In this episode of Whatever Dating Talk, host Brian Atlas and co-host Kiki introduce themselves, introduce their guests, and talk about gender identity and sexual identity issues. They also talk about their experiences with gender identity, and what it means to be a woman in the workplace.
00:00:00.000Welcome to the whatever dating talk podcast. Thank you for tuning in tonight. You could have been anywhere in the world, but you're here with me. I appreciate that. We're coming to you live from Santa Barbara, California every Sunday and Tuesday at 5 p.m. Pacific. I am your host, Brian Atlas. I'm joined by my co-host Kiki. Yep, she's back there. She's a bit shy.
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00:01:32.440I think, Nick, just once we move on from this, just refresh that page. We got merch shop.whatever.com. Stuff you can wear. To not be naked, don't be a criminal, get some merch. Follow us on Instagram at whatever.
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00:02:06.360If you can't catch the full shows, we have three clips channels. Links in the description. Go subscribe. Without further ado, we're going to have the guests introduce themselves. So please tell us your name, age, and occupation. Go ahead.
00:02:20.300Hi, I'm Zoe. I am a student at Santa Barbara City College. I'm majoring in psychology, and I'm 18.
00:02:28.18018. All right. Welcome. Hi, I'm Sam. I'm 18, and I also go to Santa Barbara City College, and I'm running track next semester, and my major is business entrepreneurship.
00:02:39.460What do you run for track? I run sprints. Sprints. Hurdles? No. No hurdling? No, can't. What about you?
00:02:46.960My name is Claire. I use she, they pronouns. I am 21 years old. I am a part-time nanny, a part-time research assistant, and a full-time student at UC Santa Cruz, from which I will be graduating next year, spring of next year, with a B.A. in politics and a B.A. in Spanish studies.
00:03:18.420They? I mean, it doesn't associate with one gender. I mean, I feel like this would be a longer conversation, but they doesn't associate with one gender or the other, because, I mean, essentially, gender is a social construct, so.
00:03:41.620Also, please provide your pronouns for us.
00:03:44.420Okay. I am a she all the way, so. My name is Alexa. I'm 27 years old, and I live, what else are we supposed to do? Oh, and I'm a project manager.
00:03:52.400Speak a little louder, please. Go ahead.
00:03:56.640I'm Emily, and I'm a student at Cuesta College in San Luis Obispo. I'm studying criminal justice, but I plan on going into probation once I graduate, if I graduate.
00:04:20.060Hi, my name is Sophia. I'm 24, and my occupation, I am the Southern California field representative for the Leadership Institute, and you can guess my pronouns. I'm sure you'll get it right, and if you don't, I don't care. I won't get offended.
00:42:52.480So, if gender and sex are two different things, and gender is a social construct, then what's the point of getting sex reassignment surgeries if you're transgender, other than, like, what is it called?
00:43:06.360Body dysphoric, body dysmorphia, which is, like, even if you're not transgender, you can have that.
00:43:16.100Like, what's the point of sex reassignment surgeries if gender and sex are two different things, and gender is a social construct?
00:43:22.700I think that's the issue that Brian and I were running into, is, like, yes, they are two different things.
00:43:27.660Gender is a construct, and sex is something factual and biological.
00:43:31.280But I think, and like we were saying, there are some aspects that you're not going to be able to change completely when it comes to your sex.
00:43:37.280But why try to change anything at all if gender and sex are separate, and gender is a social construct?
00:43:43.580Because people who are trans, they feel extremely uncomfortable and troubled by the fact that they still have biological parts of the gender they do not identify with.
00:43:53.620So, don't you think that we should be approaching that issue from the psychological point?
00:43:59.760Like, why do you feel uncomfortable instead of putting them through these drastic surgeries?
01:03:10.100Because guys, like, if you make yourself available to them, I'm free this day, they're going to take that opportunity, whereas women are typically not as flexible with –
01:03:18.720Yeah, I mean, but like I said, I also did it because it made me – it forced me to give multiple – like, different types of people a chance that maybe –
01:03:30.680Sure, but what you did, and I get flack for this, what you did is actually one of my arguments for why I think men should not pay for first dates.
01:03:41.340Because we don't – I don't want to feel like a sucker.
01:03:43.120I'm going on a date with you, and you just went on 10 dates in the past 10 days with 10 different men.
01:03:48.680Oh, you have a – you said you went on two dates in the night, so I'm going to go on a date with you, and then afterwards you have a date with another guy.
01:03:55.600I'm going to feel a certain type of way about that.
01:03:58.920So like this expectation of traditional treatment when you have so many options and you're dating so many people, it's like I'm not going to pay for you.
01:04:06.940I'm not going to be traditional when – like it's – I get that we're not – we wouldn't be exclusive, but if I found out, if I went on a first date with a chick and she saw a guy after me, you're not – yo, you're not getting any traditional treatment.
01:04:21.800Well, like I said, you can go on the date, and you – I actually am all for like going out and doing things that don't cost little to no money.
01:34:05.760So, I just think it depends on what kind of circles you're a part of, because in Christian circles, like, it's not common for women to be in their, like, what's it called?
01:34:13.900Their late 20s and be a virgin, looking for that one man that they're going to marry.
03:48:16.100female in power nine nine you're nine yeah i think i mean i mean it's kind of hardest i mean
03:48:24.940based on my own opinion not everyone's going to be attracted to me but i i don't think there are a
03:48:29.460lot of perfect tens out there and i think i'm a conventionally attractive person so so you're one
03:48:34.560point off of a ten i mean here okay i'm just gonna come out and say i'm just gonna come out and say
03:48:40.820it there are no tens or nines at this table that's your opinion that rating your looks like it's it's
03:48:49.080like looks are very subjective there's not exactly like a there's no like standard like there there is
03:48:55.300some degree of objectivity to it there is yes but like maybe i don't want to put myself in that
03:49:01.000standard maybe like my rating of it is not based on that standard well but okay so but you're here's
03:49:07.040the thing your perception of yourself does not determine how other people view you or see you in
03:49:13.100the world right but it said okay so here if i think i'm a billionaire but my bank account which is
03:49:21.740something that that's external if i have a hundred bucks in it i'm not a billionaire yeah obviously
03:49:28.980if okay if if i was obese and honestly look i'm no just i'm a stress eater i need to lose like 20 or
03:49:39.64030 pounds i'm kind of i got a dad bod right now it's i'm disappointed in myself i'm working on it
03:49:45.300i can't sit here with my fucking dad bod and say i'm a 10. now if i was obese that would be even worse
03:49:52.460right right now i've just got a dad bod but still i'm fucked up i'm fucking up wow i got okay that was
03:49:59.840intense um i can't claim the you can't claim like you can't claim to be a 10 if you got a dad bod
03:50:07.220you know i got a dad bod right now i can't claim 10. well i can claim 10 because i you don't have a dad
03:50:13.240bod i have i'm not saying you do i'm just yeah i don't yeah yeah but that's beside the point like
03:50:19.900it's not personally like i don't know how i don't know how to measure it so in my eyes i'm a 10
03:50:27.640that's not based on any standard that i like believe in yeah
03:50:32.720she's confident and she feels good about herself do does any i have some makeup remover does anyone
03:50:39.480here want to revise their answer i will do it i will do it can i have one what is that actually
03:50:45.700can i have one of those so i don't have to wash my face when i do that yeah right
03:50:49.400wash your face i'll do you want to i'm good i mean i've had that is it expired i just did my
03:50:57.380makeup for fun makeup remover expires yeah you want to do it sophia yeah you want to do it too
03:51:04.500what is this trying to prove yeah i don't know i don't even know right now
03:51:08.800uh have you ever had women actually take the wipes no this is our first time actually normally
03:51:14.640i reject do you want emily you want to no i'll take one but unless you'll pay for my makeup pay
03:51:22.020for your makeup that you're going to take off in an hour anyways no i'm just kidding actually it's
03:51:25.800really not that much i mean like feel like women can wear makeup and still can we see see without
03:51:31.580the lipstick just the lipstick you're not why does it matter like why does it matter
03:51:38.520i don't know i don't have chapsticks then my lips are going to get really dry oh no but the thing
03:51:43.600is wait wait hold on i don't care you said you major in psychology but my lip is this is going
03:51:47.760to be something that what's your point this is something that psychologists do it's actually
03:51:51.900scientifically determined and what they oh so you think the color makes it prettier uh basically how to
03:51:57.140measure attraction and what the markers are for beauty for like the standards of beauty there are
03:52:01.720a lot of markers like facial symmetry a certain like certain dimensions of the face uh proximity
03:52:06.980of your eyes versus your nose things like that so what they do is basically you can tell how
03:52:11.120objectively attractive somebody is just cross-culturally so if i was to take a picture of you and show it
03:52:16.120to different groups of men and they rate you then most of them would rate you similarly
03:52:20.840no uh actually um like beauty in different cultures is perceived very differently no it's not
03:52:28.640culturally no no it's not there is objective but also culture very much yeah yeah but we're in the
03:52:33.820united states no no not even that beauty is objective because that's how you that's how it
03:52:38.280becomes a phenomenon you can't say we just talked about like in the beginning of the podcast how beauty
03:52:42.000standards change yeah but wait but i'm telling you i'm telling you that's not true i'm telling you
03:52:45.960that's not true that's not true at all it can't it wait it has not no it i think i i might have
03:52:51.300something but let me come let you come in right after i can show you a myriad of studies where it's
03:52:55.540cross-cultural okay regardless so would you say so somebody who is deemed
03:53:00.240a 10 in one culture let someone who's exceptionally attractive in one culture you you say could be deemed
03:53:09.980ugly in another culture yeah i think let's talk about major cultures let's not talk about
03:53:14.960beauty but let's not talk about some like 300 person tribe if you're talking about like west
03:53:19.640modern western cultures then modern western cultures are going to agree because they're all
03:53:23.040modern western cultures but i would argue that an exceptionally attractive woman in japan or korea
03:53:27.740is going to be deemed attractive regardless very attractive also attractive in a western country
03:53:34.260but at what like time period too it doesn't matter the 1600s son what are we talking about
03:53:41.380well if you look at pictures of what like in the 1600s what they deemed attractive you would find
03:53:46.200it ugly today modern modern modern day yeah modern day it's gonna modern day it's gonna be more
03:53:50.880similar even across uh cultures whatever because like i'm saying like there's an objectivity to beauty
03:53:56.380but then there's also like cultural yeah but like culture also changes over time in victorian
03:54:01.180london england uh like i don't i don't care what the date the meta was change that's what i'm saying
03:54:08.300i think certain aspects i think the only reason they've changed lately is because of plastic surgery
03:54:13.380like women have had makeup for hundreds and hundreds of years but plastic surgery getting new lips boobs
03:54:18.440ass that's all something that's going to change your looks from a six that's true a ten so that's when
03:54:23.740women can't really call themselves i'm a ten i actually disagree i disagree with you on that
03:54:27.640i think it makes women less attractive less attractive well true but i'm just saying in
03:54:31.980the sense where a woman could look completely different so like a man could look at a it would
03:54:35.900be an entirely new person so like they're no you're the same person but you got a bunch of plastic in
03:54:41.340you well i've seen people look really different is what i mean like they would look drastically
03:54:45.400different so like somebody would look at them and who's not very intelligent might not know that
03:54:49.760they've had a lot of plastic surgery and consider them an eight or nine sure i i i don't know
03:54:55.460i got a good vision for fake tits and it's just i don't think because you're you're over your 30s
03:55:00.780you're a lot more intelligent than young men who are 20 18 that men my age do not know how to tell
03:55:07.080whether a woman's so young men are being catfished yes because they don't have the provision they
03:55:14.380haven't developed the fucking bro i can see that shit i could tell if a woman has some fake titties in a
03:55:19.940burka that's how good my shit is she's like boom am i gonna get canceled for this shit she's wearing
03:55:26.340a full-on uh nick hat is that i don't know look she's fully covered up i know if she got some fake
03:55:35.020titties so wait i think a good test would be like do any of us have plastic surgery like do i have
03:55:39.440any work fake fake titties any work i mean i don't make it a habit to like stare at women's chest
03:55:45.000in like you know i i tried to look at people in the face but are you you want me to just do i look
03:55:51.420glance at your titties i can look at your titties no you don't have fake titties i can tell okay uh
03:55:56.980the t-shirt's a little tough with the t-shirt i honestly i don't think any girls here have fake
03:56:01.240titties no and i haven't even taken like a solid gander at any of the titties here
03:56:06.040i haven't you know i'm it's almost in my peripheral vision i'm just looking at you in
03:56:12.920the eyes i'm looking at you in the eyes right now it's a little creepy i'm not even looking
03:56:18.160right you don't like men with blue eyes just my peripheral vision i know you don't got fake titties
03:56:24.980why would i need to huh why would i need to like i just i like no he's just saying he's recognizing
03:56:32.640when people have plastic surgery or not oh one question on the whole 10 thing right uh do you
03:56:38.060think all women are 10s no oh okay all right that's fine you know i mean if they think they're
03:56:47.08010 they can think they're like go ahead but word word word okay we got to get back to a couple
03:56:55.280things here oh we have to do her dating app we're going to do a quick dating app review
03:56:59.080of her dating profile uh we're going to check it out nick if you're able to pull it up what were
03:57:04.560the other things whoa uh next one uh that uh okay i go wait what's the quick quick rant thing
03:57:14.360what was that blue eyes blue eyes the blue eyes thing okay we already covered that yeah she goes
03:57:17.980crazy for tattoos and brunettes they do hi okay um next oh oh that's just a photo this is her photo
03:57:27.240so chat this is kind of like chat this is like you swipe left you swipe right although it's hinged
03:57:31.380so it's like or dislike or not like this is figuring out my dating goal uh my greatest strength marvel
03:57:37.540movies you had to be there it smells like nasty ass pussy in here that's like that was a frat party
03:57:42.920and i literally walked in it smelled like the like gross ocean is that what pussy smells like what
03:57:49.140the fuck what kind of pussy are you around i will it smelled disgusting in there is that our
03:57:56.160like it smelled fishy as very this is a very sexist statement for you to say you are misogynist
03:58:03.260how dare you say that that i pussy smells like one did like fish wow like if you don't take care of
03:58:11.420yourself you get a little fishy yeah i think you're self-snitching on yourself yo flan life thank you for
03:58:16.740all the gift of membership sorry we missed it um next uh my vulnerable side okay i'll fall for you
03:58:23.200if you open the car door stop the cap next
03:58:26.500are you crying there okay that was like the day my ex-boyfriend broke up with me and you documented it
03:58:37.100yeah i i ranted like you ever seen these like tiktoks and videos of women who are crying and shit
03:58:42.460and like and they get their phone oh i'm so sad let me just get up to my camera okay oh let me make
03:58:54.080sure the angle's good like it's so weird it's kind of in the moment people like i don't know it's so
03:59:00.760fake i actually accidentally took that picture oh okay i like went to go on snapchat and it took the
03:59:06.640pictures i was like okay wait nick can you go back to it real quick okay nice next one
03:59:10.900my life behind the scenes wait is that what is it my party is that a party that's my party trick
03:59:20.020what i can do the splits what is that the splits and twerking i thought she was twerking wait nick can
03:59:25.120you go to back to the open the car door one open the car door go back to the twerking one
03:59:33.460i want i could show you a video i want a gentleman but
03:59:42.500what are you can i not have fun and dance at a party
03:59:47.120it's just like the demands for it's a fucking joke though like oh you'll fall what the car door
03:59:56.420thing no like me doing the splits it's like me having fun i'm literally intoxicated
04:00:00.340okay what are you you're telling me like when you're intoxicated you know everything you're
04:00:06.340doing at all times if you're really drunk i mean i don't i don't know you well enough but i i guess
04:00:11.180what i'm trying to get at is there is there is a demand from whenever i see a demand of i want a
04:00:18.980guy to pay for the first date i want a guy to do all these like gentlemanly chivalrous things but
04:00:24.620then you conduct yourself in a way that is not the car door thing was kind of a joke too because
04:00:32.680it's just something so simple you should do it it's like you're opening a door for somebody i guess
04:00:37.140what i'm trying to get at if you want to be treated like a lady you want to conduct yourself
04:00:41.740like a lady why is it so black and white like it doesn't have to be like that i mean twerk when i
04:00:46.820think look you're free to twerk i'm not saying there should be yeah you're a man saying you don't
04:00:52.240like twerking like no i don't girls twerking like dancing no to have fun i i a girl twerking
04:01:00.640would be like i'm like that's not wifey material right like do you not like girls that dance in
04:01:08.220general then well i mean this i have a hot take on this but we we're speaking about something very
04:01:14.100specific you're like on the floor at a frat party look you're free to do it i'm not saying there should
04:01:19.060be some ban on it however yeah i have fun with my life no that's good for you i'm i'm an i am a
04:01:26.420dinosaur who uh doesn't drink who doesn't party who doesn't do any drugs who uh i get i'm a little
04:01:37.100boring you know um she's shaking her head um miss christian over here is down with well i'm young
04:01:43.800this i'm supposed to know i know that's how it's not like i'm opening my fucking legs for the whole
04:01:48.040world like it's just having fun we can talk about that too but um no but i guess what i'm saying is
04:01:55.800is that there's without saying you shouldn't you can't do it you shouldn't do it but what i do
04:02:01.640think a lot of guys are going to look at that and if you do not think it's funny that's cool but like
04:02:07.840and i'm not saying i mean i know you said the car door thing whatever you you say you probably don't
04:02:12.940even give a fuck about that but i would say there are a lot of women out there who request gentlemanly
04:02:19.820treatment to request chivalrous treatment want the guy to pay for the first date want the guy to be
04:02:24.320provider but they are not conducting themselves in a way that is in a ladylike behavior and i would
04:02:33.440say like going to party i'm not perfect i'm human like that's that's fine but can we agree that
04:02:41.820twerking is not ladylike behavior i love it it's fun that's good that's totally fine nice one nick
04:02:49.060um that's totally fine i'm not like hating on you or anything am i hating you should try it out
04:02:55.340sometime twerking i'm i'll pass on that why i feel like that'd be fun to say like on the table right
04:03:01.760here can you please someone's gonna have to donate a fuck ton of money for me to ever fucking twerk
04:03:06.240somebody donate a grand he'll do it right now you'll do what right now donate if somebody's
04:03:11.600from to me yeah yeah she'll do all right i did she will twerk no wait that might be too
04:03:16.720no i will you will yeah it's just like uh you know hold make it a like make it a thing though
04:03:24.620like even if i'm not here right now like in your next podcast if somebody sends a grand
04:03:29.500well we have a champagne pop if somebody donates a thousand dollars we'll pop a ball of champagne
04:03:34.720right now that's cool yeah okay wait what's your point though for the record i do agree with you
04:03:43.200on this oh well thank you very much no look look i'm not saying i'm not like sorry i haven't asked
04:03:49.100i'm i don't know if that real but like the how dirty was that floor by the way yeah oh i was blacked
04:03:56.800out in that for sure that was last year actually that's when i had my guy should pay for the first
04:04:01.280date actually the four days ago with the guy or whatever i offered to pay half oh that's so nice
04:04:09.960of you i don't do it all the time if the guy busts out his card like and he doesn't ask anything really
04:04:15.840but like i can tell by the vibe like if they like oh you want to pay a little bit of this too and then
04:04:22.060i get that vibe and then i'll offer look it's 2023 there's equal rights there's feminism if you want
04:04:27.200to go to part look i know that's how a lot of young people move um they go out they party they
04:04:33.780get drunk they dance um that's fine but i guess my objection to it is is then don't turn around and
04:04:45.660demand men act in this i don't demand anything that's fine um but the whole car door thing that
04:04:51.600is kind of a chivalrous thing of i want a guy to open the car door that is kind of a traditional
04:04:56.620just so gentlemanly that's where i agree if you want jewelry you gotta act ladylike right like because
04:05:02.640a lot of people demand like a lot of women will demand men act like gentlemen men act in the
04:05:08.400chivalrous manner which is well they demand that men act chivalrous but chivalry is something like you
04:05:16.060you think it's just something that will automatically manifest itself in men and not something that
04:05:21.380women ought to try to nurture in men through their own behavior i mean like for me i like a guy to
04:05:29.980be himself and i feel like most of the time on first dates they put up this front and i don't like
04:05:34.200it it's like a front of like trying to be so gentleman and i don't like that you like an asshole
04:05:39.300no not an asshole but i like somebody to be themselves sure not putting up a front where it's
04:05:45.620like oh i'm this like gentleman blah blah blah sure no i want to know you i want to know who you are not
04:05:50.460this guy that you're trying to like put out word i have the scam blocker the one in the brown top
04:05:58.640with short blonde hair is the only one i'm attracted to uh because of her character based or not
04:06:05.880question mark i think that's you do sophia do you want to say anything to him thanks are you
04:06:10.700are your dms open no only what their dms open they can message you uh sure we have puffy vegas
04:06:19.56049 300 of wife have offered me i what does this even say dude i can't read that thank you puffy
04:06:26.920vegas but what the fuck spell check please thank you man appreciate you love you okay we have let
04:06:32.540me see where we're at oh amy i had another question for you based off of your notes here uh let's see
04:06:37.280the delusion of a villain arc what's a villain arc what do you mean by that um i don't know if you
04:06:42.080guys ever heard of it but i'm pretty sure you guys have you guys have heard of a villain arc
04:06:45.660um it's usually like what would happen if let's say you get like broken up with like you get really
04:06:52.160like heartbroken and then all of a sudden you're posting like all these gym videos i've been one of
04:06:56.860those people i will say that um but you'll you start acting like you know f everybody like i'm gonna do
04:07:04.080my own thing like screw this screw that and then you just have a very negative view of the world
04:07:09.080that's that's a villain arc rude rude get off your phone
04:07:14.300what do you say what do you say what do you say okay i kind of called him in the bathroom not gonna
04:07:21.000lie whatever what did he say and i was just like hey i'm i'm sorry for talking about it and he was
04:07:27.280like i low-key wish you mentioned my name and i was like no no no no no because i don't i don't
04:07:33.260want to expose myself either at the same time sure um oh uh okay so villain arc so you're saying
04:07:38.660that like someone gets dumped and then they use that as justification to just become a piece of
04:07:44.060shit yeah i mean i think people like maybe like i understand we all go through like our phases you
04:07:52.660know the five stages of grief like especially after something like you know a breakup that happens but i
04:07:58.380don't think you should like allow yourself to be in that villain arc for a long period of time you
04:08:04.400gotta get up yeah i definitely think social media promotes that sort of thing too because uh
04:08:10.740i don't know it seems like there's almost this trend it seems a little more pronounced in women where
04:08:16.660it's like it's quirky to kind of be toxic and yeah i to me it's just like also i almost wonder if
04:08:26.540men deal with rejection a lot more than women so it's like when women do get rejected by a guy
04:08:32.020uh they just they don't know how to handle rejection so it's like okay i got curved by
04:08:40.820like two dudes now i'm just going to be a piece of shit the rest of my life
04:08:43.420um i think that's some real shit i don't know okay all right yeah i think that women don't like uh
04:08:51.160like nice guys who are like nice all the time but i think my advice to men would be like still be a
04:08:56.740gentleman still be sure as maybe playfully tease her a little bit you know like you can't be a little bit
04:09:02.000you can like uh yeah you can tease her i don't know i'm tired i'm sorry but like you don't have
04:09:07.640to be like nice 100 of the time like it's okay you know women like that but don't be an asshole or
04:09:13.660whatever i i think what i'm trying to say with the villain arc thing is you know once you get out of
04:09:19.140relationship or whatever like don't don't try to hate you know like things have passed things have
04:09:26.400happened don't hate all men because one man did you wrong don't don't try to say that i think it's
04:09:33.500very unfair for the very good men that are out there this goes for a woman too if a woman has ever
04:09:38.480cheated on you or wronged you please don't hate the whole population of women because not all of us are
04:09:44.100like that i think please have more if any if anything from my christian faith that i could
04:09:50.800share is just have please have grace with each other okay i think that's a big thing i think
04:09:55.680another thing to point out is like a lot of people say nice guys finish last and girls will even say
04:09:59.740nice girls will finish last and there's a difference of like and i'm like have tried to talk to some of
04:10:05.420my guy friends about this because they're genuinely nice guys and they're like i went on this date and
04:10:09.400like i just don't know why she won't call me i don't understand it and it's like there's a difference
04:10:13.600between kindness which i think is people something everyone should have and focus on but niceness
04:10:19.380sometimes means that you've been to everything for this person and it's being in a really healthy
04:10:25.980relationship is being able to say no to things and having healthy boundaries and i think that
04:10:30.080sometimes what happens is people get so enthralled by somebody and they want to be with that person
04:10:36.160i'll be there i'll cancel all my plans to be with you i'll do this i don't have a life
04:10:39.640and it's saying like hey i need to have enough self-respect to say it's okay to say no to people
04:10:44.800sometimes and say when you're not comfortable with things and it's it's okay to be kind but nice
04:10:49.560sometimes gets i think people think saying yes and being a yes person is the way to do it and most
04:10:54.920people respect people who have healthy boundaries yeah or it becomes a nice guy syndrome here let me
04:11:00.520let me redirect the conversation here just because i want to try to get through all these there was a lot
04:11:04.600of pre-show notes and then we do have to wrap up here pretty soon so i'm hungry i'm mcdonald's we
04:11:11.360got there's food afterwards um so let's see uh you said oh uh you went out with a guy punched he got
04:11:20.520punched in the face and then bit by a dog on the first date was there a second date oh my gosh
04:11:24.560can you explain i've been on some very short short version so we went out crazy just when we went
04:11:33.320out to dinner it was fine his friend was having a party nearby so we decided to go and some chick
04:11:39.040punched him in the face randomly just randomly she goes you look like you have a face worth punching
04:11:43.640he was a bit of a dick though i'm not gonna like he was there's a there's multiple reasons there
04:11:47.640wasn't a second date and then he tried to get handsy with me while i was holding this dog and the
04:11:52.520little fluffy dog was looking out for me and just bit him everywhere yeah this dog was like
04:11:58.580don't come near her dog was looking out but i was like he had a rough night yeah that's l after l
04:12:06.580fucking punched in the face by chick damn bit bit by dog um you broke up with your three and a half
04:12:12.060year relationship via text because he was cheating with his buddy soon-to-be ex-wife who was leaving
04:12:17.080her husband for cheating yep okay i think that's pretty valid that's pretty valid was it the crazy
04:12:22.480part was it was one of those things and sort of like how you're saying like try to be nice
04:12:26.280even like walk away and have a flex and just kind of just whatever i was too nice and too
04:12:31.860yes person for for a long time that was the same way yeah and i i had a feeling he was cheating and
04:12:37.060i even said like went up to his dead ass and i was like look if you don't think i'm the one for you
04:12:41.240let me know we can end this and like just don't waste my time and like we live together everything
04:12:46.500he's like no i love you i want to grow old with you we went on a vacation with my grandparents
04:12:50.340to like idaho and then we came back and i i got a feeling i work in tech too so i found out through
04:12:58.520the ipad he was cheating on someone that it's the girl that you have a feeling with even when you're
04:13:03.700together we used to go on double dates with this couple yeah and so i yeah he and then when i when
04:13:10.320i caught him i i confronted him via text and he he kept denying it and i screenshotted exactly what he
04:13:15.900sent to her saying you're the most beautiful woman woman i've ever seen i want to be with you
04:13:19.500and he goes well you should have seen this coming and so we were supposed to go to new york together
04:13:24.580that weekend he had a flight a few hours before mine and so he left i broke up with him text i moved
04:13:32.100all my shit out of the apartment and never spoke to him again wow cheating i broke up almost a four
04:13:38.980relationship we do have to move we we can't linger on that for too long um you said i think that most
04:13:45.020people don't actually know what they want expect way too much from their partners even though they
04:13:49.680can't articulate it themselves if you don't know what you want how's your partner supposed to yeah
04:13:54.940i think sorry answer no well i was gonna ask you said if you don't know what you want how's your
04:14:01.380partner supposed to what do you want i want someone who has a high level of integrity i want someone
04:14:07.860who's kind not nice and i want someone who is very disciplined and that's something that because
04:14:14.020the thing is like people talk about oh i want this job i want this lifestyle yada yada whatever it is
04:14:18.020i think if you focus on core values and characteristics of people that is something that you can go a lot
04:14:23.860further with because they will end up being there and like if i can say something real quick so i am
04:14:28.500like a big advocate for it's called the four pillars and i want to say this was like a study done
04:14:33.300back like during the clinton administration where they said
04:14:35.680if you can agree with these four things in your relationship the probability of your relationship
04:14:40.300ending is like 10 percent and it number one is finances because number one reason people get
04:14:45.500divorced in this country is money fights and money problems number two is in-laws number three is kids
04:14:50.640whether or not to have them and how to raise them and number four is religion and if you can agree on
04:14:55.540those four things i think a lot of people don't talk about that they see oh we have the same spotify
04:14:59.460playlist or you know very shallow things that people try to find hobbies your partner doesn't need to be
04:15:05.540everything for you we are social animals it's it's not fair to put everything on a guy in this
04:15:11.460situation to be your best friend your confidant the one that's supposed to provide you excitement but
04:15:16.280also stability and security it's not fair to ask one person to give you all these things when most of
04:15:21.080us can't even give it to ourselves sure so it's looking for what you need not necessarily what you
04:15:25.420want got it um let's see a lot of sorry can i add to that real quick i think a lot of people just jump
04:15:31.380into marriage because oh i love this person and um i think that you need to be smart and intentional
04:15:35.360about dating and ask those questions before you get married to see if like you are really compatible
04:15:39.520and not just compatible like oh we get along well but like actually like would the marriage work out
04:15:43.560yeah and i think another thing on that too is this is the first time in human history we
04:15:47.540especially in the u.s that we marry for love we don't marry for compatibility and the problem is if
04:15:52.220you just marry for love love is fickle and you have to like for me if i find a couple that's been
04:15:58.200married for a long time and you can tell they're still genuinely love in love i always ask them
04:16:02.320like give me the secret i need to know because i do not come from a family with where relationships
04:16:07.280have been successful and uh recently one of the guys that i asked he's been married for 28 years
04:16:12.620and they absolutely love and adore each other he goes love is a choice that you have to make every
04:16:16.640day i don't like my partner every day but i love him and i choose to stay a lot of women leave
04:16:20.860relationships now not because they're unhappy but it's because they think they could be happier
04:16:24.840and that's a big issue that shit was profound yep yeah another thing uh that ben uh shapiro said
04:16:33.460that really stuck with me was also pick a partner that that with values that you would like with your
04:16:40.500kids to have that's another thing so going back to the four pillars thing that's that's usually the
04:16:45.760one so most people don't care if their partner is like for like for instance like religion some
04:16:50.300people don't care if your partner's religious or not if they're not but it's when you have kids
04:16:54.980and now it's okay are we raising so that's actually the reason my most recent relationship
04:16:59.020ended i love him he's a wonderful person i have no ill will towards him we're still friends but i
04:17:04.780want to raise my kids christian and he does not and we it's it's hard to break up with someone that
04:17:09.760you genuinely are like we get along in every other way sure but you can't have half a kid
04:17:13.620okay i'm gonna come back to a couple things here we were talking a little bit about rosters early
04:17:20.620on in the show and i just wanted to kind of go around the table um have you ever had a roster
04:17:25.060of guys what is i i feel like i need to know multiple men at the same time yeah yeah how many
04:17:31.840like what's like two two usually it's like just like two or three like nothing major well we know
04:17:38.040just do the first date was i know if i don't go on second second dates are really hard so as soon
04:17:42.940as i go on a second date with someone i'm usually not talking to other people okay emily what about
04:17:46.300you ever had a roster no never no i've no actually they never overlapped any of the guys i've dated
04:17:54.760okay no overlap sophia any overlap yeah no i mean i've been like interested in two guys at the same
04:17:59.920time i wasn't dating both of them at the same time sure yeah same like i was interested but i've never
04:18:05.000like was talking to them or seeing them or anything yeah amy no roster for me
04:18:10.140lynn uh no once i'm interested in someone it's only them gotcha uh i would want to ask this uh
04:18:19.060sugar daddies earlier on we were i overheard before the show this was related to the dating app thing
04:18:25.900you have a couple sugar daddies currently no no you used to never i had one oh
04:18:34.300and basically how did you meet that i got banned from tinder because when i first signed up i didn't
04:18:42.220know there was like an age thing where you can like move around the ages so i kind of just um yeah
04:18:48.86018 plus i left it there and there was like old men popping up and i'm like this is kind of weird
04:18:56.060and then i guess they would find my instagram dm me on instagram a bunch of stuff and did you have
04:19:04.780your instagram in your bio because on your dating app oh i got banned from tinder but let me let me
04:19:09.840at one point in time i was fucking around and i was like i'm just gonna like all these old men and
04:19:15.200see what genuinely happens so they start texting me on tinder and they're like i will send you like
04:19:21.800three grand right now i could be your sugar daddy i'll take you out i'll pay for everything like
04:19:26.560this and that and i i was just like okay like here's my venmo they sent me money but i got banned
04:19:34.360from tinder because of that how much money total do you think you made from the venmo thing off tinder
04:19:39.520specifically maybe a grand life once again life on easy mode there's no way to my rent for my parents
04:19:49.000there's literally there is literally no guy i don't care how fucking attractive he is
04:19:53.640on the face of this planet that can instantly get money from women on a dating app but they just
04:19:59.600offered you money and you refuse it you don't you that money went to rent though because i help my
04:20:07.380parents out hold on just a second yo nico thank you my name is nick long time watcher first time
04:20:13.880commenter just had a son we named him nick jr love watching nick at night as he sleeps so peacefully
04:20:20.500fucking got me my gf wants to give him her last name could any advice what did he just say
04:20:28.280nickelodeon it's i think he's memeing uh any advice on what wait my girlfriend wants to give
04:20:35.480him her last name do you not get it yeah the first name she doesn't want and then the last name
04:20:40.400that i'm not gonna repeat no if you holy fuck i oh my if you put the first name and the last name
04:20:46.480together they're just making a racist comment yeah i didn't i just realized that that's it did i say
04:20:51.700it no nobody said it no you just said nick jr nick and i didn't get that either
04:20:56.660anyways okay um we uh your sugar daddies yeah oh life on easy mode yeah no life on sure i got
04:21:08.920the money but i put it towards my rent for my parents i gave it to them for rent yeah life on
04:21:13.340easy mode sure that's not how old are these men like women don't have life on easy mode like that's
04:21:18.640not that just because we can that's easy get money that that's easy mode that's easy mode
04:21:24.740yeah if i could easily pay my rent with somebody's money that's easy you're telling me you don't have
04:21:33.480to work an hour a minute of your time and you can pay your rent with somebody else's money i still work
04:21:38.640no but you don't get paid that much you paid the rent with that if you really wanted to finesse
04:21:43.160you could get on the sugar daddy websites you could get all the dating oh you were on seeking
04:21:47.940no sugar daddy.com as a joke too i just want to like preference i'm not going on there specifically
04:21:55.240to like find a sugar daddy it's like i'm doing it to like see piece of shit no but i'm just like
04:22:03.000seeing how this works because i like i was like interested i was like okay i'm just gonna sign up
04:22:07.680see what happens but i mean you also said when you were on the dating apps which are people genuinely
04:22:12.340go on there to try to find whether it's casual whether it's more serious you were just like
04:22:17.440well i mean i suppose it's no i didn't go on there just for the sugar daddies i mean like it was just
04:22:23.260like wait so okay these dudes just sent you a thousand and then you got banned because of the
04:22:29.840age thing no because of the money oh they don't allow things like that on there yeah and rightfully
04:22:35.720so they should protect men from predatory women but um anyways there's not men on dating apps who
04:22:43.160are preying on women the same way that women are preying on men on dating apps for money
04:22:46.760okay for money but like money wise for for what i didn't ask for any of it i was just like here's
04:22:53.460my venmo you want to do you go ahead that look i think men have some accountability in this you
04:23:00.100shouldn't men don't fucking send women you don't know money like come on guys don't you need to
04:23:07.500watch barbie like you really need to watch no fuck that what is that related topic of sending money
04:23:13.740to someone you don't know have you guys seen barbie i've seen barbie how is it related what does that
04:23:18.480have to do with the money it doesn't have to do with the money but he's talking about how women
04:23:22.280have life on easy mode yeah if you watch barbie that explains everything okay yeah but i don't
04:23:28.020i don't need to hear another woman explain to me how hard her life is but when i hear someone sit
04:23:33.660here and tell me that they paid their rent with somebody else's money i can just look at that and
04:23:38.340decide i don't need to hear somebody on a movie tell me how bad my life is as a woman no i sorry i
04:23:44.140don't care about that movie there definitely is female privilege like people talk about like white
04:23:47.440male privilege like i don't think that's a thing but like female privilege like i have uh
04:23:52.020my car like i got like flat tires whatever broken down on the side of the road um multiple times
04:23:56.960since moving to california and i like realized i'm so glad that i'm a young female because people
04:24:02.100actually stop and help me and if i was yeah i totally i was a man people would not help me
04:24:06.680that's true also just just just to add on to your point when it comes to was it mostly men stopping
04:24:11.980to help you with your car yes so when it comes to male intervention uh women if you're out in public
04:24:18.760you basically have let's say you're at a party type environment let's say you're just not even a
04:24:25.040party type environment let's say you're walking in a shopping mall you basically as a woman have
04:24:30.340male bodyguards like not every man will intervene however let's say for example a guy is attacking you
04:24:39.520physically other men who don't know you who have no relationship to you who are not your siblings or
04:24:45.540your brother or your boyfriend total strangers owe you nothing if they see someone attacking you
04:24:50.980say a man's attacking you they will intervene on your behalf behalf and not just try to stop the
04:24:56.740fight there'll probably be a group of men a horde of men who will beat the shit out of the dude yeah
04:25:03.240because biology whereas as men if we're even if it's an unfair situation if three dudes are fucking us
04:25:08.920up if three dudes are like no no other men are going to intervene on our behalf so women basically
04:25:16.620have that additional privilege of you basically have free bodyguards when you're out in public
04:25:20.840there's this famous there's actually this famous clip where it's from like some indian tv show very old i don't know if this is a perfect example nick we're not going to google it but
04:25:38.280a woman slaps a man and it's on a tv show a woman slaps a man he slaps her back all the men that were behind the scenes like 20 dudes it's like the how could she slap this is like this was an internet meme um
04:25:44.280um she's like he's like how could she slap slaps her back right she slaps him he slaps her back
04:25:47.180he slaps her back he slaps her back he slaps her back
04:25:55.440a woman slaps a man he slaps her back all the men that were behind the scenes like 20 dudes
04:26:02.760it's like the how could she slap this is like this was an internet meme um she's like he's like
04:26:09.220how could she slap slaps her back right she slaps him he slaps her back look I don't think you
04:26:16.400should hit anybody however if you hit somebody you should be prepared to be hit back instigating
04:26:21.640something yes I agree with that part so all the men despite the fact that they all saw her slap
04:26:27.580him first all that guy got the shit kicked out of him by like 20 dudes so there's something in men
04:26:33.620that it's like this protection thing where if they see a woman like being hit by a man they're
04:26:40.040going to intervene on your behalf total strangers so that's another privilege yeah no I mean it does
04:26:46.240it's like pros and cons because um I am more vulnerable so when um I'm stuck on the side
04:26:51.100of the road and I have a flat tire and I know how to change a flat tire but I like their situations
04:26:55.400I got a flat in my spare tire so anyway and then it's like and I don't have cell service I really
04:27:01.420need help I have been very fortunate that everyone who stopped uh was very nice and had good intentions
04:27:06.600but you never know you never know what their intentions are and I am more vulnerable so pros and cons
04:27:10.420but why should I watch the barbie movie explain it to me explain it to me there's a specific scene
04:27:16.680in the barbie movie where yeah um one of the characters gives a monologue about like kind
04:27:23.600of the societal like standards that women are subject to and personally it really aligned
04:27:34.060with me and like how I go through life and like I kind of realized that women like it's a lot
04:27:42.440to get into right now but we can get into it go ahead no I don't know if I want to but like
04:27:48.220I just think that that movie really puts it in perspective for men to like understand what
04:27:56.100we go through as women that you might not understand well try to explain it to me I I don't have time
04:28:02.920to watch it now but if you can give me a 30 second one minute sure we have the privilege okay doesn't
04:28:09.020mean no no no we don't I'm trying to I'm trying to understand here I'm trying to understand please
04:28:13.440if you can okay I'll try to articulate it I can't get any words out so okay yeah we do have this like
04:28:21.320privilege in some ways but also like you as a woman I feel like I can't walk alone at night
04:28:28.060because something might happen to me and um before I have you continue can we just address
04:28:34.260that specific one really quick Q do you have anything on this because I do you want to come
04:28:39.080in on that or um about her walking well the feeling that she at night she is more likely to be victim of
04:28:46.600violent crime um I have because yeah because if I walk alone at night I'm more likely to be a victim
04:28:52.320of violent crime so even though I think it's the case that women might feel more more vulnerable
04:29:00.540the reality is if you look at crime statistics men are more likely to be victims of violent crime
04:29:05.500okay but I mean how like what what's statistics like where are these coming from first of all
04:29:13.580department of justice various okay crime statistics I'll have to see those statistics but it's it's
04:29:19.400true men are more likely to be victims of violent crime okay sure it's true but murder assault
04:29:26.180okay what about getting because I think something that I fear is like not only violent crime
04:29:32.720SA are you talking about no like getting kidnapped like getting like sex trafficked that's like my
04:29:37.340men using their privilege as sex trafficked against to be honest like as a full-grown woman you're not
04:29:42.800the biggest like priority to be sex trafficked or kidnapped they primarily go against just so we're
04:29:48.200not getting oh true let's stay away from trafficking but but um your biggest fear is to be trafficked so
04:29:55.180your biggest not to be just to be like abducted and then shipped to some latin american country
04:30:00.140like is that genuinely big jump but but isn't that what traffic what yeah you know when you say
04:30:05.400trafficking yeah like cities like rooseville like roosevelt rooseville what rooseville yeah it's
04:30:11.020like it's very close to there yeah it's near sacramento there's a lot more trafficking that's that goes
04:30:15.760on that we even know about but like isn't that typically like some some they bring in a woman from
04:30:23.400overseas yeah it's usually children and immigrants that are victims i will say in that area too to
04:30:29.040adult women it's people in that area it's a lot of people coming in on mass like american women
04:30:35.460getting abducted it's not common but it happens it happens so it's very a very real thing you know so
04:30:41.620so i used to work with an organization that actually fought to rescue victims of that for several years
04:30:47.540okay so one in six individuals that you know one out of six people that you know either know someone
04:30:52.540or is a victim of human trafficking most people don't understand just let's go into that one in
04:30:57.160six people of who you know or in in the sense of like you know someone or you know someone who knows
04:31:03.700someone whoa whoa that's a bullsh just on its face that's the most that's such a fucking bullshit
04:31:08.540how can you know somebody who knows somebody what kind of statistics is that give me the the
04:31:14.780percentage risk yeah but what what does it i know somebody who knows why are they taking statistics on
04:31:21.940i know somebody who knows somebody who was a victim of a crime what that's just you're trying to you're
04:31:28.080trying to use words to paint things in a certain way what is the actual likelihood of someone in the
04:31:33.320united states being trafficked so i i'd have to bring back the stats just because it's been a couple
04:31:39.460years to get the exact piece the highest rate for where trafficking happens though is the victims are
04:31:43.960actually brought here u.s u.s but do you see how disingenuous disingenuous disingenuous it is to use
04:31:52.800language one in six people mike davis donated one hundred dollars you don't blame the kid for being
04:31:58.980a brat you blame the parents i don't blame women they don't know any better i blame this new generation
04:32:06.320of low t beta sissy bonehead men for allowing this i'll become an african dictator to show you
04:32:13.100how it's done okay thank you very much mike davis appreciate it he's going to be an african dictator
04:32:18.040i do think it's like you're using language in a way to one in six people know somebody or they're
04:32:26.460one in six people have either been trafficked or know somebody who has yes that's such a weird way
04:32:35.700of one in six people eats candy or know somebody who eats candy that's just like a weird framing of
04:32:46.100a statistic i mean it's just the way that i framed it right now but it's one of those things as far as
04:32:50.920like how it is a lot more prevalent than what most people think and most people are trafficked by someone
04:32:55.280they know that's what most people don't realize it's it's not necessarily people coming from india
04:33:00.340or vietnam and being brought to the country yeah that happens a lot but you'd be surprised at how
04:33:04.520many people are actually in the u.s i would say one is one too many and it is a thing that yes of
04:33:10.280course it's a terrible thing i don't know the statistics it might not be like like obviously
04:33:14.120it's not as prevalent here but it does happen it is a real thing it was actually the biggest business
04:33:18.560in the united states of america and that's funny you say it's not as prevalent here okay the biggest here
04:33:23.620let's bring it back to this hold on okay we're moving on but they're also okay so hold on so you
04:33:30.700mentioned the barbie barbie movie what are some of the other things other what what are some of the
04:33:36.920you said that women have if i watch the barbie movie i would be enlightened to the plight of women
04:33:41.040okay well first of all like the beauty standard um and kind of just like
04:33:49.060traditional values that men like and like like you you were just saying like you have to be a
04:33:56.840you should be a virgin if like that's your type or whatever that's your type low body whatever you
04:34:01.620said okay like these standards like it just it's just not like healthy and like i don't know i just
04:34:11.580what's what's not healthy like having like putting women to these standards i just so so men are not
04:34:19.480allowed to have preferences standards and boundaries that's not what i'm saying but it's just interesting
04:34:24.020that a large majority of men have these standards so would you hold your kids to standards at all
04:34:28.860like does that matter to you your children having morals what are the it well yeah so then why would
04:34:34.680a man not be allowed to want a woman to have morals and standards and like why is that so wrong what
04:34:39.680are the standards that men have that you object to high uh the body count thing you would men should
04:34:44.380not be able to if a woman slept with 300 people that should men should just tolerate that okay that's
04:34:51.120unrealistic but i'm but no that's not what i'm saying like i'm okay it's just interesting that we have
04:34:57.300to like live up to these standards that are like and for what is basically what i'm thinking like
04:35:03.180it just it's a lot of pressure on women that's not the only thing that's like actually but wouldn't
04:35:08.680you say that women are more are pickier and more selective than men are so there's actually a greater
04:35:12.820pressure on men when it comes to standards women are more picky women are just naturally more selective
04:35:19.240than men because of it's just biological i have a question i do you think it would be do you think it
04:35:25.660would be better for little girls across america did not be held to any standards growing up like no
04:35:31.780standards for like you know how they carry themselves how they act in public who they
04:35:36.740you know like do you think that would be better for society if little girls
04:35:40.400then going into women had no standards to be held to
04:35:42.960i mean not necessarily it depends on the standards but
04:35:48.440um yeah you're talking about the primary are you talking about like unrealistic stand like a lot of
04:35:54.600unrealistic standards on women yeah like body the body count thing is like if i could say
04:36:00.980like the body count thing that's not really like the main one it's like the way you look like but
04:36:06.900you gotta be having you have to like slim waist big boobs big but all these like things that
04:36:13.320women feel that they have to be like in order for a man to like them and like living under the male
04:36:20.860gaze and things like that that's what sorry it's just the buzzwords the male gaze okay
04:36:27.080see any sort like it's so interesting to me that that basically like male male sexuality is
04:36:33.800pathologized like if men are like looking in your direction you basically just want to pathologize
04:36:39.560and almost crim actually in the uk in the united kingdom they attempted to criminalize staring okay i'm
04:36:46.120not saying the male gaze like that i'm saying what is the male gaze okay a guy looking at you
04:36:51.240you know like the no that's not what it is there's the female gaze which is like women typically like
04:36:58.860men who are like really strong or like like they live in they like like these certain things about
04:37:06.380men that's like living under the female gaze if like you are doing a certain thing to yourself in
04:37:12.260order to please a woman so for women it's like act like doing things that you like to yourself so
04:37:22.160that you can please a man can i can i ask you something do you think women actually amplify the
04:37:29.040pressure that they put on themselves and i say that because you just talked about trying to trying
04:37:35.220to trying to live up to live up to a standard you notice this you notice other women with big boobs
04:37:40.720you notice the women in magazines you notice the women on social media and everything like that
04:37:44.320you're comparing yourselves to those women you still get approached by men right men still find
04:37:49.480you attractive so if men still find you attractive if men still come your direction
04:37:53.960then what is it that you what makes you insecure you're doing it to yourself yeah you mentioned there's
04:38:00.560this pressure on women to have thin waist big boobs big ass the pressure on themselves
04:38:04.960didn't you didn't you say earlier you're currently dating like three or four men
04:38:09.060okay you have a roster of three or four men or was that your friend i don't know no that was me
04:38:15.020are you struggling to get men not particularly do you think you need to modify anything about you to
04:38:22.060attract men there well i mean you said you're a 10 right yes but there have been times where i felt
04:38:28.840like and still there you go you just said it what you just said it there have been times where i felt
04:38:34.780like i felt like i had to act a certain way look a certain way in order for a man to like me
04:38:40.520but no one told you to act but that's how it is in our society but okay so and you mentioned like
04:38:47.400unrealistic body standards etc um who do you think is more picky when it comes to dating men or women
04:38:53.760um well it's personal i mean i went to an all-girls school for like i said for seven years so it's
04:39:02.400kind of like yeah i don't really know like i honestly don't know okay because of that well who
04:39:07.060do you think if you had if you had to if you had a ballpark you think men are more selective or women
04:39:11.980are more selective um well i guess it's difficult to say because i think women get approached by men more
04:39:20.480so they can reject men more or like so if they reject men more don't you think there would be
04:39:25.700more criteria for them men have to meet do you think there's more do you think there's more
04:39:30.620criteria men have to meet to attract women or vice versa i guess women are i don't know like
04:39:38.700it's impossible for her to acknowledge that men in that that men are somehow to at a deficit in one
04:39:46.280realm of human endeavor because i i recognize that men struggle for reasons well let's let's keep it
04:39:55.460to the body thing right so okay um okay you said that when it comes to appearance that there's this
04:40:02.940like expectation that women have to live up to of like a certain body type and because of the barbie
04:40:08.340movie i didn't see the barbie movie but i guess it touched on it in the movie that women have it harder
04:40:14.160when it comes to body type just living in society just living in society do you think that that same
04:40:20.760pressure exists for men yes now here's my hot i don't think it's a hot take but here's my position
04:40:25.820um i would actually argue that depictions of aspirational bodies for men are far harder to
04:40:33.020attain than what you see of women so the aspirational body type for a man is far harder than the aspirational
04:40:41.540body for a woman for the average person probably yeah well like it depends on the person and their
04:40:49.200body well the the other thing i would add to let me ask do you care about a man's height would you
04:40:54.520want to do you care about height not maybe not as much as other women i've heard what what's your
04:41:01.900ideal height for a guy you're 5'1 right yeah ideal height for a guy like i guess like 5'7 okay
04:41:08.780would you date it would you want to date a guy who's like 5'2 probably not probably not it depends
04:41:15.140on who they are if they're a really good guy we'll have to see sure do you like really skinny guys
04:41:20.320um like who have no muscle do you like a muscular guy um a little not like super like bodybuilder
04:41:28.000gigantic steroids you like some muscles okay it's not gonna be like a deal breaker do you like fat guys
04:41:33.080what like what don't don't worry i'm gonna i'm getting somewhere go ahead um like fat obese it's
04:41:43.780like this is so big boys are better just go ahead i guess it's not really my type i've never been
04:41:49.820into a guy that sure is like that okay um do you have any like when it comes to race or skin color
04:41:55.780do you have any preferences there not okay um so what i would argue um let me ask if a guy's
04:42:03.340lacking in the bulge is that deal breaker no don't care okay that's fine um would you prefer a guy like
04:42:10.040if a guy was balding would that kind of be a turn off or unattractive well i'm 18 so some some guys
04:42:16.240start balding early i don't know i probably i mean it's not like okay well let's say think forward to
04:42:23.66025 some of the men in your age cohort uh are gonna start losing their hair like i wouldn't want them
04:42:30.940to be balding but like if they were if i really love them like but would you generally speaking
04:42:35.840like do you find men who are not balding more physically attractive yeah i guess most women do
04:42:41.700so i mean kind of going on this whole thing of well the body expectations of women are like really
04:42:48.560intense and there's so much to work up to i would actually argue that for men it's way
04:42:53.440harder because of the things that both men and women we judge each other for there are far more
04:42:59.720things that men can that are outside of men's control that women judge men for so height penis
04:43:06.480size physical size um if they're losing their hair that's a big thing for a lot of women a lot of women
04:43:13.560don't like that um i'm not saying men are not subject to like societal standards i'm just saying that
04:43:20.840women have it worse like disavow yeah a bit like no no not a bit like they do have it worse that's my
04:43:28.640opinion and i think that like the the whole like thing with bodies and like the beauty standard like
04:43:34.820that's not even like half of what's wrong with society sure there's more but just speaking
04:43:40.520specifically on the body thing that's like the one like topic that men kind of like are
04:43:48.500no i feel like i agree with q that it's women who kind of did that to themselves because if you look
04:43:54.960if you look at it really when that body started to become trending it was when the kardashians did it
04:43:59.480that's when everybody wanted the small waist the big boobs the big ass so it's like women we did
04:44:05.100that to ourselves by making that popular by praising those women by giving them all of our attention and
04:44:11.000money and then now guess what it's not a trend anymore and all of them are getting their bbls
04:44:14.600removed and now we're admiring being skinny again it's like we create these standards for ourselves
04:44:19.640but i think that's what the park was actually about well it's not really like women specifically who are
04:44:25.340like doing that i think men also are the ones who are praising it and it's not just women
04:44:31.680you cannot argue that a woman getting a woman getting surgery on her own body is her only decision
04:44:39.060that's not a man's decision that is literally but it's like in our society you can't blame that on
04:44:45.640anybody else like in some ways men created some of the standards that are for women well look it's not
04:44:53.040just sorry sorry to disappoint you it's not just women who created at all yes but men men like okay
04:44:59.500men men are attracted to women with big breasts like men are attracted to women with big asses
04:45:07.300however like most i would say most men that's not like there are some men who just have a big titty
04:45:15.200fetish whatever like that's i think that's really not gonna be first off you don't want to be with a guy
04:45:20.960that doesn't like you the way you are obviously you should take good care of yourself you should be
04:45:25.800in good shape you should uh you should have good hygiene etc but like if i think i think you've
04:45:34.700spoken on this queue and we have nick over here like you have three men sitting in front of you i
04:45:38.640earlier i said i don't like women with plastic surgery i don't i even said it's it's not even like
04:45:45.380i really want a girl with fake uh with big boobs i said i would prefer a girl with small boobs i'd
04:45:51.040prefer a girl with a little belly than lipo belly i'd prefer a girl with small upper lip than lip
04:45:55.480fillers i'd prefer a girl with like a smaller ass than than with a bbl and q i'll know about you but
04:46:02.920i'm saying you're not you're not a fan of plastic surgery i'm not a fan of any alterations
04:46:06.820so you got three guys here that aren't really into plastic surgery and the majority of men could
04:46:13.440think like that too but it's just as women we have praised these these women the famous ones that do
04:46:18.500it so much we think oh that's the that's what i have to do i have to look like them i need to be
04:46:22.200like them i need to get the money like them all the men will like me like they like them but it's like
04:46:26.580the most but like most men like you said don't actually care about that they don't actually like
04:46:32.280that but we see the famous women doing that and it's what we admire and we want to be like
04:46:36.780them refined underscore randy donated 99 are men or women lacking more nowadays in terms of
04:46:44.880husband slash father and wife slash mother and explain your take bring back chase mary and josie
04:46:52.500ann on the same panel hashtag christ is king amen yo randy thank you very much man appreciate it um
04:46:59.080are men or women lacking more nowadays i mean i think both men and women are i don't i'm not trying
04:47:04.660to play the blame game here where it's like just like i think both men are lacking and i think women
04:47:11.440are lacking i think we both got to level up um did you want to finish your point really quick or did
04:47:16.340you kind of have it i don't remember that's that's fine um can i add something really quick i do think
04:47:22.380that it is a lot harder for men because us women put the expectation on things that men cannot physically
04:47:28.060change besides maybe like working out okay but like in terms of like penis size and like height
04:47:32.960that's something us women put the pressure on men for on the other hand us women we're the ones who
04:47:38.440willingly choose to scroll on social media and compare ourselves to other to other girls like the
04:47:44.000guys said they guys will praise anything yes well and and that's that's kind of what i was saying
04:47:50.180earlier is that when it comes to like judging other people just on a purely physical basis in terms of
04:47:55.500what we find attractive physically in the opposite sex again my my position would be women have far
04:48:01.520more criteria when it comes to physical attractiveness for men that are completely outside of men's control
04:48:06.740height penis size balding sexual stamina sexual function a lot of these things are totally outside
04:48:13.280of men's control whereas like what the the big thing i'd say with women is weight and that's within your
04:48:20.120control what men don't really care about your height women don't really bald so that's not
04:48:25.440factor so when it comes to hair that's totally not a factor with women um
04:48:29.220this is gonna be kind of vulgar loose pussy is not nearly as prevalent as men with like
04:48:36.640average or below average penis size that's it plus kegels you can fix that shit
04:48:41.680just saying okay i didn't mean to take it there but to answer the super chat i think that um the
04:48:47.360sexual revolution is screwing all of us over or has screwed us all over also on the physical front i
04:48:52.500would argue that physical disability is a far bigger disadvantage for men than it is for women
04:48:57.600isn't it sad we're only talking about physical appearance though and not who people actually are
04:49:02.060like i mean physical attraction is huge why would that be sad why you gotta she brought it up she
04:49:07.380brought it up here let me just finish my point here physical disability far bigger disadvantage
04:49:12.980for men so first uh sexual function for men with spinal cord injuries
04:49:17.360fucked whereas a woman you can still i mean you can still fuck i guess um i would argue a woman in
04:49:23.780a wheelchair could get laid far easier than than a man in a wheelchair i'd say she could get laid more