Dating Talk #40
Episode Stats
Length
3 hours and 53 minutes
Words per Minute
177.5444
Hate Speech Sentences
454
Summary
In this episode of Whatever Dating Talk, host Brian Atlas and co-host Kiki talk about their experiences with dating apps, current relationships, and much more! Join us every Tuesday and Thursday at 7pm PT for a new episode of whatever dating talk.
Transcript
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La donna è mobile, qual piuma il vento, muta d'accento e di pensiero.
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Sempre un'amabile, legge addroviso, impianto in briso e menzognero.
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La donna è mobile, qual piuma il vento, muta d'accento e di pensiero.
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La donna è mobile, qual piuma il vento, muta d'accento e di pensiero.
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Welcome to the Whatever Dating Talk podcast, coming to you live from Santa Barbara, California.
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Every Tuesday and Thursday at 7pm Pacific, I'm your host, Brian Atlas.
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So a few quick announcements before the show begins.
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This channel is viewer supported, so please consider sending a super chat throughout the show.
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All super chats will be displayed in stream overlay.
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To become a channel member, hit the join button below.
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We have six different tiers of support, a ton of perks.
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We are only seven memberships away from unlocking our next emoji slot, so help us out, guys.
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Also, you can see all the super chat and membership gifting triggers in the description.
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We're also streaming to Twitch right now, twitch.tv slash whatever.
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If you want to be on the show or help with the show, DM at whatever on Instagram.
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We need chat mods, help with timestamps, maybe some clip stuff, studio hands, talent coordinator, etc.
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Anyways, without further ado, we're going to have the guests introduce themselves,
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so please tell us your name, age, occupation, and or school major.
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I'm currently a hostess at a restaurant and major is communications.
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I'm 34, and I am a travel and fashion assistant.
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I am a stand-up comedian, and I also work at a tech startup.
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So, guys, everyone's Instagrams are in the description.
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Also, my Instagram is there, so ladies with a large labia DM me.
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I downloaded Bumble for the last podcast, and I guess I'm single.
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I am on one dating app as of recently, and my longest relationship was a year and a half.
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I'm what you consider it's complicated on Facebook, but I am in a relationship probably for about three years now.
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Okay, so things are complicated, but it's been three years.
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I am on Bumble and Hinge, and my longest relationship, right?
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Last you were on, weren't you in a relationship?
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Maturity level was just the biggest difference.
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You're not on any dating apps, so I guess we can't do this with you.
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So we have the screenshots from the dating apps.
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And you said you're in a kind of a relationship.
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You're in a relationship, but you're on dating apps, correct?
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No, anything from like high school, college is not...
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I don't consider it like serious because I feel like that's a distraction.
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When you're with a significant other and you're trying to go to school, I always tell people
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While you're in college, I felt like it was a distraction for me.
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I'm always on focus on you first before you give somebody else your attention.
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Okay, but you've been in a three-year relationship.
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And I'm 34, so you're coming back from the time when we wrote letters in school to where
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send your friend, send your friend to go talk to this girl, and now here we are.
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It's so easy to dispose of somebody through a swipe.
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So I had a successful one from Tinder and Bumble.
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So does anyone else currently have any situationships?
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You might not be in a full-blown relationship, but you have a situationship.
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So your vibing continues with the same person or different person?
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How long have you been vibing with the said person?
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Has there been a push either from you or from him to solidify the relationship?
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You've wanted to take the next step, so to speak.
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But, like, I just want a little bit more, you know, feelings and respect.
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And you feel like you're not getting that from her.
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Just, like, everyone else is just not as appealing.
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The way that we just talk and chill, you know, and, like, have fun.
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But, Eric, we can't see anything on the monitor here.
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I kind of want to start with the dating app review here.
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Eric, you're probably going to have to switch it because the thing probably got scuffed.
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Actually, before you do that, let me do super chats here.
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Ask the girls if they would date Anakin after he killed the younglings.
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Can you grab that water bottle that's on the ground, somebody?
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It's going to fucking bother me the whole show.
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If anyone is wondering what that means, Marines just have a reputation of being stupid and
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But couldn't you say that people in the Air Force, they're pencil pushers?
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So each stereotype in the military is pretty spot on.
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And the Army is kind of run like a corporation.
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And the Marines are kind of run like a religion.
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So you guys were wondering, by the way, George, good to see you again.
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For some reason, I don't know if you caught this.
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If you cannot, George, can you DM me on Instagram at whatever?
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We seem to have had an issue with your very generous gifted memberships from last week.
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I don't know if you real, if you notice this during the stream, you gifted 20 memberships,
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but I think only six people were, and this isn't your fault.
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This is YouTube, only six people were awarded the gifted memberships.
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So I wanted to troubleshoot that with you and see if there's something on your end that happened.
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Like maybe you can look and see if it only for some reason kicked back some of the memberships that you gifted.
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But send me a DM at whatever on Instagram if you're down to help us troubleshoot that.
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By the way, guys, is the frame rate looking a little off?
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We've been having some weird technical issues with the show tonight.
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So does the frame rate look off or is my fucking Akito?
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Just a reminder, guys, we'll do $10 and up for the Super Chats.
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Would you date a guy your age if he told you he was a virgin and never had a girlfriend?
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I feel like it would depend if he had, like, the confidence or, like, the riz.
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But, like, it depends on a lot of other things.
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I'm willing to be a teacher for somebody for a first-timer.
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I was going to say, when I was younger, like, yes.
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But at 35, if there's still a virgin, that's...
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No, I feel like, yes, if it was a good guy, it just depends.
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I mean, I feel like a lot of you say that, but how old are you, Sophia?
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Like, probably, like, if a guy is a virgin, even at 21, 22, I probably, you're going to...
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I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but I think most women are probably going to
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He's probably not bringing something to the table to still be a virgin at that age.
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Like, there's some guys that just are waiting for the right one, and, like, if that's really
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So, I kind of think, as time goes on, it's really more about motivation than anything else,
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and so if someone's just not motivated to seek out relationships or even sex, I'm like,
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something's off, like, something's not right, you know?
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Like, you've gone two of your best decades of your life, you're in your prime, and you've
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Because, like, I think that a lot of, like, you have to think about, okay, who is that
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By the way, I don't want to come off like I'm, don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not
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shaming men who are virgins or who have difficulty when it comes to dating or getting laid, that's
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not what I'm saying, but most women are probably, you have to think, like, he's not, the guy
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who's the virgin's probably not going to be the guy who's tall, good-looking, confident,
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ambitious, like, socially calibrated, like, that's probably not going to be that guy.
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Now, there are some people, for either spiritual or religious reasons, they might be waiting
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Zach, what are your, any thoughts on this, Zach?
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If I was dating a girl my age, and that wasn't, or just, yeah, just that, I mean, we can reverse
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it for us, but, well, let's, let's, before we reverse it, just your take, if you have one.
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My take on, I would say, yeah, 35 is a little weird, there's no doubting that, but, I would
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say if the guy's intentions were saving it for marriage, I say, I say that's a plus
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for that guy, because it's showing him that, he's waiting for you to show, like, earn the
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Yeah, it's really, well, around here, it's rare.
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I guess, I want to, before we give our take on the reverse, let's say you met a great guy,
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Like, are you going to wait until marriage, or is that something, like, you need to have
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See, I feel like you can't just wait until marriage, like, that, I don't, I don't like
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that saying, I'm going to wait until marriage to have sex with the right person, because
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what if you do that, and you're not great in bed, and now, because you need marriage,
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you need communication to have this relationship to work, and if the sex is bad, then, like,
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now you're lagging, and that person's going to be, like me, going off to look for some other
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I feel like, as physical touch being my love language, like, or a part of it, like,
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could you incorporate enough of that into it, so that I'm not, like, looking elsewhere,
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Because if you don't, that's probably not going to work out.
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Okay, but so would that be a deal breaker if the guy says, I want to wait until marriage?
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I mean, some people get married fairly quickly, let's say, I don't want to do that at all.
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Personally, I feel like, like, how I was raised, if a guy wants to wait until marriage, that's
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a sign of respect for you, like, he really does care about you, and wants to do things
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Yeah, so it's like, being raised in that religion, that's like, it teaches me, like,
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oh, the guy respects you enough to wait for you to be married, because that's how the
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But, like, I don't understand, though, because you're waiting, you don't have to wait until
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marriage to show that I respect you, you know what I'm saying?
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Like, I understand that, but, and that doesn't give me more value.
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It's just, like, he's not forcing you to do something you're not comfortable with.
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But if it's his decision, and you actually be fucking, then what?
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You guys definitely need to be on the same page with that, 100% for that to work.
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I mean, I think it's a little old-fashioned, but it's cool, like, it's, like, old-fashioned
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You gotta know what you're doing in bed, like, I can't have some man just waiting around
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for me, like, you need to go practice first, then come.
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I don't know, I feel like, personally, like, I agree, like, physical touch is, like, a love
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language, and I just feel, like, personally, I'd overthink it to the point where it's,
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like, okay, well, what if we do have sex, and it's horrible, and, like, we don't have
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that sexual attraction, and then it's, like, it turns into, like, an ick, and you just don't
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Okay, and Lauren, I assume for you, it's a no-go, or?
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I may just be really dumb, but I feel like if it was the right person, I might, I, I mean,
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if, if, if they're religious, and, like, that's something that's really important to
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them, and, like, we're just great together in every other way, like, maybe in some alternate
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Okay, so a couple of you said that if the sex is bad, then that's, that's a wrap, right?
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So I'm curious, my follow-up question to this is, if the sex is bad, the first time you
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have sex is bad, is there not going to be a second time, or are you going to give him
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I feel like I would, like, try to give it a chance and, like, try to see if you can get
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it to be good, but if it just doesn't end up happening, then it's like, no, like, I'm sorry.
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Okay, and so would you, if the guy's initial performance wasn't up to par, let's say, what
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Are you going to tell him, or are you just going to say, you're going to hope he figures
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I'm, like, very sexually open with my partner, so it's like, if they're not doing something,
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like, you know, or, like, if they want to know things, it's like, okay, like, do this,
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It's like, open communication and just, like, you know, let them know what to do right.
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I mean, there's always a chance to learn, so I'm not going to disregard him for that.
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I would say I'd give it a few attempts, but I do have to say, in my experience, that
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if it's bad right away, it usually continues in that vein for the duration of the relationship.
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If the first time hooking up with a guy, if it's bad, the sex is bad, is it a wrap?
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I mean, if the sex was bad, I would be really scared.
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Okay, so you said you would never let it get to that point.
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If you're messing with somebody, then it has to already be built up to the moment that
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That's not going to be bad sex if you've been waiting to have sex with someone.
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Yeah, so I believe the way I stand on this is the covenant of marriage and you working
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If you guys are both on that same page and it's not good the first time, I know for
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a fact if you guys communicate and kind of venture it that way with that special connection
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that you guys have built up of trust and communicating, you know how each other work and everything,
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I feel like that's a way bigger connection than it could leave.
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And then also that's a better sign out of respect for each other that it can last a lot longer
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than you just hooking up with some guy and then having a few-month relationship.
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I mean, I guess basically, yeah, if you did have that, it would just be memorable.
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Because I say, like, with the covenant of marriage, it kind of goes over people's heads,
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but it is really important to have that and, like, that first, like, initial connection
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and, like, you respect that person and you want to do life with them, sex is just on
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You guys can definitely work that out if you really love them.
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Like, how are you going to talk about the covenant of marriage and you're talking about
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Please articulate what you would do to help a guy who just, you know.
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Oh, Eric, can you switch the audio to, you're going to have to go to the bottom right corner
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But, like, if it was, like, something I could physically show them, you know, like, you'd
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physically show them, like, what could work better.
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Or, like, just talk about, like, oh, like, I like this.
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But, like, yeah, just communicate what you want with your partner, I feel like.
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And then you should find a way to make that work.
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And if it's something that you physically can't come to an agreement on or, like, something,
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Or you guys, like, both stop trying, then it just doesn't work.
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And I'm guessing that's, like, coming from you guys.
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Like, if you marry someone, wait until marriage, marry someone, and then that happens, that's,
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I think, partly, I think sex is partly learned.
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And so, you know, like, like you said, like, maybe you had to teach them something, but
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it doesn't mean, like, it's a no, no go, I guess, how you're saying it.
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You're being a little bit, like, like, aggressive.
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Like, oh, it's bad sex, so I'm never going to talk to them again?
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His question is, how would you communicate that with your partner?
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Probably just learning to grow our relationship, because I think that's where sex comes from.
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Like, you know, like, having good, intimate passion between, like, your whole relationship
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I'm literally, like, I like to, like, have a crush and, like, work for a crush.
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But I might be a little bit of a hopeless romantic.
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I thought maybe you had some, uh, some details behind the scenes.
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Well, I mean, I would say this as far as, like, the being bad in bed thing.
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Um, do you think it's harder to be good in bed as a man or as a woman?
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Like, in order to have an orgasm, like, I need to be the same way, like, the vibes that
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I definitely feel like it depends on the person for sure, like, how much they think
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Generally speaking, is it harder for men or for a guy or a girl to be good in bed?
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I feel like it'd probably be harder for a man, honestly.
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I feel like it's duh because there's so many different types of penises that girls are
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picky about and then there's the women with their fat, juicy coochie and everybody just
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Like, it kind of, like, is according to how much effort the girl puts in, like, because
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And it's like you act like it was bad for a guy
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That's not how a guy's dating profile looks like
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He's saying that he's hotter than you on a good day
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Do you think that you can get it with a guy who is a 10
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I actually have a lot of characteristics that somebody would want around
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If he's fine and he has a bigger pool to swim in you know
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My confidence goes a little bit lower over there in that section
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But you both think you can get with a guy who's a 10
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One of the problems with the dating marketplace right now
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You gotta bring more than just looks to the table
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Like if you're a 10 because you're a fuckboy and you look good
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What would you guys say is the primary thing that men look for in women
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Probably a girl that they feel like is like their friend
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The girls that they really like is like their homies
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Tried it and if they always turn in love with is their homies
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You could start it like oh this is a friendship
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But if they have you for too long and you're a 10
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Then at the end of this they're gonna wanna fuck
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Eric did I miss the subsequent gifted memberships from George
01:25:14.900
Um yo George thank you for the $10 soup chat man
01:25:43.420
It's like the main three things that guys look for
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One of the most attractive things a girl can do
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There's not necessarily an expectation of loyalty or commitment
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Honestly the hottest fucking thing a girl can do is say
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They're sleeping with one, two, three other people
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I'm not gonna have sexual relations with somebody
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Like for me I shouldn't be looking for commitment
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So I understand that y'all are saying that we have higher standards
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Like maybe I'm thinking about how I want this to affect me
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I want to go meet this woman and have babies with her
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I'm gonna say that you're probably gonna look at
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So you were upset with the numbers thing right?
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I was saying what does the numbers have to do with love?
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But you want to talk about numerical measurements
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Like oh I would never date anyone shorter than me
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But I've definitely taken the time out of my life
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So some part of that personality had to overcome
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I know that has nothing to do with what you're saying
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And maybe I have an unreasonable standard on this