Adin Live - October 18, 2021


i have a kid...


Episode Stats

Length

17 minutes

Words per Minute

125.740425

Word Count

2,144

Sentence Count

324

Misogynist Sentences

27

Hate Speech Sentences

16


Summary

In this episode, Aiden and his dad have a run in with a police officer. Aiden tries to explain to the officer why his dad is chasing him around the parking lot with his son in the passenger seat of his car.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Okay, are you hungry or not? I've had a very stressful day at work. Are you hungry or not?
00:00:04.780 It's stressful enough as it is. Stop cracking jokes. Mommy's not coming back home.
00:00:14.360 Bro.
00:00:14.820 Sir, does this car drive still or do you need a push start?
00:00:17.820 Uh, push start. Am I free to go, sir?
00:00:20.120 Yeah, just give him one minute and he'll be with you.
00:00:22.440 Huh?
00:00:23.620 I'll be with you in another one minute.
00:00:25.600 Officer, am I free to go?
00:00:27.320 He's clean?
00:00:27.840 So, um, yeah. Take your car to the mechanic.
00:00:31.380 Thank you.
00:00:32.740 This will just be a warning, alright?
00:00:34.000 Thank you. Son, get back in the car.
00:00:37.900 Yeah.
00:00:38.400 Will do.
00:00:39.880 Son.
00:00:42.420 Son.
00:00:43.120 Alright, sir, you're good to go.
00:00:44.540 Thank you, officers. Have a nice day.
00:00:47.480 Son, get in.
00:00:51.180 It's okay, baby boy. Get in.
00:00:55.820 How was your day at school, huh?
00:00:57.840 Uh, it was pretty, it was pretty good.
00:01:01.800 We, we had a nap time.
00:01:03.820 Yeah.
00:01:04.240 And the teacher was taking pictures of us during nap time.
00:01:07.360 Wait, what?
00:01:09.240 What you mean?
00:01:13.560 What you mean he was taking pictures of you while you were napping?
00:01:17.380 He was taking pictures of the whole classroom.
00:01:20.180 Who?
00:01:20.460 Who?
00:01:23.620 Give me your teacher's name. What's your teacher's name?
00:01:25.660 Um, Mr. Ross.
00:01:31.120 You're so weird.
00:01:33.400 Mr. Ross. Okay, where is he? Where is he at? I need to pull up on him.
00:01:37.080 Um, he's currently the one driving.
00:01:40.840 What are you talking about?
00:01:41.960 What?
00:01:46.520 Get out of my car.
00:01:51.980 Let me have a word with you.
00:01:54.540 Let me have a word with you. I'm not gonna hurt you.
00:01:57.640 I'm not going to hurt you.
00:02:00.480 Let me have a word with you. I'm not gonna hurt you.
00:02:02.980 Listen, son.
00:02:04.300 Don't joke like that, okay?
00:02:09.720 Sir.
00:02:11.140 Come on, son. Come back in the car.
00:02:12.400 You got a bet out, man.
00:02:13.620 What?
00:02:15.200 What's going on here? Why you got a bet out?
00:02:16.820 Man, don't worry about it. Mind your fucking business.
00:02:18.480 Don't tell me how to handle my son.
00:02:20.400 Okay, but you chasing your son like that.
00:02:22.320 Well, son, son. No, son.
00:02:24.360 No, son.
00:02:25.480 It's okay.
00:02:29.400 Yo, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:02:31.320 Son, no, son.
00:02:32.840 Son, no, son.
00:02:33.760 No, no, son.
00:02:34.600 Come on.
00:02:36.360 No, no, he's not.
00:02:37.220 He's not. Come on, son.
00:02:38.040 Come on.
00:02:46.420 Yo, you got to tee the fuck up, son.
00:02:49.160 Listen, you can't be doing shit like that.
00:02:55.580 Who's your daddy?
00:02:59.300 Good boy.
00:03:06.600 That's a good boy.
00:03:10.900 All right.
00:03:11.400 Do you want to go to...
00:03:12.220 Do you want to get some food?
00:03:17.760 Are you hungry?
00:03:18.460 Would you like to get some food?
00:03:19.580 Some grub?
00:03:20.200 Wait.
00:03:21.120 Wait, how do I type?
00:03:22.960 T slash me space.
00:03:24.560 Whatever you want to type.
00:03:27.000 Here, I'll redo it.
00:03:34.360 You're...
00:03:34.720 Bro.
00:03:35.340 Bro, no, son.
00:03:36.200 No.
00:03:37.140 No.
00:03:37.540 Only mommy can produce that.
00:03:38.860 And I know you don't have a mommy right now.
00:03:39.980 I know she left us when you were like two, but...
00:03:41.780 But you have...
00:03:42.520 But you have bigger boobies than mommy.
00:03:44.340 No, I don't.
00:03:44.880 Stop saying that.
00:03:45.740 You've been gaining...
00:03:46.560 Son!
00:03:47.160 Shut the fuck up!
00:03:48.460 Fuck it, bro.
00:03:49.180 I don't give a fuck.
00:03:51.120 Damn!
00:03:53.060 What the fuck?
00:03:54.460 All right.
00:03:55.060 Are you hungry?
00:03:56.540 Mommy mistake you for cuff him yesterday.
00:03:59.340 We don't know our mom anymore.
00:04:01.240 Relax.
00:04:04.060 Okay.
00:04:04.460 Are you hungry or not?
00:04:05.760 I've had a very stressful day at work.
00:04:07.620 Are you hungry or not?
00:04:08.800 I'm really...
00:04:09.220 You know what your dad does every fucking day?
00:04:11.420 He sells marijuana.
00:04:12.600 He sells weed.
00:04:13.580 He sells crack to try to pay the fucking bills.
00:04:17.500 It's stressful enough as it is.
00:04:19.500 Stop cracking jokes.
00:04:20.960 Mommy's not coming back home.
00:04:22.220 And now this fucking piece of shit car is going to break down.
00:04:36.000 Yo.
00:04:36.360 I'm going to tell you right now, son.
00:04:39.860 I have to get rich.
00:04:41.580 There's got to be some way I got to get rich to...
00:04:43.660 Bro, where do I eat food, chat?
00:04:54.200 What the...
00:04:54.520 That's my bad.
00:04:55.880 Yeah, it is your bad.
00:04:56.680 Keep kicking rocks, bitch.
00:04:58.580 I'm sorry, Aiden.
00:05:00.320 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:05:01.220 You don't know who I am, bro.
00:05:02.220 You can't do that, bro.
00:05:04.060 I'm not even...
00:05:04.640 Okay, you guys kicked him.
00:05:05.560 Good shit.
00:05:06.140 Hey, W staff!
00:05:07.580 Anyways.
00:05:09.420 Son, are you hungry?
00:05:10.260 Okay, I'm going to feed you.
00:05:15.740 I'm sorry.
00:05:16.440 You know what?
00:05:16.800 I'm very cranky.
00:05:17.780 I didn't mean to...
00:05:18.600 I didn't mean to yell at you, son.
00:05:22.660 Do you forgive me?
00:05:25.640 Yeah, daddy.
00:05:29.240 Who is following us?
00:05:31.740 What?
00:05:35.220 Bro, get him out, mods.
00:05:36.540 Ban him.
00:05:37.020 Ban him.
00:05:37.280 Ban him.
00:05:37.500 Ban this kid.
00:05:37.940 Get him the fuck out.
00:05:41.120 Son, are you hungry?
00:05:43.740 Very, very hungry.
00:05:44.900 I'm going to take you to get something to eat, okay?
00:05:48.180 Would you like a Philly cheesesteak?
00:05:51.300 A chopped cheese.
00:05:55.220 Oh, shit.
00:05:57.140 The convenience store.
00:06:01.060 Chad, this fucking shit hurts my eyes, bro.
00:06:03.000 Um, daddy?
00:06:11.140 Hold on, baby.
00:06:16.800 Daddy, you know how...
00:06:18.600 Hey, I'll let you fall.
00:06:19.820 Concentrate.
00:06:20.320 Sorry.
00:06:20.820 No, say what happened, son.
00:06:24.100 It's okay.
00:06:24.700 I'm hungry.
00:06:25.520 Okay, but you know how what...
00:06:26.580 No, baby.
00:06:36.100 Oh, my God.
00:06:37.820 All right, son.
00:06:40.400 We're going to have to play a little game called Grand Theft Auto, okay?
00:06:43.880 So, what I need you to do is put on a big smile.
00:06:49.620 Smile, son.
00:06:51.360 Smiling.
00:06:51.940 Aren't you a big boy?
00:06:52.980 A big nine-year-old boy?
00:06:55.240 You just love your nine-year-old boys.
00:06:57.880 I love...
00:06:58.560 What?
00:06:59.420 All right, get in this car, son.
00:07:01.500 Come here.
00:07:02.820 This is my friend.
00:07:04.160 Excuse me.
00:07:04.800 I need your ride.
00:07:07.920 Whoa, son.
00:07:08.660 No, son.
00:07:09.260 No!
00:07:10.520 Get in.
00:07:15.060 No, I don't know you.
00:07:17.460 You're not going to go up to a random stranger and ask for a ride.
00:07:20.700 Wait, how do I go to my phone?
00:07:26.900 Shit, daddy don't even have a phone.
00:07:28.220 He dropped this shit at work.
00:07:35.560 Son.
00:07:36.980 Really, bro?
00:07:38.600 What?
00:07:39.120 What the?
00:07:41.520 Bro, the cops are ass.
00:07:43.120 Why is he driving on the wrong side of the road?
00:07:48.940 Bro, what the fuck?
00:08:00.920 Okay, son.
00:08:02.220 We're going to stop and get you some food.
00:08:03.860 But you got to help daddy make some money.
00:08:09.920 Come out.
00:08:12.220 Hold my hand.
00:08:13.060 Come here.
00:08:15.480 I got you.
00:08:16.160 Don't move.
00:08:19.120 Good boy.
00:08:24.780 That's a good boy.
00:08:26.940 We put you down now.
00:08:27.920 Come on in.
00:08:31.060 Wait, where the fuck is the liquor store?
00:08:34.480 Chad, chill out, bro.
00:08:35.420 Chill out.
00:08:40.560 Wrong store.
00:08:43.240 Daddy, I have to do something.
00:08:44.600 What do you have to do?
00:08:46.320 I have to take a piss, daddy.
00:08:48.820 Okay.
00:08:49.300 Come in the back alleyway.
00:08:50.060 Come here.
00:08:51.580 See, son.
00:08:52.460 The cool thing about us being men is we can just take out our peckers and piss on the wall.
00:08:56.360 But you got to go in.
00:08:56.940 I'm nine years old.
00:08:58.060 I know.
00:08:58.680 I know.
00:08:59.100 I'm going to teach you how to do it.
00:09:00.060 Okay.
00:09:01.220 Okay.
00:09:01.560 Come over here.
00:09:02.220 Okay.
00:09:04.540 Up these steps.
00:09:09.440 All right.
00:09:10.080 Here we go, son.
00:09:10.740 Take out your pecker.
00:09:14.020 And let it fly.
00:09:16.200 Careful, son.
00:09:16.780 Don't get in my piss.
00:09:19.060 I like combining the pee.
00:09:20.760 I know.
00:09:21.280 Here.
00:09:21.480 Let's sword fight.
00:09:22.020 Come here.
00:09:24.000 No.
00:09:25.780 Uh-oh.
00:09:26.720 You almost got me there.
00:09:33.860 Chill out.
00:09:34.860 Chill the fuck out.
00:09:36.140 Hey, Calvin.
00:09:36.560 Thanks for the fire gifted.
00:09:38.980 All right.
00:09:39.580 Anyways.
00:09:40.220 All right.
00:09:40.640 Come on down.
00:09:41.280 Let's go get some food.
00:09:43.860 Who the fuck is this?
00:09:47.760 Oh.
00:09:48.160 Get him, daddy.
00:09:50.160 Oh, fuck.
00:09:52.100 I got you, daddy.
00:09:53.360 Whoa.
00:09:53.640 All right.
00:09:55.620 Let's go in the store.
00:09:56.760 Come on.
00:10:01.340 All right.
00:10:01.880 All right.
00:10:02.580 We're not going to rob them, son.
00:10:04.120 Listen.
00:10:04.720 Give me.
00:10:05.320 Son.
00:10:05.800 Can I trust you with a gun?
00:10:07.720 Yes.
00:10:08.480 Promise.
00:10:10.160 I promise.
00:10:11.500 Okay.
00:10:12.720 Son.
00:10:13.460 No robbing.
00:10:15.600 Okay.
00:10:16.240 We're going to get food and leave.
00:10:17.780 Everybody get the fuck out.
00:10:23.180 No.
00:10:24.500 Shit.
00:10:24.940 Shit.
00:10:25.180 Shit.
00:10:25.400 Shit.
00:10:25.680 No.
00:10:30.380 Excuse me, Travis Scott.
00:10:31.620 You can't smoke in the store to begin with.
00:10:33.580 Show ass up, bro.
00:10:34.700 You just really.
00:10:35.460 Yeah.
00:10:35.700 Get on the fucking.
00:10:36.700 All right, son.
00:10:37.160 Put a gun to his fucking head.
00:10:38.580 Okay.
00:10:39.360 Yes, sir.
00:10:40.600 All right.
00:10:41.020 This is armed robbery, bald fuck.
00:10:42.760 Give me all the money and food y'all motherfuckers got.
00:10:44.820 I ain't got shit on me, bitch.
00:10:48.220 That is cap.
00:10:49.000 And don't.
00:10:49.520 You're really going to call me a bitch after we have a gun to your fucking dome?
00:10:52.280 Yo, son.
00:10:52.840 Shoot the ground next to him.
00:10:53.640 Don't shoot him.
00:10:54.280 Shoot next to him.
00:10:55.100 Oh.
00:10:56.000 Now you know the fucking deal.
00:10:57.580 Give me the fucking money, motherfucker.
00:10:59.120 I'm not playing with you.
00:11:00.100 Relax, relax.
00:11:01.140 Give me the money.
00:11:03.380 I have to go to the ATM over there real quick.
00:11:05.280 Get the fuck out of here with the.
00:11:06.400 I'm going to take you to the ATM then.
00:11:07.380 Yeah.
00:11:07.660 Pick him up.
00:11:08.120 Pick him up.
00:11:10.220 Come.
00:11:10.660 You're going to come with me.
00:11:12.560 Son, keep a gun on his head.
00:11:14.820 Um, okay.
00:11:17.220 The gun only has two bullets.
00:11:19.580 No!
00:11:20.300 God damn, you almost shot me.
00:11:21.740 Son, you have a bullet.
00:11:22.860 Don't!
00:11:24.060 Okay, I'm done.
00:11:24.720 What the fuck is wrong with you?
00:11:25.860 Hey, don't talk to him like that.
00:11:27.200 Get that money out and give it to me.
00:11:32.640 Hey, man.
00:11:33.400 Give us the money, man.
00:11:35.360 Hello?
00:11:38.080 Are you going to fucking do it or not?
00:11:42.340 Hey, get the fuck out.
00:11:43.400 Relax.
00:11:43.720 Hell nah.
00:11:45.880 Don't walk out that door.
00:11:48.960 Oh, hell nah.
00:11:49.760 I'll give you the money.
00:11:50.520 What else do you want, bitch?
00:11:51.340 All I want is $1,000, okay?
00:11:53.700 $1,000?
00:11:54.560 Yes.
00:11:55.840 Well, the ATM is broken.
00:11:59.300 That shit's not working.
00:12:01.080 Ah.
00:12:02.120 Oh!
00:12:03.720 Son!
00:12:04.580 Out the back!
00:12:05.680 Come on!
00:12:06.440 What?
00:12:10.480 What?
00:12:13.460 Okay, okay.
00:12:14.480 Son, go in that corner.
00:12:15.800 I'll go in.
00:12:16.980 Shut the door.
00:12:17.340 Shut up, then.
00:12:18.140 Here, son.
00:12:20.680 Son, just stay right there.
00:12:22.540 Can we go in the bathroom?
00:12:23.020 Hold on.
00:12:30.900 Whoa!
00:12:31.680 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:12:33.780 Listen.
00:12:34.880 There's nothing going on.
00:12:35.960 Look, we have a hostage back here.
00:12:37.460 I'll both fucking braid out.
00:12:38.960 Get the fuck back, you blue-haired bitch.
00:12:41.140 You ninja-looking bitch.
00:12:42.620 You look like ninja.
00:12:43.900 Back the fuck up, get out.
00:12:45.200 oh oh fuck
00:12:51.000 oh shit he's on our whoa what are you
00:12:57.960 son get back get back
00:13:04.720 son no son
00:13:09.480 let's get out of here run run get in this shit
00:13:17.400 get in
00:13:18.760 oh my god
00:13:21.840 oh fuck no
00:13:35.180 why did you why did you go into the only alleyway you idiot i know should we just run
00:13:42.600 oh run son run
00:13:50.060 no keep going
00:14:05.480 man i do nothing
00:14:20.320 don't move don't move son just let him do what he wants to do
00:14:24.740 man i do nothing
00:14:26.720 i didn't you didn't even read me my rights
00:14:30.280 son just just be there
00:14:38.840 yes i understand my rights
00:14:41.480 all right sir i'm gonna be searching
00:14:43.400 listen please listen listen listen my son
00:14:46.160 he's only nine years old he doesn't you can't please just
00:14:49.900 let him go
00:14:50.800 okay we'll understand that he's uh underage so
00:14:53.840 we'll deal with him all right but there's anything that's gonna post him you're supposed to be harming in the meantime
00:14:57.460 no just let me let me talk to my son please
00:15:00.260 sir may i ask you a question
00:15:01.820 yes
00:15:02.900 your son is nine and he's taller than you
00:15:06.040 really bro you're gonna really say that shit
00:15:08.640 he had a fucking growth spurt what the fuck can i say
00:15:11.840 sir why would you put you injure
00:15:14.800 what
00:15:15.740 he's only nine
00:15:17.380 he's my son i take him everywhere with me i'm a good dad
00:15:20.740 the fuck you
00:15:21.500 daddy you're taking pictures of me you're taking pictures of me
00:15:25.260 it's okay son it's okay
00:15:26.420 do we have um
00:15:29.720 no hey the gun on my son that's my gun that's my gun don't charge me for that
00:15:33.840 don't charge him for that that's my gun yes that's my gun
00:15:36.000 son it's okay
00:15:37.600 i'm gonna be searching you for my safeties and he's gonna poke
00:15:40.240 the son did nothing wrong
00:15:41.920 do not take him to custody
00:15:43.380 listen he did nothing wrong that's my gun i planted it on him okay that's my gun i'm taking the fall for it
00:15:48.580 let me just listen let him let him please he has nowhere to go he's with me
00:15:52.380 but please just
00:15:53.200 daddy daddy do they do they know about your word for your arrest
00:15:56.560 what do you mean what war
00:15:58.040 son
00:15:58.680 really son you know what fuck that that gun is his
00:16:02.800 that's his gun
00:16:04.120 no fuck you bitch
00:16:05.660 no
00:16:06.460 it's not mine i was just kidding
00:16:09.500 wait why did you take her on my back i played baseball with my son like an hour ago
00:16:14.760 i don't understand
00:16:15.520 sir that's just for now
00:16:16.180 all right all right do your thing then
00:16:17.960 that's just for now okay
00:16:18.880 so this one who owns this firearm
00:16:21.740 oh let's go
00:16:22.760 fine you know what i own the firearm what about it
00:16:25.420 all right then
00:16:27.180 okay
00:16:27.500 thank you sir
00:16:28.820 confessing
00:16:29.660 i don't even know if i should have taken the fall chat
00:16:31.660 i'm not gonna even see a lot of y'all bro
00:16:33.080 yeah
00:16:51.400 you
00:16:53.800 you
00:16:54.320 you
00:16:58.160 you
00:16:58.360 you
00:16:59.540 you
00:16:59.900 you
00:17:00.900 you
00:17:02.080 you
00:17:02.360 you
00:17:02.960 you