Dating Talk #18
Episode Stats
Length
3 hours and 36 minutes
Words per Minute
163.1523
Hate Speech Sentences
158
Summary
In this episode of Whatever Happened, we have our first guest on the show, a stripper from the University of California, San Diego named Hensley! We talk about what it's like to work at Starbucks, how she got into the stripper business, and how she ended up working at Starbucks.
Transcript
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La donna è mobile, qual piuma il vento, muta d'accento e di pensiero.
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Sempre un'amabile, legge addroviso, impianto in riso e menzognero.
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La donna è mobile, qual piuma il vento, muta d'accento e di pensiero.
00:00:49.040
La donna è mobile, qual piuma il vento, muta d'accento e di pensiero.
00:01:02.040
La donna è mobile, qual piuma il vento, muta d'accento e di pensiero.
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Now who's gonna be the Medici family and stand up and let me create more?
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Or do you wanna marginalize me till I'm out of my moment?
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So please consider sending a Super Chat throughout the show.
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All Super Chats will be displayed in Stream Overlay.
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We've got channel memberships, Patreon, merch, all links in the description.
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Eric, if you go ahead and hit that Join button.
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Yeah, so we've got Tier 1, Tier 2, Tier 3, Tier 4, Tier 5, Tier 6.
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And at Tier 2, if you scroll back up, Eric, Tier 2, go ahead and click on Tier 2.
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Yeah, we get like 150 plus exclusive members-only videos.
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And now we are in an endless, what's that movie with Leonardo DiCaprio?
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And then the next, sorry guys, I totally scuffed that up.
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Also, please support my non-profit, the American Network Against Labia Plasty, or anal for short.
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We empower women who may feel self-conscious or insecure about their labia.
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Can we get some hashtag all AB matter in the chat?
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And apparently, UCSB was ranked the number one top party school in America by niche.com.
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But anyways, we might talk a bit about some party-related stuff.
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So, and we got the tabs here out of order, but if you want to be on the show or help with
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And if you want to fit, actually, Eric, if you can, sorry, I'll bring it back.
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If you want a fit check from the panel, $69 super chat.
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We're going to have the guests introduce themselves.
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So please tell us your name, age, occupation, and or school major.
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And I'm studying psychology with a minor in philosophy and drug and alcohol counseling.
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And I am working online for an extracurricular institution.
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And I am also a student in UCSB majoring in communications.
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I'm a student in UCSB majoring in communication as well.
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My mama told me never to admit you're real age, so 25.
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So all the girls' Instagrams are in the description.
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Relationship status, longest relationship, and are you on a dating app?
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My longest relationship was 10 months at 16, and I'm on a hinge.
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Current relationship status, longest relationship.
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And my longest relationship was a year and a half, and I'm on a hinge.
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I'm currently single, and I have never been in a relationship.
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And, oh yeah, but I'm on Tinder and Bumble, yeah.
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What is the longest period of time you've been seeing somebody?
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Wait, so, I assume you've hooked up with someone before?
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My longest was, like, a year and, like, two months.
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And then I'm on hinge, but I don't really use it.
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I am in a relationship, and this is my first relationship.
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So no dating apps for me, but I did use to do Bumble, Hinge, and Raya.
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So you don't have to be a celebrity to be on it.
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So they do, like, a whole background check on you.
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So they check your, like, they go through your contacts.
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I don't know if I'm even saying too much right now.
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So they do a whole background check, and it's really private.
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Like, you're not allowed to say who you've seen on there, who you've dated,
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Wait, so you're, and how long has you been dating your current boyfriend?
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It just has never got to the relationship point.
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My longest relationship is eight months, but that was in middle school.
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And I'm currently on Tinder, and I used the Hinge for a while,
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Hensley, so the last time you were on, you were seeing, sort of, kind of seeing a guy.
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I mean, the whole time I was seeing him, I was kind of just using it as a psychology experiment,
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I more just wanted to see if I could break his heart.
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By the way, Hensley, did you fully disclose your...
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Oh, right, and you met him at the Shitty Kitty, was it?
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You've ruined him for other women, is what you're saying?
00:10:04.120
No, I mean, I think he was, like, kind of a diagnosable narcissist,
00:10:10.840
I think he's much too conceited to be in full heartbreak,
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I think you were a fan favorite, so there was a lot of demand.
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Did you get any guys that were sliding into your DMs?
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Actually, I have to Google what seeking arrangement is when we were watching the last episode.
00:12:09.820
I'm a bit surprised that, Hensley, you haven't had a sugar daddy.
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I mean, I've always been open to the opportunity if I didn't require, like, actually having to
00:12:18.080
do sex, but finding an arrangement like that is actually pretty hard, because, of course,
00:12:22.180
they're going to have certain requirements, and they're older guys, and so I think, like,
00:12:28.140
for me, I'm like, I want a situation where it's, like, fun and platonic, and I just, like,
00:12:32.620
have to talk to them, and then they give me money.
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But at the same time, I think when those arrangements have been present, I'm also, like, oh, I also
00:12:43.560
Because I would imagine that you might run into those types of guys at the club.
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It's just never been, like, a big interest of mine.
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I'm kind of financially okay, so for me, it just, I don't know.
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I like to keep, I like to choose where I put my energy, and I've just never found a situation
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where I'm like, yeah, this would be a fun situation that could be beneficial to me, where I can
00:13:08.360
make money, and it would be all right, but, yeah, it's just never been the right time or
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We had a girl on, I think, a week ago, and she had a date with a guy, and just met him for
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So it does seem that some of these arrangements don't involve, like, any sort of sex.
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That's probably what's expected at some point, but...
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I mean, there are, like, dating apps that you can be on, I guess, for him, but I thought
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Chat, is Seeking Arrangements, did it get shut down?
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Anyways, I want to go around the panel with one last thing, so, introductory thing anyways.
00:14:01.100
So, do you identify as a feminist in your political orientation?
00:14:08.240
No, and I think I'm close to, like, Green Party.
00:14:15.280
I wouldn't say I'm a feminist, but, and also...
00:14:23.340
I think feminism, I don't know, there's, like, a strong definition for it that I don't really
00:14:27.380
know what exactly it is, but political orientation, I don't know, I guess more in the middle, I'd
00:14:35.680
Um, I am a little, but a little feminist, probably.
00:14:42.940
And my political orientation is, yeah, saying middle.
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Are there, are there different political parties in China?
00:15:03.900
Um, I, I think that the internet puts a different kind of, like, connotation on the word feminist,
00:15:09.180
so I would say that I'm a feminist, but, like, not in the way that most people would, like,
00:15:13.360
describe one, um, and I would say I'm, like, moderate, like, moderate, more, maybe a little
00:15:23.780
Um, yeah, I wouldn't really say I'm a feminist either, I just believe in being a good person,
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and so if, you know, you do have to kind of step into that feminist role to be a good
00:15:36.760
But, um, as for, you know, I can open my own car door, sort of feminist, I'm definitely
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not, um, and I'm definitely in the middle for politics.
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I'm not in any of the parties, but I would love to be a good feminist, but the class
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is just so hard to get into, I do not have enough definition for feminism.
00:16:00.620
There's a, there's a, oh, are you talking at UCSB?
00:16:10.060
So for our first, uh, question for today, we got a, we got a light one.
00:16:31.080
In a sec, Glebis, um, or maybe I should do a thing.
00:16:34.980
Glebis did actually make this recommendation that maybe for higher levels of super chats,
00:16:54.640
It's Brian playing strict dad, keeping me away from you.
00:16:59.300
You should know fit check for boys in chat, please.
00:17:02.540
Um, do we, I, I suppose, what, what did I say with the fit check though?
00:17:08.460
It had to be, was it had to be $69 exactly, right?
00:17:13.060
But, but this is over 69 and he's, he is asking for a fit check.
00:17:25.480
I'll get my first question and we'll check back in on the fit check.
00:17:27.800
But Glebis LA, thank you for the big hundred dollar donation, man.
00:18:07.040
Eric, can you go ahead and pull up the photo in window tab?
00:18:09.940
Um, and you see this painting hanging from his wall.
00:18:28.760
It's like a, it's like a, it's like a choice, you know.
00:18:34.620
Some people might, some people might really like that.
00:18:51.580
So would you, if you saw that going into a guy's house.
00:18:58.160
I think it's more important on like the guy themselves, right?
00:19:24.960
Um, I don't know if you guys can see that, but, uh.
00:19:31.260
I actually have that in my, uh, hanging in my room.
00:19:39.740
I think it would be scarier if it was like just a regular clown.
00:19:50.140
It's a famous Polish painting by this, uh, painter called Jan Matejko, painted in the 1800s.
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A real living court jester, I think, between the years of the 1400s, 1500s, he was a, uh, court jester in Poland.
00:20:06.060
And it depicts him being, uh, he's at a royal ball, and he's, uh, disturbed by the news that the, uh, what's it called?
00:20:24.260
And he's the only one at a royal ball that is upset.
00:20:34.380
Yeah, I mean, some guys have weird things in their rooms, and you just gotta pay attention to the signs, you know?
00:20:39.720
I don't know, it just seemed like a darker painting than that, but that's a really interesting backstory, so.
00:20:50.160
So, I've had, okay, so I've had a few girls make, uh, comments about the painting.
00:21:09.720
I mean, as long as you have the backstory to it, you're chilling.
00:21:13.320
Yeah, I think only one girl was like, it's kind of weird, and then the rest were like, oh, that's cool.
00:21:21.520
Um, well, if, I'll just pull it back up one more time.
00:21:24.580
So, I'm trying to remember, it's the, uh, what, what the, uh, basically, this is the story of my life.
00:21:44.260
Uh, what is the number one thing that annoys you or pisses you off about dating?
00:21:52.160
And if you want to list more than one, you're, you're free to.
00:22:05.400
Um, I would say talk about my country instead of myself, because I'm not from here.
00:22:14.200
And they would rather talk about politics in China than, like, me, personally.
00:22:23.620
So, it's a huge turnoff if they talk about the politics in China.
00:22:29.260
Uh, I mean, if they keep asking about it, but I don't actually know much about it.
00:22:35.920
So, and are you talking about guys that you're dating here in the U.S.?
00:22:45.000
And so, of the Americans that you're dating, they're just very interested in the political
00:22:53.680
I only dated two guys, and one of the guys have the long, like, longest conversation about
00:22:59.160
Chinese politics in my whole life, and it's, like, an hour.
00:23:10.420
Um, we're, we're talking about our biggest turnoff?
00:23:13.980
Um, like, just something, number, number one thing that annoys you or bothers you, pisses
00:23:19.180
you off about dating, and you can list more than one.
00:23:22.160
A big thing for me is if my date is rude to the waitstaff.
00:23:25.740
So, if we're out to dinner, and they don't say, please, thank you, and they are just a
00:23:32.100
rude person, that's, ugh, you're not getting a second date.
00:23:37.100
Um, I would say, like, the repetitiveness of it, I guess, just, I mean, you can kind of,
00:23:41.760
like, see on Hinge, like, let's say you go on Hinge, you're swiping left, right, you,
00:23:44.760
you, like, people respond with, like, hey, or what's up, and then the dates.
00:23:49.220
Like, if I, like, am going to meet someone, I'd rather meet them in a very, in, like,
00:23:53.780
a spontaneous way rather than, like, do the repetitive dates and the, that kind of thing.
00:23:58.840
Oh, yeah, um, for me, it's definitely not respecting me for my choice.
00:24:10.660
If you need, just, you might be scooted back too far if you want to scoot in a little bit.
00:24:14.700
Okay, so, um, so there's the, after I said, like, a little bit exaggerating, but I said,
00:24:25.980
No, I was, like, a little bit joking at that time.
00:24:29.200
But, yeah, I mean, the, like, I am rebellious to my parents a little bit, and he took me
00:24:37.060
to a store in China, and he put two bars of chocolate in my pocket and tell me that I'll
00:24:45.060
That's the way, like, he defines rebellious, and he's trying to, like, prove me that he
00:24:51.500
And, and I said, no, and he insisting and saying that, no, do it, do it, it's not a big
00:24:59.700
And I was, like, no, and he looked in my eyes and said, you're a little pussy.
00:25:26.320
I wouldn't ruin my reputation for those two bars of chocolate.
00:25:37.900
I don't think stealing would ruin your reputation.
00:25:43.300
Was it, was it at all, was it at all exciting to you, though, that he was like, let's, you're
00:25:56.020
So, were you more attracted to him or less attracted to him after that?
00:26:04.720
I would say the most annoying thing about dating is indecisiveness.
00:26:08.980
I think a lot of people don't know what they want nowadays, and they don't know what they
00:26:23.840
I really can't stand small talk, but I feel like when you're first dating, everyone's so
00:26:28.380
worried about having disagreements or different viewpoints that they're, like, really shallow
00:26:34.040
I'm like, we don't have to agree on everything.
00:26:35.720
Like, we can have totally different philosophies about life, but, like, let's talk about that.
00:26:47.680
So, did you ever see him again, or was that, after that, it was done?
00:26:52.700
Was it, like, a Hershey bar, or was it, like, a proper Swiss chocolate bar?
00:27:24.460
So, do you guys think that a relationship should be an equal partnership?
00:27:33.580
I mean, yes, in different ways, I guess, but I also, like, I don't know, there's always that
00:27:44.160
cliche of, like, you know, it's 50-50 in a relationship, and I'm like, well, I'm not
00:27:50.760
I'm 100% of a person, so I'd rather have a person who's also 100% of a person who just,
00:27:55.900
I don't know, I'm not big on reliance in relationships, and I feel like that's where a lot of those
00:28:01.400
dividing numbers and who's doing what comes into play.
00:28:05.680
I don't think there can be a 50-50 relationship.
00:28:07.900
I think men and women are both different, and there's different expectations and responsibilities
00:28:12.880
and things you do in a relationship in a heterosexual monogamous relationship.
00:28:18.340
Yeah, I don't think that's 50-50, and it can be, like, day-to-day, and maybe today I'll
00:28:27.300
do, like, 80, and tomorrow you will do, like, a majority of the work or something.
00:28:38.560
I think that when you talk about, like, 50-50, you can, like, one person could be more loving,
00:28:42.860
but the other could show their acts of love through, like, service or something like that.
00:28:45.920
So I think it's more just about, like, making sure you're giving, like, I feel like it's
00:28:52.240
more just making sure you're giving, like, how you know how to love more than, like, oh,
00:28:56.740
Like, I think, like, um, a relationship where it's, like, it would work is one where you
00:29:04.200
don't have to feel like it's 50-50, one where you feel like you can just put, like, you as
00:29:08.240
a person in it, and it's good enough, you know?
00:29:13.860
Like, it shouldn't be a thing to be, like, oh, did I do my 50% of work today, you know?
00:29:20.600
Like, if you like that person, you like that person.
00:29:23.660
Like, just be sweet to each other, and I heard someone say once that it should be 60-40
00:29:29.560
from both ends, so everyone's constantly doing more than their 50%, but once again, you know,
00:29:37.380
You should just go into it with a big old heart.
00:29:43.360
I think a healthy relationship should be, like, 50-50 to me, because maybe it's not,
00:29:53.660
like, the emotional value and, like, your wealth, like, is different, counted, but you're
00:30:00.000
not counting everything, but it's, like, you feel like it's 50-50.
00:30:06.200
Okay, so my question then is, by the way, are you the only one that said you believe
00:30:15.560
But I think that, I think that when it comes to a healthy relationship, it's just more
00:30:21.280
The 50-50 is, like, the emotional, the physical.
00:30:30.640
Who would you say puts in more effort when it comes to the initial phases of dating?
00:30:37.420
When it comes to the initial phases of dating, men or women?
00:30:45.060
Generally, generally speaking, though, who would you say puts in more effort?
00:30:48.480
Okay, personally, me, I do not hit people up first.
00:30:57.340
But so, how do you reconcile that with you saying that relationships would be 50-50?
00:31:04.220
Because he's somebody up or ask for, like, a first or second date is not an actual relationship.
00:31:19.720
But, like, I thought when you say relationship, that means you guys are, like, exclusive dating, like, that you're committed to somebody.
00:31:32.720
But in the early dating phase, that's not what happened.
00:31:40.120
If you've been dating someone for a year, do you consider that initial, like, let's say the first date you met them?
00:31:50.040
Would you consider that the start of the relationship?
00:32:01.140
Is it when you guys said, okay, we're officially dating?
00:32:09.040
I mean, I could open around the panel for this one.
00:32:12.760
When do you consider, like, when would you consider your anniversary?
00:32:23.340
Um, I don't, I guess, officially, it would be when you start dating, but definitely, there's always, like, I feel like that mention of, like, yeah, you know, we were dating this long, but we were, like, seeing each other way before that.
00:32:39.340
It's, like, a little add-on comment of, like, well.
00:32:42.480
So, I would, um, I'd say, I guess I consider it would, no, I'm not gonna say that.
00:32:48.780
I'd say when you start going on dates, that's when the relationship starts.
00:32:53.180
So, not, like, just talking, but, like, you guys have hung out and gone to a place.
00:32:59.120
When I can, I would say, in my past relationship, we had a definite day of, like, he asked me to be his girlfriend.
00:33:06.660
And then we consider that, like, a year later to be the day that we celebrate for our anniversary.
00:33:17.420
Like, if I'm going on a couple dates with you, there shouldn't be an anniversary until you ask me to be your girlfriend.
00:33:22.940
So, but in that specific scenario, were you guys friends beforehand?
00:33:34.980
See, I, I'm more thinking along the lines of, the very first time you meet the person, it's, there's a romantic, uh, like, if you met someone on a dating app, for example, you're probably, you're not really starting off as friends because there's a romantic undertone there.
00:33:51.040
So, to me, in that scenario, your anniversary would be a year after the first time you meet them.
00:34:03.960
I mean, because a lot of people, it takes them a while to get into a, I guess it depends, but some people can be seeing each other for a month, two months, three months before the conversation is, hey, let's be boyfriend and girlfriend.
00:34:20.920
Um, like, technically, I think that is the first date of, the first date of the, oh, sorry, the date of the first date, and, but, like, personally, I think I can take more anniversaries, or, like, can, can be different, like, first kiss, and for the date.
00:35:07.420
But, but so, and, sorry, remind me, you're 18 or 19?
00:35:13.320
And are you waiting until you're in, like, a long-term serious relationship, or where's your, or do you just want to get, lose it?
00:35:30.040
Okay, so one day you're, like, I want to wait until marriage, and then the next day, I just want to meet some hot dude, and.
00:36:30.460
Just, they're similar words, so I just want to.
00:36:37.600
Okay, but so you said in the beginning of a relationship, you want the guy to do, um, most of the work.
00:36:43.980
Or, I guess I shouldn't use the word relationship, but in the initial stages of dating, you want the guy to do all the effort, correct?
00:36:51.200
I didn't say I want them to do all the effort, um, because if he asks for, like, ask me for, on a date first, maybe the round two is on me, so.
00:37:11.220
Is that the, I'll go around the panel on that, like, who, who do you think should initiate?
00:37:17.780
Um, whoever sees the other person first, I guess, and is like, oh, wow, they're hot.
00:37:26.820
I'm not against girls initiating, but I think that men should be the initiators in most situations.
00:37:34.160
Okay, I don't really initiate, though, so, yeah.
00:37:57.000
Um, like, I got his contact, but it doesn't, like, went well.
00:38:04.220
He's, he's the guy who wanted to steal the chocolate?
00:38:11.260
Um, I don't really, I think initiation goes, like, both ways.
00:38:22.980
Would you say you've initiated about as equally as men have initiated with you?
00:38:28.340
No, I mean, I think guys generally definitely take, like, they think that they have to take
00:38:33.160
the lead initiation, which, like, they can, that's fine, but, so I definitely think I've
00:38:36.580
been, like, I think people have initiated towards me more than I have towards them.
00:38:42.940
Just really quick, so you've initiated, what did you do to initiate?
00:38:48.520
Um, I slid into his DMs, like, this is just one person, but, like, I, um, I had broken
00:38:53.820
up with my boyfriend, and this is someone that I've known, like, I'm friends with him,
00:38:58.280
been to a couple of his, like, house parties, um, and I, like, hit him up, and I, I can't
00:39:03.720
remember what I said, I think I still have the DMs, but I just said something along the
00:39:07.780
lines of, like, pause, like, why are you so fine?
00:39:10.580
Something like that, like, I just, like, fully initiated.
00:39:19.680
How soon after you had broken up with your boyfriend did you slide into his DMs?
00:39:24.320
I don't remember, I think this was probably a couple months after.
00:39:36.860
Yeah, he responded, and he, he basically responded with the same thing, he was, like, like,
00:39:40.240
he said something like, like, pause, why are you so fine?
00:39:44.780
Something like that, just something basically, like, reiterating what I had said, um, and
00:39:54.060
No, we didn't date, um, he had a couple house parties, and we ended up, like, hooking
00:40:04.300
And are there any other examples of times you've initiated?
00:40:09.260
Um, like, not ones that I can think of, but, like, for example, like, when I used to use
00:40:12.660
Hinge often, I would, like, initiate on there, and, you know, and then, um, a couple of my,
00:40:17.800
like, um, most of the, like, the people I've hooked up with have been, like, long-time friends.
00:40:23.200
So, like, those people, like, I would kind of initiate and let them know, like, I was into
00:40:26.440
them, interested, and then see where it went from there.
00:40:28.500
I'm just curious, so, remind me, what, what did he, you say again?
00:40:41.300
Just curious, would, if a guy DM'd you that, would that work on any of y'all?
00:40:53.620
And I was, like, if a guy, if a guy said that to me, I probably wouldn't respond, unless
00:41:06.780
Would you, if a guy DM'd you that, what's your response?
00:41:29.180
Honestly, if they were cute enough, same thing.
00:41:31.380
I'd be, like, okay, let's try this out a little bit.
00:41:33.480
And then, yeah, if the cringe keeps coming, I'm going to be, like, okay, never mind.
00:41:39.800
And really quick, on initiative, have any of you, like, on this side of the table, have
00:41:46.160
you guys ever shot your shot at a guy, gone up to him in a bar, a club, DM?
00:41:54.460
I have not, but I'm also not the kind of person to just start talking to someone, like, in
00:42:03.100
But so, you've never, like, approached a guy, didn't that first little step?
00:42:07.780
I mean, so, Bumble, you have to make the first move.
00:42:19.640
But, did you just say, hey, when you were on Bumble?
00:42:22.840
No, I would not reach out unless I could think of something clever to say.
00:42:34.840
Can you give us an example of how you've initiated?
00:42:38.440
It's, like, basically the same stuff with Angelina, because I've known him for a long time.
00:42:45.520
And, I start feeling that he might have a crush on me, or may not.
00:42:52.860
So, I just, I just sent him, like, I think I like you as, like, not a friend.
00:43:08.980
Has there ever been a time that you initiated with a guy that you didn't know at all?
00:43:17.720
So, I want, Glebis did, you know, he asked for a fit check.
00:43:29.240
So, I think, you know, we got to do a fit check for our boy, Glebis.
00:44:04.580
And, Natasha, can we get, like, a ziz pose from you?
00:44:09.960
Do you remember the pose that Blair did last time?
00:44:46.900
She, okay, and then, Leo, thank you for the $2 soup chat.
00:45:10.580
I want to ask, so, what do you guys think that men want?
00:45:27.060
Like, I'm from Texas, so the things they want in women there are very different than the things they want in women here.
00:45:34.360
There is no general to that question, really, though.
00:45:37.260
I mean, when it comes to dating preferences, it's all variety.
00:45:40.980
It's all on this huge spectrum, so, I don't know.
00:45:45.380
In Texas, they want a sorority girl or a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader and someone to have their babies.
00:46:03.840
I mean, you have half of the cheerleader thing, kind of.
00:46:21.040
If you want to make that comparison, I, yeah, sure.
00:46:36.280
They're not, they like to test out the waters before putting rings on it.
00:46:39.520
They like to be protected and make sure women are on birth control, and it's lovely over here.
00:46:48.440
I mean, I think realistically, especially men here, they're just going to take what they can get.
00:46:58.180
When you say men here, men in California, or just men?
00:47:00.380
Men in this area, specifically, like, in Los Angeles.
00:47:07.340
I think guys want someone that can satisfy them mentally, emotionally, physically, just as girls do.
00:47:17.400
What do you, what do you think guys want in women?
00:47:31.980
They, and they probably need emotional support.
00:47:47.280
I think just generally, like, satisfaction, someone to have around.
00:47:52.260
I feel like that kind of goes the same with, like, all humans.
00:47:54.500
Like, everyone just kind of wants, not just satisfaction, like, sexually, but I think, like,
00:47:58.240
like, you kind of were saying, like, emotionally, physically, like, those kinds of things are
00:48:02.540
what I think every human wants, not just, like, guys or girls.
00:48:08.580
Or, I think it depends on what age they are, you know?
00:48:13.920
I mean, someone in their early 20s is going to be looking for something different than someone
00:48:18.500
So, you know, maybe when you're in your earlier 20s or late teens, you are looking for kind
00:48:29.440
And then, you know, as you age on, you're like, okay, you know what, maybe now I do want
00:48:33.300
a girlfriend, and maybe now I do want a wife, maybe I do want baby mama, anything like that.
00:48:40.680
So, I think it depends on the age, for sure, and it changes for everyone, of course.
00:48:46.960
I agree all above, and I want to add something.
00:48:51.440
Like, maybe sometimes they do want somebody to have a deeper conversation about, like, when
00:48:56.860
you have same interests and, yeah, basically same interests.
00:49:16.280
Like, if you're really serious about this relationship, you will definitely plan your
00:49:27.720
I'm on a date with you, and I say, Lori, what are we going to name our...
00:49:42.740
I just mentioned the relationship I was saying is a serious one.
00:49:52.460
We should start planning the names of our three children.
00:50:05.140
Is that your first and second name, or last name?
00:50:37.520
So, I was trying to have a deep conversation, guys.
00:50:55.940
So, you said men want sex and emotional support.
00:51:21.980
I mean, unless you're, like, come from an obscenely wealthy family.
00:51:45.680
Do you want to be the breadwinner in your relationship?
00:51:47.300
I would like to say, probably, because I'm not sure.
00:52:08.560
I hope not, but, yeah, if that's an accessory, I can.
00:52:12.080
But you think that that's what men want, is to be financially supported?
00:52:25.040
Hensley, would you financially support a boyfriend?
00:52:35.480
Like, when I was 16, like, the guy who took my virginity, he immediately got kicked out of
00:52:40.740
his parents' house right after, and I was like, come live with me.
00:52:43.800
And so, like, it was just kind of like, if I wanted to go out to meals, I was like, okay,
00:52:51.900
But that was 16, so it's a little different now.
00:52:57.760
I would only financially support a guy if he had another plan to financially support himself.
00:53:03.040
Like, if he's working on building a business, sure, maybe I can take care of both of us for
00:53:06.320
the meantime, but as long as you have a bigger plan in mind.
00:53:17.400
Because you're fairly young, so how did you financially support him?
00:53:26.100
But, like, we were younger, so this was, like, when we were 17 and 18.
00:53:37.860
And I was a senior, so he, like, already missed a year, kind of.
00:53:43.920
Yeah, like, he didn't have a job, didn't have a license, didn't have...
00:53:45.960
So, I, like, helped him get all that, which I was, like, totally fine with, like, you
00:53:57.940
And then he got a job, and we'd switch off, like, every day.
00:54:05.200
Yeah, emotionally, I definitely would say that I provided a lot for him.
00:54:17.800
If he's going through a rough patch, then sure, totally.
00:54:24.960
So, you know, I understand, oh, you just lost your job.
00:54:39.340
I have no right to spend my parents' money on a random dude.
00:54:58.680
So, that was my, like, relationship in the past.
00:55:00.440
But I would say, going forward, like, talking, like, past getting our careers, I would want
00:55:08.220
I wouldn't want to, like, share money with my husband.
00:55:10.620
I would want us both to be, like, you know, financially independent on our own.
00:55:14.940
And then, obviously, when you get a house, you'd bring that together.
00:55:17.960
But, like, I would say, for the most part, like, being financially independent, like, for
00:55:24.580
So, since we're on the topic of finances, I figure this is related.
00:55:42.800
Usually, when, if he pay the bill at first, I will say, let's split the bill.
00:55:48.780
And if he insists, like, I can take this one, I will go that way.
00:56:09.380
If he wants to split the bill, we can split the bill.
00:56:11.580
If he's, like, oh, I forgot my card, you know, I got it.
00:56:15.280
I think as long as you're 50-50 on, like, the next one.
00:56:23.160
But, if he really, like, asked, should we split the bill, I would definitely pay the
00:56:30.200
So, if a guy asked to split the whole bill, you'd pay the whole thing.
00:56:47.620
Because, I mean, if a guy asks you first to go out, and he asks to split the bill.
00:56:52.600
And it's not, like, as expensive as, like, 300 bucks.
00:57:08.360
Have you ever been on a date with a guy, and he asked to split the bill?
00:57:12.920
So, of the dates that you've been on, which I suspect hasn't been many, or it's, maybe
00:57:34.260
Of those two dates, did the guy pay, or did you, well, the guys paid.
00:57:40.660
If a guy wants to impress you, if he wants to see you again, if he wants to leave an ounce
00:57:45.140
of a lasting impression, he should definitely pay on the first date.
00:57:48.440
And if he can't afford it, then he shouldn't be going out and dating.
00:57:55.040
I gotta say, like, they should probably, like, yeah, they pay on the first date, and if it's
00:57:59.980
like a split the bill kind of thing, I'll be like, oh, you're gonna be a great friend.
00:58:03.640
So if the guy wants to split, it's not happening for you?
00:58:15.100
A lot of dates I go on, I'm like, ah, you're mediocre.
00:58:17.500
So if it's like a mediocre dude, and I split the bill, I'm like, yeah, probably not.
00:58:21.600
But if it's like someone I'm really interested in, and they just are like paying their own
00:58:26.080
bills, working their own stuff, maybe in a financial bind, then it would be, it depends
00:58:31.980
So if you're really into them, you'll give them a pass if they ask to split.
00:58:35.480
Or, okay, so it's, if it's kind of like you're on the fence about the guy, and he asked to
00:58:45.580
It's kind of two sets of rules there, don't you think?
00:58:56.420
That's, uh, both men and women don't like my take on this.
00:59:02.380
I don't know if, were you there on the panel when we were talking about who should pay?
00:59:08.400
So basically, I mean, a few of you said whoever asks should pay, but the fact of the matter
00:59:14.220
is, is that that ignores the fact that the vast majority of men are the ones that ask.
00:59:18.820
So your answer might as well be men should pay because de facto men are the initiators.
00:59:27.160
99% of all first dates are probably initiated by men.
00:59:35.660
So your answer might as well be men should pay.
00:59:40.840
And then the other thing is you do make a good point, Natasha, though, that yeah, like if
00:59:46.080
you want to probably be viewed in the most favorable light by the woman, you should probably
00:59:51.800
But I have a quarrel with paying, and here's why.
00:59:56.080
A lot of women will go on dates without a genuine interest in the guy.
01:00:02.380
Maybe in the past, if you went on a date with someone, you probably were going to, there's
01:00:06.600
a good chance you were going to seriously pursue that.
01:00:12.240
There's, there's, I think they actually did a study.
01:00:14.340
Something like 20 to 30% of women have reported doing what's called a foodie call, play on
01:00:22.460
the word, on the term booty call, where women will just go on a date just for a free meal.
01:00:29.480
And I want to go around the panel on this, and I'll finish up my, no, I'll go around the
01:00:35.620
So have you ever gone on a date with a guy that you had no intention of sleeping with,
01:00:51.680
Cause I really like going on dates, but if I have no intention of sleeping with them,
01:00:59.140
I'm not sure I understand, like going on a first date and then sleeping with them immediately
01:01:03.040
after the date or like, no, but like, have you gone on a date with a guy and you were
01:01:10.100
Not saying that you had to sleep with him that night, but you were undecided on him.
01:01:16.380
And I think that's the point of going on dates so that you learn more about a person.
01:01:19.560
The difference, the difference is, is that every single guy that goes on, not, I shouldn't
01:01:25.800
say every single, but most men, if they go on a date with a girl, they want to sleep
01:01:29.960
Well, it's not always going to happen, you know?
01:01:35.640
Um, I would say I have no idea about them before I went on a first date.
01:01:45.000
I, I mean, I think I've gone on a lot of dates where the intention wasn't to like ever
01:01:48.400
even like be sexual with them, at least not on the first date.
01:01:51.160
Like, like she said, I think dates are, the whole point is to get to know someone.
01:01:54.920
And if the guy has like a, um, previously like perceived mindset on how the date's going
01:01:59.000
to go, like that's kind of his problem if he didn't mention that beforehand.
01:02:05.280
I guess just to clarify, I don't, I don't mean having the intention of sleeping with the
01:02:13.040
guy that night, but you, you have already deemed him to be attractive enough to sleep
01:02:21.280
And now you're just seeing if you guys get along.
01:02:25.140
But then that's like based on, but then like, let's say you've never met that person before.
01:02:29.360
That could, you could meet them in person and there'd be no chemistry.
01:02:32.460
Then it's like, okay, I don't, you know, want to have sex with this person.
01:02:37.840
I would say for most men, when they go on a date, they, you have to talk yourself out
01:02:47.980
Whereas I think for women, it's oftentimes the reverse, but Shania, go ahead.
01:02:56.740
But I don't think I've gone on a date where I didn't intend to sleep with them.
01:03:05.780
Cause obviously I'm on the date cause I find them attractive.
01:03:09.060
And so if I find you attractive, yes, eventually I'm going to want to sleep with you.
01:03:13.240
Of course, I'm not going to, you know, that night or whatever, but so I don't think I would
01:03:18.160
waste my time with someone that I have no intentions with.
01:03:25.900
I've never gone on date with somebody I'm not sexually attracted to.
01:03:32.700
There's a, I think it's a lot of guys experience also that kind of related to something I previously
01:03:40.620
previously said is that in today's day and age, people have so many, so many more options
01:03:52.380
So back in, if you went on a date in the fifties or sixties or seventies, the likelihood, if
01:03:59.860
you did go on a date, the likelihood of that proceeding was much higher than it is today.
01:04:05.620
So the likelihood of any one given interaction with the opposite sex today working out is
01:04:13.180
Like I'm sure you guys have experience on dating apps in person.
01:04:16.840
Like you probably have to be talking to quite a few more people to finally meet that person
01:04:22.360
that you end up in a relationship with or end up hooking up with.
01:04:26.320
So from a guy's point of view, if the burden, if we're always asking, we're always having
01:04:36.980
I kind of screwed the phrasing up a little bit on the, on the question, but, um, so besides
01:04:43.140
just foodie calls, and this is why men, I don't, I don't think men, I think men should
01:04:49.680
I don't think men should pay on the first date.
01:04:51.880
Now there are some scenarios where I'll pay and I can get into that later.
01:04:55.020
But the thing is, is that a man paying is him adhering to his traditional gender roles.
01:05:02.660
But the fact of the matter is, is that in today's day and age, my, my advice to men is
01:05:08.400
you do not adhere to your traditional gender roles with women who are not traditional women
01:05:12.820
and newsflash, 90% of women are not traditional women.
01:05:17.300
So you can't have new, new order for you and old order for men.
01:05:23.280
So men, I don't think you should be adhering to your traditional gender roles if she's
01:05:33.120
That's, and, and also the fact this kind of relates to women not being traditional women
01:05:43.600
I'm not going to pay, I'm not going to pay for a girl who's fucking someone else.
01:05:47.320
And the fact of the matter is the dating meta, as it is, you have to assume when you're
01:05:51.700
first meeting someone, they're fucking at least one other person.
01:05:54.800
Cause I know girls that are fucking one, two, three guys, and I'm going to go on a date
01:06:00.660
You're going to get a to go bag and give it to the guy you're fucking.
01:06:04.560
Like to me, that's just, I might not know you're doing that, but to me, I'm not going
01:06:10.680
So the way the dating meta is, I have to assume going in, she's fucking another guy.
01:06:14.920
To me, that's not, you're not adhering to your traditional gender roles.
01:06:21.300
I want to open it up to the panel and let you guys respond.
01:06:31.700
And with that said, also going along with her, you're probably not leaving a lot of impressions
01:06:38.240
So they're okay to go fuck whoever else, but you know, you didn't have to pay for their
01:06:43.280
meal, but you're definitely lowering your chance of getting your dick sucked.
01:06:51.400
But hey, we're not traditional women, so you never know.
01:06:54.660
The thing is, is that most of the women in this town are very, would consider themselves
01:07:03.700
So my additional view is you can't be feminist until the check comes.
01:07:08.540
So if you believe in equality, you have to believe in it across the board.
01:07:12.780
Equality is not a buffet that you get to pick and choose from.
01:07:16.240
You don't get to pick the stuff that benefits you and say, oh, no, I want the traditional
01:07:29.920
But broadly speaking, most of the women in this town, I would say, are fairly liberal
01:07:41.320
and would probably identify as feminist or believe in equality.
01:07:52.740
I mean, I respect everything that you just said, but if I'm getting to the point of going
01:07:59.240
on a date with you, that means I'm giving you a solid chance to make a lasting impression
01:08:04.940
Because for me, I think I have a more traditional way of going about things.
01:08:12.100
If I find a guy interesting enough to give him my attention, I am giving him my full attention.
01:08:16.920
And if he, you know, obviously it's a two-sided street, I'm going to try and portray myself
01:08:24.380
in the best way possible, and I expect him to do the same.
01:08:26.520
I expect there to be, you know, mutual, everyone's doing their best, you know.
01:08:33.960
So I think that, you know, for girls that are really trying to get to know a guy, I mean,
01:08:43.880
The girls that are just going on dates with you just for the free food, or just to have
01:08:49.680
It's just, it's so easy to weed people out, in my opinion.
01:08:53.060
Well, it's not always obvious, and a lot of women are unassuming.
01:09:00.060
Sometimes you can tell, like, yeah, this chick, she's a big partier, she's probably fucking
01:09:15.140
For me, if I'm giving you a solid chance to go on a date with me, you are my sole attention.
01:09:26.900
If I'm not talking to one guy, then I'm going and working on myself.
01:09:43.900
Your options are definitely a lot more open if you're on the dating app.
01:09:48.640
But you're saying, if you're seeing a guy, you're kind of going to put other options...
01:09:55.080
You're going to pursue that, see where it goes.
01:09:59.900
But you're not, like, concurrently dating, like, three, four guys at the same time.
01:10:05.280
And I would never go on a date just for the food or just for the attention.
01:10:12.720
And actually, my roommate, he was like, Natasha, you're in LA now.
01:10:18.480
If I were a girl, I'd be going on dates, like, every night of the week.
01:10:23.140
Like, my male roommate literally said that to me.
01:10:30.760
And you're not going to find good people doing that.
01:10:33.440
Do you think that you're an outlier, though, in terms of how you approach dating?
01:10:43.940
Because, I mean, I even have girlfriends who, you know, they treat dating like kind of like a game.
01:10:56.380
You know, they can pick any guy out of a room and they're going to say yes to a date.
01:11:00.640
And then they're going to get free food out of a dinner.
01:11:15.760
So, what percentage of women do you think think like you?
01:11:41.980
Were these values instilled in you by your parents?
01:11:48.140
Or, like, how did you come to these conclusions about dating?
01:11:54.560
I would say you have a very mature approach to kind of what you're looking for in your dating.
01:12:04.480
I wasn't really allowed to date until high school.
01:12:06.620
And so, I was able to, you know, see my friends dating.
01:12:09.020
And I was able to see the toxicity that, you know, relationships can have.
01:12:15.200
And also, my parents raised me, teaching me, like, that I am worth more.
01:12:19.700
Sometimes, I would get into relationships with guys and my mom would be like,
01:12:26.020
But then, as you get older, you just look back on relationships and you're like, dang.
01:12:37.440
It has to do with your view of your self-worth.
01:12:46.440
So, anyways, me and Natasha had a little back and forth there.
01:12:49.400
But do you have a response to what I was saying, like, two or three minutes ago?
01:12:58.760
But, like, not for advantage, but for their, like...
01:13:04.680
So, if there's, like, rules overlap, it's good.
01:13:15.700
That, like, if two people got different rules that you pay or I pay...
01:13:22.520
Oh, and what you just said, your theory doesn't work on me, like, fucking around.
01:13:31.880
You don't want to pay for a girl that fuck different...
01:13:46.380
Well, in the same way that Natasha's a bit of an outlier, you're an outlier, too.
01:14:00.880
Well, no, but a woman's adult human female, so...
01:14:15.680
But, I mean, it's probably, like, by the time a woman's 18 or 19, the proportion of them
01:14:20.680
that are still a virgin and haven't slept with anybody, it must be less than 10%, less
01:14:27.420
And they're probably going to lose it within the next year.
01:14:35.880
But, so, your point is, is that my whole scenario of the reason why I wouldn't pay is with your
01:14:43.380
I just said different people got different rules.
01:14:48.320
So, in the scenario I provided where a scenario...
01:14:54.760
I wouldn't pay for a girl because my expectation going into a date is she's probably hooking
01:15:04.440
So, but for you, obviously, that wouldn't apply because the situation you find yourself
01:15:21.660
If they invited me to a date and they, you know, want to take me there, I'm fine with
01:15:29.160
I guess, so, just my, to respond to what I said, do you think that it's fairly common
01:15:34.720
that people have, and I suppose this can apply to both men and women, but do you think that
01:15:41.300
for a lot of guys, they should have an expectation that if they're going on a date with a girl,
01:15:46.160
that that girl's probably talking to another guy, sleeping with another guy?
01:15:50.740
But that's just, it just depends on the person.
01:15:53.720
Like, for example, I could ask you, have you ever gone on a date with a guy, and also,
01:15:59.440
I should open this up to the panel, have you ever gone on a date with a guy, but you were
01:16:27.140
What is, I guess, I might have asked you this in the previous episode.
01:16:31.040
What's the most amount of men you've concurrently been sleeping with?
01:16:41.120
I don't really sleep around a lot, necessarily.
01:16:52.900
So, when me and my ex-boyfriend broke up, it was, it was, like, we broke up in, like,
01:16:58.900
It was just because, you know, I need to work on myself, and I couldn't do that with him
01:17:05.960
I find out he's, he slept with my best friend, and then I went and I hooked up with his.
01:17:15.060
I wouldn't say that I went on a date while that, like, while I was sleeping with someone
01:17:18.120
else, but I would say that I, like, talked to multiple people at one time.
01:17:24.780
I mean, I think, actually, Precious hit really well on the head.
01:17:28.560
Like, it was, you know, it's, dating is a game, and everyone's got their own rules.
01:17:32.680
So, you know, that's your rule, and Tasha's rule is different, and everyone's rules are
01:17:38.000
So, you kind of just got to find someone who's playing the same rules of the same game.
01:17:47.380
Like, the, your opinion panel or sleeping men panel?
01:18:03.020
One is Angelina's, like, have you ever sleep a man, like, and date different guy?
01:18:10.800
The other is about your opinion about dating, splitting the bill?
01:18:16.520
I will definitely agree with your opinion, because I respect everything, but I do not
01:18:25.200
like the way how you just assume some girl you are, you met, maybe on dating app, maybe
01:18:31.440
you just hit her up in real life, are fucking with other guys.
01:18:37.820
You don't like that I'm making that assumption?
01:18:40.500
And, also, the fact that, oh, it's maybe not a fact.
01:18:44.260
You said, how many adult women are virgin right now?
01:18:48.500
Well, maybe open your eyes up and look around the whole world.
01:19:00.260
Because a woman in, for example, a very religious country is going to be more likely to be a
01:19:09.880
But, like, I can't talk about the dating culture in Ethiopia.
01:19:17.520
The USA is a large country, so we can talk about the USA, and a lot of these concepts probably
01:19:27.940
Oh, well, I'm not from the Western world, so I'm sorry I don't get your rules.
01:19:32.300
But, so, I'm just curious, so you object to me saying that most adult, most, most women,
01:19:40.360
say, between the ages of 18 or 19 are not virgins?
01:19:45.780
You think it's more than 50% of women who are...
01:19:51.100
That's what I'm thinking, like, in the whole world.
01:19:57.600
Have you seen the partying that goes on in Santa Barbara?
01:20:08.020
Well, like, I'm from Orange County, and it's...
01:20:10.000
I can, like, definitely say most of the girls have definitely lost it.
01:20:40.000
The current relationship I'm in is the first relationship I've been in.
01:20:44.760
And, you know, I just wanted to be super comfortable with whoever I decided to sleep with.
01:21:07.020
I thought you had a boyfriend for, like, a year and a half.
01:21:16.020
Well, that doesn't even really count as a relationship, I reckon.
01:21:28.340
But, so, and just a reminder, so you're 19 or 18?
01:21:43.780
Fact of the matter is, and I don't have an expectation that a girl I'm seeing is a virgin.
01:21:52.280
But, in today's day and age, most guys are not expecting a girl to be a virgin the first time they hook up, so.
01:22:02.980
Do you think the girl you date will expect you to be a virgin?
01:22:10.560
Like, the girl you date, do you think they will, like, expect you to be a virgin?
01:22:17.560
And I think most women probably don't want their partner to be a virgin.
01:22:22.360
Most women would probably want their partner to be more sexually experienced.
01:22:34.760
There's nothing wrong with that, by the way, if you do, but...
01:22:43.080
I don't really care, and I will not really want to know before, like, we get there.
01:22:50.400
Yeah, like, before we actually get there and talking about his former sexual experience is...
01:23:00.180
Well, I don't think it's always a great idea to go into detail about former sexual experiences,
01:23:05.600
but even if you wouldn't even want to know if he had had sex before.
01:23:09.560
Like, if he brought it up himself, then I'll be, like, okay with it, but I don't ask.
01:23:19.060
Okay, so this is news to me that you're also a virgin, so I'm just curious.
01:23:35.880
You just want to meet the right guy, but you're ready to go?
01:23:47.860
Anyways, but so you objected to my characterization that most women, 18 to 19-year-old women, are not virgins.
01:24:00.080
There's probably been some studies on the average age at which most people lose their virginity,
01:24:05.460
but I would suspect that the majority of people lose their virginity by 18 or 19.
01:24:16.740
Do you think it's maybe a bit older, or what do you think on that?
01:24:21.360
Well, based on the information I get from the table, I guess most of the girls lost their virginity
01:24:26.820
before they turn it to adulthood, but I respect it.
01:24:32.820
Like, there's nothing wrong with it, so maybe I'm wrong.
01:24:40.240
Yeah, because maybe look at India, China, Korea, and Middle East.
01:24:51.840
Well, I don't anticipate doing any dating in Qatar anytime soon, but I'm trying to think here.
01:25:08.600
Our parents just don't allow us dating until college.
01:25:12.600
Oh, my parents don't allow me to date in college.
01:25:16.160
Would your parents, if they found out that you...
01:25:23.360
Is premarital sex, like, frowned upon in China?
01:25:26.780
So having sex before marriage, is that frowned upon in China?
01:25:30.360
It's not, like, a deal-breaker, but some family,
01:25:34.440
they think that is a really, like, severe situation.
01:25:43.020
Okay, so I don't know how deep I want to go into the Chinese dating culture, but...
01:26:00.320
Does anyone remember we were talking about, I think, paying for first dates?
01:26:06.580
there are some scenarios which I would pay for a girl on a date.
01:26:15.120
One, if I could somehow, like, if I knew that she wasn't the town bicycle,
01:26:25.360
Under those circumstances, I might be more willing to pay.
01:26:41.320
There's, like, I'm not going to get into it now,
01:26:46.460
Sometimes they're sleeper hoes, though, so you can't always know.
01:26:50.880
So the other scenario is if she's younger than me
01:27:00.880
like, realizing that there's a disproportion there
01:27:11.640
And also, if I was like, hey, I want to go to Hawaii,
01:27:13.620
which is something I've done with past girlfriends,
01:27:23.500
Yeah, I'll pay for the flights, hotel, everything, you know,
01:27:25.980
because I want to go and I want her to be there with me.
01:27:32.980
Hensley, you looked like you were going to say something,
01:27:37.340
I did just say, it's hard going into that without expectation
01:27:41.980
like, the outlier isn't the person who's sleeping with other people.
01:27:46.040
Like, I feel like I was more of the outlier of, like,
01:27:48.380
I go on dates and I'm also sleeping with other people.
01:27:51.000
But most girls, I think, get a lot more emotionally involved
01:27:54.360
and they aren't someone to do that necessarily.
01:27:58.160
because it's almost like you're putting yourself down
01:28:01.760
that you don't think a girl would be interested in you solely.
01:28:04.060
I mean, the experiences that I've had here in Santa Barbara,
01:28:17.040
The ex is maybe still kind of in the picture somehow.
01:28:25.600
You've never gone on a date but still had feelings for your ex
01:28:28.260
or gone on a date but also had a hinge app open
01:28:36.480
and now you met someone that you're really interested in.
01:28:38.780
But, like, what if they went into it with that same expectations
01:28:41.340
and even though they're right, it's still, I don't know.
01:28:46.340
They're still not going to pay for the full bill.
01:28:51.940
I was talking about that within the context of paying for the first date.
01:28:57.500
I'm not really interested in just running through a bunch of girls.
01:29:04.740
with the podcast and everything and other things, other work things.
01:29:09.580
So I don't have time to be going on, like, a ton of fucking dates.
01:29:13.140
And when I was, you know, when I was a bit younger, you know,
01:29:20.660
And dating takes so much time, I find, anyways, as a guy.
01:29:27.980
So it doesn't interest me to be constantly going on new dates.
01:29:32.580
And I'm not interested in the one-time thing either.
01:29:38.760
There's this Sir Mix-a-Lot song, Baby Got Back.
01:29:44.220
some punks like to hit it and quit it, but I'd rather stay and play.
01:29:48.560
Like, I don't, there's no appeal to me to just sleep with a girl once.
01:29:53.820
Like, I've had girls that are, they're coming through town.
01:29:56.560
Santa Barbara's a tourist town, so a lot of people are here on the weekends,
01:29:58.920
just here for vacation or just here to see a friend or something.
01:30:02.580
And I've had girls that are down to fuck, down to hook up.
01:30:10.620
I want to continue seeing them and pursue that.
01:30:12.260
What if they offered to take you on a date and pay for the bill?
01:30:20.720
But you still want to go on a date and go get food.
01:30:29.780
Not even for the experience of another human being?
01:30:38.180
I like to experience my humans for longer-term durations.
01:30:50.420
Do we have any, I think we got only just a couple super chats here.
01:31:10.840
Speaking on the topic of finances, would you rather be broken hot or wealthy and ugly?
01:31:43.880
Um, like I said, I just wanted to be comfortable.
01:31:46.620
And, um, there was just not anyone that I was that comfortable with.
01:31:53.000
Um, and so I used to think that, oh, I wanted to be in a serious relationship.
01:32:00.360
I wanted to be, you know, just really sure that we were exclusive.
01:32:05.520
Um, and then, you know, as I kind of aged a little bit more, I was like, maybe I should
01:32:10.560
Like, I think the real thing I'm looking for is comfort.
01:32:17.880
Um, I chose not to tell him that I was a virgin.
01:32:38.300
Or he could be like, yo, this girl was a virgin.
01:32:47.140
But so, from the age of like, what, 18 to 24, were you just not dating at all?
01:32:55.600
Um, I, like I said, I was dating around, but not in that kind of way.
01:33:00.660
Um, I truly was just going on a lot of first dates, a lot of second dates, not so much third
01:33:07.340
So, you just never met a guy that met your standards?
01:33:18.700
Like, your sense of humor's go together really well.
01:33:21.580
And there's kind of that, you know, flirt to roast ratio where you guys can kind of just
01:33:40.080
I mean, I think my first date was, like, when I was 18, and then my first kiss was 21.
01:33:47.120
Um, and so, I was, I was a late bloomer, a little bit.
01:33:56.000
Oh, I thought you were, you were about to, okay.
01:33:58.580
Um, wait, so, the first guy that you had sex with, did you, like, how long did you wait?
01:34:23.920
I just want to ask this, because you say, you know, it's rare.
01:34:31.560
Yet, you have three girls in your room right now.
01:34:50.280
You're not supposed to give your age in modeling, so that's what I was trying to be.
01:35:13.880
So, your question is, what do I think that there's three virgins at the table?
01:35:21.660
Well, you aren't any longer a virgin, so there's two virgins at the table.
01:35:29.500
The guy that had you try to steal chocolate, I think there was something that happened there.
01:35:33.280
Is there something you're not telling us about the chocolate guy?
01:36:18.120
That's like top 99th percentile for a female's height.
01:36:22.360
So, was one of your standards for a guy that he'd be taller than you?
01:36:35.400
Would you say that you have really high standards?
01:36:43.420
So, I have, you know, I want him to treat me with respect.
01:36:51.560
Um, you know, no one can, can change how they look, you know?
01:36:58.160
Like, um, for the height thing, you know, I've gone on dates with a guy who's 5'7".
01:37:11.600
But there are definitely some, some sort of stuff that I need.
01:37:39.920
Um, minimum height for you in terms of, uh, your height and then minimum height.
01:38:05.600
And, um, probably like 5'5 would be my minimum.
01:38:17.020
Um, I haven't dated a guy who's 5'5", but like.
01:38:24.000
I like short guys more than I like taller guys, actually.
01:38:31.440
And if I can, I would like to prefer to taller guys.
01:38:45.120
And then, so, what's your minimum height for a guy?
01:39:03.300
So, like, 5'11", and 3 quarters, it's just not...
01:39:05.780
That's fine, you know, but just make, like, you know, a lot taller.
01:39:14.080
Um, I'm 5'8", and I can do, like, 5'5", but they have to be, like, muscular.
01:39:23.360
And if they're into platform boots, I can go lower.
01:40:02.780
There's a scene where Dave Chappelle is, like, got these dirty shoes on and just digging
01:40:16.060
They're not dirty, but they remind me of the skit, the Rick James skit, for some reason.
01:40:33.120
Anyways, Glebis came in with the super chat here.
01:40:41.740
Ladies, do you prefer partner to be younger, same age, older?
01:40:50.180
So, like, would you answer his question, but also, would you date an older guy?
01:41:02.420
I find that the average 27, 28-year-old boy has about the mind of a 22-year-old girl.
01:41:11.260
So, wait, a 27, 28-year-old boy, man, has the...
01:41:15.420
A mental maturity of around a 22-year-old girl.
01:41:26.400
I would date within the range of, like, four or five years from my age.
01:41:38.260
Um, I don't care about the age, but, like, yeah, like, 10 years.
01:41:49.780
Oh, wait, but not now for the younger ones, because they can't be eight years old right
01:41:58.940
Yeah, that'd probably get you in a lot of trouble, I imagine.
01:42:06.160
Like, even guys my age, I'm still, like, okay, you have to at least be, like, five months
01:42:11.500
Um, unless, like, there's obviously some exceptions, but I would say, like, my age or older, oldest
01:42:17.680
I would go, like, like, as an 18-year-old, probably oldest I would go is, like, 24, 25.
01:42:28.660
Um, my current boyfriend is turning 26 in November, so this is the youngest I've dated
01:42:36.620
Um, I would love the guy I'm dating with is around the same age as me.
01:42:41.240
Um, like, for now, it's, like, college age would be nice.
01:42:53.360
And I guess only, like, four of the six of you can answer this question.
01:42:59.900
If the sex is bad, if the sex is trash, is it a rap?
01:43:15.140
He's attractive, good money, good personality, loyal, but the sex is terrible.
01:43:26.880
Every part of me wants to say, yeah, it's a no-go.
01:43:29.240
But the recent guy I was just seeing, I stuck around for, oh, I stuck around and the sex
01:43:40.300
Go-go dancer, if you're watching this, you're free to come on the show and challenge Hensley
01:43:56.180
It just wasn't, like, there was no point where he was concerned about me coming, and
01:44:00.620
so it was a lot of just, like, oh, this is happening.
01:44:04.560
Like, it wasn't goal-oriented, but it also wasn't, like, there for the journey.
01:44:16.820
Hey, guys, in the chat, can we get candles, like, the vigil candles for Hensley's sex life
01:44:31.580
He didn't know what he was doing, or he just didn't care?
01:44:35.780
Like I said, like, I don't use the word narcissist lightly.
01:44:41.700
I think he believed he was making me come, which was even more confusing, because after
01:44:46.320
not making me come, he'd be like, you know, I always got you, and I'm like, what do you
01:45:02.220
He was so sure of himself, and I'm like, you probably shouldn't be this sure of yourself.
01:45:05.560
I think you need to be humbled, but that's how it went.
01:45:12.080
So it sounds like you'll stick around for a bit if the sex isn't there.
01:45:16.560
I'll stick around for a bit if the sex is trash, and, like, I like them enough.
01:45:20.320
I mean, did you communicate to him, like, step it up, or what?
01:45:27.880
And that is where I have to take responsibility for it as well.
01:45:31.260
Are you, like, I don't know if this is getting, like, because for some women, it's harder
01:45:40.000
Oh, I mean, I, it's definitely, like, I guess could be, like, I take a little longer, but
01:45:45.600
if I'm really attracted to you, and I was so attracted to this guy, it really wouldn't
01:45:50.760
So I was, yeah, I kept thinking, I was like, you really, like, just could poke my clitoris
01:45:55.540
at this point, and I'll be good, man, like, no.
01:46:05.100
One of the times was actually a successful one, but, like, yeah, the first time we hooked
01:46:08.520
up, he went down on me, and he was like, don't worry, babe, you don't have to suck my dick.
01:46:12.260
I just felt like eating you out, and I was like, I wasn't even offering.
01:46:25.220
We were just dating each other for, like, six weeks.
01:46:47.620
Sex is a huge part of a relationship, and it can actually, like, really affect relationships
01:46:52.560
if someone's not feeling like they're being taken care of.
01:46:56.780
If the sex is really bad, I don't think there is a future.
01:47:00.080
Sexual chemistry is important, so I think that should be a factor of, you know.
01:47:06.880
Like, if you don't have sexual chemistry with someone, that's kind of your body's way of telling
01:47:11.160
you, like, this is probably not the person you should be with.
01:47:13.640
So, I guess just to add on to my question a bit, if the sex is bad the first time, is
01:47:20.140
it a wrap, or are you going to continue to give him a chance?
01:47:25.340
Are you going to try to teach him, or do you want a guy to just kind of get it from the
01:47:33.660
I think sex can be improved, but if I don't feel like it can be improved, then it's over.
01:47:40.440
We can have you kind of come in on this, right?
01:47:44.680
Like, if the first time, if the sex was really bad, and it continued being bad throughout the
01:48:01.980
Um, I, well, my ex-boyfriend was a virgin when we, like, had our first time, and, like,
01:48:08.620
obviously there are things that need, like, there's things that need working on in, like,
01:48:13.400
any, when, like, you start having sex with anyone, I think there's just always going to
01:48:18.740
Um, but, like, yeah, if, if the sex, like, if we worked on it for, like, months, and it
01:48:23.360
was still just, like, trash, which, like, isn't the case most of the time, but, like, if it
01:48:27.860
was, I would probably end it, because, like, that's, you know, you're in a, you're in a
01:48:34.400
relationship because you had sexual chemistry, you were attracted to them, and if you can't,
01:48:37.980
like, step up to the plate on that one, it's probably not going to end up well.
01:48:45.480
Um, so, wait, are you changing the question to if it's bad the first time, would you go
01:48:53.840
Kind of both, like, because for some women, if the sex is bad the first time, like, that's
01:49:01.480
it, but if it also continues being bad, is it a wrap?
01:49:07.880
Um, I think going off of what Tasha said, you know, if the first time is bad, if the
01:49:12.800
chemistry is not there or anything, it's definitely something you can work on.
01:49:16.460
I think that's a fun part of sex, is exploration, and just kind of figuring out what we like, and
01:49:22.860
Um, but yeah, if it does, if they're a little bit more close-minded, like, if they're like,
01:49:27.700
no, I know I'm doing a good job, and there's no way around it, then yeah, I think it's
01:49:38.940
Um, if the first time is trash, I will definitely, like, have a second shot, because I believe
01:49:45.560
it could be improved, just like, like, you guys said.
01:49:55.460
It's not a deal-breaker for me, if the sex is bad, because we can work on that, I think.
01:50:13.020
this is related to sex, if the guy's not willing to go down on you?
01:50:20.620
Because you don't like going down on girls, right?
01:50:43.400
Um, if he don't, like, don't want to go down for me,
01:52:05.700
that's okay, but I'm not going to go down on you.