In this episode of the Whatever Dating Talk podcast, we have our first guest on the show, Alissa, a student at UC Santa Barbara, and Missy, a 36-year-old health care entrepreneur from Kingston, Ontario.
04:02:25.720then she could say you and kill you yeah does that change anything still still the i could fight
04:02:33.320her off what if she does jujitsu yes and i you know i had a i have a little bit of boxing experience
04:02:40.840what about okay i just how about um what about a man who's dressed as a bear versus a bear
04:02:47.240i feel there's gonna be obvious difference unless the costume's really good man what about you
04:02:55.320the man why does the costume change it well they look the same i i guys by the way i have terrible
04:03:01.880vision so i probably won't even be able to tell my vision is terrible um it's the man in the bear
04:03:10.520costume is like okay yeah so man who's dressed as bear random man random man and okay furry i guess
04:03:16.760yeah yeah but what kind of bear costume too you know
04:03:24.920it makes me think twice just because i'm like does he have a mental instability because he's dressed as
04:03:30.040a bear and is he really going to just like i agree with that he's gonna want to protect you yeah
04:03:34.920just the man okay and then all right we're gonna move on uh really quick guys go to twitch.tv
04:03:41.480slash whatever drop us a follow drop us a prime sub if you're watching over there appreciate it guys
04:03:45.640uh let me do a couple of the chats uh bring it back to hold on can i have you read this one
04:03:54.760woman chico choose the man let him have his way with you so when you inevitably run into a predator
04:04:01.320any way you can expect him to take you take the hypothetical bullet and die protecting good wow
04:04:08.120okay um thank you thank you nicolette uh i'll touch on that one too really quick actually uh
04:04:18.440would you want a man that you were dating to sacrifice his life for you take a bullet for you
04:04:25.960or no hold on let me reframe it would you not be willing to date a guy
04:04:34.040who was unwilling wait hold on is this a double negative now i think so wait hold on would you
04:04:40.600or would you not date a guy who was unwilling to say down the road uh say when you're in love you've
04:04:47.720been dating for a while even married who would be unwilling to sacrifice his life for you say in the
04:04:53.800hypothetical scenario he can take the bullet or you can take the bullet but he wasn't willing to take
04:05:00.200the bullet for you would you date that man um i think i would expect him to protect me in that way
04:05:08.280if we've been dating for a long time yeah okay like it would you so you would not date the guy who
04:05:16.520was unwilling to take a bullet for you yeah but i wouldn't expect him to do that if we were only dating
04:05:21.480for like a couple months you know okay like it's like something down the road okay so like a year
04:05:32.680i don't think i would expect him to do that like sacrifice his life for me after dating for a year
04:05:39.160i would want him to but i wouldn't expect it hmm i wonder let me ask you a follow-up question
04:05:49.000he doesn't have to sacrifice his life but he does have to do something and in order to protect you
04:05:57.320he ends up with a um not it wouldn't be a life or death scenario but he ends up with
04:06:05.480uh is it is this one out of focus nick the one that's on her i'll change it uh
04:06:11.640i'm trying to think he like a disability yeah like i don't know he like vegetative or he loses a
04:06:21.720he loses a leg yeah what what's the question he loses he loses a leg to prevent you from losing a
04:06:31.400leg leg for life and what's the question yeah i don't know like there's like would she continue
04:06:38.120dating him even though he's disabled is that what you're saying there's a car coming there's a car
04:06:42.120coming and like you're in the street and had if he doesn't grab you move you out of the way your leg
04:06:47.640gets crushed but if he grabs you and moves you out of the way his leg gets crushed what's the question
04:06:54.280so which if the guy was unwilling to do that would you date him like to make that sacrifice god this
04:07:01.480i don't know if this makes sense um what do you mean no it wasn't your fault go ahead and answer the
04:07:09.160question that's like a hard question i i would be willing to date him still yeah
04:07:20.920uh well you're saying like we're in love yes i would be willing to date him
04:07:24.440if he wouldn't no way if he wouldn't yeah i that's i really don't care that much about that
04:07:31.880i mean of course like it's a nice thought that he would like you know die for you or whatever but
04:07:37.000like i would do the same for my family i if he doesn't want to i i just it's not on my top priority
04:07:43.400i guess so like you would date someone who would sit there and watch you get your leg destroyed or
04:07:47.960mauled by and not attempt it's just literally for that reason exactly because i know i would
04:07:53.960do the same thing i would not be dating that person anymore like if you're not the same dedication and
04:07:59.560like to save me so or whatever we save each other i don't know i just think in that kind of a
04:08:05.320situation like people have all kinds of different reactions and do you have a problem with me like
04:08:11.800speaking no because she she went into the same she went into her reasons you guys are asking me
04:08:17.480questions so i just will not answer anything that's fine no just okay i answered my question
04:08:22.520yes i would be willing to date him still i said that if he wasn't willing to take a bullet for you yes
04:08:28.120i said no you wouldn't okay i wouldn't be willing to date someone who isn't willing to take a bullet
04:08:33.640for me because i don't think willingness has to do with like capability if that makes sense like
04:08:41.800say like in my relationship i appreciate that frankie and i would both be willing to die for each
04:08:46.680other but when it comes to in terms of capability like we've discussed that he'd be more capable
04:08:54.200to be mentally stronger to live on and take care of our children
04:08:59.080if that makes sense i don't know if that makes sense but
04:09:03.160i feel like i wouldn't if i was in a place where i felt like i would be willing to take a bullet for
04:09:07.880them and they weren't willing to take a bullet for me then we wouldn't be at the same level of i
04:09:12.200guess love or dedication to one another so i would stop i would i wouldn't take a bullet for
04:09:17.640someone personally so i wouldn't expect it or you wouldn't i wouldn't so i wouldn't like you wouldn't
04:09:21.800expect it i wouldn't expect them to do it for me okay and you want to be a cop
04:09:24.680i would not date a man that's not willing to sacrifice any and at any of those levels for me
04:09:38.760and i think my boyfriend day one would have still jumped in front of a car or whatever he walks on
04:09:44.840the side of the street that's closer to cars i expect that um with reciprocated okay honor and
04:09:52.120respect to him yeah but see like i so the reasoning for the boyfriend walking closer to the side of
04:09:59.160the road is what protection is sidewalk rule from a car he's the one that's what so okay you would
04:10:05.960want the van drives up to you and snatches you because you're on the side of the road okay
04:10:10.040or if someone runs he's in between me and the thing that's most likely to cause harm so you'd
04:10:14.200want the guy to like get run over by the car versus you he'd be in a better position to protect you from
04:10:18.440that i want the sacrifice of him getting run over instead correct correct obviously i would hate
04:10:24.520that but i wouldn't want to be with a man who wouldn't do that now going back around this way to
04:10:28.760the table do you think it would be like less attract maybe uh you would still date the guy but would
04:10:34.920it be less attractive and would he be less masculine if he was unwilling to sacrifice his life
04:10:42.200for his girlfriend wife whatever it may be yeah that's unattractive no don't care at all okay yeah
04:10:49.400i think it'd be less attractive less attractive i think it would be less masculine actually i don't
04:10:54.280know because like it doesn't make me more masculine that i'm willing to take a bullet for
04:10:59.560the person that i love doesn't it it was attractive or not attractive
04:11:02.360yeah yeah sure it's unattractive but i don't think it's like you should expect it from like
04:11:08.440the start yeah of dating it's less attractive
04:11:15.640i don't know if you heard the question what was the question uh would it be a man who is unwilling
04:11:21.240to sacrifice his life for you is it would you view him as less attractive or less masculine
04:11:27.000maybe slightly not fulfilling his role um as like a protector but i i don't know i
04:11:37.240maybe because i've been independent for so long i take on that role more myself so i just don't see
04:11:42.120it as like a deal breaker but yes maybe a little i don't see myself ever being in the position to like
04:11:50.360sacrifice my life for a man so i feel like it's kind of a double standard to expect him to do that for
04:11:56.200me if i'm not willing to do it for him so at the end of the day like i don't see that as less
04:12:02.760attractive okay fair enough fair enough i don't know if we go full into this condo here if i reveal
04:12:10.520my position on it yeah we youtube video the tweets are out because well you can yeah um we're not going
04:12:21.160to do the youtube video was there something else we were going to pull up i'm trying to remember
04:12:26.840nah uh we need to do well i mean on this note um
04:12:33.880i think it's actually so if you're a woman and you're like a traditional woman and you want a guy
04:12:38.840to protect you i think that's totally valid but if you're not a traditional woman you can't be demanding
04:12:43.400a man to be you can't be like upset if a guy wouldn't be willing to uh risk his life not risk
04:12:51.240his uh life for you yeah even if you would do the same for him but like it's crazy to me because like
04:13:00.360those of you who answered bear like you'd want a guy to you'd want your boyfriend to sacrifice his life
04:13:05.880for you but y'all pick bear over man well this is your boyfriend that like you love and like you're
04:13:11.640devoted to and it's not a random yeah exactly not a random man i would go as far to say that i would
04:13:16.360expect a man on a first date to act in that way so to sacrifice his life on a first date on a very
04:13:21.480first i would let me ask you a question explain a bit further but i'll i have a follow-up like i would
04:13:26.920expect a man to step in and be a protector in any scenario if that even if it means losing his life
04:13:37.400on the first date yeah interesting now let me ask you a question though so we heard from her earlier
04:13:43.880that she went on 30 dates in one uh in one month time she sometimes she even went on two dates in a day
04:13:50.680um now do you think that a man knowing that you know for example let's say she she went on a date
04:13:58.920with a guy it was the lunch date and that man knew that right afterwards she was going on a dinner date
04:14:05.560that very night with a different man do you think that a man in that situation should sacrifice his life
04:14:13.000for a woman who's dating multiple other men at the same time um i don't think it necessarily has to
04:14:19.720do anything with like a romantic relationship it's more of a man's role in a man's um oh so
04:14:26.920he should do it for a stranger even yes a man should even sacrifice his life for a total stranger yes
04:14:31.640let me ask you a question you're in a relationship right yes uh your boyfriend would it be
04:14:38.040i'm so glad i'm not dating donated two hundred dollars if i was married to a hormonal
04:14:44.200raging entitled non-submissive three hundred and four if someone attacked us and it was life or
04:14:51.000death i would shoot her in the chest so the attacker didn't have to live with the pain
04:14:56.760okay that makes a lot of sense so you had thank you i'm so glad i'm not dating good to see in the
04:15:01.400chat if you had a boyfriend or you sir excuse me you currently have a boyfriend yes you've been dating
04:15:06.920for 1.5 years you would want let's say you do you want to have children with this guy one day
04:15:14.520let's say you have kids right would you want him to potentially in let's say he saw some conflict
04:15:19.240going on and he was going to do the heroic thing try to get involved he actually ends up dying by
04:15:23.640trying to break up this conflict try to say it was a woman he was trying to save a woman would that be
04:15:28.760worse or would that be better or worse for your family for him to go and die but do the heroic thing
04:15:34.840um it'd be heartbreaking but i actually you would and i'm very confident that he would do that you
04:15:42.440would but you would still well let's fine let's say he would do that so he's in the service
04:15:49.640that's another point like military people are doing that every single day for strangers and that's
04:15:54.680kind of like the one of the talking about a different context here but so that would no we
04:16:00.920would not be better off without him okay that's the answer but you would still desire for him to do
04:16:05.720that i think for the protection of someone else yeah i think that that is a heart level commitment
04:16:16.600and thank you during huh i'm thinking somebody don't worry about it okay um yeah i just i think that
04:16:24.120that that would be what would happen and i know that and so hopefully lord willing that never
04:16:30.600happens but i know that going into our relationship that that's the kind of man that he is he would
04:16:35.640so just going like accepting that you know i'm also accepting him going to fight if he has to
04:16:41.400for our country for people who don't give a rip about what he's fighting for so where's your boyfriend
04:16:46.200deployed is he deployed you said he's in the military yeah he has been where was he was he in
04:16:52.040afghanistan i'm not sharing information okay but yeah is he really def i mean is he really
04:16:59.000defending i don't i don't think i need to have a military company yeah i don't i don't want to share
04:17:03.800more information but he's definitely been in dangerous situations and but okay on the micro
04:17:10.600level i absolutely like support individual soldiers on the macro level frankly a lot of these wars that
04:17:17.240we're involved in have absolutely nothing to do with the defense of america or the people of america
04:17:23.640we've wasted i don't know was it trillions of dollars in the middle east for what we were in vietnam for
04:17:30.280what we get we were involved in all these conflicts for what so it's not clear to me at least in more
04:17:37.080modern military conflicts if uh these men are really protecting
04:17:46.120well at least that's the idea that they're given right that's what are they protecting the nation
04:17:50.360or hold on or i'm sorry sorry here mason yeah or but or is it in the interest of the oligarchs
04:18:00.280and the people that have you know the military industrial complex who have an interest in you know
04:18:06.040there's financial component yeah there's i think what she was speaking to is the sentiment behind
04:18:10.840it and there's so many things that i would say are like amazing about the military but
04:18:15.640i do respect so much our country in the way that we are protected in a general sense i am not saying
04:18:23.960it's perfect by any means and i don't really want to like dive deeper into that but i'm really
04:18:29.240really really grateful no but i think look on the micro level the soldiers i think they all have
04:18:34.520good intentions and that's what they want they want to protect their nation they want to protect
04:18:39.160you know but i think the military conflicts on the macro level that we find ourselves in
04:18:45.000it doesn't really now in the future we could be we could be involved in something a righteous war
04:18:51.480i mean there's some debate there but i'm not the most the more recent military conflicts i'm like
04:18:57.880are we just really brutalizing these people in these countries i don't know i don't know if you
04:19:04.040want to weigh in on this mason i mean you're joining the military yeah so i guess speaking to uh more
04:19:10.360recent conflicts the experience that has been i guess relayed by the people who've been over there
04:19:18.040the enemy that we were fighting in most of these recent conflicts mid in the middle east were
04:19:23.640absolutely like monsters of human beings so i mean like hanging dead corpses into the in the streets
04:19:31.640and uh there was oh gosh well i can't remember his name one of um i hate i hate that i don't
04:19:38.520know saddam hussein not saddam hussein it was like his um uh his underling what is his name he was he was
04:19:44.760like a more active in the uh terrorist scene he was like the uh one of the main leaders you're not
04:19:51.080talking about bin laden are you no no no not bin laden uh no it wasn't saddam's underling it was
04:19:57.480i think he was associated with bin laden i cannot remember his name for the life of me but anyway
04:20:02.600just absolutely uh probably tortured and killed hunting tens of thousands of people so um i mean
04:20:09.720there there is yeah okay there are uh motivations by people in our government that are not
04:20:16.280not altruistic and great but there is very good work being done and especially um the uh the part
04:20:24.760of the military that i want to go into the special warfare community uh the vast majority of those guys
04:20:31.560are like men's men usually pretty conservative traditional guys who they get sent on the missions
04:20:39.400where they are protecting a whole lot of people that do not have protection uh i that speaks very true
04:20:46.520to what i want to do i want to be that kind of guy i want to have that kind of training um especially for
04:20:53.000the future fight when our vision is now set on china russia um yeah two nations that are very opposed to
04:21:04.680america in general how we prioritize freedom over security uh but to i'm just gonna move it on i'm
04:21:13.720just gonna move it on but i mean just to bring it back to the original question was so like for
04:21:17.400example how she's going on 30 dates with you know you went on 30 first dates if i recall correctly in
04:21:22.360a while i did yeah yeah you went i was meeting people you occasionally went on right but like let's
04:21:28.040let's phrase it correctly though i was meeting people they were first dates i wasn't dating multiple
04:21:33.160men like a serial dater okay fine that's what you're like you know some of the men you're
04:21:37.800posturing no well it's kind of i mean i was this characterization is a bit we're not yeah you're
04:21:43.560kind of like weaponizing information how am i weaponizing it's like it's it's making it out to
04:21:49.720be like this like these women that are dating all of these men all at one time and should men really
04:21:55.160even be like protecting them and you know i i'm of the opinion yeah like a man that i met for a first
04:22:01.000date i have no expectations of him i could be a perfect stranger you know to to him and vice versa
04:22:06.760right so the i mean the point i'm arguing though the point i'm arguing though is that like as a woman
04:22:12.920in order for you to be to feel like you're entitled to this extreme sacrifice on the man's part
04:22:20.920uh i think you should be trying to move in like a so okay men's hold on you asked me about my early
04:22:27.240date i don't think so but hold on but we can get back into that but so there's so a man willing to
04:22:34.120sacrifice his life for a woman would be the ultimate form of chivalry there is no greater
04:22:39.800sacrifice a man can make than to lay down his life for a woman so what is the so okay if there's this
04:22:47.000expect excuse me expectation on men to be chivalrous there ought to be a corresponding expectation on
04:22:53.640women to be ladies and i would argue in order to be a late a respectable lady to be deserving of a man
04:23:02.760to sacrifice his life for you you certainly can't be dating multiple men at the same time even going
04:23:10.520just on first multiple first dates so in this scenario with her if i was on a first date with a woman
04:23:17.880and i was inclined to sacrifice my life for a woman i would advise a man that it would be ludicrous to
04:23:23.880sacrifice your life for a woman who has a date planned with another man right after you you're
04:23:31.080not getting you're gonna do the ultimate chivalrous thing die for her and she's gonna see another guy
04:23:39.720later that night that would be crazy to me but under your uh your framework you think a guy should die
04:23:45.400for a woman who's gonna go date another guy that night is that your position so just answer the
04:23:50.680question do you think he should still die under those circumstances yes can i give more info
04:23:57.880so your answer is yes yes go ahead okay so i also to put it into more of like my mindset is um
04:24:05.720like we do this whole i had this whole you know epiphany kind of thing in college we had this like
04:24:10.120active shooter um scenario training in one of my classes and they talked about like how you i mean
04:24:19.080basically like you should be willing to jump on that shooter the man the men no just anyone so i
04:24:24.920would i was thinking through they're like whoever's closest to the door they're coming in the door
04:24:28.200the best way to stop the active shooter is to attack that person and so i was like dang like that
04:24:33.000is crazy like that's such a challenge like i don't know if i could do that blah blah but like
04:24:36.440it really got into my head and i thought about it a lot and i'm like man i could i could protect the
04:24:42.040other people that are there i'm the closest person there like what am i gonna do like that is this
04:24:46.040isn't really relevant i'm just saying that i would want to do the same thing so the man no matter who
04:24:51.960the girl's going on a date with afterward he should still should still do it because if i were in that
04:24:57.160position i'm not going to be like wait are you a felon wait like are you yeah whatever you can't know
04:25:01.320everybody's history wait so do you hold yourself to that same stage right but like let's let's zoom
04:25:06.840out yeah and like let's let's just actually analyze it if we know all the facts should a man here i'll
04:25:13.880just i'll just give you the extreme example and see where like see where there's logical consistency
04:25:19.080here let's assume that man's going on the first date with a girl and she's currently sleeping with
04:25:23.400three other men if we're zoomed out and we're doing an analysis on that situation should the man then
04:25:29.800sacrifice his life for a woman who's currently having sexual intercourse with three other men
04:25:34.840i think that's kind of insane let her answer the question
04:25:40.680she's coming from an unbiased place she's coming from a place of human to human yeah like she's not
04:25:45.800putting labels or you know you're putting a label on the man that he needs to act in a certain way he
04:25:52.520needs to sacrifice his life i'm putting the we sacrifice our lives as women too by having children
04:25:57.800child okay that's we have one of the highest like maternal death we're getting into a logical
04:26:03.240fallacy here that's a it's not a fallacy yes what about ism what about us women who have to
04:26:09.240sacrifice in this other way that's totally unrelated to the scenario i'm giving it's life
04:26:13.880still many women die in childbirth of all the men that you've had first dates with did you have
04:26:18.840children with every single one of those men no and i also didn't sleep with every single one of
04:26:23.720those men and i also didn't right but she's making the argument that a man even on the first date
04:26:30.280he should sacrifice his life for that woman she's coming from an unbiased perspective
04:26:37.320that i'm not really following but so even in the scenario i painted the woman is sleeping with three
04:26:43.000other men should the man lay down his life for that woman i think a respectable man still would so okay so
04:26:49.000and is a man sacrificing his life for a woman chivalrous yep okay so why do you have this why do
04:26:57.160men have to be chivalrous for i would would you agree with me that a woman who's currently sleeping
04:27:03.720with three men and going on a first date with this new guy would you consider that the the uh
04:27:09.640what's the right word the there's no there's not chivalry there's not chivalry yeah there's not
04:27:15.640chivalry for one would that be ladylike of her no so are women who are not ladylike deserving of
04:27:20.920chivalry yes why because i believe in grace and i also like but why wouldn't women have grace for
04:27:27.640men in that scenario that's crazy because you're you're literally saying well men should have grace
04:27:33.240for women and men should have this role in society where it's their natural inclination to provide and
04:27:37.560protect and and lay down their life when there's no expectation on the women to do the same to have
04:27:43.640i have expectations for women i like i have expectations for everyone in this scenario in
04:27:48.920the scenario no go ahead no in this scenario she's sleeping with three men so she's not
04:27:54.920meeting that expectation and yet there is the expectation on the man that's what i'm saying
04:28:00.120and i agree with this point listen there's a lot of things i don't agree with but i totally agree with
04:28:03.800the fact that you cannot expect a man to be a gentleman if you are not behaving as a lady and i have
04:28:09.560learned that lesson the hard way so you believe in she's asking for it kind of things like like if
04:28:15.960she because you're like are you talking about essay like you're like oh if she's not acting like a
04:28:20.680lady then a man doesn't have to act like a gentleman that has nothing to do with that okay
04:28:25.240it's extreme take it's extreme take but anyway you're warping i know you're completely warping
04:28:29.240what she said okay she asked a question i'm sorry but that's a crazy question to ask based on what i
04:28:35.240am saying that's like such a far leap so if she's sleeping with three guys you think she deserves
04:28:39.640to die what i never said she deserves to die but in this scenario there's a car coming okay i'm not
04:28:45.240saying that she doesn't expect a chivalrous man she shouldn't expect him why would a man give up his
04:28:50.520entire life his his existence on this beautiful planet for a woman who doesn't give a shit enough to date
04:28:56.920only him that's crazy i'm sorry i i believe you so i so i agree with you like personally i would give my
04:29:04.600life for one regardless no mason well no no it's because i'm a man of extreme conviction yeah but
04:29:14.040most men are not men of extreme conviction it's very much like why would i why would i be chivalrous
04:29:21.080to a woman who is not going to be a lady for me like it there is so much effort that's being put on
04:29:27.800me so much expectation as a man but there is very little expectation upon a woman and listen i
04:29:34.440think a man if he is following the true like traditional masculine path i think he should
04:29:39.480have the inclination but he should have the self-respect to know like hey i'm not being
04:29:43.800treated with reciprocity here there is not a woman who is meeting this expectation as a lady and
04:29:49.400therefore that's insane to give up my fucking existence on this beautiful planet for a woman
04:29:55.160who doesn't give a shit about me that goes both ways and he should have the inclination but that
04:30:00.200doesn't mean that it's right for him to do it listen i feel all the time i think of these active
04:30:05.000shooter situations i feel like i jump in front of a bullet for fucking anybody because i'm a caring
04:30:09.080nurturing loving person but i'm telling you when it's on a date like i don't understand why women
04:30:14.280are expecting men to open doors pay the bill and show up and do all these things when women are out
04:30:19.800there texting 5 000 men at the same time setting up all these different dates and sleeping with all
04:30:24.440these different okay but let's not demonize women men are doing it too like i said we're not
04:30:29.640we're talking we're not right open the door is not that serious men are dogs listen men are dogs
04:30:35.560too but we're talking about in this scenario the expectation that's on men versus women we're not
04:30:41.560talking about how men i know men who've slept around listen every time that i slept around with
04:30:46.040a man there was a man waiting right there to exploit my brokenness so yes i know what you're saying
04:30:50.280but what i'm saying is i didn't act like a lady so they didn't act like gentlemen and i shouldn't
04:30:54.600have expected them so then you feel like you deserved it because of that or what i think that i
04:30:59.160i think that i was not behaving in a way that if you're not if you're not a lady why do you
04:31:04.280you're not going to be treated like a man to be a gentleman yeah that's it don't aren't obligated
04:31:09.160it's wrong life for strangers and they're not obligated to open doors and do all these things for you
04:31:13.800they do it because they want to do it for a lady who who cares for them who is willing to put in the
04:31:18.920same effort on her end maybe in a different capacity because she's a woman and not a man
04:31:23.960but i'm saying it's supposed to be a mutual thing here it's not supposed to be men do this amazing
04:31:28.600chivalrous thing all the time and take care of us and treat us well and and and yet women can do
04:31:34.440whatever the hell they want i don't think i don't want to propose that either though i don't think
04:31:38.680that it's been shifted towards though i think it's just crazy that you can sit here and say that
04:31:46.200there there would be an expectation on a man to def to sacrifice his life ultimate chivalry for a
04:31:54.120woman who's just totally degenerate who's a total degenerate who's not a lady who's not moving in a
04:32:03.320traditional way who's currently having sexual intercourse with three other men how like i don't
04:32:09.240understand the logic like he should have the inclination as the man like yes i have this inclination
04:32:14.680as my natural masculinity i do want to provide and protect but like if we are never going to
04:32:19.800progress as a society if we don't look at how both of us have a responsibility to act in a certain way
04:32:25.720towards one another you can't expect something from one gender do you want to respond to anything
04:32:31.640yeah i mean i just i get like i see i see your point of view it's unfair i think and i just okay i
04:32:39.960yeah i see your point of view jesus walked this planet and literally went and talked to prostitutes
04:32:48.680tax collectors all of the sinners in the streets right yeah and he did not hesitate to die for all
04:32:55.880of humanity yeah so this is if you guys are talking about like christianity biblical values things like
04:33:01.560that where literally you know but jesus didn't marry the prostitutes and he he saved them through
04:33:08.280great we're not talking about anybody marrying anybody right if you didn't if you didn't jump
04:33:12.120in front of a car with this relationship scenario if you didn't jump in front of a car i wouldn't i
04:33:16.680wouldn't like hold that against you you know like i still my point what about the bullet the bullet the
04:33:21.720bullet if you didn't jump in front of the bullet for some random girl you just went on a date for
04:33:25.400i wouldn't be like that you wouldn't be dinged as a man yeah i would just be like that's a crazy
04:33:30.440situation a lot yeah a lot of women do want a man who'd be willing to sacrifice themselves for them
04:33:37.480and i do too but i wouldn't right i i just wouldn't like berate you for that decision if you didn't
04:33:44.760right jump in front of a car a bullet or whatever would it change if that man's like your dad or your
04:33:49.960brother i would expect my dad if my dad didn't jump in front of a bullet yeah i wouldn't expect i
04:33:56.280i wouldn't expect a boyfriend but i would expect my dad yeah yeah exactly it ultimately just comes
04:34:01.160down to this right so i get your point though i really do right so there's you have non-traditional
04:34:07.000women who demand and expect and feel entitled to traditional treatment from men now the bullet one's
04:34:14.760an extreme example although there's even non-traditional women who are prepared to demand the ultimate
04:34:20.120traditional treatment the ultimate sacrifice for men but on a more realistic scale you'll have
04:34:25.480non-traditional women who demand men be generally be protectors generally be providers pay for first
04:34:32.440aids open car doors be chivalrous but they're not the there's no reciprocity there they're not doing
04:34:39.000anything traditional so that's kind of my criticism is that you have this demand that men be traditional
04:34:46.440but y'all want to be modern women y'all want but you're throwing general like i feel like those are
04:34:51.800outliers too no it's not no it's not it's actually not an outlier because look at how many people say
04:34:56.760they're feminist and then and then they still want a man to pay for the first date like that's that's
04:35:01.560if you are a feminist why are you not splitting the bill it does not make a lick of sense you have
04:35:06.200traditional women that do want traditional treatment from men but on top of that you have a
04:35:10.840whole bunch of modern women who are not traditional at all that still want the exact same things they want
04:35:17.320all the traditional treatment from men i have a question though okay go ahead why are generally
04:35:24.120speaking men feeding into this culture of these modern feminists by subscribing to their only fans
04:35:32.840by sending them money by opening by opening their doors by doing all of these extra things like that's
04:35:39.560also a challenge being a more traditional independent woman and being out on the date scene
04:35:46.040but how do you how do you get to know them without going and on a first date like you gave me a lot of
04:35:51.320heat about being on like 30 different yeah 30 different first dates but how do i get to know
04:35:57.000somebody if i don't meet them you can talk to them for like a day on an app i've told you i talked to them
04:36:02.200on an app and they're completely different in the virtual realm than they are that's something you do
04:36:06.760you can do it one person at a time and it's totally it is one person at a time but i'm getting
04:36:10.920well within a month if there's 30 people it's not one it was in the beginning of my day so passing
04:36:15.800judgment first of all it's just bad i i'm allowed to share my thoughts and opinions whether you like
04:36:21.960it or not okay but you're not supposed to butt in either and let me just like share my view so how are
04:36:28.360you supposed to actually meet yeah so how are you supposed to actually meet people without meeting
04:36:32.760people like i get it hard to date one person at a time so going back to your whole 30 dates but it's
04:36:38.360not like dating all of those people consistently can we all agree that modern dating is not like
04:36:43.800when you say you're dating someone exclusively or even to get to know them that's you're serially
04:36:49.080dating them if you're just putting yourself out there and starting to meet people and see who you
04:36:53.400can possibly have a match or connection with you're meeting them it's not different than going to a
04:36:58.840church event at multiple different churches and meeting different people how is that any different
04:37:03.320okay so explain that phenomenon to me you're specifically you're meeting people okay you're
04:37:08.120creating opportunity to meet someone and speak to them modern dating though and then you're saying you
04:37:12.040expect traditional treatment so like the whole point is you're participating in the modern date modern
04:37:17.080dating we're all participating in modern dating because guess what we can't not be in the modern
04:37:21.480dating scene because it's modern day today there's plenty of people that don't move like that
04:37:27.480that that aren't like right going on that aren't going on 30 date first dates in a month if i was
04:37:34.040if i was encountering a girl and she's like brian i have a date planned for if i was on a date with
04:37:38.680her on saturday brian i have a date for sunday monday tuesday wednesday thursday i'd be like well
04:37:42.600obviously that's not how you deal with that kind of okay so then what if you go to a mixer what if
04:37:47.880you go to a mixer at church for example and there's 30 women there and 30 men there and you meet all
04:37:52.68030 of them and you as a girl how's that different and you as a girl go up to each and it thirsting
04:37:57.720over 30 dudes or the dude how are you thirsting if you're getting to know them that's not like
04:38:02.360that's not unreasonable i'm sorry when you say mixer are you saying like when you say
04:38:06.440there's nothing wrong with getting to know people and meeting people there's nothing wrong with it
04:38:10.280just because i went on 30 dates doesn't mean i was romantically invested in that's crazy it's a
04:38:15.160romantic endeavor that's crazy but 30 dates like going on dates with guys is like a romantic endeavor
04:38:20.120you might not be developing romantic feelings towards the other person because you're turned
04:38:24.280off by something about them it's one day you explore it and then you close the chapter and
04:38:29.240you move on it screams like a desperation for romantic attention like i'm not saying i understand
04:38:35.160exactly where you were in life exactly but the thing is that's the point the thing is
04:38:39.560it's extremely unhealthy regardless of where you were like you were in that situation and you
04:38:46.600responded in an extremely unhealthy way right and then i went through therapy and then i handled all
04:38:51.800those things yeah but it would behoove all of us to not pass judgment on people because of the way
04:38:56.840that they came out there and explored their life there's like we all we all treat judgment as this like
04:39:03.640cuss word people judge all the time people use their judgment but not judge people it is important
04:39:11.000to judge people you need to i judge that this person is a scumbag their character but you don't
04:39:15.640exactly them as a person and they're what is that how is that any different the bible says you judge
04:39:21.400yourself so that you won't be judged at once with the rest of the world right i think you need to read
04:39:26.840that passage in context i've read that entire no it says no i know the passage remove the
04:39:32.120plank from your own passage i know what it is it's matthew chapter seven and actually jesus himself
04:39:37.800commands you to judge in that passage yes later in the passage he tells them you will know them by
04:39:42.280their fruits yes a good tree produce good produces good fruit and a bad tree produces bad fruit right
04:39:48.040and you will know them but you will not judge them because judgment is left for our lord and
04:39:52.600in the very no no no no in the very beginning of that passage he also tells you not to cast your
04:39:57.720pearls before swine do not tell people about your judgment when they're just going to trample all over
04:40:02.840it right so they're productive conversations he commands us to judge he's not saying we are the
04:40:08.520ones who are going to judge people at the end of time that's contextual judging you as a person when
04:40:13.640i'm but judgment is important it's an important part of well that's how it comes off but that's
04:40:18.040your personal perspective can i ask her a question just one sec i will let you come in here really
04:40:23.160quick so okay yeah going on 30 first dates with 30 different men in a period of a month is absolutely
04:40:30.680excessive you're within your right to do it but i would argue most men like if the guys are just
04:40:37.080trying to fuck you they then maybe they don't care no the guys are doing the same thing they're
04:40:40.840trying to meet someone that they can date consistently there's nothing wrong with you think
04:40:45.240most men are capable of going on 30 first dates with 30 different women in one month most men don't
04:40:52.280have that kind of optionality but you as have you ever been in a long term what was your long
04:40:57.640longest term relationship i've dated a girl for five years okay yeah so that was your longest
04:41:02.920relationship sure mine was 14 years how is that relevant at all it's relevant because when you have
04:41:08.040not been out on the dating scene dating is not just about like fucking like you keep saying about sex
04:41:14.200it's not about it's not about that dating is about getting to know people meeting people finding out
04:41:21.160what is your type of person and a potential match so you have to meet people you're not even making
04:41:25.640an argument but the intention is also with romantic interest right versus going to church and meeting
04:41:31.080people at church you're not romantically interested in every single people go to youth convention
04:41:35.640christian youth conventions all the time to hopefully meet their future wives or husbands
04:41:40.040if i'm going to church like i i hope i find my wife at church that'd be awesome but it's not a
04:41:45.560guaranteed i am going to this function to find a potential romantic interest that's why every
04:41:52.280single date is every single date is and that's bad when you go to church that's not the immediate
04:41:58.680intention the immediate intention when you go to church is i'm here to worship god exactly and then
04:42:04.680hopefully maybe i'll find a woman here that also shares the same values that's not that's not the
04:42:09.400purpose of yeah it's not going that's not it shouldn't be however it can quickly become that
04:42:15.080sometimes churches have like singles like clubs and ministries and stuff removing religion from this
04:42:20.680i would argue that yeah like going on if imagine the yeah this is my future wife the first day i met her
04:42:28.760i knew it was love i i i knew i knew she was the one she did go on that date immediately after our
04:42:36.440date with the other guy and who knows how far along they got but yeah like i it's a bad look there's
04:42:43.080impropriety there for you to be going on that many dates i think that's that's your perspective and
04:42:47.720your perception i think it's my perception is i would hope that my person has been out on the dating
04:42:54.200scene has explored all their options by the time they get to me or vice versa we know what we want
04:43:00.280and we know to stay and to invest time and attention to that but can i ask are you a traditional woman
04:43:07.160would you say yes i have five children but that is a non-traditional dating like that yeah that is
04:43:13.160non-traditional dating you are absolutely correct because i lived a very traditional very conservative
04:43:18.760ultra-religious lifestyle but you're saying you're currently still traditional and so just what i'm
04:43:23.400saying is if you participate no i'm a critical thinker and independent i have recreated you said
04:43:28.840yes you were traditional so that's why i'm asking you because that is traditional participating in the
04:43:33.160hookup culture which is what that is if a man ever told me he's got 30 dates lined up you're making
04:43:37.880assumptions that every date was a hookup i never said that you guys are no no that's why they were
04:43:44.920first dates that's why it's so frustrating that you guys are lumping no one is assuming that oh i still
04:43:50.600even if you didn't sleep with any of those i still absolutely would object and that's your opinion
04:43:55.960and you're entitled to it and my opinion is that you should explore there was a girl in here before
04:44:00.680that did something really similar and i don't remember you giving her such backlash i always
04:44:05.320well i always did the girl that was like i didn't date until i was 20 and then she went on a date she's
04:44:09.880like married her number 14 or something like that i there was actually ryan and listen like i really
04:44:15.240like you as a person i'm not attacking you and like i don't i don't remember so like how far
04:44:20.840how far in advance would you plan these dates say with like for the whole entire month no just day by
04:44:25.720day or absolutely i mean you're matching you're getting to know somebody you're like okay let's
04:44:30.520meet like i'm not the person that's also gonna create like a textationship because like i said i had
04:44:36.520i started learning really quickly someone's going to present a certain way electronically
04:44:40.600and they're going to be probably very different and it took me a while to hack the system and figure
04:44:45.720out and filter out like how many total first dates do you think you've gone on in the past
04:44:51.000you said the start i don't know i i i don't know but i met people out on the scene
04:44:55.480gone over on over 100 first dates does it matter does it matter because i found someone that actually
04:45:02.040sees me for who i am i know exactly what i want and when i identified him we locked it in
04:45:08.120monogamously so right but okay doesn't even matter what the journey was how many first dates do you
04:45:13.000think you went on i don't know and i'm honestly not going to tell you why because because all you're
04:45:18.120doing is weaponizing it and making me look like i'm this no one is trying to do that hungry person
04:45:26.120i'm less of a value woman just because i went on multiple dates no but that's what's being
04:45:30.520but you said yourself i did ask you at one point i asked you if you thought that was a healthy
04:45:35.320pattern and you said no and yet you're defending it right now and so i'm telling i am defending it
04:45:40.600because everyone goes through their own healing journey and it's not our part listen yeah everyone
04:45:46.280goes through their own healing journey of dating hundreds and until you've been in an actually
04:45:51.880abusive controlling relationship and have not had any control over your life you really have no
04:45:56.840i'm going to tell you right now that you do not know my past but i'm telling you i have slept with
04:46:01.400a lot of people i have a pretty significant past and i am able to sit here and say it was unhealthy
04:46:07.080it was wrong i will not defend it i wish i didn't do it i wish i could have done things differently and
04:46:11.720it was not traditional and i'm just saying if you are wanting to say you're traditional and you it's
04:46:17.240you recognize it's not healthy we shouldn't be perpetuating that this is somehow worthy of like
04:46:21.960a chivalrous man who's going to be expecting you to be like it's not ladylike it's not traditional
04:46:27.160and i'm just saying we're not attacking you we're attacking the ideology let me let me jump in really
04:46:32.040quick let me jump in really quick i'm gonna ask you guys a question here uh do you want a long-term
04:46:35.480relationship do i want one do you want one um yes do you want a long-term relationship yeah do you want
04:46:42.840a long-term relationship okay my question to you is let's say you went out went on a date with a guy
04:46:48.040and your goal you're not just trying to fuck him it's not like a casual hookup you're like hey i
04:46:53.640want a long-term relationship that's your goal this guy tells you by the way i have 30 40 50
04:47:02.280more dates lined up i have a date tonight i have a date i have dates with other women all this week
04:47:08.920do you think if you were desirous of a long-term relationship that this would be the type of man
04:47:13.080that you ought to pursue no no no because i don't think i'm getting a fair chance at that point
04:47:20.600that's a good it's a good point because you're you're he's not going to give you a fair chance
04:47:24.840um so i mean if you're desirous of a long-term relationship
04:47:31.160it's just not a good look i don't care about the look it really doesn't impact me at all because i know
04:47:36.360who i am as a person and i know that my person and my match is going to identify you can do i am
04:47:41.720and vice versa so like i've never been on dating apps or anything before by a lot of friends that
04:47:47.480have and you can you can easily talk to go on a virtual first date with 30 people like really
04:47:55.480quickly i would assume right by just messaging them like do you view that differently than meeting them
04:47:59.960in person like what's your perspective on that because i feel like you can be like hey what's up
04:48:04.920and be like having and that actually wasn't even a function because i got on the dating scene a month
04:48:10.120before the pandemic hit i've literally seen the evolution of the app yeah so they didn't have
04:48:15.240a film i'm pretty sure they always had no they did not have picture function they did not have video
04:48:20.200camera that was an evolution that happened but like late in 2020 but like couldn't you just be like
04:48:24.920texting 30 people easily i wouldn't date a girl like that look i'll just give you my i'll just give
04:48:30.120you my perspective on this uh maybe i don't move the same way as a lot of guys like if i'm interested in
04:48:35.880a woman that's who i'm pursuing and i'm gonna get bring it as far as i can and that's if it doesn't
04:48:43.320work out with her then huh and hope it sticks right if it doesn't work out with her then i'll start
04:48:49.560entertaining other options but i don't do this thing of okay i'm just going to talk to like 10
04:48:54.440chicks fuck three of them keep them on the the back burner for three months and then the one i like
04:48:59.480the most maybe i'll give you see how you're painting that picture like that's not what i did and that's
04:49:03.320what you're making it sound no i'm just talking about myself i'm not even saying that's what you
04:49:07.720did i'm just talking about myself but perhaps you weren't to that degree but you said you were dating
04:49:13.800or going on dates with multiple i was going on first dates to me that's literally the same thing
04:49:19.480thank you for it is not the same thank you for reiterating exactly what i said it's a date did
04:49:24.440any of these men you went on second dates with third dates with and that was in like the beginning
04:49:29.320phases and i kid you not all of them were like first dates like nope nope nope nope nope doesn't
04:49:35.720matter i was learning what i what i wanted and my question to you is like in life when you were
04:49:41.720younger and you were like out on the dating scene and stuff did you have any restrictions or were you
04:49:46.440able to like meet as many women or young ladies as you kind of wanted to and get to know them i mean
04:49:51.480certainly there's been periods and i've had period hold on let me finish there's been periods when i i was on
04:49:56.280the dating apps but i mean i was fairly intentional like if i'm not i have no interest in sleeping with
04:50:02.280a girl once if i want to get with the girl there's going to be there's going to be continuity look it's
04:50:06.920certainly possible that she doesn't want to continue seeing me although that's relatively rare uh but
04:50:11.560yes there's absolutely going to be continuity so i don't want to just fuck a girl once and never talk
04:50:16.120to her again right to me that's pointless it's a waste of time i'm very like i'm i'm a busy person i don't
04:50:21.240have time to be just oh let me just fuck a girl once and then put in all the effort and never talk
04:50:25.400to her and that doesn't that's not what but and that's not what i'm even like propagating or talking
04:50:30.840about i'm talking about meeting people yeah but i don't even have i don't have an interest i don't
04:50:35.960have an interest in if i was on it i would probably screen it out to begin with you know if i'm meeting
04:50:41.720a girl and she's like i this actually happened to me when i was on dating apps and look i know this is
04:50:46.600how people move on dating apps i was on a date with a girl and uh you know i'm trying to remember the
04:50:51.800exact details but i was on a date with her she told me she just downloaded hinge it was a hinge date
04:50:56.280and i think she'd had it for three days she told me i'd only been on the app for three days it's my
04:51:01.320first date with her i think it was a saturday she tells me on the date credit to her i guess so i
04:51:06.440could disqualify her immediately she told me by the way you know because we were just talking oh so
04:51:10.760how's your experience been on the dating apps blah blah that's how we got to it she tells me oh yeah
04:51:15.240i've already been on two dates and then i have three dates three other dates planned for this weekend
04:51:18.920and then a couple other dates planned i was like i mean i was uh you know i continued the conversation
04:51:23.720with her for a bit but then i was yeah and that's but that's also a different posture like how
04:51:29.640disrespectful can it possibly be for you to be like oh i've been on a couple of dates and i also have a
04:51:34.440few dates after you like i give that person my attention but you don't know wait because i'm not
04:51:39.480going doing that's not exactly what you're doing that she just asked me are you planning are you
04:51:44.760pre-planning 30 different dates like that no i'm connecting with someone i'm talking to them
04:51:50.200now i want to meet them in person see if they're a good match but you're talking about not i move on
04:51:54.440to the next two in a day i mean that sounds like pretty like you're setting up a roster and honestly
04:52:01.160like i'll be honest like when i'm on a dating app i have maybe a few conversations with people they
04:52:05.800fizzle out whatever but i'm not like setting up i i'm not trying to judge you i'm just saying like
04:52:11.320well that's the way you choose to do life and then i choose to do life but you can't say it's
04:52:15.400a traditional way of living if i'm going to give a prescription here my advice to men would be
04:52:21.480you ought only date women whoever who are immediately giving you their undivided romantic
04:52:28.680and sexual attention i have a question for you go ahead so if that girl were to want to just pursue
04:52:34.520you after that first date and canceled all the rest of her dates would you still consider her
04:52:40.680or would you still disqualify her right it it depends a little bit it's still not i mean if
04:52:46.120she's like okay i really like brian i'm gonna cut off everybody else yeah then yeah that's i give
04:52:52.280her some leeway but it's still like not the most ideal way to be moving in my in my yeah no i agree i
04:52:58.600don't because i think okay well what about the past has she been sexually involved recently with
04:53:02.440anybody else like i don't want to date a girl who just like i'm going on the first date with you and
04:53:06.600you hooked up with a guy the night before i don't want to date you yeah that totally makes sense and
04:53:11.400i like don't agree with what you did but i would assume that if you wanted to pursue one of the guys
04:53:17.400that you went on i've just had that yeah you would cancel the other dates and continue to pursue that guy
04:53:24.040i don't know i for me personally like i'm pretty straightforward i don't like to play games i'm
04:53:28.520just gonna tell a girl i like you like it's gonna be a fucking another one i don't know what do i
04:53:35.000say wrecking ball no it's just gonna be like i'm not gonna play a game where we're like for three
04:53:39.480months we're in a situation ship and like you're fucking other dudes i'm fucking up i'm fucking
04:53:44.360other i was about to say i'm sleeping with other girls like i'm gonna be very intentional i like you
04:53:51.240if i sleep with you i want to continue seeing i agree with that posture and i know that modern
04:53:55.800dating for the most part handles it the way you just said situationships three months that's how
04:54:00.680it is non-exclusive sleeping around whatever and then that's what gets you into a pickle people are
04:54:05.880incredibly dissatisfied with this whole situation ship but i would not use that as a blanket to like
04:54:13.640meeting people i fully expect and like you know yeah so sure people should meet people and get
04:54:20.280to know you're not like sleeping with multiple people but i would still disqualify a girl who's like
04:54:24.840entertaining that many men because you're also like to some degree you are you are probably
04:54:29.720subconsciously comparing them to each other in a sense you're like well this date went like this
04:54:34.520with this guy and then that date goes like this with that guy and like you can't be satisfied because
04:54:38.680like you're just constantly moving on to the next the next the next and maybe there would have been
04:54:42.760somebody that would have been worthy but you just were so busy setting up all these dates that you
04:54:47.960know you kind of didn't even give anybody maybe a viable chance it just it screams like i i i need
04:54:53.560romantic attention but i do not want to form connections with people because i'm scared of
04:54:58.120being hurt well i have a question a scenario right if you're sitting at a dinner table and you have a
04:55:04.040guest and this guest has had consistent meals and eaten well-fed well-raised whatever how do you expect
04:55:12.120that they're going to eat their food are they going to use their forks properly right properly like
04:55:18.760normally so then if you're at a dinner table with someone that has been lost in the woods without
04:55:25.240any food starved to the point of almost death and you've invited them to dinner after 30 days of not
04:55:32.920eating how are they going to eat listen how would they eat in front of you i understand like a pig with
04:55:38.600their hands with their like they're in survival mode sure okay so we can't just throw these judgments on
04:55:45.080people like i'm speaking for all other domestic violence survivors today i said that listen we do
04:55:51.320need to have compassion and empathy for people because not everybody's operating under the same
04:55:55.640level of uh their faculties due to whatever they've been through blah blah blah but it does not absolve us
04:56:01.080of personal responsibility and we have okay so you're in your example the person who comes starving for a
04:56:07.880very long time and gets food there's no moral uh like it's not morally wrong to like start shoveling
04:56:15.480food down because you're hungry but it is morally it's wrong to lead these guys on you're not leading
04:56:22.440them on if you've gone on one date and you've said i'm not interested thank you that's not morally wrong
04:56:28.120that is actually morally correct it's morally wrong to have multiple men on a roster and to just keep
04:56:34.520them there hanging for three months at a time that you just that day you just randomly swiped on a
04:56:41.240random guy matched with them said hey let's meet up in like a couple hours like no but a couple of
04:56:46.920days prior has nobody ever matched on an app and had some conversation so you had many guys planning
04:56:53.080out your week dependent upon no i wasn't planning out my week don't put words in my mouth because i
04:56:58.280never said somebody you have to i've been on that in order to meet 30 guys in a month you have to
04:57:03.160have some kind of planning it out and you have a life it's logistically impossible i gave a
04:57:09.720okay can i ask a question what one thing really quick so as somebody who used to be on the dating
04:57:15.160apps been off them for a while uh at least from the guys perspective maybe it's it could be different
04:57:21.400from from women if you were a bit more making yourself a bit more available from my perspective it's
04:57:27.240very difficult to get a woman on a date same day that you match them even you even if you ask for
04:57:34.920the date let's say you don't match with them on thursday you're typically going to have to plan the
04:57:40.520date out a couple days most people are not available dinner dates and longer dates yes agreed but a quick
04:57:48.040coffee date in downtown wherever you are doesn't take much planning if you have a flexible schedule which
04:57:53.640i have to be like hey how are you are you a sane person are you you have conversations with these
04:57:59.000people i would i said that obviously i would argue most of the dates that i've been on from from
04:58:03.800dating apps was not like spontaneous let's meet today it's maybe happened a couple times the vast
04:58:09.880majority of them were uh okay it's it's currently monday uh what are you doing thursday what are you
04:58:15.720doing friday are you like we plan it days in advance and that's the difference between being single and not
04:58:21.000having children and being single and actually having to like would it be even harder around
04:58:26.840whatever you don't have kids you have even more to plan around yeah you could i feel like if you
04:58:31.720have kids you would have to plan it even more you probably have less dates especially you gotta
04:58:35.320arrange that's crazy anyways we are going to move on we do got to move on let me read a couple
04:58:39.000chats oh wait did this did this one guys donated 200 did this come through the real question
04:58:45.000uh i'm gonna have alissa read the one that's about to come up while we do that guys go to twitch.tv
04:58:51.560slash whatever drop us a follow in the prime sub if you have one uh twitch.tv slash whatever
04:58:56.840drop us a follow in a prime sub if you have one and we have uh oh we got two coming in right now
04:59:01.960hold on guys it's coming in just a moment any second now any second now it's going to come in i
04:59:09.080feel it's coming there it is hey go ahead alissa oh boy would you rather be in the woods with a
04:59:17.720trans man who by definition is a man or a trans woman who by definition is a woman with a beard and
04:59:24.760her junk hanging out this is uh okay just one or one or two i guess oh lord which one are we answering
04:59:33.960yeah sure i'm confused by that question even just say one or two the first or the second i don't even
04:59:39.320remember what trans man or trans woman trans man or trans woman i have no preference i don't i'll
04:59:46.760say it quick but i don't agree with the definition part and i don't want someone's junk hanging out so
04:59:51.560i don't i i don't know i'd off myself no answer trans woman yeah so no preference uh no comment
04:59:59.000whoever's biologically a man okay but trans woman with her junk hanging out is a penis right
05:00:04.680alissa can you read this one yeah i thought you had therapy for this so why are you trying
05:00:10.920so too hard to cope with your decision you know was unhealthy by the way you hopefully have someone
05:00:17.800tell you to slow down and chew your food or you'll choke
05:00:20.840can we move on well put nickelodeon okay we're gonna move on from that i'm finally gonna get into
05:00:30.600some of my pre-show notes here so starting with alissa you said you wanted to talk about cheating
05:00:35.720so have you been cheated on or um i have been cheated on yeah was that by your you said you were
05:00:42.120in an 18 month relationship is it that one yeah he i don't know if i would consider it cheating because
05:00:48.280i never like caught him in the act of like doing anything with her but the thing the big thing was
05:00:54.360that he would like constantly go to the gym with this girl and i didn't know what was going on so i
05:01:00.120just like decided to confront him about it and once i confronted him about it i like caught him picking
05:01:06.440her up from like another place like some someone else like one of my friends had seen him do that
05:01:12.280so then that like kind of confirmed the fact that he was like hanging out with her without me knowing
05:01:17.000especially because we were like supposed to hang out later that day were you in a long distance
05:01:21.480relationship with him no we were living in the same city at the time sorry you said something about
05:01:28.200controlling your boyfriend's following what does that mean like following on instagram yeah yeah we
05:01:33.160were talking about whether or not like that should be allowed i personally don't think that we should
05:01:38.280have control over it but natalia was talking about it i said um i personally wouldn't want
05:01:48.200my boyfriend following all these girls i i just wouldn't and um i would want him on not like he
05:01:54.920could follow like a maybe a childhood friend or his mom his sister blah blah blah like ig models like
05:01:59.560that yeah yeah absolutely not like if i see summer ray on his following list i'm
05:02:03.480following like a model but i wouldn't be against him following like his friends like better girls
05:02:09.480like female friends yeah okay so i mean uh i'm trying to think here uh i mean me personally i don't
05:02:16.280follow anyone on instagram um even on my personal page well i follow my own whatever page and then
05:02:22.280whatever page only follows me but um i think it's i don't think women are wrong for feeling that way
05:02:32.120but i think it's it's massive l for a dude to be following girls like random hot chicks that's just
05:02:41.480it's an l not even from the frame of girls don't like it it's just an l in general like why are you
05:02:48.760following like you're cooming over these like random hot chicks never talk to you that would never give
05:02:56.440your shot you're oh you're so beautiful it's like yeah it's like embarrassing to see a guy in the
05:03:03.240comments of like a supermodel who's never gonna notice him it's just like why are you even doing
05:03:07.480let me give you the the male corresponding thing on this so if i just say if i were to agree with you that
05:03:15.480it's a bad look for men to be like following these ig models or you know whatever it is liking their
05:03:21.320photos um would you guys be willing to concede that if you're dating a guy it's not a good look
05:03:27.480for you to be posting immodest photos like bikini photos in general like if your boyfriend objected
05:03:34.600to you post i have a bikini photo up right now and i would still keep it well but so here's the thing
05:03:38.840right if you don't if you wouldn't like your guy liking those photos and following those women that
05:03:45.000post those kind of uh photos i think he's just he's just as righteous in not wanting you to have
05:03:54.600revealing and modest photos on your instagram you're doing the thing that you don't want him
05:03:59.720to be looking at so it's me objected it i think i would take it but it's yeah but if you're looking at
05:04:05.960so that's the problem is like honestly i'm sure some of my photos are immodest but honestly if i was
05:04:12.600dating somebody who uh had a problem with it i would totally take that into consideration because
05:04:18.280i value his input and i wouldn't want him to feel uncomfortable all right and then the other thing
05:04:22.920what is the two man's thing i think two of you oh yeah we wrote these together like what is the two
05:04:28.120man's thing we were basically talking about it and how it's like kind of like a fun exciting like
05:04:33.480thing to do but like some people think it's just weird it's kind of like how are we talking and when
05:04:40.840we're like saying this we're like going more into like the college lifestyle and wait but so
05:04:45.640explain what is two man okay two two man yeah okay two man is like when two guys like their friends
05:04:54.040get two girls and they hang out but the the like plan is to hook up at the end of the day oh so it's
05:05:01.160not just like let's go bowling and that's it no a two man is like we go bowling like a double date
05:05:05.640kind of a double date but then but y'all try the happy ending yeah yeah double date okay
05:05:12.040uh wait so you guys have gone have you no i haven't no two men but they're the guys are so
05:05:17.480okay just to be just so i understand so the guys will like hit you up and be like instead of just
05:05:24.440being like hey do you want to hang out they'll be like hey do you have a cute girl for me and my
05:05:28.600friend yeah you know it's funny people even make like on dating account or dating what are they dating
05:05:33.400apps they'll make like two man profiles yeah like we're looking for a third i see what you're
05:05:39.960talking and like i've seen girls do that too they'll be like hey it's me vanessa and becky
05:05:45.240looking for it too and they're looking for it yeah oh no that's kind of weird yeah i think it's kind
05:05:50.360of it's and it's like it's already hard enough like just making a connection just one-on-one
05:05:56.360but then like let's say other people's energy let's say let's say you have a connection with the guy but
05:06:01.480then your girlfriend isn't digging the other dude it's just awkward well if you agree to go
05:06:07.000to on a team like oh my god like i had to take one for the team take the grenade oh yeah and when
05:06:12.520you the young people crave drama yeah and it just did it put injects so much drama also i feel like
05:06:22.040nobody's like going on double dates here like it's purely hookup culture which is why like a two-man is
05:06:28.120like a double date but it's like the best we could get dang that's sad as bad as it sounded
05:06:35.480now you wanted to uh what's the thing on splitting the bill on dates what were your thoughts on that
05:06:39.960oh we were also talking about that we think that that's like wrong like i wouldn't split the bill
05:06:45.240the man should pay i think i think the man should pay hold on wait but on the first date on the first
05:06:52.600date for sure like going forward like yeah yeah i would offer but on the first date yeah if you
05:06:58.440asked me to split it i'm gonna be like yeah okay i came out i was talking about this with my boyfriend
05:07:03.320sister and i was like what how do you feel about this and she had a really good point she was like
05:07:08.600i feel like whoever initiates is the one that needs to pay so whether that's the girl or the boy and i was
05:07:13.160like oh that's actually really fair because you're like hey i want to get to know you i want to take you
05:07:16.680out my tree but how often does the woman actually initiate the date because it's mostly the man who
05:07:23.160initiates asking someone out and women expect the man to initiate nine times i think girls initiate a
05:07:28.840lot more these days than normal but but yeah maybe by a small degree but you would probably prefer a man
05:07:35.400be the one to say hey i really like you i'd like to take you out you would prefer that so so the whole
05:07:40.920point is that like the splitting the bill thing like you're expecting a man to pay but he's the
05:07:46.360one who's always asking you out so it's always going to be him yeah even if i were to ask a guy
05:07:52.280out on a date if it went really well i would expect him to end up paying for it yeah even if it went
05:07:57.880really well even if she asked oh if you asked you would expect him okay yeah yeah if it went well
05:08:04.760yeah what if a date goes badly do you still expect him to pay yeah yes i still think i think the
05:08:11.320initiator i said i still like that i stand by that i think that's yeah let me ask you guys a question
05:08:15.800so the man um okay so the man should pay on the first date right women should i'm trying to think
05:08:26.360what would be the corresponding thing here if men should do it's it's always interesting like there's
05:08:31.800never any pushback if a woman says men should do x traditional gender role but if a man says women
05:08:38.680should do like for example women should i this isn't my view but i'm going to give you this as an
05:08:43.800example women should oh my god i'm gonna get clipped i don't know if i should say it say it
05:08:51.320okay it's gonna get do it before you thank you much do it in your cool we all know where it's coming
05:08:56.920are you saying like be properly single or no like i mean i could the the more the more extreme one
05:09:02.200would be like women should be virgins i was gonna say disclose your body count or something but that's
05:09:07.240i mean let me give something a bit less extreme uh women should be in the kitchen
05:09:15.640is that sexist no or women should dress up nicely with heels and whatever for a day i think that's like
05:09:20.760like i've been on a date i'm not gonna pull up in heels in a dress i pulled up in a casual clothing
05:09:32.200and he's that's by the way that's not don't clip me that's not this is different i think men a lot
05:09:37.000of men these days would prefer a woman just to dress like more modestly rather than like flashy and and
05:09:42.440all done up and everything um maybe it's not true for everyone but from what i'm seeing it seems like
05:09:47.480more men are leaning that way but uh yeah it's also not equivalent because like women aren't
05:09:52.120losing anything to put on a way i have a question yeah that's right so do you know any girls that
05:09:56.120like they're kind of doing the hookup thing where they're like they got a roster you know any girls
05:10:00.680like that you know any girls like that no any girls like that do you think that the man should still
05:10:05.240pay like let's say he's taking a girl on the first date but she like hooked up with a guy it's not
05:10:09.560like he knows though but they're not saying hey by the way i hooked up with this guy before
05:10:13.960you i feel like if you're in that situation like he asked her on the date yeah i feel like so so
05:10:18.920just to be clear the guy should be chivalrous traditional pay for the first date still pay
05:10:22.680for the first date even though she's fucking another guy and even if it goes bad if you don't like
05:10:26.920another girl and she's supposed to tell what if he's not though what if he wants you know what if
05:10:31.480he's not and keep in mind when i'm like there's like an automatic like they're sleeping with
05:10:36.920everybody so it doesn't matter what i do but that's we go to ucsb yeah
05:10:41.000there's there's no scenario there's no scenario where i'm gonna pay i'm not even going on a date
05:10:51.320with her i'm not going on a date i want anything if a girl's sleeping with another guy i don't want
05:10:56.840anything to do with her i don't i don't even want to fuck her once how are you gonna know i don't
05:11:01.720want to kiss her i don't want nothing what do you do to screen that before going on a first date yeah
05:11:07.480i mean hopefully i because i are you seeing other people right now hopefully they tell you
05:11:11.880the truth if you're led by your values and you try to find somebody who seems like they're i know you
05:11:16.840don't know them at first but try to find someone who seems like they're more aligned with your
05:11:20.200values then hopefully you can trust a little bit that they're telling you the truth and you ask them
05:11:25.480important questions generally yeah someone who's in their dating profile is going to highlight all the
05:11:30.520things that are important not nothing that's like superficial they're not going on a bunch of dates
05:11:37.320like one after another um yeah they're they're not pushing all of this stuff all of the this stuff
05:11:44.840that signals a modern dating lifestyle someone who sleeps around a lot um yeah those things kind of
05:11:52.440clue you in wait so going back to you so yours men should pay for first dates right yeah yeah going
05:11:57.880around the table on this actually men should pay for first dates if they initiate yeah yeah if they
05:12:02.680ask then yeah yes i've paid for plenty of first dates should men pay though do you prefer them to
05:12:07.960pay um i leave it up to them i'm as i like i will offer and then if they insist then i'll thank them
05:12:15.480because it's a kind gesture but i'm not going to like lead with that expectation i would prefer it
05:12:21.560but i it really depends on how the date goes i don't want a guy to pay if i'm not into it and you
05:12:25.720said yes yeah okay so so that kind of means that you guys buy into traditional gender roles if you
05:12:32.280think men should pay for the first date right yes so but so why is it okay for women to say
05:12:36.920men should pay for first dates we can also say men should protect women and you know we already
05:12:43.640talked about the bullet thing men should sacrifice their life for women but it's not okay for men to
05:12:48.600say women should dress modestly i think it's okay for men to say that i never said it wasn't okay
05:12:53.080well i'd argue most women would be like you shouldn't be you shouldn't control what i wear
05:12:57.080i think you have a pretty cons i don't i wouldn't call us like conservative but like a lot more of a
05:13:03.320level-headed group in the room than maybe you typically have you have a bikini photo on your
05:13:10.200instagram right i do okay so if we were dating and i was like actually you know the the gangster move
05:13:17.320for you would be like i don't even have to tell you you just take that down you just get it like
05:13:23.480for example you don't want to tell a guy to have to behave in the ways you want him to behave you
05:13:28.440want him to just do it automatically right you won't have to teach a guy no no no no you're
05:13:33.720mom no no edgar yeah as a guy that would be the biggest turn on you in the world you don't it does
05:13:39.960not take that much effort to make a man fall for you it's literally yeah doing stuff like that respect
05:13:46.440that's like respecting me but if i was like hey i want you to take that photo down would you do it
05:13:51.880if you came to me and like express a concern about it i'd be like all right you know like begrudgingly
05:13:56.760take it down no i wouldn't take it down i mean a post is a post like all right uh and then what
05:14:01.720about okay would it would it be okay for a man to say women should cook for men um
05:14:09.160my dad's like that and i always tell him off on it with my mom you tell him off yeah i tell him off i
05:14:14.280said like once he tried to make me like serve my brother and i said no he could get up and do it
05:14:17.800himself i'm not going to serve him and i'm not going to cook for a man that says woman needs to
05:14:23.080cook for him like if i do it kindheartedly and i want to do it for him because he's a good man i'll
05:14:27.080do it but i'm not going to do it just because he's a man well but but why then should a man pay for
05:14:33.320a first date just because he's a man and you're a woman it's just the way i feel it's how you feel
05:14:38.760that's just the way i feel it's a okay so so you're fine with the statement men should pay
05:14:44.280for first dates but you're not fine with the statement for a first date hold on hold on
05:14:48.760women should cook for men you're not fine with that statement no why because i've seen the way like
05:14:55.160my mom like she's so submissive and it annoys me i'm not going to do that wait it annoys you that your
05:15:00.520mom is submissive and that way that she will like immediately get up serve a plate is she doing
05:15:05.160does she do it happily yeah is she happy yeah she probably is like i have a stepmom who it is
05:15:10.680that is how she loves yeah yeah let her answer her life her background go ahead go ahead can you ask
05:15:16.680it again i got like lost my mind is your mom happy with that arrangement is she happy yeah she's happy
05:15:21.560with arrangement to each their own i don't uh is she you know yeah like does she nag about the things
05:15:31.880yeah she does okay so she's not happy yeah she's happy with him but that part like you know i will
05:15:37.960when i'm talking about i'm talking about like in his hispanic perspective that's like expected
05:15:41.880a man is like wait question does your mom is she uh like work at all or she stayed at home she stay at
05:15:46.520home and your your father they're still married right they're still married uh your father he's the
05:15:51.240sole breadwinner of the household yeah um is he can do you mind saying what he does for work
05:15:56.360uh he's a manager manager okay is he successful or doing well um he provides for i have five
05:16:04.440siblings he's provided for us okay so but she doesn't like it when he says hey can you cook for
05:16:09.960me but he's the sole breadwinner she's not complaining but she's not complaining about that
05:16:13.880um it's more of me complaining about it but i've seen it because i've seen that like try to get
05:16:19.640reinforced onto me if your father decided do you have siblings five five siblings and sole breadwinner
05:16:27.800right one one income if your father was like well i just don't feel like going to work anymore
05:16:34.520would you question that decision absolutely because he's not the man so but if it's his role
05:16:40.840to be the provider and go to work wouldn't it be your mom's role to manage the household
05:16:47.560yeah how many is he work how much uh hours a week do you think he works 50 yeah does he have two jobs
05:16:54.600no just one just one job works monday through friday yeah well does he work full time he works full
05:17:01.720time okay so just to be clear you have no objections to him being uh
05:17:08.520a slave to the labor market but you do object to your mother cooking for her family
05:17:20.120i never said that yeah or you okay you object to
05:17:23.080she's coming from a different life experience yeah so stop okay so you object to
05:17:30.200you object to the expectation that your father has
05:17:33.800on your mother his wife to cook to the extremity that he does it yes how does he
05:17:40.360is he eating multiple dinners a night it has to be done if it's not done by the time he's off of
05:17:45.400work he gets annoyed um she's worried like if we're out doing something it's oh i have to be home in
05:17:52.040time to cook for your dad so i just wouldn't want that type of and well and cook for the family too right
05:17:56.520cook for the family too yeah okay so would you what just one last thing one last thing okay so
05:18:03.160do you think that do you think that if your father stopped working do you think that your mother his
05:18:10.280wife would find that annoying she would find a job she would you don't think they would cause
05:18:17.640relationship problems if he just decided to not do his role he had a knee problem she was immediately
05:18:23.480like about to start working so okay but if he just said you know i just don't really feel like
05:18:29.000that's a little different what that's different like a health issue yeah sorry different health
05:18:35.720reasons it's like a health reason versus like a character flaw yeah well character flaw then yeah
05:18:41.480she didn't ever say that her mom was like super unhappy with the arrangement she doesn't want
05:18:46.360a divorce i just said that i don't want that she doesn't want that forced on her but she wants
05:18:51.160the man to be a traditional it's pay for one day i'm not asking for a hand in marriage pay for a date
05:18:57.880i'm i'm what 2019 i'm 19 about so it's like you're trying to go on a movie no i'm not asking
05:19:04.280you're picking and choosing the the the traditional man treatment that you want i feel like so like
05:19:10.760it you kind of have your the man who is going to be a traditional guy who is going to want to pay for
05:19:18.280a first date is also going to ask of you those traditional things that man will men will want
05:19:26.280and i feel like this goes more off of my previous answer on like the wanting a family and a marriage
05:19:31.160and everything over a career and education so that should just like show you my viewpoint i'm just saying
05:19:35.800like if you're not looking for the traditional relationship like i'm not saying like you don't
05:19:42.920want a man but you're not looking for a man who's going to be a leader who's asking you to submit to
05:19:48.600him his leadership and you're not looking for that then oh so you are looking for that i never said that
05:19:54.760either i just said i don't well okay so from all of the conversation that we've had you have very much
05:20:00.360suggested that you're against female submission to their partner um so is that we spoke about
05:20:08.360cooking you said specifically you were turned off by the word submission like submission like my mom
05:20:14.520submits to my dad and it kind of like irks me that's you you said in the context of her because we don't
05:20:20.520know what her life and her upbringing was like just like it doesn't really matter it does matter so
05:20:25.480much because in your family you have respect no no okay if someone says if someone says
05:20:31.720regardless of how they were brought up regardless of their history it irks me that my mom submits to
05:20:37.640my dad that's but that's coming in her context it's not just an off the cuff yeah well we also know in
05:20:43.240the context that it seems like loving parents and you got a great example of what so from what we've
05:20:48.520talked about it seems like that her parents have a pretty good relationship that her mom's not
05:20:54.280miserable like public but there people stay for multiple different reasons but that's you making
05:21:02.760an assumption that there could be some no i'm speaking from experience no but you're speaking
05:21:06.840from okay well you can't you can't apply your experience coming from a large family and also
05:21:12.040first generation you're talking about also very submissive culture like you know i i know i and i see her
05:21:18.920struggling to to articulate herself because she's a little bit younger she hasn't had to argue her
05:21:23.400viewpoint but i know how big of a turnoff it was to me to see like my dad talking to my mom in a
05:21:29.880demeaning maybe tone just because he was raised to be clear is your dad being demeaning towards your mom
05:21:35.960when we talk about cooking and that was the whole topic yeah so there are things that people come to
05:21:42.120the table with and that's it's not but anyways i do anyway i just there's so many notes i have to
05:21:49.560get through i don't know if i'll even be able to get through all of them um i think really quick
05:21:53.800though on the who pays thing again i'm just kind of confused of if it's okay for for a woman to say
05:21:59.720i think a man should pay for the first date why is it also wrong for a man to say i think i want
05:22:04.600a woman to make me a sandwich i feel like it's unfair make me a sandwich only just make me a sandwich
05:22:10.120once though yeah no well i would say i think it's unfair to equate one the first day he's paying for
05:22:16.200the first date to a lifelong obligation of paying or making meals for like your husband i think if you
05:22:21.240like work out an agreement eventually or not even an eventually just by the second date where it's
05:22:25.720like you're more open to splitting the bill or you offer like that's more of like a give or take
05:22:30.440relationship like it doesn't one date shouldn't equate being the lifetime of um meals i just think
05:22:36.280it's funny like so how women hate when men ask to go 50 50 on a date but are perfectly comfortable
05:22:43.080with 50 50 in a divorce i would i think it's just the first date we're talking about yeah we
05:22:49.480i would be willing to split on the second date let me ask you guys just you guys a question real
05:22:53.240quick okay just tell me why like make an actual argument why men should pay on the first date
05:23:00.440yeah because i think it's a way of showing interest well hold on showing investment yeah
05:23:05.960okay so why should to put like work into this like what because a female invests in herself too they
05:23:11.480dress up they buy jewelry they do their nails stuff like that but that's not an investment in the man
05:23:15.960sorry that's not an investment in the man that's an investment in herself right i put in a lot of
05:23:20.040effort to be here on the state you asked me to come to i expect you to pay for it well didn't the
05:23:25.240guy put in just an equal amount of effort if not more he asked me to go on the date though
05:23:30.120i didn't bring this upon him he brought it upon me have you ever asked a guy out on a date no okay
05:23:35.640well hi i have guys and what's that i have and he paid i and he still i hate to admit it but but
05:23:43.880more often than not like for you when it comes to first date like of the times you've been asked
05:23:47.560out by a guy more often than not is it the guy asking or are you asking i've asked once the other
05:23:52.520times the guys asked and so you asked one time how many times what ten times if guys have been on
05:23:57.240you i don't know three times three times what about you uh like two times two times okay more
05:24:02.600often than not men are the ones initiating here so um it's kind of this like very convenient position
05:24:10.760to say well you asked you should pay well what what's the alternative okay fine as a guy i'll just
05:24:17.320sit back and wait for women to ask me out on dates so that they can pay for the date but then that
05:24:25.240then that man gets faced with the brutal reality of he's never going to get asked out on a date
05:24:30.280most men never get asked out on dates well that's just the way like it is okay but so what's the art
05:24:36.120what's the actual argument for why a man should pay and you answered but what about you i agree with her
05:24:40.840answer be because they asked yeah that's the argument they wanted you to go so why wouldn't they pay for
05:24:49.240it but you see how that's unfair because you never asked me to go right but women never
05:24:56.440really ask the man so it's always going to be on the man and then you're we're having the same
05:25:01.480conversation what do you think i think it's one day and if they're gonna like i kind of said it
05:25:07.480earlier like after the first day i'd totally be open to splitting it honestly i'd be open to
05:25:11.320splitting the first day i would probably be like okay you don't like me that much then if like you
05:25:15.000want to split it just because i think it is the investment thing huh go ahead um but yeah yeah
05:25:20.680the investment thing well let me go around the table starting with you if you go on a date with
05:25:24.360guy and he he wants to split will there be a second date if the date went well yeah
05:25:35.000yeah yeah yeah i'm sorry sorry guys yeah wait yeah there will be a second there yeah it depends
05:25:42.920how the date went and if i knew them before yeah if the date went like really well then yeah
05:25:48.120i don't oppose to splitting i just prefer the man to pay same yeah i kind of prefer splitting the first
05:25:52.840date i don't think there would be a second date okay all right okay we're gonna move on we're gonna
05:25:57.880move on let's see let's get back to some do the bow thing oh yeah that's not that's decent yeah all
05:26:04.120right here's my view fine men should pay for first dates in my own view i think women should bow
05:26:13.000nick play the video all right this is what i think a woman should do boom hit look at that bow great
05:26:20.440technique great skill look at it look at the attentiveness get putting putting in the dirty
05:26:27.000laundry hamper look at that come home from a long podcast come home from a hard day's work the dinner's
05:26:33.480ready look at this she's attentive she's got she's got my drink oh my noodles need stirring yep
05:26:41.000look at that boom very a bit a bit too much but okay i'll accept it and one more time one more time
05:26:49.480with the bow look at the bow boom i want i want a girl to bow um would you if you were dating a guy
05:26:58.280and he was like hey i want you to every time you see me i want you to hit a bow would you do it no i
05:27:04.600almost feel like that's his way of like establishing dominance like what if he paid for every day if
05:27:10.920he paid for everything he pays for everything he's the provider like the house you live in in this in
05:27:15.560this one in this first date in this like immediate interaction he's providing he's the big man he's
05:27:20.520the big man he's dominating in the financial aspect like he you're gonna he's probably gonna dominate
05:27:26.680the conversation yeah like like he's probably gonna be the one that's asking the questions because
05:27:32.040generally speaking when i've gone on dates it's me who is going to have to generate all the
05:27:36.360questions because i asked the person on the date i feel like there's a burden upon me to like kind of
05:27:42.120carry the conversation i think generally speaking that's kind of the the what women ask of men in
05:27:48.920first dates so what do you do about i pay for every day well no no so okay so the first date this in
05:27:57.240this hypothetical world if i'm going to pay for a date i i it'd be kind of cool to see a bow first
05:28:04.920date like respectable like i respect you as a man joke on the first no no no i respect you i respect
05:28:12.840you as a woman so i'm going to provide for you i respect you as a man therefore i'm going to bow
05:28:18.280that's crazy if you're bowing on the first date yeah i think it's crazy if a man would always pay
05:28:24.280for the first day i don't even think it would be good if she bows on the first day i'll accept
05:28:29.560second date if you're on a date with a girl and she legitimately bowed with bowed for you you'd be
05:28:33.720like oh my god like no like that's like weird i would wife her on the spot yeah that would be like
05:28:52.440a massive green check like please sit down i will pay for whatever you would you would you do a bow
05:28:57.960um i'd make a joke of it yes but i have cooked and baked for men on dates and they did not come back
05:29:03.640so i don't know if it's actually going to work but would you hit a bow no for a man never even
05:29:09.320you're not remove the first date thing from this let's say you're just you've been dating a guy for
05:29:14.040six months and all of a sudden he's like i'd like for you to bow to me would be hilarious i was gonna
05:29:20.920say something highly inappropriate but no well i don't i feel like bowing was instilled for like
05:29:27.000people that were a lower social class and stuff right kingdoms things like that that's what's up
05:29:32.840would he bow to the girl like she was like it's not money but if she were to be cooking every day
05:29:37.640for him even if it is money let's be honest sometimes women make a lot of money too if she
05:29:43.080because sure the if they're like traditional like men bring money to the table but like women bring
05:29:48.920something else to the table like yeah nurturing loving yeah exactly like would you bow to the female
05:29:53.160for if she's but the man's doing everything that desire for a woman to do i think bowing is a
05:29:58.280posture it's like a thank you if you're gonna expect the woman's a way of life for just bringing
05:30:03.320like but that's like breadwinner of the family but you're not gonna about her for if she's hitting
05:30:07.080everything that's why she's gonna bow hold on but okay we're just going like you want the guy to
05:30:13.080pay for the first date you won't hit a bow you want a guy to die for you you won't hit a bow
05:30:17.320like that's like equality the thing is like traditionally speaking like in in the history
05:30:27.000historically speaking women they're they had incredible respect for men because of what the
05:30:33.720role that they played the provider the protector i'm going to make sure that you have a safe place
05:30:38.600to raise our children so that you can create the next generation and continue my legacy there's like
05:30:44.120incredible respect that was given to men because of that that's traditionally and so when you expect
05:30:51.000men to provide on the first date by paying i'm not saying it has to be a bow but there's like
05:30:57.880he doesn't i want the bow i want the bow oh you want the bow i want the bow i i influenced you
05:31:03.160you definitely yeah but like it's that's a tangible way to show that you respect the man for the role
05:31:09.320that he plays i would find it endearing i would definitely if i asked for it i was like yeah
05:31:14.280what's up babe let me see about real quick super serious about it because that's kind of concerning
05:31:18.760if you're like no like bow like if they were it seems like you're pretty serious about them paying for
05:31:23.640the first date i would impress it i would it's not like something no no no i'm not saying like uh i'm
05:31:28.360i will not you must bow yeah if it was like hostile like coming here's here's the here's the frame
05:31:37.560right we want if we ask we and okay we ask we want you to want to do it yeah yeah yeah it's not like
05:31:46.920us to pay for the date we don't want to have to ask but it would be very beneficial but an asian
05:31:53.880culture males and females bow to each other that's a keeper right there nice and asian
05:31:58.920culture men and females bow to each other it's a sign of mutual respect i'm such a white guy i'm
05:32:03.400sorry so that's what i was trying to get at when i was saying earlier how thing if your wife is doing
05:32:08.200everything that you want her to like in traditional form what you would want her to do it's like a
05:32:11.800mutual like she brings 50 of it into the relationship if he brings 50 yeah you're bringing different
05:32:16.200aspects he might be the breadwinner but she's doing everything else that you'd want her to do i
05:32:20.680understand you like see that as her respecting you by like so wait you want you want the guy to do
05:32:25.640the bow no i'm just saying that if they're doing she was saying that in asian culture they both bow
05:32:31.320because they respect what each each other brings to the table that's not that's not why they do it
05:32:35.720men bow to other men in asian culture i don't know the details i don't know the details
05:32:39.080i don't think women want the guy to bow to them though no i want to be a leader that's the whole
05:32:46.200point though is that women are a man opening a man opening a door do you want to like peg a guy
05:32:52.040too oh my god what are you talking about you just said you wanted a woman i don't know you just to
05:32:56.600bow to you how is it different i got an intuition a man a man opening a door for a woman is the
05:33:01.960equivalent no i would not you want to bend i'm sick of this you want to dominate a man i'm sick of this
05:33:07.160you want to dominate all right we didn't get around to say like let's say you pay for the date so
05:33:12.600then i bow but the next day she cooks the meal are you bound nope because the man is supposed to
05:33:17.800the bow back no man is supposed to be the leader and the woman is supposed to submit to him in a
05:33:22.200traditional relationship therefore like if he's bowing to you it's not like a mutually equal that's
05:33:27.320like more feminist ideology so ideally that's the situation if a woman cooked for me like i would do
05:33:35.640a ton for her i wouldn't bow but like i would give his life i would give my life you give his life
05:33:40.600anyways you make me a sandwich i'll jump in front of a ball around the table did everybody answer on
05:33:45.400the bow thing i think you said no yeah i said no madison would you bow left and right wait did you
05:33:52.120hit a bow i told you to hit a bow for frankie i told you i did oh you did but i okay to be fair
05:33:56.920i don't yeah i don't think he got the right message because i did do this one about and then
05:34:01.560he bowed back because he thought we were gonna play ninja or something frankie's a simp
05:34:06.600not but no would you hit a bow i'd hit a bow but i'd i'd hope he'd hit a bow back eventually
05:34:13.480in a funny way yeah but not serious yeah i'd hit a curtsy yeah no i would i asked him i asked my
05:34:19.080boyfriend about this though he was like no i wouldn't want you to do that and but i think of it like
05:34:24.800you know if i were to say hey it would make me feel really respected and special if you did x whatever
05:34:32.400you know i think in relationships like that kind of conversation happens a lot okay but yeah i would
05:34:38.320i kind of make a joke now to him like i'll randomly be like i bow to you alissa can you read this video
05:34:43.360so if the man should pay for the first date should the man be expected for the first time
05:34:48.640and birth control if not who pays the consequence what should the man be expecting
05:34:54.720for the first time men can't get pregnant bro um can't be expected expected to get some for the
05:35:02.720first time yeah no i don't that's that's like expected to pay for like a plan b or something
05:35:08.880is that what he's trying to get at and like birth control because he's talking about buying it for
05:35:11.920them i don't really understand the question maybe could you clarify um i don't yeah i don't understand
05:35:18.960the question i'm sorry ben could you try to clarify a little bit okay more notes more notes oh man this
05:35:23.920could be okay i'll try to i'm gonna get through these quick uh hold on uh okay the we did the two
05:35:32.320man thing talking stage splitting the bill do guys ever get over their first love we're gonna skip that
05:35:37.760no offense uh hot takes if it were the right person it would be the right time what does that mean
05:35:43.520i think a lot of times like we try to like deflect why a relationship didn't work out we were like
05:35:49.360oh like he was the right person but it just wasn't the right time he was in the right place but i think
05:35:54.320if it is the right person he's gonna make an effort for it to be the right time and a lot of people are
05:36:00.160like delusional about that and they keep making up excuses for you and then the next thing is lasting
05:36:05.920too long as a guy during sex is a real thing we were talking about this because i feel like it's just
05:36:11.600like a sign of like them being addicted to porn if they last too long yeah okay because i feel like
05:36:17.600they're like oh look closer to the mic i feel like it's like a sign of that because what are they doing
05:36:24.240like i did have an experience with a guy where he like lasted way too long and i had asked him about
05:36:30.880it because i don't know i was like maybe this is like a me problem but he said that like he had like
05:36:35.520had like a year where he would just like edge like all the time oh for fun like to train himself
05:36:42.960or something and now it's like a problem and so uh how long did he last like an hour lord that's
05:36:52.640pretty pretty long i guess yeah you guys you said you were talking about with your girlfriends though
05:36:57.520have you had that yeah no what's like okay so going around the table really quick quick answer like
05:37:02.320what's the um ideal period of time for a uh encounter to last you think god
05:37:12.000it depends i would say for me no more than half an hour because god my body can't take it okay
05:37:20.080maddie can i skip this question if you don't want to answer that's fine god i'm not if you don't
05:37:25.360want to answer that's fine any girls any other girls no answer no comment no comment yeah i don't
05:37:31.200want to answer either oh okay for how long i don't know well i feel like it's different for
05:37:37.840every encounter that yeah i think there's definitely sometimes a quickie can be good
05:37:42.720the lower you get to there's more factors involved so yeah yeah i mean women don't stay
05:37:49.040wet forever too so i mean yeah you're gonna it just depends yeah some men have
05:37:54.160a lot of issues and it depends on the interaction it depends on like what's going on situation
05:37:59.120you guys are talking about just penetration then that's like a whole different i think like a sod
05:38:03.280like 30 seconds is pretty good though yeah wait did you say yes no i did wait yeah you agree okay
05:38:12.640well i speaking of double standards what the fuck was that that fucking fly came for me wait did you
05:38:18.720lose something nick you're just like that's weird okay speaking of double standards why is it that
05:38:29.360when a man premature ejaculates that's bad but it's good for a woman like if she comes too quick so
05:38:39.520unfair how's that unfair the man's relieved because he got her off and she's the more yeah she's the more
05:38:46.800complicated one to get to orgasm women take on average like 20 minutes just takes longer bad
05:38:53.840joke like okay hold on for example would you agree though like if it's too like if a guy comes too
05:39:00.080quick though that's also a problem right oh she okay i don't know like three pumps what if you're
05:39:08.800what if you don't get satisfied like what if you're not satisfied but he went on there's other
05:39:12.480though no i know but i i but that wasn't the question you said like if he's done fast well
05:39:17.680comes fast if it happens every single time like maybe there's something we can talk about but talk
05:39:23.440about talk about a boot sorry uh because like no i don't think there's any guy there's no guy who's
05:39:31.520like i wish she didn't come so fast said no man ever you know i i don't it's a relief i don't usually say
05:39:40.240that about men in the past i think men have to deal with all of this stigma of like oh my gosh
05:39:48.400there's so many nerve endings and whatever how could you possibly not make a woman orgasm but it
05:39:52.640is complex women get in their brain a lot more it's not just mechanical yeah like it's very different
05:39:58.800i heard an interesting thing that you said and i don't know if i can say it go ahead well you said
05:40:03.520about like not going down on women in one of your things yeah and i found that interesting because like
05:40:08.080i personally find that to be like some like a too intimate thing so i don't know i just found
05:40:12.720that interesting that you feel that way well okay so my i mean when it comes to sex i want her to come
05:40:17.280first yeah but there's other ways to do it than yeah than that but like no matter what i wanted to come
05:40:24.400first then i can go but that's the ideal yeah it's crazy though i mean some of these women
05:40:30.240got like multiple orgasms come after like three seconds shit's crazy son
05:40:36.640yep it's good it's good double standards though if a guy's like busting after three seconds that's
05:40:41.920not most women are not going to be satisfied with that well then he's kind of like actually
05:40:46.960right huh ladies can what go ahead say it say it i just say that multiple if it's that fast and he's
05:40:52.480like out of commission like he can do like you know like oh like rebound like yeah exactly well
05:40:56.880like girls if they finish first like technically like you can like you can just you can like
05:41:02.480continue you can technically keep going like the guy like he's done then he's done yeah like you
05:41:08.640can do other things but he can't necessarily just okay yeah hop back to it you know yep yep good times
05:41:14.640good times uh sorry no it's all good okay uh last okay lasting too long bad friends with benefits
05:41:23.920never works you've had the friends with benefits didn't work no okay you're just from your you see
05:41:29.440it from your friends yeah you said the situationship is only a situationship to one person and nothing
05:41:34.160to the other yeah i think if you're in a situationship it's only that to you and then the other person
05:41:40.720obviously doesn't see it that way or else he would just take you serious three you said there's a
05:41:44.640three-month rule if he doesn't ask you to be his girlfriend within three months of you guys talking
05:41:47.920he'll never ask oh yeah i don't think so because at that point he's just dragging you along because
05:41:54.800you're gonna let him well actually i think the woman should ask for the relationship not the man
05:42:00.320really yeah yeah i don't think so yep in what way like you like what ask him to be your boyfriend
05:42:06.320like is that what you like yeah that should be on you and why wait why yeah both of you tell us well
05:42:11.680generally speaking i would argue now this maybe not might not really apply to me because i'm pretty
05:42:18.640like i'll laser focus in and like i'll bring it there but uh if your desirous of commitment of being
05:42:31.360whatever if you want monogamy you want commitment you want to be his girlfriend you want him to be your
05:42:36.320boyfriend you should probably push for that well that's why that's also pressure they don't know
05:42:42.800if the man feels the same way yeah well better find out sooner than later right yeah but i think
05:42:47.920there's also like a stigma around it especially if you like being our age like stigma like a like a
05:42:53.120way people like view it at least how guys view it if you're like especially at our age like if you're
05:42:58.480in a talking stage with someone and it's like going on forever like to the guy you might just be like
05:43:03.520someone he's talking to like if you're texting him first like he's texting someone else first
05:43:08.000but i want to i do actually want to give this advice to women um so you can just entirely avoid
05:43:14.400a situationship or just getting strung along or just being like used as a uh for sex um
05:43:23.600you shouldn't be do this thing of like well i'm gonna wait a couple months and then like check in
05:43:28.400uh that's how you get into a situationship just be super up front but ask him on the
05:43:33.520fucking if you really you should only i i think women you should only date a guy who you have the
05:43:39.520who you see yourself having those feelings for who you will have those feelings for but you also want
05:43:45.040him to have those feelings for you so i think very quickly early on you should be like put the
05:43:51.440pressure on i did that and i got let on yeah well he would like crack under pressure and he would
05:43:58.640respond to me and everything but he just like wasn't there and also i feel like and that's
05:44:03.680actually like that's it i was i was like talking to him he was just responding that's it but if he's
05:44:07.680scared if he's scared away then i don't think he's really like don't you want to like be with someone
05:44:15.360that like really fucking likes you and you really fucking like them do you want to be in the
05:44:20.320situation where you're like you're on the fence about them they are on the fence about you don't
05:44:24.800you want that like mutual like really strong desire yeah but if a man is initiating the first date or a
05:44:32.400man is asking for marriage then wouldn't the man also say i have i think i feel like i'm developing
05:44:37.680really strong feelings can we have this conversation like why is it only the i think it's obviously a
05:44:42.560mutual thing once again where you're communicating you're saying like hey we're really hitting it off and
05:44:47.600whatever and you may open the topic and the conversation but not necessarily being the one
05:44:53.920that's putting the pressure and saying when are you going to give me the girlfriend title or when
05:44:58.080are you gonna like we we hear a lot about i mean i see a lot about it people women putting pressure
05:45:03.600on like when are when's the rock where's the rock where's the and and there's like a negative
05:45:08.480connotation to it so i mean that's i think that you know pushing for the you know that is a bigger
05:45:15.360commitment than just pushing for like let's be monogamous let's be exclusive fuck you can ask
05:45:20.480that real quick as a woman yeah but if we're not asking if we're not wired to ask those other things
05:45:25.760then how could you expect for us to ask the one in the middle do you get what i'm saying like i am
05:45:30.720wired to ask those but what problem is that when i do even when i've tried to date a man who says he
05:45:35.680has these more traditional values and he's like oh yeah we're really hitting it off and he's so in and
05:45:40.560it's all the way it's like it's it's so mutual um then i say okay i'm deleting the apps i want
05:45:47.040to be with you like let's do this and then he's like oh this is a lot um i don't know if i can
05:45:52.080handle this and even the men who say they're so traditional and it's like happened to me this is
05:45:58.640why i've been single for so long even when i've been trying to date again because they just ghost
05:46:03.040they ghost so it's really hard to find the guy if the guy really likes you oh well yeah sure if the guy
05:46:09.520really likes you and you start leaning on him yeah on the third date and you lean on him like hey i
05:46:16.960want commitment i want monogamy i want boyfriend girlfriend relationship and he's like i don't
05:46:23.200know he's just not that into i think he kind of just wants to keep you around for sex for a couple
05:46:27.520months and then like i look i know it seems like whoa it's a bit too much too soon but if he really
05:46:34.080likes you and you fucking lean on him and it's like yeah okay i might lose this chick if i like
05:46:40.640well the last time that i like hooked up with somebody it was kind of a situation like that
05:46:45.360and then and that was the time i decided i'm not doing this anymore like i am not hooking up with
05:46:50.960some guy before we have this thing figured out like what we both want where where this might be going
05:46:56.800because it hurts like it hurts terribly when that happens and then you're right he just wants to keep you
05:47:02.240on the line for sex and yeah look and i think relationships can also develop on a slower
05:47:08.400timeline too you can start out a bit more casual maybe there's even other people in the picture
05:47:12.880and it could eventually get to you know something more serious it happens all the time but i personally
05:47:19.280i take perhaps maybe this is a radical approach like i prefer moving i prefer erring on the side of
05:47:25.600moving a bit too quickly than too slowly yes and so like if i really like a girl like i don't know
05:47:34.400you should go for it yeah i'm not gonna do this like fence sitting thing you know yeah and and i but
05:47:40.000i think women haven't even should be even more motivated because like men like a lot of men hey if
05:47:45.920we can be sleeping with a bunch of random chicks at the same time not random but if we can like have a
05:47:50.880roster whatever yeah they'll do it but like as a woman i feel like most women some women are fine
05:47:56.720with that i guess i feel like most y'all don't want to really be around with multiple dudes no i think
05:48:02.400most women don't want that i do not i could be wrong i don't know but that's why i think there's
05:48:09.360that's why if it's more important for you as a woman to get the commitment i mean i'm giving you advice
05:48:13.760for from for the women here like lean on lean heavy on the dude lean heavy all right i will
05:48:24.160moving on we have macy here oh wait actually last thing with you you said you shouldn't be getting
05:48:29.200left on delivered for hours he just doesn't care it's like you text him and he's just not responding
05:48:33.440yeah a lot of girls will be like oh he left me on delivered for like 15 hours he's just busy he's
05:48:38.000just like doing this would you ever leave guys on delivered or do you respond right away i'll leave
05:48:42.000them on delivered if i don't care about them yeah well so then they don't care about you then
05:48:45.760yeah exactly well actually that's not true like my friends even who will be like making excuses for
05:48:52.400guys who will leave them on delivered for hours at a time and i'm just like he really just doesn't
05:48:55.840care about you yeah yeah they'll prioritize if they want to it's just like any business unless they
05:49:00.640have like legitimate reasons obviously i actually my perspective on this as somebody who's like
05:49:05.760incredibly busy uh yeah i'm leaving you on i'm leaving i'm not responding yeah but these college
05:49:10.960guys aren't yeah in terms of the people that we're talking they're not like they're on their
05:49:15.360phones like they're just deciding not to respond some of them will be like oh i'm just not on my
05:49:19.680phone like that like that's not true you just don't care yeah and if they really do care then they
05:49:24.240would take the time that two seconds out of the day that it would take to respond but i i definitely
05:49:28.720like i could genuinely really like a girl and like take forever to respond well i think it's different
05:49:34.240that's a little yeah 18 year olds are very different sure uh macy you said if you met
05:49:38.640them on the dating app he's not your man you're just on the roster but wouldn't this apply the
05:49:42.480other way around too yeah i think it would well yeah no like so so many of my couples met on dating
05:49:50.400apps i agree and i think from the college like a lot of this is from the college somewhere it did
05:49:56.640start somewhere but especially with dating apps like like tinder like the people on that that are on
05:50:02.640there at our age they're not looking for like long-term relationships and they are like not
05:50:06.880necessarily going on like first dates with people but they're swiping and talking to like every
05:50:11.920single match like it's not like and they're being direct they're asking right away hey you're pretty
05:50:16.960and you say hey thanks dtf yeah like really i get that literally men that will sit at a table and
05:50:23.760super swipe no literally and i've seen someone do that i'm like what yeah and i think it's like
05:50:29.040there has been like i feel like i've definitely been hearing about it more often like
05:50:32.320not a whole lot of people but some of my friends um that are a little bit older like they'll say that
05:50:36.320they've been like they met a guy on a dating app and they were hooking up for a really long time and
05:50:39.840then it turned into a relationship but that like really doesn't often happen like that's definitely
05:50:44.240that's rare yeah yeah it's rare and i feel like people who go on to dating apps like that and are like
05:50:50.000like religiously hooking up with this like one guy like he's probably also hooking up with other
05:50:53.680people and they'll think that it's eventually going to get there but like nine times out of ten it's not
05:50:58.160ever going to get there the other thing you said you said if you hook up on the first day or night
05:51:02.320you're never going to be more than that so you're just kind of stern um my message um yeah i mean
05:51:07.280we were discussing this last night and i just feel like if they're gonna hook up with you on the first
05:51:11.840date then they don't like really respect like they'll well you put it well sorry god i just said that
05:51:19.440personally like if i like hypothetically were to pick up hook up with a guy i just think he
05:51:26.880doesn't like respect me and it's vice versa you know i'm not gonna throw it down and say oh like
05:51:33.840he should respect me or i respected him because i slept with him first like no i just that's my
05:51:38.320personal opinion if you disagree and you think he respects you then i agree honestly like if you're on
05:51:43.680the first date and he's like trying to make a move like that that's kind of like okay like you don't
05:51:48.560respect me and it's all it's on the girl too no i actually disagree on this but okay i have more
05:51:53.840experience let us know yeah i was just gonna say like from the girl's perspective too like if you
05:51:58.320end up doing it like you just have to understand that like it's not gonna don't expect it don't
05:52:03.360expect it you can't expect them to be doing that with like every first sure exactly well but here's
05:52:08.800the thing right it's not clear to me if you were to make that guy wait for this till the second date
05:52:14.000third date fourth date fifth date however long you make him wait obviously you know the some men
05:52:19.600just are not gonna wait for example like three months or something um but it's not clear to me that
05:52:27.120he would then take you into consideration for a long-term relationship even if you made him wait
05:52:34.800i think and i've talked to a few guys and just to add one thing even the guy let's say the guy
05:52:40.000would want a long-term relationship with you but you sleep with him on the first date it's not clear
05:52:45.600to me if that would be a like that would preclude that would then all of a sudden he would totally
05:52:52.320shift and not want to be in a long-term relationship with you yeah because there's i understand where
05:52:56.960you're coming from and i know we also talked about like the box theory like if he met you like you know
05:53:01.120what's that they like people say like guys like they'll put you in a box when they first meet you like
05:53:05.440the girlfriend box or like the hookup box and it's hard to like switch boxes um but just like
05:53:10.720even talking from guys that we like know that are our age it they'll even say like if they're hooking
05:53:15.600up with the girl like on the first date and she'll like agree to hook up with them then she's not like
05:53:19.760girlfriend material like she's probably sleeping with all these guys yeah some people do have
05:53:23.760certainly something that comes with age i think that comes with age honestly because i i also disagree i
05:53:29.200think i have plenty of girlfriends that are in their 30s that have told me like
05:53:33.040like first date sex and they've had like long-term committed relationships even got married you
05:53:39.120know it's just you have to use your discernment your discretion and see like is the connection there
05:53:43.680but i would not advise most women to do that because i think most of the time it's not going
05:53:48.800to pan out into something why women like it goes both ways i think i think people are you like especially
05:53:54.800women i i was told to read a book by some of my girlfriends early in the dating um journey and i felt
05:54:02.480like everything i was hearing was like this power play of women abstaining or withholding sex
05:54:08.640but only to kind of like egg on and get more and more investment from the man into the relationship
05:54:16.080which i don't necessarily agree with either like that's like a bargaining chip i i agree with you on
05:54:22.320this i mean i've had most of almost actually all of my long-term relationships i've had a five-year
05:54:29.280two-year one year like you know some some that were shorter six months nine months i don't know
05:54:33.760if i call consider those fully long-term relationships uh all these women that i had
05:54:39.680good relation you know sometimes relationships don't always you know continue on forever but they
05:54:44.320can still have been good right relationships um it wasn't like oh let's wait three months it was like
05:54:51.120typically like first second or third date we had sex well yeah for all my long-term relationships
05:54:57.040and then i've had you know shorter term things where you know wait wait five dates and then
05:55:05.440doesn't go anywhere too so um i uh i don't i mean i think there would be better indicators than like
05:55:13.520how quickly i think the a bigger thing would be like where are you meeting them so like yeah if
05:55:19.840if like you're at a uh like a party in isla vista you're at you know you're at a frat party and the guy
05:55:25.600wants to hook up with you that night yeah obviously but if the guy like if the uh the context in which
05:55:32.640you're meeting is perhaps like i don't know you've been talking for a while maybe he um you met in
05:55:38.320class or something i think the context there is a bit different because you've built essentially a
05:55:44.000friendship or relationship yeah i mean i certainly wouldn't make somebody wait forever to sleep with
05:55:48.720me but i would just want to know it's going beyond maybe one date i mean unless there's like insane
05:55:53.680chemistry but in my experience like i've had those moments and it did not pan out and i had hurt
05:55:59.600feelings after because i can't sleep with somebody without having some degree of feelings involved it's
05:56:03.680just who i am yeah like if for example if i if i met a girl and i'm like i like this girl
05:56:11.440i see potential long-term uh you know i mean it's possible after it's possible after we hook
05:56:19.600up then the crazy comes out or something but like right i mean i don't think if i had her in the like
05:56:27.440in relationship i mean i don't even have like a hookup category though for me like if i have sex
05:56:33.040with a girl i'm gonna see her again absent her doing some crazy shit like post-sex like she'd have
05:56:39.440to try to stab me or some shit i don't know i guess i would then i wouldn't see her again if
05:56:43.440she tried to stab me has not frequently been my experience if i've done it uh quickly i'll say that
05:56:49.600but it's not impossible it just has not been my personal experience but i would yeah for me it
05:56:54.240wouldn't be but i mean like if there's an undeniable connection like of course like you're i'm human i
05:56:59.680would like to it's hard to not want to explore that with someone if you feel like it's there but then i
05:57:04.720also wouldn't like refuse to continue seeing a girl if she was like well i want to wait a little
05:57:10.080bit yeah although i wouldn't i don't think i would be down to wait like some crazy extended period of
05:57:14.720time yeah especially especially if she's had sex with guys quickly previous to me then i'm like okay
05:57:21.920hold on what's going like i mean you're entitled you're entitled you could you could have had sex with
05:57:27.120you could have had sex with a hundred men on the first date and then you roll the dice and you land
05:57:32.720on me and then you want to wait until marriage you're allowed to do that as a woman to say well
05:57:38.880all the other guys i dated i fucked them right away but now that i want a relationship with you
05:57:44.080i want to wait six months i want to wait there's not a high likelihood that that would happen i feel
05:57:47.680like well actually there's a lot of well especially women involved in the church who yes yes used to be
05:57:54.000promiscuous but then now they were you know born again okay now you want to wait until marriage
05:57:59.200um well the one thing i would say to that is that yeah that's a loaded that's a loaded combo but i
05:58:04.880agree but the one thing i would say to that is that um like in that context i think it would
05:58:10.480really depend how recently in the past those like a million guys she slept with right away kind of
05:58:15.760thing is um how much time there's been between that because sure i think if somebody's having some
05:58:21.120like massive religious conviction like you have to like you can't always hold somebody to their past or
05:58:26.080else they'll never grow and learn but i do understand you being like well why the hell
05:58:30.400should i wait if no one else ever had to you know so i can understand both sides i do think you can
05:58:37.200you absolutely can hold people to their past your past has consequences yes now can you be redeemed
05:58:44.320like if we're talking from like a christian worldview you can absolutely be redeemed and turn your life
05:58:49.920around yes but men are not obliged yeah you know to accept that and yes essentially be forced no no
05:59:00.080and they shouldn't be and they shouldn't be obliged and they shouldn't be forced but i do think it's
05:59:04.080just you know well i mean there's so there's forgiveness in christianity but uh there's also the
05:59:10.720fact that like those things are still going to cause like those sins in your life are going to cause you
05:59:17.760hardship yes sin is negative in your life it's going to be negative effects are going to come
05:59:22.800with that yeah so you you have to understand both those things moving to natalie that's how you say
05:59:29.440your name right natalia natalia you wanted to talk about aftercare what did you mean we did these all
05:59:35.680together a lot of them are like the same basically like just like the concept of aftercare like with
05:59:41.440hookups yeah do you guys know aftercare is like cuddling like he just tells you are you talking
05:59:46.720no like after you're talking like bdsm what is that like whoa well i thought aftercare was in the
05:59:55.600context of like bdsm no there's like a concept but at least for like i feel like in hookup culture
06:00:01.600it's like there's this thing well it probably originates from bdsm but okay so it's nothing crazy
06:00:07.760it's just so basically uh explain it yeah explain that um okay so aftercare basically is like
06:00:14.960you hook up with someone or you could even be in a relationship and it's like you have like a sex
06:00:19.680and everything and it's not just an immediate like all right like get up let's go like throw a towel
06:00:25.840on you no it's like a cuddling like just like reassurance i guess bonding it's a love after
06:00:32.560oh and then just love bombing it is love bombing wait why are you looking at me mads because you
06:00:37.600were looking at me no you started you started looking so you're talking about like the expectations
06:00:42.320even if it's just a hookup like there needs to be a little bit something no i feel like we actually
06:00:45.840it's a hot take that like you don't want like if you're gonna hook up i feel like it's a really big
06:00:52.560thing here even when you're in a way in a relationship that's different if you're in a
06:00:57.680relationship yeah wait so you guys are saying if you guys are hooking up with a guy you don't want
06:01:02.400the guy to like do all those affectionate like post-sex cuddle like that kind of if the guy knows
06:01:08.240that he's not gonna be like actually like interested in you after and like trying to pursue you in a
06:01:12.880relationship form and you hook up with this guy and he like crazily love bombs you like it's telling
06:01:17.600you like you're all this and that and then like the next day is just like bye like this is like not
06:01:22.480chatting you ever again like it's just i feel like it builds this delusion for a lot of girls
06:01:31.440that they'll like start hyping up this guy and then they're like hooked on this person
06:01:34.720when really he was just doing that to like do it in the moment it's just it's not like a terrible
06:01:39.440thing but so what would be some examples of like aftercare it would be after you like sleep with the
06:01:45.200guy like you're there and he's just like love bombing you like telling you you're all like you're
06:01:50.240amazing and you're all this and that and like acting almost acting like he's your boyfriend
06:01:53.600for the night or whatever time span you're in and then just like pretending like he doesn't even
06:01:58.960know you the next day like he's gonna give you all this attention and all this like uh like admiring
06:02:04.160you is it but so what's the context of the hookup do you are you guys just meeting at a party yeah like
06:02:08.480they're meeting you at a party and then you're like going home like in that sense you know
06:02:12.480i'm assuming there's like i mean there's probably been alcohol yeah uh well i mean a lot of people
06:02:17.680like will do these hookups maybe the both men women maybe it's pure i don't know uh guys like
06:02:25.760cuddling too i guess but same with you like if they're like what's the example of after care that
06:02:31.440these guys are doing like what we just said like cuddling and like just being overly effective i don't
06:02:36.640think we would say and what about you no yeah it's the same thing i just don't want them to be doing
06:02:42.160that if like they don't actually care but so just to be clear you'd prefer the guy i'd to just like
06:03:02.480like like literally come and then just immediately just stop stop and be like you can leave no
06:03:11.200your uber's outside the best form after would be like pay for my uber home like that would be like
06:03:17.680oh no but like i would be like so offended we're talking in college context here if it's a hookup you're
06:03:24.400at a party you're drunk you hook up with this guy it's a mutual agreement that all right let's get on
06:03:28.400our way pretend this never happened but the thing is i think a lot of like a lot of it's like a sad
06:03:33.680attempt to make it not emotional yeah one of our friends like fully expects it and she gets upset
06:03:40.320if he doesn't like provide aftercare but at the end of the day you met him at a party he didn't owe
06:03:44.640you aftercare you guys aren't well i yeah i don't think i don't think you're owed aftercare but like
06:03:49.040the also the opposite side that's like inhumane to not do it though it's like why are you even
06:03:54.240connecting sexually if there's no we're also talking about in a sense of you're going to a
06:04:00.160party you're just hooking up yeah like obviously it's not going to go anywhere yeah and you said
06:04:05.840it's inhumane for them not to do it which like i do understand your viewpoint on that but i feel like
06:04:10.880it's almost like it hurts more for them to do it because they give you all this hype that like they
06:04:15.120think you're like this and they're into you and then like for them to just like don't hook up with
06:04:20.160i think yeah i don't think alcohol should be involved at all like meaning that i don't like
06:04:29.440maybe once you're dating like i agree yeah you have a night out whenever you both go home together
06:04:34.640yeah i think just putting alcohol in the i i mean i think it's but i don't know i think it's
06:04:41.040definitely a hot take well for the but so you would prefer you just hooked up with the guy for the guy to
06:04:47.920be like you don't exist by i don't want it to be i don't want it to be too dickish but he's just
06:04:57.200like he literally like he comes gets up and he's like uh yeah you can go no it's not the context we
06:05:05.360were talking about though it's like if it did happen where he did do that i'm not going to be like
06:05:10.160upset and like hold it against him because you'd be more upset if he treated you no it's not that he
06:05:15.360treated you well it's that he like i love it he's love bombing you like it's totally you just want
06:05:19.520him to be up front yeah it's but it's but if it is love bombing if it's just sex what difference does
06:05:25.600it really make because i think the thing is we can delude ourselves into thinking during these hookups
06:05:30.000because i've done them we delude ourselves into thinking like we can separate our feelings if this
06:05:34.880happens or that happens or whatever most of the time as a woman subconsciously even if you're not
06:05:40.560aware of it you have those feelings innately regardless of whether he cuddles you or whether
06:05:45.120he doesn't it's i think it's very hard to separate sex from feelings i think some women might be okay
06:05:51.280with this but i think it would actually be a terrible advice to give men yes because like
06:05:56.080if you're going to just like they're not saying like disrespect we're not saying like
06:06:00.400but it would respectfully just like help her like it was nice to meet you or like she could like like
06:06:06.560yeah i think respectfully it would be like don't take her to bed if you don't have intentions
06:06:13.280i completely agree with that but like in the context of like like i love this pop culture yeah
06:06:21.280like it's bad one way or like whatever this is just like a hot take we have and in like
06:06:25.680the context of how like isla vista works and how like people in this community
06:06:33.360it's just like we're kind of just saying like we like if you're gonna do that you have to be
06:06:36.800realistic like as a girl like you can't have false hope that this hookup is gonna yeah and we are
06:06:41.120talking about like the delusion but it's very hard it's very hard for a woman to separate those that
06:06:47.440false hope it's very hard to separate your feelings from a sexual encounter no matter what you
06:06:51.280you're gonna discard her just be up front with it like yeah don't like from the from the jump
06:06:56.160exactly and let the woman decide okay like i'm cool with it yeah and then go we agree with you
06:07:01.440we're just saying like that doesn't happen either way it should be a conversation beforehand i would
06:07:06.320think like this is just sex and that's it be respectful no we think you should but like we're
06:07:12.960saying that as a girl you can't get mad if they don't yeah like obviously if it does
06:07:17.360like this is like totally contradictory yeah let me read this from ben george he said trying to
06:07:22.560clarify or alissa could you read it oh yeah trying to clarify if the man is to pay for the first date
06:07:30.080because he asked for it is the man responsible if you get pregnant when do you bear some responsibility
06:07:35.840who pays the consequence a kid i don't know if i still really understand it so i mean if the man is
06:07:44.560to pay for the first date because he asked for it i think he's talking about like having to pay child
06:07:48.640support and stuff like that if the female decides to keep the kid well if you have consensual sex
06:07:54.800then you're it's a risk both people took for it yeah i don't know where it comes into like paying for
06:08:03.200the first date situation but because a kid is not the same as a first date but like i guess where i'm
06:08:08.160confused is he's saying like if the man pays for the first date like these are two separate things
06:08:16.880yeah that's where i'm confused so like one doesn't necessarily follow the other like yeah doesn't even
06:08:25.440compare i guess i could just generally ask you guys is the man responsible if you get pregnant
06:08:32.880is that the question i'm still confused i think it's mutual yeah yeah when does the man bear some
06:08:42.480responsibility i would say to an extent you know of course and it's like as much takes two people to
06:08:49.360have sex when you're going into it you know that that's might be a consequence i guess to his point
06:08:54.080it takes two people to go on a date yeah so or you're saying because i'm not making his argument i'm
06:08:59.760just like yeah yeah but because trying to be as charitable as possible well legally legally in the
06:09:05.120event of a child both both people would be responsible for the child so uh sorry ben george
06:09:13.120if that's not satisfactory but oh boy we got shit um hold on let's see here after care
06:09:21.840well what about if you're even dating the guy and he's your boyfriend but he's like
06:09:25.280oh that's that's different we just mean like sorry i didn't mean to interrupt just in the
06:09:32.320context of hookup culture because that is so big here it's like a falsehood and thinking that you're
06:09:36.640going to get more than you're going to get in a relationship then yeah aftercare is obviously
06:09:40.720important and making it it's a reassurance all right uh let's see moving on to alex here you said that
06:09:46.720uh let's see looking at my notes here i'd love you wanted to talk about submission you're all for it
06:09:57.040yeah okay yeah i just think that it's one of those things that everyone thinks it's such a terrible
06:10:07.040word and i'm just on the side of like i would submit to someone who's worthy of submission and that
06:10:14.960doesn't mean that like the bowing video like right because you said brian's idea of submission and
06:10:19.600bowing you wanted what did i say were you against it um or you're i think yeah i'm for it i think that
06:10:28.240people just assume like submission means that like you're a slave that you're in a dictatorship in a
06:10:33.520relationship but that's not that's not my viewpoint like i think i do i do agree with gender roles i do
06:10:40.880believe that men and women are created differently not you know one's more valuable than the other
06:10:46.720but um we are we are made with specific um roles to be fulfilled and that doesn't mean that like a
06:10:55.760boy has to like blue and a girl has to like pink like not like that but i think we're we're supposed
06:10:59.600to be a partnership although um the man should have the leadership role but that doesn't mean that the
06:11:07.280woman is like you know a zero in the equation right so um yeah i just wanted to touch on that i guess
06:11:17.040okay yeah and looking at your other notes here you said uh marriage is not just a contract actually
06:11:24.000first height difference what was your thing on that i think i was listening to one episode once
06:11:28.160here you just asked like about height difference and people caring a lot about that so i'm like i'm
06:11:32.7205'10 like i'm a tall girl so that's always been something i've thought about i've always wanted
06:11:36.960to be with a guy that's taller than me um but i will say that like as i've gotten older i've cared
06:11:44.000a lot less about that my boyfriend is taller than me he's like six two or three i don't know okay we'll
06:11:49.200go around the table really quickly on this uh how tall are you and what's the bare minimum height
06:11:54.000five six five nine and five three like five six five two five six five five five ten you say the
06:12:03.120minimum height that we would accept yeah what's your height bare minimum height my height's five
06:12:07.600foot four and i sorry five foot four and i would say like i don't know five five five six i'll take take
06:12:14.000it five three and five six okay we have uh i'm not going to be able to get to everybody's notes
06:12:23.760unfortunately so if any of you we could always have you some of you back to hit on everything but
06:12:28.480i will try to hit on a few for you two a few of your things and then we will try to wrap up here
06:12:34.160soon so let's see we have uh diana what you mentioned something about fail fast girl what's that
06:12:42.640um well you were kind of like talking about it even like you get to know someone you kind of explore
06:12:49.040like are we potentially a good match or not if not then done move on to like the next person to get
06:12:55.520to know them see if they're a good match whereas other people kind of just like prolong you know
06:13:02.240the dating process so so what is the fail what does that mean to be a fail fast girl well my i mean my
06:13:10.000girlfriends called me that in the beginning because they were like you need to give a you
06:13:13.360need to give guys a lot more time and whatnot and my position was i've gotten to know them
06:13:19.200in a conversation like i'm not interested there's no reason for me to give more time or dedicate more
06:13:23.360time to this you know dating situation okay uh let's see here then uh field uh looking at some of my
06:13:36.400notes i might come back to some of your stuff here in just a sec missy you said that you made a lot of
06:13:42.560bad decisions you're promiscuous you do agree with a lot of what the podcast is saying but i also think
06:13:49.360you say you also think that we fail to point out that everyone has character flaws even if they have
06:13:54.800low body counts and more importantly that there are ways that women and men but especially women can
06:13:58.880redeem themselves if you ever want to oh you'd be thrilled to okay uh you said you're a former far
06:14:05.760left now politically moderate conservative former feminist now someone who falls between center and
06:14:10.160traditional um i think we already talked about the redemption thing uh so i mean i don't know where
06:14:20.480what really the argument is but so um for example even if a woman has changed her life and stopped being
06:14:30.000promiscuous um i think a man can absolutely consider a woman's past promiscuity even if she stopped being
06:14:37.440promiscuous and disqualify her as a potential partner do you disagree with that i don't disagree
06:14:43.600with that but i do think that um i think that like context in that situation matters in terms of like
06:14:50.560is she screwing around people like a week ago like is is her promiscuous past like a week or a month ago or
06:14:56.800whatever like how long ago it is sure um i would also say like what she has done to sort of change
06:15:01.680her life but i do also think like a man's past is if he has been like promiscuous is as relevant in my
06:15:08.720opinion um i would i would consider like if a man's been with like 200 women i would also want to maybe
06:15:15.520disqualify him but i think it's like worthy of having a conversation i i think like some people do grow and
06:15:21.600change i think a lot of people don't and they carry a lot of that baggage with them um yeah i i think
06:15:28.320that's yeah and you said in the pre-show notes although i do have a high body count you said around
06:15:33.28060 yep uh i haven't actually had a lot of uh sex because the vast majority of those were maybe once or
06:15:39.520twice yeah person 95 of the sex you've had outside of a relationship was under the influence of alcohol yeah um
06:15:47.440um i think that like like in that sense like you guys have talked about pair bonds maybe not so much
06:15:53.600tonight but in the past um i feel like alcohol like sort of inhibits that a little bit like i
06:15:59.280personally don't really think of the people i've been with i don't feel like i have these like
06:16:03.440these horrible ties to them that i just can't shake or anything like that i don't know if i
06:16:08.160would carry all that into my relationship i think i've done in eight years of being single even if some
06:16:13.440of that i was still in addiction i've done a lot of work on myself and self-reflection to figure out
06:16:18.480what i've been doing wrong um i think a lot of people don't take that time they just jump from
06:16:23.280relationship to relationship or person to person and yeah so i take accountability for my past i i
06:16:28.880totally do i wish i could change it i wish i did something different but i didn't and i hope a man
06:16:33.520doesn't hold that against me someday got it and i have so many notes from you i know it's so late
06:16:39.520we can't that's all right if you're down we'd love to have you back sometime i would love that
06:16:43.040garrett i can make you a commitment that we'd be able to get through much more of it yeah i mean
06:16:48.240same with you potentially but just for you two since i have i wasn't able to get through all your
06:16:52.560notes just so i can give you each one last thing i guess um is there one specific topic or anything
06:16:57.840that you did provide in your notes that you would like to talk about and then i'll have you go after
06:17:01.600if there's one last thing that each of you would like to hit on i guess that i would just want to say
06:17:06.240like in terms of where we're at as a culture and a society with this hookup culture and modern dating
06:17:12.000i think that men need to have as much responsibility as women even if women are the gatekeepers of sex
06:17:16.960i think the way men conduct themselves in terms of trying to acquire that sex is as important as the
06:17:22.480women who are not gatekeeping so i think we're all responsible for the mess we're in and it's going to
06:17:27.360take all of us to live a little differently and to do things a little differently to change the mess we're
06:17:31.440in okay all right and anything from you um i think my like biggest and final thought and honestly like
06:17:40.400what i stand for the most is um i'm hoping that you know men as well but women specifically because
06:17:47.200i am a woman and i speak for myself that they really do you know get educated um learn about covert
06:17:54.480abuse learn about narcissistic abuse learn about healthy relationship communication strategies things like
06:18:00.720that um that way you can actually approach dating in a safe and in a um productive more productive way
06:18:10.080that way you know you have you you have less traumas that you bring into your later adult life you know
06:18:18.240so that's one one thing that i would say that i've really learned from my like fast and furious dating
06:18:25.120experience that's fair okay we're going to do a 10-minute segment here actually wait before i do
06:18:31.440that uh here we'll do it really quick uh we're going to do a chaos called the whatever chaos segment
06:18:38.240tts is now 20 for the last 10 minutes of the show so if any of you psychos out there want to send
06:18:43.840anything in uh the trigger is now 20 we'll do that for 10 minutes then we're going to wrap
06:18:48.640um if you can switch it up on twitch for any of the mods let me just make sure i change everything
06:18:55.120on here uh so you said uh body count 60 plus yeah uh no around 60 just right around question for the
06:19:02.240ladies uh would you object to a man caring about body count and i guess starting with you and then
06:19:06.880we'll go around the table caring caring a what caring about oh a woman's body count your body count
06:19:13.440do i think they should care do you would you object to it would you feel like that shouldn't matter
06:19:17.440it's insecure no i wouldn't you don't object i would not object to it i don't care therefore
06:19:22.960i think they should not care oh you don't care about a man's body count therefore so you would
06:19:27.440object then to if i understand correctly you would object to a man caring about body count yeah okay
06:19:35.920you would object to it um so you think men shouldn't care about a woman's body i think
06:19:40.880mutually yeah okay manson no what about you um i think nickelodeon donated 99 dollars lesson of the
06:19:50.240night hit that bow and don't come up till there's mayo in that mcchicken what the
06:19:56.240hit that now crazy glass i wouldn't i wouldn't object unless like if they had a really high one and then
06:20:03.680they were like upset about with their girlfriend because she had a high one i think that's like
06:20:07.840unfair and i would object yes but otherwise i wouldn't no totally you don't object okay so
06:20:14.160sorry ask the question again there's like so is it a problem if he cares do you object to men caring
06:20:20.080about women's body count oh i don't object loose energy donated 20 dollars you let him hit it raw
06:20:28.240this is you didn't have second thoughts now you're a single mom now you're a single mom you said i'm
06:20:34.480have his kids don't care if he's here or not now you're a single mom yep baby rage at the end of
06:20:40.720it at the end of his cts it was like a face i'm not sure i don't know um hold on one sec i'm getting
06:20:51.920a couple things changed up here we're doing this any while that's oh uh not yet hold on uh okay so going
06:21:00.160around the table once more what's your body count starting with you well i said around 60 i don't
06:21:06.160know the exact number i'm guessing sure that's that's it um i don't want to disclose do you want
06:21:11.440to give a if you don't want to give an exact number are you cool with like a range like there's no range
06:21:16.560it's not like above double digits i just don't want to talk i don't want to say it nope wait but hold on i
06:21:24.720i thought it doesn't matter it doesn't matter and this is why i'm not going to talk about it
06:21:29.760obviously if i talk about it with anyone it would be my person okay can i make a little amendment and
06:21:34.720just say but i haven't slept with i slept with two people in six years i just want to be clear it's
06:21:38.800not like a very recent thing uh going around the table with the question this is a pass is this a
06:21:45.280pass maddie okay what about you oh it's it's only two two two okay no comment pass range zero comments
06:21:59.360range range i give you opportunity for range no so i'm the only one who bared her soul
06:22:04.800are you gonna give us a range brian oh i don't share my body yes that's the one thing i had already
06:22:10.000pre-decided i fully object to that because i feel like if it's relevant and to ask people you should
06:22:16.560be made donated twenty dollars to the future cop that won't take a bullet would you help girl in
06:22:22.720orange get out of her terrible 14-year abusive relationship that she had five kids with
06:22:29.680how does anything to do with anything ben george donated twenty dollars sorry for being so confusing
06:22:36.800wish you all the best thank you ben george appreciate it you're legend ben george appreciate
06:22:43.360it you are a legend sir and a scholar thank you thank you sir thank you thank you very much
06:22:50.000uh let me check a couple things here uh any final thoughts from anybody else on the panel
06:22:56.240anything going once going twice i know we went late jayekin donated twenty dollars
06:23:04.160let the bear pay for the first date and take the bullet long mason congrats on your enrollment
06:23:10.640thanks jay i appreciate it yes congrats congrats man congrats yo jay wait we dude jay we showed your
06:23:17.040photo nick pull up the bear photo oh uh the the photo of the guy that was jay that's jay oh oh that's
06:23:24.080that's jay yeah he was like brian please i need to let's go j six hundred and ninety six six
06:23:30.080Sextillion nine hundred and sixty nine quintillion six hundred and ninety six quadrillion nine hundred and sixty nine trillion six hundred and ninety six billion nine hundred and sixty nine million six hundred and ninety six thousand nine hundred and sixty nine donated twenty dollars.
06:26:30.300Chris Charges against Blassie donated twenty dollars.
06:26:33.400Domestic terrorism is defined by law as involving criminal acts dangerous to human life on U.S. soil that appear intended to coerce a civilian population or influence or affect the government.
06:26:45.580Yeah, I thought the definition given here was a little strange.
06:46:57.700It's your ability to actually be able to effectively participate in the debate in the face of people who strongly disagree with you to actually be able to articulate good arguments.
06:47:26.700And I actually, like, I think I'm one of the first ones who really, like, I think when I first messaged Andrew, he had maybe 10,000 subscribers on YouTube.
06:48:07.280Just to give context, though, like, when it came to Andrew, right, I saw videos of him, and he, I was like, this guy's a fantastic debater.