Dating Talk #42
Episode Stats
Length
3 hours and 19 minutes
Words per Minute
165.45038
Hate Speech Sentences
262
Summary
In this episode of Whatever Happened, I sit down with three college students in Santa Barbara, California to talk about college life, dating, and college life in general. We talk about their experience in college and what it's like to be a college student in the Santa Barbara area.
Transcript
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La donna è mobile, qual piuma il vento, muta d'accento e di pensiero.
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Sempre un'amabile, legge addroviso, impianto in riso e menzognero.
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La donna è mobile, qual piuma il vento, muta d'accento e di pensiero.
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La donna è mobile, qual piuma il vento, muta d'accento e di pensiero.
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So, I make nearly nothing from ad revenue, so please consider sending a Super Chat throughout the show.
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All Super Chats will be displayed in Stream Overlay.
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And Eric, if you're able to just pull up the tab.
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Hit the little Super Chat button, Eric, there in the chat.
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Yeah, so guys, if you want to Super Chat, you hit that button.
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And then you can Super Chat all the way from $1 all the way to $500.
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And then if you X out of that, we also have channel memberships, excuse me.
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And, yeah, if you hit that Join button, you're able to join.
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And if you become a member or gift subs, we will give you guys a shout out.
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And also in the description, you can see all the Super Chat and membership gifting triggers in the description.
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If you have one available, drop us a Prime sub.
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If you have Amazon Prime, you can link it to a Twitch account.
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And every month, you can sub totally free on Twitch.
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And lastly, if you want to be on the show or help with the show, DM at whatever on Instagram.
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Need chat mods, timestamps, studio hand, talent coordinator.
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So, without further ado, we're going to have the guests introduce themselves.
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So, please tell us your name, age, occupation, and or school major.
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I'm 24, and I'm a volunteer coordinator for a nonprofit.
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I play basketball and major in psychology at Santa Barbara City College.
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I'm 21, and I'm currently a criminology major at SBCC.
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I'm 23, and I am currently a preschool teacher.
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I never see this angle so close zoomed up on me.
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It's because I'm the, I guess, the only one on this side.
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But, anyways, everyone's Instagrams are in the description.
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So, going around the table once more, tell me your current relationship status, your longest
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And, also, just, I don't know if any of you have heard of Seeking.
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Seeking, I've mainly got spam on it, so I ended my account.
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No, but recently someone asked me to be a dominatrix for them, so that was pretty interesting.
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Did you say yes, or what's, it's in the works, or what?
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My longest relationship was seven years, and I'm on Tinder.
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You've had the, come on, you've had a Sugar Daddy.
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Maybe, maybe like some sort, not like what the typical Sugar Daddy arrangement you would
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My longest relationship was like three to four years, and I'm not currently on any dating
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Um, I'm currently in a relationship, and the longest relationship I've been in, I think,
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was two, two and a half years, and I'm not on any dating apps.
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Um, I'm on Hinge right now, and I, my longest relationship was three and a half years.
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So, um, you're single, but never been on a dating app?
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Okay, so, haven't even downloaded Tinder, just out of curiosity.
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Well, guys, so, um, three of the girls so kindly provided their, uh, we got some screenshots
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of their dating app profiles, so we're going to be doing a review, uh, a little bit later
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So, um, just a question, of those of you who said you were single, which is the four of
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you, besides, well, besides Gabby, um, are you truly single, is my first question.
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Do you, well, okay, I'll ask some clarifying questions here.
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Do you currently have a sneaky link, and we'll start with you.
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But you, you got someone you're kind of, kind of seeing, right?
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How many, when you say a few, we talking four, five, what are we talking?
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Um, maybe like, currently seeing, that's a, that's a hard statement.
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So do you have like one on Tuesday, one on Wednesday, one on.
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And is it, are you, boys and girls or just, just guys?
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So, when was the last time that you were, when did your relationship end?
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You said you were in like a three to four year relationship?
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Like, you know, um, not even a rebound, just like me, just being single, having fun.
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And then like, it just, right now it just, or a while ago, everyone disappeared.
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So, isn't it, if you have an OnlyFans, you would never admit to your fans that you have
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Um, I did have a boyfriend at one time when I was doing OnlyFans and I was open about
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If a customer comes, if a customer comes in and he's talking to you, maybe he's going
00:10:05.820
If you, let's say you do have a boyfriend, what would you tell him?
00:10:08.920
Back when I first started and I was like a baby stripper and I didn't know any better,
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I would tell the truth and be like, yeah, I have a boyfriend.
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It depends really on the customer too, like what they're looking for.
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But then eventually I just stopped because it like stops a lot of like awkward questions.
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Do you think that they would spend less money on you if you didn't have a boyfriend?
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Is it four or five as much as your friend here?
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I would say like probably two or three that I consistently like talk to and go on dates
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You're going on dates with, but you're not hooking up.
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I'm trying not to like ruin my options by having sex like off the bat.
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So as of right now, I'm just like trying to go on dates with people.
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So you think it would ruin your options if you had sex too soon?
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I think a lot of men don't really respect women if you give it up too freely.
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I could be wrong, but that's been, I feel like a lot of my friends and my experience.
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That, I don't know, I've been ghosted many times after I like gave it up too easily or
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So like you hook up the first time and then you just never hear from them again.
00:12:04.520
Like same day you meet, you do it and then they're gone or what?
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Or is it even like, even if you've done one, two, three, four dates and then you have sex,
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Like if the first day I hooked up, then gone and then also been on a few dates, they actually
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spent money on me and they still like, kind of like, I'm like, you're just wasting your
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time at that point and wasting your money especially.
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I want to open sort of that up to the rest of the panel.
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Um, here, let's, while we start, we'll go around like this.
00:13:00.320
So you're, I think your initial point was something like.
00:13:04.100
Men don't like respect you if you give it up earlier or like that's what you tend to experience.
00:13:09.980
Um, I mean, I was in a relationship for a really long time.
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So, I mean, I'm not looking for a relationship.
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So, if I'm hanging out with a guy, it's just to like, have fun and not anything serious.
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But, if I was looking for a relationship, maybe I would like, wait a little bit.
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So, you've never hooked up with a guy and then he.
00:13:51.260
I think we hooked up like, like one of the first few times we met.
00:14:02.340
I think, um, I haven't had the experience of like, like the relationship I was in.
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We hooked up the first night and then we were together for three years.
00:14:17.020
Um, when I was single, I didn't really experience that.
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Like, that didn't really make too much of a difference for me.
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But, my relationship now is like, we hooked up one of like the first few times we hang out.
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I have mixed experience about it because I've asked, um, men with their opinions on that.
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Um, if they respect a woman less, if we give it up too easily.
00:14:55.420
Um, and I would say I've experienced the same thing.
00:14:58.800
Some, like, of her experience of where it's almost like they respect you less.
00:15:06.660
And some from the other experience as well, where some people just don't care.
00:15:10.720
And if the guy's sleeping with you on the first date too, like, who is he to judge if
00:15:22.760
Well, it's a little different, don't you think?
00:15:33.020
Like, men, like, will hook up with you if you want to hook up.
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They're like, that whore, she slept with me on the first date.
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It's, if, it could just be, hey, she's just really into me.
00:15:52.880
I feel like most men would think of it more like, oh my God, I just got laid.
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They're not like, oh my God, she slept with me on the first date.
00:16:00.940
Like, they're like, yeah, I just got some pussy.
00:16:05.460
It's more like I would not continue to pursue her because she gave it up so easily.
00:16:15.460
Some guys are definitely going to think if she hooks up with me too soon, then she's just,
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you'll never view her in the relationship category.
00:16:25.240
But I think a lot of guys too, like we, a lot of guys don't care.
00:16:29.860
Like, if you hook up with, if, if, depends on what their intention is.
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So if their intention going in is like, you could potentially see something with this girl,
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So would you, if a girl hooked up with you on your first date, like, would you look at her differently
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or would you potentially like make her your girlfriend?
00:16:49.980
It wouldn't deter me from wanting to take her seriously in my case.
00:16:54.460
Now, if she's promiscuous, that's something else.
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So I think you can hook up with someone relatively quickly and also not be super promiscuous.
00:17:04.840
Cause look, a lot of guys don't want a girl who's sleeping around with a bunch of other dudes.
00:17:12.860
I don't know how soon into the podcast you guys want to get into the body count stuff,
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but a lot of guys, whether you like it or not, body counts important.
00:17:25.160
So, uh, you can have a low body count and still hook up with someone relatively quickly.
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So, uh, you know, we're going to, we're going to be looking at other indicators of,
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Like, is this girl long-term potential than just how quickly did she hook up with me?
00:17:49.160
So you're dating like four or five dudes, three, a couple of dudes, a couple of guys, a couple
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And, but you're not hooking up with any of them because you don't want them to judge
00:18:10.960
You said that you're seeing a couple of people, but you're not really hooking up with them
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because you've had these experiences where you hook up and they're gone.
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Like whoever you are like hooking up with, you take some of like their energy with you,
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And if there's no trust aspect in it, then I don't feel comfortable like proceeding basically.
00:19:07.520
So do you guys, have you guys heard about the soul thing?
00:19:25.940
I view sex as one of the most vulnerable and intimate aspects of yourself.
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So if you don't feel comfortable having like an in-depth conversation of how you feel safe
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and secure, then how are you allowing somebody like that into your body?
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And also there's a lot of STDs like going around.
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And if you don't feel comfortable saying something along that line, then like why are you having sex?
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You're too young to have sex if you can't talk about like STIs and how you're being safe and if you're getting tested or not.
00:20:10.900
Here, we'll kind of come back to that a little bit later on in the show.
00:20:14.020
But so we missed a couple super chats, guys, from last show.
00:20:20.100
So I just want to pull these up just because – and then I'll do the super chats that have come in so far today.
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By the way, you guys, all super chats will be displayed in the stream overlay.
00:20:38.520
So for some reason, my – I'm trying to find who we missed.
00:21:00.640
To the panel, do you think the opposite sex has it easier in general?
00:21:14.540
So do you think the opposite sex has it easier in general?
00:21:23.140
I think men also have their struggles that, as a woman, I wouldn't be able to understand.
00:21:31.660
I do think that they have a lot of things that – like, they don't have the pink tacks, like, if I want to get a razor or –
00:21:41.680
So if – basically, razors, pads – sorry, scratch that.
00:21:51.540
Basically, things that girls use that guys also use, such as razors, because they're a different color, there's a higher tax on them.
00:22:06.000
Pads and medication that helps with periods, that's labeled as a luxury product, not a necessity.
00:22:18.620
Well, birth control isn't labeled as a necessity for women anymore, and now businesses don't have to pay for it.
00:22:31.640
I know I went off topic from what the question was, but I feel like it in ties.
00:22:43.640
Chat, is this angle, like – is it too zoomed in?
00:22:46.960
I feel like it's way too zoomed in in comparison to the girl angle.
00:22:51.400
Yo, okay, one in the chat, if it's scuffed, or two in the chat, if the angle difference is okay.
00:23:09.260
Yeah, by the way, Eric, just leave this one up.
00:23:23.900
What – is zooming in even more, British Patriot?
00:23:35.860
So, okay, the – Eric, can you pull it back up to the super chat?
00:23:54.580
Do you think the opposite sex has it easier in general?
00:23:58.080
Jeez, I don't know how far deep down we want to go on this one.
00:24:03.820
I mean, that's – so, okay, it's like an alleged irregularity between the prices of women's products and men's products.
00:24:11.820
Like, for example, conditioner, you compare men's and women's conditioners.
00:24:15.700
Supposedly, women pay more for their conditioner than men pay for their conditioner.
00:24:24.900
And the fact that they're cheaper – cheaply made.
00:24:33.640
No, I would not change – no, I would not want to change places.
00:24:39.160
Okay, Nicolette, can you – I need to adjust the camera angle if you want to answer the super chat.
00:24:45.540
Okay, I feel like women have it easier, and I love being a girl, and it's just like a life hack.
00:24:56.860
I feel like what she said, like, it's a life hack.
00:25:05.520
You have a lot of – well, what did you mean when you say life hack?
00:25:18.580
Like, you just don't really have to worry about some things, like getting a job or stuff like that.
00:25:29.000
Yeah, so I don't know if it's easier for men or women.
00:25:32.180
I'm not sure who – I'm sure – actually, I'm not going to say I don't know which one.
00:25:37.120
I feel like in a lot of circumstances, men have it easier, but a lot of other circumstances, women have the upper hand.
00:25:54.300
Eric, if you pull up the – if you pull up in the podcast folder in the studies, there's a pink tax study that we can look at, just since she brought up the pink tax thing.
00:26:04.980
And then you're going to – it's a PDF, so you'll have to open it up in just the browser is fine.
00:26:17.320
I mean, I think, like, in some ways, men have it a little easier, but I don't know.
00:26:25.360
Like, I'm obviously being used to a girl, and I don't know.
00:26:30.780
You kind of, like, finesse your way through life being a girl sometimes.
00:26:45.840
Okay, because I was going to say, if you have a boyfriend, maybe –
00:26:51.780
You could pee outside, like, sometimes you just got to pee, and I –
00:27:02.780
No, you can, obviously, in times of need, but I feel like it's easier to just whip it out and just pee.
00:27:13.620
I'm going to say that it's probably half and half.
00:27:16.480
I would say that women do have privilege on some things.
00:27:20.160
So, like, they were saying, free drinks, pretty privilege, pussy power.
00:27:25.860
But when you're looking, like, in the workplace, I feel like men have the upper hand.
00:27:30.760
Women are still looked at as if we are not as much as them.
00:27:34.720
And let's talk about how there's no woman in power, like, ever.
00:27:55.780
Well, I'm not going to talk off of people from other places.
00:28:02.800
Who's the speaker of the, or previous speaker of the house?
00:28:12.720
Like, do I think men have more, or more, whatever you said.
00:28:17.440
Okay, so you're talking about, like, the president of the United States.
00:28:23.700
So, like I said, I feel like women are still not held as high as men.
00:28:29.280
And, no, I mean, my answer to that question is, no, I would never want to be a man.
00:28:41.280
So, you brought up the discrepancies in terms of political power and men occupying the highest positions and CEOs.
00:29:01.180
Because women, I mean, for a long time, we were oppressed.
00:29:20.880
I'm not going to, like, I don't know the specific years.
00:29:45.860
I'm assuming you're also talking about the pay gap.
00:29:48.700
You're talking about women's lack of voting rights in the early 20th century and 19th century.
00:30:01.640
Well, first off, why don't we, Eric, were you able to pull up the pink tax thing?
00:30:12.740
Uh, so, this was investigating the pink tax, evidence against a systematic price premium from women,
00:30:19.880
University of Chicago, Northwestern University.
00:30:23.720
Keep in mind, these are women who were doing this research, by the way, so, FYI.
00:30:33.340
Um, I'll let you guys read it, but basically, if you want to reference this at some further point,
00:30:40.020
but basically, this debunks that there's a, uh, pink tax.
00:30:46.940
Eric, also, if you want to pull up the, in the studies, there's, uh, right above the pink,
00:30:53.000
pink tax study one, there's the pay scale, gender gap, um, if you can pull that up in a sec.
00:30:58.080
But, okay, so, you talked pay gap, you talked men occupying the best positions in the workplace,
00:31:15.280
Um, so, okay, so, let's start with the wage gap.
00:31:22.840
I don't know what it, what do you mean, what is it?
00:31:25.500
Like, how much men get paid versus women in the same workplace.
00:31:33.560
I just said, well, you were the one who said wage gap yourself.
00:31:37.480
Oh, okay, so, you want to just talk about that men.
00:31:42.460
Okay, what did, what did you say about men in the workplace?
00:31:44.620
I said, I felt like they are, that women are just not put as high as them.
00:31:51.580
Women are still, like, looked down upon, like, as if we cannot do the same things.
00:31:58.780
Well, I'm looking in the comments over here, and they're saying that, like, women base,
00:32:04.080
we base things off of emotion and how we're supposed to be more submissive.
00:32:11.760
Well, I'm not, I'm not looking at the chat right now, so I can't.
00:32:15.020
Yeah, I was again, and that's what they were saying.
00:32:17.140
And I just, it's just something that I disagree with.
00:32:23.080
I don't think that women should be submissive, or do you think that we should be?
00:32:29.480
Like, I know plenty of women, if they're being submissive, it's out of fear for standing up for themselves.
00:32:34.940
Well, I mean, I think you can maneuver through the world however you'd like, but I mean, within the, we're talking about two different things now.
00:32:42.400
When people are talking about being submissive, they're usually talking about that within the context of a relationship.
00:32:50.300
I don't think women should be submissive in the workplace, but I mean, so are we, what are we talking about?
00:32:57.200
In the workplace, and like, I'm sure you can pull up a study, like, they've done studies where a man and a woman have the same exact job, and the man's earning more.
00:33:30.680
Okay, so, here, first we'll, we'll come back to the wage gap thing.
00:33:34.860
Why don't we start with men occupying the highest positions in careers and in politics, right?
00:33:43.800
So, as far as politics go, women make the majority of the electorate.
00:33:50.220
So, what, what is, if you were, if you guys were so inclined, you could vote into power a woman.
00:33:58.480
Yeah, but my vote amongst millions, like, it's like a needle in a haystack.
00:34:07.480
Well, how can I get in contact with all women of the United States?
00:34:16.060
But, so, and then, okay, let's talk about the workplace, right?
00:34:22.340
So, are there more men who are on boards of companies and who are CEOs and executives and vice presidents?
00:34:37.100
However, you also, so, okay, you're talking sort of the glass ceiling, right?
00:34:42.540
Okay, so that women have, like, difficulty rising to the top positions in government and politics and the workplace.
00:34:51.380
Well, you can't look at that and also ignore the glass cellar, which is, while men occupy the best, the supposed best positions, we also occupy the worst positions.
00:35:04.500
By a far greater margin than we occupy the best positions.
00:35:11.420
Garbage collector, people working in coal mines, people working out on oil rigs, dangerous jobs.
00:35:23.100
The vast majority of people getting injured on the job are men.
00:35:26.580
So, you have to ask yourself, well, why is it that men occupy both the best and the worst positions?
00:35:36.080
I think when thinking about, like, higher authoritative positions, you know, obviously, back in the day, we kind of started as men occupied those just because women were expected and, like, had to stay at home to take care of the kids, the house chores, etc.
00:35:55.180
And as we grow out of that now, women are still a little bit behind because there's already, men are already implemented in those higher authoritative, like, positions, right?
00:36:09.540
And it's not that women aren't reaching for, like, those positions.
00:36:13.600
It's just a little harder when, you know, a lot more men are, like, let's say, in that position.
00:36:19.380
So, do you think there's, like, a boys club that people in corporations where the main motivation is making money?
00:36:32.500
My grandpa was actually in the Freemasons and they didn't, like, go through, you know, like, obviously being, like, fuck women.
00:36:43.100
We don't want to make more money and stuff like that.
00:36:44.920
But it was, like, exclusively a boys, like, a men's club where they had a lot more connections.
00:36:51.160
And then, eventually, you know, women branched off of that and there's the Rainbow Girls, which is a branch off.
00:37:09.800
Men and women make different choices in what they study, in the fields that they want to go in,
00:37:14.640
and that's going to have an impact on the money they earn and the positions that they occupy.
00:37:27.840
So, like, what would you say, like, in a situation, like, Harvey Weinstein or, like.
00:37:36.880
I'm just saying, like, that's a man in power or, like.
00:37:42.560
Then that's a man in power, and, like, he totally abused his power.
00:37:46.140
That's not really related to, I mean, that's not really related to what we're talking about, so.
00:37:55.820
That's totally unrelated to the broad topic at hand, which is.
00:38:00.940
But you're talking about, like, basically, women and men make choices, which is why they're in the positions they're in, right?
00:38:15.720
Women and men make choices that put them where they want to be.
00:38:20.780
So Harvey Weinstein was a very powerful man, right?
00:38:29.440
But I'm not understanding the point you're trying to make here.
00:38:33.740
Like, women and men make choices, and that puts them in the place they are.
00:38:46.080
And they abuse and utilize their power not to put women in position or to bring women and men together.
00:38:56.280
It's been, like, without saying names, there's been, like, oh, like, I can ruin your or end your career as a man with my power.
00:39:08.020
And you're a woman because you're not following the choices or, like, doing the stuff I want you to do.
00:39:17.460
Harvey Weinstein was a terrible person, abuser.
00:39:22.380
But he would have never been able to do that if he wasn't in power and had the power he had, right?
00:39:38.680
You're talking about, like, the casting couch in Hollywood.
00:39:45.900
But, I mean, it's just such a, it's totally unrelated to the topic at hand.
00:39:51.420
So, you were talking about, okay, why is it that men have all these positions of power?
00:39:59.380
Or men in power doesn't necessarily have to be politics.
00:40:02.800
But there's a lot of, like, you're going to talk about women, but there's a lot of men to talk about, too.
00:40:07.500
I'm not, but we're not, we're speaking in generalities here.
00:40:17.180
Okay, so, I don't, let's, let's end on the wage gap.
00:40:22.080
Okay, so, Eric, can you pull up the pay scale thing?
00:40:28.560
Pay scale is a reputable company that investigated this.
00:40:32.880
Scroll down a bit more on, or sorry, on the chart.
00:40:46.000
So, on the left, you have the uncontrolled gender pay gap.
00:40:54.960
So, this is when you take all men and all women and just compare just like that without taking into account hours worked, profession, seniority, type of job.
00:41:11.860
When you control it, when you control for like and like, so, someone working the same job, same qualifications, same hours worked, it's 99 cents.
00:41:28.600
I mean, that's within the, I would say that's within the margin of error.
00:41:31.580
But the thing is, is that what you have to think about with these situations is, if there's a discrepancy, is there necessarily, does that necessarily mean that it's due to sexism?
00:41:44.860
If there's a difference between men and women, is it, for example, the supposed pay gap, which there isn't, is it due to sexism?
00:42:12.480
When you're talking about hours worked, one cent is still a difference.
00:42:16.980
When controlling for everything, it's down to one cent.
00:42:20.320
But you should control because why would I, as a teacher, get compared to somebody who makes way more money or even way less money?
00:42:27.220
So you're talking controlled as in people who are in the same profession as me.
00:42:31.800
So even that woman, like me as a teacher, comparing to a man that does the same job as me, in controlled, it's still saying that I make less money.
00:42:45.920
But that it doesn't prove that it's due to some sort of sexism.
00:42:51.040
Just because there's even a difference when it's controlled.
00:42:57.260
Well, first off, even controlled like that, you still have to think about differences that people make throughout their life.
00:43:10.060
For example, if you choose to get pregnant, that's going to impact your career.
00:43:24.640
People get pregnant, I'm not meaning to get pregnant.
00:43:30.080
Look, if there was a boy's club and if it was, if you could get away with paying women less, why would you ever hire a man?
00:43:41.260
If you can pay a woman 30 cents, what is it, 70, 30% less, you would just hire women.
00:43:50.940
Businesses are in the, okay, a business's goal is to make money.
00:43:59.640
If you can pay women 30% less, you would just hire women.
00:44:05.700
Otherwise, corporations would just be hiring women.
00:44:08.480
If you could actually get away with paying them less, then you pay men.
00:44:25.760
Do you, okay, so do you think that what I pulled up there, the pay scale thing, 99 cents.
00:44:35.500
I'm not going to disagree with their assessment.
00:44:39.860
Even if that right there is a wage gap, I'm not going to say that I know what it is because I don't.
00:44:50.420
Does anyone else want to come in on this, by the way?
00:44:53.260
I would say if the goal is just to be open in this podcast, I think that's definitely what we're doing here.
00:45:01.340
I don't think I'm going to fully believe after leaving here.
00:45:08.440
So, I definitely need to do more research so I can speak more clearly about.
00:45:19.780
Because sexism is very prominent and I think, or my opinion on, my opinion is that just because we're not talking about all, like the bigger, the whole picture of sexism doesn't mean that it doesn't happen.
00:45:41.700
And that piece of paper isn't going to make me fully believe that it's not real because it's something that I've fully experienced.
00:45:55.460
So, the question that you need to ask yourself is not whether it exists, but why it exists.
00:46:03.360
So, there's a ton of reasons for the earnings gap.
00:46:08.400
Like I already said, the big one is women's choices.
00:46:11.300
Women, for example, in college, they tend to study different things.
00:46:18.320
You have to look at, for example, hours worked.
00:46:22.380
You have to look at, I mean, there's a whole bunch of things.
00:46:25.980
There's different types of jobs that are worked by men and women.
00:46:30.900
I mean, I could pull up, there's another thing we could pull up.
00:47:18.080
So, if we talk about the wage gap, then we also have to talk about the more likely to work a dangerous job gap.
00:47:26.540
What about, or more likely to die on the job gap.
00:47:36.300
You think, should we equalize it so it's 50-50?
00:47:41.040
You just said that women do not take up the majority of those jobs.
00:47:46.020
But, but does it stand to reason that if you're working a dangerous, okay, let me ask you guys a question.
00:47:53.620
In order for you to work a dangerous job, would you have to be paid more in order to do it?
00:47:59.920
If a job came with the risk of death or injury, would you be like, I want to be paid more for that job?
00:48:08.360
Or do you think those jobs should be better compensated than working in a comfortable office?
00:48:14.200
Well, they, they already get paid more due to the risk.
00:48:16.960
So, I had a couple of friends working construction and there's higher risk in that.
00:48:21.760
So, obviously, you know, they're getting paid more to, like, incentivize working these jobs.
00:48:29.720
And 95% of construction workers, probably more than 95% are men.
00:48:35.140
But going off, like, what you said about choices, now, you know, obviously men do work those jobs more.
00:48:44.140
And I will agree that women choose to not work those jobs more.
00:48:48.920
But at the end of the day, like, men still choose to do that job instead of a less, like, a lower risk job.
00:49:02.540
If we should close the wage gap, which, I mean, we've pretty much done, shouldn't we try to close it in other industries, too, don't you think?
00:49:14.740
Like, you're comparing, like, a death, like, a rate of how many people die on the job.
00:49:19.420
And then, like, how well, like, I mean, what are you, how would you close the gap of death?
00:49:25.560
We should have maybe more female construction workers.
00:49:30.700
But you said choice, and so it's everybody's choice for what they want to do.
00:49:36.880
And women choose to go into careers that happen to be, generally speaking, lower-paying careers.
00:49:43.540
And it also comes down to, like, we're saying, like, people in the same job.
00:49:52.120
I think she's talking about, like, people in the same exact job.
00:49:55.840
Because, like, of course you compare, like, a construction worker who's earning a lot of hour to, like, a woman earning.
00:50:01.480
Like, she chose to take that lower-paying job, and then he chose to take a higher-paying job.
00:50:05.140
But, like, maybe, like, in the same business or same corporation or same job, whatever the case.
00:50:11.840
Then maybe we could compare those, but, like, we can't compare two different jobs.
00:50:21.480
All right, Eric, pull up the other Super Chat thing.
00:50:33.860
Azam, I'm going to try to get this later on in the show.
00:50:39.540
But, by the way, guys, sorry we started a little late tonight.
00:50:44.700
Michael Trilstein, thank you for the $10 soup chat.
00:50:51.640
Do you want to shoot fire back at Michael Trilstein?
00:51:01.580
Michael Trilstein, thank you for the $10 soup chat, man.
00:51:08.720
Do you want to – I don't know who this is directed at, Michael.
00:51:12.820
By the way, guys, all soup chats will be displayed in stream overlay.
00:51:19.340
Shout out our people who are hooking it up on Twitch.
00:51:31.980
Common Sense America, thank you for the follow.
00:51:36.200
Guys, head on over to Twitch, twitch.tv slash whatever.
00:51:50.740
It's totally free if you have a Twitch Prime, Amazon Prime sub, totally free.
00:51:54.120
So head on over to twitch.tv slash whatever and show us a little support, guys.
00:52:01.900
So I think we're caught up there on the soup chats.
00:52:34.960
Eric, if you can go ahead and pull up the dating app profiles.
00:53:05.200
As far as bringing on another host, like, if you know someone in Santa Barbara that can host, let me know.
00:53:12.760
So, guys, we're going to be doing a dating app review.
00:53:31.860
So, she says, let's chat about anime and manga.
00:53:38.800
That's always fun on the first date, talking about our mental health trauma.
00:53:51.100
She's intelligent, funny, encouraging, and deep.
00:53:53.080
This girl is passionate, nurturing, and her third eye is open, a spiritual soul grounded by an earthly body,
00:54:02.000
which may I say, beautiful, curvy, and flexible.
00:54:20.620
She smokes weed, and she's omitted if she does drugs.
00:54:49.580
This must have been a video, so it's a little blurry, but I guess – is this you with your dog?
00:54:58.460
I don't want to idealize or fit someone into what I'm looking for.
00:55:02.120
I want to find genuine people who can respect me as an individual and aren't just trying to fulfill their boredom.
00:55:14.660
Going out looking good and hyping up other bad bitches.
00:55:17.380
I love to go dancing or even taking up a new creative project.
00:55:35.640
Do you swipe left or do you swipe right on J-Dog?
00:56:02.940
Go back to the prompt of hers where it was, like, looking for genuine connection.
00:56:17.460
Okay, you're looking for genuine connections, genuine people.
00:56:45.460
Like, someone who's not trying to fit me into a box.
00:56:48.960
Someone who's open to an actual connection, a bond.
00:56:52.800
So far, my opinion and my experience has been, if we're not romantically, like, romantically involved, then the connection itself is not worth pursuing.
00:57:07.740
And I'm just not looking for someone who is just trying to be perfect, I would say, like, someone who's real.
00:57:22.080
Okay, don't, please don't take offense to this.
00:57:26.220
So, the photo on the dating apps that you posted, like, they're super heavily filtered, right?
00:57:40.280
Like, do you think it's fair of you to ask for someone who's genuine or real, but, like, how you're representing yourself on the dating apps is, like, here's me with, like, full face makeup, filter.
00:57:53.180
Or, like, do you think that that's being ingenuine?
00:57:58.140
For me, I'm an artist, so this is just how I present myself.
00:58:02.940
So, I, my personality and how I speak speaks for itself, so I don't, I don't find, I want someone who can look past, basically, everything that, I know people look at me like, oh, she's a hoe because of the way she dresses.
00:58:23.180
Well, I'm not saying about you, but in general, I, I know that's the, or I, I throw out there.
00:58:29.420
So, someone who's genuine is not going to, like, see my makeup and be thrown off by that.
00:58:36.260
And I've gone to full-on dates without makeup, like, just to surprise people.
00:58:41.280
Like, it's, it's not something that I constantly have on.
00:58:44.380
I probably, I probably, like, do it, like, once, once a week, but I like showing off my work because I do it, like, not that often.
00:58:53.280
Yeah, I guess, I don't know, my, my question is, and I, I, we could open it up to the whole panel is, um, I don't, I don't think it's a surprise to any of us that for both men and women, something that we look for, you know, we, we are making sort of assessments of someone's physical attractiveness on the dating apps.
00:59:11.920
Both men and women are looking for partners that are typically physically attractive.
00:59:15.380
And so, I, I guess my question is, when it comes to the dating apps, if you are posting heavily filtered or, like, full face makeup, if you don't have at least, like, one or two photos where it's just kind of like less, there's less makeup or less filter, do you think it's, you're sort of misrepresenting your physical appearance when physical appearance is something that's super important to both men and women?
00:59:41.920
I've dated guys all different body types, so I don't really see it that way.
00:59:50.600
I do understand that is the, not stereotype, that is, like, the stigma, that is what goes on.
00:59:57.000
But I'm very full body positivity, so I don't, I don't view guys any differently, or women any differently from being young.
01:00:07.400
Would you take issue with a guy lying about his height on a dating app?
01:00:22.080
I'd just kind of be like, why'd you lie about it?
01:00:26.920
Yeah, it would just be more funny because, like, like, as a girl, maybe you could, or, like, there's certain things you can lie about.
01:00:33.660
Maybe your eye color, you could throw some contacts in, but, like, you lie about your height, like, you show up in person, like, you're not that tall.
01:01:17.540
I mean, I'm not on that side of the dating apps, but I, I can't imagine that the amount of men who are using filters is approaching the amount, is anywhere approaching how frequently women use filters on dating apps.
01:01:35.160
So, you never, you probably almost never see men wearing makeup on dating apps, for example.
01:01:47.140
But, so, do you guys think it, it would be okay if guys just start lying about their height on dating apps?
01:01:55.460
I know, I mean, men already are lying about it, but do you think it's kind of, like, evens the playing field, since women are kind of misrepresenting their own physical appearance, as far as wearing makeup and using filters?
01:02:15.780
Guys, okay, guys in the chat, change your height, add three inches to your height, not the other thing.
01:02:26.100
Say you have a better job than you actually have, went to a better school, like, I don't know, that's kind of fair, don't you think?
01:02:32.260
Or I think it would be, like, if they just altered the picture they uploaded.
01:02:40.900
Him lying about his height would be, like, the information that he's entering into the dating app.
01:02:47.800
So maybe if, like, he took his picture and blew it up so he, like, was taller in the picture, then that would be similar.
01:02:55.220
Okay, so you're saying that what I'm saying is not comparable.
01:03:00.240
But, like, if she's uploading a picture, you know, with a filter or with makeup so he could upload a picture and maybe, like, put a filter on it or make him taller in the picture, then that would be comparable.
01:03:10.860
Like, but, well, men can't, we can't really get away with wearing makeup in the same way that women wear makeup.
01:03:17.700
I think it's coming, like, more, like, mainstream that some men are wearing makeup now.
01:03:23.960
Especially Korean culture, they, and a lot of Asian cultures, men wear makeup.
01:03:28.460
One time I was messing around with this guy and he did wear, like, like, concealer and stuff.
01:03:38.380
Um, I was just, like, well, at least he has, like, makeup wipes and stuff.
01:03:45.340
I was a little taken aback, but I wasn't, like, weirded out or anything.
01:04:03.500
It says, why do guys and some women worry about dick size?
01:04:06.960
It normally only takes two or three fingers to bloom with women nowadays.
01:04:17.900
It's more, like, what you're willing to put in, like, the effort.
01:04:24.660
There's been guys who have, like, pretty good-sized, like, dicks, and it's, like, they weren't really into it.
01:04:29.400
You can tell, you can tell in someone's eyes if they're fully interested in your pleasure.
01:04:46.940
Nicolette, what are your thoughts on penis size?
01:05:43.860
I feel like, you know, your G-spot isn't that deep in anyways.
01:05:49.420
So, like, a smaller penis could get that easier.
01:06:45.360
I don't know if I should bring it back to this.
01:06:58.440
I wouldn't be, like, against playing for the WNBA, but those aren't, like, my long-term goals.
01:07:20.640
She's got 32 pending chats, so she's very popular.
01:07:42.120
I'm convinced that I can outsmoke you anytime, any day.
01:07:50.560
I'm assuming that's weed and not methamphetamine.
01:09:07.300
They're going to need to know if they're going to swipe left or swipe right on you.
01:09:18.360
I'm not going to go into all the details, but we're talking exactly what it said.
01:09:33.360
Therapy recently taught me that I was a wounded child in an adult's body.
01:09:38.000
I was determined to break the generational curse, and I did.
01:09:47.520
They say it's a green flag if you're in therapy.
01:10:16.920
What's, is that the, real quick, is it a green flag if a guy is in therapy?
01:10:25.920
I mean, if you're not, that's not like a no, but like.
01:10:31.320
I think once you work through, like, some things that you're really struggling on that might
01:10:39.540
have reflected in past relationships or, like, hookups, then, yeah, it's, it's attractive
01:10:44.300
because it's, like, you're able to overcome and learn from what your struggles were.
01:11:03.620
Here's the hot, I'm going to give the hot take.
01:11:05.360
I think it's a red flag if someone's in therapy.
01:11:12.740
It's a bigger red flag if they have a mental health issue and they're not in therapy.
01:11:19.840
But if they're in therapy, getting treated for something, then I, to me, I think that's
01:11:25.620
I'd much rather someone who's not in therapy who doesn't have any issues going on.
01:11:34.380
You're going to, okay, someone who's in therapy for severe bipolar disorder, you're going to
01:11:41.320
Well, just because somebody is bipolar doesn't mean that they can't function like normal
01:11:46.400
And just because you're in therapy doesn't mean that you're, like, treating something.
01:11:51.520
And just because you're not in therapy doesn't mean that you don't have issues either.
01:11:56.920
And also, if you're not in therapy, how would you know you needed that help or not?
01:12:02.640
I mean, you can be aware of ongoing, if you have any mental health issues, you can be
01:12:11.660
And just, I mean, if you know you're, you have borderline personality disorder, if you
01:12:16.400
know you have a BP or a bipolar disorder, if you have some other disorder.
01:12:22.140
But some people can't choose what disorders they have or don't have.
01:12:27.120
Of course, I'm not, but I'm just saying in terms of if I'm looking for a partner and
01:12:33.540
the girl's like, yo, I've got fucking crazy bipolar and I've got BPD and.
01:12:39.660
What if she's like, oh, like, I'm just checking with the therapist here and there just to have
01:12:44.160
someone like a, someone from the outside world giving me advice or their outtake on things.
01:12:49.140
It also helps because when you don't work through a lot of issues and like there are
01:12:59.200
selective people in the world who, you know, like go on for most of their life who probably
01:13:04.860
don't have as extensive mental issues as other people.
01:13:08.720
But let's say you end up with a girl who you really, really like and you want to build
01:13:15.280
a future with her and she has mental issues, like it's going to reflect in your relationship.
01:13:19.360
I don't want to have, not, I don't want to have a relationship with a girl who has mental
01:13:24.900
So if you really liked her and she was like, I have heavy depression, you'd be like, okay,
01:13:35.380
But I don't think it's like a red flag that someone's in therapy.
01:13:45.280
I have, I don't have a, uh, I don't have anything against people who are in therapy.
01:13:50.600
If you want to get therapy, if that helps you, fantastic.
01:13:53.580
But for, for a partner, like looking for a partner, I want, I don't want someone in
01:14:02.700
So would you like, if you had a partner and then you guys were having, um, like relationship
01:14:07.540
issues, would you go to couples therapy or would you just break it off?
01:14:10.180
I probably would not, probably would not go to a therapist.
01:14:26.240
I'd say the first thing is, are we talking about the couples therapy thing?
01:14:32.360
Cause you're talking about people who go to therapy for themselves.
01:14:34.840
So what is the reason for you that it like, what's the stigma for somebody who's going
01:14:40.200
I, I don't think there's, or why would you go to therapy?
01:14:44.820
Um, I think the only scenario where I would go to therapy is if I was dealing with like
01:14:51.160
a, a death of a parent and maybe like I needed to get some, sometimes the, uh, hospice cares
01:14:59.080
will, you know, how, how do you cope with the death of a loved one?
01:15:05.100
But like in terms of my life difficulties, I would never see a therapist ever.
01:15:11.060
You wouldn't consider that a life difficulty losing somebody?
01:15:15.760
Like, no, I'm talking, I'm talking about like, I'm talking just about, Oh, like life
01:15:20.780
Like I just said, I, the circumstance under which I might go to therapy is like, how do
01:15:29.600
That's maybe, or the death of a child or something.
01:15:32.260
If I had kids and one of my children died, I'd maybe go to therapy under those circumstances.
01:15:37.340
But like just dealing with like the milieu and the fucking drudgery of life.
01:15:43.000
No, all my pro like, see, I think men and women tend to deal with their problems differently.
01:15:51.660
I have difficulties, but I want solutions to my problems.
01:16:12.280
Uh, when I was younger, I had some anxiety issues.
01:16:15.160
So I saw a therapist and he helped me with my panic attacks.
01:16:19.240
And that was like, if you met someone and they had panic attacks and they were seeing
01:16:24.660
Or if you met somebody and they were seeing a therapist because I think panic attacks would
01:16:32.120
Actually, you might, you've maybe changed my mind a little bit on this.
01:16:35.240
So I guess it depends what they're in there for, but I mean, generally speaking, uh, I'd
01:16:42.260
say generally speaking, no, I would not want to date someone who's seen a therapist.
01:16:46.680
Like you said, like if your parents passed away or like something or a loss of someone
01:16:50.700
and you didn't know how to deal with it, you would use a therapist as a resource to
01:16:56.580
So like, that would be the reason you would go.
01:16:58.580
But then someone else could be like, it doesn't have to be like dreading life.
01:17:06.380
Like, you know, like someone can't find a solution, how you may be able to find a solution.
01:17:10.420
If I just lost my job, I'm not paying $300 to see a therapist.
01:17:12.600
Okay, well that's probably not the best example, but I'm saying like losing a parent could be
01:17:18.440
Yeah, and then like someone doesn't go to therapy for just dreading life.
01:17:22.000
They can go for like plenty of reasons or like if you, like you said, you wouldn't go
01:17:26.760
see a couple's therapist, but like if you were with someone and you really like them and you
01:17:31.160
guys can't find a solution, what's wrong with getting a solution another way?
01:17:36.980
Well, so I'll tell you one of the reasons why I'm sort of against therapy is therapy is
01:17:49.640
Therapy, like the American Psychological Association.
01:18:11.940
I don't know if it's the American Psychological Association.
01:18:14.360
It's one of these organizations and they said something about how masculinity.
01:18:35.420
All I have to say is you're narrowing down your options to like just kiki.
01:18:48.760
But like a woman can't even go through things in her life to need therapy.
01:18:59.940
So like if it's not a potential partner, it could be someone that you're already dating
01:19:07.620
Like let's say, um, if you were married and you guys were going to have a kid, that woman
01:19:15.440
could develop postpartum depression and it stays with her after that.
01:19:18.540
Like, would you still want to be with that partner or would you want to work on it?
01:19:22.880
Like I said, there are some circumstances where therapy is fine.
01:19:28.960
But look, the point I'm trying to make is, is if you're seeing a therapist, for example,
01:19:35.020
and you have severe mental, it's, it's kind of less the I'm in therapy and it's more,
01:19:49.800
Are you in therapy because you're dealing with some crazy fucking baggage from an ex?
01:19:55.680
I don't want to, I don't want to deal with a girl that doesn't have anything to do with
01:19:59.600
You're just like, I don't have any crazy baggage from an ex.
01:20:02.480
So why would I deal with someone having crazy baggage from an ex?
01:20:05.160
And as simple as that, but it's not the therapy aspect.
01:20:07.220
It's just like, but they're in therapy to deal with that.
01:20:10.900
But you're not like, oh, I'm not, I'm not going to see you because you're in therapy.
01:20:13.740
I'm not going to see you because you have a crazy ex.
01:20:16.220
I'm not going to see you because you have mental health issues.
01:20:18.440
I'm not going to see you because you're bipolar, not because you're in therapy.
01:20:22.140
Like you should get therapy and you should get that help.
01:20:31.600
or having some baggage from a past relationship,