Men Make NO EFFORT？! What Do They Bring To The Table？ HEATED DEBATE w⧸ Feminists! ｜ Dating Talk #131
Episode Stats
Length
6 hours and 12 minutes
Words per Minute
185.67319
Hate Speech Sentences
338
Summary
In this episode of the Whatever Dating Talk podcast, we have our first guest on the show, and it's a girl from the Bay Area named Kayla. She's a college student from San Francisco and works in the child care industry. We talk about what it's like being single in your 20's and 30's, and how to deal with it.
Transcript
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welcome to the whatever dating talk podcast where we try to make sense of the modern dating
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hellscape thanks for tuning in tonight you could have been anywhere in the world but you're here
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with me i appreciate that we're coming to you live from santa barbara california every sunday
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and tuesday at 5 p.m pacific i'm your host brian atlas i'm joined by my co-host kiki
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she's back there hiding uh she's a bit shy a few quick announcements before the show began sorry
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that we are starting late today was an absolute shit show um most flakes we've ever had we had
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six flakes in a 24-hour period 10 flakes total um so uh our apologies for our uh little delayed start
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it disclaimer the views expressed by the panelists do not necessarily reflect the views of the whatever
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podcast or the host without further ado we're going to have the guests introduce themselves so please
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tell us your name age location so where are you from and occupation go ahead all right my name is
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kayla i'm 24 years old i'm from joshua tree california and i am a tooth technician hi i'm talia i'm a
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20 year old from the bay area i go to school here at ucsb and i'm a student what uh what do you uh what's
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your major i'm an econ major econ okay welcome my name is katie i'm 29 i'm originally from vermont and
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i work in child care all right welcome my name is lily i'm 21 i'm originally from the bay area but
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i go here at ucsb and i'm a senior all right welcome i'm shay i'm also from the bay and i also
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go to ucsb and i'm 21 major econ as well you're both econ uh no i'm bio oh bio okay so econ econ bio
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got it my name is ariana i'm 21 years old and i'm a student okay welcome and i i also live in joshua
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tree as well okay hi my name is vanshika i'm a henna artist and event planner moved here 18 months
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before in l a basically i'm from india basically you're from india yes i'm from india okay could
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it ever be like complicated you're from india no okay okay dating is kind of i would say okay um jake
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28 years old rattlesnake tv on youtube from brisbane australia welcome welcome thank you
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okay cool so um we are going to go around the table once more so what's everybody's current
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relationship status so are you single talking stage situationship friends with benefits relationship
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married polycule sex cult there's all kinds of arrangements nowadays if you're single how long
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have you been single and what's the longest relationship you've ever been in go ahead
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currently i am seriously dating and i'm very happy um second question you asked was
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so you're your current you're currently in a relationship i am yes and my longest relationship
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has been four and a half years is that your current one or no okay this one's less than half of that
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uh how long have you been in your current relationship um i say we like dated but it was
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long distance for a while and then i moved out here so since april it's been serious okay so is it
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still long distance or now you guys it is oh still long distance so long distance okay um he's it's
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kind of complicated tell us how's it complicated well um i moved out here to be closer to him and then
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he moved well yeah it was long distance she moved to come and then he moved away i think he's trying
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to get away from you um so okay uh but so okay you said it's complicated so you moved out here
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to be with him but then is he in the military he is okay that makes sense good connection okay um
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where's he now um i don't know if i'm supposed to say you don't know oh okay you just his platoon
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had to go middle east huh huh okay maybe we shouldn't talk about that subject but
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is he currently deployed yes oh ah okay so he moved for work yeah he did well he's coming back
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three months you don't know where your boyfriend is no i do i just don't last time i posted where he
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was and they told me to take it down okay all right area 51 i see oh area 51 yeah she's gonna
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narrow to run um go invaded okay uh what about you uh so current i am so single and so happy about it
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so but like no talking to anyone no crush is nothing like i'm so grateful what's so good about being so
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single oh it's like all my energy is focused on like my friends myself my career like just being
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present it's amazing i love it well and uh so so single when's um how long have you been so single
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for uh like a month one month and what were you were you like kind of single before i was in like
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it was like friends with friends with benefits i was abroad and i like it was like good friend
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with benefits type thing you know little european fling little european you said you were abroad where
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were you um spain oh in spain okay you're uh doing uh like you're an international student there
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yeah like studying abroad there okay yeah and you were there for like a quarter is it the quarter
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semester i was there for like a semester but i was traveling beforehand madrid yeah okay wait so hold
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on uh you were dating a guy while you were in spain sure dating isn't the right word we were friends
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with benefits friends we would travel together was he a spanish man no where was he from was he part of
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your pro your program uh yeah we met on the first day of school american no oh what country i don't
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like american boys you don't like american boys no we should we'll let everybody answer the question
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but we'll come back to the what's wrong with american boys okay we can definitely hit that um
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okay so um uh you came back you were in a thing while you were there yeah now you're so single
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very single yes and happy happy not looking for anything cool uh well and we'll come back to some
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of these uh oh longest relationship a year one year okay gotcha what about you what were the
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questions again um yeah so uh current relationship status if you're single how long have you been
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single longest relationship um so currently between single and in a poly relationship i consider myself
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non-monogamous um i do have a lover that's cross seas right now not military um but
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yeah and longest relationship is four and a half years is that your current no paul okay no so you
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said you're single but you have your i consider it a polyamorous relationship how long is your
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current this current relationship um i've known this person for a little over a year um so it's been
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can you speak a little closer than mike please yes um i've known this person a little over a year
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um on and off relationship is this the person who's overseas yeah and he he's also uh considers himself
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non-monogamous you don't know so have you told him that you're non-monogamous i think it's an
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understanding have you explicitly said that no but we weren't together and then i came i was in
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vermont and then i came back and he was has gone to thailand um and he's probably experiencing the
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local spices over there i don't know he's working he's really busy and i mean we still talk and i so i
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very much love him very much and when we see each other we'll very much be together but i'm also just
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like my own person it's a wrong split nick um okay so hold on uh open relationships open relationships
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it's the way to go it's the way to go it's the way to go are you uh you so you have your main right
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that's my understanding with like polyamorous right there's like a main and then right or there could
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be multiple you're all just loving together each other yeah so polyamory would be that you have is
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technically that you have your main two so that that he's i consider him he's my lover right that's
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who my heart is very much in love with him um but you still can have other going dates and
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other encounters would you ever marry that person i don't know i i think yes marriage has been a whole
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like i thought for 25 years of my life that oh i want to get married white picket fence that whole
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lifestyle until i started traveling and fell in love with myself and now it's like relationships are
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actually quite difficult now for me to be in is that do you reckon you because you've had too many
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experiences on your travels that you can't quite stick to one person or um very little experiences on
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my travels yeah it's more you know i was very in long-term relationships about three to four
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four and a half years before traveling and then after that decided to just be in love with myself
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for a while and like you're saying the whole single thing is a big thing and encouraged for
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young women would you would you want to do that forever though just be in love with yourself or
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would you want to share your life with somebody i want to share my life with a lot of people i love
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a lot of people and i think love is more expansive than just one person but in terms of a romantic love
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you'd want to have romantic love with lots of different people that's what open relationships
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are yeah and what about having kids though would you want to have kids i believe so i mean i work
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in child care so for again 25 years of my life i thought i wanted that i was ready to have kids with
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the person i was with in that four and a half year relationship um which actually was pretty toxic
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of a relationship um so it's crazy to think i would have had a baby with someone then and now to
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come to find out just a few years later of having time with myself i definitely want to have a child
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of my own obviously to continue um but would you maintain the polyamorous lifestyle if you had a
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child with somebody i don't know yeah are you uh you so you have your main are you seeing any other
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guys currently no okay or women just to be clear okay so you you are bisexual you date both okay
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um but you're not seeing anybody else no okay but if something were to come along you might
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consider it entertain it yes okay got it what about you um i do i reintroduce myself my name is lily
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and i've been single my whole life okay that is my relationship that else i am sting i am single
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single your whole life yes um what's the but you i'm sure you've dated people i've gone on dates but i
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don't think i've ever like settled down and like committed to being a relationship um person what's
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the longest consecutive period of time that you've dated one person i've never dated anybody well like
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maybe there was a guy or a girl are you bisexual you're bi okay have you dated a guy or a girl uh
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you know maybe it was a casual thing for like a period of a month two months three months have you had
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that i've got like i've gone on dates with the concept like a person consecutively for a long
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period of time but i don't think i've ever like asked to be someone's girlfriend before so what
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about like a friends with benefits have you had like a three month six month what about situationship
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yes how long what's the longest situationship that you've had three months three months got it okay
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was that was that with a guy or a girl guy guy okay got it okay um and is that people have
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they've had an interest in having a relationship and you haven't or yes okay i just i am very
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independent person i like to dedicate a lot of time to myself and like i said i like to work on
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myself a lot i'm very much just like an independent person and i have extremely high goals for myself
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so it's hard to find time to even have a relationship you said sorry go ahead oh no just
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like i'm very focused on myself well you said you're a bio major are you interested in pursuing
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medicine is that absolutely you want to be a doctor i want to be a professor oh professor okay
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um of biology immunology immunology i see okay uh and so i assume that would mean that you have to
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pursue a phd so i yeah it certainly takes a quite a bit of time um so is it do you want to have kids
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one day absolutely absolutely okay and so but it sounds like to me at the time being you're kind
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of disregarding the pursuit of a relationship because right now you're kind of focused on your
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studies and you want to achieve certain things and perhaps that's something maybe i don't know if you
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have a sense of a timeline maybe in your mid to late 20s maybe early 30s that's when you would like
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to exactly i feel like i'd like to settle down with someone in like my late 20s maybe like 25 26 you
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know and then have kids dedicate my 30s to my kids do you have a sense of would you prefer that
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person to be a man would you prefer to be a woman because i know you said did you say you want kids
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right yes yeah um so would you prefer do you have a preference there when i do not have a preference
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i think okay so open to adoption or absolutely okay seriously okay got it okay um what about you
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i'm in a serious relationship right now all right relationship how long have you been in the
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relationship for for about seven months seven months okay got it what about you i'm currently
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married and my longest relationship is three years is that your current yes my current relationship
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gotcha how long have you been married um like a year and three months probably a year and three
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months okay cool i'm currently single and i would say i'm single from last seven months so yeah you
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said okay single for the last seven months longest relationship it was two years two years okay got it
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all right um and you uh how long have you been in the u.s because you're from india correct yeah i would
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say 18 months can you i would say 18 months 18 months okay all right uh so but you've been
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single for seven months in that seven month period so you wait you did have a relationship
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here in the u.s for period of time okay six months why did he dump you kidding sorry i am
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i get to know that he's married oh he was married okay how did you uh not know that that's that's
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what the problem i he didn't like i didn't get to know the way he portrays himself it's like
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he's a single person and he was giving me good time he was like taking care of me i didn't realize
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i honestly i had like no idea he can't be married
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but yeah did you never go to his house or anything like did he have a wedding ring
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on his no did you go to his house sorry did you go to his house no because honestly i'm i was
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working a lot so i was like working a lot so how long were you dating him six months you never went
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to his abode no he always went to your place i would say hotel meetups oh at my place i would
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say yeah but not a lot so how did you find out i found out through his phone did you get in there
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by yourself or did he let you in it was eventually honestly and also one thing was about his house
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that uh it was like he said he lives in a some certain place but i found a mail that says another
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address you went there didn't you yeah so that that tricked me like why this is a lie did you drive
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past the address sorry did you drive past the address no don't lie to me did you did you not
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i strictly asked him i strictly asked him and he was like kind of get panicked oh you're going through
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my mails and this and that was that's not what i'm asking you need to answer me and yeah he didn't
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answer so i i kind of get an idea like something is fishy going on so yeah but i get to know it so i have
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turned it up for sure and i did good times uh we'll dive more into that in a little bit jake what
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is your uh relationship situation 28 and single and that's about it sweet okay and you've been
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traveling a lot recently any uh any love connections on your many travels too busy i just stay inside my
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apartments my abnbs the whole time and work no lady friends you know i don't get time you don't
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got time i don't get okay he's focused he's focused on the grind he is focused on the grind okay cool
00:19:02.480
well um so i have a few uh notes here that we need to go over let me just see um i actually hmm i think
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a good starting point would be actually before we get back into some of the people's uh relationship
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statuses uh hold on one sec guys i have a kind of a light question to start if you had to choose
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would you rather your boyfriend cheat on you with a girl who is hotter or uglier than you if you had
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to choose uglier and we'll go around the table we'll start with you and we'll go around okay so for you
00:19:38.340
okay what about you um sure uglier yeah i guess okay okay i'm gonna pass on that question
00:19:51.140
what why why because i think looks are objective or subjective right so i don't hold on hold on okay
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who's to say that she's uglier prettier than i am um not going there well wait hold on uh just
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one care are you are you straight no you're bi yes so you can't make a determination whether somebody
00:20:20.480
is physically attractive to you i can but not if she's prettier than i am or not
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i'm so you you can assess someone's attractiveness but not if they're more attractive than you yeah
00:20:42.320
can i ask you a question sure okay who here is more or less attractive oh yeah you want me to
00:20:48.080
i could do that yes please i could do that i feel like it might be how you do that because i don't
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understand it might be a little rude it would be right it might be a little rude but this is a
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i'm asking you a hypothetical question so it's rude in the sense that i can't answer that unless
00:21:04.880
there's a girl there give me a hypothetical girl what's she look like give me details who's like
00:21:08.880
victoria's secret supermodel versus um then i would understand why he cheated on me but would you
00:21:14.480
rather him cheat with the victoria's secret supermodel or um hulk hogan wearing a wig
00:21:19.920
i would honestly say the hotter chick because i would say i want him to have standards like if
00:21:27.040
he's gonna sleep with someone that low then what was i there's the question there we go there we all
00:21:32.160
right what about you i'm gonna go prettier prettier okay uglier yeah uglier uglier okay so why
00:21:43.120
you want to start with me yeah we'll start with you i would say that's the basic thing like like
00:21:51.120
maybe my english is like it's not my first language i don't sometimes have the proper words so was his
00:21:56.800
wife hotter or uglier than you say it again please was his wife hotter or uglier than you i would say that
00:22:05.840
obviously if a person is i maybe i've misunderstood the question can you just read run again uh i asked
00:22:14.320
the question was was your last boyfriend when you when you saw his family photos with him and his wife
00:22:19.760
was she hotter or uglier than you um she was good she was beautiful i would say i can i don't want to
00:22:25.680
compare she she's beautiful a beautiful lady i would say hotter or uglier than you though what do you think
00:22:32.000
if you had to say it i have to say because normally if you have if you go for a side girl i reckon the
00:22:36.080
side girl's probably going to be hotter i would say she is beautiful that's it okay um i would say
00:22:46.560
uglier because it would probably hurt less i don't know i think it would just hurt less would it be less
00:22:51.840
of a threat yeah i think so yeah okay um if he's cheating at that point i'm already
00:23:01.760
leaving and in my mind i'd rather uh think of him with an ugly girl than with a pretty girl
00:23:06.960
because that's at that point kind of sure this week okay i said prettier because if she's bad
00:23:14.000
i'll sleep with her too there you have it okay what about you oh well you need more opinion
00:23:20.320
it's a podcast let me just say for the ones that are saying the ugly that what like you gotta
00:23:28.000
your self-value you know like you are so beautiful the question wasn't if you think you're beautiful
00:23:33.040
though it's like if they think you think they're uglier or hotter than you and why yeah but when
00:23:37.280
you're saying like oh they're i want them to be uglier than me because it's boost your self-esteem
00:23:42.240
like that doesn't matter you don't think people have egos people have egos totally does yeah and
00:23:46.480
that's what the question's about okay people's egos thank you we all have them oh totally so do you
00:23:51.440
yeah so what do you think i think i said what i think but why would they be why would you want
00:23:56.800
hotter well i said because i want them to have the standard because i think their standards would be
00:24:03.360
i'm at that same standard so if they're liking victoria's secret girls then i'm like a victoria's
00:24:08.000
secret girl must be wait i don't know if that really checks out though okay so wait is the logic here
00:24:16.880
i'm dating my boyfriend my boyfriend is attracted to me if he sleeps with a girl of a certain
00:24:22.160
physical attractiveness ergo i must be just as physically attractive as the other woman he
00:24:27.840
sleeps with is that the logic sure i'm not that doesn't sound like a very i think she's saying
00:24:36.720
she's saying that his standards must be high so therefore she must fall within those standards
00:24:40.960
like when they go lower when they go down when they go to uglier girls it's just like
00:24:47.280
yo what happened to your standards like i've had this guy like dated a guy that had pretty girlfriend
00:24:51.760
after pretty girlfriend after pretty girlfriend and then you see after so long he starts going down
00:24:56.960
because they start finding out he's not a very good person you know and so he has to start being
00:25:03.840
so you're saying that his girlfriends got uglier
00:25:15.120
yeah this is kind of a hard question i kind of agree with everyone like i would just look at the guy and
00:25:20.000
i'd be like i'd more look at the girl like what does she what is it about like the personality
00:25:24.960
maybe that caught him like if he's just sleeping with her because she's hot like good for him like
00:25:29.040
that's great like um but it would be it would be beyond the appearance which is what would irk me
00:25:34.960
it wouldn't really like i don't think the first thing that would come to my mind is like oh she's
00:25:38.400
prettier than me i wouldn't be comparing myself to her like that okay what about you i think
00:25:44.400
it would be more for my mental just feeling like i wouldn't have to worry about her anymore and you
00:25:50.080
said you'd prefer if she was ugly uglier just listen to some beyonce and just get over yeah and he can
00:25:54.640
live with that regret you know yeah okay good times good times so one thing i want to go back to
00:26:00.720
here for a little bit is uh some of the people's answers to the relationship status question um you
00:26:07.680
said that you uh were not a big fan of american boys uh before i have you kind of elaborate on that
00:26:13.520
anybody here concur with her her opinion are you not fans um i mean i don't know maybe some of you
00:26:20.880
haven't been out of country or haven't met an international person uh in a romantic sense
00:26:25.600
anyways um i guess general yeah i feel like you can't really answer this question if you haven't
00:26:34.000
met an internet well anyways um does anybody else want to weigh in on that any thoughts on american men
00:26:39.600
they're up there canada huh they're up there with canadians and where do they sit in the parking
00:26:46.880
order i like white boys you like white white boys well i suppose you could get a
00:26:52.320
norwegians are cool too norwegians what about swede swedes what do you think about the swedes i
00:26:58.080
don't know the finish what do you think about the finish i don't know what i know what about the
00:27:01.600
danes you like that you like the danish i don't know do you like the danish sure yeah i like danish
00:27:08.240
are there any other scandinavian countries i'm i hit i hit finland scandin denmark sweden norway
00:27:15.040
are there other scandinavian those are the four main is iceland scandinavian yep is that iceland is
00:27:22.640
yep scandinavian yeah but they're kind of like over there yeah like like you meet in
00:27:27.520
ice they're not like they're aren't they isn't iceland that's next to uh canada isn't it no no
00:27:32.960
no that's that's greenland oh that's i'm thinking greenland does anyone even live on greenland
00:27:38.160
i think it's funny because greenland is icy and iceland is green i heard that in the disney movie
00:27:43.600
like 20 years okay anyways um she likes that you like that um like arian flavor blonde hair blue eyes
00:27:50.240
not necessarily blonde hair blue eyes but just you know just to me what about the dutch do you like
00:27:55.040
the dutch um i don't know anyone who's dutch the netherlands like from another i don't know anyone
00:28:00.800
from there okay all right um she goose stepped in here yeah uh so okay you we'll go around the table
00:28:07.760
well actually before we get to you um has anybody dated someone internationally compare and contrast
00:28:14.480
with american men i mean you're you got some indian dating experience so india dating experience
00:28:21.680
what do you want to know about in a dating experience compare them to american men compare
00:28:25.680
to american oh yeah i would say they are they call you forever ready for marriage
00:28:29.760
hey what sorry they are forever ready for marriage okay as as as as an indians are forever
00:28:37.600
ready for marriage yeah i would say like 70 percent of them they want to take because they want to
00:28:42.880
get married but as you find american men a little bit harder to sort of lock down oh i have a couple
00:28:50.960
of friends i wouldn't say i haven't dated that much so i don't know the thoughts about that but
00:28:55.520
like i have friends they are in dating life and they are just you know seeing each other i've
00:28:59.200
i've seen this they're just like they're seeing each other and sees wherever it goes and none no
00:29:05.600
don't want to get married no thoughts about it definitely no to marriage thoughts like that
00:29:13.200
anybody else yeah my boyfriend's um international too it's long distance but in my
00:29:18.640
um um so my boyfriend's also international in my experience is um even if there's different like
00:29:28.560
if there's similar hookup cultures in different countries um other countries the guys will put in
00:29:33.600
a little bit more effort so whether that's flowers or taking you out on dates or complimenting you they're
00:29:39.040
a lot sweeter um than these american men who are i guess accustomed to the hookup culture that we have
00:29:45.120
here where it's a little bit less effort to get into a situationship or to like get with someone
00:29:51.120
what do you why do you think the reason is that men aren't giving you flowers and being sweet
00:29:55.840
well i think that abroad men are just raised a little bit differently like in my culture like
00:30:02.160
i'm russian it's standard that there needs to be flowers in the house and so these men are raised to
00:30:07.280
bring flowers to their mom to their sisters not just the girls that they're trying to get with
00:30:13.040
here in america i don't think that's taught so if you went on a first date with a guy and he bought
00:30:16.880
flowers you'd be flooded by that yeah i think that's an extra step um it shows that he cares
00:30:22.960
that he's putting in the effort you said your your current boyfriend it's long distance where's
00:30:28.000
where's he from he's in israel okay um so he's israeli okay um and so okay um he's is and you said it's
00:30:39.280
always been long distance or yeah so um yeah i met him in the summer lived there for a little
00:30:44.720
bit and now i'm doing long distance okay um so you say men american men they don't put in enough
00:30:52.560
effort as much yeah and you said you did say that uh the men in these other countries perhaps where
00:31:00.000
they do make more effort they're they're raised differently and when you say they're raised differently
00:31:04.000
do you mean they're raised better perhaps in terms of how they treat women yeah i think so
00:31:09.920
there's a lot more emphasis do you do you also think correspondingly that the women in these other
00:31:15.200
countries are also raised better i can't really speak on that in terms of relationships because
00:31:22.480
i've never like gone on dates i've never seen how a woman would treat me in a different um country okay
00:31:28.240
all right uh anybody else do you have experience international guys i don't have any national guys
00:31:37.200
okay we'll come back we'll come to you then since you originally uh made the comments um so american
00:31:41.680
boys you're fed up with american boys um can you expand on that what do you what's your been what's
00:31:48.240
your experience been it's the accents it's what gets me i love the accents no i'm kidding
00:31:53.360
oh okay well that too but um i mean maybe it's because i meet all these people like i also travel
00:31:59.120
a lot so i meet a lot of people in like hostels or people who are traveling all over the world
00:32:03.200
like you tend to be a little bit more open you know if you're traveling and just like more genuine
00:32:08.320
so maybe the international people that i've met are you know just kind of like-minded in that way
00:32:13.440
but yeah i don't know it's just more fun um it's more interesting to me like i like learning
00:32:20.560
about you know your country your culture where you're from um that's just something that i'm
00:32:25.600
interested in um the banter is different you know the the language even is different it's just like
00:32:31.520
a whole new realm it's fun okay any um i think you've provided some reasons why perhaps you prefer
00:32:39.760
dating uh not american men is there any do you have any criticisms though of american
00:32:45.200
men criticisms of yeah it sounded like well here's the positives of dating yeah international
00:32:50.400
yeah yeah tell us whatever that what are some of the uh i mean shana talked a lot about it like the
00:32:54.720
effort i mean we like i go to school here yeah isla vista is a huge hookup culture like the frats
00:33:01.440
here you know they don't even let like guys into the parties it's only like the frat guys and then like
00:33:07.680
beautiful beautiful women and they kind of like sit on like the fence and like look for the for women to
00:33:13.920
like pick the the hookup culture here is crazy i just i don't know and i think that american men
00:33:19.440
just aren't as mature at our age at 20 as people in other countries who aren't as coddled and who
00:33:27.040
might you know have to work or i do not even work just like do they're just raised differently i don't
00:33:32.320
know more mature okay uh so it sounds like lack of effort is certainly uh lack of effort and depth
00:33:39.760
lack of depth i feel like and i want to ask the oh we got one here grid one motorsports donated
00:33:46.480
two hundred dollars as much as i disagree with it this entire panel makes the convincing
00:33:52.480
argument for arranged marriage shallow vapid arrogant and deranged just barely begins to cover
00:33:59.840
the list of red flags all right i will say we have no only fan scrolls on tonight can i get a in the
00:34:07.680
chat can i get a look some compliments uh in the w's oh seven hundred and seventy seven six trillion
00:34:16.960
seven hundred and seventy seven quintillion seven hundred and seventy seven quadrillions
00:34:22.240
seven hundred and seventy seven trillion seven hundred and seventy seven billion seven hundred and
00:34:56.000
So, wait, going back to the effort thing, going around the panel, do you guys think that men don't put in enough effort when it comes to modern, or when it comes to dating, starting with you?
00:35:13.720
I've had experience with L.A. boys dating, and it's just a no for me.
00:35:20.140
They're kind of like leeches, even though you know the connection is not there right off the bat.
00:35:23.960
I'm a cut-and-run type of girl, so I have literally ditched dates before, even if I was the ride.
00:35:36.820
Cut-and-run is just kind of like I'm whether or not feeling anything romantic or potential, and I'm not big on hookups, maybe in high school a little bit.
00:35:47.040
But, like, now it's just, no, like, I would never, I would, if I was in a relationship right now, I would not date at the moment.
00:35:58.620
If I wasn't in a relationship right now, I would not date at the moment.
00:36:02.420
Well, so, have you ever done a bathroom break where you've just said, I'm going to the toilet and then left?
00:36:20.320
Wait, so, can you break down the whole, so you'll just leave a date?
00:36:25.340
Will you tell the date that you're, oh, that's nice.
00:36:28.340
Well, I will leave them after I say, like, a few times I want to go home or this, like, I'm not, like, never, like, at their place.
00:36:49.860
I don't think it's, I mean, you use the term cut-and-run.
00:36:52.100
And to me, that sort of paints it to me as if you're, like, walking up, doing the bathroom thing, and then just kind of ghosting.
00:37:00.680
If you're not feeling it, it occurs to me that it certainly would, it's fair to, you know, some diplomatically and politely communicate that, you know, you don't feel a connection.
00:37:12.160
Are you actually, like, just, ha, ha, I'm going to the bathroom?
00:37:18.860
Pretty much I'll, like, grab a friend or something.
00:37:20.880
If it's at a party setting, I'll grab a friend and be like, let's go.
00:37:23.560
But the last time I did it was when I went to the beach in Venice and I was the driver and he would not leave.
00:37:33.980
So when, he even said he would pay for, like, the parking.
00:37:36.980
So I was, like, okay, when he goes to place for parking, I'm going to just leave him there.
00:37:48.040
So what's, like, what's the worst story where you actually felt a little bit bad after it?
00:37:56.520
If you were that person, you might have felt bad.
00:38:01.600
I get a ride home, you know, talk to a friend about it.
00:38:04.520
I would never keep company with someone who didn't want my company in return.
00:38:11.840
So there's no stories where you can think that were particularly memorable?
00:38:18.540
That maybe someone else with a conscience would have felt bad at all?
00:38:24.620
Wait, I'm just, so how many times, because, like, you said there was once where you were at a party.
00:38:30.460
I mean, I feel like that's a bit different than if you've intentionally gone out one-on-one to meet somebody.
00:38:37.040
If you're just, if it's more of a casual thing, like, oh, yeah, we can meet at this party.
00:38:42.020
I mean, I think that's a little less if you just, like, dipped from the party.
00:38:47.540
I don't object to that to the same degree if it was, like, a scheduled date.
00:38:52.880
But it sounds like you've done that on dates, right?
00:38:58.440
Well, on a date, it's, like, one time he had one penny in his bank account after ordering so much food.
00:39:06.680
And I wasn't going to pay for it, so I excused myself nicely and left.
00:39:11.900
So he had one penny after paying for all the food for you guys?
00:39:18.640
And he wasn't aware that he had only a penny before the date?
00:39:30.860
Oh, I called my friend, and she lived down the street from the restaurant, and her boyfriend ended up paying for him, but I just didn't see him after that.
00:39:41.000
I mean, if you're going to go on a date, you should probably be prepared to take care of it.
00:39:52.160
Yeah, he asked you to go get food, and maybe he was hustling.
00:39:55.560
Did it never occur to you that maybe you might have to pay?
00:40:00.280
I thought about paying, but I was, like, so into, like, my business at the time that I was, like, I'm not about to pay for a guy who flexes so much, acts so wealthy, drives nice cars, and then has a penny on his card.
00:40:36.360
So, do you think men should put in more effort?
00:40:47.520
Like, just know what you want before you start dating.
00:40:50.260
If you, like, if you want to go out there and have fun, go have fun.
00:40:53.340
Like, if you don't want to put in that much effort, that's totally fine.
00:40:56.760
If you want to be in a relationship, don't string people along.
00:41:06.160
Uh, right now, I don't want to date, so that's my intention, is not dating.
00:41:12.140
So, if someone that you found attractive were to, uh, interact with you, you would say,
00:41:22.700
Yeah, right now, like, I don't want anything, but I'm still open to, like...
00:41:46.380
Do you think men, they don't put in enough effort?
00:41:48.540
I don't think it's about putting in more effort or less effort.
00:41:52.580
It's about putting in the effort in the right places, which then comes down to learning about
00:42:01.280
So, when you know your love languages, then that's where the effort needs to be put into.
00:42:05.660
So, often, you'd see men giving in what their love language is and saying, like, they like
00:42:13.520
to get gifts and they're gonna give this woman all these gifts, all these gifts, all these
00:42:18.180
I'm doing all these things for you, but if she doesn't care about material stuff and
00:42:22.260
what she wants is just, like, time or to be talked to or, like, little things like
00:42:28.540
that, then to her, she's not gonna recept it and she's gonna be like, you're not doing
00:42:35.360
What's the love language that you like to receive?
00:42:41.000
Have you had to whittle it down to your favorite few?
00:42:46.660
There's more of them and I don't know all that right now.
00:43:05.260
So, a good way to know your love languages are how you give to other people, because that's
00:43:10.000
We learned the rainbow rule in school of treat others how you want to be treated.
00:43:14.820
Let's treat others how they need to be treated.
00:43:24.860
And often I've run into situations where they're like, oh, I don't really care about birthdays.
00:43:31.160
And that's where you realize it's like, okay, that's more about me than it is about them.
00:43:40.160
See, that's where it goes into the other one, is like that there's intellect.
00:43:45.360
I like a good debate, not getting into an argument, but able to have that debate back
00:43:53.260
So, would you consider yourself more on the left, like the liberal side of the, of the
00:43:59.080
I consider myself like out in space when it comes to all that.
00:44:10.120
Um, it's a hard question because I was in a relationship with a spiritual guy and I
00:44:23.140
think that a lot of men that are coming into spirituality are not ethically working with
00:44:43.260
I think the best way to know that you don't want a spiritual guy is to date one.
00:44:50.240
If they're coming off like, oh, I know all this, like, come hang out with me and we're
00:44:54.240
spiritual in love and let me like massage on you, like, that's red flags, okay?
00:44:58.700
That's like, if they're going in and they're taking their time to not date and do their work
00:45:02.820
and they'll talk about their emotions and they'll cry with you, that's a spiritual guy
00:45:06.280
that I'm interested in spending more time with.
00:45:08.220
I mean, what if they're, like, trying to do Reiki?
00:45:14.920
No, but it's like, don't they do, like, this shit?
00:45:17.640
If you're certified in that and you're doing that practice and it seems appropriate...
00:45:20.700
Do you strike me as somebody who might be into the spiritual realm a little bit?
00:45:56.160
About how, like, if you're a Taurus, that that means, like, you are, like, bound to certain
00:46:01.840
personality traits and behaviors and just based on the alignment of the stars, which
00:46:20.240
The basic, like, the basic part of astrology, so we are born with our zodiac sign that we
00:46:24.780
all know, the month that we're born in, for instance, I'm born in June, so I'd be a
00:46:37.420
Anyway, so that is only one part of our being, right?
00:46:42.680
And it goes even past these three, but the first part is our big three.
00:46:45.400
So we have our sun sign, our moon sign, and your rising sign, and this would be...
00:46:50.900
So your sun sign is kind of like how you're portrayed on the outside to other people, to
00:46:57.440
Your moon sign is going to be about your emotions, your sensuality, how you kind of deal and cope
00:47:05.020
And then your rising sign is going to be, like, who you truly are to yourself, going to
00:47:09.400
be, like, the things that maybe no one else knows about you.
00:47:12.760
So when you're reading a horoscope in the newspaper and we read our sun sign, we might
00:47:19.900
But if you actually start reading your rising sign, it might resonate with you a little bit
00:47:24.320
And then that goes so much deeper into all the layers of...
00:47:28.880
It's like, you have a Gemini, but if you have a Gemini Taurus, they're going to be different
00:47:35.800
And yeah, it could be way more than a half an hour talk, so...
00:47:38.880
You could talk about astrology for more than...
00:47:51.060
The rising is where, in the sky, where the sun was in the horizon, like, on the horizon.
00:48:07.140
That would explain why you are so busy in your work all the time.
00:48:12.420
Capricorns are all about working, about drive, and that's why we get into, right now, we're
00:48:17.740
in a winter season, which is about hibernating, but we're in a Capricorn season, which we think
00:48:22.440
that we need to make a goal, and we need to make New Year's resolutions, and drive, drive,
00:48:25.780
drive, when we're actually supposed to be hibernating.
00:48:27.820
So we get all these people who then beat up on themselves and can't meet their goals.
00:48:37.160
I know they're very generally liked by a lot of people.
00:48:40.420
They like to be, like, just eccentric a little bit.
00:48:52.440
So, okay, well, if you want to get interested, that's what I'm saying.
00:48:54.800
So that's all of our, I just learned that that's our tropical chart, and if you go into
00:48:58.780
the side reel, that changes your whole identity, and that's more real, so it's a whole thing.
00:49:20.780
It's who you are as a person at the end of the day.
00:49:26.580
If that's the case, then you tend to have putting effort in a relationship.
00:49:32.920
I think the majority of my past relationships, I would say they did not put in enough effort.
00:49:37.960
Yeah, I mean, I would say certain men definitely need to put in more effort.
00:49:47.220
And last, like, my relationship, all of the men made efforts, and that's how it worked out, I would say.
00:49:53.720
So for those of you who said that men aren't putting in enough effort, men should put in more effort, what does that look like?
00:50:06.800
Just emotional intelligence, being aware of what you want.
00:50:13.640
Like, the relationships that work out for me are when he and I both want to be there for each other in every single way and do things that make each other happy.
00:50:22.780
And just a point of clarification, I'm talking more so during those very early stages when you're just meeting the first couple dates when it comes to effort.
00:50:32.200
Obviously, things can tend to evolve and change once you're a bit further into a relationship.
00:50:37.540
But, like, for example, one example of wanting a guy to make more effort, and a complaint I've heard from a lot of women, is a tendency from some men to just text a girl at 11 p.m., what you're doing, WID, you know, not putting in a lot of effort, perhaps, to make a plan to actually, here, meet me Friday, 7 p.m., I'll pick you up, that sort of thing.
00:51:00.720
That's a complaint I frequently hear from women.
00:51:08.360
The question, then, is how much effort do you put in?
00:51:11.160
What do you offer a man other than three usable holes and an attitude?
00:51:15.420
Why would a man worth having look at you twice?
00:51:22.140
But, so, there's these expectations on men to take initiative, pay for the first date, make the first move, do X, Y, Z.
00:51:33.500
That's my sense of what putting in an effort is in terms of the initial courtship stages.
00:51:39.120
So, if men are expected to pay for first dates, ask you out, pick you up, open car doors, get you flowers, et cetera, what are women expected to do to build a relationship in the initial stages?
00:51:54.840
Good communication, showing feelings, and, like, thankfulness, gratefulness.
00:52:02.060
I mean, good communication, it occurs to me that both parties, it's not clear to me if that's...
00:52:08.440
Yeah, but a girl could totally be accepting all these things from a guy and then just kind of, like, oh, he texts, I'll text later, or, you know, just kind of pushing him away and getting the good stuff.
00:52:17.840
Okay, so the bare minimum is what a girl should do.
00:52:21.460
No, no, if you like the guy and he's showing all of these amazing signs and how he's a man, then you would, you know, I would accept it appreciatively.
00:52:31.680
So, accepting the gift is how you put in effort is all you're saying?
00:52:37.240
I think, yeah, like, a lot of the times women, especially, like, we want men to, like, put us into our feminine, right?
00:52:45.200
We want the guy to be a little bit more dominant and, like, him making those plans and him showing that is, like, that's attractive and that's showing us that, okay, this is something, like, I also want to pursue.
00:52:56.380
Like, so, again, yeah, like, communicating with him with that, just, I don't know, like, just connecting.
00:53:01.220
Would you say that giving flowers on a first date is dominant and masculine?
00:53:04.820
Oh, it depends on the person, like, for me, gift giving is not my love language, so, like, I.
00:53:10.000
So, we're in a bit of trouble here, because we're damned if we do, damned if we don't.
00:53:12.680
It depends, like, for me, it's, like, flowers, I don't really care too much, like, it doesn't, like, okay, maybe it's a nice touch, but, yeah, that goes into what you like.
00:53:24.220
I've actually heard from a couple previous women who've been on the show that they would actually punish that sort of thing.
00:53:30.640
Not all women, but, like, some women would be, like, that's way too extra, way too much up front initially.
00:53:40.540
Because I think a lot of girls don't want a guy to be doing all this extra shit way too soon.
00:53:45.500
No, I'd wait at least a few dates before I was to bring flowers or do anything.
00:53:52.880
I think it's a good, you know, maybe a couple flowers.
00:53:58.140
But if you're in other countries, they actually appreciate, like, Eastern Europe, like you were saying.
00:54:02.180
But over here, girls will actually punish you for it, unfortunately.
00:54:11.080
Basically, just like we said, it was years ago, but just giving flowers.
00:54:14.180
And then eventually you sort of realize as a guy that what you got taught in the movies, in the notebook, or whatever movies that sort of inform our relationships these days, it's all wrong.
00:54:28.860
And that's why we have so many simps these days, unfortunately.
00:54:37.880
Simp is giving, like, affection and gifts and all this stuff, like you guys just said.
00:55:01.100
I think that's what we mean about communication.
00:55:03.300
If that's what you meant by communication, yeah, then absolutely.
00:55:06.720
But you want a girl, because especially if you sleep with a girl, you want it to mean a lot to her.
00:55:11.760
Because if it doesn't mean anything to her, then it shows that she's kind of a hoe, and she does that a lot.
00:55:17.980
So you want a girl to be a simp and to be, like, really, like, invested in the fact that you guys are dating.
00:55:28.040
And especially if we're going to go to the stage where I'm giving you flowers.
00:55:31.460
I mean, yeah, the simping has to be there, for sure.
00:55:33.900
Girls get rewarded for simping, and guys get punished.
00:55:44.820
I think I've had experiences where guys are a lot really early on, and it scares me off.
00:55:49.720
But then I also have the exact opposite, where they're not doing enough.
00:55:53.700
And I'm sure you can agree, too, on the woman's side, too.
00:55:55.580
If you see a girl that's completely drowning for your attention, it's probably not the biggest turn on.
00:56:01.600
You have to not, like, drowning for it, but just putting in the effort, you know?
00:56:06.740
Because a lot of girls these days think, oh, I'm a boss babe.
00:56:15.480
If I wanted someone who was going to be hard and compete with me and be masculine, I'd just go hang out with the boys.
00:56:22.040
It's just about, yeah, communicating, being vulnerable with your feelings.
00:56:37.660
I want to go back really quick to some of the people's relationship statuses.
00:56:41.360
So, we have so single and then never been in a relationship.
00:56:59.380
I was going to say because you're dating at college or like you're so single, but like you were previously dating at college?
00:57:10.420
If you're looking for someone who's a little bit more sort of stable?
00:57:14.900
But you're not doing that at the moment, being so single?
00:57:17.500
I just got back from being on the other side of the world.
00:57:19.860
I have a lot of like passions and like career things that I'm doing.
00:57:25.140
I don't have the time or effort to invest in a relationship and I don't want to hook up really right now.
00:57:56.420
I mean, I just don't want to be committed to anyone right now.
00:58:01.000
I really, really like having experiences with people.
00:58:04.060
And, you know, if that leads to sex, then that leads to sex.
00:58:08.420
It's whatever it's in the moment, I think, is what I feel like is what I do with people.
00:58:12.080
Well, so currently, you know, are there people you're...
00:58:24.000
Can you ask the sneaking in means, like, what you're trying to say?
00:58:27.260
Uh, sneaky link, it's kind of like someone you're very casually hooking up with and...
00:58:36.820
I mean, the sneaky part is, like, nobody else might know about it.
00:58:51.200
You got, like, because I detect, like, I feel like you got Riz.
00:59:00.320
Like, I think you got game with both men and women, though.
00:59:14.000
I think that's the best compliment I've ever received in my whole life.
00:59:18.520
But I think, like, you know, you step to a girl and the girl's like, oh, what's up?
00:59:24.200
I'm curious, though, because of your, like, insane levels of Riz.
00:59:37.540
Not even talking to, but just, like, one person at a time.
01:00:07.020
Well, I was going to say serial monogamist, but it sounds like you haven't really had a
01:00:19.720
Like, I go on dates with people, and, you know, if we don't vibe, I'll be very straight
01:00:23.240
up, and I'll be like, you know, like, I'm not really feeling this.
01:00:30.680
I don't want to waste your time, and I don't want you to waste mine, personally.
01:01:00.960
Well, typically, I'll either go, like, to restaurants or go to the gym with a guy that's, like, the
01:01:09.260
Well, I'm a power lifter, so I feel like I go for guys who go to the gym, and so we kind
01:01:27.500
I think Spencer was like, let me do the jujitsu conversion.
01:01:37.740
Do you think if I laid there like a prawn, you could lift me?
01:01:51.360
We'll use one of the smaller members of the band.
01:02:05.540
Like, if you're on a date and you're not really feeling it, like, will you up front and just
01:02:15.940
Not the last date I went on, it was really good.
01:02:17.640
But the date before that, I was just not feeling it.
01:02:20.260
The guy showed up two hours late and he brought a friend.
01:02:37.280
And then he texts me and he's like, by the way, I brought my friend.
01:02:42.340
So, I'm like trying to get my roommate in on this.
01:02:44.460
But then it turns out he's two hours late, so my roommate doesn't want to go.
01:02:47.120
So, it's me, him, and then his friend trying to go bowling.
01:02:51.680
And so, I was very respectful throughout the whole date.
01:02:54.660
But then after the fact, I was just like, hey, like, I just don't think this is going
01:02:59.220
I got to give you flowers on that because two hours late, he's asking to bring a friend
01:03:06.180
We don't know what the texts were, but I'm going to take your word for it.
01:03:08.820
It was very clear that it was like you were going to meet up with him for a date.
01:03:17.140
I mean, I would have, if I think more than 20 minutes, you'd...
01:03:26.680
The guy's in the wrong in that situation, 100%.
01:03:36.460
I never really asked why he was with his friend.
01:03:40.760
Like halfway through the date, I was just like, yeah.
01:03:50.180
Why would you want to go and catch your friend's date?
01:03:50.720
No, honestly, I was talking to the friend more than the date himself.
01:03:56.420
The friend was weird, too, that he agrees to go with him.
01:04:07.080
I was going to say, maybe that's why he brought the friend.
01:04:09.080
And was like, okay, this is my hot friend, and all my girlfriends always leave me for
01:04:12.440
my hotter friend, so if I bring him, and she doesn't flirt with him, then it's okay.
01:04:20.960
You want to bring the ugly, gregarious friend, not the better-looking friend.
01:04:24.860
I just don't think you should bring a friend in general on a date.
01:04:31.160
Okay, there's two just absolutely egregious things going on here.
01:04:36.060
The two hours late, egregious, bringing the friend, egregious.
01:04:49.820
I think it's, at the end of the day, though, better find out sooner that the dude has like
01:04:59.580
I'm sorry, but if you're two hours late and then you're asking to bring a friend, there's...
01:05:21.920
Oh, I can't say that word on here, but maybe his friend really needed a friend, and he was in
01:05:26.040
one of those times, and he couldn't be alone, and so his friend was actually a really good
01:05:29.200
friend, and he's like, sorry, I've got to bring my buddy with me.
01:05:34.980
We cannot make judgments without understanding.
01:05:36.500
I don't care about people's problems when you're going on a date.
01:05:40.100
Like, if you're two hours late and you're having a problem, if you're having some anxiety
01:05:47.820
Oh, I want to ask some more clarifying details on that.
01:05:55.540
So, originally, it was supposed to be at 8 p.m.
01:06:11.000
At what point prior to 8 p.m. did he text you saying, hey, I'm running...
01:06:16.080
Like, did he make it very clear here, I can meet at 10 p.m.?
01:06:19.320
He texted me around 7, saying he was going to be an hour late, and then, you know,
01:06:23.800
the hour late comes by, and he's like, give me another hour.
01:06:27.360
I mean, it's at least good that he told you an hour in advance that he was going to be
01:06:36.520
Like, you could have gone to the place, and he's texting you at 8 p.m., you're already
01:06:47.800
So, he picked you up at 10, so he ended up being two hours late.
01:06:50.860
Yeah, and so we get to the bowling alley at 11, right, and there's an hour wait, and the
01:06:58.100
We get there at, like, 10.05, 10.10, but the bowling alley closes at 11, and there's
01:07:06.660
So, me, him, and his friend are just chatting in this car as he takes me home, and that was
01:07:19.160
He said, you want to go inside and drink some wine and go kick it?
01:07:24.160
Okay, I was just about to say, I was going to say, did it ever occur to you, maybe you
01:07:40.800
I think, again, communication and honesty, if you know you're going to be late, just tell
01:08:09.460
All these guys, these terrible American men, they're not putting in enough effort.
01:08:13.420
I think the question was, what are women doing in terms of their effort during those initial
01:08:22.060
What do women do initially to build a relationship?
01:08:38.640
So you're saying, if he wasn't pursuing it, and I wanted to, what would I be doing?
01:08:45.080
Well, let's say there's a mutual level of interest.
01:08:47.600
Mutual level of interest, and you guys are going on dates.
01:08:51.360
What you said, like, I'm going to pick you up at this time.
01:08:58.180
So I guess I would just ask him, like, meaningful questions and remember them and do little thoughtful
01:09:08.640
So my love language is acts of service, so I feel like I'll counter, if someone does
01:09:12.820
something for me, I'll be like, oh, let me do something for you.
01:09:16.700
So, like, if a guy shows up with flowers on one date, the next date, maybe, you know, I
01:09:20.540
Like, it's like a little back and forth, you know?
01:09:29.640
I don't expect flowers on the first date, but I do think that if a man puts in that investment,
01:09:37.040
Like, whether, you know, that relationship continues, me getting him gifts on a higher
01:09:43.100
degree than flowers, like Lily said, cooking dinner, it comes back in a different way.
01:09:49.200
I think that men have, this is my opinion, I know a lot of people disagree with that.
01:09:53.000
I think men have a, not a role, but certain things that they can do to get a woman, and
01:09:59.120
Like, giving him loyalty during that talking stage.
01:10:01.960
Um, you know, being free for him, we are busy too, you know?
01:10:07.300
Um, so making time for those dates, helping plan those dates, doing dates that he enjoys,
01:10:12.660
like finding out his hobbies and doing the things that he likes, getting to know him.
01:10:16.700
Um, that's the effort we put in during that, like, talking stage.
01:10:21.740
Especially the being loyal during that initial stage.
01:10:36.900
Oh, did you have, or did you guys have anything over here?
01:10:39.860
Do you guys have anything to add about what a lady should do?
01:10:46.040
I would just say a big one is just being there, like, emotionally and physically.
01:10:50.920
Yeah, I do also believe in equal efforts from both the side.
01:10:55.780
One time a person is paying, I would say next time I'm ready.
01:10:59.400
And I would love to do that for him if I see he's doing things for me.
01:11:04.460
And also, yeah, the time, I would say time is the most important.
01:11:09.260
And, like, being nice and, like, showing him, like, I'm really interested in him.
01:11:14.720
Yeah, if I am, that's why I'm pursuing it, like, for, like, further.
01:11:18.900
Just not, like, killing his time and just showing him, like, kind of, mostly, like, I've seen this, oh, just show the less interest.
01:11:29.280
I have some pre-show, some of you were able to provide some pre-show notes, so I'm just going to go over some of those pre-show notes.
01:11:44.240
You said you were recently in the Love Triangle.
01:11:53.400
So it was, I was spending a lot of time, I would say, just my free time.
01:11:57.360
I was just spending with the guy and, yeah, my girlfriend used to like him, too.
01:12:28.060
No, actually, we talked about it, and he wanted to date a girl who was actually willing to marry,
01:12:33.120
because he thinks he's 30, he's well-settled, so he wanted to get married.
01:12:36.920
And I said I'm 24, my struggling life has just started here, so I can't commit to you,
01:12:45.760
You just find your goal, whatever you're looking for.
01:12:49.960
You do want to get married eventually, correct?
01:13:19.280
If you know about a girl, you know about a boy, too.
01:13:42.900
You're really quiet, so can you make sure you're really on the mic?
01:13:47.160
You can scoot the chair a little closer to the...
01:13:53.080
I would say you knew it if you were sleeping with that guy.
01:14:30.460
Yeah, but I can usually bring myself to climax.
01:14:40.780
Like, I would either just be like, eh, all right.
01:14:47.780
Did you reckon he had, like, a kink for faking it?
01:14:53.540
Do you think that it was, like, a kink for him?
01:15:07.140
I would say I'm, like, less into all these dating hairs.
01:15:16.980
So, going around the table, I think this is probably pretty rare, but has a guy ever faked
01:15:28.820
Going back around this way, have you ever faked an O?
01:15:44.720
Wait, so that was yes for everyone besides you?
01:15:51.840
I think a couple, maybe one or two of you said good communication is important.
01:15:55.660
Do you guys think good communication is important?
01:16:07.900
But, in a very important aspect of relationships, why is it that y'all be faking orgasms?
01:16:22.740
Just with the casual sexual encounters with hot, sexy Europeans?
01:16:47.080
You don't know exactly how it all works in there.
01:16:49.880
So, sometimes it doesn't, like, always go there.
01:16:52.180
And you might, like, be satisfied in your feeling and your situation and still want to give them...
01:17:11.660
So, you rather them stop and say, I'm sorry, you're not doing a good job and your dish
01:17:22.220
The truth would be a girl not faking an orgasm and...
01:17:27.540
It would be her stopping and saying she doesn't like you.
01:17:40.860
If your partner was failing to pleasure you, is that how you would go about in an intimate
01:17:47.000
Just kind of bluntly and ruthlessly just saying, yeah, you kind of fucking suck.
01:18:12.640
When you say this isn't feeling good, are you communicating that like it's painful or
01:18:17.080
discomforting or it's just you're not feeling pleasure or sensation?
01:18:23.560
They're not knowing what they're doing or it's just not what you want.
01:18:27.960
Maybe they're really into doing something and you want them to do something else.
01:18:43.280
I'm sure there's a diplomatic way and then there's like a way that would like totally
01:18:57.040
Because they aren't precisely hitting the correct spot in that precise moment.
01:19:00.660
If the mood is killed, it's hard to come back up, you know?
01:19:06.440
It might be a little selfish, but if I'm not feeling it and it's just not going good and
01:19:11.420
I'm just like, okay, I'm not into this anymore.
01:19:14.440
So if it's like momentarily not feeling good, like if you're not continuously feeling pleasure,
01:19:23.220
you're just going to like abruptly stop the sex?
01:19:28.540
Have you ever had that situation with somebody you have a deeper connection with?
01:19:33.080
Somebody that you've been on dates, you've been in a relationship with, and you've had
01:19:46.240
And just sitting there being like, oh, yeah, I like this.
01:20:09.760
No, but I'm confused why you're saying men are so difficult to please, but you abruptly
01:20:16.300
ending the sexual encounter or interrupting the sexual encounter, it seems strictly because
01:20:22.940
of your lack of specific pleasure in that specific moment.
01:20:27.080
It's not just like a one little like, oh, you messed up for one moment, that's it.
01:20:31.880
But if you're trying and you say, hmm, let's try something else and that's like...
01:20:35.860
Do you think maybe you're not attracted to the person though?
01:20:38.520
Do you think maybe you're not attracted to the person?
01:20:40.300
It sounds like you're very worried about the physical feeling, but if you're sharing
01:20:43.640
that intimacy with somebody who you actually care about, then that situation is not going
01:20:47.900
to occur where you're just so off it because you're sharing something very intimate.
01:20:53.680
Do you think you maybe just don't like the person and you should be careful?
01:20:56.720
I think that there's some times that you're just not into that.
01:21:00.120
Do you think you may be a little bit too worried about the physical pleasure and sensation
01:21:03.620
rather than the actual act that you're engaging in?
01:21:08.500
I think I was saying something about communication being important.
01:21:16.980
Y'all can't, you got to stop faking orgasms, guys.
01:21:20.640
Just let the guy take the L and then, you know, let him take the L, you know, I think.
01:21:28.640
Especially, but I don't understand the logic of, well, in a relationship, I wouldn't, and
01:21:33.340
I don't know if that was everyone's response, but I know you said that, but in a casual encounter,
01:21:39.440
Well, it would occur to me, wouldn't it, not that I think you should fake it in a relationship,
01:21:44.180
but wouldn't it make, like, if you don't give a fuck about this casual encounter person,
01:21:53.900
It's just like, if you're having a good time with someone, like, I don't know, and it's
01:22:02.980
Not really sure which Waffle House you picked up these ladies from, but maybe try IHOP next
01:22:10.500
All this talk of communication, and they can't even express what gets them off.
01:22:21.560
I mean, you often hear women, you know, they often say they wish men communicated better.
01:22:26.060
Men are poor communicators, but also it's, you know, I'll be faking orgasms.
01:22:33.520
Well, you're talking very sexually versus planning dates and stuff.
01:22:36.620
You're trying to compare two forms of communication.
01:22:39.200
Well, I mean, I think when we're talking about communication, we can talk about all sorts
01:22:43.900
But, like, I think we can all agree sex is an important part of a relationship.
01:22:48.180
And if you're not being satisfied, and you know you can, but you're not communicated,
01:22:53.620
and you're defaulting to, here, let me fake an orgasm, that's not, you're not communicating
01:22:59.280
your lack of receiving pleasure and being able to climax.
01:23:03.940
Yeah, but look, like, if you're traveling, you know you're never going to see this person
01:23:08.000
You're having a good time, or you guys are friends, you know, you're leaving the next
01:23:12.840
I mean, maybe this is healthy, but, like, sit then down and be like, okay, this is actually
01:23:16.520
really what I like, this is what makes me comfortable, these are my boundaries, blah, blah, blah.
01:23:20.080
If you're having a moment and stuff, I mean, either fake the orgasm or don't fake the orgasm,
01:23:25.640
But if it's in a relationship or something more serious, something that you know you're
01:23:29.200
going to see this person again, then I think it's very important to communicate.
01:23:36.900
Yeah, I mean, I certainly agree that it would be more important to not fake orgasms if this
01:23:42.560
is somebody that you're pursuing for a long-term relationship versus.
01:23:46.520
I suppose I don't have a super strong objection if you're just, if it's a casual encounter,
01:23:53.560
although I'm not really in favor of casual encounters, but, at least from my point of
01:24:02.480
It's not something I'm particularly interested in, but I think even in a casual encounter,
01:24:09.000
you could be like, and it doesn't, the communication, I mean, it's just like, could just be like, rub
01:24:20.920
Has anybody here faked an orgasm in a relationship or with somebody who you wanted to pursue
01:24:32.880
It was only the first time, but I communicated it to him afterwards.
01:24:37.480
Yeah, so, we talked about it, and we fixed it, so, yeah, but I just felt scared in the
01:24:42.820
I didn't want to say anything, because I didn't want to hurt his feelings, obviously.
01:24:59.620
You said you believe, if you feel attracted towards someone, you should just come clean
01:25:08.160
Yeah, I would say, like, just don't play with the feelings.
01:25:10.720
Like, you want to have, like, a, oh, I want to take it more further.
01:25:20.340
Don't go on more dates, because I'm not going to do that.
01:25:22.960
But I think don't play with the feelings and don't make it, like, more forward dates
01:25:29.020
You should be clear with intention, whatever you want.
01:25:32.020
So, if I want to go around the table on this, starting with you.
01:25:49.040
Let's say it's, like, very early on when you've met a guy.
01:25:55.700
And fairly early on in the interaction, he does exactly what you've suggested, exactly
01:26:03.580
A guy just point blank says, I'm trying to think the best way a guy could phrase this.
01:26:23.440
If a guy went up to me, if a guy went up to me and asked me, hey, you're cute, want to
01:26:35.140
I think, like, in theory, that's a good practice, like, so we don't get screwed over.
01:26:40.340
But, like, realistically, if I came to a date, in the back of my mind, I was like, okay,
01:26:46.980
sleeping with this man, I would never sleep with the man if he, like, outright just said,
01:26:52.020
I think when you come to these dates, there's a sense of what both people are trying to get
01:26:59.380
Personally, I would say no, just because I don't go on dates just to sleep with people.
01:27:07.460
What if you just went to have sex just to have sex with them?
01:27:11.620
If I was just going to have sex with them and they said, yeah, look, you want to have
01:27:16.960
I think it just depends on your intention going into the date.
01:27:19.500
Wait, so just to be clear, if a guy up front was like, hey, do you want to have sex?
01:27:27.260
Is it a pre-planned date or is this a random guy coming to me on the street?
01:27:34.200
Like, what's the background context with this guy?
01:27:40.300
You think he's attractive, had a little pleasant back and forth, that's the extent of it.
01:27:45.040
And if my intention was to hook up with this man and he said that, then we're on the same page.
01:27:52.940
But not all of my intentions on a dating app is just to sleep with people.
01:27:56.180
Okay, so so long as he asks it up front, but if he were to ask you, like, on a date just to grab some food, and then he asked it, then you would object?
01:28:06.240
It depends on if my intentions going on that date was to sleep with him or if it was to get to know him and, like, you know, like, further advance that more into a relationship.
01:28:16.060
If they walked up, like, no, I mean, there'd need to be more to that.
01:28:31.560
Wait, so, okay, you matched with a guy, you've been on a dating app?
01:28:42.620
And most of the ones that come up and say that, it's like, no.
01:28:49.160
See, I'm not really, like, that's not attractive to me.
01:28:52.260
If I was at a state of my life, and I know that there's many people out there who, yeah, like, they just want to have sex, and sex is fun for that.
01:28:59.220
And, you know, they're vibing with the person, and they're like, okay, do you want to go have sex?
01:29:04.120
But I'm personally, like, that's not where I'm at right now.
01:29:07.740
Would it be too forward, do you think, like, if a guy just straight up asked you, hey, do you want to have sex?
01:29:12.340
Not in a creepy way, but just, like, in the most, you know, just normal way you can ask somebody.
01:29:23.220
If he was super-duper hot, and I wanted to have sex, just sex, I didn't see him as anything else, and I think that's super, yeah, that's great.
01:29:34.260
See, the problem is that you girls always think about some creepy guy in a big coat when you think about this question.
01:29:43.360
I mean, maybe it's because of my age, because I'm 29, but, yeah, I think about the little college boys that are...
01:29:50.480
Wait, but so, hold on, just to be clear, so, wait, a guy that you would want to have a relationship with, you would want to wait to have sex?
01:30:04.080
Ooh, this isn't, we, I want to go around the table on that one, but, but if there was just some, like, hot dude, and, I'm trying to think how I frame this question.
01:30:15.760
Hmm, hmm, he was just straight up, wanted to have sex, he communicated it, you'd, you'd also go for that.
01:30:40.060
Okay, at that moment, if all you wanted was sex, okay.
01:30:43.340
I'm at the time in my life where I don't want to date, and it's a guy, and I'm friends with, and I don't see him as anything more than a friend, or, like, I just know I don't want to have a relationship with him like that, but, you know, there's some banter, there's some tension, he's like, okay, I really, like, I think you're really attractive, like, I want to have sex.
01:31:00.960
If I wanted, and that's what I wanted, then yes.
01:31:04.960
If you can start pulling it up, it's in the Dropbox folder.
01:31:14.580
It's a black, it's, like, a black screen grab from Reddit, F8L, in the, just the first Dropbox folder.
01:31:23.200
I mean, you don't need to show it to us, but get that pulled up, and then what about you, a guy, I know you're in a relationship right now, let's assume you were single, or back when you were single, guy walks up to you, or maybe matches with you on the dating app, it's just, hey, I think you're cute, do you want to have sex, yay or nay?
01:31:42.460
Probably from the dating app, even if he was really hot, not the first time, just because I'm going to assume that that's how all his dates go, and that's kind of gross, because to me, it's, like, exchanging souls, like, way more than just having sex.
01:31:57.200
It's kind of, like, giving a piece, which I feel fine, but, like, receiving, I don't know what I'm receiving.
01:32:05.960
Like, I don't want to get really into it, it's kind of spiritual, but just cooties.
01:32:15.900
I mean, that, and, like, I don't know, I'm just very, like, this is my temple, and I don't want bad energy from someone I don't know very well, even if he's attractive.
01:32:30.280
So, how long do you think, and I will return, I do want to return to the whole, you know, waiting, how long do you think you should wait before having sex with somebody?
01:32:44.460
Like, if I really like the guy, and I see potential, and I want to keep hanging out with him, then, of course, I would.
01:32:57.920
So, what if you're on the, you're, like, on the fence about the guy?
01:33:05.700
I'd be okay with having sex, even though I was kind of like, eh, maybe.
01:33:08.340
Well, your current boyfriend, how, was it the first date?
01:33:17.660
Second date, but there was a lot of time between them, because we met one day when I was still living in Missouri, and then he went back to California.
01:33:29.020
So, Nick, were you, don't pull it up yet, but do you, you have it?
01:33:33.440
Okay, we'll react to that in just a sec, so, um, I think the point was, so, actually, we'll go around the table on that.
01:33:42.180
How long do you think you should wait before having sex with somebody?
01:33:48.780
If I actually see a potential of a relationship, and I want to be in a relationship, I wait a while, I would say, more than the average person.
01:34:00.720
Coincidingly, though, if you don't see a potential for a relationship, you will, um, you're, you're willing to have sex immediately.
01:34:15.700
Uh, if I'm, like, traveling, and, yeah, I want to have experiences, yes.
01:34:24.760
You were in Europe, you said you were in Spain.
01:34:27.000
Did you go to any other countries, or just stuck?
01:34:29.620
Um, okay, so, if you're just traveling, so you are, you, you don't have any, uh, qualms with having sex with someone immediately.
01:34:41.660
Like, okay, while you were in Europe, like, was there just, like, some, some dude, maybe you were at a party or something, I don't know, and, like, an hour, an hour later, like, you guys are hooking up.
01:34:51.200
Okay, okay, um, so, okay, but, if you, if you mark the person as somebody you want to have something long-term with, then, how, do you have a sense of how long you'd like to wait?
01:35:09.700
Do you have an estimate, like, a couple weeks, a couple, couple dates, a couple months?
01:35:20.720
Wait, but I thought you, you, oh, no, you did have a one-year relationship, correct?
01:35:26.100
So, your one-year relationship, when, you're 20, correct?
01:35:29.740
When was the, how old were you when you had the one-year relationship?
01:35:36.460
Now, prior to the one-year relationship, um, did you have any of those experiences, or was it just kind of more fun, and?
01:35:45.900
Okay, so, your one-year relationship, was that the first guy that you had ever been with?
01:35:54.240
Okay, so, I mean, that changes things a little bit, because, I mean, so, you were, it was your first time having sex, you were a virgin,
01:36:00.500
so you waited a little bit, um, but after that relationship, um, you're more open to just having sex immediately.
01:36:14.420
Like, if I'm traveling and stuff, not, if I'm not, but I'm not looking.
01:36:17.180
And they wonder why we don't want to be traveling.
01:36:18.800
I'm not, but I'm, I'm, you know, I'm living in a place for, you know, four or six months.
01:36:24.440
I know that, like, it's not going to be a long-term relationship for me with Michael.
01:36:30.900
Like, it's, it's not like I'm going out there and I'm looking for people to hook up with.
01:36:34.960
If you had a long-term boyfriend, would you go traveling?
01:36:39.320
Do you think that he would be reasonable to have objections to that?
01:36:42.880
Uh, hopefully he wouldn't, or he would travel with me.
01:36:46.320
But, but you would go traveling by yourself, though?
01:36:59.900
I would not give up traveling at this point in my life for.
01:37:11.020
So, for example, like, you just were traveling.
01:37:13.360
It sounds like you just had some of these short-term, like, casual experiences.
01:37:17.860
Um, now that you're, how long have you been back here in Santa Barbara, in California?
01:37:31.260
Oh, I thought you were, like, shaking your head or something like that.
01:37:37.400
Okay, so you've been, now that you're back here, are you, trying to.
01:37:45.900
Um, the next, do you think, okay, the guy, the next guy that you could potentially see
01:37:53.900
as having a relationship with, are you going to want to wait to have sex with him?
01:38:00.140
Just off of the back of having a string of short, uh, like, immediate casual sexual encounters.
01:38:06.420
I mean, there weren't that many, but yeah, yeah.
01:38:23.900
Um, do you, is it conceivable that that guy who you are, that guy who you are potentially
01:38:32.060
eyeballing for a long-term relationship and let's say he wants to have sex, but you're
01:38:38.220
like, no, no, no, I want a long-term, I want, I really like you.
01:38:44.880
If he knows that you, your previous standard was, well, when I'm in Europe, I'll fuck the
01:38:52.880
Do you anticipate that a guy might object to that?
01:39:04.000
Do you realize that you only have boundaries for him though?
01:39:06.200
Also, when you guys say fuck immediately and have sex immediately, that's not always what
01:39:12.340
Like a lot of the time when I say casual, it was like friends, that turned into more.
01:39:16.360
Not relationships, but you know, more than that.
01:39:20.140
Well, but it sounded like, I mean, I asked you, I think if, you know, you had hooked up
01:39:29.520
So then your boyfriend's gonna have that standard in mind when he, when he wants to.
01:39:36.860
Yeah, because the guys in Europe, I wasn't pursuing long-term relationships with, but
01:39:42.620
It almost occurs to me though, if this is somebody that you see for long-term, with long-term
01:39:47.900
potential, wouldn't, wouldn't that be the guy who's more deserving of having like, sleeping
01:39:57.860
Like, wouldn't you, but if you like really like the guy, wouldn't you want to have sex
01:40:06.040
Because to me, it seems like you're almost gamifying.
01:40:11.520
So what, why would you, if you don't have any sort of objections to sleeping with somebody
01:40:16.400
fast, because you don't, um, why would you make a potential boyfriend wait to have sex?
01:40:23.500
Because I would wait, want to make sure that we're in a relationship that's based on much
01:40:27.560
more than just sex or much more than just my body.
01:40:29.820
But why can't you simultaneously, like you're using it as like the carrot on a stick.
01:40:36.360
Why can't you simultaneously build a relationship and have sex at the same time?
01:40:42.580
But you have, you have no like moral objections to sleeping with someone quickly.
01:40:48.920
Like, it's not like you're religious and you're waiting until marriage because that's like
01:40:57.580
Well, I'd like to, but you can add to it in a bit, but I'm trying to get an answer from
01:41:02.100
Well, for me, I mean, sex, like it is, it is very meaningful.
01:41:12.460
But so why the different standard for shouldn't, if it is, if that is the case, why engage in
01:41:24.040
I want to experience that I haven't done it before.
01:41:29.820
Like, you know, but it's for me, like a long-term relationship that's serious.
01:41:35.680
And I just, I want to really get to know the person.
01:41:37.880
I want to make sure that we're compatible intellectually, compatible, emotionally compatible, you know,
01:41:45.660
But having, but all those things you listed, if you were to have sex with them on the same
01:41:51.880
timeline that you've had sex with, these casual encounters, that wouldn't preclude you from
01:41:56.600
any of those other things that you want to explore with a partner.
01:42:02.580
So, how would you feel if, so, if, would you prefer someone to buy you a really nice gift,
01:42:08.000
an expensive gift, or take you for a weekend away?
01:42:12.460
How would you feel if you were dating a guy, and all you wanted was for him to take you
01:42:16.260
for a nice weekend away, but he made you wait three months, and then you found out
01:42:20.160
that five other girls, he took them for a nice weekend away straight away.
01:42:24.380
I mean, I would just ask him, why did you take, like, what is it about me that made
01:42:30.600
If this is what you were doing with all the other girls, I'd be like, oh, maybe I'm not
01:42:35.280
Well, it's kind of a special thing to take someone away for a weekend.
01:42:38.440
So, would you feel that maybe he doesn't have the same sort of burning desire to spend
01:42:43.240
I mean, I'd have to communicate with him about it.
01:42:47.060
But do you think, like, logically, that would mean that he doesn't have the desire to want
01:42:53.660
Because for us, it's like, a woman's body is very sacred.
01:42:57.180
So, if I want to be in a relationship with a girl, and she says to me, you're going to
01:43:00.980
wait, if you're Logan Paul, though, and you find out that she's slept with a bunch of
01:43:06.240
different guys straight away, then you're going to feel like she just doesn't really have
01:43:14.260
So, Logan Paul's wife, they went on podcast together, and she was saying how, oh, I made
01:43:19.080
him wait, I made him wait, and he was saying, yeah, like, that's how I knew she
01:43:22.620
was the one, and then he was fighting a guy, and then the guy, Dylan Dennis, came out with
01:43:28.020
all these photos of all these guys that she'd been with, and it turns out she hadn't exactly
01:43:38.720
But these are different people, like, in my life, it's someone who I have a deeper connection
01:43:42.820
with, and I want to, you know, I want to have that deep connection with, versus, you
01:43:50.760
So, you're thinking it very much from your perspective, though.
01:43:54.240
It's kind of, I'm not really hearing much empathy with how the guy might feel.
01:43:57.800
Because whether they admit it or not, like, us guys have big egos, right?
01:44:01.320
So, when we have our girl, if we find out that she's giving it away to guys really easily
01:44:05.980
beforehand with us, and then she made us wait, it makes us look like a mug.
01:44:11.060
And then other people, when they see that, like, if I saw my mate, and he was with a girl,
01:44:14.960
and he's like, yeah, man, I think she's the one, she's making me wait.
01:44:17.820
And then Brian was like, no, I hit it first night.
01:44:22.080
That would, I would think that, like, my friend was, like, a bit of a mug, getting made to wait
01:44:28.160
Guys have that politics, and maybe you're not aware of it, but...
01:44:32.540
You have to think about the ego of the man that you're...
01:44:36.360
Well, and here's, I mean, to add to what Jake is saying, it's kind of like the way we
01:44:40.160
might view it is, you know, women often, for example, might complain about fuckboys, right?
01:44:44.480
So, you reward the fuckboys, who will never give you commitment, with immediate sex, and
01:44:50.120
you're going to punish the guys worthy of a relationship, and you, by making them wait weeks,
01:44:56.500
And look, ultimately, it's certainly your prerogative.
01:44:59.780
If you want to have 100 previous sexual partners, you slept with them, 100 previous sexual partners,
01:45:08.020
you slept with them on the first date, and then the next guy, it's, we're waiting until
01:45:15.400
We're coming at it from the guy's perspective of, hey, 100% you're right, if you, that was
01:45:21.760
your previous standard, all the other guys you slept with immediately, now you want to
01:45:28.220
But we're going to view that in a certain type of way of, like, you're not the girl for...
01:45:33.080
A lot of the guys are going to feel a certain type of way about that.
01:45:37.660
And it does seem to me to be, I don't know if it's a bit of a double standard to some
01:45:44.560
Like, not in the typical sense of a double standard, but you have one standard for this
01:45:48.600
cohort of men, and a different standard for another cohort of men.
01:45:54.640
Can I make a comment on something you guys said?
01:45:56.880
So, when you guys were talking about, like, you know she's the one because she waited
01:46:01.040
to sleep with you, maybe that's why, like, a lot of women, I think also, if I'm trying
01:46:05.460
to pursue a guy in a relationship, I want, like, a lot of guys' perspectives are, oh, she's
01:46:12.900
If I'm trying to pursue this guy, I want to be the one, you know?
01:46:15.440
So, I'll be like, oh, it will show a good, like, it's a good foot forward if I don't
01:46:20.300
sleep with him on the first date, because that means when I'm interested in him, I want
01:46:26.500
I'd say you've got a good point in terms of the fact that you want to present yourself
01:46:32.960
However, you have to be very wary of your past coming back to bite you in that regard.
01:46:38.440
In terms of, if he's a proud guy, and he finds out that actually, in fact, you didn't
01:46:42.660
make other people wait, then that's going to be an issue.
01:46:45.600
But, if you're somebody who has a track record of making people wait, or if you're somebody
01:46:50.640
who's saving themselves to a marriage, for example, then a guy's going to really respect
01:46:56.480
I think that it sets up a completely different dynamic, what you choose to do.
01:47:00.500
So, if you're sleeping with a guy on the first date, and you know you don't want anything
01:47:07.940
I think there's an understanding when you're going into a date or pursuing someone in a
01:47:13.840
Sure, one more person might be eager, but there's an understanding that you're getting to know
01:47:17.820
In the past, if I've slept with someone earlier after getting to know them, that never results
01:47:24.980
That leads into a situationship where friends with benefits.
01:47:27.660
And I think that waiting structures a successful relationship.
01:47:35.660
And, you know, you do want to set a precedent, but you can't really have your cake and eat
01:47:39.560
Because if that's not your standard all the time, then it can't be your standard for
01:47:42.660
And my personal standards, and like a lot of the guys who I know, would be the exact
01:47:48.620
So, are you saying that if you ever did a one night stand in your life, that you no longer
01:47:53.540
should, you shouldn't have, you're not up to standards to have a relationship if the
01:48:02.520
If you once in your life had a one night stand, and then you meet someone that you want to
01:48:06.840
pursue a relationship with, and she wants to wait.
01:48:11.300
So, if her standard was that she always makes people wait, and if she didn't respect the
01:48:18.040
fact that I had had one night stands, then that would be fair enough if she didn't want
01:48:42.600
I think a lot of guys would say, oh yeah, men and women are different.
01:48:45.420
And men and women are different in that regard when it comes to promiscuity and sleeping
01:48:49.520
But I would say that if I met a woman, and she was like a woman of high moral principle,
01:48:54.240
and she said, I've waited so much, and I've resisted so much temptation, and you've done
01:49:01.320
I would understand, because my past has come back to bite me.
01:49:05.600
But do you feel you yourself feel like these one night stands made you ineligible for a
01:49:17.900
I do think the guys are different to girls in that regard.
01:49:20.240
But I would say that definitely, if you look at a person who's a really devout Christian
01:49:26.320
or Muslim the whole life, and they wait till marriage, then they're going to be of a different,
01:49:31.660
they're going to think about sex and relationships and everything very differently.
01:49:35.000
But the world that we live in, we're surrounded by so much temptation and so much freedom and
01:49:38.820
liberty and Yas Queen and everything that it's very hard to sort of fend off that temptation
01:49:50.000
And I mean, as far as, and I think there's certainly a scope to it, too.
01:49:56.480
I mean, you said if a girl had one one-night stand, and then moving on from there, her new
01:50:01.660
standard became, well, I'm going to wait for all my future partners.
01:50:05.740
I think that's a little different than a girl who's perhaps had multiple casual engagements.
01:50:10.040
Say she has had 10, 20, 30, of the 10, 20, 30 guys she's had sex with, that she all did
01:50:17.180
Then, oh, this is the guy I want to be in a relationship with.
01:50:20.680
I want to wait three months, 90-day rule or something like that.
01:50:24.580
It's, it doesn't come across as like an actual authentic standard.
01:50:29.380
It just seems like you've just totally, and it's your prerogative to shift.
01:50:33.960
But, we're not saying women shouldn't be allowed to do that, and of course, you should, if you
01:50:49.260
We also have a right to discernment and judgment, just as you do.
01:50:53.460
And we're allowed to have preferences, standards, and boundaries.
01:50:59.400
Oh, I can keep going, and then if you want to think about it.
01:51:05.180
So, I have a couple examples here that I could give you that might be able to like paint it
01:51:15.660
Telling your date that, so all the exes got five-star meals, but she gets McDonald's because
01:51:22.760
you've turned over a new leaf and decided that money has better uses than just trying
01:51:28.700
So, you're on a date with a guy, you know, you know that he took all his previous ex-girlfriends
01:51:35.160
that he dated, all the other girls he's seen on these really elaborate, really nice
01:51:39.480
dinners, and he doesn't have any financial issues or anything.
01:51:43.300
He took them on fantastic dinners, spent $100, $200, but he takes you to McDonald's.
01:51:52.040
What if that man was fine with taking all these women out to nice dinners because he didn't
01:51:58.840
And then he finds a girl he likes and he wants to make sure she's not a gold digger.
01:52:09.080
So, you'd be cool with that, is what you're saying?
01:52:12.880
If that's his reasoning, if later on he does take me out to a nice dinner, we have this
01:52:19.900
First of all, you know that this man chops out.
01:52:22.820
He goes for the filet mignon and he tells her to wear a nice red dress and they go out and
01:52:31.540
And he says, I'm going to make sure you're not a gold digger.
01:52:37.360
If this man knows that you've had these white night stands, you've slept around, and he
01:52:42.720
doesn't want to pursue you, that's completely okay.
01:52:44.980
But like, no, no, no, like, stick to the question for a second.
01:52:52.860
And then him saying to you, I'm not taking you because I want to make sure you're not
01:52:57.880
Did he make sure that everyone else is not a gold digger?
01:53:05.400
But don't you think there'd be a double standard though?
01:53:07.960
If he said to you, look, first date we're going to Macca's, just want to make sure
01:53:12.840
But then you're thinking to yourself, but you took everyone else to the filet mignon.
01:53:17.040
I think it would be a double standard if he didn't plan to see me again, the same way
01:53:23.420
This is just objective, looking at it straight up.
01:53:28.620
But you can't make that comparison when this whole conversation has been that weird, that
01:53:32.420
what differs between a relationship and one night stands is because when some of these
01:53:38.160
girls might sleep with them right away, they're not envisioning a relationship.
01:53:41.060
They don't want to see them pass this one hookup, two hookups.
01:53:45.380
But like, don't you think that there's something that you're giving away that's special there?
01:53:52.580
When we're saying, he's done this special act for four other girls, and then you come
01:53:57.440
around, and then you're not getting that special act just yet.
01:54:06.840
Sure, I think everyone thinks that sex is special, but I also feel like letting someone
01:54:13.580
So if I'm waiting a few weeks with someone that I want to date, they're getting to know
01:54:21.180
me more than any of these other people are getting to know me, which I think in its way
01:54:25.840
And some people don't care about sex, you know, other people's do it's, it's very much
01:54:33.680
Do you think for the most part, though, that guys are going to care about that?
01:54:36.840
Yeah, guys are going to care about who you've slept with, especially if they know the people.
01:54:47.000
I don't want to date someone with a huge body count, tons of one night stands.
01:54:52.160
You have a right to judge, you have a right to leave, but in the conversation of how we're
01:54:57.100
feeling, we're just explaining that when we want a relationship with someone and we
01:55:04.220
I get how you guys feel about it, though, but do you empathize with how the guy feels
01:55:09.860
And I'm saying they have a right to not be interested, they have a right to leave.
01:55:15.620
If you're dating somebody, say for the first few months or whatever it is, what are the most
01:55:21.260
What's the most important thing for you that just says, is this guy worth dating or is
01:55:31.660
So, if he was not honest and loyal with you at the start, but you know that he was honest
01:55:37.060
and loyal with five other girls, would that upset you?
01:55:45.520
One of the things that's most important for me is that she hasn't slept with a lot of people.
01:55:49.660
If that's what's most important to you, then absolutely.
01:55:53.180
I'm not denying what you're saying or that you can get upset.
01:55:57.780
But then, so I guess at the end of the day, we kind of do agree in a way because we're
01:56:02.580
both allowed to have our standards, but the problem is that I kind of, I get where you
01:56:08.380
Sometimes I don't really think that you girls really get where we're coming from, though.
01:56:13.760
And you tend to think about it from your own prism.
01:56:17.120
Okay, so I think what we're talking about is, on both sides, to even it, is that we're
01:56:25.040
And that we can't, we don't know what happened in someone's past unless we choose to have
01:56:33.200
If we're judging them from their past right off, that's going to be your win or loss.
01:56:37.120
And that's for you to decide if you want to have that conversation or not.
01:56:39.940
People experience life and all parts of life growing up in different ways and possibly have
01:56:53.460
So it goes all from finding out those things, you know?
01:56:56.060
If you don't know if that person grew up in a way that that was normalized or whatever,
01:57:03.620
and they were promiscuous when they were younger.
01:57:05.340
But now they're realizing, oh, that we are more sacred, that I don't want to be giving
01:57:12.300
The best relationships are being able to see that that person changed and being that it's
01:57:20.800
It's saying, okay, I can see you're at maybe a little bit more immature state of your time
01:57:28.200
So you're saying that everybody grows up differently.
01:57:33.680
And sometimes, you know, you were promiscuous in the past, but now you've changed your ways
01:57:51.680
There's a lot of common words that we could delete from our language.
01:57:56.640
It just makes us judge each other, put ourselves against, like, compare ourselves to each other.
01:58:04.520
And then it makes us give ourselves standards that we're not really doing.
01:58:11.500
It's saying, like, you're putting yourself at failure.
01:58:16.940
If you have a child, should you feed the child?
01:58:19.560
That, I mean, it is best looked upon to feed the child.
01:58:44.820
But did you object to what he said and the way that he phrased it?
01:58:50.460
Because need seems much more powerful than should.
01:58:54.200
So with should, any time that you use should, you can mostly replace it with would or could.
01:58:58.960
And would is the actual that you're willing to do it or that you possibly could do it.
01:59:17.600
You can use that in sort of more religious talk.
01:59:20.520
So this came to me, though, when I had a boyfriend, right, that he was not getting his license.
01:59:27.140
He had his license removed and then he could get it back.
01:59:29.840
And I was just like, he should get his license.
01:59:32.720
And then someone asked me, who's to say what one should or shouldn't do?
01:59:38.220
If I pushed him and said, you should get your license.
01:59:41.000
He gets his license and gets into a car accident.
01:59:42.760
And who's to say that he was supposed to get his license at that time?
01:59:48.640
I feel like you read this on a tarot card somewhere.
01:59:54.360
I actually have a whole curriculum for child care based off of this.
02:00:01.860
Do you teach kids that they shouldn't say the word should?
02:00:07.760
Don't, but like, I think, I feel like when you say that people shouldn't say the word should,
02:00:11.680
you're saying that there are no sort of objective, there are no objective standards.
02:00:15.520
So people should do whatever they want to do all the time.
02:00:22.680
Because you're telling people that we shouldn't say that people should do anything?
02:00:31.660
So, ultimately, why you don't like the word should is because you don't believe that there should be objective standards.
02:00:41.420
Because if I say that someone should feed their children, I think, I could also say that someone ought to feed their children,
02:00:46.900
because it's like, that makes sense to make it an ought claim.
02:00:49.820
But if I say somebody should feed their children, I'm saying that there's an objective standard.
02:00:54.580
I'm just saying that there's an objective standard that we all have to abide by, that people should feed their children.
02:01:00.360
Should is a judgment that's automatically making it that they will feed their children, they can feed their children.
02:01:16.660
I just feel like that you're saying that because you don't believe that there is anything objective.
02:01:21.140
Because then how can you eliminate the word should if you think that there are objectives?
02:01:24.480
Because then most times that you use the word should, from now forward, in your future from here, try it.
02:01:30.340
When you're about to say should, try to replace it with would or could.
02:01:34.700
And that will give you more integrity to your life.
02:01:36.820
It won't make you be like, oh, I'm going to half-ass this, or I'm going to, oh, I should do that.
02:01:42.040
No, but I think that, I think this, you can, it just depends on your worldview.
02:01:47.820
Because in my worldview, I have things that I, I'd love to talk to you about this more on some other time.
02:01:52.180
I use should a lot as a positive, encouraging thing.
02:01:56.720
Like, oh, you should do this to, like, inspire somebody.
02:01:59.640
Like, but then that makes them feel like they have, they're like, oh, I have to do this.
02:02:03.720
Because it puts so much pressure and comparison on each other.
02:02:10.700
Well, let's, I do want to come back to kind of the, the thing that we were talking about.
02:02:14.740
Can I put my, okay, when, can I get back to that?
02:02:16.980
No, I was trying to talk about the other thing.
02:02:25.560
When men, what, when men put into the relationship, all these things that they're doing that we said that we wanted,
02:02:31.500
really, let's clear the elephant in the room that if men put in, women put out.
02:02:37.680
And yes, I totally understand what you're saying.
02:02:39.800
And that if you, if you see the woman and she's like, oh, you slept with all them.
02:02:55.820
So you're saying that, you said that if men put in, women put out.
02:03:00.980
So if men put the effort in, then women put out.
02:03:08.340
I'm amazed at the mental gymnastics these women perform to justify female promiscuity.
02:03:16.500
I wonder what does basically India think about American loose women?
02:03:21.460
I wonder what does basically India think about American loose women?
02:03:27.700
What do you think about base, about American loose women?
02:03:33.760
So he said that what he said, not what I'm saying, is that these women at the table do mental gymnastics to justify female promiscuity.
02:03:41.420
What do you think about American loose women is what he said.
02:03:50.940
It's nothing like that about standards or something.
02:04:10.900
I do find India like very like open and like...
02:04:32.280
The scary thing is community college Annie interacts with children in a teaching role.
02:04:40.560
Men are hunters if you want them to want you be prey.
02:05:01.280
We'll wait until she's back before I go around the table on the question I had.
02:05:04.000
I do think that I think there are some men that think if a woman makes him wait for sex, it's a green flag.
02:05:12.420
But actually, I think in 2023, I think it's just she's just not that into you or banging somebody else, to be honest.
02:05:20.480
That's, I mean, that's what my thought process.
02:05:22.700
I have a couple of other analogies here I'd like to go over.
02:05:46.440
Imagine every woman, the man she's going for, has dated in the past, got tons of effort.
02:05:58.080
Excellent communication on everything she needs to know about.
02:06:01.200
And now that she gets with him, new guy, right?
02:06:05.060
He decides to be very tight with his money and effort.
02:06:07.700
No trips further than to Target in their local city.
02:06:10.600
Gifts are like maybe a $50 gift card to Sephora.
02:06:19.960
Then, when she asks what's up with him doing so much less for her, he says,
02:06:24.400
it's because I knew they were just momentary fun, but I think you might be the perfect partner,
02:06:30.060
so you have to earn all the effort I normally just give out freely to the other women I've dated.
02:06:38.760
I think I would want to have fun with him if he had the means to not necessarily feel like I'm earning it from someone who should unconditionally love me.
02:06:49.020
So you're saying that you wouldn't be with that guy?
02:06:54.280
Maybe he's amazing inside and out, but I'd want to be on the same page with his thought process with saving money.
02:07:00.880
I think I would just tell myself he was just trying to save money, not that I would have to necessarily earn it.
02:07:05.680
So you wouldn't be with him because he's trying to save money?
02:07:12.120
So you would be okay, just to like make it clear, you'd be okay with the fact that this guy has made all of this effort for girls who are just nothing to him.
02:07:23.120
But when it comes to you, like you're fine with just no effort.
02:07:28.380
I don't know a single female that I've ever met that would actually be okay with that.
02:07:33.140
I'd probably just break up with him and I'm not going to feel like, I don't know, I have enough pressures on myself like to be good.
02:07:41.460
I don't need somebody to be like, oh, I'm not going to buy you this.
02:07:45.060
Sputler donated $200 to the woman with the rag on her head.
02:07:48.760
You are the biggest PSA for why genital herpes is so dangerous.
02:07:54.780
And your lady parts must be rancid at this point.
02:08:12.600
So he always talks about herpes and various ailments that impact, you know, these sorts of things.
02:08:19.820
I have some more analogies here when it comes to, well, you used to have a bunch of casual sex, but now you found a guy you like.
02:08:30.060
Um, this would be the same as if a guy were to say, or this was how a guy was moving.
02:08:35.440
He used to take his dates to three star Michelin restaurants, but he doesn't do that anymore.
02:08:40.380
So you can take the bus and meet him at McDonald's.
02:08:45.340
Or you go to McDonald's, you go to McDonald's, right?
02:08:49.700
Um, the cashier, the cashier in front of you is like, um, shit, what is it?
02:08:56.240
The cashier, there's three people in front of you.
02:08:58.520
They all get a cheeseburger for two, three dollars, whatever.
02:09:01.300
You finally get to the cashier and they say, that'll be a thousand for you because I like you the most.
02:09:06.800
Those other customers were just a mistake or I was just having fun.
02:09:24.260
I get a thousand dollar burger when everybody else got the regular price.
02:09:36.980
You, you, the three people in front of you, they get a burger for two bucks.
02:09:43.640
The cashier's like, that'll be a thousand dollars for you.
02:09:56.180
And you just see those people just hoeing down on their burger like a, like a pig at the trough.
02:10:00.260
And you're just, you're just there, not knowing what to do.
02:10:21.880
I think with all the analogies that you're making, it's pretty clear that you should feel upset.
02:10:26.780
But I think when we're talking about sex, I think it's more personal.
02:10:29.500
Like, I think at the end of the day, it's just how you feel.
02:10:31.440
If you want to, if you want to have sex with someone, you're going to have sex with them.
02:10:36.920
The analogies you're making, clearly you are 100% in the right on that.
02:10:40.600
But when it comes to sex, you have sex when you want to have sex.
02:10:43.420
Whether it's the first date, whether it's the third date, whether it's the eighth date.
02:10:45.780
Do you think that's a good way to float through life?
02:10:48.160
Is that you have sex whenever you want to have sex?
02:10:50.260
I think for right now, for the age personally that I'm at, I think that's great.
02:10:53.960
But I think when I want to settle down and have a relationship.
02:10:55.700
But even for the age that you're at now, don't you think that comes to the price?
02:11:02.460
Imagine being such a red flag a guy pretends he has a penny left on his debit card to get out of his date with you.
02:11:09.980
Or is two hours late and brings a friend, just make sure you never call him again.
02:11:28.700
But again, when it comes to this, like, I, me personally.
02:11:32.460
If a girl had sex with a hundred men on the first date, and then she wanted to wait until marriage for the number 101, that's her call.
02:11:48.300
However, for me personally, and what I would actually recommend to other men, that is a completely unacceptable standard for you to, that, that, let me reframe that.
02:12:06.060
That scenario makes sense, but that's not going to be the scenario in most cases.
02:12:09.160
I think if we get down to the nucleus of the point, though, what we're saying is that we have these sorts of standards.
02:12:13.980
And you guys are basically saying, okay, you can have your standards, we don't care.
02:12:18.560
Does it make you rethink it, though, if you actually did like a guy, and if there was sort of that tension, would that make you rethink the mindset that you're in now, which is, I'm young, I'm just going to have sex with whoever I want to?
02:12:31.960
It makes you rethink it, as in, like, maybe I should be a little bit more sort of frugal in my younger years?
02:12:37.160
I think if I meet the right guy, I'm going to be, I'm going to settle down with him.
02:12:41.220
Like, I don't want to be having sex with anyone else.
02:12:46.080
The question was more, like, in your, because you're, like, you're college students now, and these days with the college students, I mean, it's just free love everywhere and, you know.
02:12:55.340
And I'm somebody who's not a choir boy by any means.
02:12:58.020
Like, you know, I've done all the promiscuous stuff.
02:13:00.420
And I would say that there, even for me as a guy, there's an element of regret when you look back at your younger years and the more promiscuous days.
02:13:06.920
Do you guys ever have that sort of thought process at the moment?
02:13:10.520
When you are that younger age that you're, like, at the peak of your sexual value at the moment?
02:13:14.620
And I can speak on that from an older age, for sure.
02:13:17.040
I mean, like, I got into my first relation, or my serious relationship when I was 18, and I lost my virginity at 19.
02:13:24.760
So I, you know, waited to have sex, I would say, maybe over the average age.
02:13:29.720
I don't know what the average age people lose their virginities to.
02:13:31.880
And that's something that I wanted to do for myself, you know.
02:13:37.000
But I don't, also, would never shame anyone else or judge anyone else if they lost their virginity younger or if they engaged in sexual acts younger as well.
02:13:46.800
It depends what you value and what makes you feel good.
02:13:49.560
Would you recommend it, what you did, waiting until you're 18?
02:13:54.760
And for me, it worked really, I mean, for me, I don't know, I can't tell anyone else what to do.
02:14:01.100
I'm not saying that you're telling people else, like, other people what to do.
02:14:04.240
But I'm saying that as a society, like, we have some sort of standards.
02:14:07.580
And, you know, as a person, I've just told you that in my past, I've had, you know, quite a promiscuous past at times.
02:14:15.920
And even as a guy, sometimes it comes back to me and it bites me because you meet a really moral, principled woman.
02:14:21.340
And then she probably, maybe she wouldn't be so interested in me.
02:14:24.160
So, if I could take back time, I'd probably be a little bit more frugal with it if I was your age.
02:14:35.800
Men want a woman that, like, on the first date, if they do put out on the first date, in your mind, wouldn't you block them off to being eligible?
02:14:46.160
Like you were saying earlier, because I think that, that might be wrong, but I think a lot of women have that in our brains, is that they're not going to see us.
02:14:55.880
Like, so even if we were promiscuous before, if this is the person we do want to be with, then we're going to be like, oh, they're going to want me to be this way.
02:15:08.320
There's so much misunderstanding and miscommunication between men and women.
02:15:12.900
So, what you're basically saying is that you're kind of in a rock and a hard place.
02:15:16.320
Yeah, I want to fuck you on the first date, but I'm pretty sure you would respect me more if I waited, so I'm going to wait.
02:15:21.220
And then they're like, well, why didn't you do it if you did it for them?
02:15:24.440
And then they're like, oh, so you would have been a whore?
02:15:29.760
But at the end of the day, it comes back to the old adage that you can't have your cake and eat it.
02:15:35.300
But you can have your past and your future, too.
02:15:47.240
If that guy, if you would otherwise, how do I want to frame this?
02:15:52.860
Let's say you end up waiting with a guy, right?
02:15:55.520
You end up, you force a wait for four days, right?
02:16:00.420
It's not clear to me, had you hooked up with him immediately, that you would have not ended up in a relationship anyways.
02:16:09.000
So I think whether you hook up with him on the first date or the third date, quite honestly, I don't think it's going to have really a major impact on whether he, because if he's interested in having sex with you,
02:16:24.380
perhaps he wants there to be continuity, and it could lead into a relationship, or it doesn't.
02:16:32.480
And I just had to remember something from before, is that when we were going around about how long you should wait, that I never got to it.
02:16:41.240
Was that, honestly, for me in situations, that there is that period of waiting to make sure that it's not just about sex,
02:16:48.060
it's not just about my body, that they actually do like you, but to be truthful and honest and radically transparent, for me anyway, I do believe that you, or not believe, but the whole waiting to marriage thing,
02:17:01.220
I think I don't understand that at all, because I do think that you, what if you don't like having sex with that person?
02:17:07.400
You just spent this whole time getting to know them, and in a relationship, and you might have love in that way,
02:17:12.780
but if you're trying to have an intimate relationship, and then you all of a sudden love each other, and try to have sex,
02:17:18.100
and then it's like, oh, I don't like having sex with you, or like, we don't connect that way, you know, that is something to get off of that.
02:17:26.100
I mean, in terms of like the pantheism and the astrology.
02:17:29.840
I mean, again, I mean, I feel, I'm, let's see, maybe 23, it started.
02:17:42.940
Have you ever, and I'm not even taking a piss, but have you ever tried to go to church?
02:17:47.600
Have you ever tried to lean into a, like, Christianity, or anything?
02:17:53.140
Yeah, I actually did not wear my rosary today, because I didn't know if I wanted to have any religious contacts on here,
02:18:10.320
I mean, I was, I was baptized, I was brought up Christian.
02:18:14.880
Is there something, because I feel like you're, like, yearning and longing for some sort of spirituality,
02:18:19.380
and I think people tend to put that into these sort of more ideas of astrology and pantheism, as I said,
02:18:24.580
but do you feel like maybe that yearning could be better placed in a church and a community?
02:18:34.680
Well, I mean, if you believe in astrology, you don't believe in the Christian God,
02:18:40.280
I can be an astrologer and believe in God at the same time.
02:18:42.540
Here, I do want to try to bring it back, because we have a lot to get through.
02:18:46.360
So, we were going around the table on two things.
02:18:49.640
I'll wrap up on the whole waiting for sex thing.
02:18:52.740
We were going around the table, one, on how long do you think you should wait for sex.
02:18:57.240
I don't think everybody got an opportunity to answer that.
02:19:07.200
Did everyone get an opportunity to answer, how long do you think you should wait for sex?
02:19:11.860
I wanted to wait until marriage, but that didn't happen.
02:19:19.780
Is that your current boyfriend, or like, past boyfriend?
02:19:26.580
How long did you guys, I think we left off with you, maybe, how long do you think you
02:19:35.280
Are you down first night, second night, second date, third date?
02:19:41.180
Probably being official, if it's a relationship, being official.
02:19:44.340
Unless you're traveling, and you're trying to cultivate experiences.
02:19:57.520
How about, how about the last guy that you were intimate with, how long did you wait with
02:20:15.700
I feel like for me, it would depend on if the chemistry was there, and the vibe of the night.
02:20:19.460
Like, if I want to have sex that night, and we're talking, and then we want to have sex,
02:20:23.760
But if not, it's not there, I want to keep going on more dates before, it just depends
02:20:29.460
I think that the, sorry, just before we continue, I think that the duality of what you guys
02:20:33.820
are talking about is the problem in terms of what we're seeing.
02:20:37.000
Whereas you were kind of talking before about like turning over a new leaf.
02:20:40.160
If you turned over a new leaf, and you thought like that, you know, this is the sort of person
02:20:44.000
I am now, and you hadn't, the past hadn't been too crazy, it wouldn't be too much of a
02:20:47.880
But if you have the two thoughts simultaneously, where I could have sex on the first night,
02:20:52.200
or I could make you wait, that's where the problem is.
02:20:56.360
And I'm not saying that I'd even want to be in either basket, but I think that that's
02:21:02.340
But if you are at a different phase of your life, and you know, if you've, if you're plugged
02:21:06.660
into a church, or something like that, and if you're actually taking it seriously, then
02:21:12.160
For your analogy, I don't think I fit in with any of those two baskets.
02:21:16.280
Like, I don't identify myself as I'm going to wait for this long, or I'm going to sleep
02:21:19.820
I just go when I want to do, yeah, I don't like, I don't put, like, I don't fit into
02:21:28.840
But for me personally, I just don't identify to either of them.
02:21:31.580
How long do you think you should wait before having sex?
02:21:35.200
If I'm in, like, pursuing a relationship, like, around four dates or so.
02:21:42.060
Me, personally, probably, like, a month or two.
02:21:44.520
I want to make sure that I get to know them, that there's an emotional connection, and that
02:21:54.760
I would say I will wait a little bit, like, for months, because I can't get connected
02:21:59.620
with a person, like, emotionally in, like, one or two days or, like, in three days.
02:22:07.220
Unless I don't feel, like, emotionally connected with that person.
02:22:11.720
So you would wait longer if you don't feel emotional connection?
02:22:15.340
Unless I don't feel like, yeah, I will wait if I don't feel like it.
02:22:17.740
Have you ever had, like, a friends with benefits?
02:22:29.060
So the other question is, have you ever made a guy wait, but also, have you also had
02:23:03.320
Maybe the shortest was probably maybe, like, a week or so, just because I knew, like, we
02:23:10.160
were already, like, dating, and then he became my boyfriend.
02:23:13.020
And then, before that, like, maybe, like, a month, just because of distance.
02:23:24.080
Does the situation differ for your minds if, like, we're, like, cooking up, we're kissing,
02:23:31.740
we're doing, like, things, but we're not actually having sex?
02:23:39.700
Because you can maybe feel the burning desire there, and maybe it's, like, that you want
02:23:46.340
But if you don't feel sexually attracted, as a guy, it's pretty easy to tell if a girl's
02:23:49.520
not overly sexually attracted to you, and if she's making you wait because she thinks
02:23:52.880
you're a good relationship prospect in other ways.
02:23:55.260
But if you can tell that she's really attracted, can't keep her hands off you, is kissing
02:23:58.200
you, whatever, and then you draw out the tension, that's a little bit different.
02:24:01.960
But if you can tell that she's not attracted to you, it's pretty, you know, you can tell.
02:24:08.020
So the question is, does it, would it make, like, would I be more accepting of the situation
02:24:14.140
if, like, she's, would I be more accepting of the situation if I knew she slept with 10
02:24:20.780
other guys immediately, but then she wants a relationship with me, but she's willing to
02:24:26.600
No, like, more like she went out, and, like, she met a guy at a party, you know, they were,
02:24:33.140
like, I guess hooking up isn't the right word, but, like, doing everything.
02:24:36.440
And then she was, like, okay, actually, like, I'm not going to have sex with you.
02:24:50.080
I thought you meant if you were on a date with a person and then they'd done that in
02:24:59.840
Like, let's say a girl, you're getting into a relationship with a girl and she gets, she
02:25:03.740
says, hey, by the way, you know, this is my body count or whatever, but, like, these men
02:25:10.380
in the past, like, I would go out, you know, I'd go to parties, like, you know, we'd do
02:25:14.160
some stuff, I'd sleep over, but I, like, when the act of sex came, like, I'd be like, no.
02:25:19.100
Okay, so she's saying that this is my body count and these are all the guys who nearly
02:25:24.040
That's probably a bigger red flag than the stuff before.
02:25:29.640
Well, because when you're going to parties and you're sort of, like, doing everything, you
02:25:35.780
That, to me, that sort of draws out a periphery that will make my, that will make me ask a lot
02:25:43.100
So, it's like, would you say it's, like, a bigger, like, you would judge a girl more if
02:25:48.520
she's going out partying, like, having sex, having, like, full sex, like, one-night stands
02:25:53.780
versus, like, she's going out, she's with a friend, she meets a guy, whatever, it's, like,
02:25:58.080
chill, they're about to have a one-night stand, and then she's, like, actually, no, like, sex
02:26:02.660
Like, I'm not going to fully have sex with you.
02:26:09.520
It's kind of, kind of the same thing, to be fair, because he probably sucked his dick
02:26:17.820
They say, oh, I'm not going to have sex, but, you know.
02:26:24.880
Continuing around the table, what's the shortest amount of time you've made somebody wait?
02:26:28.340
What's the longest amount of time you've made somebody wait?
02:26:33.180
So, I'd say within the night was probably the shortest, and then the longest was probably
02:26:40.460
I've also had a one-night stand, and I think that the longest was around six months.
02:26:46.700
I haven't had a one-night stand, so I don't have, like, a lowest, but three months, because
02:26:55.880
And the shortest, I would say one month with my ex.
02:26:59.380
And the longest, you know, it'll sound funny to you, but, like, yeah, my longest relationship,
02:27:37.520
Oh, we need to come, we need to come back to you.
02:27:41.120
What's the shortest amount of time you've waited, and what's the longest amount of time you've waited?
02:27:56.860
And, I mean, I've had hookups on the first night, so.
02:28:02.520
You maybe arranged, like, three weeks, four weeks?
02:28:07.640
No, I've never, like, planned out, like, oh, we're going to wait this amount of time.
02:28:12.680
So, I've had friends that I'm, like, really close with, like, that we're, like, really close friends, and, like, we're never, like, oh, we're going to be like that, we're going to sleep with each other.
02:28:24.220
And, like, eventually it happens, because, you know.
02:28:27.720
Well, what about, I mean, the friends thing is a bit complicated, because there's, like, a pre-existing acquaintance or relationship there.
02:28:38.760
So, I mean, if I can narrow it down for you to make the question easier to answer, what about if people, like, immediately the context of the relationship was romantic?
02:28:53.680
Like, in relationships, I think the longest I've waited is my most recent one, with that two weeks, because that's.
02:29:08.140
Have you ever been, had, like, a friends with benefits, or there's, like, a casual thing?
02:29:15.260
Because some people, like, if you're not in an official, committed, it's been overtly communicated relationship.
02:29:23.680
Or there's room for you to be dating more than one person, potentially sleeping with more than one person.
02:29:29.460
Or at least maybe there's one guy you're hooking up with.
02:29:35.960
But you're dating other people at the same time.
02:29:38.240
You might just be sleeping with that one guy, but you're dating other guys.
02:29:41.320
So, my question is, have you ever been sleeping with a guy, and then also, like, going out on dates with other people, or sleeping with a guy or a girl, while also pursuing other potential partners?
02:29:57.380
But there's one solid person you're hooking up with, sleeping with, whatever.
02:30:11.220
He was a foreign exchange student, so that's why we never, like, made it official.
02:30:47.860
Like, obviously, the other Norwegian was seeing another girl.
02:30:53.160
So, you were sleeping with Sven, and then Franz was just...
02:31:05.380
No, I mean, I was friends with guys, but not sleeping around.
02:31:09.040
So, at the same time, you were sleeping with two Norwegian guys?
02:31:14.440
Yeah, I think they were a little bit separated.
02:31:16.760
Like, it was one for a while, and then maybe one time it overlapped.
02:31:26.860
Like, going out on dates, but, you know, maybe they didn't go all the way.
02:31:30.200
No, but I was talking to my ex-boyfriend who we were trying to work it out.
02:31:37.820
So, we were trying to, like, fix it, mend our relationship.
02:31:43.400
But at the same time, I was with these Norwegian guys.
02:31:45.920
So, you were with your ex-boyfriend, or, like, technically with him and getting the double
02:32:01.340
You were sleeping with two guys, and then also talking to your ex-boyfriend.
02:32:22.220
I mean, yes, I'm into open relationships, polyamory, so, yeah.
02:32:32.200
Since you're into open relationships, polyamory, at any given time, not currently, because it
02:32:38.020
sounded like you're just seeing one guy right now, allegedly, what is the most amount of
02:32:49.360
So, you're sleeping with three guys at the same time?
02:32:53.620
Well, not, like, an orgy or anything like that, but, like, three, one was Monday, one
02:33:02.420
While you've been doing this, polyamory, is it?
02:33:10.900
While you've been doing the non-monogamy, has there been one particular guy who you've
02:33:19.140
So, in the realm of open relationships, and not just open relationships so that you can
02:33:26.520
sleep with everybody, is my view on love and relationships is that loving one person is
02:33:33.120
very limited, and I have relationships with lots of people, so I do consider myself, like
02:33:38.400
I said, this person that's across these, like, I definitely consider them, like, my lover,
02:33:42.120
they have a really special place in my heart, but I also have other very close friends.
02:33:47.860
I know that, but I'm saying, is there one that you have, who comes to mind when I think
02:33:52.760
about someone who you have special feelings for?
02:34:01.020
In the past, they're like, I mean, I have special feelings for all of them, and it's
02:34:08.280
But if you had to say, is there one who's particularly special?
02:34:19.240
Because you can't expect one person to be everything for you.
02:34:22.740
But don't you think that a part of the idea of having a relationship and one day having
02:34:29.280
That one person is enough, and you sort of, you battle through any differences that you
02:34:37.460
I do not have the old traditional relationship beliefs, no.
02:34:42.900
Do you want to, you said you wanted to have children before.
02:34:50.020
I would like to have an offspring to, like, care for.
02:34:52.460
I am, like, I work in childcare, so I'd love to have something to care of my own.
02:34:55.920
So would it be, like, you freeze the baby, that type thing, or what are we talking?
02:35:02.160
Well, if you really, really want to know something weird, I've always, like, fantasized that
02:35:06.080
I want, which, obviously, I can't, because, you know.
02:35:13.080
Like, I would have thought for a long time I would have just, like, wanted to, like,
02:35:16.480
not have sex for a long time and then just somehow become pregnant.
02:35:21.860
Interesting, so that's your dream is immaculate conception.
02:35:27.620
Do you think a guy like God would, like, really be sort of into a girl who's not a virgin?
02:35:42.060
Might probably won't happen, but something like that.
02:35:46.100
I guess the point I was saying, it was, like, if you do want to have children, though, don't
02:35:49.560
And God doesn't pick the shiny penny, by the way.
02:35:52.900
Don't you worry, though, that if you're going to have children, in, like, them seeing that
02:35:59.460
Or is it something that you'd want to, like, tamper down once you do have children?
02:36:08.880
If we get out of right now for a second and we think about the future and the implications
02:36:12.800
of what we're doing right now in the future, when you think about having children and when
02:36:17.340
you think about the idea of carrying someone's child and then you guys having that child together,
02:36:22.540
being in the labour room, you're ride or die with each other, do you think you'd want
02:36:25.840
to bring someone else into the relationship after that?
02:36:34.260
Isn't that something that you sort of maybe try and forecast?
02:36:36.020
I don't think about so many things that my brain goes, so I'll keep thinking about it.
02:36:40.080
Here, let's continue with the question at hand.
02:36:42.360
So, I believe we left off, was it, what's the longest?
02:36:50.280
Have you ever dated, have you ever been hooking up with a guy, casual with a guy, while also
02:37:19.760
I guess, like I said before, we live in a world, and especially in the Western world,
02:37:26.080
When you're a young guy, you're thinking about sleeping with as many girls as you possibly
02:37:29.780
And when you're a young lady, you're thinking, I'm empowered, I'm having sex with a lot of
02:37:32.560
these guys, and everyone around me is telling me that it's great.
02:37:54.620
When you sleep with a lot of people over a space of time.
02:38:00.740
Well, I don't think a ho phase necessarily means that you're sleeping around with a ton
02:38:06.260
I think just being a little bit less careless than you would be in a relationship.
02:38:12.860
It was just, I think my ho phase, I was really young.
02:38:19.140
I was seeing a lot of, like, older guys and, like, going on dates and just doing really
02:38:26.860
Kind of things that you, like, you wouldn't really want to sort of necessarily share the
02:38:32.800
Well, my current partner knows absolutely everything.
02:38:37.160
They are things that, like, I'm happy that I got through because I think the majority of
02:38:42.080
people need to learn those things in their lives.
02:38:43.620
I think there are levels to ho phase, but I would say that generally when we speak about
02:38:47.940
a ho phase, we speak about a few years, like a space of time, where you're sleeping with
02:38:53.300
And it's the kind of thing where you're, like, sleeping with guys that kind of no one knows
02:38:56.920
You're on dating apps and you're just, you know.
02:39:06.240
Um, I feel like it was a little bit dishonest and that kind of made it a ho phase for me.
02:39:23.700
But, okay, so, I mean, was it, when you say ho phase, was it just those two dudes?
02:39:30.640
No, but there was more to the ho phase than just the two's.
02:39:32.800
Well, yeah, I mean, I was the new girl and I was a junior in high school and, I mean,
02:39:46.740
So, one was with me at my school and the other one was at the rival school.
02:39:50.300
Did you, did they know that what was happening?
02:39:53.160
Did they know that there was that competition happening?
02:39:54.660
I found out because the one at my school was like, I was in love with him and then I met
02:40:01.920
the other one through him and the other one, I don't remember what happened, but something
02:40:10.860
I think we got into an argument and so that's when I was hanging out with the other one more,
02:40:17.020
Wait, you would, the multiple people you were sleeping with, you would hang out in a group?
02:40:27.800
They were the two Norwegians in our entire city and the same age and same district and stuff.
02:40:48.060
Wait, remind me, you had a four-year relationship, correct?
02:40:51.760
That was the beginning or the end of middle school.
02:41:01.460
Yeah, high school relationship and I met these guys.
02:41:08.300
In between that relationship with my long-distance boyfriend.
02:41:11.080
So, I moved from Texas to Missouri and I had dated the other guy for two years and then
02:41:16.580
when I went to this new school, I was meeting all these new people but the other guy was
02:41:21.060
Like, I found out he was like sleeping with some of my friends and going off and so I
02:41:26.280
just kind of retaliated in private with two Norwegians who I cannot regret.
02:41:45.360
So, I guess in college, once I got to college, I had a boyfriend again for four years and
02:41:59.800
What's the what was the extent of the ho phase?
02:42:08.260
Did I ask what's the most amount of people that you were sleeping with at one time?
02:42:13.220
So, I dated dated for like a few months during when I met those two Norwegians.
02:42:35.460
Like, I definitely like stayed put with like a few for a while.
02:42:46.740
Um, that's, yeah, I'm just guessing and that's like the max for sure.
02:42:52.260
So, I had my ex in Texas and then the two Norwegians and then I dated a guy for like a couple weeks.
02:43:05.120
And then, so at the same time though, you said three?
02:43:11.280
Three times I slept with somebody in high school.
02:43:41.960
Those other guys, they get the weekdays, but Bart, he got the Friday.
02:43:52.880
But you said the two Norwegians were at the same time.
02:43:58.600
So, like I stuck with the Norwegian at my school.
02:44:00.780
And then it was the other guy like once or twice.
02:44:11.260
I wish one time a girl or an entire table will just admit that their entire life and dynamic
02:44:19.860
Can't even compromise on who's deserving of dignity.
02:44:30.340
Their entire life and dynamic is far superior to ours.
02:44:36.840
How are women's entire lives and dynamics far superior to ours?
02:44:42.220
Because we need a little bit of clarification there.
02:44:47.280
Do you mean like just women have dating on easy mode?
02:44:53.100
By the way, just a point of I have lowered, and I think I've changed this everywhere.
02:45:06.820
So if you guys want to get any TTSs or whatnot in, feel free.
02:45:26.600
And if you want, if you sent this in a while ago, if you do it through Streamlabs, we have a TTS feature.
02:45:37.840
We do have the thing we need to react to, Nick.
02:45:42.140
So a woman posted on Reddit this, and it got quite a bit of attention.
02:45:51.340
Thank you very much for the Gifted 20 memberships.
02:46:04.120
Kayla, I want you to read this for us because you have a good speaking diction.
02:46:07.740
Read the title and then just read what it says.
02:46:10.340
I'm unsure if I should tell my boyfriend this information.
02:46:13.040
I've recently gone official with a man I've been dating for a couple of months.
02:46:32.860
I wanted to build slowly with this man so he didn't become intimate until after going exclusive.
02:46:38.220
But between the first date and that point, I did see an old Friends with Benefits a couple of times.
02:46:43.460
Back then, I didn't think anything of it as I wasn't exclusive.
02:46:47.220
But I underestimated how much I would care for my boyfriend, and I feel almost like I've cheated on him.
02:47:00.220
There was mixed reactions here, but my gut told me I should tell my boyfriend.
02:47:05.340
I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who does that.
02:47:12.560
So she was, can you pull it up back for just a second here?
02:47:15.700
So she went official with a guy she'd been dating for a couple months, kind, respectful, considerate.
02:47:25.120
But while she was building slowly with this man, and she didn't want to be intimate until after going exclusive,
02:47:32.500
during that entire period, she was also having sex with a Friends with Benefits.
02:47:37.800
Now, mind you, technically, they were not official.
02:47:40.640
However, during that initial period, while she was making him wait, she was having sex with another guy.
02:47:49.020
He ultimately ended up breaking up with her, as you guys read.
02:47:54.840
Do you think fair game for the guy to have taken issue with that?
02:47:58.420
And even though she was technically, you know, they technically weren't official.
02:48:08.060
I think in the dating stages, like, especially if you're just starting to get to know a person.
02:48:17.380
You guys don't know if you're going to pursue a long-term relationship yet.
02:48:22.140
Like, who's to say that you can't go and also date other people?
02:48:26.600
Isn't that about figuring out what you want and what type of person you want?
02:48:32.980
Well, I mean, so my personal standard on this is if I go on the first date with a girl and I'm interested in pursuing her, all the other guys have to be a rap.
02:48:47.380
If you want to go on a second date with me, you're not going on dates with other dudes.
02:48:51.680
You're certainly not sleeping with other dudes.
02:48:53.600
And quite frankly, if I'm going on a first date with you, and I mean, I'd hope a woman would be forthcoming with this.
02:48:59.860
If I know that you're fucking another dude and you're going on a date with me, I'm not interested in you.
02:49:06.220
So my standard is if you want to go on a second date with me, the other dude, preferably there's no other dudes to begin with, but the other dudes have to be a rap.
02:49:16.500
I was going to say, that should definitely be a second date conversation.
02:49:19.580
If there were to be a second date or even like after the first date, be like, I like you so much.
02:49:25.540
And just make sure you're both on the same page because what if someone's polyamorous or what if someone's just, you know, wanting to have the experience of dates and you need to know.
02:49:36.860
Yeah, I don't necessarily think that labels or like a conversation of exclusivity like should change the way that you act.
02:49:47.600
So like personally, if I like someone and we're going on dates or we're talking, if I like them, I'm not going to be with other people.
02:49:55.280
And I expect the same from them regardless of a conversation.
02:49:59.320
If we're exclusive or if we're boyfriend and girlfriend, I don't think that label changes anything.
02:50:03.980
If you wanted to sleep with someone else up until that exact moment that you decide that you're not okay with it.
02:50:10.580
I don't think that that is a reflection of how ready you are to be in that relationship.
02:50:15.780
But do you guys think it sounded like, yes, you said he was justified for breaking up with her.
02:50:29.100
Yeah, I think it's fair because they, can you hear me now?
02:50:34.340
So it's a fair because I believe they are dating kind of, they didn't make it official, but they are dating.
02:50:42.160
And also she did the right thing by telling the truth.
02:50:48.240
And if you didn't like it, obviously no one going to like it.
02:50:51.880
And also eventually just imagine if you're going to know later after like dating for a year or after getting married,
02:50:58.360
they know like something happened in the, I think it's better.
02:51:04.340
So she was making him wait to have sex all the while she had a different standard and she was having sex with a friends with benefits who I assume there,
02:51:23.220
No, but I'm not, I'm not countering your point, but this gets back to kind of our initial debate here over this whole,
02:51:29.200
well, you have one standard for these guys while you're traveling, for example, where I'll have sex with him immediately.
02:51:36.420
And then, oh, the guy that you want for a relationship, I'm going to wait to have sex with him.
02:51:46.660
But it's like, you just feel like you're the beta male in that situation.
02:51:49.680
I think it's either Rich Cooper or Rolo Tomasi has a saying that's alpha, seed, beta, need,
02:51:56.080
which means the alpha gives the seed and the beta gives the need.
02:52:00.480
By the way, I'm not a huge fan of like the alpha, beta terminology, but no, I know what you're...
02:52:06.780
I don't really use it too often myself, but it's like you get what I mean by it.
02:52:10.060
So it kind of makes you that sort of like beta male in the situation where you're getting strung along
02:52:15.180
and you're getting let along and you're not getting that sort of burning sexual desire
02:52:19.240
when there's some other guy who after you guys go on a date is rearranging her guts
02:52:28.780
And then like for a guy to think that I'm taking all these nice dates, I'm making all this effort
02:52:32.760
and some guy is there just absolutely pounding it.
02:52:36.380
I feel like my thoughts on the situation is I never want to be made like a fool.
02:52:40.060
You know, and I feel like if I was put in that situation, I would feel like a fool.
02:52:43.640
Like I don't want like if I'm taking you out on this nice date, if I was the guy, let's say,
02:52:47.440
take you on this night, investing my time in you, investing my energy, I'm only committing to you
02:52:51.280
and you're going around sleeping with somebody else.
02:52:54.080
Like even and you're not sleeping with me, even though I'm putting in the effort.
02:52:57.320
Now you're just making me look like an idiot because what is this person doing that I'm not doing?
02:53:01.020
Like what's wrong with me now? Am I not good enough?
02:53:04.900
I feel like this person is completely valid because, you know, they're not exclusive.
02:53:10.060
But then I start to like look inward and then I'm be like, whoa, like am I wrong?
02:53:16.300
And then that's when I start getting in my own head about that.
02:53:19.800
Yeah, when it comes back to the whole, you know, waiting, making some guys wait for sex,
02:53:26.600
having sex quickly with other men, it's ultimately it's just kind of a fraud.
02:53:32.060
I mean, the whole point of a woman having a waiting period before she has sex is supposed to be due to her not being someone that gives away sex so easily.
02:53:42.580
So having a man wait implies I'm not easy to get into bed.
02:53:48.220
So it's like you wanting to build something slowly is kind of pointless if you're willing to give it out sex to another man who did not give her commitment.
02:54:05.140
And it ruins that idea for that guy forever probably.
02:54:08.240
Like the next time someone wants to wait and make it special to him, he's going to be like, no, that's a red flag.
02:54:12.700
He probably saw the signs because you have to see the signs in those situations.
02:54:17.660
So you think you could have told like off the bat that this girl was probably sleeping around with somebody if she told you she wanted to wait with you?
02:54:22.440
Not even sleeping around, but like you can kind of tell if they're sort of in the streets, you know.
02:54:27.620
You can kind of tell if they're dating and if they're sort of putting out little thirst traps.
02:54:32.100
You can tell by like the way that they react to your date.
02:54:35.480
Like I said before, if they're simping on you, if they're really wanting your attention.
02:54:38.760
You can tell what they're doing on their Saturday night.
02:54:40.540
If they're really busy all the time, then it probably is a bit of a red flag.
02:54:44.300
But if they're reading a book and having a bath and doing some origami on a Saturday night while all the girls are out, then that says something.
02:54:51.480
So there's lots of little different telltale signs.
02:54:53.560
And I reckon he probably would have ignored a few signs.
02:54:59.600
And the reason I brought that up, while it's a little different than the situation with you,
02:55:03.480
and I think some of you kind of sided with her on this, of like she was sleeping with a guy while they were dating.
02:55:11.040
It's sort of, it's very similar to this whole, you know, you said when you were in Europe, you know, you were having your fun, whatever.
02:55:18.480
But if you were to pursue a guy for a long-term relationship, you would make him wait.
02:55:23.320
The guy you view as long-term potential, you'd make him wait.
02:55:25.480
But you don't actually have any qualms with sleeping with someone quickly.
02:55:35.320
Like, oh, those other guys who you didn't really care about, it was just fun.
02:55:40.920
But the guy who you do view as long-term potential, okay, we're going to wait a month, two months.
02:55:46.660
Well, can I say that maybe those experiences also changed my view of like casual hookups as well?
02:55:51.740
Like it was fun and stuff, but it's also something that like I realized that sex to me is meaningful.
02:56:24.280
The mentee want that will love, care, and cherish.
02:56:39.800
Um, so my response is, I mean, if that's going to be like your genuine new standard from
02:56:47.320
now on, then, I mean, I suppose that's commendable, but my, is that really going to be like from
02:56:55.600
here on out, I'm just, okay, all the guys that I'm going to be with, I'm going to wait
02:57:00.800
I mean, is that really going to be the standard or is it like when a super hot guy comes around
02:57:04.940
and all he wants is casual and I want casual, like, are you still going to do it?
02:57:10.780
Yes, possibly, to be radically transparent and I maybe want to speak for myself, but
02:57:18.200
I mean, you're open about that, but was there something else that you wanted to come in on?
02:57:21.640
In general, though, I mean, that you're saying, like, that from going from, like, oh, from
02:57:30.140
your whole phase or whatever and being like, oh, no, I'm sacred temple.
02:57:32.820
Now, like, only starting, like, you're only conceived with me if, like, we're together
02:57:36.620
for a long time and, you know, like, that might not be your forever.
02:57:41.180
To be honest with people, no, we may dip in and out.
02:57:51.520
The truth is that, yes, you might dip in and out.
02:57:56.520
Depending on where you are in your emotional trauma healing.
02:58:12.760
And then she fucks a guy within a week of you breaking up.
02:58:18.420
So the standard was completely arbitrary, totally arbitrary.
02:58:22.160
It has nothing to do with some sort of moral standard.
02:58:25.340
She was just dangling the carrot in front of you.
02:58:27.480
She either just didn't have that burning desire, as Jake says,
02:58:33.840
She's gamifying or she's using sex as a means to secure a relationship with you.
02:58:48.320
It's dialectical therapy where two things can be both true at the same time.
02:58:59.080
If you know that a girl had a different standard previously, she's not worthy of your commitment.
02:59:04.580
Go find a girl who's worthy of your commitment.
02:59:08.400
I think that really comes down to personal insecurities and that you've got to work with it yourself.
02:59:15.700
That's how you feel like, oh, so I'm not worthy of her love.
02:59:23.100
Love, like that's, it's so situational that, yeah, and that's fine.
02:59:31.020
But they're not necessarily wrong for deciding that they want to sleep with someone.
02:59:40.360
But you are completely valid to make your boundaries.
02:59:42.500
It's totally her choice to sleep with 20 guys before me immediately and then make me wait until marriage.
02:59:49.600
It's also my choice to look at that and say, that's bogus.
03:00:05.060
Go find a girl who, that's always been her standard.
03:00:11.440
I was going to say, how many people are you going to find that that's the standard, that that's true?
03:00:15.920
Because especially in the day and age, like, we are not raised with those kind of morals.
03:00:21.060
We have sex pushed down our throats so much that when I was younger, I didn't understand all that, you know?
03:00:25.480
And then it happens, and then you're like, oh, shit.
03:00:41.440
Who am I to say what one should or shouldn't do?
03:00:43.960
I'm pretty, I tend to be pretty selective with the women I like to date.
03:00:46.980
So, one of the things that I might select for is a lack of past promiscuity.
03:00:54.640
So, if she's to some degree a traditional woman, then under those circumstances, I'm prepared to pay for the first date.
03:01:01.000
But my advice to dudes, like, if you're not getting traditional treatment from a girl, first off, you shouldn't date her to begin with.
03:01:08.200
So, there shouldn't even be a conversation of, well, should you pay?
03:01:14.160
Look, if you want to be a nontraditional woman, you should expect nontraditional treatment from a man.
03:01:20.540
You're going to have to take initiative when it comes to various things.
03:01:23.400
Would you, what else, I'm trying to think of other sort of things where it would be more 50-50.
03:01:43.280
But do you want a guy to pay for the first date?
03:01:53.920
So, yes, I would like to be spoiled in that way.
03:01:57.280
But I also will do that, too, if that's their love language and they like that.
03:02:04.140
I mean, it also comes down to those things of what you can give that I may not have as much money as he has.
03:02:10.060
So maybe I can't buy him dinner, but I can make him dinner.
03:02:22.920
You shouldn't say should also, by the way, Jake.
03:02:45.760
Drop us a follow and a prime sub if you have them.
03:02:50.660
Kayla, do you see all those names next to the blue?
03:02:53.680
I want you to thank each of those names next to the blue for us.
03:03:48.200
All right, so I wanted to come back to something you said.
03:04:08.080
You come in with four girl and I'm a not accept.
03:04:13.920
Do you mean, I think he means five foot, five foot girl versus six girl, no lying, you come
03:04:23.660
First, Monsta Kama, good to see you in the chat, man.
03:04:30.140
Is your question, would I prefer to date a five foot girl versus a six foot girl versus
03:04:40.140
You know, I like short women, so the five foot, I'll take the four foot.
03:04:47.020
I want to ask, does the height matter for boys?
03:04:57.200
Okay, I'll date a girl who's like, she could be a fucking Amazon woman.
03:05:07.120
But also I'll date like a girl who's like four or five.
03:05:09.980
You're like that guy in Game of Thrones, that one who loves, you know that one, that warrior
03:05:22.240
He's like, we will make giant children, or I forgot exactly what he said.
03:05:44.420
Whenever I say a four and one of them, I love it.
03:05:45.220
Honestly, I think you're kind of too tall for me, to be honest.
03:05:48.780
Yeah, I always have kind of like this thing in my head.
03:05:51.680
I like, I felt it like, personally, like, I think height is a thing that boys see.
03:06:06.240
They want to be able to pick you up and throw you into the pool.
03:06:11.900
So, wait, you think guys don't like short women?
03:06:18.060
Oh, I actually think it's like a, like men, there's, I mean, I think, honestly, I think
03:06:26.520
They'll date, I think men will date women their height, maybe even a little taller.
03:06:30.560
I think typically it tends to be women would not date a guy who's shorter than them, or
03:06:39.560
Typically, you know, you're here six feet, or at least taller than them.
03:06:43.040
Um, but I don't think I've really heard of guys saying they don't like short women.
03:07:08.900
Um, here, wait, actually, I want to do, we're, we have to do this all at the same time.
03:07:17.300
We're not going to do this with paper on the count of three with your, like this.
03:07:23.940
When I say three, I want you to lift your hand up and I want you to show what you think.
03:07:32.000
What is, what do you guys, should I, should we do what they think average?
03:07:39.640
I know the average if you guys want to know what it is.
03:08:06.180
Shout out, shout out to length for girth for it.
03:08:57.880
I don't care if you start having muscle spasms in your hands.
03:10:47.160
Show us the size, and I can see how accurate you guys are.
03:10:50.540
Oh, you want me to, you want us to do what we think the average is?
03:11:00.180
No, we were saying what they like the average was.
03:11:04.320
No, I think they're doing what we, what I would.
03:11:16.680
Well, we were talking about beauty is subjective, then the TTS came through.
03:11:20.380
Let me just double check here, some of our chats.
03:11:31.680
I'm five, six something, and I round to five, seven when I say my height.
03:11:52.740
I think taller guys are definitely more attractive, but like bare minimum is my height.
03:12:12.340
Because you can put height on dating apps, and sometimes you might use that as a metric.
03:12:28.720
I guess I'm very attracted to someone that was like slightly taller than I was.
03:12:34.580
And I consider them short, but usually shorter guys have smaller dicks, so...
03:12:46.380
I don't know if you ever heard the term tripod.
03:12:54.040
Neeraj underscore NJ underscore Sharma donated $100.
03:12:58.680
Will a girl date a guy with 5'5 height if height doesn't matter?
03:13:05.800
Neeraj, if you won't be trying to get married as soon as possible, I would have for sure, okay?
03:13:19.020
Wait, he's the guy you liked and what happened?
03:13:28.060
He wanted to get married and you really liked him?
03:13:44.180
I said, like, I want to date him, but he was, like, he want to just date a girl who is willing
03:13:50.500
to get married because he thinks he's 30, he's well settled, he want to get married.
03:13:58.540
Uh, Neeraj, wait, would you, when did this breakup happen?
03:14:05.720
It's not a breakup, and it's not, like, something, like, a fight or something.
03:14:09.400
He just confessed, I confessed it, and I already know that he's looking for a girl to get married.
03:14:17.500
I think right now in the phase of, like, building myself, and I don't want to put myself, he
03:14:25.520
I'm okay, like, waiting, and, you know, just being in a relationship, give some time to
03:14:39.520
And he wanted me to propose to you on his behalf, so.
03:15:02.160
I already told him, like, if he's going to wait, I'm ready, but not right away, if you,
03:15:08.420
Yeah, like, don't worry, you're getting gauged, here, just put this shit on, put that shit
03:15:12.380
on, put that shit on, just put it on, wait, hold on, he drove you here?
03:15:19.740
Here, just, just stick out your left hand really quick, I got you, Neeraj, I got you,
03:15:24.640
stick out your left hand, no, just put it over here, here, Madison, slide that shit
03:15:28.100
on, Madison, slide that shit on, yeah, just put it, just do it all slide.
03:15:45.580
She's now engaged, can we get some W's in the chat for Neeraj and V?
03:16:05.560
What if he's like, this is some Romeo and Juliet shit, and you're like.
03:16:15.060
Juliet is the east, and the sun is, I don't know, fucking, okay.
03:16:44.840
Hey, first off, thank you for the compliment, man.
03:16:47.260
I used to listen to love line all the time when I was younger, and it actually would be
03:16:56.580
With destiny getting divorced, opinion on poly success?
03:17:03.160
I don't think that there's, I don't think it's a good approach to, you know, relationships.
03:17:10.280
No offense, Katie, over there, but don't think it works out ever.
03:17:16.240
And it especially doesn't work out if it's like a girl with like five dudes.
03:17:24.080
I'm not saying it's better if it's like a dude with five chicks.
03:17:28.500
I think a lot of people that go into it don't go into it with the correct intentions either.
03:17:38.160
Well, I think it's just not really, end of the day, it's not conducive to having a family,
03:17:44.000
which is not conducive to continuing our population and civilization, which is conducive to
03:17:57.600
In China, I heard that they're letting women have babies again.
03:18:06.120
Well, you were talking about populating the world.
03:18:09.480
Well, they had a catastrophic one-child policy in China.
03:18:19.380
What did that, I didn't get what it had to do with it.
03:18:20.860
Just with populating, I was going off that you were talking about populating.
03:18:25.740
So, would you agree that it's very, like, anti-natal?
03:18:41.020
It's about learning about yourself and love and different things.
03:18:49.860
Do you think that poly people will be a victim of Darwinism?
03:19:07.220
No, I think the COVID vaccine is going to be the end of evolution.
03:19:17.600
Only 40% of men that have ever existed have reproduced.
03:19:27.740
I think poly people are just rot for a downing.
03:19:52.640
Let me get through some of my pre-show notes here.
03:20:08.140
Oh, I had something for Kayla here, but she's getting up to...
03:20:25.500
Maybe we could describe what we were looking for or who our dream guy is, and then hopefully
03:20:35.300
That's actually literally verbatim what you said.
03:20:49.420
I was actually, like, thinking, like, why don't you just throw, like, one or two random
03:20:56.740
Some alien just got punched in the face at every 50-day.
03:21:08.220
I didn't know if she was, like, on every single one or not, but I knew she, like, worked
03:21:26.820
Do you describe what you're looking for in Dream Guy, I guess?
03:21:33.800
Let's do physical, and then let's do personality.
03:21:42.140
I don't really have, like, a preferred eye color.
03:22:05.540
Yeah, that's pretty much all I can really think of right now.
03:22:08.000
I know there's a long list that I have, though.
03:22:15.060
I'm about to bust it out after I hear it from all of you.
03:22:55.420
You know what it means when they put their tongue out like that?
03:23:16.200
I grew up watching the All Blacks versus the Wallabies.
03:23:21.040
I don't really know the difference between them, though.
03:23:32.920
She's written down a list of what she's looking for.
03:23:37.620
She's written down a list of what she's looking for in a man.
03:23:55.740
Emotional and not afraid to admit their feelings.
03:24:05.520
And is genuinely interested in who I am as a person.
03:24:10.480
Who can teach me things and pushes me to be my best self academically, spiritually, mentally,
03:24:16.780
Doesn't speak badly about people in his life or past.
03:24:25.560
Someone who loves life or wants to really feel like they are living.
03:24:30.540
Someone who is okay with being alone and doing things alone.
03:24:33.340
Someone who can have fun without constantly drinking or smoking.
03:24:36.280
Someone I can confront or communicate with who will listen to my feelings and try to understand them.
03:24:40.420
Someone who is adventurous and loves to try new things.
03:24:51.960
Who doesn't make me feel like I always have to be energetic or happy.
03:24:55.240
Who brings out my feminine energy and can dominate me in ways.
03:24:58.120
Who's open-minded and goes out of their way to listen and learn about all perspectives.
03:25:06.140
Who's comfortable experimenting with and doing body work like Brima or tantric sex.
03:25:17.240
Who puts effort into seeing and talking and complimenting me.
03:25:37.080
Do you have a corresponding list of what you bring?
03:26:12.140
Well, one thing I did hear there, and I know I don't want to linger too long because we
03:26:17.300
You said you don't want a guy who tries to sleep with you on the first date.
03:26:23.780
Does kind of, you know, but you've slept with a guy when you were in Europe just on your
03:26:32.140
I'm saying I don't want to be in a long-term relationship with the guy who tries to sleep
03:26:36.040
with me on our first date, on my first date with him.
03:26:40.880
But you don't have qualms with sleeping with somebody on the first date immediately.
03:26:46.320
I don't have problems if he has slept with people on the first date.
03:26:49.920
No, but you don't have an issue sleeping with guys immediately.
03:26:57.660
If I'm not, if I'm in Europe and on my little travel things, blah, blah, blah, and I'm not
03:27:03.780
What if he's like the perfect guy, but he wants to sleep with you on the first date?
03:27:10.580
Honestly, yeah, I don't think he could be the perfect guy.
03:27:13.260
If he wants to sleep with you on the first date?
03:27:30.220
Like, you said you want a guy who can dominate you and do tantric sex and shit.
03:27:46.460
Because I think that takes time to develop with someone.
03:27:48.980
And I have to be emotionally comfortable with that.
03:27:54.380
You can't just start tying someone up on the first date.
03:28:56.020
All I know about tantric sex, Kama Sutra, is from American Pie 2.
03:29:29.360
You can have an orgasm without touching yourself and lots of things.
03:29:40.360
It's like crazy positions and shit though, bruv.
03:29:45.840
You can do tantric yoga and stuff and that's not...
03:29:55.060
I feel like we're gonna do something to spell it.
03:30:02.840
Don't you want someone who's open with experimenting different things?
03:30:14.040
You know, even if you're inexperienced, if you're enthusiastic, you can go very far.
03:30:26.140
I've got a list, but I'll let everybody else go first.
03:30:45.980
Please keep your up on all platforms, but also Rumble when?
03:30:52.020
Honestly, I think I would go to Twitter before Rumble.
03:30:56.140
Although Rumble's a little better live streaming, probably.
03:31:01.400
It would be actually interesting to get a Twitter deal.
03:31:05.900
I could see myself moving the show to Twitter, but...
03:31:16.140
Even though Rumble has a better live streaming platform, discovery on Twitter is fucking insane.
03:31:27.340
We're going around the table asking, what do you want in a partner?
03:31:59.340
I don't know how to answer that question right now.
03:32:02.940
You asked it in one way of what am I looking for.
03:32:34.760
Would you prefer a man who has not committed an act of genocide?
03:32:49.620
That bro will reach out to Elon and tell you what he says.
03:33:04.520
Because Katie over here starts talking about jabs.
03:33:51.180
I'm asking if you would date or not date a war criminal.
03:34:03.180
Ladies, would you date a guy in the manosphere slash took the red pill?
03:34:09.200
That's so funny because I kept asking what are these red and blue dots for.
03:34:12.500
Do we have to choose the red and blue at the end?
03:34:25.460
It's probably a pill with a picture of Christ on it.
03:34:33.360
Well, I've heard the Christ pill, but I thought white pill is for...
03:34:44.760
Because I think the girls might not know what the manosphere is or whatever.
03:35:00.560
He's currently stuck in Romania, but if I could set you up on a date with Andrew Tate, would
03:35:15.120
You know, what happens when Romania stays in Romania.
03:35:20.540
I can tell you it's a beautiful city, and the compound would probably be quite nice, too.
03:36:00.300
I feel like you could just look up Andrew Tate's views on feminism and just read that,
03:36:06.780
Feminism is the worship of the devil, so you can understand.
03:36:18.480
You believe feminism is the worship of the devil?
03:36:23.340
I mean, you can read a book called Occult Feminism by Rachel Wilson, and it goes into
03:36:28.340
Basically, if you look into the history of feminism, from the start, there's a lot of
03:36:34.200
There's a lot of summonsing demons, and there's a lot of women there who are involved in some
03:36:42.180
Not dissimilar to Katie, but not quite the same.
03:36:59.900
If you actually wanted to learn about it, it'd blow your hair back.
03:37:04.140
I actually saw an interesting quote from, and Nick, I don't know if you can pull this
03:37:13.320
So, there's someone named Kate Millett, her sister, who you should Google, Mallory Millett.
03:37:19.860
So, Kate founded the National Organization for Women, which I believe was founded in the
03:37:28.920
It's the preeminent women's advocacy organization.
03:37:32.260
And I believe if it was either Kate or Mallory, they had some interesting things to say about
03:37:42.220
So, Google Mallory Millett, M-I-L-L-E-T-T, and then American family, and I think you should,
03:37:51.340
that prompt should be able to help you find it.
03:37:56.020
Well, that's what the history of feminism is, trying to destroy Christianity and destroy
03:38:06.420
Well, show me the Google results that you have.
03:38:11.860
I think there's another one, Florence Farr, I think her name is.
03:38:24.600
But, I mean, you're going to have to search for...
03:38:27.400
I don't know what the prompt is that you can search for.
03:38:52.620
Guys, go to twitch.tv slash whatever drops a follow, drops a prime sub.
03:38:56.160
If you have one, we were going around the table on what everybody was looking for.
03:39:04.460
We'll come back to what everybody is looking for.
03:39:10.000
While I'm waiting on Nick to find that, Katie, would you date a...
03:39:26.720
I'm a little surprised you haven't really been definitive here on the war criminal thing.
03:39:47.980
So, a war criminal would be someone, like, who has committed, like, crimes against humanity.
03:39:54.000
If you go to an African country, for example, like Rwanda, that he was talking about before,
03:39:58.040
where there was civil wars happening and where they were machete-ing people to death in the street.
03:40:08.960
Going around really quick while Nick is still finding that.
03:40:48.120
Would you prefer your boyfriend to have a firearm or his fists?
03:41:11.320
Okay, and we know these three men are breaking in.
03:41:23.460
In that scenario, I would say yes, but I think having a gun in the house...
03:41:32.180
Do you think you're going to bring it up and just...
03:41:35.400
So you think that you wouldn't like a man to have a gun unless someone's breaking in?
03:41:40.940
At the situation, if you have a gun, it's going to work.
03:41:44.200
You're going to get panicked and the situation is going to be like that.
03:41:46.880
So you don't think it's better to have a gun in that situation?
03:41:50.960
I said first, but then I realized like it's not going to even work.
03:41:58.440
I feel like it's not going to work in that situation.
03:42:02.560
You don't think it's going to help having a gun in that situation?
03:42:04.620
I think there are just like 50% chances that it's going to help.
03:42:13.960
Like if you'll be able to get to it, you'll be able to use it in an accurate way.
03:42:21.180
Let's assume it's on the bedside table and my man is like Clint Eastwood.
03:42:24.360
It's useful, but yeah, I don't think it's like having a gun in houses.
03:42:30.200
You got to be like this close to the microphone.
03:42:34.100
Do you want to move your chair forward a little bit?
03:42:39.300
Yeah, I would say if it's like saving life at some point, it's okay to have.
03:42:44.600
But I personally, overall, I'm not going to date a person who is having a gun in the house.
03:42:57.140
Yeah, I think anger is something that can bring a lot of things that you had never even imagined about a person.
03:43:05.420
And that can be really a bad thing in the house.
03:43:10.200
Well, so you're saying that your boyfriend would like go on some violent tantrum.
03:43:15.280
Your six foot boyfriend who's dating a 4'11 woman, he doesn't have the capacity to kill you with a knife, like a kitchen knife or his fists.
03:43:24.340
But he could go get the gun and shoot you down.
03:43:31.920
I don't feel like it's a safe thing to have in the house.
03:43:36.820
Like, if I had to pick a way to go versus, like, if I'm fucked, if I have to die by a gun or a knife, I think I'd prefer the gun, to be honest.
03:43:49.520
Like, I mean, I know that's not a, I don't want either, of course, but I think I'd prefer a bullet to the head than, like, multiple fucking stab wounds.
03:43:57.260
So you're asking the men that are breaking into the house, what would you prefer them to have?
03:44:01.540
Would you prefer to be killed with a gun or a knife?
03:44:05.560
Well, no, but she's making it, like, her fear is the fear of violence from your partner.
03:44:11.420
Like, overall, I don't believe that there should be a gun in the house, but if that's a particular situation there, then I believe 50% that gun is going to help if there is a gun in the house.
03:44:21.380
But, yeah, I think that in terms of living in America, though, people have guns here.
03:44:25.780
You do not want to be bringing a butter knife to a gunfight.
03:44:29.700
So when you're here, and if you have a family to protect, you're not going to be sort of, like, conscientiously objecting to have a gun.
03:44:38.580
But, like, it doesn't matter if you're stable, if someone breaks into your front door, then you're...
03:44:42.260
Well, it does matter if you're an alcoholic, if you have anger issues, and you have a gun, that you could...
03:44:46.680
But, like, you're bringing it to an extreme, we're talking in generics here.
03:44:49.620
So just in general, if you live in America, and everyone's got guns around you, you don't want to be a sucker with the one person who doesn't have a gun.
03:44:57.440
Okay, assume it's me by myself in my house, and I have a gun.
03:45:08.220
I think in a real-life situation, I'm going to be...
03:45:12.240
Like, I think 70% person is going to get panicked.
03:45:15.960
Well, you're going to panic, but if you're training...
03:45:28.360
Better to have and not need, than to need and not have.
03:45:31.760
Thousands of crimes are prevented by armed citizens every year.
03:45:36.780
The number one weapon used in homicide is a blunt object, even if a gun is there.
03:45:42.640
And the number one death by guns is someone inflicting it upon themselves, if you guys know what I mean.
03:45:50.740
Wait, we were going around the table, and what everybody wants, we're going to talk about...
03:46:21.760
1969, Kate invited me to join her for a gathering among feminists.
03:46:53.480
And how do we make a culture revolution, she demanded.
03:46:56.340
By destroying the American family, they answered.
03:46:58.980
How do we destroy the American family, she came back.
03:47:01.340
By destroying the American patriarchy, they cried exuberantly.
03:47:06.220
And how do we destroy the American patriarchy, she replied.
03:47:18.960
Their answer left me dumbstruck, breathless, disbelief in my ears.
03:47:25.600
By promoting promiscuity, eroticism, prostitution, and homosexuality, they rounded.
03:47:33.560
So, I mean, that's the sister and one of the founders of the National Organization for Women,
03:47:38.360
the preeminent and leading women's organization in the U.S.
03:47:42.360
I mean, it has its genesis in basically attempting to destroy the American family.
03:47:47.340
Also, if you look back at, like, early feminism is incredibly, is a very rather racist movement.
03:47:54.000
Like, they didn't want, they want white women to vote.
03:47:56.900
They wanted to secure the vote for just white women.
03:47:59.880
And some of the most famous feminists, like Margaret Sanger, for example, is a eugenicist.
03:48:07.580
And she's also, you know, responsible for, one of them, for, like, you know, family planning.
03:48:13.400
All of the abortions that happen now, she's basically responsible for that.
03:48:19.740
And then, this has seeped into our society today, and we don't even realize what we're believing.
03:48:24.520
Before we go further on that conversation, though, I do want to go around the table.
03:48:34.640
I don't think I'm educated enough on the topic.
03:48:36.780
And I just got really overwhelmed with how many loud girls were yelling at me or, like, shouting around about it.
03:48:55.140
To a degree, I believe in gender roles, though.
03:49:00.580
Like, I believe, for certain situations, other people might not need it in their life.
03:49:06.540
But for me, I do believe that, like, with my partner, I expect him to make enough money to take care of me.
03:49:14.140
But I also plan on getting enough money for myself, regardless if I have a partner.
03:49:19.820
But I love the idea of him financially taking care of me, even if I have the financial means to take care of myself.
03:49:26.260
Because I think that that creates an environment where I can be more feminine.
03:49:31.480
I can be more in that feminine role of, like, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids.
03:49:39.960
I believe that guys should open the door for me.
03:49:48.440
I think when you're in a relationship, if they're paying for all the dates, my love language is gift-giving.
03:49:54.680
So if I'm financially able, that might mean I'll buy him his, like, dream car, right?
03:50:02.100
If, like, all the finances work out, I don't expect him to financially support me because I'm not able to financially support myself.
03:50:14.920
But I think it creates this environment that allows me to be in my feminine.
03:50:23.340
Like, a man can also expect the same thing, like, you asking him for the date and you paying first time, and then he can give you a, like, you are investing first, and then he's giving you, like, back the same thing.
03:50:37.620
I wouldn't go on a date, a second date with a guy if he didn't pay the first time.
03:50:42.180
That's a very feminist position of yours, but...
03:50:44.460
Would you say that you're a feminist when it suits you?
03:50:47.020
Not when it suits me, but I believe that women should have the same rights as men.
03:50:50.980
I believe that we should be paid the same amount.
03:50:54.680
I mean, right now, we have the same rights, but the idea of feminism came from a history...
03:51:00.340
But you said you're a feminist, so that must mean that you're sort of, like, leaning towards there being more rights given to women.
03:51:06.820
It's supporting that there's a continuation that women have the same rights as men, and that we get paid the same, and stuff like that.
03:51:16.380
I'm saying that it's a continuation of support.
03:51:18.300
Because the idea of feminism started from the history...
03:51:20.520
So you're saying there's no need for the movement, but you are still an advocate of the movement.
03:51:25.780
Well, for me, personally, there's not an industry that I'm in that I'm, like, fighting for this.
03:51:29.280
But I know that there's a lot of feminists that are in a certain industry where they don't feel like they're treated as equally as men.
03:51:44.420
And if you can prove that you're not being paid equally for the same level of seniority, the same work that's being done, you can bring a lawsuit.
03:51:52.920
Yeah, and we've, like, moved towards that, but we're still seeing situations where there isn't equal pay.
03:51:58.060
And that's what this great conversation of, like, talking about your wages, that's starting to happen now.
03:52:03.260
On the wage thing, really quick, do you think, for example, NBA players, do you think WNBA players should be paid the same as NBA players?
03:52:13.740
So male basketball players, female basketball players?
03:52:18.820
There's more viewers for the NBA, which is a direct translation of, you know, their profit, their funds, the investments.
03:52:26.640
I think that with sports, it's a little difficult because it's based on viewers.
03:52:33.980
Do you think, on the NWA versus WNBA, do you think that they should be paid the same?
03:52:40.340
I think that there should be a gross rate calculated per view, and then we should all just base it off that.
03:52:44.940
Like, a strict standard for every single viewer online.
03:52:48.120
Like, per viewer, you make this amount of money, and I think we should set that for men and women so that it's equal.
03:52:53.680
Or you could just look at the profit and just do it according to that, right?
03:53:03.120
I think feminism is bringing the idea of men and women equal, so I feel like that's setting an equal standard.
03:53:20.660
Wait, before we answer that one, I do want to get everybody's input on that.
03:53:26.300
Are men and women physically the same strength, generally speaking?
03:53:40.180
In terms of, like, muscle mass and what we're able to acquire, no.
03:53:56.820
It could be, and then there's that, like, super mother strength, you know?
03:53:59.420
And then there's, like, the strength in your vagina.
03:54:05.680
You said that men and women are equal in mental acuity and strength, physical and of the mind?
03:54:19.260
On the average, though, your typical woman, she's a 5'5 frame versus a typical man is a,
03:54:29.780
Generally speaking, no, but I'm talking about, like, strength and, like, valor and, like.
03:54:35.460
Maybe I'm comparing it to myself because I consider myself a pretty physically strong
03:54:43.880
Like, what if a guy who is, like, doing exactly the same you were doing, same body, same strength,
03:54:49.000
same everything, and you did the same thing, do you think that competing, like, you would
03:54:56.480
I just kind of feel like guys, like, genetically are just born stronger than a girl being born
03:55:04.260
Um, okay, just, I want to try to wrap up on a couple things here, or, well, because there's
03:55:09.600
been a few conversational threads that haven't been finished.
03:55:20.660
As women have more rights than men, are harder to fire than men, and have lower hiring
03:55:31.780
Okay, uh, yo, Grid One, really appreciate it, man.
03:55:35.680
Um, if he looks up any of the, like, major companies you're looking at, the percentage
03:55:40.380
of women and men, the majority is men, and though we're working towards making it equal,
03:55:45.620
Because if it was easier to, um, hire women, or women were more inclined to be hired, then
03:55:53.140
Well, I mean, one thing that occurs to me, what is the primary motive of a business?
03:56:00.420
So if it was actually true that you could hire women and pay your workforce, let's say
03:56:05.840
a company of 10,000 people, you could pay your workforce and save 20%, 30% on salary,
03:56:14.400
If it was actually true that you could just pay women less?
03:56:17.060
But for these large corporations that are, uh, governed and run by men, um, men even-
03:56:28.960
They're not governed, they're all governed by women.
03:56:33.360
If you're talking about current day, we're also talking about equal pay.
03:56:38.280
Why, when you say equal though, why do you think it needs to be equal?
03:56:42.600
In, in terms of like, um, your professional life?
03:56:47.600
You think that there should be the exact same amount of men and women in the exact same
03:56:51.900
amount of positions getting the exact same pay?
03:56:53.800
I don't think a company should be based, um, like trying to get the numbers 50-50.
03:56:57.900
I think it should be based on, um, you know, your resume, your experience.
03:57:05.540
Because women have, they generally are less qualified.
03:57:09.260
Well, because women have to take time out for maternity leave, right?
03:57:17.560
So, they have to take time out for maternity leave.
03:57:20.220
And there's like, men are willing to work a lot harder as well.
03:57:27.260
Like, if a man works a lot longer hours, then he's going to get paid more.
03:57:35.680
Oh, well, where are you saying that women won't work those hours?
03:57:41.220
And also, they have different interests as well.
03:57:51.160
You're talking about the facts, not the coulds.
03:57:57.220
I typically find that there's more women in my STEM field classes than men, personally.
03:58:02.820
But you look into the workplace, and then they're absolutely dominated by men.
03:58:06.340
Because men are more interested in things, and women are more interested in people.
03:58:13.160
Current day, the majority of my friends are into banking, investing, economics, mathematics.
03:58:22.440
And these are also industries where you have to work really hard until you're 30, 35 to start making money.
03:58:29.600
Women tend to take time out because they go and take maternity leave, and they want to have children.
03:58:33.340
Because they're smart, and they realize what's more important in life.
03:58:35.860
Whereas men will work their asses off 80 hours a week until they're 40 years old.
03:58:43.060
Do you think that there's a lot of women who exit the workforce, or who are at least very disadvantaged by it?
03:58:48.560
Who do you think's more interested in STEM fields, men or women?
03:58:51.980
Science, technology, engineering, and mathematics.
03:58:57.360
That's a stat for you, actually, if you want to see it.
03:59:00.660
Two-thirds of those employed STEM occupations were men.
03:59:09.140
So, I mean, do you think it's like this thing of supposedly men making more money than women,
03:59:15.000
is that due to, you think that's due to sexism?
03:59:25.780
Men typically work higher-paying jobs, more hours, and typically ask for raises more often.
03:59:31.560
I mean, there's, like, various factors that go into this.
03:59:35.600
When you start, if you just compare all the money that men make and all the money that women make,
03:59:41.520
there's a, it's not a wage gap, it's an earnings gap.
03:59:44.460
But if you start narrowing it down to, okay, well, this career field, here's the hours worked.
03:59:51.540
Like, for example, men work, if you look at all men versus all women, men work more hours than women do.
03:59:57.220
Okay, let's talk about a job that isn't hourly.
04:00:00.600
Yeah, but, like, it doesn't matter if they're hourly, because if you're working at a career,
04:00:03.900
and you're a man who's just, say, in a science job, right,
04:00:06.720
and you're working 80 hours a week compared to a woman who's working 60 hours a week,
04:00:12.000
And if you stay at that company for 10 years, and you really get ahead,
04:00:16.860
then you're going to be on a lot better money than a woman who's had to go and leave the job for a while,
04:00:20.740
do maternity leave, come back, leave, come back, and is also interested in different things as well.
04:00:26.460
And historically, through a comparison of people that work the same hours,
04:00:31.140
that have the same position, there was a wage gap.
04:00:34.500
And that's, like, feminism has existed through years, but the argument is, am I a feminist?
04:00:38.260
Yes, because it took feminism to get us to the point where we are now, to get that equal pay.
04:00:43.360
But do you realize how different the job availability was 100 years ago?
04:00:51.760
But that doesn't excuse the fact that women and men got paid differently for doing the same job for the same hours.
04:00:57.460
But here's the thing, like, equal pay, feminism, can really only, when it comes to workforce participation,
04:01:04.440
can really only exist when there are comfortable, air-conditioned office jobs.
04:01:09.800
You didn't hear feminists in the fucking 1800s saying,
04:01:13.560
I want to go into the coal mines and get black lung.
04:01:16.380
Because for the longest period of human history, most jobs were, like, extremely physically laborious.
04:01:28.400
If you look around today, the highest echelons of earners are all men, because, you know, like we said before.
04:01:34.220
But then the lowest as well, all the most difficult jobs, the ice road truckers, like you said, the coal miners.
04:01:39.820
Whenever you go to foreign countries and you see people digging ditches on the side of the road,
04:01:44.340
And I don't see you guys fighting for those positions.
04:01:58.500
Really, before you do that, we were going around the table, I think, asking everyone, are you a feminist?
04:02:07.720
Feminist, like, I say I don't have the e-chlorite same thing.
04:02:28.060
Um, so this is, uh, some, you know, some, okay.
04:02:47.040
I don't know if he's going to go weld something.
04:02:49.900
There's a dude jumping out of the helicopter in the ocean.
04:03:03.280
You know, you know, you know, just sinking in 50 foot waves.
04:03:09.060
Um, so if you had to wager, you know, what the percentages like between men and women who
04:03:17.120
occupy that, the jobs that are, you know, the jobs on that ship, uh, what, like, what would
04:03:31.380
I mean, so we should probably analyze aside from just the money that people make.
04:03:34.740
Let's, we should analyze other sorts of gaps, right?
04:03:38.980
For example, there's, you know, men are more likely to die on the job gap.
04:03:43.340
Men are more likely to be electrocuted to death gap.
04:03:46.380
Men are more likely to be crushed to death gap.
04:03:53.580
So this often happens with like undersea, uh, undersea, uh, uh, underwater divers, um,
04:04:00.640
when there's a pressure differential, if there's enough pressure, um, there's pipes,
04:04:04.960
And if there's a, uh, like there's different ways this can occur, but basically you can
04:04:09.900
get like sucked into a pipe and just basically your body can be, um, imploded in like half
04:04:16.320
I think the gender gap there is pretty significant.
04:04:19.860
Um, more likely to work outside in the heat or cold gap.
04:04:23.000
Um, more likely to work undesirable, disgusting, and dirt, dirty jobs gap.
04:04:35.960
Um, well, I think all this whole conversation of feminism and sexism is based on history.
04:04:41.960
In history, there were those gender roles where the men went to war, the men worked those
04:04:48.380
But the reason that women started going to school, learning to read, started even working
04:04:54.460
as teachers and, and going to law school and all that was because of one feminist.
04:05:04.480
And most women at the time didn't want to vote.
04:05:10.080
But it was a group of feminists that pushed for women.
04:05:16.920
But feminism is allowing, it's, it's moving towards equality.
04:05:25.820
So it's saying that if a woman wanted to get educated, that she was allowed to go get educated,
04:05:33.660
So you're saying that women can't get educated?
04:05:37.040
Well, what's interesting about the education argument is since the 1980s, more women have
04:05:45.220
Is it, is it due to sexism or is there, is there like this misandry against men in society
04:05:51.880
Because I'm at UCSB, I suspect the, the breakdown is it's 60, 40, 60% women, 40% men.
04:05:58.920
Is UCSB, the school you guys go to, is it a deeply sexist institution?
04:06:03.660
Because there are, it's the 20% more women going to that.
04:06:10.620
Well, I don't think equal opportunity necessarily means that everything that we see is 50, 50.
04:06:16.260
There are some schools that accept more men than women.
04:06:20.720
Like across globally and certainly in the U.S., there's at almost any institution, the
04:06:39.700
Do you think that maybe your brain is a little bit poisoned by the fact that like a lot of
04:06:45.260
women just complain a lot about this when actually they've got a pretty good lot in life?
04:06:51.040
I'm explaining that I'm a feminist because I supported all the work that it took to get
04:07:02.980
My argument, you guys were asking why I'm like.
04:07:04.500
But you were literally just saying that you want women to be 50-50 in corporate jobs.
04:07:08.380
Do you think that now that we've told you this, do you think that that's kind of a ridiculous
04:07:12.200
I didn't say that I want women to be 50-50 in corporate jobs.
04:07:15.060
I was talking about how in corporate positions you said that men have these interests.
04:07:25.020
I'm seeing that the majority of the women I know are looking into STEM, are looking into
04:07:28.280
that, that times are changing and that feminism means that we have the opportunity to.
04:07:33.340
But if you look at all of the, if you look at like the literature on this in terms of behavioral
04:07:37.300
psychology, women are biologically more interested in people whilst men are biologically more
04:07:44.720
Women are more nurturing, whereas men are more inclined to be protectors and providers.
04:07:49.360
So we're going to go into those more high paying jobs.
04:07:52.020
And that's why throughout history, that's how it's been.
04:07:54.600
But feminism is about women that want to pursue the same careers as men having those opportunities
04:08:01.860
because we didn't always have those opportunities.
04:08:04.500
Can I ask, like Brian just showed you a bunch of videos of men out on oil rigs and getting
04:08:10.840
Do you think that it's kind of ridiculous that there's a movement of women saying that they
04:08:14.340
want 50-50 and equal treatment in the top air-conditioned corporate offices when men
04:08:18.380
are out here literally dying at work every single day?
04:08:25.620
And women don't want to go near it with a 10-foot pole.
04:08:29.960
But feminism is about allowing those decisions.
04:08:31.840
Feminism is about getting what you want when it's convenient for you.
04:08:36.160
It's about usurping men when it really, at the bottom rungs, they'll never, ever go
04:08:44.160
To bring this back a little bit to dating, and it's related to the wage gap stuff, I
04:08:48.320
want to go around the table, and I think your answer was you prefer a guy to pay on the
04:08:55.400
And you said there wouldn't be a second date if the guy didn't pay for the first date,
04:09:03.940
These softy feminist asses would not last two seconds in these extremely physical, dirty,
04:09:11.040
Get your equal pay asses in a sewer, oil rig, coal mine.
04:09:24.240
Loose pussy energy is like the response to small dick energy, I guess?
04:09:29.140
Anyways, so going around the table, let's say you go on a date with a guy, and he asks
04:09:35.900
you out, and he says, you know, you go get dinner, and the check comes, or he tells the
04:09:45.920
Would you prefer, and would you prefer if he paid for it?
04:09:49.260
If I really liked him, I wouldn't mind who paid.
04:09:58.640
So you wouldn't ditch the date if he only had a penny in his bank account?
04:10:02.000
I said earlier today that, yeah, paying for a first date or flowers for me isn't a huge
04:10:12.580
It would possibly raise something in my head to consider, and I would think about it, but
04:10:26.260
Of the dates you've been on, do you know how many first dates you've been on?
04:10:32.760
Like, where someone has properly asked me on a date.
04:10:42.680
Has the guy, more often than not, has the guy paid for the date?
04:10:49.340
More often than not, Kayla, more often than not, has the guy paid for the date?
04:11:03.200
Do you prefer the guy to pay for the first date?
04:11:08.500
If the situation that you said, if they were, like, and the bill came in, they're like, oh,
04:11:12.000
let's split it, if they were in guy or girl, I mean, this is because, again, bisexuality,
04:11:18.520
that on any date, if someone, even if it's not romantic, honestly, if a friend invites
04:11:23.180
me out to, like, if I get invited out and they're saying, oh, like, then I kind of do
04:11:33.840
Women only want equal rights when it benefits them either draft or physical standards in
04:11:40.320
Well, there's definitely a saying, and it goes, feminist until the check comes, but
04:11:48.940
Prefer, yes, but I wouldn't say no to a second date, no.
04:11:59.800
You do realize, though, just in response to that, most men very rarely, almost never
04:12:10.860
Right, so I mean, but to say whoever should pay, it's basically, your answer is essentially
04:12:18.320
But my answer, I said that, saying that I have asked a guy out on a date.
04:12:22.620
Sure, but we should also acknowledge that while you're perhaps an outlier, it really
04:12:30.720
Theme of the night, if I like him enough, he can do whatever he wants to me.
04:12:38.800
Yo, Nickelodeon, dude, I haven't seen you in a while, man.
04:12:50.000
And you said if he doesn't pay for the first date, there won't be a second date.
04:12:53.860
Yeah, if a guy asks you on a date, I think he should pay.
04:13:03.440
I will split, and I don't, it's not going to change my opinion about, like, I will date
04:13:10.340
So we've heard some women here, some women say, well, what's up?
04:13:15.360
About the equal pay thing, I just want to put in a fun point.
04:13:18.240
I don't know if you saw that comment earlier about the man, some guy posted about equal
04:13:22.240
pay, that they were, like, the reverse, that they want equal pay for only fans, and, which
04:13:28.700
is really interesting at a point that I never really thought about.
04:13:31.700
If we want equal pay, well, then that's equal for them to come up, too, not just women to
04:13:38.860
And I thought about that industry, just wanted to share that out there.
04:13:40.880
Yeah, I think there should be more representation, you know, okay, anyways, well, the point,
04:13:44.500
the point I'm trying to get at here is, some of you said, well, you know, you'd, you'd maybe
04:13:51.520
be okay with it if, you know, the guy split the bill, maybe you wouldn't even mind, but
04:13:55.280
you did hear some of the girls' answers who said they either strongly prefer the guy to
04:14:00.680
Now, let's assume in the general population that 30% of women, there, if the guy doesn't
04:14:11.920
Perhaps, that's still a very large portion of women, right?
04:14:14.880
Now, I think there's a whole lot of factors that impact the supposed, supposed wage gap,
04:14:25.740
A lot of factors, you know, hours worked, the professions that are pursued by various
04:14:30.400
individuals, the willingness to take hazardous and dirty jobs.
04:14:35.600
The more, men, for example, are more like, more willing to relocate for a job.
04:14:46.480
Let's just say, let's just look at what I like to call a mating pressure.
04:14:52.440
Now, I think finding love, finding a partner is one of the most important things that a
04:14:59.300
If there is a mating pressure from 30% of the population that demands that the men be providers
04:15:06.360
in the relationship and demands that men pay for first dates, wouldn't that, even on its
04:15:11.260
own, remove all these other variables I listed, the mating pressure that women place on men
04:15:18.680
She said she wouldn't go on a second date with the guy if he didn't pay.
04:15:22.440
Wouldn't that, in and of itself, explain why men make more money?
04:15:26.400
Because you, as women, put pressure on men to make more money.
04:15:36.540
And also, we don't care about how much money you guys make.
04:15:49.740
We're talking about pay gap, but what about spending's gap?
04:15:52.340
But, oh, women drive 70% to 80% of all consumer purchasing through buying power and influence.
04:16:01.260
Isn't it also the case that women take far more out of taxes and social service than men do?
04:16:11.220
But, I mean, if the expectation on men is to pay for first dates, and we need to impress
04:16:17.540
you by being able to pay for first dates and provide for you.
04:16:20.460
And let's say there's 30% of women that want to be stay-at-home wives that don't want to
04:16:25.540
work and want men to be the primary and sole breadwinner.
04:16:30.900
Wouldn't that sole variable, again, remove all the others I've mentioned, that sole variable
04:16:42.100
Would it be fair to say that men are more motivated to make money than women are because
04:16:56.980
What about the fact that, like, our primary reason to be on this earth is to reproduce?
04:17:02.600
Every single fiber of our being wants to reproduce.
04:17:05.460
I also have another one that just occurred to me.
04:17:07.960
So, you mentioned, like, men occupy higher positions of power.
04:17:12.580
That also happens to be really well-paid, right?
04:17:15.280
So, do you think women are attracted to high-status men?
04:17:21.620
Like, famous musicians, professional athletes, actors, or men who are at the top of their, like,
04:17:33.440
They find men who have prestigious jobs attractive.
04:17:37.800
Yes, but that also is because it becomes, it comes with ambition.
04:17:41.840
If a man is up there in a rank, he's, like, doing so well, it's because he's ambitious,
04:17:47.660
It comes with all these good qualities that embody, like, getting to that high-top pattern.
04:17:56.360
Just his looks, like, remove his status, remove his fame, remove his wealth, looks-wise.
04:18:03.860
Would you agree he's, like, an average-looking guy?
04:18:05.800
He's not, like, remarkably physically attractive.
04:18:10.620
If you put Drake in, like, a nightclub or a bar, and, like, there's a coat, like, a hundred women
04:18:16.360
who are, like, trying to pursue a guy, and then there's, like, a really good-looking guy,
04:18:20.840
but he has no status, he has no money, and you put Drake in a bar, nightclub, whatever,
04:18:27.800
do you think women are going to be, like, pining over that, like, really attractive guy?
04:18:31.520
Or, they might, but do you think, like, if they could pick, do you think they'd rather
04:18:39.900
I'm trying to think, maybe there's a better answer than Drake here, but.
04:18:46.120
A woman working a nine-to-five job is definitely unattractive.
04:18:56.120
Like, who are the women going to gravitate towards?
04:19:04.620
Whatever, is just not marriage material, which is not my type.
04:19:19.700
What do, is that attractive to you guys for us to be in high-ranking jobs or not?
04:19:26.120
So, you've got Drake, like, average-looking guy, but, like, super wealthy, one of the most
04:19:35.240
I shouldn't frame it as what you're going to pick.
04:19:37.800
Do you think there's going to be more women pursuing him than pursuing, like, just that
04:19:42.860
normal, but, like, good-looking, much more good-looking guy?
04:19:52.380
Yeah, to add on to that, I feel like it's more because, oh, my God, I could pull Drake
04:19:59.560
It's more of, like, if this person, if this high status is attracted to me, I get validation
04:20:06.260
That's, like, imagine, like, a supermodel comes up to you and she's, like, super into you.
04:20:10.260
Like, wouldn't you be into her because she's pretty?
04:20:12.240
But you would also get the validation that a supermodel, like, Cindy Crawford, is into
04:20:16.360
Some of them supermodels be goofy looking like another fucking line.
04:20:19.740
It would be validation, yes, but, like, you wouldn't look twice at them for, like, a relationship.
04:20:25.320
One of those girls who's just been around all the time.
04:20:27.160
Wait, but so just to finish my point here, now, if you do the reverse, right, let's say,
04:20:31.740
like, let's put Beyonce in a club and then you have, like, a 21-year-old, like, stunning
04:20:40.400
girl, but who's got, like, 100 followers on Instagram, broke, no money, no singing chops,
04:20:51.440
I would argue most, and assume Beyonce is single, right?
04:20:55.120
But most of the guys in that club, despite Beyonce's insane status and success and wealth,
04:21:01.260
most guys would pursue the beautiful 21-year-old nobody over Beyonce.
04:21:14.400
They don't, like, and it's also because of her status.
04:21:18.540
I don't want a girl who's out there in the bright lights and, like, on, like, shooting
04:21:22.880
music videos all the time and traveling all the time.
04:21:28.760
Why do you have a problem with a woman being in a spotlight?
04:21:35.420
It's just the fact that you want a humble, modest woman.
04:21:37.880
You don't want a woman who's running around and just out in the streets all the time and
04:21:42.620
You want a woman who's kind of a part of your frame rather than doing her thing all the time.
04:21:47.360
So you want her to be a part of your life versus having, like, her own life?
04:21:51.460
Because one day she's going to have children and I want her to focus on the children.
04:21:56.580
I don't want her to be focusing on travel, anything like that.
04:21:58.900
I want her to be focusing on children and family.
04:22:01.600
So you want her to just sit home or you want her to be, like, a working...
04:22:04.820
See, I think it's funny when people say things like, do you want her to just sit home?
04:22:08.940
Do you think that that's, like, an innocuous task, having children?
04:22:13.880
I'm just saying, like, you said, like, a girl going out.
04:22:18.020
So if a girl is going on work, then also people are going to look at her, you know?
04:22:23.040
Do you want a girl to be just sitting, like, being a housewife or a girl being, like, out working?
04:22:31.600
Well, and it's weird because you're looking at it through the prism of a woman.
04:22:34.360
You're looking at it as a woman who wants a man to be working.
04:22:37.180
Whereas when we look at women, it doesn't really matter to us.
04:22:49.120
She's going to go out and a lot of people are going to see her and save insecurities.
04:22:53.220
I'm not talking about seeing you from day to day.
04:22:58.960
If she is beautiful, I think then also it's got a problem at the work too.
04:23:05.720
Ideally, what you'd like is a woman who just works part-time but then focuses on the kids.
04:23:09.520
But if she's got something she's passionate about, that's a good thing.
04:23:11.360
You want them to have hobbies and to be interesting and have lots of interests, but you don't necessarily
04:23:16.520
want them to be working nine to five and going every day to work because then it neglects
04:23:21.800
the children and the children have to go to childcare.
04:23:23.780
So you want like a part-time job for her and that's okay for you, right?
04:23:27.160
A part-time job would be okay, but ideally not.
04:23:29.440
So it really is a turn-off if a woman wants like a tedious job, like a time-consuming job
04:23:40.520
I know she's got a right to, but why would you want that though?
04:23:45.440
If your husband earns enough money for you to not have to go to work, why would you want
04:23:49.880
to go to work if your husband says you don't have to work?
04:23:52.700
Well, for me, I want to pursue a career in something that I'm passionate for.
04:23:55.900
For example, in the beginning, I told you guys I wanted to study immunology and become
04:24:07.040
Like I have so much passion for this in this lifetime and I understand men would feel the
04:24:15.840
But you guys were looking around like I was strange because I said I wanted a woman who
04:24:26.920
Do you think that a woman has an urge to have children and to raise those children?
04:24:35.700
And I do want to say I actually have no issue if women want to pursue a career.
04:24:48.380
But from a dating perspective, and I kind of stepped away there for a second, I don't
04:24:53.160
think a woman's career, her ambition, how much money she makes for me and I think for
04:25:00.820
perhaps a lot of men, I don't think most men really find it more attractive.
04:25:07.440
Now, I do want to just add a caveat here so you don't think I'm a raging asshole.
04:25:12.820
I actually am very much in favor of women, for example, going into STEM.
04:25:16.120
I actually think it's a very useful career path because, for example, take cancer, for
04:25:26.320
example, or take various diseases that we don't have solutions to yet.
04:25:29.920
I think we should be throwing all of our intellectual vigor at these problems, whether that is a man,
04:25:41.120
I don't know, exploiting is not the right term.
04:25:43.620
Well, we should be exploiting the intellectual power of everyone that we can to solve these
04:25:50.920
problems, which I do think eventually will have a solution.
04:25:54.020
I think everyone here has probably known somebody who's had cancer or has a family member who's
04:26:01.660
So I'm very much in favor, actually, of women getting into STEM so we can tackle these, you
04:26:08.700
know, various ailments that people eventually come across.
04:26:12.140
But from a purely romantic perspective, I don't think men really care all that much about
04:26:21.960
I'd care more about her having interests, the thing that she's passionate about.
04:26:25.800
And if she's running a little business that's operating at a loss and that keeps her happy
04:26:31.900
But having a nine to five job while you're trying to raise children, for me, it wouldn't
04:26:36.580
be something that I'd like because you'd want them to be focused on the children.
04:26:40.220
And I think that a lot of guys have that preference, but they're sort of not allowed to say it these
04:26:44.460
days because then they get all the women who jump down their throat and say, oh, you
04:26:47.100
want us to be, you know, chained up to an oven?
04:26:50.780
There are a lot of women out there who hear that and think, yes, I would love to do that.
04:26:57.440
But then there's always this reaction when we say that where people sort of, especially,
04:27:02.740
no offense, but women who consider themselves feminists, they get like up in arms about it.
04:27:06.940
And there's a lot of women who love that, who want that.
04:27:13.700
So like when a woman is pregnant to the like first year like of the baby, still she feeds
04:27:20.980
I got it like she can stay home and she needs the proper care and kids need that to be like
04:27:27.360
But I think it should be on the man to like equally taking care of the kids.
04:27:31.680
No, not during child rearing, not during the infancy of the child.
04:27:50.820
Do you see what's happening in the schools these days?
04:27:54.680
Do you see the kinds of things that they're teaching in schools these days?
04:27:58.680
They've got all kinds of different nefarious flags hanging up around the preschools where
04:28:02.660
they're indoctrinating little kids into different ideologies.
04:28:05.560
Okay, so if you're somebody who has certain conservative values like I do, I do not want
04:28:12.660
So I want them to be at home with my wife, potentially even being homeschooled, depending
04:28:18.820
I'm trying to say it's like you are reducing her working hours because you want her to focus
04:28:32.000
Do you think that that's like crazy that a woman wouldn't want to work?
04:28:34.620
And there's nannies too that can stay home with you.
04:28:43.000
I think I used to, a few years ago, or the last maybe two years, I would have been
04:28:48.940
this more, I still wouldn't call myself a feminist, but I had a wall up against men, and I was
04:28:55.360
a little angry about some things that I went through.
04:29:05.800
I've been by myself, been doing my own thing, taking care of myself.
04:29:09.180
And it wasn't until this year that that is flipping for me, and that I have realized
04:29:17.280
I mean, I want to be able to take care of myself, and now I know I can take care of myself,
04:29:24.080
To be able to go into our feminine is to be able to be taken care of.
04:29:26.620
Once you get a little bit older, towards the wall, that they call it, that's when you
04:29:32.460
Yeah, and it is interesting that it kind of is flipping, that it used to be that way, and
04:29:36.540
when I went very feminine forward, and it is kind of going back into-
04:29:38.860
The reason why it is that way, though, is because the indoctrination is so vast that
04:29:43.720
it's like, you're fighting me about saying that you're going to reduce your wife's working
04:29:51.040
No, no, no, but you're saying to me, you're going to reduce her working hours.
04:29:56.340
No, it's a very basic thing, like I would say, kid needs like both, mom and dad, both.
04:30:03.120
You want a mother to take care of the kids and focus on them, on the values, and they
04:30:07.100
should not feel alone, everything, cultural value, whatever you want to put in the kid.
04:30:12.100
But I think it's from the both sides, it should be from the both sides.
04:30:16.900
Not only like from the mother, it should be like from the father as well.
04:30:21.000
It's the father's job to provide for his family.
04:30:24.080
The emotional support of the child and the love of the child needs to come from the mother.
04:30:28.020
I guess, I guess, I guess throughout history from time immemorial is all wrong.
04:30:36.560
And it's actually the women who are the providers after all, and men are the neutral.
04:30:39.620
We are not saying that it's equal, like you have a wife, or like I have a partner.
04:30:44.300
So I want to get married when I will be in the equal status, like I will be having a
04:30:50.460
Would you want to work full time when you're pregnant?
04:30:55.840
So while you're not equal though, because your wife, your husband is going to be the
04:31:01.120
Like at, at what time when there is no equality, I, I'm saying you can't be, you are not pregnant.
04:31:10.120
But what I'm saying is after that, take care of the baby together.
04:31:19.040
If I take it on me, I'm not, I'm not giving birth to three kids.
04:31:26.320
We can put a couple more, a couple more questions here and we will try to wrap up soon.
04:31:36.380
These ladies would rather be deleted from a home intruder than have a boyfriend with a
04:31:41.380
Ladies, quit letting your fear control your lives.
04:31:59.300
I know that Lord Day is, I don't know how to pronounce.
04:32:23.100
We don't want the word to go out that we want to exterminate the population.
04:32:29.260
Margaret Sanger, founder of Planned Parenthood.
04:32:33.200
You condemn her statement, but you won't change your vote.
04:32:38.640
Oh, there's something recently from an interesting post on Planned Parenthood's Instagram page
04:32:54.020
Actually, it'll lead up into our last thing, and then we'll hopefully get to wrap.
04:33:03.180
Nick, can you just pull up there the Planned Parenthood Instagram?
04:33:15.980
Virginity, a completely made-up concept, a term that was created to control and shame people,
04:33:22.820
Your daily reminder that virginity is a social construct, not a medical term.
04:33:28.760
Well, I don't know if people are actually trying to make the argument that virginity is a medical term,
04:33:35.800
so this is a bit of a straw man here, but it's interesting.
04:33:42.380
I don't understand a completely made-up concept.
04:33:52.700
Well, if somebody hasn't had sexual intercourse, then they are virgins.
04:34:01.020
I think, like, yeah, I guess there's a lot of people, like, a very small population, like, nuns and stuff,
04:34:11.940
But a term that's created to control and shame people, mainly women, I mean, agree, disagree with that, guys?
04:34:20.320
I think it's definitely made to shame people, yeah.
04:34:29.880
Shame women who are virgins or shame women who are not?
04:34:33.420
Well, then, so it's not a term that was made up to shame women, I mean.
04:34:49.900
It's the factual definition behind virgin is a thing.
04:34:57.140
Well, what I actually interestingly find that's related to virginity is, well, could be related to virginity.
04:35:04.440
I think what they're trying to say is that women are shamed if they're promiscuous or have a high body count or are not virgins.
04:35:12.160
But it occurs to me that men are shamed in sort of this opposite way if men are virgins or men are involuntarily celibate or incels.
04:35:30.420
I would say women are also shamed for being virgins.
04:35:38.800
I have heard women come on the show and they say, yeah, I've heard from women who are like, yeah, I was a virgin or I wasn't really doing hookup culture.
04:35:45.820
I'd only been with one guy and all my friend group would make fun of me for not, like, having hookups or shamed me for being a virgin, so, which I think is wrong.
04:35:57.860
It's like if I've told guys, like, this is when I lost my virginity, they're always really surprised.
04:36:14.420
We got people losing that shit in junior high school and that's a bit young.
04:36:20.940
At least wait till, like, you know, a little later on.
04:36:24.580
Well, maybe I also, like, women tend to feel shame, maybe, if they're still a virgin later on in life, too.
04:36:36.960
Normally, it's, like, it's because of a religious conviction.
04:36:40.120
You don't really get many girls who aren't religious and waiting till marriage.
04:36:54.640
Yeah, well, related to that sign, do you guys, you often hear men preferring women with a low body count or even preferring virgins.
04:37:14.560
Do you think it's, do you object to men caring about a woman's body count?
04:37:31.320
The girl in pink is semi-based but needs to read more.
04:37:34.800
As always, Madison is the only nine present, panel, gender normative roles build the world.
04:37:48.380
She said you're semi-based, so it means you're semi-in touch with reality, but you need to read a few more books.
04:37:59.220
Are you talking about the thing I told, like, I was talking about?
04:38:03.120
I think just, it's like a synopsis of the episode.
04:38:05.980
It's a bit of a cliff notes of your performance.
04:38:13.480
Oh, do you object to men caring about body count?
04:38:18.800
It could be a valid, like, it's, if they're triggered by it, then they, they need to communicate it.
04:38:42.140
Do I object to a man having a preference for a woman with a low body count or having a preference for a woman who's a virgin?
04:38:50.960
If I was to get with a guy and then I told him my body count and he was to turn me away, then I would object that.
04:39:11.360
I, but I think your path shouldn't define you and that goes both ways.
04:40:06.640
Whatever your answers were, you got to multiply.
04:40:43.340
Stifler normally asks this question, but he's not in the chat today.
04:40:46.420
Stifler wants to know, rate yourself on a scale of one to ten.
04:40:53.920
If you had to rate your looks on a scale of one to ten.
04:41:12.460
You can't factor in how fantastic of a super chat reader you are.
04:41:23.080
I'm going to give myself a nine because I feel myself getting prettier and doing things to, you know, look a certain way that I'm heading towards.
04:41:36.200
Have you had a little jerk-a-smile going on there?
04:41:52.240
Are we talking like the Suicide Squad Joker or like the Heath Ledger Joker?
04:41:57.160
Because I don't know if she's going to get like a...
04:42:19.600
Gender normative roles means the man hunts money, provision, etc.
04:42:24.900
And the woman produces offspring, nurtures, etc.
04:42:28.480
Despite recent popular ideas, this is what built the world.
04:42:40.120
You guys keep looking at each other and laughing.
04:42:43.300
So do you think men should always pay on the first date?
04:43:00.160
You don't think that there's a yin and yang of the world?
04:43:04.660
But again, what I'm saying, I think feminism allows those that don't want to pursue that
04:43:11.980
But do you think that there is a natural order to the world and a yin and yang?
04:43:15.080
That if adhered to actually create something quite beautiful, a unity?
04:43:19.500
But I do feel that a lot of individuals don't feel that.
04:43:22.240
I personally feel that, but I know a lot of women that don't.
04:43:25.980
We're just talking about, in general, that exists.
04:43:28.260
And if somebody wants to embody that in their relationship and their family, surely that's
04:43:33.880
I notice that every time we say something, you guys look at each other and laugh as if
04:43:37.780
Because of your toxic masculinity, Jake, I will not stand for your toxic masculinity and
04:43:56.780
Like, it's the really quick thing about the traditional gender roles.
04:44:00.560
Like, I've been to places like Morocco and Albania.
04:44:07.660
But they're like, they have no freedom to even get to do or choose what they...
04:44:14.460
I'm talking about more of, like, the biblical patriarchy.
04:44:17.800
And, you know, the masculine and feminine order of the world that is embodied in the micro
04:44:58.520
So, we'll go around rating 1 to 10, then we'll do his.
04:45:02.200
What do you have your looks on what's scale of 1 to 10?
04:45:26.700
Honestly, right now, I've got to give myself a 5.
04:45:30.480
I got a little dad bod right now, so I've got to lose the dad bod.
04:45:35.180
Once I lose the dad bod, I think I can get back to a 6.
04:46:03.760
So, I gain some weight because this is some stressful shit, yo.
04:46:19.320
I put down two burgers, french fries, and a shake.
04:46:40.780
Does Ratface TV over here know that during his whole phase,
04:46:44.440
condoms were not protecting him from genital herpes?
04:47:00.000
Thank you, though, for your concern, Jay Butler.
04:47:01.700
Jay Butler, you've been a little bit, you know, a little more ruthless.
04:47:07.820
Normally, you just politely talk about herpes, but now you're making shots.
04:47:12.180
See, every, literally, guys, everyone, everyone's got herpes.
04:47:17.820
Jay Butler, he lives in the herpes capital of the United States, which is New Orleans,
04:47:29.820
And he's a urologist, which means he looks at a lot of dicks.
04:47:40.500
One hour, he sees all the, collectively, all the dicks.
04:47:49.260
Amish children do not cry because the family unit is so strong and traditional.
04:47:54.360
Ask an Amish child when he has heard his father yell in anger, and he will tell you never.
04:48:12.360
Would you, like, would you churn butter with an Amish dude?
04:48:20.140
And actually, could I say, I want to say to you, I know an Amish guy.
04:48:32.540
like homophobia that is meant to denigrate normal,
04:48:35.680
hetero men who believe and behave in a nature-devised way to provide for their mates.
04:48:40.140
Wow, that was, um, wait, you didn't, didn't, wait.
04:48:47.280
Oh, there's no, excuse me, there's no, yo, Apollo Shinoda, thank you very much for your patronage.
04:49:02.140
They then shame men who prefer to prefer potential mothers.
04:49:09.460
Frizzy Hair Corner, you are guilty of this evil.
04:49:13.500
Is that the girl that just got up while you sent in that super chat?
04:49:17.020
Or, because we have a couple, well, you guys have curly hair.
04:49:21.400
I object, Doc, they don't have frizzy hair, they have curly hair.
04:49:26.480
And as there are guests of mine, Doc Vinabalus, I'm deeply offended that you would dare,
04:49:32.240
they've got, bro, look at her flow, her flow is fucking dope.
04:49:35.680
It's very rare that we have so many curly-haired women in the studio.
04:49:43.620
How dare you say that they have frizzy hair, okay?
04:49:47.040
Look at her lovely hair, look at her lovely hair, look at her lovely hair.
04:49:55.320
Going back to long hair don't care, he was at, wait, did we go around on the, oh, yeah,
04:50:02.920
He wanted, Jesus Christ, he wanted to know your, the BJ skills.
04:50:13.560
If you want to rate it on a scale of one to ten, I mean.
04:50:21.340
I would say maybe like a seven because I didn't get my tonsils out as a child.
04:50:30.540
So it's better because the tonsils are still there?
04:50:32.660
Yeah, if you want a deep throat, you've got to have no tonsils.
04:50:59.000
I would say higher, but then there's one person.
04:51:04.300
Like made you question it because like, like made you question it in the sense like you
04:51:17.780
Um, I want to answer and be like, oh, it's the same thing as before.
04:51:23.800
It just keeps going up and up and up, but I'll honor him like eight.
04:51:48.820
You should have been like, I'm a fucking ten, yo.
04:52:04.340
Jake, on a scale of one to ten, what are your BJ's skills?
04:52:08.680
Rate your BJ's skills on a scale of one to ten.
04:52:15.580
This name on my donations is just my lame Twitch game attack because this donation system
04:52:35.880
The gun treason, wait, the gunpowder treason and plot.
04:52:48.900
He won't feel like a real man unless deep throat.
04:52:57.500
I don't think, I don't know if deep throat is necessary, to be honest.
04:53:19.360
One quick thing, going back to the rating thing, Kayla, you said you're getting better looking?
04:53:28.240
So I wanted to go around the table on this related to the rating thing.
04:53:31.620
Do you guys think that you look better now, or do you think you'll look better in 10 years,
04:53:44.120
Will you look better in 10 years, or do you, oh, my God, Jesus, I'm like, room temperature.
04:53:52.320
I think you understand the question, but I'm not phrasing it properly.
04:53:57.200
I think in 10 years, I'll be prettier than I am now.
04:54:01.740
So do you think you'll be better looking at 34 than at 24?
04:54:07.700
Will you be better looking at 30 than you are now at 20?
04:54:21.220
I think I'm going to be beautiful at all ages, but I will say when I look back at younger
04:54:31.420
So do you think you'll be better looking at 39 versus 29?
04:54:44.220
So do you think you'll be better looking at 31 versus 21?
04:54:55.160
I think women kind of go into their looks sometimes.
04:55:13.240
Will you be better looking at 44 versus now at 24?
04:55:23.800
I'm worried that maybe around like 43 is when I'll start.
04:55:30.600
Maybe I'll start looking back by then and be like, oh my gosh, look at that photo of me.
04:55:40.840
I'm going to age delicately and as gracefully as I can.
04:55:54.920
Great panel tonight, especially your wingman, Brian.
04:55:58.760
Also, more frowns, faces, and lip syncs from Madison always welcome.
04:56:17.260
I'm going to be a beautiful old lady and I'm beautiful now.
04:56:23.840
You can still, you can still be attractive when you're older.
04:56:37.300
So, you think you'll peak at, like, in your 30s?
04:57:06.860
You, you think you'll be more physically attractive at 41 versus now at 21?
04:57:24.320
I'd say you're probably more in your physical prime in your late 20s and early 30s as a
04:57:29.580
man, but in your 40s, in terms of career and where you're at and the wisdom you've gained,
04:57:36.560
But I don't know if we were, if you guys are answering that question as in, like,
04:57:40.120
Yeah, but what I was saying, were you guys doing it as in, like, what men would be attracted
04:57:43.100
to, or were you doing what, if you think you're more beautiful?
04:57:50.820
Well, I mean, to answer the question, I actually think, I certainly think I was better looking
04:57:57.060
Um, and I don't think I'm going to get better looking, uh, as the years go on.
04:58:02.600
So, uh, certainly no, not in 10 years, not in 20 years.
04:58:17.380
You would have, you would have, you would have totally made me wait for sex for like three
04:58:23.760
I feel like you and surfer dude, Brian would have been a good couple.
04:58:39.960
My, my little OCD is just saying that we never finished going around with our dream men
04:58:47.380
You're right, we should, we should complete that because I know you guys want to hear what
04:58:54.020
Because you, you know, you want to hear my thoughts.
04:59:02.140
Oh, well, were we, I think we were wrapping up on, oh, I just wanted to say, I'm not, don't
04:59:08.540
Um, but, uh, as time goes on, you know, we tend to age, putting this as delicately
04:59:23.960
as possible here, as time goes on, we age, we get wrinkles.
04:59:31.560
I don't know if the whole, you'll be better looking in 10 years thing, 20 years thing,
04:59:35.680
you know, you're probably as good looking in this exact moment as you'll be.
04:59:50.920
Yeah, we'll, we'll have you come back on this podcast in 10 years.
05:00:19.900
To say you'll be better looking in 10 years than 20 years.
05:00:23.180
Speaking of, why didn't you have the balls to ask Molly why she thinks she is so popular on Of?
05:00:33.440
Wait, uh, why didn't I ask Molly why she thinks she is so popular on OF?
05:00:44.740
She's, she's been on the show like three or four times.
05:00:47.060
Um, if you want Nickelodeon, I'll ask her next time she's on the show.
05:00:54.620
I did not realize that you were sitting on a new simp cushion.
05:01:00.720
I can see the gorgeous chemical fumes rising from their heads.
05:01:25.720
My, like, 19-year-old surfer girlfriend over here.
05:01:50.140
Listen, if you do it again, Doc, if you fucking-
05:01:55.720
My dear friends here, if you talk shit about their fucking hair one more fucking time, Doc, I swear to fucking God-
05:02:01.880
It will rain down on a godly fucking firestorm upon you.
05:02:04.900
You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you.
05:02:12.640
Here is a one hundred to get you to shut the fuck up.
05:02:24.700
If you come from my homegirls and their fucking hair, Doc Van Abelis, we're gonna have a fucking problem.
05:02:35.940
I got into my, like, have you guys seen The Sopranos?
05:02:50.660
She, Katie, really wanted to go around and hear everybody's, what you're looking for in a guy.
05:03:11.100
Pansexual is, but I think a little bit different.
05:03:12.640
Well, it's like, you would date somebody who's trans, for example.
05:03:16.820
I, I personally don't think I would, so I think that's why I identify as bisexual.
05:03:25.620
Um, so the, my person of interest, the good qualities I'm looking for is probably ambitious.
05:03:30.700
I want somebody who's passionate about something and driven.
05:03:36.140
Um, someone who's funny and charismatic and outgoing, very adventurous, and someone who's
05:03:49.900
Um, I'm lucky enough that I have my dream man, and he's ambitious, kind, caring.
05:03:56.780
He makes me a softer person, more in my feminine.
05:03:59.160
Um, he's encouraging, and he just is always looking out for his family, his friends, um,
05:04:07.100
So I'm lucky enough to have met my dream person.
05:04:11.680
Yeah, the qualities I would say is like loyal, honesty, patience, thoughtful, and open-minded,
05:04:19.920
and also, like, willing to be vulnerable and emotional and adventurous.
05:04:25.280
Um, I would say I like a moderate man, not, like, more masculine personality, nor more,
05:04:37.760
Also, I want a family-oriented, ambitious, uh, I don't know how you pronounce it.
05:04:43.320
I do, right now, if he's not at a stable job, but he should have some goals, and he's
05:04:49.380
Like, I should feel like he, he want to do something in life.
05:04:52.740
But, before I have Jake go here, I just want to ask the chat, I want you to rate, wait,
05:05:00.720
I want you to rate the back of Kayla's head on a scale of 1 to 10, chat.
05:05:05.580
Rate the back of her head on a scale of 1 to 10.
05:05:15.800
There's lots of cities with more interesting women around this great country, especially
05:05:22.340
There is dollar to made, but even better conversation.
05:05:26.200
Apollo, first off, thank you for your, uh, chat.
05:05:28.940
I actually have considered, like, having a, uh, a tour bus, and, like, going, doing the
05:05:34.880
show in different cities, but that's, like, a major logistical thing.
05:05:44.160
Like, okay, one week, Sunday, Tuesday, we're in Idaho.
05:05:52.360
And just get women from those local geographic areas to come on the show.
05:06:05.600
It's just, uh, it's a question of, uh, it'd be super fun, but it's logistically doing
05:06:12.900
that and, like, having, because, like, our studio setup is not mobile.
05:06:21.140
Um, we'd probably need a sponsor to go and do that.
05:06:25.720
You know, we were talking, like, multiple people, like, flights, hotels.
05:06:31.360
Do we rely on, like, local, a local potential studio?
05:06:40.680
Actually, I'm going to keep this secret, but we're, we're working on a new format.
05:06:44.160
So, um, oh, Jake, you're, by the way, chat, please rate the back of your head.
05:06:50.000
Um, Jake, what are you looking for in a lady friend?
05:06:53.940
I'd say number one thing would be that she has to fear God.
05:06:59.140
She has to, not has to, but preferably a virgin, if not a very low body count with only partners.
05:07:06.100
Feminine, submissive, loyal, and just wants to have a family and multiply and have a big army of children.
05:07:25.240
Pay attention, guys, because this is going to be, this is going to be good.
05:07:27.700
All right, so let's start with the looks, and I've, I've written it, I've written it down.
05:07:36.500
Um, any race is fine, but I do have a slight preference for white women, slight preference, and Asian women.
05:07:43.880
Don't get me wrong, I date other races, but slight preference.
05:07:47.760
Um, let's see, uh, slight preference, uh, you know, I like short women, but I don't really care.
05:07:55.560
They could be an Amazon woman, 6'7", don't care.
05:08:02.320
Uh, it's always funny telling a woman who's, like, 5'2", she's too tall for me.
05:08:10.340
Obviously, I care about, like, hygiene and grooming and stuff, but strong preference for no plastic surgery.
05:08:14.540
No fake tits, no fake lips, no BBL, no lipo, no, no labiaplasty.
05:08:21.500
I don't know if you guys remember my, uh, non-profit organization, Big Labia Matter.
05:08:34.760
We can't allow women to keep getting their pussy lips chopped off.
05:08:46.020
So, yeah, for example, okay, when it comes to the plastic surgery thing,
05:08:49.440
I prefer a girl with, like, A cups over big, giant fake titties.
05:09:01.100
I'd prefer a smaller, small upper lip over, like, you know, the fake.
05:09:10.460
Give me, I'll take a flat bum over a big, giant BBL booty.
05:09:16.580
Nice butt is good, but I'd prefer no butt over the BBL.
05:10:00.500
Yes, he's asking if you've kissed a vagina with big lips.
05:10:05.420
Well, here's where I'm going to lose all the women at the table.
05:10:16.000
Now, I believe if, I want my girl to come before me.
05:11:25.760
Um, she, she had a labiaplasty and she showed me after the show cause she does porn.
05:11:33.840
She showed me the photos afterwards before and after is one of the most deeply depressing
05:11:57.880
It is, it is unfortunate though that women get shamed if they have a large labia, you
05:12:06.700
Has any, any woman here been shamed for their labia?
05:12:14.980
The, it's like the, it's like the, you know, it's like the labia.
05:12:24.440
I just think it's unfortunate, you know, that, that women get shamed.
05:12:27.240
And I, I've heard very derogatory terms like beef curtains.
05:12:33.740
Are, are you all, who's also, there's someone else who's bi here.
05:12:36.640
Do you have a preference when it comes to the labia?
05:12:51.780
Don't get me wrong, Indies are great, don't get me wrong.
05:13:01.280
Brian doesn't do that because he's afraid of death by eating a bad clam.
05:13:11.240
So, um, how do you feel about a woman refusing to, to, you know, would you be okay with that?
05:13:29.480
If it's like retributive, like, oh, you don't do that.
05:13:32.980
So then even though I normally be sucking dick, I'm not going to do it because you don't do it.
05:13:38.760
Then it's like a little bit, I kind of get, but like for me, it's not like, but truthfully, I haven't really encountered that.
05:13:47.420
Do you have to tell women that before you get with them?
05:13:50.860
Like, I'd be so disappointed if I like was with you and then we finally got to that stage where we're in bed and then it's like, oh, I'm not going to do that.
05:14:03.560
They look at me and they're like, he's not a munch.
05:14:30.800
You were like, I saw you looking at me deep in the eyes, deep in the eyes.
05:14:35.040
And you're like, I could tell from how you looked.
05:14:37.260
You're like, before I even said anything, I knew that you knew that I don't eat pussy.
05:14:50.240
I feel like women have this sixth sense, right?
05:14:52.280
You know, like, that motherfucker doesn't eat pussy.
05:15:00.840
Wait, Jake, Jake, do you, do you eat pussy, Jake?
05:15:05.220
It's something that I wouldn't do unless it was a special person.
05:15:17.220
I want her to come first, preferably multiple times, if possible.
05:15:20.700
See, I feel like that's a really good, like, alternative that you do.
05:15:33.500
But, you know, it's, well, even if, even if you look at it, because there's some guys
05:15:38.620
who, like, just don't give a fuck, like, they don't really care.
05:15:41.000
But even if your motivation is purely selfish, one, if you can make the girl come, she's just
05:15:49.320
going to be more immersed in the sex to begin with, or anyways.
05:15:55.680
So, even if you're purely, you're, and I'm not necessarily saying that for me, but even
05:16:01.800
if your intentions are purely selfish, you're going to have a better time if she comes, I
05:16:15.580
Let's, oh, I already mentioned the plastic surgery thing.
05:16:32.240
So, if my girlfriend came to me and asked my opinion if she should get plastic surgery,
05:16:36.400
I would do everything in my power to make her feel beautiful as she is, and tell her I
05:16:41.700
like her just as she is, and steer her away from making what I view is the wrong decision.
05:16:47.580
If she's got small boobs, I like her small boobs.
05:16:52.860
I mean, obviously, look, take care of yourself.
05:17:08.060
Like, so she, no, no, no, not, like, for weird, relax, guys.
05:17:14.520
Like, I like a girl who can, like, scratch and massage my back for, like, hours on end.
05:17:21.660
Preferably, she's done at least three years of cello or violin.
05:17:31.280
I don't know if this counts, but women with nice voices.
05:17:33.700
And there's different kinds of voices that can be nice, but I think women with, like, more soft, pleasant voices, very good.
05:17:50.240
Where's all the women who are premature ejaculators?
05:17:55.740
Like, where's the women who, like, come immediately?
05:18:04.820
There are some women who are so insanely orgasmic, and I've only encountered this, like, three times,
05:18:12.920
who literally, within ten seconds, not, like, from intercourse, come.
05:18:27.160
Sometimes it takes a while to get the first one, but then after that.
05:18:36.820
So, where's all the ladies who are, it's not, it wouldn't even be premature.
05:18:47.600
Is that, could you, like, could a girl come too quick?
05:18:54.260
Sometimes, if it's too often sometimes, and it's a bit annoying, because it just constantly stops the flow.
05:19:13.180
Personality, moderate preference for introverted women.
05:19:15.680
I like quiet, calm, soft-spoken, slightly endearingly awkward, a little bit shy, a little bit nerdy.
05:19:22.340
And also, I'd say, once, like, a shy or introverted person gets comfortable around you, I actually think their personalities tend to really blossom.
05:19:54.160
So, like, I want a girl who's, like, dating other dudes.
05:19:59.620
Like, I want a girl who's just so immediately, like, immediately she just gives me her undivided romantic and sexual attention.
05:21:18.560
I will pay for the first date if she does a good bow.
05:21:38.400
I think it could have been a little slower, but.
05:22:01.980
You guys will make your future boyfriend, or current boyfriend.
05:22:09.140
Will you, just as an experiment, just like, do you think he's watching this episode, your
05:22:15.740
I want you, he's probably going to be like, what, is she okay?
05:22:19.580
Next time you see him in person, because he's gone, right?
05:22:22.340
Just like, as soon as he gets through the door, just like, bust out a bow.
05:22:32.420
You don't want to date somebody who's quarrelsome.
05:22:47.580
Before we wrap up, does anyone have a final thought?
05:22:50.280
Before we wrap up, anything dating related you'd like to get off your chest before we wrap
05:22:59.060
Drake, if I saw you at a club, I'd approach you.
05:23:04.080
I could get you, never mind, linked with his, someone he knew in high school.
05:23:15.540
A girl can be a provider also, and also she can be a mother, a good mother.
05:23:24.260
She can be both together, and the feminist thing I'm going to say, girls, just come out
05:23:30.700
Like, nothing going to happen by sitting in the house.
05:23:35.400
So just instead of yelling like, feminist, feminism, we want this, just come out, get
05:23:40.480
educated, get the job, do whatever you want to do.
05:23:44.700
I mean, no one said that they couldn't be a provider.
05:23:53.140
I just said it a thought, like, a woman can be a provider.
05:23:57.540
You're going to say something, then I'm going to say something, then you're going to say
05:23:59.940
By the way, I do want to say, you know, Jake here, the reality is, this entire show, Jake's
05:24:08.000
He's actually a bleeding heart liberal, and he's just a plant here to trigger all of you.
05:24:16.740
So please don't be offended by all the toxic masculinity he's displayed, and the misogyny
05:24:26.740
Because he's really deep down, he's a super liberal guy.
05:25:07.460
I did three years of acting school, and now it's paying off.
05:26:01.620
But I can play piano at a two-week skill level.
05:26:10.380
I think there's one more thing Jake really wanted to go in on.
05:26:14.980
If you guys are cool going for another five or ten minutes.
05:26:20.560
He wants to revert to his devil's advocate position.
05:26:28.340
A couple of you said you were, you know, a big feminist, right?
05:26:33.340
Those of you who consider yourself feminists, do you guys think that women are oppressed in modern day here in the U.S.?
05:26:50.660
Do you think women are oppressed in the United States?
05:26:56.540
I wouldn't know the meaning of the word, actually.
05:27:03.780
I would say in certain parts of the United States.
05:27:24.780
Prolonged, cruel, or unjust treatment or control.
05:27:27.220
The state of being subject to unjust treatment or control.
05:27:36.800
I mean, it's from banishing witches to still going on, yeah, I guess.
05:28:14.200
What are your thoughts on collateralized debt obligations?
05:28:23.980
What's your thesis on collateralized debt obligations?
05:28:27.180
Does that mean you're in debt and it's collateral because I've never heard that?
05:28:43.180
Sorry, you just have to be in the know on that sort of thing.
05:29:21.480
I completely felt like freedom of speech and everything I say is pretty much heard.
05:29:28.180
I haven't signed up for a very dangerous job where I would, obviously if I did, I'd get
05:29:55.360
Especially in the patriarchy, in male-dominated industries.
05:30:29.740
Not knowing where I'm supposed to stand in the middle of it.
05:30:40.440
So you feel like the topic itself, like you feel like you don't know whether you want to
05:30:47.380
You are being oppressed right now by the whatever podcast.
05:31:03.100
But I also feel like I'm really good at going after what I want and putting myself out there.
05:31:14.920
Prolonged, cruel, or unjust treatment or control.
05:31:17.440
The state of being subject to unjust treatment or control.
05:31:27.620
But yes, I mean, I don't think like right out there taking away our rights.
05:31:31.240
I think it's more in things that are like birth control and stuff like that that is controlling
05:31:37.400
us in other ways that is repressing our pussy powers.
05:31:42.460
Are you in favor of birth control or against birth control?
05:31:48.200
I'm just saying that it has effects on the woman's body that oppresses our natural integrity.
05:31:58.740
Personally, I feel very lucky to be in California.
05:32:02.460
Wade, like some women don't have the option for abortion.
05:32:06.120
Also being born in America, my mom is an immigrant mother from Iran.
05:32:09.620
She grew up here, there until she was 25 and immigrated here.
05:32:13.040
Like the level of oppression over there for women is absolutely insane.
05:32:17.000
They couldn't even show their hair down for many years of my mother's life.
05:32:21.080
Like personally, I feel no oppression and I'm so thankful for it.
05:32:31.240
Yeah, I don't personally feel oppressed, but I do think in the world there's still a lot of...
05:32:36.020
Yeah, and I'm talking more like the United States or Western countries.
05:32:39.880
I don't feel it in California since I'm living here.
05:32:47.080
I think California does play a big part in me not feeling oppressed.
05:32:50.300
Like if I grew up in a state, in a different state, that, for example, Roe v. Wade was more proactive and like was more effective.
05:32:58.820
Like I would personally feel oppressed by not having the option to get an abortion.
05:33:02.080
Do you feel like California is a well-run state?
05:33:06.060
Do you feel like Gavin Newsom is doing a good job?
05:33:14.660
Yeah, we would talk about this for hours, but I have opinions.
05:33:17.200
We can always do round two on that if you guys are down to come back sometime.
05:33:38.460
Okay, so going back to the patriarchy thing, what is the patriarchy?
05:33:49.600
I feel like it's just more like a male-dominated industry, and it's the suppression of women
05:33:57.780
It's like kind of this emphasis that a man can do a better job than a woman can and is
05:34:06.460
That's my personal definition of patriarchy, and it might not be the actual definition,
05:34:14.920
I feel like men are more respected immediately than women, and we almost have to earn that
05:34:20.080
respect when men are almost given it, and yeah, it's just, they're seen as superior
05:34:34.060
Do you guys think that the male race is superior to the women race?
05:34:38.300
There's no judgment in it, because I've had conversations with men about this before,
05:34:46.400
Are you talking about superior in certain ways, or are you talking about superior in value?
05:34:52.500
If you had to combine all the overarching values in general, would you say, is there a superior
05:35:06.860
Obviously, we're different, but we're equal in value, though.
05:35:17.740
Like, I don't think there's a man who's superior.
05:35:22.740
I think it's kind of silly when someone says it, because we need each other just as much.
05:35:27.720
Like, I need a woman just as much as a woman needs a man.
05:35:31.320
If you want to do what you're here to do, which is to, you know, procreate, you need each other.
05:35:36.460
And there's an order to the world that we both have roles in.
05:35:41.400
But you guys are also superior at different things.
05:35:43.180
Yeah, I definitely think there's women that are, in various ways, women are superior to men in certain things.
05:35:48.660
And perhaps men are superior to women in other things, in other realms.
05:35:51.760
I'd like to flip the question back to you, though.
05:36:19.860
I'm actually interested to know the answer to it.
05:36:23.660
They don't have to say, they don't do it, but they know that they are responsible.
05:36:27.980
They have, like, they don't have to, like, I don't know how to explain it.
05:36:33.500
But for a girl, like, someone has to bring up in their head, like, they are responsible.
05:36:39.900
So you're saying men are better at making serious decisions?
05:36:51.520
That's inbuilt in them, I would say, kind of thing.
05:36:54.660
That's kind of attractive, and let's make them man for me.
05:37:19.220
I think, for the good men, that they are natural protectors.
05:37:31.620
Even though I don't identify with those passions, I think a lot of guys have a lot of passion
05:37:35.420
for a lot of things, and it's pretty cool to see that.
05:37:49.480
They don't have as much of a facade on a lot of the time, so it's just like, you can, yeah,
05:38:06.120
Not really, like, paying attention to, like, the small stuff that I would if I was by myself.
05:38:10.820
And, I don't know, some guys are just really nice, and they don't play dumb, and I just
05:38:16.500
feel like they're more, like, genuine and raw with, like, their actions, and, yes, some
05:38:28.000
I have one last question, and then we will wrap up here.
05:38:31.900
Unless you guys want to keep going, we can, but.
05:39:02.460
Like, you get a group of men versus a group of women to do something, like, build.
05:39:18.600
I think, I don't think that every woman needs a man as a caretaker in her life.
05:39:26.580
Not every woman, but I do think society 100% needs men.
05:39:29.680
Men need women, because I think, and, like, you're a Christian, didn't, like, women come
05:39:42.340
She was created, actually, as a helper for Adam.
05:39:44.380
In my opinion, men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, and we're both here on this
05:40:02.780
Anyone final closing statement from anybody before I wrap up here?
05:40:12.660
This is, like, an old conversation, but, yeah, I think that men, even though they may be providing
05:40:18.260
and the woman may be at home, I still think it's their responsibility to raise the child
05:40:24.120
There still has to be emotional support from the father, and there should be engagement
05:40:33.420
Was that directed at what we were talking about before?
05:40:36.640
So, I think there's a mischaracterization from both of you that's, that when you, what I
05:41:05.280
You said before that you didn't want a response when you said it, that you think that women
05:41:24.040
So, no one ever said that women can't be providers and that men shouldn't be there for their children.
05:41:30.040
But I'm just talking about, I was talking about in my ideal standards.
05:41:32.780
It would be the man who's the provider and the mother would take the primary role with
05:41:37.200
What you want to say is, like, taking care of a kid is supposed to be equal.
05:41:45.200
Are you saying, like, 50-50 in terms of they should spend the same amount of time with
05:41:51.000
Not the same amount of time, but they should definitely spend time with the child.
05:41:54.460
Just because they work doesn't mean they don't get engaged with their child.
05:42:10.140
The man should take care of the child just as much as the mother and should spend just
05:42:15.420
Do you think that the child needs the mother more in that time or the father more?
05:42:18.980
I think they may need the mother more, but that doesn't mean they don't need the father
05:42:22.260
I didn't say that they don't need the father as well.
05:42:23.760
I didn't say that they need the mother more in that time when they're young, when they're
05:42:31.760
That the mother should probably take that primary role.
05:42:33.420
But I'm not saying that men shouldn't have a role.
05:42:36.720
But I say that the primary role of a man would be to provide for the family.
05:42:39.880
To go to work, do the hours that you need to do, and make sure that the mother doesn't
05:42:48.700
The dad's role is to make sure everything's sorted so that she can do her best role to
05:42:53.560
But I don't think that he shouldn't have any involvement.
05:42:55.880
And also, I don't think that the mother can't work.
05:43:02.340
Your opinions on that will probably change when you have kids.
05:43:08.780
This is for the feminists, and I'm going to wrap up the show.
05:43:10.620
So, directed towards the feminists, related to our patriarchy and feminism and oppression
05:43:56.380
Say, wait, men have been more oppressed than women.
05:43:59.240
Men have been more oppressed than women, both historically and in current time, modern
05:44:09.600
I disagree historically, but I definitely see it becoming an issue currently.
05:44:22.900
Men raised children and mold children into grown men and women.
05:44:26.800
All studies point to children raised by men do better than children raised by mothers alone.
05:44:39.400
If you ever feel like you want to share money, I'll drop my Venmo in the bind.
05:44:59.220
I feel like historically they had harsher duties and less freedom.
05:45:05.060
They were just kind of given hard things to do.
05:45:08.540
One of them being protecting women, which is harder to do back then because we were taken advantage of.
05:45:16.980
I really haven't heard a man, like, complain about much.
05:45:22.500
So, I mean, I could approach the argument from quite a few ways.
05:45:30.700
So, again, there's a lot of different ways that I can make this argument, but I'll just use my, what I consider to be my ultimate one.
05:45:41.660
So, and this is for both modern day and throughout human history.
05:45:45.040
So, if we look at gender-specific grievances and oppression, if I were to look at the worst one, the worst women-specific, woman-specific gender grievance, and compare it to the worst male-specific gender grievance, just comparatively, and I'll name it in a sec, I think the male one is orders of magnitude worse than the female one.
05:46:11.060
Now, if I were to even collectively take all of women's collective grievances and compare it to this one grievance that men have experienced throughout all of human history, I would argue that that sole grievance that men have nearly exclusively experienced outweighs in orders of magnitude more than all of women's collective grievances, and that is warfare.
05:46:34.900
Now, you have forced military conscription, which adds even another layer.
05:46:40.740
So, not only was there just soldiers who volunteered to be soldiers, but you also had men who did not want to go to war, who were forced into war, and who came back either maimed, injured, severe, severe mental injury, or just outright dead.
05:47:00.360
So, um, that sole male-specific grievance, I believe, outweighs all of women's collective grievances.
05:47:09.640
Let's look at World War I, let's look at World War II.
05:47:17.040
World War II, casualties of war, tens of millions.
05:47:20.820
These casualties, injuries and deaths, were almost exclusively inflicted upon men, uh, the vast majority of which were not volunteer soldiers, they were conscripted into the army.
05:47:33.560
Um, you know, the, the suffering that men, not just the death, not just the injury, but the actual suffering that men have experienced in the midst of warfare.
05:47:42.160
Take example, trench warfare, trench, trench foot, chemical weapons, uh, the, the, the, these men lose their hearing, tinnitus from the, the constant barrage of shells.
05:47:54.840
Um, it occurs to me that that is a far greater level of suffering than has been experienced by women.
05:48:04.260
Including losing your child and the word that I'm not allowed to say on here.
05:48:08.300
I'd like to counter with sex trafficking, the warfare of sex trafficking.
05:48:19.080
Would you rather be, would you rather be murdered or S-A-ed?
05:48:32.940
Would you rather be murdered or lose your child?
05:48:35.720
Would you rather, like, do you yourself die or your child?
05:48:42.760
But in your point of saying that the mother's sole purpose is to be a mother and nurture.
05:48:46.580
And so we are that much more connected with that child.
05:48:48.820
So we are going to grieve the loss of the child that we are that much more connected to than a man.
05:48:52.100
I think it's probably fair to say that a mother would maybe grieve just as much, but also it's a man's child.
05:48:57.380
So just to be clear, so your, your argument is that, let's just say, throughout all of human history, the, the supposed, the, the sex trafficking that has occurred to women is worse than the tens of millions or hundreds of millions of primarily male deaths that have occurred throughout all of human history?
05:49:31.120
What, how many men do you think decide if we go to war or not?
05:49:36.180
How many women get decided if they're going to be S8 or not?
05:49:43.260
None of the women that get sexually assaulted choose to.
05:49:50.160
No, but you were, your argument was, when I said, here's all the men that suffer because of warfare, you said, well, who is inflicting that upon men?
05:49:58.700
And so your argument is, but other men, which to some degree is victim blaming.
05:50:07.100
But okay, if, if say a hundred men send 20 million men to war so that those hundred men happen to have a penis, that doesn't diminish the fact that all those men that went to war were to some degree engaged or that they were in the midst of suffering.
05:50:32.620
I think what she's trying to say is that the patriarchy is run by men and that patriarchy is what sent these men to war.
05:50:40.740
And then I think her argument is that, um, like these women that are sold into sex trafficking, these women around the world that are forced into, you know, marriage at 13, 14 years old.
05:50:56.140
I think, I think SA, I think SA and any sort of trafficking is a terrible thing, but we're, if we're having a, an intellectual conversation about like quantifiably, what is a larger, a bigger suffering?
05:51:09.960
I mean, you're going to tell me that tens of millions of men through, maybe it's hundreds of millions of men who have died in warfare is comparable to, we don't, I don't know what the numbers are, but it's less than how many men have been to war and who have been casualties of war.
05:51:32.040
Wait, and I do want to address, somebody made the point of, well, it's men sending other men to war.
05:51:36.120
Actually, if you look at Queens, you look at, uh, monarchies, they did studies and they actually found that Queens were just as likely or more likely to go to war than Kings.
05:51:50.760
So this whole trope of, well, it's men sending men to war.
05:51:53.980
Actually, Queens were just as prepared to send men, men to war.
05:52:00.200
So the whole argument of, well, it's men doing it to other men kind of falls flat in that regard.
05:52:05.600
I'm sure if there's a, if I, I, I am pretty sure if women occupied all positions of government in every single country, I'm pretty sure they're still going to be sending men to war.
05:52:22.400
Actually, in other countries, they send both men and women.
05:52:31.740
What percentage of countries, um, what percentage of countries have only male, uh, conscription?
05:52:41.360
I think you'd also look at the casualties in Israel as well, and you'd see that the vast majority of them were men who were going onto the front lines and women are doing other roles.
05:52:48.860
That goes on to my other point that I don't know if the comparison of oppression could be quantifiable by the amount of deaths.
05:52:56.000
Just because if you look at historically, the oppression for women starts a lot earlier on.
05:53:01.460
Historically, like women weren't taught to read.
05:53:09.200
Upwards of 90% of people were worked in agriculture.
05:53:12.480
Like, most peasants, regardless, most peasants, regardless of your gender, were, like, extremely poor, did not get an education.
05:53:22.020
Even the wealthy, the only, only kids that they sent to school were the sons.
05:53:33.180
Okay, if there's a societal expectation that, like, women are gonna get pregnant and they have to have kids, and that would take them out of the workforce,
05:53:41.400
and your family only has the funds to send one of the son or the daughter, this is before birth control, this is before sanitation, this is before women had access to, like, even tampons.
05:53:57.340
Like, the world looked, like, totally different.
05:54:00.400
And if you had limited resources, and that, granted, I'm in favor of the current social order where women are allowed to go into the workforce.
05:54:09.620
However, in the previous social order, if you only had the resources to send one of your children into the workforce, keep in...
05:54:23.320
If you're a woman and you gave birth, you're the...
05:54:28.580
Your chance of dying during giving birth was much higher back then than it was now.
05:54:33.600
And if the expectation on women was to go and have children and have kids, wouldn't it make sense to invest those resources into someone who didn't have...
05:54:45.460
Wouldn't it make sense to invest those resources and that education into a man who doesn't have the risk of death because of pregnancy?
05:54:55.400
Economical factors might still be a thing, but at the end of the day, that's oppression.
05:55:02.320
Not allowing women to go to school is the definition of oppression.
05:55:07.260
Whether there are these economic factors, whether there's an expectation that there's such a high-level probability that a woman would die at childbirth, these things might contribute to the way society was run.
05:55:18.760
And there are, of course, there are reasons for this oppression.
05:55:26.260
Economic factors were a cause, everything that you stated.
05:55:29.100
That's not incorrect, but that does contribute to this history of oppression.
05:55:33.820
So because now you mentioned education and women who didn't have access to education, that was oppression.
05:55:41.760
Is it, are men currently oppressed because less men go to university?
05:55:48.760
If, if the differential is 60% of degrees are being awarded to women versus 40% of men, is that evidence of sexism and men being oppressed?
05:55:58.340
I think that would require a lot more research.
05:56:00.840
Maybe research has been done on the deciding factors of why those students were admitted and why those percentages, because equality doesn't necessarily mean that we would see 50-50 numbers.
05:56:11.760
Because I'm not sure if a university is looking at two identical applications and they choose to choose a female over a male.
05:56:22.280
And this happens throughout the workforce as well.
05:56:30.960
They're undoubtedly looked at more favorably in applications.
05:56:38.680
I mean, if those are the facts, I haven't seen like research studies on that, then.
05:56:48.120
So let me bring it back to warfare here really quick.
05:56:50.360
So currently in the United States and almost all countries in the world, only men are subject to military conscription.
05:56:57.340
There are, you might say, well, it's been a while since we have had a draft.
05:56:59.860
Well, if you look at the Vietnam War, there are men that would be alive today.
05:57:05.420
They could be in this, they could have been in this room right now.
05:57:09.260
Granted, they would be in, I don't know what, in their 70s, 80s or something.
05:57:13.960
But they would still be alive today had it not been for this very gendered issue of military conscription,
05:57:21.100
which is something that's only inflicted upon men.
05:57:24.780
And there are men who are alive today who have, who are, I'm trying to think, who are paraplegics,
05:57:33.560
who have deformities, who have bad PTSD, like mental scars that you couldn't imagine, saw horrific things,
05:57:41.960
various injuries that are alive today that are suffering.
05:57:45.240
A lot of homeless people, who 80% happen to be men, a lot of homeless people are veterans.
05:57:51.620
So, I mean, you know, this is something that, and to this day, I mean, when it comes to warfare,
05:57:59.620
all men in this country have to register for the selective service, something women don't have to do.
05:58:04.660
And so, to me, when it comes to feminism, it occurs to me that feminism will only secure,
05:58:10.040
if, if equality, feminism will only secure equality if said equality stands to benefit women.
05:58:21.240
So, feminism, to me, is not an equality movement because if said equality could somehow conceivably
05:58:27.960
come to the detriment of women, feminists will not fight tooth and nail for it.
05:58:41.360
But feminists are not fighting for that equality.
05:58:43.600
You only fight for the equality that benefits you.
05:58:46.500
And that's why feminism is not a true egalitarian or equality movement.
05:58:52.180
Well, I think, based on the argument I'm making about sex trafficking,
05:58:56.660
my feminist views are based on bodily autonomy.
05:59:00.620
I think I have to argue for my bodily autonomy first before I can start advocating for other things
05:59:06.020
that I need outside of what's going on right here.
05:59:08.560
If I can't even control what's going on right here within my own body, how do you expect me to fight for something beyond that?
05:59:15.160
Well, the bodily autonomy argument is perfectly applied to the forced military conscription argument.
05:59:30.940
I'm assuming you're talking about abortion, correct?
05:59:33.240
Well, I was going to talk about consent and sex or anything like that.
05:59:37.120
Well, that's not something that's – I mean, I'm thinking of something that's legislated by the government.
05:59:41.940
But depending on your state, you can – as a woman, you can still get an abortion in this country.
05:59:47.440
There are certain states where Roe v. Wade pushed it back down to the states.
05:59:51.140
But, I mean, I think men have a far greater bodily autonomy argument to be made when it comes, again, to forced military conscription.
06:00:00.060
Every single male in this country, by law, is required to register for the Selective Service.
06:00:05.620
And every male in this country, depending on their age, is potentially subject to being forced to go and fight and to go and die.
06:00:14.760
And no offense to you, but I would argue that's a bigger bodily autonomy concern than abortion.
06:00:25.340
Are you with or against military, or do you have an opinion on that state?
06:00:30.040
You cannot – I don't think you can get rid of the draft.
06:00:34.120
So I'm not – I think we should equalize the draft.
06:00:38.560
I think women should be subject to military conscription because there's just –
06:00:48.320
Like, instead of being just like, oh, let's have equal – like, where do you stand on –
06:00:54.640
But, like, if – you can never get rid of the draft because there's conceivably some scenario where you would need a draft.
06:01:08.120
We should just remove this concept that we can never abolish the draft.
06:01:11.680
What feminists need to start doing is fighting for women to be subject to military conscription.
06:01:18.020
To add on to that, you might think, well, there's not going to be a draft, blah, blah, blah.
06:01:22.140
If men don't register for selective service, it's a felony.
06:01:27.900
If you don't register, you could face certain penalties, like you won't be eligible for certain federal benefits.
06:01:37.160
There's a few others that aren't coming to me immediately.
06:01:41.640
But, again, if we're going to have a bodily autonomy discussion, we absolutely need to consider the lack of men's bodily autonomy.
06:01:53.920
I don't know how many 18-year-old men there are.
06:02:00.120
10,000 of those are probably around your age cohorts from 18 to 21.
06:02:04.480
They've all had to register for the selective service.
06:02:06.760
If they want to vote, that's another thing I forgot.
06:02:09.720
So that's certainly a lot of men locally who you know who don't really have bodily autonomy.
06:02:16.160
But I don't see feminists really fighting for an equalization of that.
06:02:22.040
I feel like feminists are fighting for equal rights and focusing on getting females
06:02:30.360
And so one day, maybe in the future, but we have to get there.
06:02:37.160
But I think there's just issues that we're working on right now.
06:02:39.620
And maybe one day in the future, once we've achieved these issues, then this bigger issue can be talked about.
06:02:44.980
You think in the future women or feminists are going to start advocating –
06:02:49.360
like, they'll be in the streets with pussy hats saying,
06:02:55.740
Well, you guys are bringing up two contradictory opinions when you say you want women to stay at home
06:03:05.780
I'm talking about earlier in this conversation.
06:03:07.760
You guys had such strong ideals about how a woman, like, needs to be the nurturer for the child.
06:03:14.140
I just said I don't think a woman's career makes her more physically –
06:03:18.700
like, makes her more attractive as a potential mate.
06:03:25.660
You'd want to protect them if you stay at home.
06:03:28.100
If that is my preference, and if they do take that role upon themselves,
06:03:33.160
then I would be willing to go to war, for example.
06:03:39.640
Back in that day, people were having kids at 18, 19, 20.
06:03:43.500
These women who – many men had the same exact values like you did.
06:03:52.080
It makes sense for the guys to go out in war if a man has this –
06:03:55.920
If a man has this opinion that the woman should stay at home, nurture the kid, raise the kid, you know?
06:04:00.520
So that way he has something to come home to when he's back.
06:04:02.840
But then again, like, I'm saying that I'd be happy to do that and to have that gender inequality if that was the case
06:04:12.220
But you guys are saying that you don't want to play your role in the gender equality spectrum.
06:04:17.020
If we're talking about traditional gender roles, but you want us to play our role.
06:04:22.420
If it's warfare, it's a different story because I think my opinion on the matter would change based on circumstance personally for me.
06:04:31.360
For example, if there was a war going on and was being drafted and let's say I had a husband, right, and I had a child,
06:04:40.040
Whether it's me or my husband, we have to make the decision.
06:04:41.880
Who's staying at home and going to take care of the child?
06:04:43.540
That's why they say in times of warfare, people go back to their traditional roles.
06:04:46.780
In terms of warfare, I would revert back to my traditional.
06:04:56.640
No, you're, yes, you're a feminist in peacetime.
06:05:18.640
Have you seen that meme where someone's like a lady cleaning the dishes and it says like
06:06:09.160
Now, one, and keep in mind, for the vast majority of human history, men, the vast majority of
06:06:15.940
It was a very small period, very small period of human history.
06:06:18.960
I think about 100 years, maybe, maybe less than that, where more men, a gradual increase
06:06:26.920
of more men having the right to vote than women.
06:06:31.200
One of the primary reasons why that was is we were getting involved in these very, like,
06:06:42.320
The way that men got the right to vote before women is because men were subject to military
06:06:47.000
conscription while women were not, which in my view is a privilege.
06:06:50.520
It's a female privilege to not be subject to go be forced onto a battlefield and go, again,
06:06:55.360
go get trench foot, go get chemical gas, go get a shell through your fucking skull.
06:07:00.440
I think it's a privilege that women got to stay home.
06:07:04.900
In 19, let's say you're, it's 1914, you're an 18-year-old.
06:07:12.600
Would you prefer to be an 18-year-old man or an 18-year-old woman in France or in Germany
06:07:25.360
I think that a lot of guys had, they felt honored to fight for their country.
06:07:43.340
World War I was the most, up until that point, was, and you could actually argue in some ways,
06:07:51.900
The trench warfare, you know, these men were on the front lines for months.
06:08:10.900
Your ears are ringing because you've been bombarded with shells for months on end.
06:08:26.100
And this whole trope of military glory, that's what the propagandist wants.
06:08:30.860
That's what the, I don't know if patriots are the right word.
06:08:37.820
The reality is warfare is brutal in ways you cannot imagine.
06:08:48.240
And the horrors of war cannot be, the horrors of war just cannot be, what's the word I'm looking for?
06:09:01.760
If anybody wants to see what's going on in Ukraine at the moment, I'll send you some telegram.
06:09:05.280
They tell men that there's glory in war, but the reality is when you're freezing cold in the trenches in Amiens or in the Ardennes or the Argonne Forest in France,
06:09:16.300
and you've been fighting Germans for fucking nine months, and you've got chemical burns from the chemical gas, you've got trench foot, you've haven't seen, you've seen three-fourths of your military comrades killed in action,
06:09:32.640
you've got ringing tinnitus, I'm sorry, but like, yes, that is...
06:09:42.780
I was going to say, you've replaced our voices.
06:09:46.560
We're not going to talk because we are so tired.
06:09:54.480
I swear, I swear, I swear, I swear, I swear, I swear, I swear, I promise, I promise, I promise.
06:09:57.980
Wait, wait, last thing, last thing, last thing.
06:09:59.360
Modern day, modern day, last thing, last thing.
06:10:02.880
Last thing, last thing, last thing, last thing, last thing.
06:10:14.240
Upon birth, upon, literally 30 seconds, trust me.
06:10:18.280
When it comes to bodily autonomy, every single, every single, not, I shouldn't say every single,
06:10:24.480
most men in this country are circumcised upon birth.
06:10:28.740
They don't have the choice, that, that should be something that they should be able to consent
06:10:33.020
to, they, they don't have consent, they're, they're infants, they're, they have their genitals
06:10:38.440
mutilated, I know you're laughing, I'm sure it's funny to you, that, that all these, these
06:10:43.060
boys in this country, in various other countries, have their genitals mutilated without their
06:10:47.160
consent on birth, but, that's, let's have a conversation about bodily autonomy.
06:10:52.720
Those are two ways that men don't have bodily autonomy.
06:10:55.660
I'll leave it at that, I don't think you want to respond, I'm going to wrap up the show.
06:10:59.140
All right, guys, whoo, good times, guys, twitch.tv slash whatever, drop us a follow, drop us a
06:11:07.360
All right, guys, last call, hit the like button, please, on your, we don't have any chats, right,
06:11:12.500
We're good, okay, we're, we're good on chats, um, wait, you sure?
06:11:17.200
Yeah, we're good, okay, guys, last call, hit the, what?
06:11:20.120
No, that's, okay, last call, hit the like button, please, on your way out, thank you for tuning
06:11:23.840
in tonight, you can have been anywhere in the world, but you're here with me, I appreciate
06:11:27.920
Thank you to everyone, you can hide that, Nick.
06:11:29.780
Thank you to everyone who super chats, donates, and supports the show, any girls who want to
06:11:34.680
If you can make it to Santa Barbara, thank you to the wonderful panel tonight, um, that
06:11:40.080
was, it was a good conversation, I'm sure I made a lot of friends there with that last
06:11:43.100
30, 30 minutes, um, thank you, thank you guys to the panel, I know we went a little late,
06:11:48.780
O7's in the chat, we will, oh, guys, we're going to be live on Thursday, got a big guest
06:11:54.220
coming Thursday, be sure to tune in Thursday, we're doing two shows on Thursday, uh, midday
06:11:59.960
Okay, guys, O7's in the chat, goodnight, guys, we'll see you next time.