Whatever Podcast - January 29, 2023


Dating Talk #2


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 29 minutes

Words per Minute

164.23314

Word Count

24,543

Sentence Count

2,548

Misogynist Sentences

132

Hate Speech Sentences

74


Summary

In this episode of Whatever Dating Talk, we have our first guest on the show, Brooke! She's a coffee shop manager in Isla Vista, California, and is in a relationship with her best friend, Deana. We talk about how they met, why they started dating, and what it's like being in a long term relationship.


Transcript

00:00:00.880 Welcome to the Whatever Dating Talk podcast.
00:00:04.520 We're coming to you live from Isla Vista, Santa Barbara County, California.
00:00:09.140 I'm your host, Brian Atlas.
00:00:11.060 That's Brian with an X.
00:00:12.160 The X is silent.
00:00:13.040 You don't pronounce it.
00:00:14.500 Joined by my co-host, Kiki.
00:00:17.280 She changed her name from a couple weeks ago.
00:00:20.600 Thank you to tracysdog.com for the complimentary mannequin, let's just call it.
00:00:27.840 We're going to get the link in bio soon.
00:00:30.000 This is the Dating Talk podcast where we talk about dating, debauchery, and relationships.
00:00:34.320 Anything goes.
00:00:35.820 Shout out to Fresh and Fit for the inspiration.
00:00:37.960 Check them out on YouTube.
00:00:39.480 This is only our second dating show.
00:00:41.120 We're doing it live, so appreciate your understanding while we're still working out the flow and pacing.
00:00:46.800 Also, English is my second language, so please excuse me if I stutter or speak slow.
00:00:51.740 A few quick announcements before the show begins.
00:00:54.120 This channel is viewer-supported.
00:00:55.660 We are heavily demonetized by YouTube.
00:00:57.320 So I humbly request your patronage.
00:01:00.660 All the money I make, I pour back into making videos.
00:01:03.640 You know, the studio, Rent and Sound Barber is crazy.
00:01:06.700 I want to get more cameras for new angles.
00:01:08.700 Right now we've got three.
00:01:10.280 I'd like to get at least two more cameras, more mics for more guests, better computer.
00:01:14.380 We've had so many computer issues.
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00:02:03.540 Here's a big one.
00:02:04.880 We also stream to Twitch.
00:02:06.600 We are live there right now, twitch.tv slash whatever.
00:02:10.040 If you have Amazon Prime, you can link it to a Twitch account.
00:02:13.300 And every month you can sub totally free on Twitch.
00:02:15.420 Takes one minute to set up.
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00:02:20.040 All links are in the description.
00:02:21.980 We need chat mods on YouTube and Twitch, help with timestamps, et cetera.
00:02:25.340 DM us if you're down to help.
00:02:28.700 We also need a studio intern if you live in Santa Barbara.
00:02:31.940 DM me.
00:02:33.260 Without further ado, let's get right into it.
00:02:36.660 So we're going to have the guests introduce themselves.
00:02:40.460 So please tell us your name, age, occupation, or school, major, and relationship status.
00:02:48.920 And let's start with you.
00:02:49.960 Hi.
00:02:50.840 I'm Deanna.
00:02:51.560 I am 23, and I am a college student, and I am single.
00:02:58.380 I'll get to the microphone.
00:02:59.820 Oh.
00:03:00.200 Or in short.
00:03:02.860 All right.
00:03:03.380 I'm Brooke.
00:03:04.160 I'm 24.
00:03:05.240 I'm a coffee shop manager.
00:03:07.660 I just graduated with my bachelor's, and I am in a relationship.
00:03:14.740 Oh.
00:03:15.340 Oh.
00:03:16.000 Samantha.
00:03:16.740 You go ahead, Samantha.
00:03:17.540 Hi, I am Samantha.
00:03:19.520 I live in Santa Barbara, and I am 39 and single.
00:03:26.120 I am a coach for entrepreneurs and a mentor.
00:03:31.180 Do you want to plug your Instagram or your website?
00:03:35.040 Yeah.
00:03:35.520 Sorry.
00:03:36.320 Go ahead.
00:03:36.760 Go ahead.
00:03:36.980 Yeah, you can find me at SamanthaLoveBlossom if you want some sparkly awakening codes to
00:03:44.980 activate your wealth and abundance.
00:03:48.480 All right.
00:03:49.440 My name is Coco.
00:03:50.940 My Instagram handle is at QueenCocoPuffs with a Z at the end.
00:03:56.300 I am 19.
00:03:57.680 I am majoring in business and entrepreneurship, and I currently work at Los Agaves in Santa Barbara.
00:04:03.720 You work at Los Agaves?
00:04:05.000 Yes.
00:04:05.360 Can you hook it up, you think?
00:04:07.660 By the way, for those watching, Los Agaves is a really good Mexican restaurant here in Santa Barbara.
00:04:13.340 Yeah, one of the top five, I believe, restaurants in Santa Barbara.
00:04:16.960 That black salsa?
00:04:18.400 Oh, yeah.
00:04:19.460 That's a good one.
00:04:20.420 Yeah.
00:04:20.680 That's a good one.
00:04:21.340 I'll hook it up.
00:04:22.200 Okay.
00:04:23.380 Okay.
00:04:23.860 And so you two are single, and you two are currently in a relationship.
00:04:28.160 Oh, yeah.
00:04:28.180 Yes.
00:04:28.880 Okay.
00:04:29.820 And are they long-term relationships or kind of shorter term?
00:04:32.460 I mean, I don't know what you would consider long-term, like time span.
00:04:38.380 Yeah, like how long were you guys having been together?
00:04:40.880 I think eight months.
00:04:41.960 Same.
00:04:42.680 Okay.
00:04:42.980 Like seven months, almost eight.
00:04:44.720 Okay.
00:04:45.580 Got it.
00:04:46.140 And your name again is Dia, correct?
00:04:48.280 Deanna.
00:04:48.880 Deanna.
00:04:49.520 But okay, on Instagram, it's okay.
00:04:51.080 Yeah.
00:04:51.480 Got it.
00:04:51.620 You can call me D, though.
00:04:52.900 Call you D?
00:04:53.620 Yeah.
00:04:53.840 Okay.
00:04:54.280 It doesn't matter.
00:04:55.300 Got it.
00:04:56.180 So the first question of the night, is dating easier for men or for women?
00:05:05.560 And we're going to start with Coco here.
00:05:07.520 Okay.
00:05:09.700 My opinion is I feel that dating is a little bit harder for men.
00:05:14.420 I feel like women have these standards that most men are going to have to uphold to meet
00:05:19.640 their standards and to even get into a relationship.
00:05:22.720 Meanwhile, men have to definitely pursue a woman if they want her.
00:05:26.080 I don't see many women going after men these days, as we should.
00:05:31.760 So I feel like men have to put in a lot more effort financially in this economy.
00:05:37.880 I mean, I feel like most women, when you go out on the first date, if it's a guy's idea,
00:05:41.680 you want him to pay.
00:05:42.660 So I feel like there's a financial aspect to that as well.
00:05:47.140 Not to mention just emotional stuff.
00:05:50.080 I feel like it's harder for men to explain their emotions and for that to come off to
00:05:54.960 women.
00:05:55.380 So I feel like it's a lot for a guy to even be open to a relationship.
00:05:59.400 Good answer.
00:06:01.760 Wow.
00:06:02.680 That was good.
00:06:03.920 Write that down.
00:06:06.600 Samantha, what do you think?
00:06:07.620 I feel like it's probably the same for both men and women, depending on their mindsets.
00:06:15.480 And I think that some women naturally have a mindset that, okay, it's easy to date.
00:06:23.080 And I think some men have a natural mindset that it's easy to date.
00:06:26.420 I've actually met gentlemen that were not very physically good looking, but they had a really
00:06:33.640 amazing positive mindset.
00:06:35.640 And they would just have like women flocking towards them.
00:06:38.500 And I've also met very attractive men that didn't have a very good mindset that had a
00:06:44.700 really hard time dating.
00:06:45.640 So I think from my perspective, it's probably the same.
00:06:48.760 It just depends on what this person and what their emotional energetics are.
00:06:54.540 So you think about, it's about the same for men and women.
00:06:57.860 They both face the same level of difficulty, broadly speaking, when it comes to dating.
00:07:03.380 Yes.
00:07:03.700 Okay.
00:07:05.740 I kind of have like a, well, my like first thought was about like, it also kind of depends
00:07:11.420 on like your sexual orientation because there are different like expectations depending
00:07:18.060 on who you're trying to date.
00:07:21.480 So for me, like I've primarily dated men.
00:07:23.760 I think it's easier for them to be open to the idea of like going out without any expectations
00:07:32.620 of it leading to a relationship.
00:07:34.300 And I think for, you know, from my personal experience as a woman, like it's, it always
00:07:42.320 comes across my mind that like, if I don't see this person like fitting into like a big
00:07:48.100 part of my life, which would be a committed relationship, then it's not worth my time to
00:07:54.460 like keep pursuing someone like that, if that makes sense.
00:07:58.080 This is all just from my personal experience, but especially in the sort of like college
00:08:04.460 like arena, it's, it's a whole different, like, I guess, playing field when a lot of
00:08:13.740 people's mindsets is focused on hookup culture rather than dating, which is fine.
00:08:21.260 It's obviously something that you need to experience if you're open to it and can mentally handle
00:08:27.840 it.
00:08:28.840 But I think I've taken the biggest mental toll in dating rather than any of the guys
00:08:34.820 that I've dated.
00:08:36.200 Interesting.
00:08:36.840 Yeah.
00:08:37.060 I do agree with you that it's certainly different based on your sexual orientation.
00:08:43.020 Like I would probably say, well, and it also depends because I think when we say dating,
00:08:48.360 it's how do we break that down?
00:08:50.040 Are we talking just casual dating, serious dating?
00:08:52.740 I think we can probably say, I would say gay men as far as hooking up.
00:08:59.060 That shit's easy.
00:09:00.360 I don't have firsthand experience, but I've heard, I've heard, I've heard some stories.
00:09:06.620 They get on the app.
00:09:07.760 Do you want to hook up?
00:09:09.140 Yes.
00:09:10.180 Very straightforward.
00:09:11.480 That's what I've heard.
00:09:12.720 If there's any gay men in the chat, feel free to, maybe we could rank it.
00:09:17.160 So maybe for lesbian women, maybe that shit's, I don't know how that gets navigated.
00:09:24.620 Those relationships are very like, um, like let's move in together.
00:09:31.460 It's very.
00:09:31.980 You have some experience or are you bi or?
00:09:34.240 Well, I just like know, know like people and they're, you know, they're like, I'm the
00:09:39.580 stereotypical lesbian.
00:09:41.080 You know, I've like, I've always dating people.
00:09:43.380 Like I always end up like living with them very quickly.
00:09:46.460 But of course I don't know anything firsthand, so I can't really say much more.
00:09:51.680 Okay.
00:09:52.360 Got it.
00:09:53.060 We'll, we'll come back.
00:09:54.120 Okay.
00:09:54.340 We'll come back to that.
00:09:55.120 But, and what do you think?
00:09:56.720 Um, I kind of agree with Samantha a lot.
00:09:59.160 It kind of depends on like what your expectation is and what your standards are, I guess, in
00:10:04.780 a relationship.
00:10:06.040 I know I hear all the time from my friends that I'm like super picky.
00:10:11.800 And for me, dating is freaking hard.
00:10:14.680 So hard.
00:10:15.800 But I think that's like also my choice.
00:10:18.820 It's like, I'm choosing to not go for some of these men because my expectations are not
00:10:26.540 up to like what they are giving me, you know?
00:10:29.160 Um, what are your expectations?
00:10:32.440 Um, I guess I just want to be like treated really well.
00:10:35.520 And like what you brought up about hookup culture, like that, especially like dating in college.
00:10:40.920 I think dating is easier for men because girls are, I feel like more open to relationships
00:10:49.480 in college.
00:10:50.440 Whereas guys, I mean, yeah, guys are more about like during college who they, like their
00:10:57.880 body count and like how many girls they want to get with and things like that.
00:11:01.960 Okay.
00:11:02.800 So you, so you think it's, you agree with Samantha.
00:11:05.800 You think that it's about the same level of difficulty.
00:11:10.080 Yeah.
00:11:10.280 I think it depends on who you are.
00:11:11.800 But you said you've faced quite a bit of difficulty with dating.
00:11:16.160 And you, and is that because you said it's, you're, you're very picky and what, and can
00:11:23.020 you go into that a bit?
00:11:23.860 Like in what ways are you picky?
00:11:25.300 I think some of it has to do with like me, myself and like my emotional capacity.
00:11:31.340 I don't know if I have reached the point where I can be really like open and vulnerable and
00:11:37.580 super intimate with another person, especially that being a man.
00:11:42.400 But I feel like guys, a lot of times can kind of like fit into work, like being in a relationship
00:11:53.220 with their partner because they're kind of like, not as, I haven't met that many guys
00:11:59.840 with like certain expectations.
00:12:01.300 You know what I mean?
00:12:01.880 Like certain standards that they're like, if they're not this, no.
00:12:05.380 Like, you know what I mean?
00:12:06.660 I feel like they kind of.
00:12:07.660 So most guys have no standards is what you're saying.
00:12:10.580 I don't, I don't disagree with you.
00:12:12.400 I don't disagree with that.
00:12:14.200 Yeah.
00:12:15.220 And so, but you do have standards.
00:12:18.060 Yeah.
00:12:18.560 And like, I think I'm to an extreme.
00:12:21.000 Wait, you have them to an extreme.
00:12:22.400 Yeah.
00:12:22.920 Like, I just feel like.
00:12:23.840 What are your, let's hear it.
00:12:25.060 What are the extreme?
00:12:26.760 Like I saw in your last episode, you asked about bad boys.
00:12:30.320 Okay.
00:12:30.880 And I feel like I want like a really nice guy, but like it can't just be like a boring,
00:12:38.620 nice guy, you know?
00:12:39.660 Which it's like asking too much.
00:12:41.420 I understand.
00:12:42.180 That's a tough one.
00:12:44.060 Yeah.
00:12:44.520 But I also don't want a guy that's like, I know my worth and like, I don't want to be
00:12:49.160 treated like shit, you know?
00:12:50.780 Okay.
00:12:51.180 And where I am especially too, like in college, I feel like boys haven't reached that maturity
00:12:58.560 yet.
00:13:00.140 Interesting.
00:13:01.060 Okay.
00:13:01.600 And that's like their time to live.
00:13:04.340 So they're like, fuck it.
00:13:06.160 Like we're in college.
00:13:08.120 And then they take things seriously.
00:13:09.920 Once the more they're like out of college.
00:13:11.540 So you think that when men are younger, they're kind of commitment averse, whereas when maybe
00:13:18.960 they get out of college, they get a bit older, then they're more open to a relationship.
00:13:25.140 Like getting tied down.
00:13:25.940 But do you think, so you said you were picky.
00:13:28.160 So do you think that there's a guy that was interested in you that would have been ready
00:13:35.540 to be in a relationship with you right then and there, but he didn't meet your standards?
00:13:41.620 Um, I feel like maybe we didn't get too far to where like I wanted to commit, but like
00:13:52.380 in that case, in that case, I just wanted to maybe like take things slower and like he
00:13:59.380 didn't, I don't think wanted that.
00:14:01.100 So in my point of view, like if you don't want that, then I'm not going to give you
00:14:04.500 my time, you know?
00:14:06.100 Got it.
00:14:06.900 Yeah.
00:14:07.380 Okay.
00:14:08.420 Can we hear some more of the standards?
00:14:11.760 Um, definitely like a nice guy that has like good morals and values and things like
00:14:18.260 that.
00:14:18.840 You want a nice guy, but you said not boring.
00:14:22.080 Yeah, exactly.
00:14:23.400 Okay.
00:14:23.640 So nice, but not too nice and not boring.
00:14:27.300 Okay.
00:14:28.040 So like they could be like adventurous, but they don't have to play.
00:14:31.100 These stupid games with you, you know?
00:14:32.860 And when you say boring, do you mean like they have hobbies or do you mean like they're
00:14:38.580 exciting personalities in a relationship way?
00:14:41.880 I guess it can't just be like, let me take you out.
00:14:45.780 And then it just be like all good.
00:14:48.440 I guess like there has to be some sort of like ups and downs.
00:14:51.040 There has to be some drama.
00:14:52.500 Okay.
00:14:53.200 All right.
00:14:53.780 We're, we're getting there.
00:14:55.620 Okay.
00:14:56.580 Interesting.
00:14:57.700 Interesting.
00:14:58.560 Um, huh.
00:15:00.180 And do you think that, uh, I feel like nice guys aren't capable of eliciting that though,
00:15:08.020 that you want to come in, by the way, if one of you wants to come in on something, you feel
00:15:13.320 free, just treat it like a conversation.
00:15:14.860 Um, so I, I feel like what you're actually wanting is when someone is a genuine, like genuinely
00:15:22.440 nice guy versus like when they're creating obligations inside of their system.
00:15:27.200 So you're, you're like a spiritual being.
00:15:29.560 So you're going to feel that, you know?
00:15:31.220 So if they're not being genuine, like, and they're just being like a robotic nice, like
00:15:36.520 that's not actually going to like lay you up, you know?
00:15:39.020 Exactly.
00:15:39.660 But if they're, if they're like genuinely like into you and like, I think that is going
00:15:44.720 to like just turn you on, you know?
00:15:46.360 Yeah.
00:15:46.660 I think I recently found out I was a Leo Venus.
00:15:55.080 And that might be it.
00:15:56.480 Okay, so, um, all right, just, just curiosity.
00:16:05.780 Show of hands who believes in astrology here.
00:16:09.480 I take what I want.
00:16:11.020 Yeah.
00:16:11.300 Take what resonates.
00:16:13.260 Okay.
00:16:13.860 My mom taught me all about it when I was growing up.
00:16:16.120 So it's like, just a thing.
00:16:18.900 So is there like a guy who, if he's a Taurus, no, I will not date a Taurus.
00:16:26.920 No, it's not like that.
00:16:28.180 No.
00:16:28.600 Okay.
00:16:28.920 Yes, it is.
00:16:29.500 Oh, it is.
00:16:30.100 Oh, it is.
00:16:30.640 She'll, okay.
00:16:31.420 I will never date a Taurus.
00:16:33.780 You'd never date a Taurus.
00:16:34.860 She's coming from a Taurus.
00:16:36.580 So you're a Taurus.
00:16:37.660 Okay.
00:16:38.840 I'm a Taurus.
00:16:39.960 Yeah.
00:16:41.500 I'm hurt.
00:16:42.160 I'm hurt.
00:16:44.820 Okay.
00:16:45.180 So are there other signs that are off limits for dating?
00:16:50.220 Leos, they cheat.
00:16:51.500 Leos are cheaters.
00:16:52.820 Yes.
00:16:53.120 I feel like Aquarius men are just kind of known for the toxicity.
00:16:58.220 I'm not saying from personal experience.
00:17:03.400 Oh my gosh.
00:17:05.440 I'm not talking from personal experience, but that's just what I'm going to tell you.
00:17:09.020 Can I, can I talk about your Venus and Leo?
00:17:11.660 Oh, sure.
00:17:15.180 Oh, like, oh, I'm curious.
00:17:20.240 I want, I want to hear it, but no, go ahead.
00:17:22.880 Let's hear it.
00:17:23.320 Let's hear it.
00:17:24.240 Let's hear it.
00:17:25.180 So in your astrology, there's two signs.
00:17:27.860 There's your Venus and your Mars.
00:17:30.020 And the Venus is your feminine way of loving.
00:17:32.780 And your Mars is your masculine way of loving.
00:17:35.020 And for, and for her, and for her, if Venus is like in her, in Leo, then she needs someone
00:17:44.280 that's going to like honor her, maybe like take her out to really fancy restaurants.
00:17:48.460 Like she needs to feel like really pampered, you know, like, because it's important for
00:17:54.420 like for her to be seen in a specific way.
00:17:57.860 And that's actually going to like light, light, light you up basically.
00:18:01.960 Yeah.
00:18:02.500 I think that's what it is.
00:18:05.440 Yes.
00:18:07.520 Okay.
00:18:08.440 So, so, okay.
00:18:11.300 Just really quick again.
00:18:13.120 So I think the consensus, well, there's not a consensus yet.
00:18:17.360 So you think men have a bit harder.
00:18:19.540 Did you say you think men have it a bit harder?
00:18:21.460 I know you two thought it was about, about even, about equal.
00:18:26.600 I think it, it, there's no, I don't think there's a solid answer.
00:18:31.320 No solid answer.
00:18:32.020 That I could lean towards.
00:18:32.600 Certainly like there could be a guy who's, has no issues and a woman who's struggling
00:18:39.160 significantly.
00:18:39.980 So there's certainly outliers.
00:18:41.700 I think broadly speaking, generally speaking, do you think, what, are you leaning in a certain
00:18:47.020 direction?
00:18:47.460 Man, most men versus most women, let's say.
00:18:52.240 I, I have no answer for that.
00:18:54.820 Yeah.
00:18:55.080 Okay.
00:18:55.320 I just say, you know, per person, it's different.
00:18:58.760 Got it.
00:18:59.260 Yeah.
00:18:59.580 Okay.
00:19:00.460 So I guess, let me add a question to this that, and, and this is a big component of dating.
00:19:09.760 Who do you think has an easier time getting laid?
00:19:14.300 Men or women?
00:19:15.700 Women.
00:19:16.060 Women.
00:19:16.400 Women, for sure.
00:19:18.740 Samantha?
00:19:19.500 I think probably women.
00:19:21.580 Brooke?
00:19:23.420 I don't know.
00:19:25.320 I think, um, men, to be honest.
00:19:31.380 Well.
00:19:33.700 Men.
00:19:34.380 Men.
00:19:35.280 It's okay if you, it's okay to disagree with the rest of the panel.
00:19:37.960 Like, when you say easier time getting laid, like, do you mean, like, they seek it out
00:19:45.840 more, or it's like people are saying yes to them more?
00:19:50.540 Like, I, I would, it's basically just the act of being able to have, get sex, to have
00:19:59.980 sex.
00:20:00.380 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
00:20:01.580 Um, yeah.
00:20:02.920 Uh, I think men.
00:20:04.660 Okay, you think men.
00:20:06.080 Okay.
00:20:07.020 And.
00:20:07.380 I think they're more concerned about seeking it out.
00:20:09.840 I would agree with that.
00:20:12.020 I'd say they're more concerned with it, but if, if a woman was as inclined to get sex as
00:20:20.280 a man was, do you think she'd have an easier time?
00:20:22.940 Like, let's say you're in a new city.
00:20:24.920 You don't know anybody.
00:20:26.280 You have a dating app, though.
00:20:27.760 Let's just say.
00:20:29.340 You get on the dating app, who, who's gonna be able to fuck that night?
00:20:34.860 The guy or the girl?
00:20:39.000 Not to say a guy couldn't do that, but who is more likely gonna be able to, like, you
00:20:43.780 know.
00:20:44.320 I think the guy, I just think the mindset is way more, like, driven to actually get sex,
00:20:49.460 whereas, like, I'd just be like, I don't know.
00:20:52.360 Like, I guess if it's not happening, it's not happening.
00:20:54.920 Okay.
00:20:56.900 Feel free to chime in.
00:20:58.440 It's like that saying that's, like, girls choose who they sleep with, and guys sleep
00:21:04.640 with who they can get.
00:21:06.200 Yeah.
00:21:06.640 I think it goes.
00:21:07.880 Or something.
00:21:08.320 Women.
00:21:10.120 I know what you're getting at.
00:21:11.420 So, women sleep with who they want.
00:21:14.680 Men sleep with who they can.
00:21:16.460 Can.
00:21:16.880 Yeah.
00:21:17.300 I think that's how it goes.
00:21:18.700 Yes.
00:21:19.740 Well said.
00:21:20.800 I mean, I thought about this, and I don't know.
00:21:23.060 I heard this thing one time.
00:21:24.120 And basically, like, say you're on the street, right?
00:21:26.220 You don't know anyone here.
00:21:27.280 You're brand new.
00:21:28.380 You're a guy.
00:21:29.200 You go up to a girl.
00:21:30.020 You say, hey, you want to fuck?
00:21:31.700 This girl is definitely going to think you're totally weird.
00:21:34.720 Weird.
00:21:35.520 She's going to look at you, like, get the hell away from me.
00:21:38.580 Right?
00:21:38.840 And if a girl goes up to a guy nine out of ten times, he's going to say, yeah, come home
00:21:44.120 with me.
00:21:46.680 Facts.
00:21:47.220 Facts.
00:21:48.300 Facts.
00:21:48.880 We did.
00:21:49.840 So, we actually, a long time ago, I did this video as a social experiment where I had a girl
00:21:55.420 go up to a hundred guys, ask if they wanted to have sex, point blank, and, like, I think,
00:22:02.660 keep in mind, it was here in Nila Vista.
00:22:04.420 Oh.
00:22:05.340 It was just middle of the day, too.
00:22:07.360 Not, like, at night at a party.
00:22:09.620 People are walking home from class.
00:22:11.700 No.
00:22:12.100 And, like, 50% of the dudes were like, yes, let's do it.
00:22:17.820 Andrea, by the way.
00:22:18.980 And then, I did that shit.
00:22:21.820 I did a hundred, I asked a hundred women.
00:22:24.640 You were like.
00:22:25.360 I got, like, one maybe.
00:22:27.560 Wow.
00:22:27.940 I got a maybe.
00:22:29.140 One out of a hundred.
00:22:31.220 That's brilliant.
00:22:32.000 So, I would say, I think guys, guys struggle.
00:22:35.700 Guys struggle.
00:22:36.340 There's maybe, like, the top tier of guys, they can, they can, you know.
00:22:43.740 Go up to anyone and never do it.
00:22:45.240 Yeah, I mean, even then, honestly, I think even, like, a really, really attractive guy
00:22:49.400 would struggle more than an average girl just going up to someone in the street and just
00:22:55.560 being like, hey, do you want to, do you want to fuck?
00:22:57.140 Do you want to hook up?
00:22:57.620 I agree.
00:22:58.320 So, okay, we got a pretty based panel here.
00:23:01.940 Um, so, next question, and kind of, well, kind of staying on this theme, uh, so, as far
00:23:17.120 as dating goes, how many men would you say you've turned down slash rejected?
00:23:23.920 In my life?
00:23:25.260 Just in your life.
00:23:28.000 Uh, probably, like, 300.
00:23:30.680 300.
00:23:31.120 300, you've turned down.
00:23:32.640 At least.
00:23:33.520 Okay.
00:23:33.780 I mean, starting from when I was five years old, quite honestly.
00:23:37.600 All right.
00:23:38.620 Okay.
00:23:39.560 More than that.
00:23:44.840 Samantha?
00:23:45.820 I, I don't know.
00:23:47.340 I honestly can't even, I have no idea.
00:23:54.240 Yeah, I don't, I don't think I have a number.
00:23:56.300 I think ghosting versus turning down, like, I, if it's on a dating app, I would stick to
00:24:02.180 ghosting, um, turning down people in person.
00:24:06.220 I don't have a number to, that's my final answer.
00:24:08.960 Sure.
00:24:09.280 Sure.
00:24:09.400 Um, I don't have a number, but I know it's, like, tremendously bigger than the ones I've
00:24:15.880 gone on dates with.
00:24:17.720 Bigger than the ones, the ones I've gone on dates with.
00:24:20.080 Yeah.
00:24:20.560 Like, yeah.
00:24:20.620 Okay.
00:24:21.420 Got it.
00:24:22.060 Because I, you know, I, my sense is, is that most women have plenty of experiencing, have
00:24:29.320 plenty of experience rejecting men, but most men, they don't really reject women, for the
00:24:37.320 most part.
00:24:40.760 Thoughts?
00:24:41.500 Most men?
00:24:42.340 We said most men.
00:24:42.820 Most, most men have no or little experience, like, rejecting women.
00:24:46.780 I'd say, I guess I could frame this in a different way.
00:24:49.260 Um, and, I mean, when you think of rejection, it's also not just someone messaging you on
00:24:56.060 a dating app, but it's also, maybe you've been, you went on a date, you went on a couple
00:24:59.960 dates, maybe even you've had a longer term thing.
00:25:02.600 Right.
00:25:02.980 So, let me frame it like this.
00:25:05.420 Of the times where you've, maybe you went on a date with the guy, couple dates, of the
00:25:13.620 times where one of the people, either you or him, had to say, hey, it was nice meeting
00:25:17.980 you, but I don't want to see you anymore, and that can range all the way from a first
00:25:21.580 date to a long-term relationship where you're ending the relationship.
00:25:25.800 More often than not, are you ending things, or is the guy ending things?
00:25:30.080 Let's start with you, Diana.
00:25:32.140 Deanna.
00:25:34.100 Deanna.
00:25:34.700 Yes.
00:25:35.560 My apologies.
00:25:36.460 No, you're good.
00:25:37.040 English is my second language.
00:25:38.480 Honestly, in that situation, as much as I'd hate to admit it, most of it is, like, ghosted.
00:25:49.580 Ghosting.
00:25:50.140 Mm-hmm.
00:25:51.140 You ghosting or the guy ghosting?
00:25:53.880 I think, I think the guy could, like, start kind of, like, slipping away or, like, less interested,
00:26:01.500 but I'm always the one to, like, really cut the end.
00:26:07.660 You cut it off.
00:26:09.940 You cut it off.
00:26:10.980 Okay.
00:26:11.880 Got it.
00:26:13.260 Mm-hmm.
00:26:14.560 I feel like I have been ghosted more than I've ever ghosted other people.
00:26:22.020 I mean, I think I see too much good in people or, like, give people too much of the benefit
00:26:30.280 of the doubt, but, yeah, I think I've been, like, not turned down and not even, like, hey,
00:26:37.740 I don't want to see you anymore, just, like, straight up ghosted before, or, like, it's
00:26:42.200 happened where it's, like, hey, like, I liked hanging out with you, but, like, now I'm in
00:26:46.380 a committed relationship with someone else, so that's, eh, it's whatever.
00:26:52.020 But I think that's, yeah, I, I get the shit, like, most of the time.
00:27:00.440 Samantha?
00:27:01.940 I think I've probably experienced both sides.
00:27:06.020 I've definitely been, I think I've definitely been ghosted, and I've also just clearly been,
00:27:11.240 like, hey, I'm just not into this.
00:27:15.040 Probably about the same amount for me, I would say.
00:27:19.740 I mean, are we counting those random Instagram guy DMs that hit you up and, like, hey, mommy,
00:27:26.800 let me take you out to dinner?
00:27:28.840 Because I just ghost those.
00:27:30.280 There's probably, like, a thousand of those, you know what I mean?
00:27:33.320 Yeah.
00:27:33.500 But growing up, I think that I was really into hookup culture for a while, and I didn't
00:27:39.980 know what a relationship was like because that wasn't modeled for me in my life, and I
00:27:45.680 definitely would try to take things to the next step with someone without even knowing
00:27:49.280 what I wanted for myself.
00:27:51.300 So I think that that pushed a lot of guys away as I was growing up.
00:27:55.200 So I feel like a lot of guys ghosted me more than them because I wanted something more,
00:28:00.160 and clearly the vibe that I gave off was just that I wanted to hook up to them, but that's
00:28:04.780 not what I really wanted.
00:28:06.900 Got it.
00:28:07.680 And so you said growing up, though, you participated in the hookup culture.
00:28:13.560 Yeah.
00:28:13.940 What do you mean by that?
00:28:15.140 What do you mean?
00:28:15.980 Okay.
00:28:16.280 So basically what I mean by that is where I was from, I feel like it was just a very
00:28:23.000 common thing.
00:28:24.620 I grew up in the Bay Area, and I feel like it was just a very common thing for no one
00:28:28.900 to be in a relationship.
00:28:30.460 And for hookup culture, if I'm being point blank serious, it's, hey, hits you up after
00:28:35.240 one in the morning.
00:28:36.280 You want to sneak out.
00:28:37.480 You want to hang out in our car.
00:28:38.620 You want to come over to my house, not let anyone know what we're doing, never speak
00:28:41.820 about it.
00:28:42.200 We don't even acknowledge each other outside of this world.
00:28:44.800 I feel like that's exactly what it was.
00:28:47.540 And that's what hookup culture was.
00:28:50.720 Got it.
00:28:51.680 Okay.
00:28:52.440 Good times.
00:28:53.400 Yeah, fun.
00:28:54.120 Good times.
00:28:54.560 We're getting deep.
00:28:55.760 And now you have a boyfriend that you've been seeing for eight months now.
00:29:01.040 But yeah, we met in junior year of high school, so we've been friends for a long time.
00:29:07.480 And I wouldn't do it any other way, honestly, with anybody else, because now I have a new set
00:29:12.300 of standards again.
00:29:14.800 A new set of standards.
00:29:16.080 Yeah, like having a real relationship with someone that's not intimate before, like having
00:29:21.420 a real friendship with someone is very important before starting a relationship, I feel like,
00:29:25.920 because after that relationship ends, what are you guys?
00:29:29.380 And where do you go from there?
00:29:31.780 Or if it doesn't end, you know, I'd rather that person be my best friend in the first
00:29:36.240 place.
00:29:37.100 Got it.
00:29:37.900 And who, so you guys were friends beforehand, though.
00:29:41.340 Yeah.
00:29:41.820 So y'all were friends, but who made the first overture?
00:29:47.940 I did a long time ago, but like...
00:29:51.840 And you got friend zoned then?
00:29:53.820 Yes.
00:29:54.920 He friend zoned you?
00:29:55.860 Yes.
00:29:56.140 Oh, wow.
00:29:56.860 Yeah.
00:29:57.420 In 2020, during quarantine, I literally point blank asked this man out, but his answer
00:30:03.640 was so genuine.
00:30:05.140 It was basically just like, hey, I'm living under my parents' roof right now.
00:30:09.100 I can't provide you with the stability that I know you need.
00:30:12.480 I'm not my own person yet.
00:30:14.060 Let's see where life takes us in a year or so, and we'll take it up from there.
00:30:19.940 And I got real mad, and I ghosted him.
00:30:25.640 We love that, though.
00:30:27.080 Yeah.
00:30:27.700 So you were upset that you got friend zoned.
00:30:30.000 Oh, yeah.
00:30:30.820 You go, you're like, this friendship's over, we're done.
00:30:35.100 It's like I'm never talking to this guy ever again.
00:30:37.520 Wow.
00:30:38.200 Okay.
00:30:38.740 Yeah.
00:30:39.540 Interesting.
00:30:40.380 Yeah.
00:30:40.640 Things changed.
00:30:41.580 We came down here, and I got really sick when I was down here for the first month or
00:30:47.580 so I was down here.
00:30:48.760 Nobody knew I was here because I was just in my bed.
00:30:50.660 I was so sick.
00:30:51.660 He hits me up out of nowhere, and he goes, hey, are you in Santa Barbara?
00:30:55.660 And I was like, yeah, but I'm really sick.
00:30:57.860 None of my friends want to see me.
00:30:59.200 You can't come over.
00:31:00.460 He came over for a week straight and took care of me.
00:31:03.900 Wow.
00:31:04.780 Yeah.
00:31:05.320 That's nice.
00:31:06.080 Yeah.
00:31:06.300 No, that's really sweet.
00:31:07.220 Yeah.
00:31:07.620 Even after, I still had him blocked on Instagram.
00:31:09.540 Oh.
00:31:11.580 Oh, shit.
00:31:12.860 Yeah.
00:31:13.360 He realized, and he was like, why can't I find your Instagram?
00:31:16.300 And I was like, oh, I might have blocked you a couple months ago.
00:31:21.580 Wow.
00:31:22.460 Okay.
00:31:23.380 Yeah.
00:31:23.700 Interesting.
00:31:24.400 Definitely plays in the worst.
00:31:25.500 It's a great story.
00:31:26.780 So we're going back to the sex question.
00:31:31.000 Is it easier for men or women to get sex?
00:31:35.400 And I think almost everyone here said, eh, it's easier for women, besides you.
00:31:42.140 Yeah.
00:31:42.460 I was just thinking about, like, the effort aspect of, like, how much one or the other wants
00:31:49.060 it.
00:31:49.360 I think men want it more.
00:31:52.620 More desperate.
00:31:54.500 Got it.
00:31:56.000 So my goal is to convince you.
00:31:58.020 Okay.
00:31:59.240 But hey, I might not change your mind.
00:32:01.600 So, what is the longest you've ever made a guy wait for sex?
00:32:11.940 Probably, like, two months.
00:32:15.740 Two months.
00:32:16.700 Okay.
00:32:17.160 But did he want, he wanted it, but you wanted to wait?
00:32:20.720 He never brought it up.
00:32:22.000 I actually asked him, like, would you, the next time we go out, would you want to?
00:32:27.140 You propositioned him.
00:32:28.900 Mm-hmm.
00:32:29.500 And y'all been, you were dating for two months?
00:32:31.640 We were seeing each other for two months.
00:32:33.500 Nothing was, like, official, set in stone.
00:32:36.200 Nothing like that.
00:32:36.820 Was it, like, started off as a friendship, or was it pretty clear from the beginning, like,
00:32:40.280 you guys were romantically?
00:32:41.460 We were going on dates, but I wouldn't say we were dating or.
00:32:45.080 We weren't in anything official at the time.
00:32:47.080 Of course.
00:32:47.680 Yeah.
00:32:47.940 It was early on.
00:32:49.660 Mm-hmm.
00:32:50.020 Okay.
00:32:50.860 So, two, longest time is two months.
00:32:53.360 Mm-hmm.
00:32:53.900 Okay.
00:32:54.700 Has a guy, but it sounded like he just didn't make a move.
00:32:58.860 So it wasn't so much you were making him wait.
00:33:00.840 He just, if he had made a move sooner, would you have?
00:33:04.420 Um, probably.
00:33:06.120 It was also just, like, the circumstances of, like, where we were going to go, like, was
00:33:12.300 a little bit difficult to.
00:33:14.980 The backseat of his Mazda?
00:33:16.940 Yeah.
00:33:18.240 No good?
00:33:19.300 No.
00:33:19.640 No, but I actually was, I felt very, uh, respected that, you know, I was able to ask
00:33:26.260 first, because a lot of times I feel a little too pressured, or, like, yeah, to say yes.
00:33:31.980 Even, like, if, okay, I was thinking about it, but sometimes men are way too forward with
00:33:38.540 it.
00:33:39.040 Okay.
00:33:39.580 Men are too forward.
00:33:40.520 Got it.
00:33:40.880 And more often than not, are you, is, if a guy's making a move, he's like, hey, I want
00:33:48.580 to hook up.
00:33:49.100 I mean, he's not saying that, but, like, that's sort of the gist of what he's going for, be
00:33:53.540 it on the first, second, or third date.
00:33:55.020 Mm-hmm.
00:33:55.660 Are you more so the one who's like, let's maybe wait a bit, or where do you fall there?
00:34:03.500 Mm-hmm.
00:34:03.920 I think looking at my past dating life, I would have said yes.
00:34:08.520 Because, I think now, if I were ever to enter the dating pool again, it would be a lot different.
00:34:15.440 Okay.
00:34:15.680 Um, I would probably wait at least, like, they said, like, three dates, or some dumb shit
00:34:21.600 like that.
00:34:22.320 That's a good number.
00:34:22.540 That's a good number.
00:34:23.340 It would definitely be more of, like, up to me, like, actually sitting down and thinking
00:34:29.740 about it, than just being like, okay, yeah, I think I've passed that phase.
00:34:35.780 Okay.
00:34:36.320 Yeah.
00:34:36.880 Got it.
00:34:37.320 Big D.
00:34:38.980 Can I call you Big D?
00:34:39.980 Of course.
00:34:40.600 Okay.
00:34:41.000 People call me that.
00:34:42.140 They call you Big D.
00:34:43.740 Sometimes.
00:34:44.240 Okay.
00:34:44.700 Got it.
00:34:45.840 Um, sorry, what was the question again?
00:34:48.940 Oh, um, what is, and this might be a tough question.
00:34:52.300 Oh, I remember.
00:34:52.680 What is the longest a man, or, no.
00:34:55.100 Longest time you've made a man wait for sex?
00:34:57.980 And I suppose maybe we should exclude, like, the first time, you know?
00:35:03.540 I mean, I mean, maybe the first time was first, like.
00:35:07.900 Oh, well, then I can't tell my story.
00:35:11.320 Well, how about, we'll, we'll do both.
00:35:14.820 Oh, so first time, like, the very first time, how long did you make the guy wait?
00:35:19.780 Or how long did y'all wait together, I should say?
00:35:22.780 And just afterwards, what's the longest you've made a guy wait for sex?
00:35:27.440 Honestly, to be completely honest with you, that hasn't been all that successful yet.
00:35:33.200 So, like, when I first started, like, in the beginning, like, when I was first, like, having sex, like, I didn't really care, you know?
00:35:40.540 And I was, like, having one night stands and things like that.
00:35:43.740 And then, about, like, a year ago, till, like, now, I've definitely been, like, holding back.
00:35:49.700 Like, like, I would rather be taken out on dates and, like, see if this guy is actually interested in me to, like, give him the pleasure of having sex with me, you know?
00:36:01.520 And so.
00:36:02.700 He gets the pleasure of having sex with you.
00:36:06.040 But what about you getting the pleasure of having sex with him?
00:36:09.820 I have not had sex with a guy and finished.
00:36:14.160 So, for me, there is not much winning for me, you know?
00:36:19.040 Question.
00:36:20.060 Yeah.
00:36:21.000 Can you bring yourself to completion?
00:36:23.520 Yes.
00:36:24.800 Okay.
00:36:25.740 So, like, I know I can.
00:36:27.180 So, you can't.
00:36:27.820 It's not that you're just.
00:36:29.240 Yeah.
00:36:29.460 The guys are just.
00:36:30.680 They're fucking up.
00:36:31.800 Yeah.
00:36:32.120 They're messing up.
00:36:33.220 If any of your.
00:36:34.340 Any of the guys are watching.
00:36:35.780 Y'all fucked up.
00:36:38.140 Can I flip them off?
00:36:39.640 What's that?
00:36:40.240 Can I flip them off?
00:36:41.600 Oh, yeah.
00:36:42.420 Yeah.
00:36:46.200 And.
00:36:47.040 Okay.
00:36:47.760 So.
00:36:48.080 So, since, like, a year or so now, I'd rather be, like, taken on dates and, like, get to
00:36:55.160 know the person and see if they're, like, as narcissistic as this sounds, deserving of it.
00:37:01.380 Okay.
00:37:02.420 Oh.
00:37:02.940 That's right.
00:37:03.600 So.
00:37:03.880 If they can't make you come, they might as well get you dinner.
00:37:06.940 Basically.
00:37:07.840 Like, I might as well get something out of it.
00:37:09.960 You might as well.
00:37:11.160 Yeah.
00:37:11.420 You might as well.
00:37:11.940 Wait, so, never with a guy.
00:37:15.140 You've never climaxed.
00:37:18.940 Um, no.
00:37:19.820 Well, okay.
00:37:20.380 Like, maybe climax, but not, like, the finishing, you know?
00:37:24.060 It's like, you might get there, but it's not, like.
00:37:27.800 Fulfilling.
00:37:28.640 Yeah.
00:37:29.240 Yeah.
00:37:29.780 You know?
00:37:30.020 It's not, like, it's not finished.
00:37:33.600 Got it.
00:37:34.120 That's the word.
00:37:34.540 It didn't go.
00:37:35.060 Yes.
00:37:35.660 Okay.
00:37:36.840 But, I mean, you could, I suppose you could still have good sex, even if you don't come
00:37:42.500 Yeah, like, it could still feel good, but.
00:37:44.480 But you just aren't, but you do still.
00:37:45.980 Like, I know how I do it, so it's, like, I'm not getting the.
00:37:49.960 You know, what do you mean, you know how you do it?
00:37:52.020 Like, I, like, finish.
00:37:53.660 Oh, okay.
00:37:54.320 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:37:54.440 So, like, I know, like, it just, I feel that I don't feel as good.
00:38:03.900 Right.
00:38:04.540 Yeah.
00:38:04.840 Okay.
00:38:05.260 So.
00:38:07.100 Got it.
00:38:08.220 Huh.
00:38:09.200 Yeah.
00:38:09.440 I'm sorry.
00:38:10.140 And it's, like, that's, like, kind of, like, a hit or miss, you know?
00:38:12.840 Like, you don't know if you're going to meet a guy and he's going to, like, make you come,
00:38:16.540 you know?
00:38:17.540 Have you tried showing them?
00:38:21.920 Like, or do you want that to just, you want the guy to just get it?
00:38:26.280 You don't want to have to, like, teach them?
00:38:27.980 No, no, that's not it.
00:38:28.220 Because, like, they don't have to, like, obviously, they won't know, like, your body the way you do.
00:38:32.660 Right.
00:38:32.920 Right.
00:38:32.960 But it's, like, first, like, the step of, like, meeting them and, like, being taken on dates and getting to know them and see if this is someone you do want to have a sexual relationship with.
00:38:46.380 And, like, like, a lot of times how she said guys put that pressure on you sometimes, some men.
00:38:54.300 And most of the times, like, the first or second date, like, they'll make a move, you know?
00:38:59.160 And I'll probably be, like, no, like, I would rather take things slowly and things like that.
00:39:05.420 And I feel like just the response from that has never been, like, all that great.
00:39:10.220 So, it's, for me, I'm, like, still on that journey to find the guy that is willing to wait.
00:39:16.840 Okay.
00:39:17.480 Interesting.
00:39:18.340 So, but the guy has never, never made you come.
00:39:23.540 Is it cool if we go into that a little bit?
00:39:25.460 Yeah, sure.
00:39:26.060 So, I also, like, if you want to go into, like, the body count and stuff and, like, I don't, like, my body count isn't high.
00:39:35.280 So, like, it's, like, the amount of people I've had sex with isn't a lot, but it's, like, also, like, none of them have, you know?
00:39:44.720 Okay.
00:39:45.120 So, it's, your body count is low.
00:39:47.320 But didn't earlier you were saying how you were hooking up with a bunch of dudes or?
00:39:53.000 I was saying that I didn't care to make them wait in the beginning.
00:39:57.080 In the beginning.
00:39:57.900 Can I ask what, what's your body count?
00:40:01.080 I would not like to share.
00:40:02.420 That's fine.
00:40:03.080 That's totally fine.
00:40:04.500 Wait, so has, like, the guy, they go down on you and you just, that doesn't work, fingers doesn't work, intercourse doesn't work.
00:40:13.640 Like, it feels good, but, like, doesn't mean you finish, you know?
00:40:17.460 Okay.
00:40:18.440 Yeah, and I think it's become more of a thing, like, when I first started hooking up,
00:40:22.060 I just wanted to experiment.
00:40:23.700 And then I realized, like, I'm not that hooking up type of person.
00:40:27.160 And, like, it's the hookup culture that kind of made me think, like, that's the way to get into a romantic relationship nowadays.
00:40:38.340 And I don't think I really vibe with that for myself.
00:40:43.580 I don't care for anyone else.
00:40:44.540 If you like it, go ahead.
00:40:45.660 Yeah, I mean, it's certainly the case that, I mean, if the experiences you have had, it wasn't anything super serious, that, I think that can play a factor, too.
00:40:56.780 I mean, if, sometimes it takes a girl a bit longer to get comfortable with the guy and then can make it a bit easier to climax.
00:41:05.860 So, Samantha, did you, I think you wanted to come in on something there, it seemed like.
00:41:10.320 Did I?
00:41:10.700 I mean, I have a lot to say about this, so, but I don't know.
00:41:13.800 Okay, well, so, but it sounds like, for you, you have so far not been impressed by the performance.
00:41:24.480 I'm not impressed by your performance.
00:41:26.680 Of the guys that you've been with.
00:41:28.620 Okay.
00:41:30.540 Samantha.
00:41:30.980 I don't, I don't know if this is the channel to share what I know.
00:41:36.020 No, you mean?
00:41:36.920 I mean.
00:41:37.520 Is it?
00:41:38.060 Yeah, go ahead.
00:41:38.740 Okay.
00:41:39.240 Well, so, I went to Greece over the summer and I did a Tantra workshop.
00:41:44.880 So, it was 11 days of, like, basically, it's, like, full body sexual massage.
00:41:50.120 So, I had 11 different gentlemen, like, massage my full body.
00:41:55.760 And, and.
00:41:57.140 Was it strictly a massage?
00:41:58.840 No, no, no, it's, like, a full, like, sexual massage.
00:42:02.340 Huh?
00:42:02.920 What does that mean?
00:42:03.900 That means, like, you're having a full day orgasm because you're.
00:42:09.980 Wait, it was hands only or was it?
00:42:15.380 No, no, hands only.
00:42:16.640 It was, they ran a train?
00:42:17.980 So, no happy endings?
00:42:19.400 There was no P in the V.
00:42:20.700 No train.
00:42:21.280 No P in the V.
00:42:22.480 No P in the V.
00:42:23.200 Okay.
00:42:23.540 No hard-ons, like, but it's, uh, but it's, like, a full body massage and you're opening
00:42:30.260 up what they call it, like, your marma points.
00:42:32.820 And, anyways, so, after those 11 days, then it's kind of, like, it was, like, best sex ever
00:42:40.160 worlds.
00:42:40.840 And it was just, like, I didn't, I think I didn't realize it was just that I had body
00:42:45.840 tensions that I wasn't aware of.
00:42:47.740 So, what you're telling, what you're telling Big D is she needs to go to Greece.
00:42:56.700 I've been, actually.
00:42:58.180 And be massaged by 11 men is what you're telling me.
00:43:02.020 Well, there were 20.
00:43:02.720 That's, that's your fix.
00:43:03.460 That's the magic number.
00:43:04.600 That is your fix.
00:43:06.800 Can it be 12 men?
00:43:08.260 Well, it was, there were 22 people in the workshop and then you exchanged with a different
00:43:12.580 person, and I was with my boyfriend at the time.
00:43:14.860 Oh, wow.
00:43:15.760 But you have a lot of, like, yeah, we were, like, we want to be open, you know, but we
00:43:21.300 broke up shortly after.
00:43:23.640 She'll be on one of the future shows, but, or his, his new fiance.
00:43:30.400 But, but anyways, so, I think sometimes you just, like, you don't know what types of,
00:43:39.520 like, tensions that you're holding in your, like, even, like, your physical, muscular body
00:43:44.440 or your emotional body, because during the process, a lot of women had, like, these huge
00:43:49.160 emotional, like, releases.
00:43:51.660 And, but then, like, my ex-boyfriend at the time, he had, like, a full day orgasm.
00:43:56.480 He's like, oh my God, I can't even make this stop.
00:43:58.580 Like, what do I do?
00:44:00.140 And I was like, anyways, so you're kind of, like, bliss, and you, you're eating, like,
00:44:06.200 healthy food the whole time.
00:44:07.440 You can't have alcohol.
00:44:08.420 You can't smoke, like, like, you can't be on anything.
00:44:11.460 You're just, like, on a body high.
00:44:13.880 Wow.
00:44:14.880 Cool.
00:44:15.620 Um, so, Coco, tell us, uh, I don't even know where we are.
00:44:19.900 The longest time you've made it, guys?
00:44:22.080 Made, yeah, longest time.
00:44:22.980 Yeah, you, you had a little piece you wanted to say about that.
00:44:25.240 Yeah, I made my first boyfriend wait three years.
00:44:28.360 Wow.
00:44:29.180 And now, and that was the first guy that you hooked up with.
00:44:32.280 Okay.
00:44:32.560 Three years.
00:44:33.500 Three years, and then he broke up with me a week after, so.
00:44:36.020 Three, three years, wait, hold on.
00:44:39.100 Whoa, hold on.
00:44:40.760 You made him wait three years, and then he broke up with you.
00:44:44.720 The week after we did.
00:44:45.640 The week after, are you capping?
00:44:47.300 No, I'm not.
00:44:48.180 He's a shitty fucking human.
00:44:50.840 Yo, hold on.
00:44:54.940 So, and you only had sex once or a couple times and then.
00:44:57.820 Nope, just once.
00:44:58.360 Just one time and he broke up with you.
00:44:59.620 Just one time.
00:45:04.200 Hold on.
00:45:04.720 So, hold on.
00:45:07.940 You're being honest, right?
00:45:09.020 I'm being honest.
00:45:10.180 You're, you're telling the truth.
00:45:11.520 I am telling the truth.
00:45:13.040 I, I am telling the truth.
00:45:15.200 Put me under.
00:45:16.120 You dated a guy for three years.
00:45:17.720 You lost your virginity to him.
00:45:19.220 You were in a relationship.
00:45:20.680 Everything was good up until the sex.
00:45:23.980 You had sex.
00:45:24.760 Was he a virgin too?
00:45:25.660 Mm-hmm.
00:45:26.960 And a week later, you had sex only one time, and he, he dumps you.
00:45:30.820 Mm-hmm.
00:45:31.120 How did he dump you?
00:45:31.960 Um, how did he dump me?
00:45:34.660 I think it was over text.
00:45:38.340 Um, and then I went to talk to him in person because, you know, that's not acceptable.
00:45:43.040 That's just not mature.
00:45:44.140 To text someone and break up with them, I don't think that's acceptable.
00:45:45.860 After three years, yeah, that's.
00:45:47.340 Yeah.
00:45:47.560 That's a bit.
00:45:48.300 So I went and talked to him, and he did not change his mind.
00:45:52.620 Um, we did not, we did not get back together.
00:45:56.320 I don't, I don't think we did.
00:45:57.520 It was a long time ago, but I really don't think we ever got back together.
00:46:01.160 Is this, is this, this is real?
00:46:02.340 This is real.
00:46:03.120 And I believe that shit too.
00:46:04.440 Are you, are you sure?
00:46:06.480 Yes.
00:46:08.000 Yes.
00:46:08.780 This is my real shitty life.
00:46:10.620 Fun.
00:46:15.680 Okay.
00:46:16.740 Um, so, and did he give you an explanation for that?
00:46:22.080 Um, not really, honestly.
00:46:24.960 I, he blamed it on his friend because we were pretty young, and there was this movie night
00:46:30.100 thing that happened at our school, and I fell asleep, and one of his friends put his arm
00:46:34.840 around me.
00:46:36.160 What?
00:46:36.720 And that was the reason.
00:46:38.260 Oh, that was.
00:46:39.680 That was the reason he gave me.
00:46:41.020 One of his friends.
00:46:42.120 Yeah, one of his friends.
00:46:43.140 That he's still friends with today.
00:46:44.500 That seems pretty platonic, just an arm.
00:46:46.660 Yeah.
00:46:47.140 I mean.
00:46:48.140 Literally.
00:46:49.080 And even if it.
00:46:50.060 And somebody told him about it, and he got pissed off.
00:46:54.060 And this was in high school?
00:46:55.340 Yo.
00:46:55.560 Of course this was in high school.
00:46:57.960 It makes a little sense.
00:47:00.680 God.
00:47:01.820 Damn, that's brutal.
00:47:02.980 Yeah, no, it's the truth.
00:47:04.220 Like, as much as I don't, like, as much as a shitty situation that is, that's the truth.
00:47:10.280 Wow.
00:47:10.960 Yeah.
00:47:11.500 That is.
00:47:13.700 And that's where the hookup culture stemmed from.
00:47:17.100 You went on a tear.
00:47:18.380 Oh, yeah.
00:47:18.800 We went on a rampage.
00:47:20.520 Mm-hmm.
00:47:21.400 Wow.
00:47:21.960 That's intense.
00:47:23.320 Yeah.
00:47:24.380 Damn.
00:47:24.720 And I don't even think he understands, like, what it did to me.
00:47:27.260 You know what I mean?
00:47:27.820 Like, still to this day.
00:47:29.600 Yeah.
00:47:29.920 Have you seen a therapist?
00:47:33.780 A couple, but I ghost them.
00:47:35.820 You ghost.
00:47:37.380 I ghost them.
00:47:37.960 You're perpetrating.
00:47:39.920 You're, yeah, that's, wow.
00:47:41.600 Goddamn.
00:47:42.920 That's pretty brutal.
00:47:44.400 That's pretty brutal.
00:47:46.680 Maybe that's a warning, though, to not make a guy wait, almost.
00:47:52.360 Because it's, like, if you're, if you're going to do that, you might as well, instead of getting
00:47:59.260 all emotionally invested in the, that's just fucked up.
00:48:02.160 I mean, that's, that's pretty fucked up.
00:48:04.200 Was, did you, like, bite him or something during the.
00:48:08.080 Did I bite him?
00:48:08.640 Did you bite him?
00:48:09.360 No.
00:48:09.520 You took a bite out of him.
00:48:10.320 No, I did not bite him.
00:48:12.360 I did not take a bite.
00:48:13.400 There was no biting.
00:48:14.260 There was no biting.
00:48:15.760 There was no nothing.
00:48:16.580 It was, it was as cliche as the first time gets, he asked how to put a condom on, you
00:48:22.220 know what I mean?
00:48:22.840 Like, yeah, it's just as cliche as it gets.
00:48:27.480 Wow.
00:48:28.160 That is brutal.
00:48:29.820 That's intense.
00:48:31.520 Chris, let's do some super chats.
00:48:34.080 We only got two, I think.
00:48:35.920 We got cheers.
00:48:37.360 Yes.
00:48:37.760 Lighten up the mood.
00:48:39.240 Lighten up the mood.
00:48:40.220 We have two super chats here.
00:48:41.920 We have a good old cheers from Twitch.
00:48:44.880 Ooh.
00:48:46.580 And DTSP, thank you for the cheers.
00:48:50.280 And then, let's, can you pull up the Twitch window?
00:48:56.380 Okay.
00:48:57.720 So, we got, he followed.
00:49:00.580 Thank you for the cheers.
00:49:02.540 Appreciate it.
00:49:03.580 Kalis Yuga, thank you for the follow.
00:49:05.440 By the way, guys, we are streaming this show live on Twitch.
00:49:08.580 If you have an Amazon Prime subscription, you can head on over to twitch.tv slash whatever.
00:49:13.740 Drop an Amazon Prime.
00:49:15.820 Supports the show.
00:49:17.820 Anyways, we can go back.
00:49:18.760 Let's, we got the $5 soup chat.
00:49:22.300 Yes, Mr. Jose N.D.
00:49:25.940 Jose N.D.
00:49:27.120 $5.
00:49:27.920 Second language.
00:49:28.780 All these years, I thought it was your first.
00:49:30.700 My favorite vid is the Asking Girls on, Asking Girls on Valentine's Day video, or I think
00:49:37.060 it was Asking Girls for, for Valentine's Day, something like that.
00:49:41.060 Yeah.
00:49:41.320 So, French, Jose French is my second language, but I moved to the U.S. when I was five.
00:49:45.260 So, it's kind of a meme that it's my second, English is my second language, but French
00:49:51.160 was my first.
00:49:51.940 Thank you, Jose, for the $5 soup chat.
00:49:54.620 Much appreciated.
00:49:55.820 By the way, guys, if you want to ask a question to the panel, send a soup chat.
00:50:00.920 Next question.
00:50:05.340 So, let's see.
00:50:10.700 Sorry, guys.
00:50:12.340 I'm pulling it up.
00:50:13.400 So, let's see.
00:50:20.480 So, the original question was, the longest time you've made a guy wait.
00:50:28.740 Did everybody answer that, I think?
00:50:30.540 Okay.
00:50:30.880 I didn't.
00:50:31.700 You didn't.
00:50:32.520 Okay.
00:50:32.720 I think in my younger years, maybe I didn't.
00:50:42.920 And then in college, I think, like, a year.
00:50:47.280 And, yeah, I don't, I mean, I don't know.
00:50:51.460 I guess I don't really remember.
00:50:53.300 Sorry, I didn't really have the answer, I guess.
00:50:55.540 Okay.
00:50:56.960 Got it.
00:50:58.200 So, who is more likely to lie about how long they've gone without sex, men or women?
00:51:08.460 Hmm.
00:51:09.700 God.
00:51:10.220 I think it's the men as well.
00:51:16.460 Big D, let's start with you.
00:51:18.140 I think guys, because I feel that guys kind of feel shameful in a way.
00:51:25.460 Like, if they, like, say out loud that they haven't had sex in a while, because it might
00:51:31.140 come off as, like, they can't get girls or something.
00:51:34.860 Whereas, I have said many times to people, like, how long I've gone.
00:51:41.440 Yeah.
00:51:41.700 So, yeah, I think guys, too.
00:51:44.700 Just more as, like, a, I don't know.
00:51:47.640 I think, like, girls just have an easier time being, like, yeah, it's been this long.
00:51:53.020 And what, like, it's not a, it's not really a big deal.
00:51:57.700 Yeah, I think, wait, what was the, guys have, yeah, guys have lie more.
00:52:03.940 Yeah.
00:52:04.080 Yeah.
00:52:05.920 Samantha?
00:52:06.940 Yeah, I definitely feel probably guys, yeah.
00:52:12.000 And you, yeah, you already answered.
00:52:14.100 You already answered.
00:52:15.000 So, tying this sort of back into who has it harder when it comes to dating, men or women,
00:52:22.400 women, overall, who would you say has the burden of initiative when it comes to dating?
00:52:31.440 So, who, who typically has to initiate?
00:52:34.560 That could be asking for a phone number, it could be approaching you, it could be sending
00:52:39.440 a DM, it could be sending a message on a dating app.
00:52:41.880 Who has the burden of the initiative?
00:52:45.060 Personally, I wouldn't accept it if I had to ask a guy.
00:52:49.860 So, I would wait for a guy to ask me.
00:52:52.520 I feel like chivalry is dead, but I would wait for a guy to ask me.
00:52:59.020 So, if the guy, the guy's not willing to make a move.
00:53:03.500 He's not.
00:53:03.800 Like, well, let's say, let's say, if, I guess, agree or disagree.
00:53:11.820 If the guy isn't willing to have the courage to come and talk to you, that's not a guy
00:53:18.100 that you would want to date.
00:53:20.260 Correct.
00:53:20.900 Okay.
00:53:21.160 I agree.
00:53:22.080 Let's go around rapid fire on the table for that one.
00:53:25.760 If a guy doesn't have the courage to initiate and approach you, wherever that may be, it
00:53:30.900 could be online, it could be in person, that type of guy is not the type of guy that you're
00:53:35.700 interested in.
00:53:36.980 I feel like I generally initiate.
00:53:39.300 Okay, so, not a good question to ask you, Brooke?
00:53:42.740 Well, like, Bumble makes, like, the girl message the guy first, which I hate in some
00:53:48.360 instances and like in some instances.
00:53:50.240 Like, it just depends, like, what you feel like you have to say to someone.
00:53:53.200 Like, what you're, like, what topics or, like, whatever you want to bring up.
00:53:57.680 Like, if you feel like you have something, like, genuinely in common with them, it's,
00:54:02.080 like, easy to talk to them first.
00:54:03.200 Like, it doesn't really matter.
00:54:04.540 Where it's not, like, about, like, oh, like, I'm the girl and I'm going to talk to the
00:54:08.260 guy first.
00:54:08.700 That's so wrong.
00:54:09.300 Like, it doesn't matter.
00:54:10.520 But I think if it's less serious dating, I would want the guy to ask me first.
00:54:17.180 I wouldn't really.
00:54:19.180 Okay.
00:54:19.460 Wait, question.
00:54:20.820 If it was more serious, are you saying that you would want to ask him first?
00:54:26.560 Well, it, like, if it was more serious, like, it wouldn't really matter.
00:54:30.520 Like, if I was going to ask them first.
00:54:32.660 Like, if it was something where, like, I feel like I'm interested in this person, I
00:54:36.800 would be willing to ask them.
00:54:38.220 Like, it wouldn't really bother me.
00:54:40.880 I think I can go after, like, things that I want, like, and it not, like, hurt my
00:54:46.600 confidence or anything.
00:54:47.920 Yeah.
00:54:48.320 If I know I want it, then I'll go for it.
00:54:49.940 It is interesting that you bring up the Bumble example because Bumble is an app,
00:54:56.220 if you guys don't know, where it's a dating app, sort of similar to Tinder or
00:55:01.180 Hinge.
00:55:01.660 But the difference is, is that when you match, you know, you swipe left or right
00:55:05.860 on people like how all the other apps are.
00:55:07.740 But when you match, the woman has to send the first message.
00:55:11.560 Now, as someone who's been on Bumble, I can say overwhelmingly, my experience,
00:55:19.940 and I think I've spoken to a few other guys, and this is the experience of a lot
00:55:23.120 of guys on there, there are certainly some women that will, when they first
00:55:27.380 message you, they will come up with something clever or something.
00:55:31.420 But overwhelmingly, y'all just say, hey, hi.
00:55:36.620 The same shit that if a guy said to you on Tinder, you wouldn't even answer.
00:55:41.460 So I'm going to say that.
00:55:42.800 So there's that.
00:55:44.900 And, I mean, look, maybe it depends on the guy.
00:55:47.020 If the guy is super attractive and he just says, hey, maybe you'll go for it,
00:55:49.500 whatever.
00:55:50.140 But I have heard a common complaint, like, for women who are on Tinder, they're
00:55:55.480 like, if you just say hi or hey, how you doing, that shit's kind of boring.
00:55:59.800 Like, it doesn't give you much to work with.
00:56:02.400 So my experience on Bumble is, like, 90% of the girls, when they do message, it's
00:56:07.960 hi, hey, how's it going?
00:56:09.880 Very basic shit.
00:56:10.640 I'd say some, like, they'll go through the profile and, like, actually do a little
00:56:14.420 something creative.
00:56:14.960 And I appreciate that because I'm like, okay, you look through it, you're putting
00:56:18.060 in effort.
00:56:19.240 And I like that.
00:56:20.460 That's cool.
00:56:21.420 But even then, I would say that as soon as they send the first message, a lot of
00:56:25.900 time, and this is my experience, you're going to have to take over as the guy from there.
00:56:33.140 Even if they send the first message, you're going to have to probably say, hey, let's
00:56:36.260 meet up.
00:56:37.320 Let's meet here.
00:56:38.440 Let's meet at this time.
00:56:39.640 And you've got to, you know, ask for the number.
00:56:42.680 And then, you know, so I think Bumble is a, ooh, voice crack, nice.
00:56:49.400 But, so, yeah, I'm still going through puberty.
00:56:53.000 I think Bumble is a step in the right direction, but, yeah, I think it's, like, the initiative
00:56:58.880 that women have to show on Bumble, it's very token.
00:57:03.500 Well, I think when you think about if you're, like, meeting someone in person, you're usually
00:57:06.960 at, like, a common place of interest, or you're, yeah, you're, like, both at a place
00:57:12.340 where, like, you're both doing something that, like, that's what I just said.
00:57:17.480 But I think that's kind of what people are looking for on dating apps is, like, find a
00:57:23.220 common interest and then talk about it.
00:57:25.740 But I do see what, I do know what you're saying about the, like, hey, because I would do that,
00:57:29.780 too, because I want them to seem like they're interested by starting a conversation.
00:57:35.480 If that makes sense.
00:57:37.340 I don't know how.
00:57:38.820 So you were a heyer on Bumble.
00:57:41.380 You would just say hey.
00:57:43.960 Not all the time.
00:57:44.800 It is what it is.
00:57:45.800 Not all the time.
00:57:46.440 It is what it is.
00:57:46.740 It's just, it depends on the person.
00:57:48.880 Like, everyone has their own little, like, peaks of interest, and it depends, like, what
00:57:54.540 type of person they are.
00:57:55.840 Yeah.
00:57:56.200 And there's certainly, like, I'm sure, by the way, just show of hands, who here at the
00:58:00.160 table has been on a dating app at some point.
00:58:03.460 Yeah.
00:58:04.140 So, I mean, there's just some profiles where it's like, the fuck am I supposed to say to
00:58:09.000 this person?
00:58:09.500 Like, they don't, it's like, on Bumble, there's prompts and stuff, but, like, sometimes there's
00:58:15.040 no, there's nothing in the bio.
00:58:16.640 There's nothing in the prompts.
00:58:18.140 Their photos are kind of fucking dull, very basic.
00:58:20.540 So it's just like, you can't really come up with something super clever, you know?
00:58:24.940 You can maybe do, like, something kind of token, just to make it at least somewhat interesting,
00:58:31.480 but, yeah.
00:58:32.680 No, I wouldn't even match with them.
00:58:34.140 You wouldn't even match if their show is boring?
00:58:35.360 No, if they're boring, and they don't have any information, it's like, what?
00:58:38.780 I'm not going to try to, like, fish for information from you.
00:58:41.520 Like, give it to me straight up, or that's it.
00:58:45.460 Okay.
00:58:45.860 Got it.
00:58:46.360 Got it.
00:58:47.420 So, and Big D, did you, did you answer?
00:58:51.540 About the initiative?
00:58:52.640 Do you prefer little D or big D?
00:58:55.940 Medium, medium-sized D?
00:58:58.560 People called me big D before, because it's, like, ironic, you know?
00:59:02.180 Right.
00:59:02.460 Because I'm such a little.
00:59:04.180 But I think it's funny.
00:59:06.160 Okay.
00:59:06.800 Yeah.
00:59:07.780 If that annoys you, by the way, I can change back to your name.
00:59:12.020 No, you're good.
00:59:12.740 Okay.
00:59:13.620 About initiative, yeah.
00:59:15.600 I definitely take that, because when I match with someone, I never message first.
00:59:20.600 Like, if I'm going on a date with you, it's for sure, because you asked me.
00:59:25.000 Okay.
00:59:25.580 So, and when you say message you, do you mean, like, is that through Instagram, a dating app?
00:59:31.440 Like, I'm talking as in dating app.
00:59:32.840 Are you currently on the dating app right now?
00:59:34.260 Yes.
00:59:34.660 Which ones?
00:59:36.240 Farmers Only?
00:59:37.020 I think I saw you on Farmers Only.
00:59:39.220 And Christian Mingle.
00:59:40.200 Right now, the one I use, like, most is Hinge, I would say.
00:59:46.560 Dude, Hinge is, like, pretty good.
00:59:50.160 Yeah, I mean, it's, yeah, it's the app made for Tinder sucks to be deleted, so.
00:59:55.580 I think they changed that, though.
00:59:57.200 Oh, really?
00:59:57.620 Well, I think, because now on Hinge, there's a field that says dating goals, what you're
01:00:05.560 looking for, whereas before, it did seem like, at least in their marketing, it was like, hey,
01:00:09.900 this is for more, people who are more serious, but in the field, you can put, like, short-term
01:00:14.700 dating, which, I mean, to me, that doesn't really equate with.
01:00:18.920 Mine has short-term open to long.
01:00:21.780 Short-term open to long.
01:00:23.640 Okay.
01:00:24.400 Got it.
01:00:24.800 You know what, oh, you know what would be interesting would be if we look, we did a
01:00:29.600 dating profile review.
01:00:31.740 Please, no.
01:00:32.880 We're going to have to, we're going to have to maybe do that for a new show when we can,
01:00:37.220 like, connect the phones to the computer or something, but.
01:00:40.560 Oh, God.
01:00:41.300 Wait, what are your other things?
01:00:44.860 Do you want me to pull it up or something?
01:00:46.380 No, it's okay, it's okay.
01:00:49.140 So, but, so you were saying how on the dating apps, you never message first.
01:00:54.460 No.
01:00:55.320 And on Hinge, so on Hinge, you can receive likes and send likes out.
01:00:59.400 Do you ever send likes out?
01:01:00.720 Yeah.
01:01:01.440 You send likes out.
01:01:02.120 Yeah.
01:01:02.240 Okay.
01:01:02.920 Are you mostly picking the, like, you probably get a lot of matches, like, guys who are liking
01:01:08.580 you on Hinge.
01:01:10.160 Mm-hmm.
01:01:10.480 And are you more, more so getting matches from the pool of men who like you, or?
01:01:16.960 Um, I actually don't know the stats on that one.
01:01:20.260 Mm-hmm.
01:01:21.100 Don't really know.
01:01:22.380 Okay.
01:01:22.840 Not it.
01:01:23.480 I like to look through both, you know?
01:01:24.740 Yeah.
01:01:25.000 But, so you were saying that on the dating apps, you want the guy to message you first.
01:01:30.640 Yeah.
01:01:31.020 Like, I never.
01:01:31.680 I never do.
01:01:32.260 You never message first.
01:01:34.120 Not even once.
01:01:34.820 Because it's like, I have before.
01:01:37.380 And it's not that I'm, like, scared to message first.
01:01:40.440 It's more like, I think it's the whole Leo and Venus thing.
01:01:46.340 You, you want.
01:01:47.720 Yeah.
01:01:48.060 You, I want someone who, like.
01:01:49.860 The guy to take initiative.
01:01:51.480 Like, who likes me enough, or, like, sees me and makes the effort to message.
01:01:57.880 Okay.
01:01:58.820 But what, let me ask you a question.
01:02:00.180 What if all men felt the exact same way as that?
01:02:05.020 Oh.
01:02:05.840 Well.
01:02:06.160 I think, I think society, I think they're just never, you know, this is the last generation.
01:02:12.600 No one else would do, but, but, uh, no, that's interesting.
01:02:15.720 So, but I think, I think that's fairly common.
01:02:18.760 I mean, I don't think there's anything wrong with someone wanting to have the other person initiate.
01:02:25.140 And I think that's kind of falls into more traditional gender roles.
01:02:30.440 I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
01:02:32.360 So.
01:02:32.960 Yeah.
01:02:33.240 It's not that, like, I'm not open to reaching out first, but I guess I want, want to be reached out first.
01:02:41.440 Yeah.
01:02:41.620 That's what you want.
01:02:42.160 But I could.
01:02:42.820 You could.
01:02:43.320 Yeah.
01:02:43.640 Like, it's not like I'm, like, embarrassed or like, oh, I can't.
01:02:46.620 Do you feel that you would lose some leverage if you messaged first?
01:02:51.940 Oh, no.
01:02:52.040 You'd think, okay, this girl's really, you'd think the guy thinks, hey, this girl's super
01:02:55.960 into me.
01:02:56.400 She's messaging me first.
01:02:57.480 And then he might make less effort.
01:02:59.480 No, I think a lot of guys find it really fresh, new and fresh, that, like, girls reach out
01:03:07.460 first and, like, very bold.
01:03:09.300 And I, like, respect that.
01:03:12.380 I just don't think I want to chase a guy.
01:03:15.980 Like, that's the whole point of why I don't want to do that.
01:03:19.380 Got it.
01:03:19.880 Okay.
01:03:21.020 So, overwhelmingly, it seemed like the panel said they prefer the guy to initiate, but you
01:03:28.980 said that you initiate more often than does my own.
01:03:34.480 I mean, not on apps.
01:03:37.760 I guess I just mean, like, if I'm, like, at a party and I meet someone, then I'll most
01:03:43.380 likely just kind of, like, go talk to them and maybe do more body language of, like, hey,
01:03:50.740 I'm into you.
01:03:52.760 And then, like, I wouldn't be the one to, like, ask them on a date, though.
01:03:57.460 So, but I would be, like, just showing signals, you know, like, hey, that makes sense.
01:04:04.100 Got it.
01:04:04.620 Okay.
01:04:05.300 So, as far as first messages, like, as far as communication, sending a message, approaching,
01:04:13.980 sounds like most of you want the guy to take the initiative there.
01:04:18.600 What about for the first kiss?
01:04:21.400 Same thing.
01:04:23.100 Let me frame it a different way.
01:04:25.120 Like, starting with Big D, have you ever been the one to go in for the kiss first?
01:04:36.220 Not a time that I recall, honestly.
01:04:38.560 She does not recall.
01:04:39.620 Okay.
01:04:40.860 Brooke.
01:04:41.560 Yes, of course.
01:04:42.740 I've asked.
01:04:44.020 Oh, literally, my boyfriend, our first date, I was dropping him off, and I was, like, he was,
01:04:50.160 like, getting out of the car, and I was, like, aren't you going to kiss me?
01:04:53.460 And then, yeah.
01:04:54.420 So, I'm pretty, like, just, like, if that's what I want, then I'm not, well, obviously,
01:04:59.580 I'm not going to, like, force anything, but I'm going to ask.
01:05:03.680 Yeah, I don't have a problem.
01:05:05.140 Like, I like kissing people.
01:05:06.820 It's nice.
01:05:07.780 It's a nice, like, sort of sign that, like, things went well, I think, especially at the
01:05:13.880 end of, like, a first date.
01:05:16.000 Yeah.
01:05:16.400 I don't know.
01:05:17.480 And so, with your last boyfriend on the first date, you initiated the first kiss?
01:05:21.620 Yes.
01:05:22.260 Okay.
01:05:22.700 Yeah.
01:05:23.100 Yeah.
01:05:23.480 And for previous relationships, would you say you more so the guy made the move or kind
01:05:30.280 of split or?
01:05:31.260 I think it was, when I think back, it's more of, like, we were, like, me and other people
01:05:36.360 were kind of, like, giving each other, like, signals, like, yeah, we're both into each other.
01:05:40.200 Like, we'd like to, like, be a little more physical than, like, what we've been, like,
01:05:44.220 just hanging out.
01:05:45.180 And so, it's hard to say, but I think I tend to, like, initiate it.
01:05:50.440 I, like, straight up ask, though.
01:05:52.200 I'm like, do you want to kiss me?
01:05:53.140 Like, I don't really beat around the bush, like, if I want to, so, but I think I ask
01:06:00.200 more, yeah.
01:06:01.280 Hey, props.
01:06:02.180 I mean, that's cool.
01:06:03.640 I think there's certainly some guys that they want things to adhere to traditional gender
01:06:10.360 roles, but I think a lot of guys, like, would really actually appreciate it, like, if a girl
01:06:16.220 sent the first message, approached them, made the first move, whatever it may be.
01:06:21.580 I think a lot of guys, because I think a lot of guys really don't feel desired.
01:06:28.660 They don't really feel wanted.
01:06:30.580 And, anyways, Samantha.
01:06:33.800 What was the question?
01:06:34.820 Yeah, what was the question?
01:06:37.420 Have you ever gone in first kiss?
01:06:41.900 First kiss.
01:06:43.660 I honestly don't know, but I think in my younger years, in, like, college, I'd always be, like,
01:06:50.680 kind of, like, wasted, like, you know, and that's when things would initiate, so I honestly
01:06:56.920 don't know.
01:06:57.440 You don't remember, because you were just so tanked.
01:06:59.560 I was so tanked, yeah.
01:07:01.020 You don't even remember.
01:07:02.040 Oh, wow.
01:07:02.860 Actually, yeah.
01:07:03.800 No, we don't need to go there.
01:07:04.680 Okay, we don't need to go there.
01:07:06.760 That is true.
01:07:07.660 I didn't think about that.
01:07:09.720 Coco.
01:07:10.000 I definitely have.
01:07:13.340 Okay, props.
01:07:14.360 Because someone before they kissed me, yeah.
01:07:17.440 I've also done the whole tanked kissing shit, so, yeah, let's not remember that if we can.
01:07:24.500 Okay.
01:07:24.940 Yeah, but I just, I don't think that it's just a big deal at all.
01:07:29.520 I do not care if a guy kisses me before I kiss him, like, it's supposed, I feel like
01:07:34.980 kisses are so overrated, and it's supposed to be this whole romantic, like, lean in, and
01:07:40.140 oh, you're supposed to feel butterflies.
01:07:42.200 It's just exchanging of saliva that you're going to keep in your freaking mouth for six
01:07:47.140 months, like.
01:07:50.320 Six months?
01:07:51.460 Yeah, it stays in your body.
01:07:53.380 The saliva?
01:07:53.800 Yes, thanks.
01:07:55.040 What?
01:07:55.720 Yes.
01:07:56.540 Oh, DNA.
01:07:57.300 That's what it is.
01:07:58.040 It's DNA.
01:07:58.300 Are you thinking of sperm?
01:07:59.960 No.
01:08:00.780 I've heard studies that y'all keep that shit around.
01:08:05.120 Like, the DNA, not, like, the DNA, I don't know, imprinting, I don't know what it is.
01:08:12.820 Wow.
01:08:13.620 So, okay.
01:08:16.960 So, you'll go for it, is what you're saying?
01:08:20.420 Yeah, of course.
01:08:20.520 Yeah.
01:08:20.800 Okay.
01:08:21.080 But, you'll, when will you go for it?
01:08:27.060 When I'm drunk.
01:08:28.040 When you're drunk.
01:08:29.440 Okay.
01:08:30.400 Sometimes when I'm sober, I just don't, I don't really remember, like, most of the times
01:08:34.480 that I've, like, gone in to go first for a kiss, because I feel like it's a platonic
01:08:37.940 thing.
01:08:38.360 If someone wants to, like, kiss you, it's like, okay, I feel like I'm never, like, if
01:08:43.120 I'm going for something and they don't want to kiss me back, I'm doing something wrong.
01:08:46.160 You know what I mean?
01:08:46.760 Like, that's definitely, like, a connection that should be developed already.
01:08:50.020 And there's, like, a level of, like, emotional intelligence that's like, okay, this person
01:08:55.280 definitely wants to.
01:08:56.880 We've been hanging out for a while or whatever.
01:08:58.580 I just feel like it's a weird thing if you go in for a kiss and another person, like,
01:09:04.340 wouldn't kiss you back.
01:09:05.740 Like, why are you going in for that kiss?
01:09:08.380 I feel like there's already, like, you realize that they're going to kiss you back.
01:09:11.820 That's why you do it.
01:09:13.140 That's why you would go in for it.
01:09:14.720 Yeah.
01:09:15.280 Okay.
01:09:16.340 Got it.
01:09:17.000 Very interesting.
01:09:18.440 So, don't do it unless you're certain.
01:09:20.420 Or do it if you're drunk and you don't care.
01:09:22.140 Okay.
01:09:23.220 Okay.
01:09:24.200 So, that's for the kiss.
01:09:26.060 What about for sex?
01:09:28.120 If I put my vagina in him first, what do you do?
01:09:32.780 What kind of vagina do you got?
01:09:35.500 I don't even.
01:09:41.560 But, so, okay.
01:09:44.980 No, I mean, as far as, because, I mean, there are steps along the way.
01:09:49.520 So, I mean, if you kind of want to break it down and get analytical.
01:09:53.860 So, you know, you go for the kiss and then you got to take the top off and then you got to take the pants off.
01:10:01.740 That comes, you know, usually.
01:10:04.060 I mean, unless.
01:10:04.780 Yeah.
01:10:05.780 And then, you know.
01:10:08.280 I don't know, like, I don't know whether to say if a guy would go for it first or if I go for it first.
01:10:22.220 Sort of a tough one, I'm not going to lie.
01:10:24.460 Because I don't know how that would work, you know.
01:10:27.080 Like, it's a mutual thing if you want to have sex with someone, I feel like.
01:10:30.620 Like, if I'm trying to pursue a guy, I'd feel a little awkward if I'm the one reaching for it.
01:10:39.760 You know what I mean?
01:10:40.540 Like, I want a guy not necessarily to be experienced.
01:10:45.700 It doesn't matter.
01:10:46.320 But I'd rather him take the initiative so I know, like, that I'm being taken care of necessarily.
01:10:53.360 Because I don't want to feel like I'm the one who wants this.
01:10:57.180 And then it makes me feel like, I don't know, like, I'm the one reaching for the sex.
01:11:01.620 And then it puts me in that uncomfortable position of, like, sometimes it's like, does he just want me for sex?
01:11:08.100 Or why am I really here?
01:11:10.380 You know what I mean?
01:11:11.600 Just, I don't know.
01:11:12.860 Sort of weird.
01:11:14.120 Okay.
01:11:14.900 Got it.
01:11:15.260 If that makes any sense.
01:11:16.320 Got it.
01:11:17.880 Yeah.
01:11:18.840 So, hold on, guys.
01:11:21.260 Chris, can we pull up this super chat really quick while I'm just fixing something on my computer?
01:11:27.940 Yes, we have a super chat from CMath that wants the love equation here.
01:11:33.740 They want you guys to, please.
01:11:36.700 So, CMath, $5 super chat, teach us the secret to seduction girls.
01:11:43.380 To secret to seduction girls.
01:11:46.000 I think he meant seduce.
01:11:47.960 Seducing seduction.
01:11:48.580 Seduce girls.
01:11:49.380 Thank you.
01:11:50.280 He's more math than grammar.
01:11:50.740 Seduction girls.
01:11:51.800 Yeah.
01:11:52.320 Is it seduction, comma, girls or seducing girls?
01:11:55.460 Seduction girls.
01:11:55.920 By the way, can you guys spell check this shit before you send them just, you know.
01:12:00.040 For $5.
01:12:01.060 Just for the grammar.
01:12:02.460 I think all the spellings, right?
01:12:03.780 It just might be the grammar.
01:12:04.700 Yeah.
01:12:05.500 Teach us.
01:12:06.220 I feel like that's a very broad statement.
01:12:09.240 I feel like he meant seducing girls.
01:12:11.260 Yeah.
01:12:11.280 Teach us the secret to seduce.
01:12:12.760 Yeah.
01:12:13.060 Because he's a guy.
01:12:14.840 Yeah.
01:12:15.460 I read it as seduction, comma, girls.
01:12:17.840 That's how I read it.
01:12:18.680 I read it.
01:12:19.220 He's asking us the secret to seduction.
01:12:22.060 He wants us to teach him.
01:12:24.340 They want us to teach them.
01:12:26.100 He's missing a comma, I think.
01:12:28.260 Yeah.
01:12:28.900 Look up and down.
01:12:30.580 Five times.
01:12:31.400 Yeah.
01:12:31.980 Turn your head.
01:12:32.740 Yeah.
01:12:33.000 Eat a banana in front of them.
01:12:35.320 That's all you got to do.
01:12:37.240 So, kind of related to the kissing thing, do you, would you want a guy, or would you find
01:12:46.440 it off-putting if the guy verbalized it?
01:12:49.160 If he was like, hey, do you want to kiss right now?
01:12:51.480 Or would you prefer it to feel a bit more organic and be like.
01:12:54.120 If I'm into him, I wouldn't care.
01:12:55.940 You wouldn't care.
01:12:56.460 But if he asks me and I'm not into him, sorry.
01:12:59.940 Well, of course.
01:13:01.040 Yeah.
01:13:01.300 I mean, I'd imagine if you weren't into him either way, it would be kind of weird.
01:13:06.280 It would be a little weird.
01:13:06.560 Yeah.
01:13:06.940 Yeah.
01:13:07.380 But you don't have a preference?
01:13:09.200 I don't have a problem with that.
01:13:10.400 I feel like that's very respectful.
01:13:13.660 Even with my boyfriend now, I feel like I asked him.
01:13:16.180 I set a lot of boundaries because we were friends first.
01:13:18.500 So, I was like, hey, friends do this, that.
01:13:21.780 But we brought it to levels later after he.
01:13:25.500 Like, he had to ask me that question.
01:13:27.720 So, it's like, I feel like that's sort of normal and I would accept that.
01:13:30.940 Ask you what was the question he asked?
01:13:32.220 Like, he asked me if he could kiss me.
01:13:34.260 Okay.
01:13:34.680 And I didn't take that in a weird way because I was, I liked him.
01:13:37.980 This is the guy who was the friend.
01:13:40.000 My boyfriend now.
01:13:41.120 But he, yeah.
01:13:41.720 But he was your friend for a bit.
01:13:43.880 Yeah.
01:13:44.080 For a long time.
01:13:44.260 Friend-zoned you and then he came around.
01:13:46.540 Yes.
01:13:47.440 And I came back.
01:13:47.800 Did you have a glow-up?
01:13:48.760 Like, what?
01:13:49.680 No.
01:13:50.300 I just.
01:13:50.740 No, I didn't.
01:13:51.740 I just think that we both came.
01:13:53.660 He wasn't ready at the time, it sounded like.
01:13:54.940 Yeah, he was not ready at the time.
01:13:57.120 And.
01:13:57.280 It sounded like he was living with his parents.
01:13:59.340 Yeah, and he definitely put in the time to, like, pursue me.
01:14:02.360 And, like, I feel like he didn't go after anybody else but me.
01:14:06.520 And he really made that obvious.
01:14:08.260 And I even, like, funny story, I even left him at my house while I went on another date with another dude once.
01:14:15.460 While we were still friends and I set boundaries on that.
01:14:18.060 And, like, he literally waited for me at my house while I went on this date.
01:14:21.420 And he hung out with my friend next door waiting for me to get back home.
01:14:25.560 And then I came home.
01:14:27.100 Got it.
01:14:27.720 Mm-hmm.
01:14:28.540 Samantha, would you find it off-putting if a guy asked you, asked to kiss you?
01:14:34.980 Or would you prefer the guy to just go in for it?
01:14:38.240 Actually, just in the last six months, sometime I don't remember when.
01:14:43.380 But that was the first time someone actually asked me.
01:14:46.440 Because usually I think they just go for it.
01:14:49.060 But it was the first time someone asked me.
01:14:51.060 And I was, like, actually really, like, turned on by it.
01:14:54.160 Because I think I felt like, whoa.
01:14:56.200 I, you know, because I think sometimes someone leans in and then you, like, don't want to be rude.
01:15:03.760 So you're like, all right.
01:15:05.240 So it was really nice to, like, have someone, like, kind of, yeah, check in or whatever.
01:15:11.880 In other words, consent is sexy.
01:15:14.200 Yeah.
01:15:14.500 It was really sexy.
01:15:15.620 It was, like, really, like, whoa.
01:15:17.060 I don't know.
01:15:17.500 It was interesting.
01:15:18.500 Consent is sexy.
01:15:20.100 Brooke.
01:15:20.500 I completely agree.
01:15:23.440 Completely agree.
01:15:24.460 No matter what step you're taking, whether it's a kiss, whether it's sex.
01:15:30.340 Like, I just think, like, just make sure that the answer is yes.
01:15:37.660 Like, it doesn't matter.
01:15:40.440 Like, God, it's just, yeah.
01:15:42.260 Like, yes means yes.
01:15:44.320 Anything else probably means I'm not sure or no.
01:15:47.620 So, yeah.
01:15:49.300 Big D?
01:15:51.780 Um, I agree with Coco.
01:15:55.200 Like, I obviously, like, if the guy is someone I like already and if he asks me, it wouldn't, like, change my opinion of him.
01:16:03.220 But I have experience where, like, sometimes, like, I feel like it can definitely be an ick.
01:16:09.060 If the guy asks.
01:16:11.320 Yeah.
01:16:11.700 That's okay, by the way.
01:16:12.620 And, like, if the vibes are right and, like, you know, like, you and her are vibing, like, I feel like you could just lean in.
01:16:19.500 And if she doesn't want to kiss you, yeah, she could, like.
01:16:24.520 Yeah.
01:16:25.200 Yeah.
01:16:25.560 Yeah, I think, so I think guys are a little bit in a tough spot with this one because there's definitely some girls will not mind if you ask.
01:16:36.840 But I think a lot of women will say, like, I'd rather the guy just go for it.
01:16:42.620 Like, they'll be turned off if the guy asks.
01:16:46.040 And it's not a question of, like, forcing the girl to do it.
01:16:49.280 But she could very well want to kiss you.
01:16:51.560 But if you ask, she'd prefer if you just went for it.
01:16:56.440 That's not the case for all women.
01:16:57.600 But I think guys are kind of in this spot.
01:16:59.240 Well, and I don't know, I think if you had, like, a conversation about it beforehand, like, 10 minutes before you anticipated kissing the girl.
01:17:07.920 Well, when I go to kiss you in 10 minutes, when I go to kiss you in 10 minutes, do you want me to just go for it or do you want me to ask?
01:17:16.520 So do you see where I'm getting at?
01:17:18.260 That might be a bit awkward, you know.
01:17:19.780 So but that is within sort of the realm of, you know, asking beforehand.
01:17:26.520 And so and I guess we could apply this also to there's so might be should we wait for Coco?
01:17:37.480 I don't know.
01:17:37.980 We'll we'll we'll keep going.
01:17:39.160 But so as it relates to I'll come back to that.
01:17:44.200 Oh, she's back.
01:17:45.000 OK, can you come this way?
01:17:46.460 Yeah, she's back, ladies and gentlemen.
01:17:50.240 And so the next question is, and you're sort of just talking about, I think, about the whole consent thing and how.
01:18:03.400 And I was just saying how on one hand.
01:18:07.100 So like there's some women that would be turned off if you were to be like, hey, is it OK if I kiss you right now?
01:18:13.540 You know, they might be like a little they'd rather it just be organic.
01:18:16.800 Right.
01:18:17.160 And that's if a woman's OK with being kissed, she may prefer for you to just go forward instead of asking.
01:18:24.740 So it might be a bit of a turn off.
01:18:26.400 So kind of along those same lines.
01:18:31.880 How far do we take verbalizing things?
01:18:36.820 So I think in California for the UC systems, all the colleges in California, this isn't the law in California, like broadly speaking, but the law for universities that receive public funding in California, there's they need to encourage what's called affirmative consent.
01:19:01.100 And so that's like it's not enough just I don't I don't know the exact language, but like you basically need what it sounds like, affirmative consent at every step along the way.
01:19:16.020 So and I'm not exactly sure what that looks like, but I guess kind of to tie that into what we've been talking about, would you find it off putting if every single time you hooked up in each instance that physically it had to escalate?
01:19:33.000 The guy was like, is it is it OK if I kiss, you know, is it OK if I put my hand on your chest?
01:19:39.720 Is it OK if I put my hand down low?
01:19:43.660 Would would you find that off putting and we'll start like, is it OK if I.
01:19:48.760 I don't know how a guy would smoothly ask, is it OK if I I'm trying to like not I'm trying to be fair with this thing, but like, is it OK if I.
01:20:03.360 Fuck you, I don't know.
01:20:05.080 I'm not sure.
01:20:05.820 But would would you be OK with that?
01:20:08.340 Would you find that off putting?
01:20:09.560 Um, maybe not the way you said it right now, but like so there's maybe as he went, maybe he would just like, is this OK or something like that?
01:20:22.880 OK, it might be like more natural than like, is it OK if I grab your boob now or something, you know, but but but he.
01:20:33.200 But so you're saying he should say, is it is this OK?
01:20:36.300 I think that might be better.
01:20:37.480 But does he need to ask that before he does it?
01:20:42.000 Because if he in my opinion, I feel like if.
01:20:47.400 I'm already like in your bed, like when we're like doing stuff, I like I am just not really the type of person to do thing, do like the smaller steps with someone if I'm not going to do the full step.
01:21:02.180 You know what I mean?
01:21:03.220 OK, so if I'm going to kiss someone, I would probably.
01:21:07.480 I would probably fuck them in the future, like would or would want to.
01:21:11.140 OK, like I like, you know, but.
01:21:13.460 Sure. So it would be a green flag for the guy.
01:21:17.240 But about the sex, I think for sure, like that is something you should ask.
01:21:23.260 But if I'm like already that far with you, then like I'm down.
01:21:30.160 Right.
01:21:30.680 You know.
01:21:31.140 Yeah.
01:21:31.380 And let's assume in these scenarios, it's like you are you want to have sex, right?
01:21:38.400 You want to have sex with the guy, but he is.
01:21:43.140 What?
01:21:44.380 What are we laughing at?
01:21:45.940 I don't know.
01:21:46.280 The comments, the comments are harsh.
01:21:47.960 I'm laughing at my friend Shy's comment.
01:21:50.280 Hi, Shy.
01:21:51.600 Does God lean into this first or do you?
01:21:54.200 God is an atheist.
01:21:54.820 Does God lean into?
01:21:58.820 Oh my God.
01:22:01.280 OK.
01:22:01.940 Hi, Shy.
01:22:02.660 God is an atheist.
01:22:04.280 There you go.
01:22:05.240 There you go.
01:22:06.400 Atheists for Jesus.
01:22:07.840 OK.
01:22:08.620 So I don't know.
01:22:10.880 I don't even know where I'm going with this question, really.
01:22:13.280 Yeah, that's hard.
01:22:14.160 I think that communication is sexy.
01:22:17.300 And like if you're at a point where you're comfortable with someone that you guys have
01:22:22.040 hooked up before.
01:22:25.880 Someone said I needed Addo.
01:22:27.900 Someone says you need Addo.
01:22:29.380 I do.
01:22:31.060 Put the camera on her.
01:22:35.340 Yeah, she.
01:22:36.160 I definitely want to put the bottle in.
01:22:40.360 But sorry, go ahead, Brooke.
01:22:42.360 I think communication is hot.
01:22:44.620 Hide that bottle.
01:22:45.300 Put that down.
01:22:49.420 I think if only one person, though, is kind of like doing the talking through everything,
01:22:54.200 it's kind of weird.
01:22:55.920 So I think there needs to be like a mutual level of communication, like expressing what
01:23:00.540 you want, expressing like what you don't like.
01:23:02.480 Like there's I don't to me, there's nothing like unsexy about being like, I don't like
01:23:08.180 that.
01:23:08.580 Let's try something different.
01:23:09.560 Like, I just think communication is important in all aspects of life.
01:23:15.980 So that's I don't have a problem with being asked anything.
01:23:21.000 I don't have a problem with being asked anything.
01:23:22.000 Okay.
01:23:22.700 Yeah.
01:23:23.660 Samantha.
01:23:24.940 Yeah, I definitely feel like there's some benefits to asking, right?
01:23:31.620 But I also feel like then you kind of get into your head and you're not really in your
01:23:35.560 body.
01:23:36.740 So that would be my only, you know, because I feel like traditionally maybe we just like
01:23:42.160 feel each other's bodies.
01:23:43.300 But I do feel like sometimes people aren't reading the room.
01:23:47.080 And so they they like, am I missing something?
01:23:49.600 No, no, no, you're fine.
01:23:50.700 You're fine.
01:23:53.160 But yeah, so I think asking is probably great if like when it's more towards like the beginning
01:23:59.700 of the relationship.
01:24:01.200 And then as you get to know the person, then that would probably seem kind of extra.
01:24:06.540 Yeah.
01:24:07.380 All right.
01:24:07.800 Well, the way that you worded the question, you said if every single guy asked you, I
01:24:13.900 would feel like it's a little like ungenuine, you know what I mean?
01:24:17.960 And I feel like that I would relate all those guys together.
01:24:21.240 And then I would literally think about that another dude when that guy asked me that question
01:24:26.540 and every single guy is asking me that question.
01:24:29.140 So I feel like that that would just make it a little not different for me.
01:24:36.560 You know what I mean?
01:24:37.200 Like, I feel like all these guys are sort of the same if they kept asking me that question.
01:24:42.600 What is the question?
01:24:43.800 Can I put my hand on your chest?
01:24:46.040 Can I fuck you?
01:24:47.620 Yeah.
01:24:48.880 Like before every single like the way that you said it was like a little severe.
01:24:52.660 That's why that's why I'm saying it like this.
01:24:55.440 But, you know, it's different because I'm just with one guy right now.
01:25:00.060 But even if that guy asked me every single time before we had sex, I would just fucking
01:25:04.240 break up.
01:25:04.760 It wouldn't feel organic, right?
01:25:07.560 It wouldn't feel organic.
01:25:08.400 And it would feel like a cycle.
01:25:10.360 And life's already a cycle.
01:25:11.980 So it's like I need something to spice it up a little bit.
01:25:15.380 You know what I mean?
01:25:16.860 And asking the same question every single time.
01:25:19.560 It's just like I don't even want to do it anymore.
01:25:21.220 Like, in my opinion.
01:25:24.100 But the first time, I feel like it's sort of important to ask that question.
01:25:28.620 But moving forward with that, it's already like, okay, we asked that question.
01:25:33.600 We want to.
01:25:34.300 Unless you tell me otherwise and communicate with me that you don't want to do this with
01:25:37.980 me anymore.
01:25:38.940 It's sort of a given that we're going to.
01:25:40.760 Right.
01:25:41.340 Yeah.
01:25:41.740 Yeah.
01:25:42.820 Got it.
01:25:43.460 Okay.
01:25:45.980 Good answers.
01:25:47.380 Good answers.
01:25:49.580 So going back to if it is dating harder for men or women.
01:25:58.320 We've had some disagreements.
01:26:02.600 Wait, say that again?
01:26:03.620 Is dating harder for men or women?
01:26:06.180 Oh, so we're back to it.
01:26:07.900 So we're back.
01:26:09.860 I got to make my case here.
01:26:12.720 I guess I got to share my thoughts.
01:26:14.540 So I would say that dating is harder for men.
01:26:18.620 And I think there's a few reasons for that.
01:26:21.620 But one of them is the burden of initiative generally falls on the guy.
01:26:30.480 Like, I guess we could almost paint a bit of a dream scenario here.
01:26:36.000 Well, no, it's not even a scenario.
01:26:37.300 It's just a real situation.
01:26:39.560 Have any of you here gone out to a bar or a nightclub?
01:26:44.300 No.
01:26:45.320 Never?
01:26:45.680 You've never gone to a bar?
01:26:46.940 No, I have.
01:26:47.500 I think so.
01:26:50.280 You're kind of me.
01:26:51.620 So has everyone here gone to, like, a bar or a nightclub?
01:26:54.580 Yes.
01:26:55.220 Yes.
01:26:55.880 Or a party?
01:26:57.720 Yes.
01:26:58.120 Would you say more, like, do you get approached by guys?
01:27:01.520 Yes.
01:27:02.540 Ma.
01:27:02.820 Samantha?
01:27:04.560 Depends on the party.
01:27:05.860 Yeah.
01:27:06.220 Okay.
01:27:06.520 Depends on if I'm with my boyfriend.
01:27:08.260 When you're single, when you were single, if you were at a bar, club, or party, do you
01:27:12.640 get approached by men?
01:27:14.020 More than once a night?
01:27:14.920 A couple times a night?
01:27:15.920 Probably more than once.
01:27:17.520 At least once a night.
01:27:18.800 Okay.
01:27:19.160 At least once a night.
01:27:20.460 Broke?
01:27:20.700 I think I kind of radiate this energy that, like, I don't want to talk to people outside
01:27:26.340 of, like, my friend group that I'm already there with, which is actually pretty true.
01:27:30.620 Like, yeah.
01:27:32.540 I don't really.
01:27:34.340 I don't.
01:27:34.820 I think I'm kind of off-putting, like, I don't really want to talk to people.
01:27:39.300 Sure.
01:27:39.420 But guys do approach you, but you don't necessarily enjoy it when they do.
01:27:44.900 Sometimes, yeah.
01:27:45.640 Like, one time this guy, like, was like, you should smile.
01:27:49.020 Ooh.
01:27:49.880 Oh, no.
01:27:50.640 No.
01:27:51.240 That's how I approach you.
01:27:52.440 Sorry.
01:27:53.240 No.
01:27:53.600 So, but yeah, I think, I mean, I'm not saying that I don't think, like, guys are attracted
01:27:59.040 to me or, like, don't want to talk to me, but I think I just kind of give off this vibe
01:28:02.860 that, like, I'm here with the people I'm here with right now, and I'm not really here
01:28:06.600 to, like, meet guys that I don't know, you know?
01:28:11.520 Got it.
01:28:12.020 Yeah.
01:28:12.620 Big D?
01:28:14.000 Yeah, I would say, like, maybe at least once, depending on the night.
01:28:19.200 Sometimes, no.
01:28:20.500 But it's fun, yeah.
01:28:21.360 Okay.
01:28:22.060 Got it.
01:28:22.740 Sometimes, no.
01:28:23.860 So, I'll say this.
01:28:26.280 As a guy, if you go to a club or a bar or a party, ain't nobody talking to you the entire
01:28:37.100 night.
01:28:37.680 So, right off the bat there, I think kind of relating it back to who has the burden of initiative
01:28:45.200 as a dude, like, nobody's talking to you.
01:28:49.920 Have you ever had those really drunk girls just come up to you and, like, one night you
01:28:54.680 look like Johnny Depp, right?
01:28:56.060 But the morning after, it's like.
01:28:59.680 The girl looks like Johnny Depp?
01:29:03.860 No, like, this girl comes up to you.
01:29:06.380 Oh, she thinks I'm hot.
01:29:08.600 She thinks that you're this god.
01:29:10.440 Have you ever had this girl come up to you, and she's just, like, plastered, and she just
01:29:14.680 thinks you're the hottest thing on earth?
01:29:17.240 Well, so, I might be a bit of an outlier because, I mean, when I was a bit younger, I'd go to bars
01:29:22.640 and clubs a little bit, but honestly, even then, I didn't really like it.
01:29:26.300 Like, I barely drink.
01:29:28.520 I don't like bars.
01:29:29.480 I don't like clubs.
01:29:30.160 I think I'd rather, I think I honestly would rather masturbate with sandpaper than go to
01:29:35.080 a bar or a nightclub.
01:29:36.740 In fact, I think I have some sandpaper here.
01:29:39.620 Hold on.
01:29:40.300 Let me pull it out.
01:29:41.380 How did this happen?
01:29:42.420 I can't.
01:29:43.160 Why are we here?
01:29:44.340 So, I've got a couple different grits.
01:29:47.140 I've got medium grit, sandpaper.
01:29:52.720 So, yeah.
01:29:53.460 Which one feels the best, or the worst?
01:29:56.020 Fine grits, pretty good, I reckon.
01:29:58.060 But, yeah, I don't really like going to bars.
01:30:00.780 I don't like going to clubs.
01:30:02.980 Maybe it was five, six years ago I was at a bar or club.
01:30:07.000 I don't really drink like that to begin with, so not.
01:30:10.520 Like, I'll meet someone at a, like, a lounge.
01:30:13.340 If I'm going on a date, I'll meet a girl at a quiet bar or something, but I'm not, like,
01:30:18.040 going out to drink.
01:30:19.600 I don't really move like that.
01:30:21.080 So, as far as your example goes with the chick that thinks I'm Johnny Depp.
01:30:28.440 That's a good one.
01:30:30.200 I don't think I've encountered that experience.
01:30:34.460 So, what are you trying to say?
01:30:35.440 You're lucky enough.
01:30:36.360 Are you trying to say that the girl, she comes up to me?
01:30:39.820 Yeah, yeah, basically.
01:30:41.020 Like, you know, sometimes there's that really wasted girl at a party, and she talks to everyone.
01:30:46.640 You know what I mean?
01:30:47.960 Like, looking for her friends, lost her phone, she doesn't know what her name is, and she's
01:30:53.620 just talking to everyone.
01:30:53.820 If she's really drunk?
01:30:55.040 Yeah.
01:30:55.780 I mean, I wouldn't even, I'd probably, that's a bit iffy for me.
01:31:00.540 Like, I'm not trying to.
01:31:01.640 Well, no, nobody's trying to do anything with her.
01:31:05.200 But, like, I'm just saying in an approach, like, have you been approached by a girl at a
01:31:09.400 moment?
01:31:09.460 I mean, I've been, I've had, like, women who are just fucking sloshed, and they're
01:31:15.560 fucking going up to you, but it's, they're just, like, it's, to me, it's not clear that
01:31:21.580 they're, like, trying to hit on me or anything.
01:31:23.360 Yeah, but it's just approaching you.
01:31:26.020 I've, maybe twice.
01:31:27.920 That is them hitting.
01:31:28.980 Let me go.
01:31:29.580 I think twice I've, I've had that.
01:31:32.440 But I would say, I don't think I've, of the times, like, when I was younger, I went out
01:31:38.160 a little bit.
01:31:38.680 But, um, I don't think I've ever, either in, at a fucking Trader Joe's, yeah, at a Trader
01:31:47.540 Joe's, or a club, or a bar, or a party, like, I've never been approached by a girl.
01:31:54.060 Never.
01:31:54.780 Not even when they, like, want you to buy them a drink or something?
01:31:57.920 I wouldn't do that.
01:31:59.000 I wouldn't buy a girl a drink.
01:31:59.780 But have they come up to you?
01:32:00.640 Like, come up to you, like, start, no?
01:32:02.820 Have they come up to me?
01:32:03.760 Like, you don't need to do the act of it, but just, like, do they approach you?
01:32:07.400 I have never been, like, approached by a girl where it's clear that she's, like, pursuing
01:32:13.040 me in that way.
01:32:14.000 Yeah.
01:32:15.740 Not once.
01:32:16.580 That's good.
01:32:17.280 We don't need that in our lives.
01:32:19.580 We, I don't need that?
01:32:20.760 You don't, you don't need that in your life.
01:32:22.380 You need a good woman.
01:32:24.140 A good woman that I have to.
01:32:25.880 Yeah.
01:32:26.740 No, and she could be sober, right?
01:32:29.000 Like, it's not so much that I want her to be drunk or anything, but, yeah, I don't
01:32:34.720 think I, I've never even had just, in any scenario, a girl approach me, and I think a
01:32:41.400 lot of guys have, guys in the chat, Stephen Krug, I recognize Stephen Krug.
01:32:49.140 Hey, man, thank you for the super chats last week.
01:32:51.320 Much appreciated.
01:32:51.900 Guys, one, men in the chat, one, if a girl has approached you, like, hit on you.
01:33:02.160 A one?
01:33:03.600 A one in the chat.
01:33:06.180 Two, if you, if a girl has never, like, come up to you at a bar, club, party, anywhere,
01:33:10.620 with a specific intent, like, they're kind of interested in you, they're hitting on you.
01:33:14.940 So, one in the chat for, yes, two in the chat for a girl has never hit on you.
01:33:24.160 Two in the chat for you've never been hit on by a girl.
01:33:26.540 Two in the chat you've never been hit on.
01:33:28.580 One, you've been approached.
01:33:30.420 Yeah.
01:33:30.740 You've been approached.
01:33:31.420 At least once, though.
01:33:32.440 I mean, it could have only been once.
01:33:34.660 See?
01:33:35.220 It could have only been once.
01:33:37.260 Oh.
01:33:38.020 Okay, so we got a few.
01:33:39.100 We got a few.
01:33:39.720 One, two, one, one.
01:33:41.480 Zero, I'm gay.
01:33:43.900 I don't even know.
01:33:44.500 That's a two.
01:33:45.880 That's a two.
01:33:46.860 Oh, by a girl.
01:33:49.460 Okay, cool.
01:33:50.500 So, a little, there's some differences there in the chat.
01:33:55.200 You know, it's possible that I've been approached, but I just don't remember it.
01:33:58.960 But overwhelmingly, I mean, my experience is, like, as a guy, like, if you go out, ain't nobody talking to you.
01:34:06.800 Whereas if you go to a club and you're, you know, some guy will come and talk to you.
01:34:12.520 He might not be the guy you want, but.
01:34:15.640 And similarly, so, I guess to continue my point, as far as why I think that dating is harder as a guy, bro, it's tough.
01:34:26.960 I mean, if, if, even if you just want sex, like, it could take you, like, an average guy, it could take you a couple weeks.
01:34:37.080 It could take you three years.
01:34:38.440 It could take you a couple weeks.
01:34:39.680 It's a couple months.
01:34:40.920 Whereas, like, if you were so inclined, not to say that you wouldn't necessarily want this, but if you were so inclined.
01:34:50.780 All right, Chris, you can stop, fucker.
01:34:59.340 Will Smith is here.
01:35:01.280 Will Smith.
01:35:01.980 Will Smith is watching.
01:35:02.900 Oh, Will Smith is, yeah.
01:35:05.320 Sorry about Jada, dude.
01:35:07.820 She, she got a little, okay.
01:35:10.900 Anyway.
01:35:11.380 All right, so, I guess I'm going to ask a question for the panel here.
01:35:17.300 If you were so inclined, do you think that you could go find a brand new guy that you've never talked to before tonight and sleep with him?
01:35:25.980 No, emotional.
01:35:27.440 No, I just can't.
01:35:28.500 But not, not so much in terms of what you want, but if you were so inclined to.
01:35:33.340 If I was inclined, then.
01:35:34.940 To sleep with a guy, would you be able to secure a guy tonight to sleep with?
01:35:39.040 Yeah.
01:35:39.240 That you.
01:35:39.400 Probably.
01:35:42.020 Okay.
01:35:42.420 On a Tuesday.
01:35:43.140 On a Tuesday.
01:35:44.420 On the club going down on a Tuesday.
01:35:47.620 You could probably just walk out down here and just find a guy.
01:35:51.340 Let's follow me with a camera right now.
01:35:52.900 We will do that.
01:35:53.520 Let's do it.
01:35:54.180 We'll do that.
01:35:54.820 Here, we'll get, we'll get the long view camera and we'll just see you in the street approaching men.
01:35:58.660 I'll just do a thumbs up or thumbs down.
01:36:00.360 Yeah, actually go out on the balcony and, and just shout at guys passing by.
01:36:04.460 Hey, do you want to fuck?
01:36:05.360 Yeah.
01:36:05.800 Yeah, there's a loft up there, by the way.
01:36:08.440 But Samantha.
01:36:10.020 Um, I'd have to say no for me, probably.
01:36:13.560 I don't think, I don't think have that level of game.
01:36:16.980 You don't, you don't think you could find a guy that's reasonably like decent looking, whatever, to sleep with you tonight.
01:36:24.960 Um, you can use dating apps.
01:36:28.480 You can just, you can just fucking go out.
01:36:31.420 I don't know.
01:36:32.420 I mean, I don't think so.
01:36:34.300 You said it doesn't have to be a guy that you want, right?
01:36:37.420 You said if you are inclined to have sex tonight.
01:36:41.680 If you're so inclined, have sex with a guy.
01:36:42.900 And he, he can be like.
01:36:44.380 Yeah.
01:36:44.880 Like anyone.
01:36:46.480 Mm-hmm.
01:36:48.540 It's just a possibility of having sex tonight or now.
01:36:51.200 It doesn't have to be the first guy you talk to, but if you were, um, you know.
01:36:56.800 You could, you could find like, you could find a reasonably attractive guy to do it.
01:37:01.860 He might not be a match for you, but you could have sex.
01:37:05.820 Um, yeah, I, I, I would say I don't really have a game like that either.
01:37:13.380 I don't, I wouldn't say I'm like a player or anything, but I just feel like I could.
01:37:19.320 You, you feel like you couldn't.
01:37:21.340 I could.
01:37:22.220 You could.
01:37:22.800 Yeah.
01:37:23.260 Okay.
01:37:23.640 Just maybe because like desperation.
01:37:28.120 On the guy's part?
01:37:29.260 Yeah.
01:37:29.900 Yeah.
01:37:30.200 I mean, a lot of guys, um, here, here's a good question that we can sort of riff off
01:37:37.740 of that.
01:37:38.420 So what would you guys say, what percentage of men are like having sex?
01:37:46.400 Hmm?
01:37:47.200 Let me, let me reframe it.
01:37:48.600 Who's, who's having, who's having more, who's having more sex, men or women?
01:37:56.460 Um, I think from like the people I know, it's the guys, the guys are having more sex.
01:38:09.660 I don't know.
01:38:13.040 Let's start with big D.
01:38:14.360 Big D, what do you think?
01:38:15.820 I would say guys just from.
01:38:18.220 Guys are having more sex.
01:38:19.040 Yeah, because from what I'm hearing from a lot of like what I've heard from a lot of
01:38:24.500 people, I've heard a guy having like losing count of how many people they have sex with
01:38:31.880 versus like girls that like usually know how many people they have had sex with.
01:38:38.000 I know a few girls.
01:38:39.480 Let me just say, let me just say.
01:38:42.220 Those girls are my friends.
01:38:43.140 Those girls are your friends.
01:38:44.320 And yeah, so I mean, definitely there's some slutty dude, but like not enough to a guy
01:38:50.440 where they have like genuinely lost track.
01:38:53.940 Well, I would say that the guys who can really rack up the numbers, those are going to be
01:38:58.120 like, probably like top, top percent of guys.
01:39:03.720 I think like, I don't think an average guy can put up like 50 bodies.
01:39:09.500 Yeah.
01:39:09.980 I don't think he would be able to do it.
01:39:11.540 I think it'd be like top 10, 20 percent, whereas like, I think an average woman, if
01:39:16.980 she was so inclined, pretty much honestly, most women, if they're so inclined, could put
01:39:23.040 up a hundred bodies in their freshman semester at UCSB.
01:39:27.000 First semester at UCSB.
01:39:30.320 So I forgot what the question was, but Samantha go.
01:39:34.840 I don't remember what the question is.
01:39:38.140 Who, oh, who's having more sex, men or women?
01:39:40.400 I would have to say, I feel like women.
01:39:43.520 Women are having more sex.
01:39:44.420 Yeah.
01:39:44.480 And I feel like a lot of women in my friend circles are having a good time.
01:39:49.720 I agree with that fully.
01:39:51.940 My friends have rosters and they are some players and these girls got game, bro.
01:39:58.960 Every single night there is a different guy at their house and go off.
01:40:03.300 I don't know.
01:40:05.300 Agreed.
01:40:05.700 Wow.
01:40:07.820 Okay.
01:40:08.240 So can you talk a little bit about them?
01:40:10.980 Like, have they told you their body counts?
01:40:13.120 Maybe don't, you don't have to expose them.
01:40:15.040 I don't even think they know them, their own body counts or they haven't explained it to
01:40:18.480 me.
01:40:19.160 You know what I mean?
01:40:19.800 I feel like that's just not like a, hey girly, what's your body count?
01:40:22.940 Like, you know.
01:40:23.560 Sure.
01:40:24.480 It's a very personal thing.
01:40:25.920 Um, but yeah, I feel like, I don't know, just my friends specifically, like they're
01:40:33.280 attractive women and they get with a lot of men.
01:40:36.920 They're, I mean, at my age, most people are very sexually active at all of our ages.
01:40:41.760 Most people are very sexually active.
01:40:43.740 And I just think that the women that I hang out with, um, keep it real and got a hundred
01:40:50.060 men on their line if they want.
01:40:51.280 You know what I mean?
01:40:52.200 Right.
01:40:52.760 Right.
01:40:53.040 Okay.
01:40:53.600 Yeah.
01:40:54.480 So they're putting in work.
01:40:56.060 They're pushing pee.
01:40:57.520 So, and did you ever, before your boyfriend, did you ever partake in a similar sort of
01:41:05.520 lifestyle?
01:41:06.840 I mean, like a little bit, a long time ago, I could say that I had maybe like a roster
01:41:13.800 of a couple guys, but honestly, nowhere near what my friends can do.
01:41:17.840 They're a ruthless problem.
01:41:19.180 Can, can you tell us some examples of mine?
01:41:25.440 Yeah.
01:41:25.620 Your friends, like, so you're saying they're, they're, Oh yeah, no, she like literally, I
01:41:30.800 can't even keep up with the names of these guys that they're telling me and they're at,
01:41:34.160 they're like asking me about questions and they're like, Oh, you remember this guy?
01:41:37.020 And I'm like, quite honestly, I don't even, but I'm just going to play it along.
01:41:40.080 Like, yeah.
01:41:40.460 So wait, clarifying question.
01:41:41.940 Is it, is she just having a bunch of one night stands or does she have like five guys
01:41:47.760 concurrently that she's sleeping with?
01:41:50.620 I think it's mostly just one night stands.
01:41:53.740 She doesn't have like a consistent, a few consistent guys.
01:41:56.500 No, she does not want a relationship.
01:41:57.420 Okay.
01:41:57.760 So it's just one time.
01:41:58.940 You know what I mean?
01:41:59.480 Like that's, that's having a connection with someone and she don't want them.
01:42:02.720 Okay.
01:42:02.980 But so, okay.
01:42:05.400 And, but it sounds like it's your friend group.
01:42:07.740 There's more than one.
01:42:08.820 Oh yeah.
01:42:09.300 Oh yeah.
01:42:09.800 No, they live together.
01:42:10.840 It's a fun house.
01:42:11.680 Oh, so they, okay.
01:42:13.000 Do you live with them?
01:42:14.180 No.
01:42:15.340 I was gonna.
01:42:16.820 Okay.
01:42:17.480 They might be watching right now that you're putting them on blast.
01:42:20.400 I hope they are.
01:42:20.980 I hope they are.
01:42:22.060 Okay.
01:42:23.240 And so they're, they're racking up.
01:42:26.400 It's like a little whore house.
01:42:27.360 It is a whore.
01:42:28.460 Wow.
01:42:30.080 Okay.
01:42:30.960 Good times.
01:42:31.700 So then, so you think that they're probably having sex while watching the podcast.
01:42:38.700 It's on, it's on the background.
01:42:41.480 It's on in the background.
01:42:43.960 So, wow.
01:42:45.360 So, so you think that women are having more sex than men are?
01:42:50.260 Okay.
01:42:50.740 Yes.
01:42:51.360 And here, here's sort of a follow-up question to that.
01:42:54.380 So who do you think are women more likely to be Eskimo sisters?
01:43:01.540 Eskimo sisters with other women or are men more likely to be Eskimo?
01:43:05.080 Women.
01:43:05.660 Women are way more likely to be Eskimo sisters with other women.
01:43:08.520 Than men are to be Eskimo brothers.
01:43:10.560 Okay.
01:43:10.740 I just feel like there's just such a stigma around guys getting with other guys unless
01:43:14.400 they're gay.
01:43:15.520 Oh, wait, wait.
01:43:16.060 Oh.
01:43:16.480 So do you understand what I say though when I mean Eskimo?
01:43:19.440 Oh.
01:43:19.600 So basically, okay, Eskimo, Eskimo sister, Eskimo brother, you've had sex with the same
01:43:27.500 person.
01:43:28.280 I think it's more.
01:43:29.400 So two girls having sex with the same guy, for example.
01:43:32.340 Oh, that would not fucking fly with me.
01:43:33.640 I think it's more likely for the guys to be Eskimo brothers.
01:43:37.620 Yeah.
01:43:37.700 Wait, this isn't a threesome thing, by the way.
01:43:39.620 No.
01:43:39.880 I'm saying individually.
01:43:41.000 No, yeah.
01:43:41.760 No, like I think that a girl can run through a group of guys like that.
01:43:46.140 Sorry, but y'all are easy.
01:43:48.640 And I just think that it's more likely for this girl to get with all of his friends because
01:43:54.760 guys don't really communicate like that.
01:43:56.500 And I feel like that.
01:43:57.940 Yeah.
01:43:58.120 And girls do.
01:43:58.880 A girl will like state her territory.
01:44:00.900 If she's gone with this guy, it's like hands off.
01:44:02.980 And if you get with him, you're like, we need to have a talk about it or get the fuck
01:44:07.460 out of my life.
01:44:08.060 You're on the shit list.
01:44:08.740 You're on the shit list.
01:44:09.840 Exactly.
01:44:11.000 So even, even if it's just like a one night stand thing, you're still going to be.
01:44:14.320 It doesn't matter.
01:44:16.940 It's awful.
01:44:17.860 It's like, it doesn't matter unless if it's a one night stand and you've had emotions
01:44:22.460 attached to it and it's like he broke it off.
01:44:25.460 But if it's your doing of the one night stand, it doesn't matter.
01:44:29.760 Yeah.
01:44:30.880 Okay.
01:44:31.280 But if he broke your heart because it was a one night stand, then girls stay the fuck
01:44:36.060 away.
01:44:37.920 Got it.
01:44:38.640 So Chris, let's do some super chats here, but I want to come back to that, but we've
01:44:47.660 got a couple of super chats that came in super chat section.
01:44:50.660 We have Mr. Krug who made a mistake and donated twice or maybe that might've been three times.
01:44:58.140 That might've been intentional.
01:44:59.260 Well, they have, they have a point.
01:45:00.860 Steven Krug, uh, show the first one, Chris.
01:45:03.560 I like the gray.
01:45:04.940 Okay.
01:45:05.220 So Steven Krug, I, this is, I think what you intended as the super chat.
01:45:08.540 Oh, he donated.
01:45:09.280 Oh, it's the same message.
01:45:10.180 Okay.
01:45:10.460 Show the, show the, the bottom one.
01:45:12.860 Well, he, he donated $9.99 and he didn't tie it to a message and then he donated again.
01:45:18.240 Yeah.
01:45:18.620 Pull that one up.
01:45:21.580 Steven Krug.
01:45:22.540 Well, thank you for the $20.
01:45:24.100 Much appreciated.
01:45:25.080 Uh, evolutionarily women are more selective for mates because of inherent pregnancy risk
01:45:30.560 slash burden, higher time investment requirement than men thoughts.
01:45:35.000 Okay.
01:45:35.400 We can go around the panel on that one.
01:45:36.800 Big D.
01:45:38.500 Yes.
01:45:39.220 Agree.
01:45:39.780 Okay.
01:45:40.760 More selective.
01:45:41.700 I mean, yeah, that makes sense.
01:45:43.780 Yeah.
01:45:44.260 Um, it's actually like, so that like, um, men find physical cheating more, uh, difficult
01:45:54.320 to deal with and women find like, this is all evolutionary.
01:45:58.440 Um, women find emotional, wait, did I get that right?
01:46:02.060 Emotional cheating more, um, like difficult to deal with because, um, like a male can never
01:46:09.760 be completely certain that someone he impregnates is like actually pregnant with their biological
01:46:14.460 child.
01:46:15.640 Um, whereas a woman has to seek out like a good mate to like be the sperm for their child.
01:46:23.300 So yeah, this is actually very true.
01:46:26.080 Yeah.
01:46:26.380 So you're right.
01:46:27.300 Steven Krug.
01:46:29.120 Samantha.
01:46:30.120 Yeah.
01:46:30.300 Definitely agree.
01:46:31.580 Steven, you're spot on.
01:46:33.920 And we have a unanimous yes.
01:46:36.780 What's that?
01:46:37.560 We have a unanimous yes.
01:46:38.900 We have a unanimous yes.
01:46:41.580 Okay.
01:46:42.560 And then we have one from Mr. Will Smith.
01:46:45.020 Will Smith, of course.
01:46:46.080 Always making me.
01:46:46.860 Will Smith.
01:46:47.660 He just sent money.
01:46:48.540 That is, uh, thank you for the one 99.
01:46:50.660 Me and the blue hair girl had an entanglement.
01:46:53.480 It's all over her face, bro.
01:46:55.120 Um, she's a bit shy, Kiki, um, but, uh, Will Smith, if you want, I can arrange for a meeting.
01:47:05.000 She's a bit shy, but, uh, yeah, so.
01:47:09.400 She has hair.
01:47:10.900 Very cool.
01:47:11.680 Um, so, Chris, what I want you to do is pull up the first chart on the other computer.
01:47:19.840 The chart, the infographic.
01:47:29.920 Yes.
01:47:30.900 Okay.
01:47:31.380 So, uh, this is from the Washington Post.
01:47:35.360 It's a general social survey they've been taking for, since 1989.
01:47:38.760 Uh, young men driving the decline in sex, share of men and women between ages 18 and 30 reporting
01:47:45.760 no sex in the past year.
01:47:48.520 And it looks up until 2008, it was pretty even there between men and women.
01:47:55.420 And let me tell you in 2008.
01:47:57.260 Okay.
01:47:57.480 Okay.
01:47:57.800 But, uh, in 2018, so it's saying that, uh, let's see.
01:48:03.220 So, 18% of women are reporting having had, between the ages of 18 and 30, reporting no
01:48:09.520 sex in the past year.
01:48:11.140 And 28% of men reporting no sex in the past year.
01:48:16.960 And that's from the Washington Post.
01:48:18.940 Um, so.
01:48:20.620 I wonder if that's going to change since Roe versus Wade just got overturned.
01:48:24.320 Yeah.
01:48:25.300 So, well, I'd also be curious to see that the last data point is 2018.
01:48:30.020 I actually suspect the difference has increased quite a bit.
01:48:35.120 I wouldn't be surprised if it's like 35, 40% of men have had, between those ages, are not
01:48:41.620 sexually active at all.
01:48:43.620 Um, and it's possible that it's increased even a bit for women too.
01:48:48.660 But, so you think with Roe versus Wade being overturned that there's like a sex strike or
01:48:53.480 what?
01:48:53.780 Yeah, I feel like a lot of women are just going to have no sex just to keep themselves from
01:48:57.860 not having a risk of getting pregnant.
01:49:00.240 You know what I mean?
01:49:01.200 And like not having safe healthcare or safe access to abortions, you know?
01:49:06.240 Yeah.
01:49:06.760 Well, so, um, do you think that would be state dependent though?
01:49:12.580 Because, I mean, certainly in California it's, you can still get an abortion.
01:49:16.460 Whereas if you're in, I think, Ohio, a lot of more Republican states, um, you know, they
01:49:23.000 had laws that as soon, I think it was as soon as Roe v. Wade got repealed, it was like a
01:49:29.000 trigger law or something and then it would be just banned immediately.
01:49:33.380 Um, so you think, you think because of that women are going to have less sex because Roe
01:49:39.520 v. Wade was overturned?
01:49:40.300 Definitely, but in those states alone, not in California.
01:49:43.780 Even in California, maybe.
01:49:44.720 Even in California.
01:49:45.740 It's a strike.
01:49:46.840 Yeah.
01:49:47.340 A sex strike.
01:49:48.260 It is.
01:49:48.700 I think it is, yeah.
01:49:49.660 I told my boyfriend I wouldn't have sex with him.
01:49:51.920 You, you told, hold on, wait.
01:49:53.300 You told your boyfriend you're not having sex with him?
01:49:55.300 Yeah.
01:49:55.780 Because of Roe v. Wade?
01:49:57.120 Yeah.
01:49:58.580 How's that going?
01:49:59.840 Uh, it didn't work, but.
01:50:01.900 Wait.
01:50:02.840 Oh, okay.
01:50:03.960 So it's, it's not ongoing.
01:50:06.160 Uh, no, but I think.
01:50:08.800 Was it out of the frustration?
01:50:10.540 Yeah.
01:50:11.140 Yeah.
01:50:11.480 But I guess why punish your boyfriend for.
01:50:15.360 Because he's a man.
01:50:15.880 Because he's a man.
01:50:17.180 But.
01:50:17.860 And he's capable of getting me pregnant.
01:50:20.100 But, but what does him being a man, I mean, what, how did he contribute?
01:50:25.260 What about him not?
01:50:26.180 What, how did he contribute to Roe v. Wade?
01:50:28.920 I mean, is he a liberal, is he a liberal guy?
01:50:32.560 I don't think you understand.
01:50:34.600 But no, explain it to me.
01:50:35.940 But he is a man.
01:50:38.380 That's literally my explanation for it.
01:50:41.340 Well.
01:50:41.800 Point blank, he could get me pregnant and that's not going to fly with me.
01:50:45.660 He could get you pregnant.
01:50:47.120 Okay.
01:50:47.320 But I mean.
01:50:50.380 But it sounds like it didn't.
01:50:52.580 You, you've sort of fallen off on this no sex thing.
01:50:56.320 Yeah.
01:50:56.620 By choice.
01:50:57.440 We started using condoms again.
01:50:59.760 I see.
01:51:00.500 But I mean, even though you're in California, you don't feel that.
01:51:03.660 I mean, you're still, you can still get an abortion in California.
01:51:06.180 Yeah, but I've had an abortion and it sucks.
01:51:09.360 So I would not want to do that again.
01:51:11.720 But I mean, I suppose in California, what, were you not using condoms before the decision?
01:51:18.420 I'm just trying to understand.
01:51:19.640 I'm, I'm on birth control.
01:51:20.980 And so that I don't have, so that we don't have to use condoms.
01:51:24.520 But now it's just like not worth the risk at all.
01:51:28.680 It's not worth that 0.01% risk.
01:51:33.200 Okay.
01:51:33.620 And so the change of heart was because of Roe v. Wade being overturned.
01:51:38.440 Yeah, and it's not just for me, for my body.
01:51:41.100 It's for everyone that's not able to get an abortion in this country.
01:51:45.140 That it's like, what kind of person am I if I'm just going to like still go crazy even
01:51:52.220 though there are other people, you know?
01:51:53.440 So you, you feel a sense of collective guilt?
01:51:58.300 You feel like.
01:51:59.480 Responsibility and anger and just fucking, it's awful.
01:52:03.280 Like I, yeah, it's awful.
01:52:06.260 Okay.
01:52:06.560 It's fucking horrible.
01:52:07.560 Okay.
01:52:07.860 But so, and what did your boyfriend think when you were like, hey, Roe v. Wade got overturned?
01:52:13.960 He said okay.
01:52:15.200 He said okay?
01:52:15.940 He said okay.
01:52:16.300 He was on board.
01:52:17.200 He was on board.
01:52:17.880 He was on board.
01:52:18.600 Yeah.
01:52:18.700 So you withheld sex.
01:52:19.940 You were punishing him.
01:52:21.160 No, I'm not punishing him.
01:52:22.380 It's sort of a punishment.
01:52:23.340 There's no man that I'm punishing.
01:52:25.640 It's the fucking SCOTUS that overturned.
01:52:28.660 So you're punishing SCOTUS.
01:52:30.800 I'm not punishing.
01:52:31.900 Okay.
01:52:32.500 It's like an act of protest.
01:52:35.200 Okay.
01:52:35.660 It is an act of protest.
01:52:37.500 I see.
01:52:38.720 That she's voluntarily doing herself.
01:52:41.180 Yeah.
01:52:41.940 Okay.
01:52:43.320 And so the.
01:52:43.740 We sort of, in our defense, I think we all feel really helpless in this situation.
01:52:48.220 Yeah.
01:52:48.380 And anything that we can do is doing something.
01:52:50.900 Yeah.
01:52:51.680 Sure.
01:52:53.320 Any thoughts?
01:52:54.460 I don't know.
01:52:54.740 It's just like having the possibility of putting yourself at that risk.
01:52:58.560 Like you don't want to.
01:53:00.000 Exactly.
01:53:00.660 But do you feel that way too with her?
01:53:02.840 Do you agree with her?
01:53:04.060 As far as like, would you do a sex strike?
01:53:07.320 Are you scared?
01:53:08.320 I'm not currently like regularly having sex to anyone, but if I was, I would definitely think
01:53:13.180 about how I can minimize and how I can be like protected.
01:53:20.820 Okay.
01:53:21.360 To the maximum extent.
01:53:22.620 Because like, yeah.
01:53:23.620 Even though nothing's changed in California.
01:53:26.740 I'm from Arizona.
01:53:28.180 So when I go back.
01:53:30.420 When you go back.
01:53:30.980 That shit might not fly.
01:53:32.180 And there might be a nice little cowboy, you know, in Arizona.
01:53:36.500 Okay.
01:53:37.120 I see.
01:53:38.100 I'm just saying like in Arizona that it might not be as liberal.
01:53:41.180 Is it repealed?
01:53:42.460 Is it?
01:53:43.460 What is this situation in Arizona?
01:53:45.260 Yeah, I don't really know what the status is in Arizona, but I think it's definitely not
01:53:49.700 very liberal there, so.
01:53:52.200 Yeah.
01:53:52.640 I think, did it, I feel like, is it a flips?
01:53:56.080 Yeah, I think it was red and then it was blue.
01:53:58.840 Samantha, did you give your take on this?
01:54:02.180 No comment.
01:54:03.620 No comment?
01:54:04.700 No comment.
01:54:05.920 Okay.
01:54:06.640 Interesting.
01:54:07.500 Interesting.
01:54:08.520 Yeah, so, but so I'm still kind of curious about the sex strike thing.
01:54:14.620 So do you think that like other women should have a sex strike and just not, because of
01:54:20.100 Roe v. Wade being overturned, just, hey, sorry buddy.
01:54:23.700 If they're in a relationship, just no more sex.
01:54:26.460 Or additional precautions.
01:54:29.660 What was the question?
01:54:32.180 Uh, so you, you said that when Roe v. Wade got overturned, you're like, you told your
01:54:36.460 boyfriend, hey, I, because of Roe v. Wade being overturned, I don't want to have sex.
01:54:41.000 Mm.
01:54:41.980 Mm-hmm.
01:54:43.060 So.
01:54:43.980 Yeah, I mean, have you ever paid for a plan B for a girl?
01:54:46.880 It's $50.
01:54:48.360 Hold up, let me see what I got in here.
01:54:50.040 No, that's okay.
01:54:51.020 I have, it's an option two.
01:54:55.360 Chris, can you zoom in on that?
01:54:58.520 It's maybe a bit overexposed.
01:55:00.220 I have an option two.
01:55:01.000 That's the off brand.
01:55:02.280 Yeah.
01:55:02.820 Plan B.
01:55:03.760 But just in case, you know, just in case.
01:55:06.740 But, um, I, yeah, I think I've paid for a plan B before.
01:55:12.140 Yeah.
01:55:12.640 Yeah.
01:55:15.000 Um.
01:55:15.600 By the way, we can talk about uncomfortable topics.
01:55:18.600 Yeah.
01:55:18.940 I think, I've seen a lot of the comments being like, oh, like, she thinks not having sex
01:55:23.120 with her boyfriend is, like, gonna affect SCOTUS.
01:55:25.380 Like, it's not about that.
01:55:28.520 It's about doing something, like, like what Coco said.
01:55:32.480 It's about doing something.
01:55:33.620 And that's like, I'm not gonna go into it, but that's not the only thing I'm doing.
01:55:37.780 Like.
01:55:38.380 Sure.
01:55:39.020 Yeah.
01:55:39.280 There's many levels to ways that you can speak out and act against such a thing, like the
01:55:46.100 government thing.
01:55:48.040 Okay.
01:55:48.720 Shitty.
01:55:50.380 I really like that question.
01:55:53.160 We'll pull up the question, Chris.
01:55:56.360 Okay.
01:55:57.080 Steven Krug, $5 Super Chat.
01:55:58.780 Will the Roe v. Wade overturn to help the underpopulation growth crisis or hurt it?
01:56:05.240 Seem like there's frequently less people having babies.
01:56:08.200 I mean, that's a very multifaceted question.
01:56:10.840 Right.
01:56:11.440 And, I mean, obviously, Roe v. Wade only applies to the United States, which is a small proportion
01:56:17.080 of the world.
01:56:19.140 And so, I mean, and also, in addition to Roe v. Wade being overturned, it's not.
01:56:25.380 Some states still, you can still get an abortion in some states.
01:56:28.320 So, long term, I don't think it'll have a huge impact on underpopulation, but I'm happy
01:56:38.420 to turn it to the panel and if they want to give their take.
01:56:41.240 This is just my opinion, but I think that it could potentially hurt it just because a lot
01:56:46.980 of women are going to be forced to have these children, even if they don't want to, due
01:56:51.720 to the state that they live in.
01:56:53.000 And, yeah, I mean, unless they have the money to go somewhere where they can get an abortion,
01:57:01.240 even if it's not safe, you know, then other people are going to be forced to have children
01:57:07.220 that, you know, they necessarily might not have wanted to have or the instance just was
01:57:14.440 a little fucked up and they just didn't want to have a child with that person, but they still
01:57:18.880 wanted to have a child.
01:57:19.620 So, it could potentially hurt the growth crisis.
01:57:27.420 Okay.
01:57:28.020 Samantha?
01:57:28.400 Yeah, I could definitely see it going a few ways.
01:57:35.800 Maybe people would become more intentional and then they would be, you know, they'd be
01:57:42.400 clearer about who they're connecting with and that could, I don't know, that could make
01:57:48.600 the whole sexual connection, like, more intentional overall or people could just refuse to have
01:57:55.780 sex and that would definitely hurt the population.
01:57:59.760 Or there's option three.
01:58:01.120 People can start to learn Tantra and the male can actually reabsorb the sperm up and women
01:58:09.240 can have a much better understanding of, like, when they're ovulating or when they're not
01:58:14.000 and that's just, like, deeper body awareness.
01:58:19.560 Okay.
01:58:20.380 Brooke?
01:58:23.660 What was the question?
01:58:26.240 So.
01:58:27.740 Oh, yes.
01:58:28.640 I don't know enough to say anything constructive about, or, like, to respond to that.
01:58:41.160 So, I'm not sure.
01:58:44.860 Going off of what Coco said, forcing people to do certain things, I think, can also lead
01:58:51.920 to, like, mental health issues, which also can lead to death.
01:58:55.580 So, it could possibly overturn the underpopulation growth if people choose to take, like, the unsafe
01:59:02.940 route and things like that.
01:59:05.480 Okay.
01:59:06.320 Right.
01:59:07.280 Cool.
01:59:08.280 Let's see here.
01:59:09.800 So, where were we before we got onto this Roe v. Wade thing?
01:59:18.480 Can I tell you that?
01:59:19.480 Chris, can you pull back up the chart?
01:59:21.920 Yeah, we were on the chart.
01:59:25.160 So, I think it would be curious to know, like, certainly how this has changed since 2018.
01:59:35.160 It's maybe increased a little bit, but.
01:59:40.460 Is this in the U.S.?
01:59:42.560 I'm not sure.
01:59:45.200 I assume it's a poll that was taken within the U.S.
01:59:49.780 So, yeah.
01:59:55.360 Let's see.
01:59:58.600 Can you show, Chris, can you switch to the next tab?
02:00:02.980 Yes.
02:00:03.220 So, this is another one.
02:00:08.100 This is from OkCupid.
02:00:10.480 Number of messages received versus recipients' attractiveness.
02:00:14.880 It might be a bit too big.
02:00:18.020 Chris, can you try to mouse over it and just, I think if you control mouse wheel, it'll zoom
02:00:24.300 it.
02:00:25.480 So, the blue.
02:00:26.460 Oh, a little, a little, a little bigger, Chris.
02:00:31.100 Okay.
02:00:31.740 So, fortunately, we're, our screen's kind of blocking a little bit.
02:00:36.920 But so, and this is on the dating app, OkCupid.
02:00:40.200 And it's measuring female recipients versus male recipients.
02:00:45.720 So, you'll see the male recipients line on the very bottom there.
02:00:49.200 And so, basically, what you have is most attractive men are getting about the same messages as the
02:01:00.880 medium attractiveness woman there, it looks like.
02:01:05.220 And then the most attractive women are just getting a ton flooded of messages.
02:01:12.260 And then I think, is there one more, Chris?
02:01:16.620 One more chart.
02:01:18.520 Can you scroll, scroll out on this one?
02:01:21.660 So, this is, again, from OkCupid.
02:01:24.080 And this is, I guess, a study that they had done.
02:01:27.040 I'm not sure the year on it, but how men rate women versus how women rate men on OkCupid.
02:01:33.380 And you'll see that it's, there's a pretty even distribution there on the top.
02:01:38.740 And so, the top one is how men rate women.
02:01:43.320 And the bottom one is how women rate men.
02:01:46.360 So, that's an interesting one.
02:01:47.640 Would you guys agree, like, of the guys that you see on dating apps, like,
02:01:52.820 vast majority of the men you do not think are attractive?
02:01:57.800 We'll start with Coco.
02:02:00.020 I've never used a dating app, genuinely.
02:02:03.520 I've made a dating app for a pineapple once.
02:02:07.640 What's a pineapple?
02:02:08.740 An actual pineapple.
02:02:10.200 Like, a dating app for a pineapple.
02:02:11.040 Like, I literally, like, put the profile picture as a pineapple.
02:02:15.780 I've just never taken that seriously.
02:02:18.040 So, I wouldn't know.
02:02:21.560 Samantha?
02:02:23.720 Yeah.
02:02:24.480 I feel like I haven't been too serious on them.
02:02:27.340 But I do feel like majority, like, wouldn't be people that I would be dating.
02:02:32.980 Not majority, but, I don't know.
02:02:35.680 I think there's, I mean, Hinge is actually pretty good, I think.
02:02:38.740 But when I did the Facebook dating app, like, that was, like, not great.
02:02:43.940 Facebook isn't good.
02:02:44.700 I thought you were going to say good.
02:02:46.000 I mean, it is good because it's, like, a bigger pool.
02:02:48.560 But it's not good because it's, like, a lot to filter through, I think.
02:02:52.300 Like, yeah, I mean, I think you know what you're looking for.
02:02:58.660 So, it just depends on what kind of people are on each different app.
02:03:03.300 Because I think Tinder has a certain sort of user pool.
02:03:09.700 And Bumble and Hinge are a little more serious.
02:03:13.100 I forget what the initial question was again.
02:03:18.060 But, what was the question?
02:03:20.060 The dating apps.
02:03:21.220 Like, the chart that we saw.
02:03:22.620 Yeah.
02:03:22.860 Like, of the men that you see on dating apps.
02:03:24.640 Oh, right.
02:03:25.180 The ratings.
02:03:25.660 Like, what percentage of men would you say you swipe left on versus you swipe right?
02:03:29.320 That's another way to.
02:03:30.000 Very, very low.
02:03:31.660 Okay.
02:03:31.940 Very low.
02:03:32.600 And that's just personal preference.
02:03:35.720 And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
02:03:39.620 Okay.
02:03:40.960 Big D.
02:03:43.160 Yeah.
02:03:43.740 I definitely swipe left way more than swiping right.
02:03:46.500 And I think that is one thing I realized about dating apps is that you just get so, you look at the pictures mostly.
02:03:56.060 And if you're not attracted to them, like, physically, you're going to swipe left.
02:04:00.420 But, whereas, people that I've met in person, and I definitely would say I'm more of, like, friends to dating rather than, like, strangers to dating, you know?
02:04:09.940 I would prefer friends to dating.
02:04:12.200 And so, people that I meet in person, if they're not as attractive but their personality makes up for it, I think it can definitely make someone look way more attractive.
02:04:23.060 And that's the thing about dating sites, I feel like.
02:04:27.300 You just base it off of physical traits first.
02:04:31.020 And you kind of miss out on the ones that are maybe not as attractive but has a golden personality.
02:04:36.520 Got it.
02:04:37.360 Got it.
02:04:37.940 So, as far as kind of bringing this back to one of the initial questions is, like, who's having more sex, men or women?
02:04:45.600 My take would be, I mean, my take is that I think it's women who are having more sex than men.
02:04:51.800 There's that graph there.
02:04:53.480 I think it's harder for men to get sex.
02:04:55.940 I think, and one thing you can look at that I think kind of would suggest that this is the case, if guys were getting more consistent sex, they probably wouldn't need, feel the need to go to the strip club.
02:05:10.040 They wouldn't need to pay for OnlyFans, for porn, all this stuff.
02:05:13.800 I totally disagree with you.
02:05:15.180 You disagree.
02:05:15.720 That's totally fine.
02:05:16.700 Feel free to disagree.
02:05:18.120 I'm happy to hear your take.
02:05:19.320 What do you disagree?
02:05:20.900 I think people supporting sex work is like totally different from them like actually having sex with a partner, if that makes sense.
02:05:30.520 So, I'm not saying that a man can't consume sex or, sorry, can't consume porn or can't go to the strip club and also be sexually active.
02:05:39.760 But what I'm saying is, is that these things would be in much less demand if I think men were having more sex or had an easier time getting sex.
02:05:51.620 Because if you were just having sex, I mean, not to say that people don't watch porn when they're, guys don't watch porn if they're dating a girl, but I think it would be much further reduced, especially OnlyFans.
02:06:05.080 You can disagree.
02:06:06.160 I totally disagree.
02:06:06.900 Feel free to disagree.
02:06:08.160 If you think.
02:06:08.980 I think I watch more porn now that I'm in a relationship and like, than I did when I wasn't in one.
02:06:16.480 Well, is that because of the sex strike though?
02:06:18.740 No.
02:06:21.460 Yeah.
02:06:22.880 I just think discovering like people putting content out there and they're like looking to make a living off of it.
02:06:31.380 They're looking to like gain an audience off of like their bodies is like totally acceptable.
02:06:36.900 And I think it should be supported by anyone, regardless of like if you're having sex with someone or not.
02:06:43.900 Like I think sex work is super important.
02:06:46.040 Well, I'm, I'm not saying that sex work is bad.
02:06:50.320 I'm just saying that men wouldn't turn to it to, you know, to going to strip clubs, paying for porn, paying for OnlyFans if they had more access to sex.
02:07:03.920 Because one of the things that, are you familiar with OnlyFans?
02:07:07.600 Yes, of course.
02:07:08.540 Do you have one or?
02:07:10.260 Not on my, no, I don't.
02:07:11.600 Okay, so one of the, I think components of OnlyFans is guys who maybe they just, they can't get a girlfriend, they can't get a relationship.
02:07:19.680 They turn to that because there is a component of OnlyFans, which it's not just about the nude photos, but it's the interaction.
02:07:29.920 And a lot of guys don't have that interaction.
02:07:32.180 And, you know, we had some strippers on last show.
02:07:35.920 Two of the girls were strippers.
02:07:36.900 And, you know, they report that a lot of guys come, and it's not even so much about a physical thing.
02:07:44.760 It's about, they want to talk.
02:07:46.980 They want to have a conversation.
02:07:48.020 They want to have a connection, even if, no, it's serious.
02:07:51.140 It's legit.
02:07:51.960 It's, I mean, you can laugh, but like, me personally, I'm not a, I don't really go to strip clubs.
02:07:56.640 I went like twice a decade ago out of curiosity.
02:08:01.520 But there are guys that will go to strip clubs to try to have a connection with a woman because they just, they either don't have any real, not all guys.
02:08:10.180 There's certainly guys that are married, they go to strip clubs, whatever.
02:08:13.560 But there are those guys that seek out, they want that connection with a woman, and they go to a strip club to get it.
02:08:20.800 It might not be the best way to do it, but.
02:08:23.640 I mean, yeah, maybe some people go for that.
02:08:25.880 I don't know.
02:08:27.520 I don't, maybe I don't know of enough guys to have any opinion.
02:08:32.220 Someone said, ooh, L for boyfriend.
02:08:34.560 Actually, it's definitely a win for him, so you can shut the bucket.
02:08:40.700 But so, I guess, like, what, what, what specifically do you, do you disagree with?
02:08:47.740 Um, I mean, I think I've already said it.
02:08:50.640 Like, I think it's a whole, I mean, I guess, yeah, people are looking for connections, but it's also sort of like an art.
02:08:57.520 Maybe as a woman, I understand it a little bit better than, like, the way that we're, like, showing off our body.
02:09:05.300 Like, I don't know.
02:09:07.040 I don't have an opinion, I guess.
02:09:11.240 No, it's, by the way, if any of you disagree with anything I say, I'm not going to be offended.
02:09:16.380 I think it's totally okay to disagree with you.
02:09:17.800 I just, I guess I can't predict if, like, men were getting more sex, if, like, there would be less men going to strip clubs.
02:09:24.260 Like, I guess.
02:09:25.040 Well, can I ask a question?
02:09:26.980 Has any girl at this table ever paid for porn?
02:09:30.960 Paid for porn?
02:09:32.160 Paid for porn.
02:09:32.780 No.
02:09:33.340 Including OnlyFans.
02:09:34.520 Oh, yes.
02:09:35.480 You've paid for OnlyFans?
02:09:36.380 Yes.
02:09:37.140 A girl's OnlyFans or a guy's OnlyFans?
02:09:38.820 A girl's OnlyFans.
02:09:39.820 Okay.
02:09:40.520 Fair enough.
02:09:42.360 Fair enough.
02:09:42.960 So, I would say that as far as it relates to sex work, since we're kind of on that topic, what, Brian Cap, I saw him at the strip club last week.
02:09:58.280 Stop the cap.
02:10:00.540 No, yeah, I'm not a fan of strip clubs.
02:10:03.340 By the way, Will Smith, where's your buddy Bill Gates?
02:10:05.820 Because last show, you and Bill Gates were getting into it, so maybe, I don't know, maybe he's somewhere else.
02:10:14.860 Kind of just to riff on the topic of sex work, do you think it would be okay for a guy to not want to date a girl or take seriously a girl who hadn't OnlyFans or was a stripper?
02:10:30.000 Do you think that's okay?
02:10:30.900 If he was like, you know what?
02:10:32.700 To not respect her?
02:10:34.240 No.
02:10:34.400 To not want to date her.
02:10:38.380 Oh, I mean, whatever people are comfortable with.
02:10:41.820 If that's too risky or uncomfortable for them, then that's totally understandable.
02:10:47.560 Okay.
02:10:48.340 But it goes both ways.
02:10:49.820 Right.
02:10:51.140 But you wouldn't find it objectionable for a guy to say, you know what, if a girl, she did porn, she did OnlyFans, she was a stripper, I don't want to date her.
02:11:03.120 I don't want to take her seriously.
02:11:05.360 We'll take her seriously.
02:11:06.540 That's another thing.
02:11:07.580 But I think people who are in that, like, field have the capability of maintaining a committed relationship.
02:11:14.180 It's just people aren't willing to realize that.
02:11:19.220 Okay.
02:11:19.700 I don't know.
02:11:20.200 It's, you know, people have their preferences.
02:11:22.560 Like, they're more than just partner and partner relationships.
02:11:26.460 There's open relationships.
02:11:27.920 Like, everyone's different.
02:11:29.160 Sure.
02:11:29.300 Everyone needs and wants something different.
02:11:31.400 Yeah.
02:11:31.860 And there's certainly some guys out there, I think, that won't have an issue dating a woman who did porn.
02:11:36.720 Right.
02:11:37.160 Who's a stripper.
02:11:38.000 And it's not an issue for them.
02:11:39.260 But I do think for, I think a good amount of men for a serious relationship, I think they would have an issue.
02:11:48.280 Well, that's on them, to be honest.
02:11:52.420 That's about attachment and commitment issues.
02:11:55.240 No, I don't think it's an insecurity thing.
02:11:57.740 I think it's just a preference.
02:12:00.240 In the same way that, you know, you might have a preference for a guy to meet certain standards, it might be a preference or a standard or boundary for a guy to say, I don't want a girl who is on stage showing her hoo-ha.
02:12:20.960 Or I don't want a girl who's having sex on camera or who even had sex on camera in the past.
02:12:29.600 You can disagree.
02:12:30.660 I do.
02:12:31.240 If you hate me, okay, that's fine.
02:12:32.540 I don't hate you, but I disagree.
02:12:33.740 She doesn't hate me.
02:12:34.020 You disagree.
02:12:34.880 Let's go around the table and just get people's thoughts on this.
02:12:37.340 Coco.
02:12:38.160 I'm sorry, but I have to go.
02:12:39.960 You got to go?
02:12:40.520 Yeah, I have to go.
02:12:41.480 Okay.
02:12:41.920 All right.
02:12:42.320 I will see you guys soon.
02:12:43.660 Bye, Coco.
02:12:43.960 Thank you so much for having me on the show.
02:12:45.560 I really appreciate it.
02:12:45.640 All right.
02:12:46.040 Yeah, no worries.
02:12:46.940 Thank you for coming.
02:12:48.360 Thank you for coming.
02:12:49.340 All righty.
02:12:49.760 Thank you guys so much.
02:12:50.740 See ya.
02:12:51.140 Hope to see you guys soon.
02:12:52.160 Bye-bye.
02:12:55.060 Okay.
02:12:55.880 We're down to three.
02:12:59.040 So, Samantha, do you want to answer the question?
02:13:02.580 Can you repeat the question?
02:13:05.220 Yeah, yeah.
02:13:05.760 So, would you take issue or object to a guy having a problem with a girl's past in terms
02:13:17.960 of if she's had an OnlyFans, if she's had, she did porn, et cetera?
02:13:25.380 Well, I think, you know, I feel like when you're picking your partner, it's like, what
02:13:31.420 are they spending their days doing?
02:13:33.380 Are you on the same vibe?
02:13:35.020 You know?
02:13:35.340 I feel like that's kind of just, like, normal.
02:13:38.220 I don't necessarily know if it's just because the woman's doing that.
02:13:43.120 Like, because I think some guys might love that, you know?
02:13:45.760 Some guys might be like, oh, my gosh, like, I love that my girlfriend does that, you know?
02:13:50.720 And there's other people that would just trigger all of their jealousy or insecurities and just
02:13:57.080 probably wouldn't be an appropriate relationship for that person, but maybe it would be amazing
02:14:01.620 for someone else, you know?
02:14:03.780 And I think you kind of already answered that, Big D.
02:14:09.700 Yeah.
02:14:11.240 I kind of, I don't know, because I feel like in a way you want to, if you don't, I guess
02:14:21.620 it is different to have respect for someone and then if they would be, like, a dating partner.
02:14:27.460 So, yeah, I guess it's more of a preference.
02:14:30.500 Like, I guess there would be some occupations that I wouldn't want, like, my boyfriend to
02:14:35.600 be or things like that.
02:14:36.960 So, as long as you don't have, like, you don't look down on someone or, like, disrespect them
02:14:42.120 for the job that they have or how they make their money.
02:14:46.300 Sure.
02:14:46.960 Yeah, I guess so.
02:14:48.240 And you mentioned that, like, there would maybe be some jobs that you wouldn't want your
02:14:52.720 long-term partner to have.
02:14:54.840 Yeah.
02:14:55.140 I'm trying to think of, like, what would be, but maybe if it was more just, like, a stability
02:15:05.040 thing, like, maybe if he's, like, a freelancer or something and it's not, like, very reliable,
02:15:09.460 maybe something like that.
02:15:10.840 Like, I probably wouldn't prefer to have a partner that is a freelancer, I guess.
02:15:17.960 Okay.
02:15:18.220 There's no problem with being a freelancer, though.
02:15:20.220 A guy who's a freelancer, like, a journalist or just photographer?
02:15:24.200 Or just, like, I guess it doesn't have, like, it has different gigs, I guess.
02:15:27.400 Okay.
02:15:27.920 Like a hustle culture type thing?
02:15:29.960 Not, like, a stable job.
02:15:31.280 Got it.
02:15:31.980 Okay.
02:15:32.820 Very interesting.
02:15:33.500 Very interesting.
02:15:34.500 We're going to wrap up here pretty soon.
02:15:36.200 I know we've got a super chat, Chris.
02:15:37.780 Why don't we just read that and then we'll wrap up.
02:15:39.640 If you guys want to have one last question to ask the panel, feel free to get your super
02:15:44.620 chats in.
02:15:45.120 Shia Lucera, that's your friend, right?
02:15:47.940 That's my friend.
02:15:48.500 Boys who get hung up on sex work are cringe.
02:15:51.420 420.
02:15:52.060 Ayo.
02:15:53.760 420.
02:15:54.360 Thank you, Shia, for the 420.
02:15:58.420 Appropriate.
02:15:59.300 Super chat.
02:16:00.880 Let's go, Shia.
02:16:01.860 What is that?
02:16:03.740 So, I mean, does the panel agree?
02:16:06.520 I know, Brooke, you probably agree with this statement.
02:16:08.580 Hung up on sex work?
02:16:10.020 Well, I'm literally listening to a murder podcast right now where he's, like, literally, like,
02:16:14.640 kills sex workers, which is not just cringe, but fucking awful.
02:16:21.420 But, yeah, I think I agree with that.
02:16:25.780 I have a friend who brags about how he gets, like, free premium OnlyFans content from being
02:16:33.080 on, like, dating apps, like being on Bumble, and people will just kind of, like, throw it
02:16:37.440 at him.
02:16:37.880 Um, it is, it is very cringe.
02:16:41.800 Samantha, agree with this statement or disagree?
02:16:44.420 Um, no comment.
02:16:47.020 No comment?
02:16:48.060 Like, hung up if you mean.
02:16:49.320 Yeah, I'm not sure what, well, hung up on sex work.
02:16:52.380 I would think of it as, like, some of these comments here that are, like, I would never.
02:16:57.680 Or, like, betas are for, I don't fucking know.
02:17:01.420 Like, shit like that.
02:17:02.560 Like, yeah, like, don't be like that.
02:17:04.120 But, yeah, I mean.
02:17:06.380 If you're, like, open-minded, cool.
02:17:08.080 But, like.
02:17:09.080 Right.
02:17:09.800 If you're just, like, absolutely not because she's a sex worker, like, come on.
02:17:13.800 She's a person.
02:17:15.240 But I guess we have to sort of figure out hung up in what sense.
02:17:20.480 Like, is that, is that just in response to, like, some guys would have an issue dating
02:17:25.200 a woman who did sex work?
02:17:26.960 Um, I think it's that they don't date women because they live their whole sex life online.
02:17:34.940 Maybe.
02:17:36.300 The men or the women live their whole sex life online?
02:17:39.740 Like, the guys.
02:17:40.320 Like, they literally, like, that's kind of what an incel is.
02:17:43.700 They, like, just kind of live online and don't actually communicate with real life.
02:17:48.920 Yeah.
02:17:49.160 Like.
02:17:50.240 But, I mean, most women aren't sex workers, though.
02:17:52.500 No, I know, but they kind of live their sex life, like, through their computer screen
02:18:00.040 because they think that, like, paying for all this premium content is, like, them, like,
02:18:06.360 getting, like, actual attention.
02:18:11.280 It's, yeah.
02:18:12.400 But, like, I mean, but also, I mean, all these sex workers, like, what a blessing, right?
02:18:16.860 Because it's, like, they release so much pressure for all of these men.
02:18:21.480 And it's, like, if we didn't have them, who knows what else would be going on, you know?
02:18:27.220 It's, like, why put all the stigma on something that's just touch and pleasurable, you know?
02:18:33.020 I think that there's just caked on religious programming around sexuality.
02:18:39.040 And, but actually, it's, you're just having a deep connection with somebody.
02:18:43.260 Obviously, like, you know, they get very dramatic or whatever in that.
02:18:47.460 But, you know, it's just art.
02:18:50.280 It's just expression.
02:18:53.720 So, wait, you think that there, so you don't think that a guy having a problem,
02:19:02.780 like, dating a woman who's at, who's done porn, done sex work, done OnlyFans,
02:19:08.920 like, so you're not okay with it or you think it's cringe if a guy, like, has an issue with it?
02:19:16.060 For someone he dates.
02:19:17.140 Yeah, I think I just said it.
02:19:18.560 It's, like, I mean, the person can decide if he wants to date this person or not.
02:19:25.560 But I just mean, like, celebrating the women that do do sex work because it's, like, a really big job, you know?
02:19:31.680 So, I think I'm just saying both.
02:19:34.480 Yeah.
02:19:34.700 I don't think that women should be, like, necessarily shamed for doing sex work or anything.
02:19:41.600 But I do think that in the same way that women are allowed to have preferences, standards, boundaries,
02:19:49.080 I think men are totally within their right to say, hey, I wouldn't want to have her look.
02:19:55.700 I think she should be free to do it.
02:19:57.980 I have nothing against it.
02:19:59.140 But as far as what I'd want in a partner, I wouldn't want to date, have a long-term relationship with a girl who did porn, did sex work.
02:20:08.900 So, I don't know if it's, when you say hung up on sex work or cringe, I mean, I don't know if hung up,
02:20:18.300 I think it's actually a perfectly reasonable stance for a guy to say, hey, I just don't want to date a woman who has done sex work.
02:20:29.720 It's not necessarily a judgment on sex work, but as far as what you want in a partner, I think it's a pretty reasonable thing.
02:20:38.100 But I think if everything is absolutely perfect with the person and the only reason you don't want to date them is because they're a sex worker,
02:20:47.840 I think that is the result of stigma of sex work.
02:20:53.680 Is it? I mean, so...
02:20:57.340 It's like you don't want to date them because you look down on sex work.
02:21:01.560 If she is perfect in every way and the only reason you don't want to date her is because she's a sex worker.
02:21:08.960 I mean, couldn't it...
02:21:10.960 I guess there's varying levels of sex work, right?
02:21:13.900 Like, I think it'd be perfectly reasonable if the girl you're talking to, she's an active porn actress,
02:21:21.580 and that means she's fucking other men.
02:21:23.460 I think it's perfectly reasonable as a guy to say, I enjoy monogamy.
02:21:28.020 I would not be comfortable with you sleeping with other men while we're intimate.
02:21:35.820 I see what you're saying, but I also do think in her eyes, obviously, this is my opinion, too.
02:21:42.280 In her eyes, like, she's not in a relationship with those people.
02:21:46.280 It's her job.
02:21:46.940 But she's having sex with...
02:21:50.080 So you're saying a monogamy-sexual relationship?
02:21:53.380 I mean, most monogamous relationships, when we speak about monogamy, we are speaking kind of the holistic.
02:21:59.440 We're speaking sexually when we're speaking about monogamous relationships.
02:22:04.200 I see.
02:22:04.400 I mean, certainly there's an emotional component.
02:22:06.360 Like, if you're flirting with a guy, you're not having sex with him, that could be considered cheating.
02:22:10.820 But, I mean, I think that's sort of the ultimate way cheating would manifest itself, at least as viewed by men.
02:22:19.880 If you're in a monogamous relationship with a girl and she's sleeping with other men, you're not really in a monogamous relationship.
02:22:26.620 Eh, it's just her job.
02:22:28.160 See, that's, I think, the difference.
02:22:29.480 No, no, no, no.
02:22:30.000 But, I think, I mean, what else is it?
02:22:33.360 I don't really think she's emotionally invested in it.
02:22:36.360 But it's not about being emotionally invested.
02:22:38.300 It's about...
02:22:38.920 It's the physical part of it.
02:22:41.220 Yeah, I mean, she's sleeping with...
02:22:45.920 She's having sex with somebody else.
02:22:47.920 So she's not really committed to you.
02:22:52.740 Then I guess at that point, they're just not the right people for each other.
02:22:56.580 She loves what she's doing.
02:22:59.040 And he can't stand that.
02:23:01.660 At that point, it's kind of like, why would you be together?
02:23:05.520 But you think that it would be okay if you're in a monogamous relationship, but she's a porn...
02:23:12.120 She does porn.
02:23:13.340 It's okay if she's sleeping with another dude.
02:23:18.340 At that point, it's not really a monogamous relationship, is it?
02:23:21.320 I think they would, they themselves, as this actress or the porn star, would find it to just strictly be her job.
02:23:33.520 Like, as their profession, I think.
02:23:36.380 Okay.
02:23:36.780 So to them, it wouldn't be a threat to their relationship.
02:23:40.980 But so would there be an expectation on the guy to not sleep with other women?
02:23:47.300 He's not a porn star.
02:23:48.400 Okay.
02:23:48.780 Because that's not his job.
02:23:50.140 Yeah.
02:23:50.560 He's not making money from it.
02:23:51.640 But so what you're saying is that she's a porn star.
02:23:54.020 She's sleeping with other people.
02:23:56.020 But it's not emotional.
02:23:57.320 What if it's not emotional for him, but he's not a porn star?
02:23:59.620 Under those circumstances, would it be okay?
02:24:03.560 I also think it's like, also, if you think about it, it's a job, and he's not doing it as a job.
02:24:08.780 Like, this supports her, her life.
02:24:12.560 Like, that's her way of income.
02:24:14.480 I understand that.
02:24:15.300 And if the guy knows going in, like, but it's not going to, as far as I'm concerned, it's not a monogamous relationship.
02:24:24.840 Mono, one.
02:24:25.860 Like, it's just not, it can't be a monogamous relationship.
02:24:28.680 It could be perhaps unilateral.
02:24:31.760 It could be unilaterally, like, she's sleeping with all these other guys.
02:24:37.540 He's loyal to her.
02:24:39.000 I mean, I suppose that, I don't think that's a great scenario for the guy, but.
02:24:46.020 I think it's all about emotional maturity.
02:24:49.420 I think if he can handle it, that's so great, awesome.
02:24:53.380 If he can't, then what's the point of, like, being jealous or, like, being salty about her doing her job?
02:25:02.480 There's no point.
02:25:03.840 She's doing her job.
02:25:04.920 She's making her money.
02:25:06.040 She can support herself.
02:25:06.960 But do you think that a guy who wouldn't want to date a woman.
02:25:15.240 Then he just shouldn't do it.
02:25:17.120 But do you think he's emotionally immature?
02:25:20.320 I don't know.
02:25:20.940 I wouldn't be willing to date a woman who was actively, you know, sleeping with other men for her porn career.
02:25:29.660 I think it's fine to say I would never date someone that was a porn star.
02:25:33.040 Okay.
02:25:33.520 That's fine.
02:25:34.180 Yeah.
02:25:34.420 But if you're going to get jealous about it, if you enter a relationship and then get, like, upset about it, then that's your problem to deal with.
02:25:42.400 Of course.
02:25:42.980 I mean, if she's disclosed that she does porn, you kind of, it's what you're signing up for, you know.
02:25:48.740 You can't really, you know, say, hey, I didn't know this was going to be the case.
02:25:54.820 Like, so we got some interesting comments coming through.
02:25:58.280 Chris, we're going to wrap up the show here in just a couple minutes.
02:26:01.340 Chris, can you just pull up the few super chats we received?
02:26:04.680 Yes, yes.
02:26:06.020 We have a super chat here from someone that wants to know a little more about you, Brian.
02:26:10.560 Brian, I watched Mr. Mojo Ryzen.
02:26:14.560 Thank you for the $5 super chat.
02:26:16.440 Really appreciate the support.
02:26:17.380 Thank you.
02:26:18.320 Brian, I watched you a lot back in high school around 2013.
02:26:20.820 You gave me a lot of laughs, man.
02:26:22.180 What's the details about your new talk show?
02:26:25.980 So we actually did our first interview podcast yesterday.
02:26:30.280 I had a ex-convict, ex-gang member on, did a really cool in-depth interview with him.
02:26:38.260 His name's Brandon, really good guy.
02:26:41.280 Well, no, he's a good guy.
02:26:43.260 He's a good guy.
02:26:44.420 Sorry, guys, I'm kind of zapped.
02:26:46.820 We've been at this for almost three hours now.
02:26:49.460 So once a week, I'm going to be doing an interview show, bring on an interesting guest, one-on-one,
02:26:55.100 have a long-form conversation.
02:26:56.380 And then I'm doing this dating talk show, which will be like twice a week.
02:27:00.340 And yeah, I would just bring on a panel and just shoot the shit about dating for a little bit.
02:27:04.500 Do you want to know about your sister?
02:27:06.760 Oh, God.
02:27:07.640 Also curious about your sister.
02:27:09.700 He also asked, thank you, by the way, for the $2 super chat.
02:27:13.360 Also, your sister was a babe.
02:27:16.120 How's she doing?
02:27:17.100 So I'm assuming you're talking about Andrea.
02:27:19.820 So Andrea was not my sister.
02:27:21.120 A lot of people thought Andrea was my sister, but honestly, I haven't talked to Andrea in like six, seven years now.
02:27:32.640 I think she's doing good.
02:27:34.100 I'm not sure exactly what she's doing.
02:27:37.000 But yeah, I haven't really spoken to her.
02:27:38.780 We had a bit of a falling out.
02:27:40.960 So I think that's it, Chris, with the super chats.
02:27:44.760 We have some Twitch activities.
02:27:46.880 Yeah, let's pull up Twitch real quick.
02:27:48.600 Okay, can you just scroll down?
02:27:56.940 I want to make sure.
02:27:57.920 Okay, scroll back up all the way to the top.
02:28:01.360 Okay, Munico has subscribed with Prime.
02:28:05.160 Hey, man, Munico, really appreciate the support, man.
02:28:07.720 Thank you for the Twitch Prime.
02:28:09.660 Much appreciated.
02:28:11.400 And you can switch back to the other thing, Chris.
02:28:14.580 By the way, does anyone know why Coco left?
02:28:19.160 Was it getting too heated?
02:28:20.840 She had something with her friends.
02:28:22.580 Something with her friends?
02:28:23.320 She told us in the beginning, too, that she would have to leave.
02:28:24.580 Yeah, but, well, no, it sounded like she, something about getting a ride home or something.
02:28:28.700 I think it was getting a bit too heated for her.
02:28:30.880 That was my impression.
02:28:31.640 I don't know.
02:28:32.140 I think she was on her phone and got a message and needed to go.
02:28:35.160 Yeah, it was a little, yeah, she's on her phone, it's a little abrupt, so I don't know.
02:28:40.740 I think.
02:28:41.220 Maybe someone was watching the live.
02:28:42.660 Yeah, she's like, yo, you got to go.
02:28:45.000 Okay, cool.
02:28:46.880 Anyways, guys, thank you for watching.
02:28:48.860 We have our next show Thursday at 7 p.m. Pacific.
02:28:53.240 So in two days, we're going to be doing another dating talk show.
02:28:57.140 Thank you guys so much for tuning in.
02:28:58.600 Thank you for my panel for tuning in.
02:29:01.920 Much appreciated, or for coming.
02:29:03.600 Sorry, guys, I'm frazzled.
02:29:04.880 Three hours, three-hour podcast.
02:29:07.380 Thank you, guys.
02:29:08.120 7 p.m. Thursday.
02:29:09.460 We'll see you then.
02:29:10.420 Have a good night, guys.
02:29:12.300 Bye.
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