

00:10:40.520 in the Bible study.

00:10:41.100 He's like,

00:10:41.220 hey,

00:10:41.360 he's like,

00:10:41.560 you finally have

00:10:42.160 another rebel.

00:10:43.440 And I'm like,

00:10:44.160 another rebel?

00:10:44.840 Like,

00:10:45.060 he's like,

00:10:45.360 yeah,

00:10:45.480 we got a new dad

00:10:46.100 that Ole Miss got.

00:10:47.140 I can't wait to meet him.

00:10:48.200 I walk in.

00:10:49.100 I will protect

00:10:50.240 the names here.

00:10:51.540 But it is like

00:10:52.460 a 10 year

00:10:53.740 NFL

00:10:55.020 Titan

00:10:56.420 who went to Ole Miss

00:10:58.240 who shows up

00:10:59.280 in my Bible study.

00:11:00.360 So now it's like

00:11:01.380 gone completely

00:11:02.340 off the chains

00:11:03.180 because all you need

00:11:04.340 is one.

00:11:04.820 You just need one,

00:11:05.760 right?

00:11:05.900 I just needed one buddy

00:11:07.000 who was in this with me.

00:11:08.760 And so now like

00:11:09.580 the chirping

00:11:10.160 because it's all,

00:11:11.040 we got a bunch of Aggies. 0.91

00:11:12.480 You got a bunch of TCU.

00:11:13.900 You got a bunch of Texas guys.

00:11:15.620 I just needed one.

00:11:17.160 And so now we walk in

00:11:18.440 like proud peacocks

00:11:19.420 every day

00:11:19.820 in the Bible study

00:11:20.680 because it's like

00:11:21.200 I just needed one.

00:11:22.060 I got my Ole Miss buddy.

00:11:23.040 We're good to go now.

00:11:24.260 And I'm like,

00:11:24.800 this couldn't have been

00:11:25.500 better for me.

00:11:26.220 I get to go to Bible study

00:11:27.140 and like you said,

00:11:28.120 geek out over football.

00:11:29.460 And look,

00:11:30.100 the good thing is

00:11:30.980 in Bible study,

00:11:31.660 there's nothing in the Bible

00:11:32.980 about pride.

00:11:33.760 So you shouldn't feel

00:11:34.320 bad about that at all.

00:11:35.200 Not at all.

00:11:35.940 Not at all.

00:11:36.520 By the way,

00:11:37.080 did you go to church

00:11:38.600 I'm putting you on the spot here.

00:11:40.240 I love doing this.

00:11:40.880 This is fun for me.

00:11:41.660 I went.

00:11:42.460 I looked for you.

00:11:43.200 I didn't see you.

00:11:43.880 I'm not saying you were there

00:11:45.060 or weren't there.

00:11:46.680 But our pastor

00:11:48.140 is an Aggie

00:11:49.240 and he literally made sure

00:11:52.260 he worked into

00:11:53.320 the false idols

00:11:54.400 into the sermon

00:11:55.880 about going to the A&M game

00:11:57.400 and what happened

00:11:58.080 to the A&M game

00:11:58.660 which I thoroughly enjoyed.

00:12:00.040 I have not talked

00:12:01.060 to our pastor.

00:12:01.760 Both he and his wife

00:12:02.460 are Aggies

00:12:02.960 and I'm sure

00:12:03.740 they were mourning.

00:12:04.660 I was not there today.

00:12:05.960 Thank you for outing me.

00:12:07.240 You're welcome.

00:12:07.920 You're welcome.

00:12:08.260 I did look.

00:12:09.080 I looked.

00:12:09.540 I know where he sits, guys.

00:12:10.540 So I know if he's there or not.

00:12:13.340 And actually,

00:12:14.140 our pastor texted me

00:12:15.120 last night

00:12:15.580 and said,

00:12:15.840 hey,

00:12:15.960 are you going to be there tomorrow?

00:12:17.000 Like he had someone

00:12:17.840 he wanted me to meet

00:12:18.560 and I had to like

00:12:19.220 fess up and say, 0.99

00:12:20.460 no,

00:12:20.860 we're like

00:12:21.460 a lot going on.

00:12:22.740 I'm sorry.

00:12:23.100 We're missing it.

00:12:23.540 We are going.

00:12:24.560 We'll be there Christmas Eve.

00:12:25.860 See, there you go.

00:12:26.380 You got that.

00:12:27.060 You're going to, yeah.

00:12:28.540 I've got my in-laws

00:12:29.460 coming in tomorrow.

00:12:30.300 I've got my brother-in-law

00:12:31.040 and his wife coming in.

00:12:32.060 We've got family,

00:12:32.880 you know,

00:12:33.440 but it,

00:12:34.960 we did not,

00:12:36.560 in fact,

00:12:37.080 go today.

00:12:38.500 And thank you for,

00:12:40.900 You're welcome.

00:12:42.640 On your birthday,

00:12:43.660 I just wanted,

00:12:44.360 God's going to bless you

00:12:45.120 at your birthday.

00:12:45.640 You get a freebie on that one.

00:12:46.680 It's fine.

00:12:47.160 You're going to be okay.

00:12:48.760 All right.

00:12:49.080 On to the geeks,

00:12:49.940 to the politics.

00:12:50.880 By the way,

00:12:51.480 I will say this,

00:12:52.520 whenever anyone has a birthday,

00:12:53.900 I do actually have advice

00:12:55.340 to someone.

00:12:56.620 What is that?

00:12:57.540 If you don't ever want

00:12:58.360 to feel young,

00:12:59.900 just get yourself elected

00:13:01.680 to the U.S. Senate.

00:13:03.600 Like,

00:13:04.160 holy cow, 0.51

00:13:04.800 the median age is like

00:13:05.820 You're still the youngest.

00:13:06.620 106.

00:13:07.600 I mean,

00:13:07.980 they really do think

00:13:09.240 I'm in short shorts

00:13:10.320 and wearing a beanie.

00:13:11.840 I mean,

00:13:12.060 I've got colleagues

00:13:12.840 that reminisce about Eisenhower.

00:13:13.220 By the way,

00:13:13.560 who is the youngest member now?

00:13:15.440 I mean,

00:13:15.640 you were at the bottom

00:13:17.140 for a very long time.

00:13:18.100 You're still in the lowest end.

00:13:20.560 Is it Katie Britt?

00:13:21.480 Katie's on the young side.

00:13:24.820 Josh Hawley's on the young side.

00:13:26.280 All soft shots.

00:13:27.980 All right.

00:13:28.340 Cotton.

00:13:28.960 I'll tell you what.

00:13:29.920 We all have supercomputers

00:13:31.460 in our pockets.

00:13:32.520 That's very true.

00:13:34.720 Who is

00:13:36.200 the youngest?

00:13:39.300 You want the big leagues,

00:13:41.180 as I call it.

00:13:42.340 I don't want the youngest

00:13:43.360 in all history,

00:13:44.420 although interestingly,

00:13:45.260 who's the youngest

00:13:45.780 senator in history?

00:13:47.080 I have no idea.

00:13:49.320 Nor did I.

00:13:51.000 Samuel White.

00:13:52.920 From what state?

00:13:54.560 Born December 1770.

00:13:57.400 Died November 4th, 1809.

00:13:59.960 You have to be 30 years old

00:14:01.560 when you start.

00:14:03.440 And age at the start

00:14:04.600 of the term,

00:14:05.180 30 years,

00:14:05.780 2 months,

00:14:06.280 27 days.

00:14:07.580 Okay,

00:14:07.820 there you go.

00:14:09.040 That's young.

00:14:10.360 Okay.

00:14:10.740 Congress is 26 or 27?

00:14:13.040 House.

00:14:14.420 25.

00:14:15.460 Oh,

00:14:15.660 it's 25.

00:14:16.100 Okay,

00:14:16.340 25.

00:14:17.480 Then 36 to be president.

00:14:21.160 Ossoff,

00:14:21.680 38,

00:14:22.680 is the youngest senator

00:14:23.380 from Georgia.

00:14:24.800 So I mentioned Ossoff.

00:14:26.120 I knew he was in

00:14:27.180 replacing Josh Hawley.

00:14:29.100 So what did I say?

00:14:29.780 I said Hawley.

00:14:30.420 So Hawley,

00:14:31.900 who had been

00:14:33.520 the youngest person

00:14:34.640 at age 41.

00:14:37.400 Yeah.

00:14:37.600 So when I was

00:14:38.960 elected to the Senate,

00:14:39.660 I was 41.

00:14:41.100 So were you

00:14:42.320 the youngest that year

00:14:43.440 or close?

00:14:45.720 Yes.

00:14:46.380 I don't know that

00:14:47.580 for sure,

00:14:48.200 but I assume so.

00:14:51.240 All right,

00:14:51.480 here's a bit of trivia.

00:14:55.460 How old was Joe Biden

00:14:57.040 when he was elected

00:14:57.680 to the Senate?

00:14:59.040 Oh,

00:14:59.220 he had to have been

00:15:00.280 in his 30s

00:15:00.920 because he was there

00:15:01.920 forever.

00:15:02.900 He was there forever,

00:15:03.980 but this is actually

00:15:04.840 a weird bit of trivia.

00:15:06.740 34?

00:15:07.620 When he was elected,

00:15:08.760 he was actually 29.

00:15:10.560 The constitutional minimum

00:15:11.800 is 30.

00:15:13.080 But he took office.

00:15:14.440 He had the birthday.

00:15:15.500 He turned 30

00:15:16.300 before he was sworn in.

00:15:17.420 So he was eligible

00:15:18.320 by the time he was

00:15:19.140 sworn in,

00:15:19.580 but on election day,

00:15:20.420 he was not old enough

00:15:21.140 to be a senator.

00:15:22.840 That's,

00:15:23.520 and he never left.

00:15:25.800 And by the way,

00:15:26.440 that was 1972,

00:15:27.920 so I was a year

00:15:28.800 I had not even turned two

00:15:30.360 when Biden was elected,

00:15:32.000 which gives you a sense.

00:15:32.940 That's what I mean

00:15:33.960 by like,

00:15:35.080 you get in the Senate

00:15:36.000 and they're just like

00:15:36.900 55 does not even count.

00:15:39.920 That's kindergarten

00:15:40.800 and Senate years.

00:15:43.180 It's incredible.

00:15:44.020 Well,

00:15:44.160 happy birthday,

00:15:44.960 55.

00:15:45.580 That's a big one.

00:15:46.520 By the way,

00:15:47.160 there's a pecking order

00:15:48.260 of senators,

00:15:49.500 which is,

00:15:50.080 you know,

00:15:50.260 we sit next to each other

00:15:51.180 in the dais

00:15:51.720 and you look over

00:15:52.480 and it's how big

00:15:53.220 your font is.

00:15:54.480 And the older you are

00:15:55.700 and blinder you are,

00:15:56.800 I'm not going to name,

00:15:57.920 I'm not going to out

00:15:58.320 any of my colleagues,

00:15:59.040 but I will say

00:15:59.540 there's a colleague of mine.

00:16:00.340 It's very big.

00:16:00.980 You can read from

00:16:01.800 the gallery upstairs.

00:16:02.960 It's got to be

00:16:03.720 without zooming in.

00:16:04.860 40 points,

00:16:05.800 like they're like

00:16:06.400 seven words on a page.

00:16:08.220 Yeah.

00:16:09.100 And it's,

00:16:09.840 I have it a little bigger.

00:16:10.840 I have 16 point font

00:16:11.960 because it makes it easier

00:16:12.780 to look down and read it,

00:16:13.940 but it is,

00:16:14.940 it's literally,

00:16:15.660 you could see

00:16:16.440 the gradation of age

00:16:17.560 by just how big

00:16:18.300 your font is.

00:16:19.120 All right,

00:16:19.460 final question on your birthday.

00:16:20.780 Are you,

00:16:21.620 is your family

00:16:22.260 a gift giving family

00:16:23.860 or are you,

00:16:24.960 you buy your own gift

00:16:26.000 for your birthday

00:16:26.700 so you know

00:16:27.460 you get something you want?

00:16:28.900 Yeah,

00:16:29.140 I don't buy my own gift

00:16:30.220 and I have to admit,

00:16:31.480 like as a kid,

00:16:32.080 I cared about birthday gifts.

00:16:33.340 I'm not really,

00:16:35.000 like there's not

00:16:36.000 a whole lot I want.

00:16:37.020 I'm a pretty happy guy.

00:16:38.840 Like if there's something

00:16:39.500 I really want,

00:16:40.320 if I want,

00:16:41.400 like I just go buy it

00:16:42.540 because I'm not,

00:16:43.960 you know,

00:16:45.180 so,

00:16:45.740 so I don't know.

00:16:46.460 I have yet to see.

00:16:47.940 My family will get me something.

00:16:49.120 Maybe they'll give me a shirt

00:16:49.880 or a tie or something

00:16:50.840 and I'll say thank you.

00:16:51.700 A friend of mine

00:16:52.680 actually brought

00:16:53.460 some pretty cool,

00:16:54.280 a cool gift

00:16:55.060 which was a box of cigars

00:16:56.660 that she had

00:16:57.900 special made for them

00:16:59.000 and had a label

00:16:59.660 with my name on it

00:17:00.420 and the campaign logo

00:17:01.160 and I was like,

00:17:01.900 all right,

00:17:02.120 that's cool.

00:17:02.820 That's cool.

00:17:04.000 Yeah,

00:17:04.320 that was kind of a,

00:17:06.180 but I'm not sitting here

00:17:07.700 longing for anything

00:17:08.980 and I will contrast

00:17:10.260 that to my daughters

00:17:11.320 who send like links

00:17:13.560 to a hundred different things

00:17:15.000 they want for Christmas

00:17:15.860 and they're like,

00:17:16.620 okay,

00:17:16.820 buy this one

00:17:17.420 and this one

00:17:17.900 and this one

00:17:18.500 and it's pretty

00:17:19.940 and Heidi, 0.99

00:17:20.920 how was that,

00:17:21.440 by the way,

00:17:21.720 how expensive

00:17:22.220 was the PowerPoint

00:17:22.900 presentation this year?

00:17:24.880 Oh,

00:17:25.260 if you bought everything?

00:17:27.260 So,

00:17:27.760 I don't know if people,

00:17:28.540 if they missed last year's show,

00:17:30.100 one of your daughters

00:17:31.280 does a legit PowerPoint

00:17:32.780 presentation

00:17:33.740 for her Christmas

00:17:35.420 and it's a full presentation

00:17:38.080 which is awesome

00:17:39.620 and so,

00:17:41.620 what did you rate it?

00:17:43.320 Did you give her

00:17:43.700 like an eight out of ten?

00:17:44.920 How good was it this year?

00:17:45.960 So,

00:17:46.440 this was not as egregious

00:17:47.820 as last year.

00:17:48.500 Last year was insanely expensive

00:17:50.100 but this had,

00:17:50.940 I don't know,

00:17:51.640 30 or 40 options in them.

00:17:53.100 If you got them all,

00:17:54.420 You know why?

00:17:55.740 You know why,

00:17:56.360 don't you?

00:17:57.120 Why?

00:17:57.400 Because the car is coming.

00:17:59.560 You know,

00:18:00.240 look,

00:18:01.000 We're in the window.

00:18:02.520 If you got them all,

00:18:03.900 it'd be like 50 grand

00:18:05.760 because she'll put

00:18:06.380 like really expensive

00:18:07.420 things on there

00:18:08.220 and she does not get them all.

00:18:09.460 Maybe she gets five 0.99

00:18:10.400 and there's some,

00:18:11.340 like,

00:18:11.680 you know,

00:18:12.320 a top

00:18:13.060 and some sweatpants

00:18:14.060 and like we'll pick and choose

00:18:15.240 and then she'll include,

00:18:16.420 you know,

00:18:16.680 like a $9,000 necklace.

00:18:18.620 I'm like,

00:18:18.880 okay,

00:18:19.040 that's cute.

00:18:19.720 No,

00:18:20.520 but she puts them on anyway.

00:18:24.080 And so,

00:18:25.660 but Heidi does something 1.00

00:18:26.780 even more amusing

00:18:27.560 which is she goes out,

00:18:28.840 you ask,

00:18:29.520 do you shop for yourself

00:18:30.320 or for others?

00:18:31.400 Heidi will go out

00:18:32.040 and go shopping

00:18:32.680 and buy herself things 0.93

00:18:34.040 for me to give her

00:18:35.540 for Christmas

00:18:36.120 and she'll go buy it.

00:18:36.860 Does she make you wrap it

00:18:37.600 or does she even wrap it for you?

00:18:38.940 She'll come back,

00:18:39.740 she'll wrap it for her

00:18:41.420 and she'll write

00:18:42.620 to Heidi Love Ted

00:18:43.780 and she's literally

00:18:45.020 has bought it

00:18:45.980 and so this year

00:18:47.620 she has this like nice scarf 0.99

00:18:49.280 that she saw

00:18:49.860 that she really liked

00:18:50.560 that she bought

00:18:51.140 and she had it wrapped

00:18:52.520 and under the tree

00:18:53.280 and we went,

00:18:53.920 I told you today,

00:18:54.460 to the Texans game

00:18:55.300 and she decided

00:18:56.960 she needed something

00:18:57.940 with red in it

00:18:58.700 and so she went

00:18:59.180 and unwrapped her gift

00:19:01.600 to wear it to the game

00:19:03.120 and I think she's going

00:19:03.860 to wrap it again

00:19:04.520 and then open it

00:19:05.120 on Christmas.

00:19:06.260 And so when she pulled it out

00:19:07.480 and she's putting it on

00:19:08.160 and she's like,

00:19:08.560 oh,

00:19:08.660 this is the scarf

00:19:09.360 you got me

00:19:09.880 and I'm like,

00:19:10.320 oh,

00:19:10.440 that was very thoughtful of me.

00:19:11.500 I'm really very confident.

00:19:13.080 You're welcome.

00:19:13.960 Look at who you,

00:19:14.780 you're welcome.

00:19:15.740 All right,

00:19:15.920 if my kids,

00:19:17.760 if my wife is listening

00:19:18.820 with kids,

00:19:19.340 this is when you turn it off.

00:19:20.540 So this year,

00:19:21.460 you talk about Liss.

00:19:23.380 So George,

00:19:24.540 one of the twins,

00:19:26.100 he straight up,

00:19:27.080 I mean,

00:19:27.580 walked up to Santa

00:19:28.980 at,

00:19:29.580 you know,

00:19:30.040 the meet Santa thing.

00:19:31.920 Straight as an air,

00:19:32.740 like walked up assertive.

00:19:34.160 He's like,

00:19:34.720 I want this dog.

00:19:37.640 My friend has this dog.

00:19:39.520 This is what this dog looks like.

00:19:41.580 Santa,

00:19:41.960 can you please make...

00:19:42.600 Don't give the answer to this.

00:19:44.980 I don't want to blow

00:19:46.320 your kid's Christmas.

00:19:47.520 Yeah,

00:19:47.740 I'm just...

00:19:48.240 I'm doing an intervention.

00:19:49.960 Do the ask.

00:19:50.880 But it was very direct.

00:19:53.100 Okay.

00:19:53.640 It was very direct.

00:19:54.880 And so then Bradley's like,

00:19:56.640 okay,

00:19:56.940 well,

00:19:57.160 if you're going,

00:19:57.820 I'm going to go,

00:19:58.320 my nine-year-old.

00:19:58.900 So he walks up

00:19:59.620 and he's very smart.

00:20:00.460 He's like,

00:20:01.360 I like to go hunting

00:20:02.620 with my dad.

00:20:03.420 I need a shotgun

00:20:04.560 more than a Red Rider,

00:20:06.180 which I already have.

00:20:07.440 So we took him hunting.

00:20:08.900 My dad brought his shotgun

00:20:10.700 that became my shotgun

00:20:11.820 that now is my son's shotgun.

00:20:14.000 So he got his Christmas gift early,

00:20:15.920 but then he had to rewrap it.

00:20:17.520 410,

00:20:17.880 12-gauge,

00:20:18.440 20-gauge.

00:20:18.960 What is it?

00:20:19.200 So 20-gauge.

00:20:20.060 Single shot,

00:20:21.040 20-gauge.

00:20:21.760 And then the second one,

00:20:22.620 my dad brought it,

00:20:23.600 which is a pump action

00:20:24.660 he'll get probably in a year or two.

00:20:26.440 But right now,

00:20:27.380 so we took them duck hunting

00:20:28.560 and he was the proudest kid

00:20:30.620 you've ever seen.

00:20:31.160 I mean,

00:20:31.280 he was just sitting there

00:20:32.460 with his real man shotgun

00:20:33.780 with his one bullet.

00:20:34.780 I was like,

00:20:35.160 it's...

00:20:35.720 And my brother-in-law,

00:20:36.960 his son got one too.

00:20:38.120 So we kept calling him Barney Fife.

00:20:39.740 They didn't know what it meant,

00:20:40.620 but you know,

00:20:40.960 they got their one bullet.

00:20:41.800 We're like,

00:20:42.000 make it count.

00:20:42.520 You got one bullet.

00:20:43.360 Like,

00:20:43.820 you got one bullet

00:20:44.960 and they had the time of their life.

00:20:46.460 And let's be clear.

00:20:47.580 You owned a gun store

00:20:48.860 for many years

00:20:49.520 and some of our listeners

00:20:50.300 are going to be freaking out

00:20:51.240 saying Ben says shotguns fire bullets.

00:20:53.580 Yeah.

00:20:54.660 That's how you meant

00:20:55.300 with the shells.

00:20:56.640 You sound like a USA Today reporter.

00:20:58.920 Yeah.

00:20:59.140 It's like magazine.

00:21:00.060 I love when people are like,

00:21:01.000 is it a clip or a magazine?

00:21:02.300 I'm like,

00:21:02.500 I can run circles

00:21:03.560 if I want to go there.

00:21:04.640 If like,

00:21:04.860 that's the thing.

00:21:05.420 But yeah,

00:21:05.700 like it's Barney Fife.

00:21:07.980 Barney Fife had the one bullet,

00:21:09.720 right?

00:21:09.980 Not a shell in his pocket.

00:21:11.120 People are purists

00:21:12.440 about magazine and not clip,

00:21:14.160 but I don't know.

00:21:14.800 I call them clips.

00:21:15.760 Like,

00:21:15.880 I don't get why it's like

00:21:17.080 such a pericy to call them a clip.

00:21:19.460 It is.

00:21:20.000 Look, 0.99

00:21:20.280 there's dorks in everything. 0.98

00:21:21.800 In politics, 0.99

00:21:22.500 there's dorks. 0.98

00:21:23.020 In sports, 1.00

00:21:23.640 there's dorks. 0.98

00:21:24.540 And in shooting, 0.99

00:21:25.400 they're mega dorks. 0.97

00:21:26.700 And what I say is like,

00:21:27.840 anytime that people do that,

00:21:28.880 when I own the store,

00:21:30.080 they're like,

00:21:30.620 well,

00:21:30.800 how many guns do you have?

00:21:31.540 That's like a measuring thing,

00:21:33.060 right?

00:21:33.220 Like,

00:21:33.440 how many guns do you have?

00:21:34.440 Are you really?

00:21:34.900 I'm like,

00:21:35.620 I mean,

00:21:36.140 I have like three to 400.

00:21:38.540 I mean,

00:21:38.900 grand,

00:21:39.080 they're all in a store,

00:21:39.800 but technically I own them,

00:21:40.760 right?

00:21:40.960 Like,

00:21:41.240 you know,

00:21:41.460 I was like,

00:21:41.740 yeah,

00:21:41.860 I've got a,

00:21:42.220 I've got a decent collection,

00:21:43.460 three to 400 guns.

00:21:44.440 And,

00:21:44.480 you know,

00:21:45.300 I will say a dozen machine guns,

00:21:47.660 but nothing big.

00:21:49.840 So,

00:21:50.240 so when you're a center from Texas,

00:21:51.700 like,

00:21:52.140 like people have certain expectations of you.

00:21:53.960 And so like,

00:21:54.400 I,

00:21:54.600 I hunt,

00:21:55.360 but I don't really call myself a hunter

00:21:57.220 because like people who go hunting,

00:21:59.700 like nonstop,

00:22:01.040 I go hunting once or twice a year.

00:22:02.480 I enjoy it.

00:22:03.040 I like birds.

00:22:04.000 Birds are the most fun to hunt

00:22:05.100 because they move and it's energetic

00:22:06.260 and you're engaging.

00:22:07.240 I'm not a big deer hunter.

00:22:08.280 That's,

00:22:08.500 I like,

00:22:09.220 I like to be able to talk

00:22:10.340 and have camaraderie while hunting,

00:22:11.940 which is bird hunting.

00:22:13.200 Yeah,

00:22:13.420 no bird,

00:22:13.900 bird hunting.

00:22:14.540 I will say I've been like,

00:22:16.220 uh,

00:22:17.000 my favorite Chaney.

00:22:18.700 No,

00:22:19.320 no.

00:22:19.840 I'm very glad.

00:22:20.880 It's been long enough.

00:22:21.360 We can,

00:22:21.560 we can still joke about that.

00:22:22.780 Although I was actually hunting in South Texas

00:22:26.560 at Alice,

00:22:27.220 Texas,

00:22:27.540 right by the Armstrong ranch.

00:22:29.180 So for those who don't remember this,

00:22:31.420 when Dick Chaney was vice president,

00:22:32.880 he went hunting,

00:22:33.580 he was quail hunting and he shot a man.

00:22:35.860 Yeah.

00:22:36.300 Uh,

00:22:36.580 and,

00:22:37.360 and the guy's name was Harry,

00:22:38.480 Whittington,

00:22:39.000 who was a lawyer from,

00:22:40.500 from Austin.

00:22:41.060 I knew Harry.

00:22:42.040 And,

00:22:42.540 and oddly enough,

00:22:43.600 I was on the adjoining ranch.

00:22:45.460 This is down in South Texas.

00:22:47.480 And,

00:22:47.980 and I was deer hunting.

00:22:49.100 Uh,

00:22:49.540 and I got,

00:22:50.320 this gives you a sense of the time over my BlackBerry,

00:22:53.680 which were these devices that you used to get,

00:22:55.840 that you would get emails before you had smartphones.

00:22:58.340 Yeah.

00:22:58.720 I saw a headline.

00:22:59.540 I had one.

00:23:00.560 Oh,

00:23:00.820 the type,

00:23:01.280 the keyboard was so good.

00:23:02.920 It was so good.

00:23:03.580 I,

00:23:03.820 I would go back tomorrow if they brought it back.

00:23:05.300 I really would.

00:23:06.440 So,

00:23:06.920 so the headline comes,

00:23:08.100 vice president shoots a man.

00:23:10.020 And I'm like,

00:23:10.780 surely that can't be real.

00:23:11.860 That's,

00:23:12.180 that's metaphorical.

00:23:12.920 Like shoots the bird at him.

00:23:13.940 Right.

00:23:14.440 Nope.

00:23:15.040 Nope.

00:23:15.660 Like shotgun blasted.

00:23:17.860 And it was,

00:23:19.120 uh,

00:23:20.160 so yes,

00:23:20.640 I was,

00:23:20.960 I was down there for that.

00:23:22.120 And,

00:23:22.340 and,

00:23:22.480 and a joke I've told on the trail is,

00:23:24.220 is a lot of people don't realize when that happened,

00:23:26.900 there were more than 200 phone calls to Texas parks and wildlife asking how much for a license to shoot a Republican lawyer.

00:23:36.120 And I gotta say that,

00:23:37.560 that,

00:23:37.860 that joke.

00:23:39.180 It works.

00:23:39.960 That'll play.

00:23:40.800 That'll play on the campaign trail for,

00:23:42.740 for sure.

00:23:44.220 And by the way,

00:23:44.720 Harry Whittington,

00:23:45.400 you know,

00:23:45.960 buckshot all in his shoulder.

00:23:47.400 They left most of it in.

00:23:48.800 And so when he would go through an airport metal detector,

00:23:51.500 he'd set the metal detector off because,

00:23:53.440 you know,

00:23:53.620 for most of that,

00:23:54.360 yeah,

00:23:54.600 like steel,

00:23:55.240 he's probably shooting steel.

00:23:56.060 Yeah.

00:23:56.500 Yeah.

00:23:56.780 Like it didn't make sense to take it out.

00:23:58.740 It was healthier just to leave it in.

00:24:00.680 Thankfully he survived.

00:24:01.900 He was not.

00:24:02.660 Um,

00:24:03.140 and,

00:24:03.420 and I do remember thinking,

00:24:04.640 you know,

00:24:05.720 it would have been interesting,

00:24:07.560 not in a good way,

00:24:08.840 but if it had been the other way around,

00:24:10.220 if someone's hunting with the vice president and shoots,

00:24:13.560 the vice president,

00:24:14.640 secret service might've shot the guy dead.

00:24:16.160 Like,

00:24:16.440 like if you think about the,

00:24:17.860 like how the reaction would have been.

00:24:20.320 Yeah.

00:24:20.800 Um,

00:24:22.160 so,

00:24:22.840 you know,

00:24:23.160 but anyway,

00:24:23.540 I hunt once or twice a year.

00:24:25.940 I enjoy it.

00:24:26.620 You know,

00:24:26.760 one time I was up in South Dakota pheasant hunting and I like pheasant hunting.

00:24:30.680 I like quail too,

00:24:31.760 but pheasants are bigger and slower.

00:24:34.000 So I hit more of them.

00:24:35.180 So it's kind of more gratified.

00:24:36.360 It's easier and it's fun.

00:24:38.540 And it's,

00:24:39.220 but,

00:24:39.420 but when I was up in South Dakota pheasant hunting,

00:24:41.360 it was very funny because every,

00:24:42.360 every time I was there,

00:24:44.040 like 20 guys.

00:24:44.780 So sort of a,

00:24:45.480 you know,

00:24:45.920 birds would flush and you'd have just boom,

00:24:48.100 boom,

00:24:48.280 boom,

00:24:48.420 boom,

00:24:48.660 shotguns going off.

00:24:50.500 And no matter who hit the bird,

00:24:52.500 the other guys there would go,

00:24:53.820 nice shot, 0.93

00:24:54.280 Senator.

00:24:55.120 And,

00:24:55.560 and I was like,

00:24:56.300 wow,

00:24:56.460 this is the first hunt in my life.

00:24:58.240 I was credited with more birds than I fired shells.

00:25:00.840 Yeah.

00:25:01.440 And it just did.

00:25:02.520 You limited out for the first time ever.

00:25:04.840 It was a lot of fun.

00:25:07.860 So have I told you,

00:25:08.860 you know,

00:25:09.200 you know,

00:25:09.560 my dad's,

00:25:10.260 they,

00:25:10.860 that my family,

00:25:11.720 his family was up in North Dakota,

00:25:13.040 Botano,

00:25:13.500 North Dakota.

00:25:14.460 Yeah.

00:25:14.640 It's flat.

00:25:15.440 And there's a lot of snow geese there.

00:25:17.140 So when I was,

00:25:18.600 I think I was six.

00:25:20.800 They put me in the back of the truck.

00:25:22.340 It was really cold.

00:25:23.560 My uncle and my,

00:25:25.140 my dad's uncle.

00:25:25.940 So my great uncle drives us out there.

00:25:27.700 They blindfold you.

00:25:28.960 It's like part of the deal.

00:25:30.840 And then they,

00:25:32.320 they get you ready with a gun and they blow the horn and the whole field is white and it just lifts up.

00:25:38.660 And it's geese.

00:25:39.560 And then they tell you when to shoot.

00:25:41.100 And I shot two snow geese with one,

00:25:43.560 four,

00:25:43.840 10.

00:25:44.460 That's how,

00:25:45.320 how many there were in the air.

00:25:47.160 Got to blindfolded.

00:25:48.840 And that was the first time everyone hunting blindfold.

00:25:50.820 They blindfold you.

00:25:52.180 Let me just say,

00:25:52.840 I love you,

00:25:53.280 dude,

00:25:53.520 but, 0.77

00:25:53.720 but I'm not going to be with you when you have a gun and are shooting it blindfolded.

00:25:56.720 And I'm like anywhere near you.

00:25:58.240 But it was like,

00:25:58.820 what a great way to get like your first hunt.

00:26:00.940 Like it was,

00:26:01.500 it's a rite of passage,

00:26:02.560 but the whole field,

00:26:03.800 like the,

00:26:04.240 the,

00:26:04.440 the,

00:26:04.660 the dirt up there is pitch black,

00:26:06.020 dark.

00:26:06.460 It's,

00:26:07.000 I mean,

00:26:07.240 the soil is incredible in North Dakota.

00:26:09.060 And so the whole field's white.

00:26:11.140 They hit the horn and the whole field just lifted up and it went from white to black.

00:26:15.640 Okay.

00:26:15.920 So a story I'll tell you,

00:26:17.160 uh,

00:26:18.020 go back like five years ago.

00:26:20.060 Uh,

00:26:20.700 Glenn Youngkin is running for governor of Virginia and Glenn is a good,

00:26:23.980 good friend.

00:26:25.060 And I campaigned all over Virginia with Glenn.

00:26:28.000 We,

00:26:28.140 we did.

00:26:29.140 So in the primary,

00:26:31.180 going into the primary,

00:26:32.340 Glenn was actually in second place.

00:26:33.560 He was not winning.

00:26:34.740 Uh,

00:26:35.140 he was in second at the time and we ended up doing seven or eight rallies all over

00:26:40.700 Virginia,

00:26:41.200 just Glenn and me,

00:26:41.800 the two of us.

00:26:42.260 And they were huge rallies.

00:26:43.740 And so I spent two days barnstorming him the day before the two days before the

00:26:48.120 primary.

00:26:49.520 And we would have people show up and,

00:26:52.940 and they would actually show up.

00:26:54.400 Some people would be wearing the shirts of his opponent.

00:26:56.320 And the end of the rally,

00:26:57.280 when they saw him,

00:26:57.980 they were impressed.

00:26:58.820 They'd pull off their opponent's shirt.

00:27:00.420 They'd grab like a young and yard side. 0.77

00:27:02.440 That's pretty awesome.

00:27:03.860 You know,

00:27:05.320 that was a cool momentum campaign at the very end.

00:27:07.720 There was a big momentum switch at the very end of that campaign,

00:27:10.920 which I think is the most fun campaigns to be on.

00:27:13.500 And Virginia has this sort of curious hybrid where it's sort of a primary,

00:27:17.960 sort of a caucus.

00:27:18.600 So there were like,

00:27:19.860 I don't remember like 50,000 people who were going to be voting in who the

00:27:23.560 nominee was going to be.

00:27:24.860 Yeah.

00:27:25.420 And,

00:27:25.820 and we had at the rallies we were at,

00:27:28.160 I think we had more than 5,000 of them.

00:27:30.520 So we literally had 10% of the actual voters physically present with us within

00:27:37.020 48 hours of election day.

00:27:38.820 So,

00:27:39.160 so it,

00:27:39.660 I think that rally had a real impact,

00:27:41.860 but I told a story and look,

00:27:43.400 Glenn at the time was just getting known.

00:27:45.700 And,

00:27:46.080 and so some of it is,

00:27:47.120 I think some of the folks that came out to the rallies were conservatives who

00:27:49.960 knew me,

00:27:50.380 who were coming out and giving him a chance.

00:27:52.040 Cause I was saying,

00:27:52.960 listen,

00:27:53.420 this is a good,

00:27:54.480 you need to look at this guy.

00:27:55.360 Yeah.

00:27:55.920 And,

00:27:56.240 and,

00:27:56.460 and my philosophy is the William F Buckley rule.

00:27:59.280 I support the most conservative candidate who can win.

00:28:02.880 And I want both.

00:28:03.760 I want a proven conservative,

00:28:05.280 show me your record,

00:28:05.920 but I also want a path to victory.

00:28:07.140 Like we're not screwing around.

00:28:08.500 If you can't win,

00:28:09.660 I'm not interested in tilting at windmills.

00:28:12.520 We got to win.

00:28:13.560 And so I told a story and it was one of the ways of like getting credibility.

00:28:17.480 I said,

00:28:17.800 look,

00:28:18.080 you know,

00:28:21.020 year or two ago,

00:28:22.240 Glenn and I were out shooting on a ranch.

00:28:24.420 Now we didn't mention that the,

00:28:26.600 the ranch is actually Glenn owns a ranch in,

00:28:29.060 in,

00:28:29.280 in Texas and the Hill country.

00:28:31.020 You leave that out.

00:28:31.880 Yeah.

00:28:32.160 That's good.

00:28:32.500 That's a good leave out.

00:28:33.620 It's a bad idea.

00:28:34.760 If you're campaigning in Virginia to mention,

00:28:36.540 you know,

00:28:36.740 he lives in Virginia,

00:28:37.620 he's a Virginian,

00:28:38.420 but,

00:28:38.640 but he does own a gorgeous ranch in Texas that,

00:28:42.840 that I've stayed at multiple times and it's just beautiful.

00:28:45.820 It's all the Guadalupe river.

00:28:48.200 And I said,

00:28:49.100 all right,

00:28:49.280 we were out at the shotgun range playing a game called Annie Oakley.

00:28:53.740 And,

00:28:54.220 and so Annie Oakley is,

00:28:55.880 is you throw up a clay and the first guy shoots.

00:28:59.240 And if the first guy misses,

00:29:01.140 the second guy shoots.

00:29:02.320 And if the second guy hits it,

00:29:03.340 the first guy's out.

00:29:04.500 Yeah.

00:29:04.860 By the way,

00:29:05.200 if the second guy misses,

00:29:06.140 it's like knockout.

00:29:06.780 Yeah.

00:29:07.140 Yeah.

00:29:07.500 The third guy shoots a third guy hits the first two are out.

00:29:11.660 So we're out there playing.

00:29:13.120 And I said,

00:29:13.580 I'm there with Glenn.

00:29:14.680 I'm,

00:29:15.200 I said,

00:29:15.520 I'm there with this kind of really uptight,

00:29:17.700 intense guy.

00:29:18.500 And then me.

00:29:19.900 And so the,

00:29:21.220 the,

00:29:21.440 the,

00:29:21.680 I love that that guy remains nameless.

00:29:23.420 Keep going.

00:29:24.400 So the clay gets thrown out.

00:29:26.940 Glenn shoots and misses.

00:29:28.080 He's a good shot,

00:29:28.720 but he missed that one.

00:29:30.380 In between us is the really intense,

00:29:32.600 uptight guy.

00:29:34.100 Yeah. 0.99

00:29:34.400 He shoots.

00:29:35.560 He misses.

00:29:36.260 I'm third.

00:29:38.080 The clay is like trailing down and I get a lucky as hell shot and I hit it.

00:29:43.640 Boom.

00:29:44.040 It shatters.

00:29:46.320 So I tell that story.

00:29:48.480 All right.

00:29:48.960 I'm going to tell the listeners a verdict to the uptight guy was.

00:29:52.180 I cannot wait for this.

00:29:53.340 It was Paul Ryan.

00:29:55.520 No way.

00:29:57.000 Who I think was still the,

00:29:58.160 still the speaker of the house.

00:29:59.180 I believe.

00:29:59.560 I don't remember the exact timing.

00:30:00.940 And Paul's a great guy.

00:30:02.040 Paul is a friend of mine,

00:30:03.060 but he's a serious hunter.

00:30:04.840 Like,

00:30:05.120 like he's one of the hunters,

00:30:06.480 like,

00:30:06.780 like,

00:30:06.940 like he goes hunting in Wisconsin.

00:30:08.660 He goes deer hunting and Turkey hunting.

00:30:10.300 And he's one of the guys that like covers himself with urine.

00:30:13.220 Yeah.

00:30:13.620 And I'm,

00:30:14.080 I'm just a believer.

00:30:15.320 I don't put like urine on my body.

00:30:17.660 That,

00:30:17.900 that does not,

00:30:18.780 that's not my thing.

00:30:20.060 You're not.

00:30:20.240 Yeah.

00:30:20.360 You're not putting blood,

00:30:21.760 blood on yourself. 0.77

00:30:22.640 Yeah.

00:30:22.960 Like,

00:30:23.520 like them.

00:30:24.100 Yeah.

00:30:25.360 Yeah.

00:30:25.760 Yeah.

00:30:26.000 Yeah.

00:30:26.080 Exactly.

00:30:26.680 So bad.

00:30:27.440 I will confess that I like Paul and we're friends,

00:30:29.720 but,

00:30:30.000 but when I shot and hit and knocked both him and Glenn out,

00:30:32.360 I,

00:30:32.920 I couldn't resist.

00:30:34.020 I turned to him and just deadpan.

00:30:35.800 Welcome to Texas.

00:30:37.120 Yeah.

00:30:38.400 That is exactly.

00:30:39.680 That's exactly what you should have said.

00:30:41.600 Listen,

00:30:42.100 in Texas,

00:30:42.620 there are a gazillion people who are much better shots than I am,

00:30:45.640 but,

00:30:45.860 but I,

00:30:46.180 I am decent and can,

00:30:47.800 can hold my own.

00:30:48.760 And,

00:30:49.220 and at least that time it was pretty fun.

00:30:51.380 That,

00:30:51.580 that,

00:30:51.940 that is actually amazing.

00:30:52.940 And Paul is so,

00:30:53.940 if people don't know,

00:30:54.580 Paul is like one of the most competitive guys,

00:30:56.320 no matter what you're doing.

00:30:57.140 Like,

00:30:57.420 you remember he was competitive with like CrossFit when he was in the

00:30:59.860 house.

00:31:00.540 Oh yeah.

00:31:00.900 He was obsessed with working out.

00:31:02.160 Like that was like,

00:31:03.000 he could work out harder than anybody else.

00:31:05.380 Yeah.

00:31:05.580 Paul does not like to lose.

00:31:07.200 That is a great way of putting it.

00:31:09.340 Well,

00:31:09.760 listen,

00:31:10.060 I want to say to all our verdict listeners,

00:31:11.960 we've been doing this a long time.

00:31:13.340 We do it three days a week.

00:31:14.500 We do it late at night.

00:31:16.720 In fact,

00:31:17.460 looking at,

00:31:18.180 all right.

00:31:19.720 It's,

00:31:20.120 it's,

00:31:20.660 it is your birthday.

00:31:21.900 Let's look at it.

00:31:22.860 It is officially 12.03 in the morning.

00:31:25.640 So as of three minutes ago,

00:31:27.380 I just turned 55 years old.

00:31:29.340 Happy birthday.

00:31:30.680 I will say my mom,

00:31:32.460 my mom is 91.

00:31:34.460 We're going to go out to dinner tonight with my mom and my dad and my whole

00:31:37.440 family.

00:31:37.740 And I'm going to tell my mom,

00:31:38.940 wow,

00:31:39.200 you're old. 0.68

00:31:39.800 How do you have a 55 year old son?

00:31:41.560 A 55 year old.

00:31:43.100 Heidi's married to a 55 year old man.

00:31:45.260 Don't forget to remind her of that tonight.

00:31:46.860 I,

00:31:47.460 she,

00:31:47.800 now to be clear,

00:31:48.420 when Heidi turned 50,

00:31:50.180 you know what she did on her 50th birthday?

00:31:52.060 Yes,

00:31:52.360 I do know this is,

00:31:53.220 which is still insane.

00:31:54.460 She's like,

00:31:55.020 Hey,

00:31:55.120 I'm 50.

00:31:55.620 I'm going to run a marathon.

00:31:56.440 Like who says that?

00:31:57.600 Heidi.

00:31:57.880 She ran the LA marathon.

00:31:59.320 Didn't do it on her birthday,

00:32:00.160 but she did it in celebration of her birthday.

00:32:01.900 So she did it a few months later.

00:32:03.040 And it was,

00:32:03.940 uh,

00:32:04.220 uh,

00:32:04.860 so my question is,

00:32:05.920 you know,

00:32:06.140 you're not that far away from 50 Benjamin.

00:32:08.000 Are you going to run the LA marathon on your 50th?

00:32:10.580 There is no chance in hell.

00:32:13.400 Just,

00:32:13.860 just checking.

00:32:14.500 Just,

00:32:14.860 just,

00:32:15.280 we're going to take that off the table for my 50th birthday.

00:32:18.400 I will do something like a midlife crisis.

00:32:20.560 Like I'll go buy a really cool car.

00:32:22.600 That's an,

00:32:22.960 a manual transmission.

00:32:23.880 Cause you know,

00:32:24.400 me and cars,

00:32:24.940 I like fast cars that like I'll do that.

00:32:27.660 I might,

00:32:28.440 I might sign up to like play a very legitimate 50 plus like tennis tournament where you can

00:32:34.220 win a gold ball.

00:32:34.860 That's like the standard.

00:32:35.840 And like that,

00:32:36.420 I might,

00:32:36.740 I might train for that.

00:32:37.820 Like I'm going to be 50.

00:32:39.300 Let's see if I can,

00:32:40.360 you know,

00:32:40.520 my,

00:32:40.720 my best friend doubles partner from college,

00:32:42.440 let's play a doubles tournament together and see if we can win a gold ball.

00:32:45.200 There you go.

00:32:45.760 I like it.

00:32:47.100 That's quality.

00:32:47.900 Let me just say,

00:32:49.620 you know,

00:32:49.920 we've got about a million regular and dedicated verdict listeners.

00:32:54.620 And if you count radio,

00:32:56.100 we've got millions of listeners.

00:32:58.840 Let me say to all you guys,

00:33:00.240 thank you.

00:33:00.920 I mean,

00:33:01.160 I,

00:33:01.320 I appreciate,

00:33:02.640 I appreciate you.

00:33:04.160 I appreciate you.

00:33:05.280 You know,

00:33:05.760 this is,

00:33:06.160 this is like having each of you into our living room three days a week and having a conversation.

00:33:10.980 And sometimes Ben and I give us,

00:33:12.900 give it,

00:33:13.200 give each other grief.

00:33:14.040 Sometimes we talk about what we're mad at about.

00:33:16.780 Sometimes we talk about what we're happy about.

00:33:18.640 We try to give you information you can't get anywhere else.

00:33:21.660 And I'm just grateful for,

00:33:23.240 for this amazing community,

00:33:24.940 because I,

00:33:25.560 I really do think,

00:33:26.740 you know,

00:33:27.720 scripture talks about it takes a remnant.

00:33:29.420 And I think there are,

00:33:30.900 are men and women who believe in liberty,

00:33:33.780 who believe in America.

00:33:34.940 And I believe it's,

00:33:36.520 it's,

00:33:36.760 it's the,

00:33:37.540 the listers of our show and those across the country who are committed to liberty,

00:33:41.860 who are going to save America.

00:33:43.920 And so I am grateful for you.

00:33:45.540 It's why we put the time in.

00:33:47.060 And,

00:33:47.080 and,

00:33:47.220 and so on my birthday,

00:33:49.320 I don't know about you,

00:33:49.960 but sometimes I get contemplative on a birthday and think about where we are and where things are going.

00:33:54.820 And I just want to say to every listener a verdict.

00:33:57.080 Thank you.

00:33:57.700 I appreciate you.

00:33:58.500 You guys are amazing.

00:33:59.440 And I'm just glad I remembered how old you were.

00:34:01.560 That's just like,

00:34:02.360 it's a full circle,

00:34:03.520 full circle there.

00:34:04.460 I like that.

00:34:05.020 Happy birthday,

00:34:05.760 sir.

00:34:06.100 55.

00:34:06.740 Don't forget.

00:34:07.200 We do the show Monday,

00:34:08.080 Wednesday,

00:34:08.420 Friday.

00:34:09.080 If you're on social media,

00:34:10.380 send a birthday message.

00:34:11.760 I would put it in all caps in the larger size font.

00:34:14.680 Big font,

00:34:15.220 big font,

00:34:15.840 big font,

00:34:16.600 happy.

00:34:17.160 You might want to send multiple tweets,

00:34:18.600 like just happy.

00:34:19.480 Then birthday,

00:34:20.980 you know,

00:34:21.460 like,

00:34:21.720 yeah,

00:34:21.840 you want to do it that way.

00:34:22.840 So make sure he can actually see that and read it on his phone.

00:34:25.280 And we'll see you back here on Wednesday morning.

00:34:29.120 This is an I heart podcast.

00:34:32.020 Guaranteed human.

Verdict with Ted Cruz - December 22, 2025

The Birthday Show

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