Dating Talk #2
Episode Stats
Length
2 hours and 29 minutes
Words per Minute
164.23314
Summary
In this episode of Whatever Dating Talk, we have our first guest on the show, Brooke! She's a coffee shop manager in Isla Vista, California, and is in a relationship with her best friend, Deana. We talk about how they met, why they started dating, and what it's like being in a long term relationship.
Transcript
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We're coming to you live from Isla Vista, Santa Barbara County, California.
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Thank you to tracysdog.com for the complimentary mannequin, let's just call it.
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This is the Dating Talk podcast where we talk about dating, debauchery, and relationships.
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Shout out to Fresh and Fit for the inspiration.
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We're doing it live, so appreciate your understanding while we're still working out the flow and pacing.
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Also, English is my second language, so please excuse me if I stutter or speak slow.
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A few quick announcements before the show begins.
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All the money I make, I pour back into making videos.
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You know, the studio, Rent and Sound Barber is crazy.
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I'd like to get at least two more cameras, more mics for more guests, better computer.
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We also need a studio intern if you live in Santa Barbara.
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So we're going to have the guests introduce themselves.
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So please tell us your name, age, occupation, or school, major, and relationship status.
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I am 23, and I am a college student, and I am single.
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I just graduated with my bachelor's, and I am in a relationship.
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I live in Santa Barbara, and I am 39 and single.
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Do you want to plug your Instagram or your website?
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Yeah, you can find me at SamanthaLoveBlossom if you want some sparkly awakening codes to
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My Instagram handle is at QueenCocoPuffs with a Z at the end.
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I am majoring in business and entrepreneurship, and I currently work at Los Agaves in Santa Barbara.
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By the way, for those watching, Los Agaves is a really good Mexican restaurant here in Santa Barbara.
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Yeah, one of the top five, I believe, restaurants in Santa Barbara.
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And so you two are single, and you two are currently in a relationship.
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And are they long-term relationships or kind of shorter term?
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I mean, I don't know what you would consider long-term, like time span.
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Yeah, like how long were you guys having been together?
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So the first question of the night, is dating easier for men or for women?
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My opinion is I feel that dating is a little bit harder for men.
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I feel like women have these standards that most men are going to have to uphold to meet
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their standards and to even get into a relationship.
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Meanwhile, men have to definitely pursue a woman if they want her.
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I don't see many women going after men these days, as we should.
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So I feel like men have to put in a lot more effort financially in this economy.
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I mean, I feel like most women, when you go out on the first date, if it's a guy's idea,
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So I feel like there's a financial aspect to that as well.
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I feel like it's harder for men to explain their emotions and for that to come off to
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So I feel like it's a lot for a guy to even be open to a relationship.
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I feel like it's probably the same for both men and women, depending on their mindsets.
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And I think that some women naturally have a mindset that, okay, it's easy to date.
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And I think some men have a natural mindset that it's easy to date.
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I've actually met gentlemen that were not very physically good looking, but they had a really
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And they would just have like women flocking towards them.
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And I've also met very attractive men that didn't have a very good mindset that had a
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So I think from my perspective, it's probably the same.
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It just depends on what this person and what their emotional energetics are.
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So you think about, it's about the same for men and women.
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They both face the same level of difficulty, broadly speaking, when it comes to dating.
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I kind of have like a, well, my like first thought was about like, it also kind of depends
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on like your sexual orientation because there are different like expectations depending
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I think it's easier for them to be open to the idea of like going out without any expectations
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And I think for, you know, from my personal experience as a woman, like it's, it always
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comes across my mind that like, if I don't see this person like fitting into like a big
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part of my life, which would be a committed relationship, then it's not worth my time to
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like keep pursuing someone like that, if that makes sense.
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This is all just from my personal experience, but especially in the sort of like college
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like arena, it's, it's a whole different, like, I guess, playing field when a lot of
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people's mindsets is focused on hookup culture rather than dating, which is fine.
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It's obviously something that you need to experience if you're open to it and can mentally handle
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But I think I've taken the biggest mental toll in dating rather than any of the guys
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I do agree with you that it's certainly different based on your sexual orientation.
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Like I would probably say, well, and it also depends because I think when we say dating,
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Are we talking just casual dating, serious dating?
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I think we can probably say, I would say gay men as far as hooking up.
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I don't have firsthand experience, but I've heard, I've heard, I've heard some stories.
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If there's any gay men in the chat, feel free to, maybe we could rank it.
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So maybe for lesbian women, maybe that shit's, I don't know how that gets navigated.
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Those relationships are very like, um, like let's move in together.
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Well, I just like know, know like people and they're, you know, they're like, I'm the
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You know, I've like, I've always dating people.
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Like I always end up like living with them very quickly.
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But of course I don't know anything firsthand, so I can't really say much more.
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It kind of depends on like what your expectation is and what your standards are, I guess, in
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I know I hear all the time from my friends that I'm like super picky.
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It's like, I'm choosing to not go for some of these men because my expectations are not
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Um, I guess I just want to be like treated really well.
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And like what you brought up about hookup culture, like that, especially like dating in college.
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I think dating is easier for men because girls are, I feel like more open to relationships
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Whereas guys, I mean, yeah, guys are more about like during college who they, like their
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body count and like how many girls they want to get with and things like that.
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So you, so you think it's, you agree with Samantha.
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You think that it's about the same level of difficulty.
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But you said you've faced quite a bit of difficulty with dating.
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And you, and is that because you said it's, you're, you're very picky and what, and can
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I think some of it has to do with like me, myself and like my emotional capacity.
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I don't know if I have reached the point where I can be really like open and vulnerable and
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super intimate with another person, especially that being a man.
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But I feel like guys, a lot of times can kind of like fit into work, like being in a relationship
00:11:53.220
with their partner because they're kind of like, not as, I haven't met that many guys
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Like certain standards that they're like, if they're not this, no.
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So most guys have no standards is what you're saying.
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Like I saw in your last episode, you asked about bad boys.
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And I feel like I want like a really nice guy, but like it can't just be like a boring,
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But I also don't want a guy that's like, I know my worth and like, I don't want to be
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And where I am especially too, like in college, I feel like boys haven't reached that maturity
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So you think that when men are younger, they're kind of commitment averse, whereas when maybe
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they get out of college, they get a bit older, then they're more open to a relationship.
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So do you think that there's a guy that was interested in you that would have been ready
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to be in a relationship with you right then and there, but he didn't meet your standards?
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Um, I feel like maybe we didn't get too far to where like I wanted to commit, but like
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in that case, in that case, I just wanted to maybe like take things slower and like he
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So in my point of view, like if you don't want that, then I'm not going to give you
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Um, definitely like a nice guy that has like good morals and values and things like
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So like they could be like adventurous, but they don't have to play.
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And when you say boring, do you mean like they have hobbies or do you mean like they're
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I guess it can't just be like, let me take you out.
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I guess like there has to be some sort of like ups and downs.
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And do you think that, uh, I feel like nice guys aren't capable of eliciting that though,
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that you want to come in, by the way, if one of you wants to come in on something, you feel
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Um, so I, I feel like what you're actually wanting is when someone is a genuine, like genuinely
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nice guy versus like when they're creating obligations inside of their system.
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So if they're not being genuine, like, and they're just being like a robotic nice, like
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that's not actually going to like lay you up, you know?
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But if they're, if they're like genuinely like into you and like, I think that is going
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I think I recently found out I was a Leo Venus.
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My mom taught me all about it when I was growing up.
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So is there like a guy who, if he's a Taurus, no, I will not date a Taurus.
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So are there other signs that are off limits for dating?
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I feel like Aquarius men are just kind of known for the toxicity.
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I'm not talking from personal experience, but that's just what I'm going to tell you.
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And for, and for her, and for her, if Venus is like in her, in Leo, then she needs someone
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that's going to like honor her, maybe like take her out to really fancy restaurants.
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Like she needs to feel like really pampered, you know, like, because it's important for
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And that's actually going to like light, light, light you up basically.
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So I think the consensus, well, there's not a consensus yet.
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Did you say you think men have it a bit harder?
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I know you two thought it was about, about even, about equal.
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I think it, it, there's no, I don't think there's a solid answer.
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Certainly like there could be a guy who's, has no issues and a woman who's struggling
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I think broadly speaking, generally speaking, do you think, what, are you leaning in a certain
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I just say, you know, per person, it's different.
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So I guess, let me add a question to this that, and, and this is a big component of dating.
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Who do you think has an easier time getting laid?
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It's okay if you, it's okay to disagree with the rest of the panel.
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Like, when you say easier time getting laid, like, do you mean, like, they seek it out
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more, or it's like people are saying yes to them more?
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Like, I, I would, it's basically just the act of being able to have, get sex, to have
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I think they're more concerned about seeking it out.
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I'd say they're more concerned with it, but if, if a woman was as inclined to get sex as
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a man was, do you think she'd have an easier time?
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You get on the dating app, who, who's gonna be able to fuck that night?
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Not to say a guy couldn't do that, but who is more likely gonna be able to, like, you
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I think the guy, I just think the mindset is way more, like, driven to actually get sex,
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Like, I guess if it's not happening, it's not happening.
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It's like that saying that's, like, girls choose who they sleep with, and guys sleep
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I mean, I thought about this, and I don't know.
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And basically, like, say you're on the street, right?
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This girl is definitely going to think you're totally weird.
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She's going to look at you, like, get the hell away from me.
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And if a girl goes up to a guy nine out of ten times, he's going to say, yeah, come home
00:21:49.840
So, we actually, a long time ago, I did this video as a social experiment where I had a girl
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go up to a hundred guys, ask if they wanted to have sex, point blank, and, like, I think,
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And, like, 50% of the dudes were like, yes, let's do it.
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There's maybe, like, the top tier of guys, they can, they can, you know.
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Yeah, I mean, even then, honestly, I think even, like, a really, really attractive guy
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would struggle more than an average girl just going up to someone in the street and just
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being like, hey, do you want to, do you want to fuck?
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Um, so, next question, and kind of, well, kind of staying on this theme, uh, so, as far
00:23:17.120
as dating goes, how many men would you say you've turned down slash rejected?
00:23:33.780
I mean, starting from when I was five years old, quite honestly.
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I think ghosting versus turning down, like, I, if it's on a dating app, I would stick to
00:24:06.220
I don't have a number to, that's my final answer.
00:24:09.400
Um, I don't have a number, but I know it's, like, tremendously bigger than the ones I've
00:24:17.720
Bigger than the ones, the ones I've gone on dates with.
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Because I, you know, I, my sense is, is that most women have plenty of experiencing, have
00:24:29.320
plenty of experience rejecting men, but most men, they don't really reject women, for the
00:24:42.820
Most, most men have no or little experience, like, rejecting women.
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I'd say, I guess I could frame this in a different way.
00:24:49.260
Um, and, I mean, when you think of rejection, it's also not just someone messaging you on
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a dating app, but it's also, maybe you've been, you went on a date, you went on a couple
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dates, maybe even you've had a longer term thing.
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Of the times where you've, maybe you went on a date with the guy, couple dates, of the
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times where one of the people, either you or him, had to say, hey, it was nice meeting
00:25:17.980
you, but I don't want to see you anymore, and that can range all the way from a first
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date to a long-term relationship where you're ending the relationship.
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More often than not, are you ending things, or is the guy ending things?
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Honestly, in that situation, as much as I'd hate to admit it, most of it is, like, ghosted.
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I think, I think the guy could, like, start kind of, like, slipping away or, like, less interested,
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but I'm always the one to, like, really cut the end.
00:26:14.560
I feel like I have been ghosted more than I've ever ghosted other people.
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I mean, I think I see too much good in people or, like, give people too much of the benefit
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of the doubt, but, yeah, I think I've been, like, not turned down and not even, like, hey,
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I don't want to see you anymore, just, like, straight up ghosted before, or, like, it's
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happened where it's, like, hey, like, I liked hanging out with you, but, like, now I'm in
00:26:46.380
a committed relationship with someone else, so that's, eh, it's whatever.
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But I think that's, yeah, I, I get the shit, like, most of the time.
00:27:06.020
I've definitely been, I think I've definitely been ghosted, and I've also just clearly been,
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Probably about the same amount for me, I would say.
00:27:19.740
I mean, are we counting those random Instagram guy DMs that hit you up and, like, hey, mommy,
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There's probably, like, a thousand of those, you know what I mean?
00:27:33.500
But growing up, I think that I was really into hookup culture for a while, and I didn't
00:27:39.980
know what a relationship was like because that wasn't modeled for me in my life, and I
00:27:45.680
definitely would try to take things to the next step with someone without even knowing
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So I think that that pushed a lot of guys away as I was growing up.
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So I feel like a lot of guys ghosted me more than them because I wanted something more,
00:28:00.160
and clearly the vibe that I gave off was just that I wanted to hook up to them, but that's
00:28:07.680
And so you said growing up, though, you participated in the hookup culture.
00:28:16.280
So basically what I mean by that is where I was from, I feel like it was just a very
00:28:24.620
I grew up in the Bay Area, and I feel like it was just a very common thing for no one
00:28:30.460
And for hookup culture, if I'm being point blank serious, it's, hey, hits you up after
00:28:38.620
You want to come over to my house, not let anyone know what we're doing, never speak
00:28:42.200
We don't even acknowledge each other outside of this world.
00:28:55.760
And now you have a boyfriend that you've been seeing for eight months now.
00:29:01.040
But yeah, we met in junior year of high school, so we've been friends for a long time.
00:29:07.480
And I wouldn't do it any other way, honestly, with anybody else, because now I have a new set
00:29:16.080
Yeah, like having a real relationship with someone that's not intimate before, like having
00:29:21.420
a real friendship with someone is very important before starting a relationship, I feel like,
00:29:25.920
because after that relationship ends, what are you guys?
00:29:31.780
Or if it doesn't end, you know, I'd rather that person be my best friend in the first
00:29:37.900
And who, so you guys were friends beforehand, though.
00:29:41.820
So y'all were friends, but who made the first overture?
00:29:57.420
In 2020, during quarantine, I literally point blank asked this man out, but his answer
00:30:05.140
It was basically just like, hey, I'm living under my parents' roof right now.
00:30:09.100
I can't provide you with the stability that I know you need.
00:30:14.060
Let's see where life takes us in a year or so, and we'll take it up from there.
00:30:30.820
You go, you're like, this friendship's over, we're done.
00:30:35.100
It's like I'm never talking to this guy ever again.
00:30:41.580
We came down here, and I got really sick when I was down here for the first month or
00:30:48.760
Nobody knew I was here because I was just in my bed.
00:30:51.660
He hits me up out of nowhere, and he goes, hey, are you in Santa Barbara?
00:31:00.460
He came over for a week straight and took care of me.
00:31:07.620
Even after, I still had him blocked on Instagram.
00:31:13.360
He realized, and he was like, why can't I find your Instagram?
00:31:16.300
And I was like, oh, I might have blocked you a couple months ago.
00:31:35.400
And I think almost everyone here said, eh, it's easier for women, besides you.
00:31:42.460
I was just thinking about, like, the effort aspect of, like, how much one or the other wants
00:32:01.600
So, what is the longest you've ever made a guy wait for sex?
00:32:17.160
But did he want, he wanted it, but you wanted to wait?
00:32:22.000
I actually asked him, like, would you, the next time we go out, would you want to?
00:32:29.500
And y'all been, you were dating for two months?
00:32:36.820
Was it, like, started off as a friendship, or was it pretty clear from the beginning, like,
00:32:41.460
We were going on dates, but I wouldn't say we were dating or.
00:32:54.700
Has a guy, but it sounded like he just didn't make a move.
00:33:00.840
He just, if he had made a move sooner, would you have?
00:33:06.120
It was also just, like, the circumstances of, like, where we were going to go, like, was
00:33:19.640
No, but I actually was, I felt very, uh, respected that, you know, I was able to ask
00:33:26.260
first, because a lot of times I feel a little too pressured, or, like, yeah, to say yes.
00:33:31.980
Even, like, if, okay, I was thinking about it, but sometimes men are way too forward with
00:33:40.880
And more often than not, are you, is, if a guy's making a move, he's like, hey, I want
00:33:49.100
I mean, he's not saying that, but, like, that's sort of the gist of what he's going for, be
00:33:55.660
Are you more so the one who's like, let's maybe wait a bit, or where do you fall there?
00:34:03.920
I think looking at my past dating life, I would have said yes.
00:34:08.520
Because, I think now, if I were ever to enter the dating pool again, it would be a lot different.
00:34:15.680
Um, I would probably wait at least, like, they said, like, three dates, or some dumb shit
00:34:23.340
It would definitely be more of, like, up to me, like, actually sitting down and thinking
00:34:29.740
about it, than just being like, okay, yeah, I think I've passed that phase.
00:34:48.940
Oh, um, what is, and this might be a tough question.
00:34:57.980
And I suppose maybe we should exclude, like, the first time, you know?
00:35:03.540
I mean, I mean, maybe the first time was first, like.
00:35:14.820
Oh, so first time, like, the very first time, how long did you make the guy wait?
00:35:19.780
Or how long did y'all wait together, I should say?
00:35:22.780
And just afterwards, what's the longest you've made a guy wait for sex?
00:35:27.440
Honestly, to be completely honest with you, that hasn't been all that successful yet.
00:35:33.200
So, like, when I first started, like, in the beginning, like, when I was first, like, having sex, like, I didn't really care, you know?
00:35:40.540
And I was, like, having one night stands and things like that.
00:35:43.740
And then, about, like, a year ago, till, like, now, I've definitely been, like, holding back.
00:35:49.700
Like, like, I would rather be taken out on dates and, like, see if this guy is actually interested in me to, like, give him the pleasure of having sex with me, you know?
00:36:06.040
But what about you getting the pleasure of having sex with him?
00:36:14.160
So, for me, there is not much winning for me, you know?
00:36:48.080
So, since, like, a year or so now, I'd rather be, like, taken on dates and, like, get to
00:36:55.160
know the person and see if they're, like, as narcissistic as this sounds, deserving of it.
00:37:03.880
If they can't make you come, they might as well get you dinner.
00:37:20.380
Like, maybe climax, but not, like, the finishing, you know?
00:37:24.060
It's like, you might get there, but it's not, like.
00:37:36.840
But, I mean, you could, I suppose you could still have good sex, even if you don't come
00:37:45.980
Like, I know how I do it, so it's, like, I'm not getting the.
00:37:49.960
You know, what do you mean, you know how you do it?
00:37:54.440
So, like, I know, like, it just, I feel that I don't feel as good.
00:38:10.140
And it's, like, that's, like, kind of, like, a hit or miss, you know?
00:38:12.840
Like, you don't know if you're going to meet a guy and he's going to, like, make you come,
00:38:21.920
Like, or do you want that to just, you want the guy to just get it?
00:38:28.220
Because, like, they don't have to, like, obviously, they won't know, like, your body the way you do.
00:38:32.960
But it's, like, first, like, the step of, like, meeting them and, like, being taken on dates and getting to know them and see if this is someone you do want to have a sexual relationship with.
00:38:46.380
And, like, like, a lot of times how she said guys put that pressure on you sometimes, some men.
00:38:54.300
And most of the times, like, the first or second date, like, they'll make a move, you know?
00:38:59.160
And I'll probably be, like, no, like, I would rather take things slowly and things like that.
00:39:05.420
And I feel like just the response from that has never been, like, all that great.
00:39:10.220
So, it's, for me, I'm, like, still on that journey to find the guy that is willing to wait.
00:39:18.340
So, but the guy has never, never made you come.
00:39:26.060
So, I also, like, if you want to go into, like, the body count and stuff and, like, I don't, like, my body count isn't high.
00:39:35.280
So, like, it's, like, the amount of people I've had sex with isn't a lot, but it's, like, also, like, none of them have, you know?
00:39:47.320
But didn't earlier you were saying how you were hooking up with a bunch of dudes or?
00:39:53.000
I was saying that I didn't care to make them wait in the beginning.
00:40:04.500
Wait, so has, like, the guy, they go down on you and you just, that doesn't work, fingers doesn't work, intercourse doesn't work.
00:40:13.640
Like, it feels good, but, like, doesn't mean you finish, you know?
00:40:18.440
Yeah, and I think it's become more of a thing, like, when I first started hooking up,
00:40:23.700
And then I realized, like, I'm not that hooking up type of person.
00:40:27.160
And, like, it's the hookup culture that kind of made me think, like, that's the way to get into a romantic relationship nowadays.
00:40:38.340
And I don't think I really vibe with that for myself.
00:40:45.660
Yeah, I mean, it's certainly the case that, I mean, if the experiences you have had, it wasn't anything super serious, that, I think that can play a factor, too.
00:40:56.780
I mean, if, sometimes it takes a girl a bit longer to get comfortable with the guy and then can make it a bit easier to climax.
00:41:05.860
So, Samantha, did you, I think you wanted to come in on something there, it seemed like.
00:41:10.700
I mean, I have a lot to say about this, so, but I don't know.
00:41:13.800
Okay, well, so, but it sounds like, for you, you have so far not been impressed by the performance.
00:41:30.980
I don't, I don't know if this is the channel to share what I know.
00:41:39.240
Well, so, I went to Greece over the summer and I did a Tantra workshop.
00:41:44.880
So, it was 11 days of, like, basically, it's, like, full body sexual massage.
00:41:50.120
So, I had 11 different gentlemen, like, massage my full body.
00:41:58.840
No, no, no, it's, like, a full, like, sexual massage.
00:42:03.900
That means, like, you're having a full day orgasm because you're.
00:42:23.540
No hard-ons, like, but it's, uh, but it's, like, a full body massage and you're opening
00:42:32.820
And, anyways, so, after those 11 days, then it's kind of, like, it was, like, best sex ever
00:42:40.840
And it was just, like, I didn't, I think I didn't realize it was just that I had body
00:42:47.740
So, what you're telling, what you're telling Big D is she needs to go to Greece.
00:42:58.180
And be massaged by 11 men is what you're telling me.
00:43:08.260
Well, it was, there were 22 people in the workshop and then you exchanged with a different
00:43:12.580
person, and I was with my boyfriend at the time.
00:43:15.760
But you have a lot of, like, yeah, we were, like, we want to be open, you know, but we
00:43:23.640
She'll be on one of the future shows, but, or his, his new fiance.
00:43:30.400
But, but anyways, so, I think sometimes you just, like, you don't know what types of,
00:43:39.520
like, tensions that you're holding in your, like, even, like, your physical, muscular body
00:43:44.440
or your emotional body, because during the process, a lot of women had, like, these huge
00:43:51.660
And, but then, like, my ex-boyfriend at the time, he had, like, a full day orgasm.
00:43:56.480
He's like, oh my God, I can't even make this stop.
00:44:00.140
And I was like, anyways, so you're kind of, like, bliss, and you, you're eating, like,
00:44:08.420
You can't smoke, like, like, you can't be on anything.
00:44:15.620
Um, so, Coco, tell us, uh, I don't even know where we are.
00:44:22.980
Yeah, you, you had a little piece you wanted to say about that.
00:44:25.240
Yeah, I made my first boyfriend wait three years.
00:44:29.180
And now, and that was the first guy that you hooked up with.
00:44:33.500
Three years, and then he broke up with me a week after, so.
00:44:40.760
You made him wait three years, and then he broke up with you.
00:44:54.940
So, and you only had sex once or a couple times and then.
00:45:26.960
And a week later, you had sex only one time, and he, he dumps you.
00:45:38.340
Um, and then I went to talk to him in person because, you know, that's not acceptable.
00:45:44.140
To text someone and break up with them, I don't think that's acceptable.
00:45:48.300
So I went and talked to him, and he did not change his mind.
00:45:57.520
It was a long time ago, but I really don't think we ever got back together.
00:46:16.740
Um, so, and did he give you an explanation for that?
00:46:24.960
I, he blamed it on his friend because we were pretty young, and there was this movie night
00:46:30.100
thing that happened at our school, and I fell asleep, and one of his friends put his arm
00:46:50.060
And somebody told him about it, and he got pissed off.
00:47:04.220
Like, as much as I don't, like, as much as a shitty situation that is, that's the truth.
00:47:13.700
And that's where the hookup culture stemmed from.
00:47:24.720
And I don't even think he understands, like, what it did to me.
00:47:46.680
Maybe that's a warning, though, to not make a guy wait, almost.
00:47:52.360
Because it's, like, if you're, if you're going to do that, you might as well, instead of getting
00:47:59.260
all emotionally invested in the, that's just fucked up.
00:48:04.200
Was, did you, like, bite him or something during the.
00:48:16.580
It was, it was as cliche as the first time gets, he asked how to put a condom on, you
00:48:50.280
And then, let's, can you pull up the Twitch window?
00:49:05.440
By the way, guys, we are streaming this show live on Twitch.
00:49:08.580
If you have an Amazon Prime subscription, you can head on over to twitch.tv slash whatever.
00:49:30.700
My favorite vid is the Asking Girls on, Asking Girls on Valentine's Day video, or I think
00:49:37.060
it was Asking Girls for, for Valentine's Day, something like that.
00:49:41.320
So, French, Jose French is my second language, but I moved to the U.S. when I was five.
00:49:45.260
So, it's kind of a meme that it's my second, English is my second language, but French
00:49:55.820
By the way, guys, if you want to ask a question to the panel, send a soup chat.
00:50:20.480
So, the original question was, the longest time you've made a guy wait.
00:50:53.300
Sorry, I didn't really have the answer, I guess.
00:50:58.200
So, who is more likely to lie about how long they've gone without sex, men or women?
00:51:18.140
I think guys, because I feel that guys kind of feel shameful in a way.
00:51:25.460
Like, if they, like, say out loud that they haven't had sex in a while, because it might
00:51:31.140
come off as, like, they can't get girls or something.
00:51:34.860
Whereas, I have said many times to people, like, how long I've gone.
00:51:47.640
I think, like, girls just have an easier time being, like, yeah, it's been this long.
00:51:53.020
And what, like, it's not a, it's not really a big deal.
00:51:57.700
Yeah, I think, wait, what was the, guys have, yeah, guys have lie more.
00:52:15.000
So, tying this sort of back into who has it harder when it comes to dating, men or women,
00:52:22.400
women, overall, who would you say has the burden of initiative when it comes to dating?
00:52:34.560
That could be asking for a phone number, it could be approaching you, it could be sending
00:52:39.440
a DM, it could be sending a message on a dating app.
00:52:45.060
Personally, I wouldn't accept it if I had to ask a guy.
00:52:52.520
I feel like chivalry is dead, but I would wait for a guy to ask me.
00:52:59.020
So, if the guy, the guy's not willing to make a move.
00:53:03.800
Like, well, let's say, let's say, if, I guess, agree or disagree.
00:53:11.820
If the guy isn't willing to have the courage to come and talk to you, that's not a guy
00:53:22.080
Let's go around rapid fire on the table for that one.
00:53:25.760
If a guy doesn't have the courage to initiate and approach you, wherever that may be, it
00:53:30.900
could be online, it could be in person, that type of guy is not the type of guy that you're
00:53:39.300
Okay, so, not a good question to ask you, Brooke?
00:53:42.740
Well, like, Bumble makes, like, the girl message the guy first, which I hate in some
00:53:50.240
Like, it just depends, like, what you feel like you have to say to someone.
00:53:53.200
Like, what you're, like, what topics or, like, whatever you want to bring up.
00:53:57.680
Like, if you feel like you have something, like, genuinely in common with them, it's,
00:54:04.540
Where it's not, like, about, like, oh, like, I'm the girl and I'm going to talk to the
00:54:10.520
But I think if it's less serious dating, I would want the guy to ask me first.
00:54:20.820
If it was more serious, are you saying that you would want to ask him first?
00:54:26.560
Well, it, like, if it was more serious, like, it wouldn't really matter.
00:54:32.660
Like, if it was something where, like, I feel like I'm interested in this person, I
00:54:40.880
I think I can go after, like, things that I want, like, and it not, like, hurt my
00:54:49.940
It is interesting that you bring up the Bumble example because Bumble is an app,
00:54:56.220
if you guys don't know, where it's a dating app, sort of similar to Tinder or
00:55:01.660
But the difference is, is that when you match, you know, you swipe left or right
00:55:07.740
But when you match, the woman has to send the first message.
00:55:11.560
Now, as someone who's been on Bumble, I can say overwhelmingly, my experience,
00:55:19.940
and I think I've spoken to a few other guys, and this is the experience of a lot
00:55:23.120
of guys on there, there are certainly some women that will, when they first
00:55:27.380
message you, they will come up with something clever or something.
00:55:36.620
The same shit that if a guy said to you on Tinder, you wouldn't even answer.
00:55:44.900
And, I mean, look, maybe it depends on the guy.
00:55:47.020
If the guy is super attractive and he just says, hey, maybe you'll go for it,
00:55:50.140
But I have heard a common complaint, like, for women who are on Tinder, they're
00:55:55.480
like, if you just say hi or hey, how you doing, that shit's kind of boring.
00:56:02.400
So my experience on Bumble is, like, 90% of the girls, when they do message, it's
00:56:10.640
I'd say some, like, they'll go through the profile and, like, actually do a little
00:56:14.960
And I appreciate that because I'm like, okay, you look through it, you're putting
00:56:21.420
But even then, I would say that as soon as they send the first message, a lot of
00:56:25.900
time, and this is my experience, you're going to have to take over as the guy from there.
00:56:33.140
Even if they send the first message, you're going to have to probably say, hey, let's
00:56:39.640
And you've got to, you know, ask for the number.
00:56:42.680
And then, you know, so I think Bumble is a, ooh, voice crack, nice.
00:56:49.400
But, so, yeah, I'm still going through puberty.
00:56:53.000
I think Bumble is a step in the right direction, but, yeah, I think it's, like, the initiative
00:56:58.880
that women have to show on Bumble, it's very token.
00:57:03.500
Well, I think when you think about if you're, like, meeting someone in person, you're usually
00:57:06.960
at, like, a common place of interest, or you're, yeah, you're, like, both at a place
00:57:12.340
where, like, you're both doing something that, like, that's what I just said.
00:57:17.480
But I think that's kind of what people are looking for on dating apps is, like, find a
00:57:25.740
But I do see what, I do know what you're saying about the, like, hey, because I would do that,
00:57:29.780
too, because I want them to seem like they're interested by starting a conversation.
00:57:48.880
Like, everyone has their own little, like, peaks of interest, and it depends, like, what
00:57:56.200
And there's certainly, like, I'm sure, by the way, just show of hands, who here at the
00:58:04.140
So, I mean, there's just some profiles where it's like, the fuck am I supposed to say to
00:58:09.500
Like, they don't, it's like, on Bumble, there's prompts and stuff, but, like, sometimes there's
00:58:18.140
Their photos are kind of fucking dull, very basic.
00:58:20.540
So it's just like, you can't really come up with something super clever, you know?
00:58:24.940
You can maybe do, like, something kind of token, just to make it at least somewhat interesting,
00:58:34.140
You wouldn't even match if their show is boring?
00:58:35.360
No, if they're boring, and they don't have any information, it's like, what?
00:58:38.780
I'm not going to try to, like, fish for information from you.
00:58:58.560
People called me big D before, because it's, like, ironic, you know?
00:59:07.780
If that annoys you, by the way, I can change back to your name.
00:59:15.600
I definitely take that, because when I match with someone, I never message first.
00:59:20.600
Like, if I'm going on a date with you, it's for sure, because you asked me.
00:59:25.580
So, and when you say message you, do you mean, like, is that through Instagram, a dating app?
00:59:40.200
Right now, the one I use, like, most is Hinge, I would say.
00:59:50.160
Yeah, I mean, it's, yeah, it's the app made for Tinder sucks to be deleted, so.
00:59:57.620
Well, I think, because now on Hinge, there's a field that says dating goals, what you're
01:00:05.560
looking for, whereas before, it did seem like, at least in their marketing, it was like, hey,
01:00:09.900
this is for more, people who are more serious, but in the field, you can put, like, short-term
01:00:14.700
dating, which, I mean, to me, that doesn't really equate with.
01:00:24.800
You know what, oh, you know what would be interesting would be if we look, we did a
01:00:32.880
We're going to have to, we're going to have to maybe do that for a new show when we can,
01:00:37.220
like, connect the phones to the computer or something, but.
01:00:49.140
So, but, so you were saying how on the dating apps, you never message first.
01:00:55.320
And on Hinge, so on Hinge, you can receive likes and send likes out.
01:01:02.920
Are you mostly picking the, like, you probably get a lot of matches, like, guys who are liking
01:01:10.480
And are you more, more so getting matches from the pool of men who like you, or?
01:01:16.960
Um, I actually don't know the stats on that one.
01:01:25.000
But, so you were saying that on the dating apps, you want the guy to message you first.
01:01:37.380
And it's not that I'm, like, scared to message first.
01:01:40.440
It's more like, I think it's the whole Leo and Venus thing.
01:01:51.480
Like, who likes me enough, or, like, sees me and makes the effort to message.
01:02:00.180
What if all men felt the exact same way as that?
01:02:06.160
I think, I think society, I think they're just never, you know, this is the last generation.
01:02:12.600
No one else would do, but, but, uh, no, that's interesting.
01:02:18.760
I mean, I don't think there's anything wrong with someone wanting to have the other person initiate.
01:02:25.140
And I think that's kind of falls into more traditional gender roles.
01:02:30.440
I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
01:02:33.240
It's not that, like, I'm not open to reaching out first, but I guess I want, want to be reached out first.
01:02:43.640
Like, it's not like I'm, like, embarrassed or like, oh, I can't.
01:02:46.620
Do you feel that you would lose some leverage if you messaged first?
01:02:52.040
You'd think, okay, this girl's really, you'd think the guy thinks, hey, this girl's super
01:02:59.480
No, I think a lot of guys find it really fresh, new and fresh, that, like, girls reach out
01:03:15.980
Like, that's the whole point of why I don't want to do that.
01:03:21.020
So, overwhelmingly, it seemed like the panel said they prefer the guy to initiate, but you
01:03:28.980
said that you initiate more often than does my own.
01:03:37.760
I guess I just mean, like, if I'm, like, at a party and I meet someone, then I'll most
01:03:43.380
likely just kind of, like, go talk to them and maybe do more body language of, like, hey,
01:03:52.760
And then, like, I wouldn't be the one to, like, ask them on a date, though.
01:03:57.460
So, but I would be, like, just showing signals, you know, like, hey, that makes sense.
01:04:05.300
So, as far as first messages, like, as far as communication, sending a message, approaching,
01:04:13.980
sounds like most of you want the guy to take the initiative there.
01:04:25.120
Like, starting with Big D, have you ever been the one to go in for the kiss first?
01:04:44.020
Oh, literally, my boyfriend, our first date, I was dropping him off, and I was, like, he was,
01:04:50.160
like, getting out of the car, and I was, like, aren't you going to kiss me?
01:04:54.420
So, I'm pretty, like, just, like, if that's what I want, then I'm not, well, obviously,
01:04:59.580
I'm not going to, like, force anything, but I'm going to ask.
01:05:07.780
It's a nice, like, sort of sign that, like, things went well, I think, especially at the
01:05:17.480
And so, with your last boyfriend on the first date, you initiated the first kiss?
01:05:23.480
And for previous relationships, would you say you more so the guy made the move or kind
01:05:31.260
I think it was, when I think back, it's more of, like, we were, like, me and other people
01:05:36.360
were kind of, like, giving each other, like, signals, like, yeah, we're both into each other.
01:05:40.200
Like, we'd like to, like, be a little more physical than, like, what we've been, like,
01:05:45.180
And so, it's hard to say, but I think I tend to, like, initiate it.
01:05:53.140
Like, I don't really beat around the bush, like, if I want to, so, but I think I ask
01:06:03.640
I think there's certainly some guys that they want things to adhere to traditional gender
01:06:10.360
roles, but I think a lot of guys, like, would really actually appreciate it, like, if a girl
01:06:16.220
sent the first message, approached them, made the first move, whatever it may be.
01:06:21.580
I think a lot of guys, because I think a lot of guys really don't feel desired.
01:06:43.660
I honestly don't know, but I think in my younger years, in, like, college, I'd always be, like,
01:06:50.680
kind of, like, wasted, like, you know, and that's when things would initiate, so I honestly
01:06:57.440
You don't remember, because you were just so tanked.
01:07:17.440
I've also done the whole tanked kissing shit, so, yeah, let's not remember that if we can.
01:07:24.940
Yeah, but I just, I don't think that it's just a big deal at all.
01:07:29.520
I do not care if a guy kisses me before I kiss him, like, it's supposed, I feel like
01:07:34.980
kisses are so overrated, and it's supposed to be this whole romantic, like, lean in, and
01:07:42.200
It's just exchanging of saliva that you're going to keep in your freaking mouth for six
01:08:00.780
I've heard studies that y'all keep that shit around.
01:08:05.120
Like, the DNA, not, like, the DNA, I don't know, imprinting, I don't know what it is.
01:08:30.400
Sometimes when I'm sober, I just don't, I don't really remember, like, most of the times
01:08:34.480
that I've, like, gone in to go first for a kiss, because I feel like it's a platonic
01:08:38.360
If someone wants to, like, kiss you, it's like, okay, I feel like I'm never, like, if
01:08:43.120
I'm going for something and they don't want to kiss me back, I'm doing something wrong.
01:08:46.760
Like, that's definitely, like, a connection that should be developed already.
01:08:50.020
And there's, like, a level of, like, emotional intelligence that's like, okay, this person
01:08:56.880
We've been hanging out for a while or whatever.
01:08:58.580
I just feel like it's a weird thing if you go in for a kiss and another person, like,
01:09:08.380
I feel like there's already, like, you realize that they're going to kiss you back.
01:09:28.120
If I put my vagina in him first, what do you do?
01:09:44.980
No, I mean, as far as, because, I mean, there are steps along the way.
01:09:49.520
So, I mean, if you kind of want to break it down and get analytical.
01:09:53.860
So, you know, you go for the kiss and then you got to take the top off and then you got to take the pants off.
01:10:08.280
I don't know, like, I don't know whether to say if a guy would go for it first or if I go for it first.
01:10:24.460
Because I don't know how that would work, you know.
01:10:27.080
Like, it's a mutual thing if you want to have sex with someone, I feel like.
01:10:30.620
Like, if I'm trying to pursue a guy, I'd feel a little awkward if I'm the one reaching for it.
01:10:40.540
Like, I want a guy not necessarily to be experienced.
01:10:46.320
But I'd rather him take the initiative so I know, like, that I'm being taken care of necessarily.
01:10:53.360
Because I don't want to feel like I'm the one who wants this.
01:10:57.180
And then it makes me feel like, I don't know, like, I'm the one reaching for the sex.
01:11:01.620
And then it puts me in that uncomfortable position of, like, sometimes it's like, does he just want me for sex?
01:11:21.260
Chris, can we pull up this super chat really quick while I'm just fixing something on my computer?
01:11:27.940
Yes, we have a super chat from CMath that wants the love equation here.
01:11:36.700
So, CMath, $5 super chat, teach us the secret to seduction girls.
01:11:52.320
Is it seduction, comma, girls or seducing girls?
01:11:55.920
By the way, can you guys spell check this shit before you send them just, you know.
01:12:37.240
So, kind of related to the kissing thing, do you, would you want a guy, or would you find
01:12:49.160
If he was like, hey, do you want to kiss right now?
01:12:51.480
Or would you prefer it to feel a bit more organic and be like.
01:13:01.300
I mean, I'd imagine if you weren't into him either way, it would be kind of weird.
01:13:13.660
Even with my boyfriend now, I feel like I asked him.
01:13:16.180
I set a lot of boundaries because we were friends first.
01:13:27.720
So, it's like, I feel like that's sort of normal and I would accept that.
01:13:34.680
And I didn't take that in a weird way because I was, I liked him.
01:13:57.280
It sounded like he was living with his parents.
01:13:59.340
Yeah, and he definitely put in the time to, like, pursue me.
01:14:02.360
And, like, I feel like he didn't go after anybody else but me.
01:14:08.260
And I even, like, funny story, I even left him at my house while I went on another date with another dude once.
01:14:15.460
While we were still friends and I set boundaries on that.
01:14:18.060
And, like, he literally waited for me at my house while I went on this date.
01:14:21.420
And he hung out with my friend next door waiting for me to get back home.
01:14:28.540
Samantha, would you find it off-putting if a guy asked you, asked to kiss you?
01:14:34.980
Or would you prefer the guy to just go in for it?
01:14:38.240
Actually, just in the last six months, sometime I don't remember when.
01:14:43.380
But that was the first time someone actually asked me.
01:14:51.060
And I was, like, actually really, like, turned on by it.
01:14:56.200
I, you know, because I think sometimes someone leans in and then you, like, don't want to be rude.
01:15:05.240
So it was really nice to, like, have someone, like, kind of, yeah, check in or whatever.
01:15:24.460
No matter what step you're taking, whether it's a kiss, whether it's sex.
01:15:30.340
Like, I just think, like, just make sure that the answer is yes.
01:15:44.320
Anything else probably means I'm not sure or no.
01:15:55.200
Like, I obviously, like, if the guy is someone I like already and if he asks me, it wouldn't, like, change my opinion of him.
01:16:03.220
But I have experience where, like, sometimes, like, I feel like it can definitely be an ick.
01:16:12.620
And, like, if the vibes are right and, like, you know, like, you and her are vibing, like, I feel like you could just lean in.
01:16:19.500
And if she doesn't want to kiss you, yeah, she could, like.
01:16:25.560
Yeah, I think, so I think guys are a little bit in a tough spot with this one because there's definitely some girls will not mind if you ask.
01:16:36.840
But I think a lot of women will say, like, I'd rather the guy just go for it.
01:16:46.040
And it's not a question of, like, forcing the girl to do it.
01:16:51.560
But if you ask, she'd prefer if you just went for it.
01:16:59.240
Well, and I don't know, I think if you had, like, a conversation about it beforehand, like, 10 minutes before you anticipated kissing the girl.
01:17:07.920
Well, when I go to kiss you in 10 minutes, when I go to kiss you in 10 minutes, do you want me to just go for it or do you want me to ask?
01:17:19.780
So but that is within sort of the realm of, you know, asking beforehand.
01:17:26.520
And so and I guess we could apply this also to there's so might be should we wait for Coco?
01:17:39.160
But so as it relates to I'll come back to that.
01:17:50.240
And so the next question is, and you're sort of just talking about, I think, about the whole consent thing and how.
01:18:07.100
So like there's some women that would be turned off if you were to be like, hey, is it OK if I kiss you right now?
01:18:13.540
You know, they might be like a little they'd rather it just be organic.
01:18:17.160
And that's if a woman's OK with being kissed, she may prefer for you to just go forward instead of asking.
01:18:36.820
So I think in California for the UC systems, all the colleges in California, this isn't the law in California, like broadly speaking, but the law for universities that receive public funding in California, there's they need to encourage what's called affirmative consent.
01:19:01.100
And so that's like it's not enough just I don't I don't know the exact language, but like you basically need what it sounds like, affirmative consent at every step along the way.
01:19:16.020
So and I'm not exactly sure what that looks like, but I guess kind of to tie that into what we've been talking about, would you find it off putting if every single time you hooked up in each instance that physically it had to escalate?
01:19:33.000
The guy was like, is it is it OK if I kiss, you know, is it OK if I put my hand on your chest?
01:19:43.660
Would would you find that off putting and we'll start like, is it OK if I.
01:19:48.760
I don't know how a guy would smoothly ask, is it OK if I I'm trying to like not I'm trying to be fair with this thing, but like, is it OK if I.
01:20:09.560
Um, maybe not the way you said it right now, but like so there's maybe as he went, maybe he would just like, is this OK or something like that?
01:20:22.880
OK, it might be like more natural than like, is it OK if I grab your boob now or something, you know, but but but he.
01:20:33.200
But so you're saying he should say, is it is this OK?
01:20:37.480
But does he need to ask that before he does it?
01:20:47.400
I'm already like in your bed, like when we're like doing stuff, I like I am just not really the type of person to do thing, do like the smaller steps with someone if I'm not going to do the full step.
01:21:03.220
OK, so if I'm going to kiss someone, I would probably.
01:21:07.480
I would probably fuck them in the future, like would or would want to.
01:21:17.240
But about the sex, I think for sure, like that is something you should ask.
01:21:23.260
But if I'm like already that far with you, then like I'm down.
01:21:31.380
And let's assume in these scenarios, it's like you are you want to have sex, right?
01:22:10.880
I don't even know where I'm going with this question, really.
01:22:17.300
And like if you're at a point where you're comfortable with someone that you guys have
01:22:49.420
I think if only one person, though, is kind of like doing the talking through everything,
01:22:55.920
So I think there needs to be like a mutual level of communication, like expressing what
01:23:02.480
Like there's I don't to me, there's nothing like unsexy about being like, I don't like
01:23:09.560
Like, I just think communication is important in all aspects of life.
01:23:15.980
So that's I don't have a problem with being asked anything.
01:23:21.000
I don't have a problem with being asked anything.
01:23:24.940
Yeah, I definitely feel like there's some benefits to asking, right?
01:23:31.620
But I also feel like then you kind of get into your head and you're not really in your
01:23:36.740
So that would be my only, you know, because I feel like traditionally maybe we just like
01:23:43.300
But I do feel like sometimes people aren't reading the room.
01:23:53.160
But yeah, so I think asking is probably great if like when it's more towards like the beginning
01:24:01.200
And then as you get to know the person, then that would probably seem kind of extra.
01:24:07.800
Well, the way that you worded the question, you said if every single guy asked you, I
01:24:13.900
would feel like it's a little like ungenuine, you know what I mean?
01:24:17.960
And I feel like that I would relate all those guys together.
01:24:21.240
And then I would literally think about that another dude when that guy asked me that question
01:24:26.540
and every single guy is asking me that question.
01:24:29.140
So I feel like that that would just make it a little not different for me.
01:24:37.200
Like, I feel like all these guys are sort of the same if they kept asking me that question.
01:24:48.880
Like before every single like the way that you said it was like a little severe.
01:24:55.440
But, you know, it's different because I'm just with one guy right now.
01:25:00.060
But even if that guy asked me every single time before we had sex, I would just fucking
01:25:11.980
So it's like I need something to spice it up a little bit.
01:25:16.860
And asking the same question every single time.
01:25:19.560
It's just like I don't even want to do it anymore.
01:25:24.100
But the first time, I feel like it's sort of important to ask that question.
01:25:28.620
But moving forward with that, it's already like, okay, we asked that question.
01:25:34.300
Unless you tell me otherwise and communicate with me that you don't want to do this with
01:25:49.580
So going back to if it is dating harder for men or women.
01:26:21.620
But one of them is the burden of initiative generally falls on the guy.
01:26:30.480
Like, I guess we could almost paint a bit of a dream scenario here.
01:26:39.560
Have any of you here gone out to a bar or a nightclub?
01:26:51.620
So has everyone here gone to, like, a bar or a nightclub?
01:26:58.120
Would you say more, like, do you get approached by guys?
01:27:08.260
When you're single, when you were single, if you were at a bar, club, or party, do you
01:27:20.700
I think I kind of radiate this energy that, like, I don't want to talk to people outside
01:27:26.340
of, like, my friend group that I'm already there with, which is actually pretty true.
01:27:34.820
I think I'm kind of off-putting, like, I don't really want to talk to people.
01:27:39.420
But guys do approach you, but you don't necessarily enjoy it when they do.
01:27:45.640
Like, one time this guy, like, was like, you should smile.
01:27:53.600
So, but yeah, I think, I mean, I'm not saying that I don't think, like, guys are attracted
01:27:59.040
to me or, like, don't want to talk to me, but I think I just kind of give off this vibe
01:28:02.860
that, like, I'm here with the people I'm here with right now, and I'm not really here
01:28:06.600
to, like, meet guys that I don't know, you know?
01:28:14.000
Yeah, I would say, like, maybe at least once, depending on the night.
01:28:26.280
As a guy, if you go to a club or a bar or a party, ain't nobody talking to you the entire
01:28:37.680
So, right off the bat there, I think kind of relating it back to who has the burden of initiative
01:28:49.920
Have you ever had those really drunk girls just come up to you and, like, one night you
01:29:10.440
Have you ever had this girl come up to you, and she's just, like, plastered, and she just
01:29:17.240
Well, so, I might be a bit of an outlier because, I mean, when I was a bit younger, I'd go to bars
01:29:22.640
and clubs a little bit, but honestly, even then, I didn't really like it.
01:29:30.160
I think I'd rather, I think I honestly would rather masturbate with sandpaper than go to
01:30:02.980
Maybe it was five, six years ago I was at a bar or club.
01:30:07.000
I don't really drink like that to begin with, so not.
01:30:13.340
If I'm going on a date, I'll meet a girl at a quiet bar or something, but I'm not, like,
01:30:21.080
So, as far as your example goes with the chick that thinks I'm Johnny Depp.
01:30:30.200
I don't think I've encountered that experience.
01:30:36.360
Are you trying to say that the girl, she comes up to me?
01:30:41.020
Like, you know, sometimes there's that really wasted girl at a party, and she talks to everyone.
01:30:47.960
Like, looking for her friends, lost her phone, she doesn't know what her name is, and she's
01:30:55.780
I mean, I wouldn't even, I'd probably, that's a bit iffy for me.
01:31:01.640
Well, no, nobody's trying to do anything with her.
01:31:05.200
But, like, I'm just saying in an approach, like, have you been approached by a girl at a
01:31:09.460
I mean, I've been, I've had, like, women who are just fucking sloshed, and they're
01:31:15.560
fucking going up to you, but it's, they're just, like, it's, to me, it's not clear that
01:31:21.580
they're, like, trying to hit on me or anything.
01:31:32.440
But I would say, I don't think I've, of the times, like, when I was younger, I went out
01:31:38.680
But, um, I don't think I've ever, either in, at a fucking Trader Joe's, yeah, at a Trader
01:31:47.540
Joe's, or a club, or a bar, or a party, like, I've never been approached by a girl.
01:31:54.780
Not even when they, like, want you to buy them a drink or something?
01:32:03.760
Like, you don't need to do the act of it, but just, like, do they approach you?
01:32:07.400
I have never been, like, approached by a girl where it's clear that she's, like, pursuing
01:32:29.000
Like, it's not so much that I want her to be drunk or anything, but, yeah, I don't
01:32:34.720
think I, I've never even had just, in any scenario, a girl approach me, and I think a
01:32:41.400
lot of guys have, guys in the chat, Stephen Krug, I recognize Stephen Krug.
01:32:49.140
Hey, man, thank you for the super chats last week.
01:32:51.900
Guys, one, men in the chat, one, if a girl has approached you, like, hit on you.
01:33:06.180
Two, if you, if a girl has never, like, come up to you at a bar, club, party, anywhere,
01:33:10.620
with a specific intent, like, they're kind of interested in you, they're hitting on you.
01:33:14.940
So, one in the chat for, yes, two in the chat for a girl has never hit on you.
01:33:24.160
Two in the chat for you've never been hit on by a girl.
01:33:50.500
So, a little, there's some differences there in the chat.
01:33:55.200
You know, it's possible that I've been approached, but I just don't remember it.
01:33:58.960
But overwhelmingly, I mean, my experience is, like, as a guy, like, if you go out, ain't nobody talking to you.
01:34:06.800
Whereas if you go to a club and you're, you know, some guy will come and talk to you.
01:34:15.640
And similarly, so, I guess to continue my point, as far as why I think that dating is harder as a guy, bro, it's tough.
01:34:26.960
I mean, if, if, even if you just want sex, like, it could take you, like, an average guy, it could take you a couple weeks.
01:34:40.920
Whereas, like, if you were so inclined, not to say that you wouldn't necessarily want this, but if you were so inclined.
01:35:11.380
All right, so, I guess I'm going to ask a question for the panel here.
01:35:17.300
If you were so inclined, do you think that you could go find a brand new guy that you've never talked to before tonight and sleep with him?
01:35:28.500
But not, not so much in terms of what you want, but if you were so inclined to.
01:35:34.940
To sleep with a guy, would you be able to secure a guy tonight to sleep with?
01:35:47.620
You could probably just walk out down here and just find a guy.
01:35:54.820
Here, we'll get, we'll get the long view camera and we'll just see you in the street approaching men.
01:36:00.360
Yeah, actually go out on the balcony and, and just shout at guys passing by.
01:36:13.560
I don't think, I don't think have that level of game.
01:36:16.980
You don't, you don't think you could find a guy that's reasonably like decent looking, whatever, to sleep with you tonight.
01:36:34.300
You said it doesn't have to be a guy that you want, right?
01:36:37.420
You said if you are inclined to have sex tonight.
01:36:48.540
It's just a possibility of having sex tonight or now.
01:36:51.200
It doesn't have to be the first guy you talk to, but if you were, um, you know.
01:36:56.800
You could, you could find like, you could find a reasonably attractive guy to do it.
01:37:01.860
He might not be a match for you, but you could have sex.
01:37:05.820
Um, yeah, I, I, I would say I don't really have a game like that either.
01:37:13.380
I don't, I wouldn't say I'm like a player or anything, but I just feel like I could.
01:37:30.200
I mean, a lot of guys, um, here, here's a good question that we can sort of riff off
01:37:38.420
So what would you guys say, what percentage of men are like having sex?
01:37:48.600
Who's, who's having, who's having more, who's having more sex, men or women?
01:37:56.460
Um, I think from like the people I know, it's the guys, the guys are having more sex.
01:38:19.040
Yeah, because from what I'm hearing from a lot of like what I've heard from a lot of
01:38:24.500
people, I've heard a guy having like losing count of how many people they have sex with
01:38:31.880
versus like girls that like usually know how many people they have had sex with.
01:38:44.320
And yeah, so I mean, definitely there's some slutty dude, but like not enough to a guy
01:38:53.940
Well, I would say that the guys who can really rack up the numbers, those are going to be
01:39:03.720
I think like, I don't think an average guy can put up like 50 bodies.
01:39:11.540
I think it'd be like top 10, 20 percent, whereas like, I think an average woman, if
01:39:16.980
she was so inclined, pretty much honestly, most women, if they're so inclined, could put
01:39:23.040
up a hundred bodies in their freshman semester at UCSB.
01:39:30.320
So I forgot what the question was, but Samantha go.
01:39:44.480
And I feel like a lot of women in my friend circles are having a good time.
01:39:51.940
My friends have rosters and they are some players and these girls got game, bro.
01:39:58.960
Every single night there is a different guy at their house and go off.
01:40:15.040
I don't even think they know them, their own body counts or they haven't explained it to
01:40:19.800
I feel like that's just not like a, hey girly, what's your body count?
01:40:25.920
Um, but yeah, I feel like, I don't know, just my friends specifically, like they're
01:40:33.280
attractive women and they get with a lot of men.
01:40:36.920
They're, I mean, at my age, most people are very sexually active at all of our ages.
01:40:43.740
And I just think that the women that I hang out with, um, keep it real and got a hundred
01:40:57.520
So, and did you ever, before your boyfriend, did you ever partake in a similar sort of
01:41:06.840
I mean, like a little bit, a long time ago, I could say that I had maybe like a roster
01:41:13.800
of a couple guys, but honestly, nowhere near what my friends can do.
01:41:25.620
Your friends, like, so you're saying they're, they're, Oh yeah, no, she like literally, I
01:41:30.800
can't even keep up with the names of these guys that they're telling me and they're at,
01:41:34.160
they're like asking me about questions and they're like, Oh, you remember this guy?
01:41:37.020
And I'm like, quite honestly, I don't even, but I'm just going to play it along.
01:41:41.940
Is it, is she just having a bunch of one night stands or does she have like five guys
01:41:53.740
She doesn't have like a consistent, a few consistent guys.
01:41:59.480
Like that's, that's having a connection with someone and she don't want them.
01:42:05.400
And, but it sounds like it's your friend group.
01:42:17.480
They might be watching right now that you're putting them on blast.
01:42:31.700
So then, so you think that they're probably having sex while watching the podcast.
01:42:45.360
So, so you think that women are having more sex than men are?
01:42:51.360
And here, here's sort of a follow-up question to that.
01:42:54.380
So who do you think are women more likely to be Eskimo sisters?
01:43:01.540
Eskimo sisters with other women or are men more likely to be Eskimo?
01:43:05.660
Women are way more likely to be Eskimo sisters with other women.
01:43:10.740
I just feel like there's just such a stigma around guys getting with other guys unless
01:43:16.480
So do you understand what I say though when I mean Eskimo?
01:43:19.600
So basically, okay, Eskimo, Eskimo sister, Eskimo brother, you've had sex with the same
01:43:29.400
So two girls having sex with the same guy, for example.
01:43:33.640
I think it's more likely for the guys to be Eskimo brothers.
01:43:37.700
Wait, this isn't a threesome thing, by the way.
01:43:41.760
No, like I think that a girl can run through a group of guys like that.
01:43:48.640
And I just think that it's more likely for this girl to get with all of his friends because
01:44:00.900
If she's gone with this guy, it's like hands off.
01:44:02.980
And if you get with him, you're like, we need to have a talk about it or get the fuck
01:44:11.000
So even, even if it's just like a one night stand thing, you're still going to be.
01:44:17.860
It's like, it doesn't matter unless if it's a one night stand and you've had emotions
01:44:25.460
But if it's your doing of the one night stand, it doesn't matter.
01:44:31.280
But if he broke your heart because it was a one night stand, then girls stay the fuck
01:44:38.640
So Chris, let's do some super chats here, but I want to come back to that, but we've
01:44:47.660
got a couple of super chats that came in super chat section.
01:44:50.660
We have Mr. Krug who made a mistake and donated twice or maybe that might've been three times.
01:45:05.220
So Steven Krug, I, this is, I think what you intended as the super chat.
01:45:12.860
Well, he, he donated $9.99 and he didn't tie it to a message and then he donated again.
01:45:25.080
Uh, evolutionarily women are more selective for mates because of inherent pregnancy risk
01:45:30.560
slash burden, higher time investment requirement than men thoughts.
01:45:44.260
Um, it's actually like, so that like, um, men find physical cheating more, uh, difficult
01:45:54.320
to deal with and women find like, this is all evolutionary.
01:45:58.440
Um, women find emotional, wait, did I get that right?
01:46:02.060
Emotional cheating more, um, like difficult to deal with because, um, like a male can never
01:46:09.760
be completely certain that someone he impregnates is like actually pregnant with their biological
01:46:15.640
Um, whereas a woman has to seek out like a good mate to like be the sperm for their child.
01:46:55.120
Um, she's a bit shy, Kiki, um, but, uh, Will Smith, if you want, I can arrange for a meeting.
01:47:11.680
Um, so, Chris, what I want you to do is pull up the first chart on the other computer.
01:47:35.360
It's a general social survey they've been taking for, since 1989.
01:47:38.760
Uh, young men driving the decline in sex, share of men and women between ages 18 and 30 reporting
01:47:48.520
And it looks up until 2008, it was pretty even there between men and women.
01:47:57.800
But, uh, in 2018, so it's saying that, uh, let's see.
01:48:03.220
So, 18% of women are reporting having had, between the ages of 18 and 30, reporting no
01:48:11.140
And 28% of men reporting no sex in the past year.
01:48:20.620
I wonder if that's going to change since Roe versus Wade just got overturned.
01:48:25.300
So, well, I'd also be curious to see that the last data point is 2018.
01:48:30.020
I actually suspect the difference has increased quite a bit.
01:48:35.120
I wouldn't be surprised if it's like 35, 40% of men have had, between those ages, are not
01:48:43.620
Um, and it's possible that it's increased even a bit for women too.
01:48:48.660
But, so you think with Roe versus Wade being overturned that there's like a sex strike or
01:48:53.780
Yeah, I feel like a lot of women are just going to have no sex just to keep themselves from
01:49:01.200
And like not having safe healthcare or safe access to abortions, you know?
01:49:06.760
Well, so, um, do you think that would be state dependent though?
01:49:12.580
Because, I mean, certainly in California it's, you can still get an abortion.
01:49:16.460
Whereas if you're in, I think, Ohio, a lot of more Republican states, um, you know, they
01:49:23.000
had laws that as soon, I think it was as soon as Roe v. Wade got repealed, it was like a
01:49:29.000
trigger law or something and then it would be just banned immediately.
01:49:33.380
Um, so you think, you think because of that women are going to have less sex because Roe
01:49:40.300
Definitely, but in those states alone, not in California.
01:49:49.660
I told my boyfriend I wouldn't have sex with him.
01:49:53.300
You told your boyfriend you're not having sex with him?
01:50:20.100
But, but what does him being a man, I mean, what, how did he contribute?
01:50:41.800
Point blank, he could get me pregnant and that's not going to fly with me.
01:50:52.580
You, you've sort of fallen off on this no sex thing.
01:51:00.500
But I mean, even though you're in California, you don't feel that.
01:51:03.660
I mean, you're still, you can still get an abortion in California.
01:51:11.720
But I mean, I suppose in California, what, were you not using condoms before the decision?
01:51:20.980
And so that I don't have, so that we don't have to use condoms.
01:51:24.520
But now it's just like not worth the risk at all.
01:51:33.620
And so the change of heart was because of Roe v. Wade being overturned.
01:51:41.100
It's for everyone that's not able to get an abortion in this country.
01:51:45.140
That it's like, what kind of person am I if I'm just going to like still go crazy even
01:51:59.480
Responsibility and anger and just fucking, it's awful.
01:52:07.860
But so, and what did your boyfriend think when you were like, hey, Roe v. Wade got overturned?
01:52:43.740
We sort of, in our defense, I think we all feel really helpless in this situation.
01:52:48.380
And anything that we can do is doing something.
01:52:54.740
It's just like having the possibility of putting yourself at that risk.
01:53:08.320
I'm not currently like regularly having sex to anyone, but if I was, I would definitely think
01:53:13.180
about how I can minimize and how I can be like protected.
01:53:32.180
And there might be a nice little cowboy, you know, in Arizona.
01:53:38.100
I'm just saying like in Arizona that it might not be as liberal.
01:53:45.260
Yeah, I don't really know what the status is in Arizona, but I think it's definitely not
01:54:08.520
Yeah, so, but so I'm still kind of curious about the sex strike thing.
01:54:14.620
So do you think that like other women should have a sex strike and just not, because of
01:54:20.100
Roe v. Wade being overturned, just, hey, sorry buddy.
01:54:23.700
If they're in a relationship, just no more sex.
01:54:32.180
Uh, so you, you said that when Roe v. Wade got overturned, you're like, you told your
01:54:36.460
boyfriend, hey, I, because of Roe v. Wade being overturned, I don't want to have sex.
01:54:43.980
Yeah, I mean, have you ever paid for a plan B for a girl?
01:55:06.740
But, um, I, yeah, I think I've paid for a plan B before.
01:55:15.600
By the way, we can talk about uncomfortable topics.
01:55:18.940
I think, I've seen a lot of the comments being like, oh, like, she thinks not having sex
01:55:23.120
with her boyfriend is, like, gonna affect SCOTUS.
01:55:28.520
It's about doing something, like, like what Coco said.
01:55:33.620
And that's like, I'm not gonna go into it, but that's not the only thing I'm doing.
01:55:39.280
There's many levels to ways that you can speak out and act against such a thing, like the
01:55:58.780
Will the Roe v. Wade overturn to help the underpopulation growth crisis or hurt it?
01:56:05.240
Seem like there's frequently less people having babies.
01:56:11.440
And, I mean, obviously, Roe v. Wade only applies to the United States, which is a small proportion
01:56:19.140
And so, I mean, and also, in addition to Roe v. Wade being overturned, it's not.
01:56:25.380
Some states still, you can still get an abortion in some states.
01:56:28.320
So, long term, I don't think it'll have a huge impact on underpopulation, but I'm happy
01:56:38.420
to turn it to the panel and if they want to give their take.
01:56:41.240
This is just my opinion, but I think that it could potentially hurt it just because a lot
01:56:46.980
of women are going to be forced to have these children, even if they don't want to, due
01:56:53.000
And, yeah, I mean, unless they have the money to go somewhere where they can get an abortion,
01:57:01.240
even if it's not safe, you know, then other people are going to be forced to have children
01:57:07.220
that, you know, they necessarily might not have wanted to have or the instance just was
01:57:14.440
a little fucked up and they just didn't want to have a child with that person, but they still
01:57:19.620
So, it could potentially hurt the growth crisis.
01:57:28.400
Yeah, I could definitely see it going a few ways.
01:57:35.800
Maybe people would become more intentional and then they would be, you know, they'd be
01:57:42.400
clearer about who they're connecting with and that could, I don't know, that could make
01:57:48.600
the whole sexual connection, like, more intentional overall or people could just refuse to have
01:57:55.780
sex and that would definitely hurt the population.
01:58:01.120
People can start to learn Tantra and the male can actually reabsorb the sperm up and women
01:58:09.240
can have a much better understanding of, like, when they're ovulating or when they're not
01:58:28.640
I don't know enough to say anything constructive about, or, like, to respond to that.
01:58:44.860
Going off of what Coco said, forcing people to do certain things, I think, can also lead
01:58:51.920
to, like, mental health issues, which also can lead to death.
01:58:55.580
So, it could possibly overturn the underpopulation growth if people choose to take, like, the unsafe
01:59:09.800
So, where were we before we got onto this Roe v. Wade thing?
01:59:25.160
So, I think it would be curious to know, like, certainly how this has changed since 2018.
01:59:45.200
I assume it's a poll that was taken within the U.S.
01:59:58.600
Can you show, Chris, can you switch to the next tab?
02:00:10.480
Number of messages received versus recipients' attractiveness.
02:00:18.020
Chris, can you try to mouse over it and just, I think if you control mouse wheel, it'll zoom
02:00:26.460
Oh, a little, a little, a little bigger, Chris.
02:00:31.740
So, fortunately, we're, our screen's kind of blocking a little bit.
02:00:36.920
But so, and this is on the dating app, OkCupid.
02:00:40.200
And it's measuring female recipients versus male recipients.
02:00:45.720
So, you'll see the male recipients line on the very bottom there.
02:00:49.200
And so, basically, what you have is most attractive men are getting about the same messages as the
02:01:00.880
medium attractiveness woman there, it looks like.
02:01:05.220
And then the most attractive women are just getting a ton flooded of messages.
02:01:24.080
And this is, I guess, a study that they had done.
02:01:27.040
I'm not sure the year on it, but how men rate women versus how women rate men on OkCupid.
02:01:33.380
And you'll see that it's, there's a pretty even distribution there on the top.
02:01:47.640
Would you guys agree, like, of the guys that you see on dating apps, like,
02:01:52.820
vast majority of the men you do not think are attractive?
02:02:11.040
Like, I literally, like, put the profile picture as a pineapple.
02:02:24.480
I feel like I haven't been too serious on them.
02:02:27.340
But I do feel like majority, like, wouldn't be people that I would be dating.
02:02:35.680
I think there's, I mean, Hinge is actually pretty good, I think.
02:02:38.740
But when I did the Facebook dating app, like, that was, like, not great.
02:02:46.000
I mean, it is good because it's, like, a bigger pool.
02:02:48.560
But it's not good because it's, like, a lot to filter through, I think.
02:02:52.300
Like, yeah, I mean, I think you know what you're looking for.
02:02:58.660
So, it just depends on what kind of people are on each different app.
02:03:03.300
Because I think Tinder has a certain sort of user pool.
02:03:09.700
And Bumble and Hinge are a little more serious.
02:03:25.660
Like, what percentage of men would you say you swipe left on versus you swipe right?
02:03:35.720
And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
02:03:43.740
I definitely swipe left way more than swiping right.
02:03:46.500
And I think that is one thing I realized about dating apps is that you just get so, you look at the pictures mostly.
02:03:56.060
And if you're not attracted to them, like, physically, you're going to swipe left.
02:04:00.420
But, whereas, people that I've met in person, and I definitely would say I'm more of, like, friends to dating rather than, like, strangers to dating, you know?
02:04:12.200
And so, people that I meet in person, if they're not as attractive but their personality makes up for it, I think it can definitely make someone look way more attractive.
02:04:23.060
And that's the thing about dating sites, I feel like.
02:04:31.020
And you kind of miss out on the ones that are maybe not as attractive but has a golden personality.
02:04:37.940
So, as far as kind of bringing this back to one of the initial questions is, like, who's having more sex, men or women?
02:04:45.600
My take would be, I mean, my take is that I think it's women who are having more sex than men.
02:04:55.940
I think, and one thing you can look at that I think kind of would suggest that this is the case, if guys were getting more consistent sex, they probably wouldn't need, feel the need to go to the strip club.
02:05:10.040
They wouldn't need to pay for OnlyFans, for porn, all this stuff.
02:05:20.900
I think people supporting sex work is like totally different from them like actually having sex with a partner, if that makes sense.
02:05:30.520
So, I'm not saying that a man can't consume sex or, sorry, can't consume porn or can't go to the strip club and also be sexually active.
02:05:39.760
But what I'm saying is, is that these things would be in much less demand if I think men were having more sex or had an easier time getting sex.
02:05:51.620
Because if you were just having sex, I mean, not to say that people don't watch porn when they're, guys don't watch porn if they're dating a girl, but I think it would be much further reduced, especially OnlyFans.
02:06:08.980
I think I watch more porn now that I'm in a relationship and like, than I did when I wasn't in one.
02:06:16.480
Well, is that because of the sex strike though?
02:06:22.880
I just think discovering like people putting content out there and they're like looking to make a living off of it.
02:06:31.380
They're looking to like gain an audience off of like their bodies is like totally acceptable.
02:06:36.900
And I think it should be supported by anyone, regardless of like if you're having sex with someone or not.
02:06:46.040
Well, I'm, I'm not saying that sex work is bad.
02:06:50.320
I'm just saying that men wouldn't turn to it to, you know, to going to strip clubs, paying for porn, paying for OnlyFans if they had more access to sex.
02:07:03.920
Because one of the things that, are you familiar with OnlyFans?
02:07:11.600
Okay, so one of the, I think components of OnlyFans is guys who maybe they just, they can't get a girlfriend, they can't get a relationship.
02:07:19.680
They turn to that because there is a component of OnlyFans, which it's not just about the nude photos, but it's the interaction.
02:07:32.180
And, you know, we had some strippers on last show.
02:07:36.900
And, you know, they report that a lot of guys come, and it's not even so much about a physical thing.
02:07:48.020
They want to have a connection, even if, no, it's serious.
02:07:51.960
It's, I mean, you can laugh, but like, me personally, I'm not a, I don't really go to strip clubs.
02:07:56.640
I went like twice a decade ago out of curiosity.
02:08:01.520
But there are guys that will go to strip clubs to try to have a connection with a woman because they just, they either don't have any real, not all guys.
02:08:10.180
There's certainly guys that are married, they go to strip clubs, whatever.
02:08:13.560
But there are those guys that seek out, they want that connection with a woman, and they go to a strip club to get it.
02:08:27.520
I don't, maybe I don't know of enough guys to have any opinion.
02:08:34.560
Actually, it's definitely a win for him, so you can shut the bucket.
02:08:40.700
But so, I guess, like, what, what, what specifically do you, do you disagree with?
02:08:50.640
Like, I think it's a whole, I mean, I guess, yeah, people are looking for connections, but it's also sort of like an art.
02:08:57.520
Maybe as a woman, I understand it a little bit better than, like, the way that we're, like, showing off our body.
02:09:11.240
No, it's, by the way, if any of you disagree with anything I say, I'm not going to be offended.
02:09:16.380
I think it's totally okay to disagree with you.
02:09:17.800
I just, I guess I can't predict if, like, men were getting more sex, if, like, there would be less men going to strip clubs.
02:09:42.960
So, I would say that as far as it relates to sex work, since we're kind of on that topic, what, Brian Cap, I saw him at the strip club last week.
02:10:03.340
By the way, Will Smith, where's your buddy Bill Gates?
02:10:05.820
Because last show, you and Bill Gates were getting into it, so maybe, I don't know, maybe he's somewhere else.
02:10:14.860
Kind of just to riff on the topic of sex work, do you think it would be okay for a guy to not want to date a girl or take seriously a girl who hadn't OnlyFans or was a stripper?
02:10:38.380
Oh, I mean, whatever people are comfortable with.
02:10:41.820
If that's too risky or uncomfortable for them, then that's totally understandable.
02:10:51.140
But you wouldn't find it objectionable for a guy to say, you know what, if a girl, she did porn, she did OnlyFans, she was a stripper, I don't want to date her.
02:11:07.580
But I think people who are in that, like, field have the capability of maintaining a committed relationship.
02:11:14.180
It's just people aren't willing to realize that.
02:11:22.560
Like, they're more than just partner and partner relationships.
02:11:31.860
And there's certainly some guys out there, I think, that won't have an issue dating a woman who did porn.
02:11:39.260
But I do think for, I think a good amount of men for a serious relationship, I think they would have an issue.
02:12:00.240
In the same way that, you know, you might have a preference for a guy to meet certain standards, it might be a preference or a standard or boundary for a guy to say, I don't want a girl who is on stage showing her hoo-ha.
02:12:20.960
Or I don't want a girl who's having sex on camera or who even had sex on camera in the past.
02:12:34.880
Let's go around the table and just get people's thoughts on this.
02:12:59.040
So, Samantha, do you want to answer the question?
02:13:05.760
So, would you take issue or object to a guy having a problem with a girl's past in terms
02:13:17.960
of if she's had an OnlyFans, if she's had, she did porn, et cetera?
02:13:25.380
Well, I think, you know, I feel like when you're picking your partner, it's like, what
02:13:38.220
I don't necessarily know if it's just because the woman's doing that.
02:13:43.120
Like, because I think some guys might love that, you know?
02:13:45.760
Some guys might be like, oh, my gosh, like, I love that my girlfriend does that, you know?
02:13:50.720
And there's other people that would just trigger all of their jealousy or insecurities and just
02:13:57.080
probably wouldn't be an appropriate relationship for that person, but maybe it would be amazing
02:14:03.780
And I think you kind of already answered that, Big D.
02:14:11.240
I kind of, I don't know, because I feel like in a way you want to, if you don't, I guess
02:14:21.620
it is different to have respect for someone and then if they would be, like, a dating partner.
02:14:30.500
Like, I guess there would be some occupations that I wouldn't want, like, my boyfriend to
02:14:36.960
So, as long as you don't have, like, you don't look down on someone or, like, disrespect them
02:14:42.120
for the job that they have or how they make their money.
02:14:48.240
And you mentioned that, like, there would maybe be some jobs that you wouldn't want your
02:14:55.140
I'm trying to think of, like, what would be, but maybe if it was more just, like, a stability
02:15:05.040
thing, like, maybe if he's, like, a freelancer or something and it's not, like, very reliable,
02:15:10.840
Like, I probably wouldn't prefer to have a partner that is a freelancer, I guess.
02:15:18.220
There's no problem with being a freelancer, though.
02:15:20.220
A guy who's a freelancer, like, a journalist or just photographer?
02:15:24.200
Or just, like, I guess it doesn't have, like, it has different gigs, I guess.
02:15:37.780
Why don't we just read that and then we'll wrap up.
02:15:39.640
If you guys want to have one last question to ask the panel, feel free to get your super
02:16:06.520
I know, Brooke, you probably agree with this statement.
02:16:10.020
Well, I'm literally listening to a murder podcast right now where he's, like, literally, like,
02:16:14.640
kills sex workers, which is not just cringe, but fucking awful.
02:16:25.780
I have a friend who brags about how he gets, like, free premium OnlyFans content from being
02:16:33.080
on, like, dating apps, like being on Bumble, and people will just kind of, like, throw it
02:16:41.800
Samantha, agree with this statement or disagree?
02:16:49.320
Yeah, I'm not sure what, well, hung up on sex work.
02:16:52.380
I would think of it as, like, some of these comments here that are, like, I would never.
02:17:09.800
If you're just, like, absolutely not because she's a sex worker, like, come on.
02:17:15.240
But I guess we have to sort of figure out hung up in what sense.
02:17:20.480
Like, is that, is that just in response to, like, some guys would have an issue dating
02:17:26.960
Um, I think it's that they don't date women because they live their whole sex life online.
02:17:36.300
The men or the women live their whole sex life online?
02:17:40.320
Like, they literally, like, that's kind of what an incel is.
02:17:43.700
They, like, just kind of live online and don't actually communicate with real life.
02:17:50.240
But, I mean, most women aren't sex workers, though.
02:17:52.500
No, I know, but they kind of live their sex life, like, through their computer screen
02:18:00.040
because they think that, like, paying for all this premium content is, like, them, like,
02:18:12.400
But, like, I mean, but also, I mean, all these sex workers, like, what a blessing, right?
02:18:16.860
Because it's, like, they release so much pressure for all of these men.
02:18:21.480
And it's, like, if we didn't have them, who knows what else would be going on, you know?
02:18:27.220
It's, like, why put all the stigma on something that's just touch and pleasurable, you know?
02:18:33.020
I think that there's just caked on religious programming around sexuality.
02:18:39.040
And, but actually, it's, you're just having a deep connection with somebody.
02:18:43.260
Obviously, like, you know, they get very dramatic or whatever in that.
02:18:53.720
So, wait, you think that there, so you don't think that a guy having a problem,
02:19:02.780
like, dating a woman who's at, who's done porn, done sex work, done OnlyFans,
02:19:08.920
like, so you're not okay with it or you think it's cringe if a guy, like, has an issue with it?
02:19:18.560
It's, like, I mean, the person can decide if he wants to date this person or not.
02:19:25.560
But I just mean, like, celebrating the women that do do sex work because it's, like, a really big job, you know?
02:19:34.700
I don't think that women should be, like, necessarily shamed for doing sex work or anything.
02:19:41.600
But I do think that in the same way that women are allowed to have preferences, standards, boundaries,
02:19:49.080
I think men are totally within their right to say, hey, I wouldn't want to have her look.
02:19:59.140
But as far as what I'd want in a partner, I wouldn't want to date, have a long-term relationship with a girl who did porn, did sex work.
02:20:08.900
So, I don't know if it's, when you say hung up on sex work or cringe, I mean, I don't know if hung up,
02:20:18.300
I think it's actually a perfectly reasonable stance for a guy to say, hey, I just don't want to date a woman who has done sex work.
02:20:29.720
It's not necessarily a judgment on sex work, but as far as what you want in a partner, I think it's a pretty reasonable thing.
02:20:38.100
But I think if everything is absolutely perfect with the person and the only reason you don't want to date them is because they're a sex worker,
02:20:47.840
I think that is the result of stigma of sex work.
02:20:57.340
It's like you don't want to date them because you look down on sex work.
02:21:01.560
If she is perfect in every way and the only reason you don't want to date her is because she's a sex worker.
02:21:10.960
I guess there's varying levels of sex work, right?
02:21:13.900
Like, I think it'd be perfectly reasonable if the girl you're talking to, she's an active porn actress,
02:21:23.460
I think it's perfectly reasonable as a guy to say, I enjoy monogamy.
02:21:28.020
I would not be comfortable with you sleeping with other men while we're intimate.
02:21:35.820
I see what you're saying, but I also do think in her eyes, obviously, this is my opinion, too.
02:21:42.280
In her eyes, like, she's not in a relationship with those people.
02:21:50.080
So you're saying a monogamy-sexual relationship?
02:21:53.380
I mean, most monogamous relationships, when we speak about monogamy, we are speaking kind of the holistic.
02:21:59.440
We're speaking sexually when we're speaking about monogamous relationships.
02:22:04.400
I mean, certainly there's an emotional component.
02:22:06.360
Like, if you're flirting with a guy, you're not having sex with him, that could be considered cheating.
02:22:10.820
But, I mean, I think that's sort of the ultimate way cheating would manifest itself, at least as viewed by men.
02:22:19.880
If you're in a monogamous relationship with a girl and she's sleeping with other men, you're not really in a monogamous relationship.
02:22:33.360
I don't really think she's emotionally invested in it.
02:22:52.740
Then I guess at that point, they're just not the right people for each other.
02:23:01.660
At that point, it's kind of like, why would you be together?
02:23:05.520
But you think that it would be okay if you're in a monogamous relationship, but she's a porn...
02:23:18.340
At that point, it's not really a monogamous relationship, is it?
02:23:21.320
I think they would, they themselves, as this actress or the porn star, would find it to just strictly be her job.
02:23:36.780
So to them, it wouldn't be a threat to their relationship.
02:23:40.980
But so would there be an expectation on the guy to not sleep with other women?
02:23:51.640
But so what you're saying is that she's a porn star.
02:23:57.320
What if it's not emotional for him, but he's not a porn star?
02:24:03.560
I also think it's like, also, if you think about it, it's a job, and he's not doing it as a job.
02:24:15.300
And if the guy knows going in, like, but it's not going to, as far as I'm concerned, it's not a monogamous relationship.
02:24:25.860
Like, it's just not, it can't be a monogamous relationship.
02:24:31.760
It could be unilaterally, like, she's sleeping with all these other guys.
02:24:39.000
I mean, I suppose that, I don't think that's a great scenario for the guy, but.
02:24:49.420
I think if he can handle it, that's so great, awesome.
02:24:53.380
If he can't, then what's the point of, like, being jealous or, like, being salty about her doing her job?
02:25:06.960
But do you think that a guy who wouldn't want to date a woman.
02:25:20.940
I wouldn't be willing to date a woman who was actively, you know, sleeping with other men for her porn career.
02:25:29.660
I think it's fine to say I would never date someone that was a porn star.
02:25:34.420
But if you're going to get jealous about it, if you enter a relationship and then get, like, upset about it, then that's your problem to deal with.
02:25:42.980
I mean, if she's disclosed that she does porn, you kind of, it's what you're signing up for, you know.
02:25:48.740
You can't really, you know, say, hey, I didn't know this was going to be the case.
02:25:54.820
Like, so we got some interesting comments coming through.
02:25:58.280
Chris, we're going to wrap up the show here in just a couple minutes.
02:26:01.340
Chris, can you just pull up the few super chats we received?
02:26:06.020
We have a super chat here from someone that wants to know a little more about you, Brian.
02:26:18.320
Brian, I watched you a lot back in high school around 2013.
02:26:25.980
So we actually did our first interview podcast yesterday.
02:26:30.280
I had a ex-convict, ex-gang member on, did a really cool in-depth interview with him.
02:26:49.460
So once a week, I'm going to be doing an interview show, bring on an interesting guest, one-on-one,
02:26:56.380
And then I'm doing this dating talk show, which will be like twice a week.
02:27:00.340
And yeah, I would just bring on a panel and just shoot the shit about dating for a little bit.
02:27:09.700
He also asked, thank you, by the way, for the $2 super chat.
02:27:21.120
A lot of people thought Andrea was my sister, but honestly, I haven't talked to Andrea in like six, seven years now.
02:27:40.960
So I think that's it, Chris, with the super chats.
02:28:05.160
Hey, man, Munico, really appreciate the support, man.
02:28:11.400
And you can switch back to the other thing, Chris.
02:28:23.320
She told us in the beginning, too, that she would have to leave.
02:28:24.580
Yeah, but, well, no, it sounded like she, something about getting a ride home or something.
02:28:28.700
I think it was getting a bit too heated for her.
02:28:32.140
I think she was on her phone and got a message and needed to go.
02:28:35.160
Yeah, it was a little, yeah, she's on her phone, it's a little abrupt, so I don't know.
02:28:48.860
We have our next show Thursday at 7 p.m. Pacific.
02:28:53.240
So in two days, we're going to be doing another dating talk show.