Ali Dawah - GOOD, BAD & UGLY OF MUSLIM DATING APPS

00:00:00.000 in my head i was thinking i have to do something very crazy instantly i don't know why this came

00:00:03.660 to mind but i was like i would i would maybe have to just punch it in the face i'm not asking i'm

00:00:07.680 not i'm not i'm not i'm not i'm not asking i'm not i'm not asking anyone to punch in the face

00:00:11.340 but what eventually happens is another guy will come on your feed and he will have a better job

00:00:17.320 so this happens with sisters they do kind of you know then message that guy to you know get to know

00:00:22.300 them you know i'm just going to talk to a few people here and there and if someone makes one

00:00:25.900 little mistake i'll move on to the next one that's it that's what guys do too to the people and you

00:00:30.500 know what it is as if allah's teachers listen oh that husband you loved he's gone now that wife that

00:00:35.060 was never going to leave you she's gone your kids are going to get married they're going to go so

00:00:38.600 i've had situations where they'll wear the hijab and then later on they'll they'll take off after

00:00:42.720 the date and stuff even men that are into their 30s and they're really lonely these apps make it so

00:00:48.920 difficult you know the tiny camel there's no faith now now it's not i have to do everything in my power

00:00:55.780 so this camel doesn't get lost maybe that's why you're not getting married because you don't

00:00:58.860 have trust you're chasing it you shouldn't chase it you should have faith in allah and um he's got

00:01:04.140 he said to the room please like if it doesn't work out just give you give my daughter back yeah

00:01:07.920 he's crying and his friend is very upset and all the comments were saying it's not oh what do you

00:01:12.580 mean give yeah he belongs she belongs to like she belongs to yeah like western women may not tell

00:01:18.600 you but like if a man you know is if he's not like protecting you in that way but like from

00:01:24.400 other men's gaze there's always going to be like a form of resentment within that woman's heart

00:01:28.820 she might not recognize it yeah but she shows through her act thank you because what you've

00:01:33.180 said she can come and say um oh that's a bit weird well you get that bro weird what the fuck

00:01:36.920 man is weird man you're you're bloody weird i've asked you in an honorable way to speak to your

00:01:40.820 father you call him you're weird you're the weirdo

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00:02:08.780 and donate what you can assalamualaikum warahmatullahi barakatuh brothers and sisters and dear

00:02:12.740 friends hope you guys are well insha'Allah welcome to the episode of the bitter truth show uh today

00:02:16.140 we're going to be talking about something very interesting which is um muslim dating apps or

00:02:20.940 whatever you want to call it for that matter um yes i had my personal experiences with them

00:02:25.220 actually when i first came to islam but i'll tell you guys about that a bit later uh so we have

00:02:28.860 alhamdulillah brother mahdi here and we've got michael who's a regular masha'Allah and we want

00:02:32.420 brother mahdi to be a regular as well insha'Allah we've got new sisters um sister lucky

00:02:36.900 yep and sister and amta and sister halima may allah bless you guys insha'Allah we would like you

00:02:43.040 guys to be regular as well uh for your contributions uh and brothers and sisters if you're watching at

00:02:46.840 home this this episode this show uh was started uh the aim is to preserve the marital unit there's

00:02:52.540 an outright attack on the marriage uh marriage as a whole divorces are happening uh so it's there to

00:02:57.660 you know understand each other better understand the opposite gender better and yes insha'Allah it

00:03:02.300 saves homes and houses uh insha'Allah and we stay married to akhira uh brothers and sisters so

00:03:07.440 today it's basically when it comes to um these muslim dating apps uh the pros and the cons uh i can go

00:03:15.700 into a lot of discussion about it as well but a lot of people are shy actually like for example if i

00:03:19.360 was to ask it was this was actually shunned at one moment like people think like if they mention

00:03:23.440 like oh i got married on this app it's like some ajeeb uh you know so i don't know if you guys want

00:03:28.260 it's a personal matter but have you guys ever been on it uh yeah i've been on once much before

00:03:32.380 well okay we'll beat that don't worry yeah well just don't mention the name but we'll beat it yeah

00:03:38.100 okay so you've been on one of those apps okay so because i was looking to get married and yes

00:03:42.220 and i thought like you know i've heard about it and i thought okay i might find a good brother there

00:03:47.240 and it was not good why not tell us your experience what happened um i feel like

00:03:52.200 i feel like the the men on there were looking for zina i genuinely believe like that's what they

00:04:00.700 were looking for they weren't they weren't serious they weren't committed and i just i it didn't feel

00:04:07.960 serious to me at all whatsoever like and i and the men on there were i don't know i just didn't i

00:04:16.000 didn't like it i didn't like it and i after after a day i just went off it because i just the

00:04:21.000 conversations were they weren't very sloppy basically they weren't people were they were

00:04:25.460 they like like they were a decent man out there it was like there was this there was this one guy

00:04:31.780 who asked me like what do you look without sorry what do you look like without your hijab and like

00:04:36.900 can i see a picture and stuff like that like so yeah there is there is an opinion on that but not

00:04:43.200 over the app i think it's when they come and you know come speak to the father etc there's i think

00:04:47.440 that hold the opinion that the woman can show the hair uh just for marriage yeah yeah so i'm very

00:04:54.860 sure uh because i'll be honest with you is that even correct islamic it's it's you can also because

00:04:59.220 the process said to one of the companions that go and see something in her that will incline you to

00:05:02.680 marry her so they derive from that for example you can see just so you guys know this is islam by the

00:05:07.340 ankles you can see the arms uh she can wear it she can wear a type of clothing that's baggy

00:05:14.380 but just gives you an idea um and she can show her hair yeah yeah this is this is actually yeah

00:05:20.640 it was like you couldn't see anything like you had to if that's at your discretion but it's for

00:05:25.580 example if i was to go and propose to my sister like i speak to the father had a couple of meetings

00:05:29.380 things look promising and i said look i would like to see without hijab it is allowed if you follow

00:05:33.640 that opinion is totally allowed like what if you decide like don't want to marry her but you've

00:05:38.020 just seen her without her okay but so so so so islamically that opinion says that it is allowed

00:05:42.160 so if things are looking promising and it's at the discretion of you if you say i prefer not to

00:05:46.520 okay no problem the man will decide okay i'm gonna you know it's fine okay it's not that deep or

00:05:51.220 or i have to i want to see so if but if you follow a different opinion saying no i don't do

00:05:55.940 it's totally up to you but it is a valid valid opinion um it's it's it's what is it based on

00:06:01.860 the hadith of the process when he said to set a companion go and see something in her that

00:06:06.300 will incline you so they derive from this that may be the ankle to get an idea like the risk

00:06:10.140 okay to see yeah so to a certain extent um and families are usually quite strict so they allow

00:06:15.160 so yeah but yeah that's that's an issue not that i'm saying it's wrong because you have a right to

00:06:18.760 say no i don't have to yeah so okay that was the experience sister and amta and sister halima

00:06:23.180 and you guys well have you have you been on the app sister or any kind of app i haven't personally

00:06:26.960 been on any app but um from what i've seen from friends and you know family that do use these

00:06:31.980 apps i do believe that these apps do um you know lead you to zinnah but before that what actually

00:06:38.580 happens is when you look for someone you're looking for get to get married on the app right so when you

00:06:42.500 look for your you know future spouse there's certain things you look for right on your feed you

00:06:47.060 have people you know like if a sister is looking for a husband the guys will be coming up with you

00:06:53.080 they'll have their like what they're working as their financial status and all of that

00:06:56.960 now when you start talking to that one person based on you know their financial position what

00:07:01.660 they look like their age etc it all fits your criteria but what eventually happens is another

00:07:07.360 another guy will come on your feed and he will have a better job now there will always be someone

00:07:12.640 better so what happens eventually now is you're gonna you know so this happens with sisters they do

00:07:17.340 kind of you know then message that guy to you know get to know them and then there's another third one

00:07:22.380 that comes up now he has talked to he has better money yeah exactly so what happens now is you're

00:07:27.200 juggling but i'm going to use the word juggling because that's what it is you're now talking to

00:07:30.940 three different guys but when you're asked which one you you know you're you want to go for you don't

00:07:37.060 know yeah now you keep talking to all three of them and eventually what happens is conversations

00:07:42.640 you know start to lead to oh you know i want to see a picture and this is where obscene pictures

00:07:47.340 videos it all leads to everything and in the end what happens is you're still not sure

00:07:50.740 so with apps i feel it's like you will come across someone who will fit your criteria of you

00:07:55.960 know who you want to marry but there will always be someone better so it does lead to you not being

00:08:01.200 sure not deciding anything that's actually used to yeah i was gonna say i think there should be like

00:08:05.480 guidelines uh on the app the issue is these apps they don't they don't care about that they say

00:08:11.460 they're islamic apps i've been on quite a few of them um in in the past right and um the the stuff

00:08:17.460 i've experienced is crazy like they just want to make money out of it that's all it is you know

00:08:21.820 they're like they're like you know just normal um dating apps but just muslim version that's not

00:08:27.820 the case though i disagree with this because my friend i used to work with her okay i found her in

00:08:33.600 the supermarket she's like pregnant and i'm like wow congratulations when did you get married and

00:08:39.980 she's like oh a few months ago and i've moved to manchester as well and so i was like how how did

00:08:47.000 you get married like how did you find this fella and she's like off this app yeah and she's like

00:08:52.820 honestly i was on the app for like six months straight like i put my effort into it and then when i stopped

00:09:00.780 putting effort into it i just let allah kind of drive it and then for somehow i found this guy when i lost

00:09:09.560 on the app from the app yeah yeah i found her there in the supermarket pregnant and i was like

00:09:18.240 whoa the issue with that is the exception doesn't make the rule so what do you mean from personal

00:09:22.740 experience it's like every hundred women i've spoken to one of them might be actually what i'm

00:09:27.460 looking for yeah most people on these apps just from personal experience right they're not looking

00:09:32.180 for like a long-term relationship and i know sister laki said um that the men on there they're quite

00:09:37.300 like they want something else right but from my experience women also want that the stuff i've

00:09:42.600 seen that has been messaged to me is like insane as the brother said i'm a good-looking guy so you

00:09:48.980 know that's mashallah you're a good-looking guy but you don't want two wives what's going on

00:09:53.680 that's with everything you have to sift it out like if you're looking for a nice car

00:09:58.040 a specific car you have to go everywhere and look for that specific car yeah you can't just expect

00:10:04.180 every person on an app that's good with these with these apps you need i think a higher sense of

00:10:10.700 like um strong will because it's easy to fall into this and i believe when you get into these apps

00:10:15.860 you sort of lose a bit of your innocence by the way guys are messaging you girls are messaging me etc

00:10:20.460 and to be honest i found like really good people on the app it just didn't work out you know i mean

00:10:24.620 but the same apps just everyone's just stealth apps i said this i said this in a previous episode

00:10:30.240 um yeah brother i'm not gonna lie you're right when this when it comes to the marketing with it

00:10:35.240 is the same as it's the same as tinder bumble hinge it just has muslim at the front that's it

00:10:40.400 obviously there is the exception you do have you do have but that's just your personal

00:10:45.600 you all have the friends that will be able to find their partner but at the same time they're just

00:10:52.900 like they're just not good like it's gonna promote zina it's gonna promote all different things that

00:10:57.560 all the same things that bumble tinder it already is yeah so it's just stay away from it and you know

00:11:03.100 and i am sorry to cut you off that's fine i said in a previous episode about um obviously you don't

00:11:07.960 have to you don't have to believe uh when it comes to the genetic mixing of when they can pick and

00:11:13.560 choose who you have kids with and you have no idea they give you a selection of people for you to swipe

00:11:18.180 you don't actually get to pick who you're swiping at all you just come across the person who's the best

00:11:23.460 looking in your bunch that's it when it comes to the questions about taking your hijab off that's

00:11:28.460 wrong like like fine obviously um the companion but at the same time i i just like it's this the

00:11:36.020 ill intent it's not for the right reasons yeah i genuinely believe like this it wasn't for for the

00:11:41.680 fact that i want to see what you look like like before i make the decision to marry you i felt like

00:11:47.000 it was more of like like he was sexualizing and objectifying pieces he's not because he's not

00:11:51.740 sitting there he's not sitting there in his home but okay you know really you know like i'm really

00:11:56.000 looking for a wife and i'm doing this out of the goodness of my heart yeah he's not like maybe he

00:12:01.000 that's what i felt maybe he is the majority of the time he like in my opinion i feel like the muslim

00:12:06.480 men that go on there are looking for for obviously going on there for muslim women but they also going

00:12:11.940 on there they're not they they would go on bubble they would go on tinder they would go on hinge but

00:12:15.760 they're not going to find a lot of muslim women that they're going to be interested in so they

00:12:18.820 just go on the muslim one to find girls that they personally find attractive and they're going to

00:12:22.560 have the same motives as the men on the three ones that i've just repeatedly mentioned as well

00:12:27.080 with these apps you have to weigh up right is there more benefit to the ummah or is there a more

00:12:32.280 disadvantage and i know you said your will friend wait let me let me let me finish let me finish

00:12:36.440 so with what you was it your friend you said you saw he was pregnant so that's one case of it

00:12:41.300 working out positively right i can mention to you now a million other cases where

00:12:45.480 it's end up in divorce a baby out of wedlock she actually advised me to do that no fair enough

00:12:50.880 but that's no i understand that but that's your everyone's got personal personal experiences right

00:12:55.600 from my personal experience and hundreds of others i've spoken to about this and seen on tiktok

00:12:59.840 they've always said it's so much fitna having that much choice and an app it isn't good for you

00:13:05.040 your brain the way it's wired you're thinking you're thinking 100 you're seeing a pretty girl you're

00:13:10.420 thinking yeah she's talking to me i'm the you know i'm i'm popular check me out

00:13:13.900 build your ego 100 for men especially like it gives you a force even for women like let's say

00:13:19.420 you have a lot of options uh like all these men have like i don't know how i forgot how it works but

00:13:24.920 i guess swiping right on you uh yeah like all these guys want me i can have whoever i want

00:13:30.640 um so you know i'm just gonna talk to a few people here and there and if someone makes one

00:13:35.460 little mistake i'll move on to the next one that's it that's what guys do too a real like connection

00:13:40.520 formed with one person is this like a trust me it's a it's a false sense of reality like sister

00:13:47.740 and i'm just said uh mashallah may allah bless her spot on uh when it comes to this it's it's the

00:13:52.640 the comparison is the greatest destroyer of joy and this is exactly the biggest problem we're facing

00:13:57.760 today bro just imagine like and i give this example like i say imagine bro i bring you a fruit yeah and

00:14:03.220 the fruit is called give me a name no apple man something different mango mango i'm just make it

00:14:09.680 up let's call it make it no the fruit is called lulu let's call it lulu this is an amazing fruit

00:14:14.940 called lulu and i'm like bro try this man this lulu fruit is amazing and you take a bite and you're

00:14:18.840 like oh my gosh this is yeah now you're happy with lulu yeah sounds like a a woman yeah it's it's a

00:14:25.260 fruit yeah so you're happy and you're like this is good now you go about and then you're and

00:14:29.440 somebody comes to you you see that fruit that he gave you got the same one try this you're trying

00:14:33.620 you're like bro that one was dead and then imagine try another one and another one another one now

00:14:38.720 you're not happy with the first one that's my point there's too much choice exactly there's too

00:14:41.780 much options your full sense of reality yeah and not only that when you have think you have that kind

00:14:46.540 of option that where oh yeah that person like me that's like me and it gives you a false sense of

00:14:51.120 reality yeah and now you're making decisions based on that and it is so detrimental now i agree with

00:14:55.760 this is halima i have heard this story successful yeah yeah so what i've done is and i broke it down

00:15:00.220 to because in the marriage documentary we actually went undercover on these apps by the way we went

00:15:04.420 full out undercover we had we had sisters who were looking to get married and a brother and they would

00:15:09.280 go and we will see that for example the dynamics the sisters um getting to know a brother and i

00:15:13.800 come in arguments and go by the way i'm her um her brother yeah just i'm in the conversation

00:15:18.800 brothers were bouncing oh is it oh why in the conversation for yeah i'm not interested in this

00:15:23.960 so we did a case study we went deep deep into the algorithms the words that they use and when we

00:15:29.760 come out with our findings and i think it's in episode three or four i released this where we

00:15:33.100 try to go and speak to the owners and say these are our findings why are you using these terminologies

00:15:36.440 why is the video why is this and that etc so why just to assess is this good or bad there is

00:15:42.140 possibilities like you said i know of people who actually got married yeah so what it brought me down

00:15:46.020 to is the following is that generally they are harmful and i'll tell you my experience in 2013

00:15:52.140 yeah generally they're harmful but if you have a good relation with allah and you feel a lot

00:15:58.140 and and you still don't think you're uh immune from zina by the way you should always have your

00:16:02.860 guards up but it can be a means that allah finds you someone through there it is possible do not

00:16:07.400 disregard i tell everybody when you're looking to get married try it it might be i know practicing

00:16:13.220 brothers who found good sisters or good brothers through there it's a possibility but there is a great

00:16:19.640 danger with it there's a great danger when i was a new muslim in 2013 i hadn't i didn't know any

00:16:25.780 muslims etc i just knew these apps i went on to this yeah bro let me tell you something yeah

00:16:30.120 bro let me bro i came from a jahiliya yeah all this kind of nonsense that i would be i kind of

00:16:35.120 i'm ashamed of this i'm proud of it partying girls all this kind of stuff but i came and

00:16:39.360 wallahi bro i repented i stopped i said to myself never ever am i touching a girl in my way ever

00:16:44.700 inshallah and bro i would go to these apps muslim girls bro that i would meet and by the way i didn't

00:16:49.900 know about this awalee speaking to the guardian yeah i was like okay i'm meeting her for the

00:16:53.240 intention of marriage i didn't know about this guardian thing so it was early stages for me

00:16:56.240 and bro wallahi if you knew what they were calling me to okay well as a man bro i had to literally

00:17:02.900 know better and be like like i and it disappointed me so much that because i had i held muslim women

00:17:09.960 hijabs in high regard on the apps on the app yeah that's what i'm saying cool to me it shattered me

00:17:15.360 inside bro i lost hope because i'm coming from a jahili of girls in a property dress okay we've lost

00:17:19.760 hope in them you come and you see a woman in hijab and then she's calling you to haram bro do you know

00:17:24.940 what it did to my iman rumble bro i was like like it shook me to the core and i hated that so i came off

00:17:31.060 it bro because anyone i would meet either bro they're trying to touch my hand they're bro they

00:17:36.300 were moving funny that so much so i had to correct them and say i have some shame trust i bro as a man

00:17:40.940 i had to tell the sister in hijab sister hello like you have observing you know and i realized to

00:17:47.260 myself bro hijab is not what it doesn't mean bro i've learnt my lesson it's the individual not only

00:17:52.240 in the car bro i don't care if she's wearing a motorbike helmet it means nothing to me because that

00:17:57.100 is a relation between i'm so sorry it sounds mad yeah i know sisters in niqabs

00:18:00.640 they wear niqab to do mad stuff so their face is not identified yeah so i'm not seeing all of them

00:18:05.820 there are good sisters who observe the niqab do not make judgments on appearance that's what i'm

00:18:10.460 going to say that was my experience but it is plausible my experience is similar sorry sister i'll

00:18:15.680 let you speak first um i also think it comes down to your niya as well you know there's um you know

00:18:22.180 actions are only by intentions and i think you have to be very strong-minded when you go on an app

00:18:28.240 and you start to talk to people you're very smart with what you're dealing with as soon as you see

00:18:34.200 a guy or if a woman's looking for a guy or man's you know either way whoever's looking for one another

00:18:40.500 if you automatically sense any type of you know um if if a guy's coming across for you as flirt you

00:18:47.480 know flirtatious or just basically poor i can't word it um i feel like you have to have your guard

00:18:54.660 you know just a desire of lust yeah away from it leave it end that conversation and just leave it

00:19:00.800 there that way it won't go to an extent where you fall into zina so i feel like it comes down to your

00:19:05.360 intention as well and your intention will only be strong if you have a strong relationship with

00:19:10.200 allah you know if you have that you're got when you intend to go on an app i want to look for this

00:19:15.340 person and i don't want to fall into any zina so you have to be mindful of oh this is what you can

00:19:20.740 come across and once you're mindful of what you can come across as soon as you do come across it you

00:19:25.140 know that's where it needs to stop the issue yeah the issue with that is um as i mentioned before you

00:19:30.400 know a lot of people lose their innocence going on these apps so they might have the sort of thought

00:19:33.820 process i just want to find a good man or a good woman right but they lose their way because

00:19:37.820 they're seeing all this attention come and statistically when you have this much options

00:19:41.440 it does mess your brain up it's wired differently you're thinking you know you've got an ego on

00:19:45.560 you you can choose who you want so people lose their way they might have a good relationship with

00:19:49.480 allah but regardless people still lose their way do you know what i mean and my my situation was

00:19:54.300 similar to um uh the brother one actually tell us what happened like with you what happened um

00:20:00.320 what just on the apps yeah no i just what just i just went on the apps basically and um i thought

00:20:07.320 because at that point i think i was like 22 23 and i just thought you know like i was born in

00:20:12.240 non-muslim city so let me try going on the apps um gave it a go and i went on like a few dates here

00:20:18.800 and there right to public restaurants and stuff in birmingham and it just they weren't what i was

00:20:23.780 looking for or they lied about certain stuff so they did wait this whole um filter makeup the

00:20:29.900 biggest lie on this planet earth and please tell us because i'm telling you i i'm just

00:20:34.200 tell you story later because because you meet a sister and like you're like you're not the same

00:20:40.240 person yeah you know what it is though with that well i'd overlook that if the personality is like

00:20:44.940 good enough if they're practicing so i've had situations where they'll wear the hijab

00:20:48.620 and then later on they'll they'll take off after the date and stuff do you know what i mean it's crazy

00:20:53.880 man some of the stuff that happens on these dates tell me your experience with that so one you're wearing

00:20:57.560 a hijab and she doesn't wear any jab have you ever come across someone that looks totally different

00:21:01.220 like probably like you are not the same person no because you just wear makeup again isn't it

00:21:05.340 same as the way they were in most much yeah you know you know what it is i don't i don't go on

00:21:11.120 dates with um women who wear loads of makeup anyway because i know that it's just a cover do you know

00:21:15.460 i mean i know i'm just smart enough to realize if she looks if she's got this much makeup on what's

00:21:20.680 she going to look like in real life call me sexist if you want that's just the approach i have

00:21:24.340 i'll be honest i used to take wet wipes with me no i'm i'm i'm i'm being serious i if it's come to a

00:21:30.260 certain point where it's getting serious i would say i would like to see you with that makeup

00:21:33.080 like like straight up bro listen what i just want to say about the apps is they're only really built

00:21:38.040 for attractive people as well i mean yeah when it when if you go on there looking like the elephant

00:21:43.540 man you're not gonna like you're not gonna get anyone which is a shame um we're already in an

00:21:47.860 unnatural society there's too many of us so when you got the apps as well on top of all of that that

00:21:53.740 makes it even worse if you went back 5 000 years and you were unattractive you wouldn't have

00:21:58.140 trouble finding a mate because there's little to no selection yeah exactly again options yes

00:22:04.140 options whereas i just think that's the main point really i mean it is so it just makes it more

00:22:08.940 different like for the attractive people quite much attractive who people find attractive so

00:22:14.700 like symmetrical faces and whatnot but for those that are unattractive they're gonna have a really

00:22:19.400 difficult time even men that are into their 30s and they're really lonely these apps make it so

00:22:25.560 difficult like you have you have certain people who will find a partner but think about the people

00:22:30.800 that it hurts even more it's not worth on a general basis it's more it's more harmful because it's way

00:22:36.440 more harmful the good doesn't like the good doesn't outweigh that's it that's what i'm saying and you

00:22:40.780 know it's picking up on the age yeah what you said about like the you know there's older people on

00:22:45.100 there and stuff as well it got to a point where all the sisters my age range 22 23 24 they were all so

00:22:51.140 like they weren't about marriage just about for making friends and doing whatever right going

00:22:55.140 lounges this and that so you got to a point where i was looking for women 28 29 30 even older because

00:23:00.400 they were more mature and like they've gone through divorces and stuff but i was just thinking bro i'm

00:23:04.720 never going to find anyone my age who's like mature enough to like actually want a marriage

00:23:08.840 everyone's on it that's about so that's that's my experience with it again i've got situations where

00:23:15.680 my cousins i've married from musmash oh crap vipa yeah i've had situations where i've got like

00:23:20.860 family i've married from these apps and stuff and but it's it's rare as opposed to general like

00:23:26.100 population i think that's the important thing yeah i was gonna say at the end of the day whether

00:23:34.180 whatever platform you use however like whether you meet someone in real life whatever it is it's all

00:23:40.760 kader of allah like it's all down to allah you make your du'as and he will find someone for you

00:23:47.660 um you just have to have that faith and that trust in allah regardless because there's a lot of people

00:23:52.820 there's obviously that i guess i don't know maybe an epidemic of lonely men uh who are struggling to

00:23:58.000 find women you have to have your faith in allah you have to trust allah and fall into the red

00:24:03.160 yeah 100 like you have to you have to um build that relationship with allah because allah will put

00:24:09.340 someone in your life when you're not looking for them when you're ready and when and when you're

00:24:14.600 ready is specifically when you're when you build that relationship with allah that's what i think

00:24:20.180 anyway it's very fundamental what you say you know and i say this in every episode like a lot of episodes

00:24:24.520 is that um we we take we think that this is in our hands this is the biggest mistake we make so we

00:24:30.020 know the hadith of the prophet ma'am which a man came and he left his camel untied and he walked

00:24:34.420 he was walking to the masjid i think and the prophet said why have you inspired your camel

00:24:37.820 and he said i have my trust in allah and he said that's good but tie your camel now if you think

00:24:44.180 about it that hadith teaches a lot of things and the first thing it teaches us is that the people

00:24:47.980 in those times had great level of tawakul to the level they thought i don't even need to tie it

00:24:52.020 yeah we know from the deen that you have to you get it you can't yeah even your door unlock you have

00:24:55.720 to lock it today we have the opposite which is what bro bro forget lock your doors forget you know

00:25:03.800 the time the camel there's no faith now now it's no tawakul i have to do everything in my power so

00:25:09.760 this camel doesn't get lost maybe that's why you're not getting married because you don't have trust

00:25:13.060 you're chasing it you shouldn't chase it you should have faith in allah have faith in god's plan

00:25:17.640 there is there is no tawakul yeah maybe you're just thinking i'm gonna make this exactly no you know

00:25:23.100 that's why you're not getting married they think that they think that it is in their hands

00:25:27.680 so the analogy we give that the example we give is with the camel it's that forget tying the camel

00:25:32.740 they've killed the camel the camel is dead because they're so fixated in i need to make sure my camel

00:25:39.220 doesn't run away to the level where they've been there and the camel is dead and they're like your

00:25:42.580 brother you know you're tying it yeah it's done but your camel is dead yeah you know why that comes

00:25:46.300 because there is no tawakul in allah and today what we do is what happens is the following yeah is that

00:25:51.480 we take the aql over the naql i always mention this we take our um false logical thinking over what

00:25:57.440 god commanded okay because we believe that all things are possible so what happens is sisters

00:26:01.120 come and say in order for me to get married um i know let me show my hair let me get my lips done

00:26:06.480 let me get this done now exactly you know what's happening here there is no tawakul look how much

00:26:12.200 of an insult it is to allah that you are saying allah i don't trust that you can find someone for me

00:26:18.600 i'm taking matters into my own hands by committing haram and showing my hair and putting makeup on

00:26:24.080 aki can you imagine the insult the one who's created the heavens and the earth you're basically

00:26:29.040 telling allah who says that the birds are fed with when they go out with a hungry stomach and you're

00:26:33.980 saying oh allah i don't trust you enough therefore i'm taking the matters into my own hands to the

00:26:39.180 level of committing haram sisters do this when it comes to their beauty brothers do it when it comes

00:26:43.360 to earning an income so what this the same thing oh it's hard to get a job this that i'm gonna sell

00:26:47.740 drugs yeah and allah who created the heavens and earth cannot provide for you so you're gonna go

00:26:51.780 and commit haram this is the problem we're facing today no tawakul is left it's all in my hands

00:26:58.000 people think yeah i need to go to the app you know i need to yeah maybe let me be a bit flirty you know

00:27:02.240 because otherwise no men are going to talk to me like sister annam said yeah and may allah bless and

00:27:05.300 preserve her because what she said is zero tolerance i'm telling you and i'm telling you this because

00:27:11.080 allah says talk about its favors as a reaver who came to islam bro i was so sickened to the lifestyle

00:27:17.260 that i lived when i came to islam bro i had zero tolerance bro to the level of allah let me tell

00:27:22.520 you something some sisters will call me to outright haram bro outright haram and bro i to myself i would

00:27:30.060 like you look you look at the surah yusra when he was tempted by the woman yeah there's three things

00:27:35.720 he done number one he said i seek refuge in allah from the curse shaitan number two allah says and he

00:27:40.080 and we've reminded him of our favors remembered allah looks after me allah blesses me allah takes

00:27:45.180 care of me and what was the third one he took physical action by running to the door yeah so

00:27:50.320 the thing is here that we have to know better and as men that you know to protect yourself from that

00:27:56.120 zero tolerance the moment i was speaking to a sister and getting let's say one one week just

00:28:01.460 getting to know some basic questions because if you go to the dad straight away it might be that she

00:28:05.660 says i want to work and i don't want you to work the moment i will mention her father bro do you know

00:28:09.180 how many sisters run away can i speak to your father oh he's away from turkey yeah can i speak

00:28:13.720 to your brother they think my brother is working i'm like a lot of sister wife did anyone in your

00:28:17.040 family die you know and bro wallahi they would run away there's a lot of women these days who have

00:28:21.880 commitment issues yes they don't know they don't they don't want to look let me say something

00:28:26.060 they don't want they want a guy they respect a man more when he comes and says hey chunting drop me

00:28:33.400 your digits yeah they have more respect to that guy than if a brother came and said sister i would have to

00:28:38.200 speak to your wallet why he they shun you bro they're like speak to my dad i was gonna say i

00:28:43.180 genuinely believe it is deep rooted you know i did say that women um i do think it's deep

00:28:49.280 because i feel like it does come down to the fact that a lot of these women don't know their worth

00:28:54.480 um where they don't know their worth because islam came to honor you with rights um and it's like

00:29:01.840 there's rules and regulations in terms of like we call it carting not dating um in terms of when it

00:29:07.920 when it comes to getting to know a man for marriage and it's there for your protection

00:29:12.900 not for the it's for your protection um because it's so easy for a man to get into your head

00:29:18.460 talk because a man can say all these nice words and and and manipulate attention yeah and it's

00:29:25.680 you feel validated in that moment and and then you might give yourself up to this man like it's there's

00:29:31.760 so much dangers like for you to be able to get to know a man without yeah like let's say a wali

00:29:37.720 involved or like a third person yeah you might remember if there's two people like a man and a

00:29:43.340 woman who are not married if they're alone together someone needs to be there the third person is

00:29:48.680 looking over the situation and people think uh in person that needs to be the case but also in chat

00:29:53.780 i've actually had women on these apps saying um do you mind if my older brother older sister

00:29:57.960 whatever monitors the chat oh yeah that's fine yeah i prefer that over and it also keeps the man

00:30:02.860 in check yeah yeah there's somebody like she her wali is going to be watching it so i need to be

00:30:07.560 careful what i say to her how i speak to her um he's going to be very careful he's not going to

00:30:12.800 cross her boundaries because there's another man keeping him in check i will say one

00:30:17.420 yeah yeah exactly i will say one thing though just from personal experience like these apps

00:30:22.860 have ruined so many people's lives like from a religious perspective right um like long term the

00:30:28.740 way they view women or the way the women view men it's almost like they're disposable next next

00:30:33.860 next oh yeah i was chatting to five gal the other day but uh i like two of them i'll get rid of the

00:30:37.980 other three that's so common like it's so common i feel like women look at men like they're just

00:30:43.660 like like atm machine oh and uh women and men look at uh women like they're just like objects

00:30:50.080 this is generally speaking obviously um yeah and it the worst thing is when you go on these apps

00:30:57.420 right i'll see someone oh like she's she's practicing the hijab she's wearing everything

00:31:01.520 appropriately her her sort of news her feed like her profile it all looks like good for what i want

00:31:07.460 right i'll speak to her and she'll say the most craziest stuff and i'll be like whoa i'm taking her

00:31:12.000 back like the reason i went on these apps was to avoid stuff like the other non-muslim dating apps

00:31:16.520 right i'm not going on that to go onto these apps and seeing like how much of a how similar it was

00:31:21.040 although yeah this is insane this isn't for me yeah you have to have your boundaries when you go

00:31:25.640 on these apps if you don't put your boundaries out up front once you start speaking that keeps the man

00:31:31.360 in check and you also it keeps you in check as well if you say you know this is what i'm looking for

00:31:36.560 this is what i want and you're not getting the same you know you're not he's not on the same page

00:31:41.700 or you're not getting the same response that's it that's the end of the conversation if you

00:31:45.600 entertain it more and if you think that oh maybe you know let's talk he might come up you know he

00:31:49.980 might be on the same page as me or he might change his thoughts his mindset no but the issue with that

00:31:54.820 is people people like you might have the intention going in i said this before you'll have the intention

00:31:59.180 of finding the right person right you don't want to mess about it's so easy for us to get distracted

00:32:03.700 right and it'll ruin your iman it'll ruin your like your view and religion do you know i mean

00:32:08.340 you know i was gonna say i and and so these apps are like uh people fall in love so quickly

00:32:13.160 nowadays be like i love this person you know i mean it's all physicality and these exact that's

00:32:18.140 what i'm saying and with these apps it's all images right never meet them in person until a few weeks

00:32:22.820 down the line so you're looking at this guy thinking yeah he's good looking that's the most

00:32:26.000 important thing that he's got banter he's flirty that's it i've asked so many of my friends like

00:32:30.120 what do you look for in the girl that are you know just funny and just like you know flirty banter

00:32:33.660 good looks this and that i was like bro like is she practicing though

00:32:37.880 is that that'll come with time so you're looking at it wrong there's also that saying you are what

00:32:42.100 you attract so you will attract the type of person you are like within yourself um if you have you

00:32:49.040 know that strong iman and there's certain things you won't tolerate like you're gonna come across

00:32:53.080 you're gonna yes there's gonna be a lot of people that you you're gonna have to say no to but then

00:32:58.100 you're gonna eventually find someone who's on the same page as you well what's gonna happen quicker

00:33:02.640 you're gonna find someone that's good for you or you're gonna like destroy your iman

00:33:05.700 it's it's exactly i'm not saying i agree like yeah i don't like that i'm just calling devil's

00:33:10.680 advocate i think like so guys what's the solution solution is having faith in allah that's the

00:33:16.820 biggest thing right and of what what the brother said as well you should also search for yourself

00:33:21.020 if you're just sitting at home you're never going to find it but you need to have that faith in

00:33:24.500 allah more than anything if you're if you're on these apps yeah and you're feeling yourself slowly

00:33:29.340 drifting away from like religion then you need to be like right like this isn't right for me

00:33:33.140 i'll wait a bit longer maybe allah will provide someone for me but he's right too quickly people

00:33:37.780 are like just giving up on religion you need to like so giving up on faith they're connection you

00:33:41.700 need to look i see this like wallahi if you put your trust in like allah says in the quran

00:33:45.980 in surah tala he says that if you if i if you put your trust in him if you fear him you fear him

00:33:51.860 fear him is what akhi you fear that you might fall into zina yeah that fear means that you're

00:33:55.820 good conscious do you get what i'm trying to say i will give you a way out from places you will never

00:34:00.540 imagine okay this is allah's kingdom what an insult to allah that you don't trust is going to find

00:34:05.500 someone for you bro if you fix your relation with allah your salah your fasting your zakah yeah bro how

00:34:11.500 many people do this staying away from major sins yeah obedient to parents yeah okay to the best of

00:34:16.700 your ability wallahi i'm telling you the process said and this is why i emphasize so much in this

00:34:22.140 first do this then look at those options do you get it the process saw a man and he said what he wears is

00:34:27.820 haram what he eats is haram how does he expect his dua to be accepted so the point is what if we

00:34:36.780 fix our affairs with allah allah will fix our affairs with the people everything in that matter

00:34:41.100 do you get it we don't do that and that's why we know the religion is made easy for us to know why

00:34:46.620 because bro if we put in the hardship now like there's a verse in the quran allah says

00:34:50.380 it's one of my favorite ayahs with hardship comes ease if with hardship comes ease what's the

00:34:57.820 opposite with ease comes

00:34:59.340 listen carefully thank you listen if with hardship comes ease the opposite has to be true with ease

00:35:05.980 comes hardship do you know what that means i'm so sorry do you know what that means everyone today

00:35:11.340 is going for easy options yeah jump on the dating app etc what's the hard thing to do in the beginning

00:35:17.580 to patience patience obedience to allah salah that's the hard thing to do but if you implement that hard

00:35:23.740 thing now and stick to allah's legislation in the long run you're going to have ease but everyone does

00:35:28.860 the opposite which is what now let's just go for the easy option i can't be bothered rushing to find

00:35:32.460 someone when you do the easy now what follows the long term hardship that that's exactly the key this

00:35:38.140 is what we're missing here everyone's jumping onto this that first do this bro and look i've been on

00:35:43.260 these apps yeah i've seen success stories as well yeah but i'm saying once you do that as a god

00:35:47.740 conscious person and you approach a sister in a mean like in a respectful way assalamualaikum

00:35:51.740 sister i saw your profile i have a liking i would like to know some quick ask some questions if you feel

00:35:56.220 the same way i would like to know you a bit and i would like to speak to your father done i even done

00:36:00.860 this when it came to like if i came across the system instagram same i had the same bro copy and paste

00:36:06.460 and i would say the same thing to the sister and we can have a different topic about social media

00:36:10.140 approaching people so social media the moment you do that though that protects her that protects you

00:36:15.660 and not only that it lets you know what she's about because what you sense she can come and say

00:36:20.060 um oh that's a bit weird well you get that bro weird what the fuck is weird man you're you're bloody

00:36:24.380 weird i've asked you in an honorable way to speak to your bloody father you're calling me weird you're

00:36:27.740 the weirdo and women you know some women there's women that actually seek that when you approach a

00:36:33.180 woman like this it has to be respectful but nowadays that doesn't seem the case it has to be

00:36:37.580 it has to come across like oh you know you look very beautiful yeah it shouldn't be like that it

00:36:42.460 should be just like brother ali said it should be i would like to speak to your father but for some

00:36:46.460 reason today people women don't like that and i don't know why that is but it won't be like they want

00:36:52.380 the peace sister you know that i talked to you about the hardship is what an honorable man

00:36:56.140 oppression in that way but they want something that makes them feel good in the moment

00:36:59.740 we want instant gratification the dopamine fast cars fast hand dryers amazon prime everything in

00:37:06.780 our mind is so fastly done psychologically we carry that into our friendship yeah marriages because

00:37:12.700 we're thinking i don't get what i want and how else i can do something better yeah friends he done

00:37:16.140 something i don't like i've never seen any good from him the same attitude is carried on how can we fix

00:37:21.660 this i keep by fixing like i said before there's clear eyes in the quran pick i told people pick your

00:37:27.340 hardships either the hardship is going to be praying to allah now this is not of course it's not even

00:37:32.860 obedience to allah etc the other hardship is what going against his legislation and guess what

00:37:37.660 when you go against this legislation you are in a state of disobedience yeah it's going to come at

00:37:42.220 the cost of your akhira and not only that allah says in the quran surah yusuf the wrongdoers will

00:37:46.460 not be successful you know what this means it's as good as when you disobey allah you are putting

00:37:51.740 minds in front of you and you're going to go on that path and get hurt so the point is what pick

00:37:57.340 your hardship either the hardship is going to come by you they're obeying allah following his

00:38:01.740 legislation and then allah gives you a good ending or you're going to follow the easy route which is

00:38:06.380 what okay and it's haram and then i'll fall into zina he ends up leaving you he ends up using you're

00:38:10.540 broken now the next one that's going to marry you you are going to destroy him because you are

00:38:14.540 do you get it so look at it so what i'm saying is which hardship you want to go for the one that's going

00:38:19.260 to destroy your life in this dunya or the hardship that's going to benefit you it's going to be hard

00:38:23.980 don't get it twisted allah says in the quran don't say you're going to say i believe and not be tested

00:38:27.900 i will test it bro i allah tested me and not just me many brothers i know to the point actually i felt

00:38:34.380 as if allah pushed me off the cliff i don't know why and i'm falling to the floor and i'm asking a

00:38:39.020 question what did i do to deserve this but when you have tawakran say allah knows best yeah yeah and

00:38:44.540 before you hit that floor i've seen this with practicing brothers bro that allah has a sunnah

00:38:50.860 before you hit that floor this much you're like i'm dead allah picks you up takes you to the cliff

00:38:56.140 and you see a palace wallah al-adhim bro any brother or sister i've seen who observed allah's laws allah

00:39:03.420 gave them i'm telling you the doors to everything that's all i'm going to say i've seen it with my

00:39:07.740 own eyes i've heard it with my own ears and anyone that has disorbeyed allah's legislation i've seen

00:39:13.100 nothing but chaos and destruction that's that's that's the thing as well if you have faith if you

00:39:17.740 have faith in islam if you have faith in allah um you will eventually get married and even if you

00:39:22.540 don't marriage isn't the most important thing in life there's other things in in you know what i

00:39:27.180 mean in your life that you need to focus on it'll come if you chase marriage it's not going to happen

00:39:31.420 like according to what you want it's allah's will isn't it at the end of the day so when you rush

00:39:35.100 and go on these apps and stuff saying oh my my age is expiring i'm a woman i'm 20 i need to find

00:39:39.580 someone asap i'd say is the general consensus for women right it's like they'll rush into these

00:39:44.140 marriages on these apps and stuff and then it doesn't work out well it ends up in divorce can

00:39:48.380 i can i just mention sorry um you know sarah she was the wife of ibrahim and she was given hajar as a

00:39:59.180 gift and then sarah was like well i can't have a baby so why don't you ibrahim and then we have

00:40:08.140 ismail and then ismail and hajar were left in the desert so that's that side but then sarah over

00:40:15.180 years she was able to give ibrahim a baby and she was in like her late 40s yeah 40s so you know when

00:40:24.620 someone says to you like oh you're you know you haven't had a baby yet in your 30s or you've got

00:40:29.980 an expiration date on your room like please don't believe this i'll say incorrect because just believe

00:40:36.220 in allah yeah like allah exactly this is life you don't you don't know what's going to happen in

00:40:42.540 the future that's what that's how we we go we plan we plan our days you know but we don't know what's

00:40:48.380 going to happen we have to go with the flow of our last plan i've got i've got a relative who's um

00:40:53.420 in a situation where she's not she's reached an age now where like she's stressing about marriage

00:40:58.300 parents telling her you know you need to get married you're you're getting older now this and that

00:41:02.060 and it stresses her out of course but her mentality is she's just got faith that's it it'll come it'll

00:41:07.500 come when it comes you can't rush into it whenever you go looking for something you never really find

00:41:10.780 it i mean like whenever it always happens like if i'm leaving the house i'm looking for my car keys i

00:41:15.980 know it's a silly example but i'm looking for my car keys i never find it but whenever i'm not looking

00:41:20.060 for my car keys i always come across it i always see it in the house whenever you're looking for

00:41:23.900 something it can never be seen it's really annoying going back to what you were saying about

00:41:27.980 discipline discipline and lack of discipline are both painful only the painful lack of discipline

00:41:32.460 comes after with regret with discipline the pain is now and then and then you'll triumph at the end

00:41:38.300 so that that's a definitely an important point to like leaving the episode is uh you know keep

00:41:46.460 discipline because it's going to benefit you in the future well can i ask you something you know um

00:41:50.780 i don't know if it's from the hadith or the quran where it says um it's only not to get married young

00:41:54.780 right now to because a lot of people use that when they're going on these apps saying you know

00:41:59.740 i want to get married early there's still not to get married young at what point can you apply that

00:42:04.220 not apply that where's the line for that parents also use that when they oh all the time grandchildren

00:42:10.140 this and that as well and to be honest i i don't know if it's a hadith i can't remember maybe because

00:42:15.260 of course he got married at 25 uh if i'm not mistaken so of course you should but then as long as you

00:42:21.820 need to understand when it comes to finding the one bro uh i say to people a lot of people that

00:42:26.060 you know finding the one it's it's it's all right it sounds i know it sounds cliche and it's okay you

00:42:30.700 know okay but it's the truth but we're like we're like when you when you it is it is the bitter truth

00:42:35.740 you know but the thing is when you find allah you need to understand we know when you have the lines

00:42:39.580 of allah you learn this you know allah like if you look into this world here everything leaves you

00:42:44.700 everything your mom to your dad to the people and you know what it is as if allah's teaching us a lesson

00:42:49.980 oh that husband you loved he's gone now that wife that was never going to leave you she's gone

00:42:54.220 your kids are going to get married they're going to go your parents if they came to my mom and dad and

00:42:58.540 your mom and dad and said he's dead would you have to go in this place there they might stop praying

00:43:03.340 and be like don't love him that much and allah told us in the quran about the akhira that that day

00:43:08.860 nobody's going to know no one allah is basically trying to tell us the only one that you have is allah

00:43:15.500 yeah from this dunya to the moment you die the moment you enter the grave the moment you're

00:43:21.020 resurrected the moment you're questioned all the way when you cross the sarah there is no body but

00:43:26.780 allah and when you incorporate that in your life like allah says in the quran if you forget my

00:43:30.940 remembrance you'll have a depressed life and if you um if in in my remembrance do hearts find peace when

00:43:37.100 you rely on allah there's this sweetness allah gives you where you bro you don't find it in a

00:43:42.940 marriage but what happens is you're so content with allah that when you are married it just adds

00:43:48.860 to it but if it's not there it's not that deep but we've given that love to allah to the individual

00:43:54.780 so when you give it to the individual and your heart and love is connected to that guess what when

00:43:59.260 they go your love goes with it so the key here is again it goes back to putting allah first and then

00:44:06.140 you will realize that subhanallah if we knew allah if allah if we knew the things allah protects us

00:44:13.180 from you know when we follow islam and we're strict like you know i'm going to speak to the father or

00:44:16.700 if he doesn't speak to my father i don't know nothing about it if you knew the hype of what allah's

00:44:21.500 protecting you from you will be in tears you will see what a majestic world that i have that he's given

00:44:27.900 me all these stipulations and protocols to protect my heart and to protect me but we don't see it and

00:44:36.220 because we don't see the effects of it we don't have trust in it so to me like in a nutshell i just

00:44:41.340 believe allah all boils down to obedience to allah and they'll be successful i was gonna say like

00:44:49.900 it's okay we're gonna come remember it sister halima it's okay remember let us know because it

00:44:54.540 happens if that happened to mike remember what mike was like and it happens it happens to everybody

00:44:59.660 okay yeah yeah yeah good there you go that's why that's why when you say you forget i just changed

00:45:03.980 the topic so it just gives you more time yeah go sister yeah i was gonna say maybe just maybe you're

00:45:09.420 not finding the one because allah wants you to build that connection maybe allah is you know holding

00:45:17.180 that because it's a risk it's a formal risk maybe allah is holding that risk back so you know you know you

00:45:24.140 can build you can attach your heart to him first and then when you're ready then allah will give you

00:45:31.740 that person yeah it's all about being ready yeah yeah 100 when you're ready i mean when allah is ready

00:45:38.940 to give you a spouse he will and allah knows when you're ready you might when you might think like

00:45:44.060 you know it uh i genuinely believe that let's say you come to a point where you have built that that um

00:45:50.380 that that tawakkale in allah and that relationship with allah and you're like i'm so content i'm so

00:45:55.660 happy i don't even think about marriage that's where yeah someone will come in your life exactly

00:46:01.100 i've got an interesting story yeah now i'll tell it i'll try not to cry because the first time i

00:46:05.020 told it i cried about trusting allah yeah so listen to listen to this now you can choose to believe me or

00:46:12.140 not there but when you i'll have even one thank you listen cool this is like maybe three months ago

00:46:20.220 i was working and i was dead broke like nothing in the account no cash nothing the only the only cash

00:46:27.580 i had was a five pound note um given to me uh by a tip from a from a woman from where i was working

00:46:35.180 i had gone to a turkish restaurant and they give me like baklava and that for free because i go there all

00:46:40.860 the time i went in there and i gave them as a tip my last five pound note that i was dead broke i

00:46:47.180 literally had nothing so i gave them i gave the the waitress a tip after that i had gone to work a few

00:46:54.220 days later i had i had done the same act for another woman by taking the tray of glass to her box from

00:47:01.260 where i was working and she had given me another five pound tip i swear to god i opened my wallet i've

00:47:08.220 gone to put the five pound that this woman had not given me i'm broke back or nothing i gave my

00:47:12.540 last five pounds to the woman that's giving me club i put the five pound in my wallet and there was

00:47:16.700 another five pound up now the same five pound note that i gave to the waitress as a tip for the

00:47:21.340 baklava she gave me wallahi i swear to god i swear to god i swear to god it's the it's the

00:47:28.540 it's the when when stuff like that happens to you it's one of those things that reinforces your

00:47:34.940 faith you know what i mean bro it was mad so that does that because yusuf alayhi salam sorry allah

00:47:41.020 says to him and if he was not to see in our favors he may have inclined to it you know these things

00:47:45.820 you know when you ask allah in christian tawakul allah comes to you allah's in situations

00:47:52.380 where one situation was so peak yeah like i don't want to get into details pee bro yeah bro

00:47:58.780 allah got me out and and you know how i feel and this isn't this is the best of examples for allah i'm

00:48:03.740 just giving some kind of analogy imagine you get into a fight yeah and every time you get into a fight

00:48:08.780 mike just turns up around the corner yeah imagine you get into these fights now the next fight you're

00:48:13.500 going to have what's going to be in the back of your head mike is about to come around here

00:48:18.700 that is how allah works when allah tells yusuf alayhi salam if he was not to see our signs he may

00:48:23.420 have inclined to it meaning that allah makes you he gives you this feeling where you know that he's

00:48:29.420 got your back and when you're in this situation and you can't get out that's what allah says if you

00:48:33.180 fear me i will give you a way out from peace you can't imagine so allah makes you feel and makes

00:48:39.500 you realize that every time he helps you like this can't be a coincidence literally allah has my back

00:48:43.980 and then you have tawakul allah increases your tawakul slowly and that's slowly like that when

00:48:48.060 it comes to a point that when a woman like you know one of the people under the shade of allah

00:48:51.980 is a man who is seduced by a beautiful woman of stature and he says i fear my lord but you know how

00:48:57.180 hard that is for a man like i've envisioned yeah like in my head i was like look like i would love

00:49:01.900 to be under the shade of allah yeah like but i was thinking to myself like imagine i'm in a situation

00:49:06.620 you know and and as and as believers we should have this like the to the urge to want to please allah to

00:49:12.380 the maximum you get it and for us men our biggest weakness weakness is a woman so in my head i was

00:49:15.980 like if i was in a room i woke up and there was a very beautiful woman and in my head i was like

00:49:21.500 it's a split second decision because you're gonna be like you're a man in it

00:49:24.540 in my head and i'm not asking anyone to do this but it's just like you're just moving in my head

00:49:27.500 in my head i was thinking i have to do something very crazy instantly i don't know why this came to

00:49:31.660 mind but i was like i would i would maybe have to just punch it in the face i'm not asking i'm not i'm not

00:49:36.860 i'm not i'm not i'm not i'm not asking i'm not i'm not asking anyone to punch in the face

00:49:40.060 careful all right i was just thinking in my face here in my head if she was trying to because it

00:49:43.740 has to be a split second you can't be thinking because shaitan's gonna come do you get it shaitan's

00:49:47.100 gonna come in my head i was like i have to do something no no no no bro no no i was i was like

00:49:51.980 i was like right now i was like nah i need to be under the shade of allah i was like what's the most

00:49:56.460 to save myself i was like i do something crazy do anything yeah but i have to do something mad and you

00:50:01.660 know what's interesting there's a story of a man yeah this is like in the image i think it's it's a

00:50:07.500 true story yeah so this man was seduced by a woman and you know what he did look look this

00:50:12.780 what i'm telling you well like if you put allah first this might sound crazy yeah you think mine

00:50:17.340 is crazy you know what he done this woman said if you don't sleep with me i'm going to scream that

00:50:22.380 you're raping me do you know what he did he said okay give me a woman to go get go get ready he went

00:50:27.100 to the toilet you know what he did definitely just came through the window no no no no no no you know

00:50:32.140 definitely he defecated oh and he put that all over his body and went listen to me listen to me

00:50:36.780 listen to me listen yes yes yes no no no no no he put it he put look what he did is in a nutshell

00:50:43.820 he used some kind of you know impurity on himself and he went and the woman screamed and ran away

00:50:50.540 it might sound crazy maybe some people don't have that i don't know where it happened this is a true

00:50:55.020 story and it was said that they said that after this time they would say that we smell nothing but

00:51:00.780 musk of this guy now for some people he might be like yeah whatever i have full and trust that

00:51:05.740 when a person puts allah first wallahi allah will honor him in certain ways he could have easily come

00:51:11.500 and say oh but allah he thought she forced me and i just had to do the deal yeah that's not that bad

00:51:15.900 bro which one was about me punching the face or this one is the brother in question you by any chance

00:51:23.420 sister uh

00:51:25.500 sister halima so you said about for example your friend was on this marriage app here for about

00:51:29.580 10 minutes 5-10 minutes um would you are you considering on like exploring that idea so i

00:51:35.980 i have and i did get on with someone and he was lovely but can i be honest you can be honest as

00:51:45.260 long as you're not exposing any sense

00:51:46.540 he has he wasn't leading i was the leader oh my god and i don't like that would you oh oh what do

00:51:56.700 you mean by that like so my father whenever i have yeah like if if if i say taking lead that's day off

00:52:02.860 and um we want to do something i don't need to plan anything i'm the princess i'm yeah

00:52:08.700 mashallah in the car my father he's like we're gonna do this and we're gonna do that i'm like

00:52:15.820 yeah you know this is awesome with him it's like i have to talk to him like i told him look i'm into

00:52:22.700 these things but don't ask me i'm in the size every month i go through this phase just pick something

00:52:29.660 a lot of women are like that like like like it's like allah i would rather have take the real because

00:52:36.780 i don't want to take that's in your this is this is your feminine nature yeah you want a man you want

00:52:41.980 a man this is what i'm saying men are women these days they're they're it's disgusting i listen i think

00:52:46.780 this guy is amazing but he's there's a lot of passive muslim men and it is a problem no no of course not

00:52:52.620 it's just he did he but this is you know this is the interesting point because at the end of the day

00:52:57.420 like your your your father has treated you like a princess and you want the next man to treat you

00:53:01.340 like that in in what sense though yeah the thing is you want someone that's going to lead you yeah

00:53:07.340 decide what the plan is no of course no plan today this is what we're doing no exactly even pay for

00:53:11.580 no you should pay for you sister why shouldn't pay for you yeah as well like if i'm doing something

00:53:15.740 wrong if i say something wrong my dad correct me yeah yeah there's there's a lot of there's a lot

00:53:20.460 of muslim men you know you know can i can i can i say something do you can i can i say something to

00:53:26.140 all the sisters in the building here yeah do you agree that as women you you guys would look for

00:53:29.900 that being corrected this might sound a bit mad this might sound a bit mad yeah no one said one

00:53:34.380 second just this might sound a bit controversial yeah being put in your place but no i don't mean

00:53:39.180 in a way no no respectfully no no no no yeah that's what it is look look look look for example let me

00:53:44.460 give us an honor here because the thing is here we need to be a bit real yeah for example if if a man

00:53:49.180 sees his wife wearing lipstick and he tells her like you know can you take that off please like i don't

00:53:53.980 appreciate it yeah and if she says no i'm going out like you're not going out take that off if your

00:53:59.260 husband said that to you can you just tell me how would you um feel i would tell him why are you

00:54:03.980 telling me that he tell me because i didn't want the guys to look at you yeah so i'd say okay cool

00:54:10.060 i'll take it off that's good you're reasonable because he's gave me a reason there's been a

00:54:14.860 conversation what if what okay that's true true but if he if you don't understand it and like look it's just

00:54:19.020 for me but he says i wouldn't do that no i know you wouldn't but if a woman was to do that and the

00:54:24.220 husband said you're we're not going out until you take that off um as as a woman for me i would take

00:54:31.820 it off because um because there's a thing called ghira and i understand like i might not understand

00:54:39.180 his entire thought process as to why he's asking me um to take my lipstick off but like i have sisters

00:54:45.980 so i i'm very protective over them like if i if it was up to me i'd like hold the cup of my

00:54:50.940 sisters because i like because there was a sheikh he said if you knew what was going on in the minds

00:54:58.780 of like men men know men best that's the main thing you walk around in a tent exactly so if my husband

00:55:07.180 was to tell me that like i would i would like respect like what he's telling me because i understand

00:55:12.140 it's not coming from a place of insecurity yeah yeah even if it is even if it is insecurity it's

00:55:18.940 fine it's a man it's a man's choice you can't be oh it's not bro this is no but it's okay to have

00:55:23.260 insecurity as a man if i don't want my woman going out another man staring at her no no but why are you

00:55:28.860 insecure for that bro this is this ridiculous the non-muslim it's the western it's the western

00:55:32.300 standard it's the western standard level like yeah go get your wife sit on another man's lap

00:55:36.620 because i'm not insecure you're filth yeah you are filth this is this is how yeah it is this is the

00:55:41.020 reason why the western men need to passport bros bro they've traveled into different countries

00:55:45.900 they've given up on the western woman bro get out of here man i'm insecure for telling you not to

00:55:50.220 dress up in a miniskirt but men jealousy should be encouraged to a certain extent you know i mean

00:55:54.060 you know like western women may not tell you but like if a man you know is if he's not like i guess

00:56:00.620 um protecting you in that way um but like from other men's gaze there's always going to be like a form of

00:56:08.060 resentment within that woman's heart she might not boom she might not recognize it yeah it shows

00:56:13.020 through her thank you she she'll start disrespecting him as a man yeah you're supposed to be doing your

00:56:18.540 job thank you in terms of not just physical protection you know how my heart thank you my

00:56:24.060 emotions everything yeah exactly you're under the when you go it's your father who looks after you when

00:56:30.940 you get married or you go into a relationship you are now given to the man and as a man you have that

00:56:35.980 responsibility yeah yeah the duty to your place by allah so so yeah let's say devil's advocate then

00:56:41.580 women a lot of women will say you know my body my choice sort of thing i don't want to wear the

00:56:45.020 hijab out of here brother brother i'm saying i'm getting attacked right now you have to detach from

00:56:50.700 that materialistic thing that's your yeah you'd be surprised in birmingham it's very it's very common

00:56:57.660 for like um women's like uh man like they wear what they want and a man will like that other men are

00:57:04.380 staring at their women i don't know if i explain myself properly you've got that youth in it that

00:57:08.220 youth it's so common in lounges and stuff you'd be surprised in it like you're literally as a man

00:57:14.380 you know what's going through that on the man's mind and you're you're okay with that yeah you should

00:57:18.700 not yeah there's there's men out there that enjoy showing their women about the way i think the way

00:57:23.420 things are going nice a little bit sad because like there was a i saw a video of a christian wedding

00:57:28.060 and uh the dad is walking the daughter down the aisle and has passed off her daughter his daughter

00:57:33.500 to the the groom and um he's got he said to the groom please like if it doesn't work out just give

00:57:38.780 you give my daughter back yeah he's crying and he's crying he's very upset and all the comments were

00:57:43.420 saying it's not oh that's beautiful is oh what do you mean give yeah he belongs she belongs to like

00:57:47.900 she belongs to yeah man yeah like they don't they don't see that they don't see the the beauty and

00:57:53.660 they just see like oh what do you think a woman you think she belongs to you yeah what you're saying

00:57:58.300 she's your daughter of course yeah like but people aren't ready to accept the man takes care of the

00:58:02.940 household yeah the man dies if the father dies who does it go to the brothers or the uncle it

00:58:08.620 doesn't go to the woman yeah like a woman is there to just be a princess and a queen well she has to

00:58:13.820 fulfill her obligations as well obviously next generation to give birth to the next generation yeah

00:58:20.060 yeah yeah exactly she's part of the family unit but she should be treated like a queen as well

00:58:24.380 isn't it like yeah we need to wrap up okay guys so basically you heard it um it's up to you but

00:58:29.020 like to us inshallah and when it comes to this stuff the apps can work but we believe that the dangers

00:58:32.940 are greater we've had people who have that experience please tell us your thoughts inshallah till

00:58:37.100 next time assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh the prophet said whoever builds a

00:58:43.100 masjid for the sake of allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allah will build for him a similar house in jannah

00:58:49.020 on that day where allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tells us that our books will be given and every little

00:58:54.220 atom weight of good deed you've done will be there and imagine you see a mountain and you're like what

00:58:59.660 a lucky person which righteous person allah says this is for you for me yes what did i do you allow

00:59:07.900 people to pray you built a masjid i never had the money to build a masjid oh allah you helped you gave

00:59:13.420 towards it and allah gives you the reward of as if you've built it donate now guys and do not delay

00:59:18.700 and share the video for extra rewards

Ali Dawah - January 05, 2024

GOOD, BAD & UGLY OF MUSLIM DATING APPS - EP 20 ｜｜ BITTER TRUTH SHOW

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