Ali Dawah - HOW ISTIKHARA IN MARRIAGE IS MISUNDERSTOOD

00:00:00.000 Guys, I don't recommend breaking your fast alone.

00:00:02.600 Iftar is meant to be spent with family and friends, man.

00:00:05.160 I can see there's pain there.

00:00:06.720 And I believe there's probably pain in the sister side as well.

00:00:08.680 Now,

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00:00:26.340 As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, brothers and sisters and dear friends.

00:00:29.840 i'm here in mecca in the last 10 nights we are going to enter the 29th night there was a video

00:00:35.540 that was circulating subhanallah that i came to saw came to see of a brother called ish a brother

00:00:41.080 ish is somebody i've done a video after two three years ago about him working in tesco and that kind

00:00:45.360 of stuff i just gave him an assia to the brother there's nothing wrong with people working in

00:00:48.880 tesco as long as they have that income and i said it because obviously i don't want people to have

00:00:52.440 this perception that you need to live a luxuries life which is there's nothing wrong with that

00:00:55.820 but to belittle people

00:00:57.780 now that I've seen

00:00:58.420 he did it intentionally

00:00:59.220 that was my video about

00:01:00.240 anyways

00:01:00.540 let's move away from that

00:01:01.700 let's talk about

00:01:02.840 his divorce

00:01:03.600 now

00:01:04.080 why do I do these videos

00:01:05.360 a lot of people think

00:01:06.080 I just scroll

00:01:07.260 and I'm like

00:01:07.620 you know what

00:01:08.020 I'm bored

00:01:08.900 let me just do videos

00:01:09.660 I genuinely look at

00:01:11.060 situations and see

00:01:12.380 if somebody's going through something

00:01:13.840 or someone's calling to fitna

00:01:15.060 then we need to

00:01:16.120 call out against

00:01:17.020 like Allah says

00:01:17.620 let there rise among you

00:01:18.520 a group of people

00:01:19.200 people who enjoy

00:01:20.420 going to forbid evil

00:01:21.100 okay

00:01:21.680 and that is a duty

00:01:22.920 a duty that makes us

00:01:24.380 distinct from previous nations

00:01:25.640 which destroyed other nations because they would not do that so brother ish there's two years with

00:01:29.500 the watch of his divorce he's had a divorce that's obviously sad to hear because at the end of the

00:01:33.420 day i've done a video three four months ago about individuals who are promoting divorce you know

00:01:37.840 taking a baby and leave and all this kind of stuff and i was very staunchly against it and i stand by

00:01:42.960 it and i have no regrets my family members were dragged into it my kids my wife you name it

00:01:47.360 alhamdulillah no problem at all the haq we speak the truth even if they come and harm us so brothers

00:01:52.740 sisters the point is this i want to watch these videos and tell and give brother ish a nasia

00:01:57.060 because i'm 36 years old and he's a young brother and i want to give him and not only him for those

00:02:03.140 of our sisters and brothers who are also going through divorce to give some nasia with some

00:02:07.780 little experience that i have and my elders that have given advice to me so i'm gonna inshallah

00:02:13.220 first watch the video and then we're gonna come and see inshallah what advice we can give our

00:02:17.060 brother ish here is the first video of him announcing his divorce and a lot of people

00:02:20.740 thought he was talking about his barber because it's cutting to say he divorced his barber as a

00:02:23.700 joke but here it is let's watch it for ourselves

00:02:50.740 okay so the first video is as you can see him to shave his head um again you can make a little

00:02:58.660 assessment out of this uh he might be that he's upset about the situation he might be that he's

00:03:02.540 random and of course he's going to be upset nobody could deny that going through divorce

00:03:05.440 is going to be something you're happy unless you was married to an absolute tyrant which we can't

00:03:10.220 make claims about that about your wife because we know nothing about your situation and this is why

00:03:14.120 it's very important guys not to judge the assumptions because a lot of the times if that

00:03:17.720 what's a woman doing and this is why nifakis we talk about nifakis and these you know and what's

00:03:21.980 a nifakis this hijabi there's a niqabi and this nifakis these individuals who hold deep nifak

00:03:26.060 subhanallah they hide it and they try to they deny the hadiths they now deny in hijab subhanallah

00:03:31.460 if it was a woman who came out and done this you know what the conversation will be with a lot of

00:03:36.220 women you deserve better you do this you probably deserved it blah blah blah blah we as men we

00:03:42.480 don't do that i'm not going to come here and make it seem as if he's a victim and she's no i'm so

00:03:46.860 sorry i know nothing about it but for anything you may be wrong she may be wrong i don't know

00:03:51.160 i'm not here to talk about who is wrong i need to give genuine advice to brother ish and his wife

00:03:55.420 if he's watching this and for those who are going through divorce or getting divorced so now here's

00:03:59.780 a video of him he's in mecca if i'm not mistaken habibi if you're here off cameras i would love

00:04:04.980 to speak to you if there's any support i can give you you don't need my support i'm here i'm here

00:04:08.500 with my sheikh as well inshallah if you would like to talk to us any advice you're going through

00:04:11.780 something we're here for you as your brothers here's another video inshallah let's watch it

00:04:15.960 sometimes life moves way faster than you expect before dropping a divorce video i told myself i

00:04:21.440 am booking my flight to medina because that is the only way i'm going to be able to block out

00:04:25.100 your stupid opinion i booked five hours before takeoff and here i was saying salam to the

00:04:29.900 prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam anything could be happening in your life but when you're here

00:04:33.880 all you feel is peace this was my final day in medina hopefully not my final salam and i was

00:04:39.040 off to the airport i've been raising money for the gaza children that have managed to cross the

00:04:43.260 border into egypt this ramadan and i'm going to now see them finally it was iftar time so i just

00:04:48.800 went to the first burger spot i saw i'm not gonna lie guys i don't recommend breaking your fast

00:04:52.900 alone iftar is meant to be spent with family and friends man also i definitely recommend traveling

00:04:57.360 in a fold it's actually so comfy the prophet said look at those who are below you and not above

00:05:01.680 for that is more likely to prevent you from belittling the blessings that allah has put

00:05:05.340 upon you so the next stop the children of ghaza in egypt okay so from that video i can see obviously

00:05:12.100 The fact that he mentions

00:05:13.260 Do not break your fast alone

00:05:16.800 I can see there's pain there

00:05:18.760 And I believe there's probably pain

00:05:19.940 In the sister side as well

00:05:20.720 Now, Islamically, I don't know

00:05:22.200 If you've given the free talaqs

00:05:23.320 I follow the opinion of Ibn Taymiyyah

00:05:25.200 That if you give 500 talaqs in one moment

00:05:28.520 It counts as one talaq

00:05:29.520 However, if you hold an opinion that

00:05:31.740 Well, it's something else

00:05:32.900 You stick by that, Habibi

00:05:33.700 I can't do nothing about that

00:05:34.680 You go to scholars and get fatah for that

00:05:36.360 What I can see is this though

00:05:38.360 And I'm talking to both of you guys

00:05:39.320 We asked Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:05:40.260 I'm in the Holy Land

00:05:40.860 I make sincere dua, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala if there's khair in both of you

00:05:44.780 may Allah reunite you guys if the free taraqs haven't taken place

00:05:49.140 and the opinion that you follow, I'll leave that to that

00:05:51.120 if that's not the situation, I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in these holy lands

00:05:54.220 to reunite you guys and make this a fair work if there's khair in it

00:05:58.140 now, I want to come to the cross of the matter

00:06:00.120 a lot of the times, people come to me and say

00:06:02.320 brother, sisters come to me, brothers come to you

00:06:04.540 listen, Aki, I've done istikhara, why did I get divorced?

00:06:08.240 and I'm like okay

00:06:10.060 I was like what's the confusion here

00:06:11.820 and they get confused

00:06:12.940 they're like what do you mean

00:06:13.520 I've done istikhara

00:06:14.480 istikhara was what

00:06:15.140 if that person is good for me

00:06:16.660 that you know

00:06:17.820 that Allah let it be

00:06:18.940 and then we get married

00:06:19.900 and things are happily ever after

00:06:21.140 and I'm like subhanallah

00:06:22.300 I don't think you've understood

00:06:23.200 what istikhara is

00:06:24.080 now subhanallah

00:06:25.140 there is many verses

00:06:26.640 we can talk about

00:06:27.560 but let's

00:06:28.020 I'm going to come to about

00:06:29.460 you know living in peace

00:06:30.340 and harmony together

00:06:30.880 however

00:06:31.800 divorce is the haq

00:06:33.880 and I've always said this

00:06:34.700 when I'm talking about

00:06:35.520 that individual

00:06:36.600 this individual

00:06:37.480 these nefakis

00:06:38.100 who were calling for divorce etc not a single place i said divorce is haram you should not

00:06:43.420 divorce it's disliked and allah taught us in the quran the severity of divorce and now shaitan in

00:06:47.800 his throne gets happy when one of his little minions come and say of course divorce he comes

00:06:52.520 and says sit in my seat or come close to me and also when the hadith of the prophet said a thing

00:06:57.600 that is hate something that's halal that's hated and disliked but allah is divorce so the point is

00:07:02.180 this brothers and sisters istiqarah is what we need to istiqarah what do you say i know i've done

00:07:05.940 before I got married if this person and istikharah is not for marriage guys the sahaba would do istikharah to pick clothes

00:07:11.760 this is the relation they had with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala istikharah is what you are saying oh Allah

00:07:17.640 if this person is good for me in this life in the hereafter let it happen if it's not move me away

00:07:26.320 from them and move them away from me okay because you might be harmful for them this is not like

00:07:30.920 you're an angel and you're like oh no no it might be that you're bad for them the point here is what

00:07:35.100 and the key here is what guys let me put it into perspective if you say and I'll give you a very

00:07:39.280 fine example of a brother that I know very closely who got divorced who has a child when he went

00:07:45.160 through this he said Habibi Istakhanah means what if it's good for your deen this dunya and the

00:07:50.980 hereafter how could a divorce not be good for you maybe that was the best thing let me tell you how

00:07:55.940 and that's why this smear campaign lies against me about I'm against divorce it's absolute lies

00:08:00.620 you know why because I've always been giving this advice he said and I've told him I said Habibi

00:08:04.060 When he came to me

00:08:04.700 He said the same thing

00:08:05.860 Bro, I got divorced

00:08:07.120 I said, watch

00:08:08.040 I said, bro

00:08:08.940 Before this was you not struggling

00:08:10.160 It was peak out there

00:08:12.100 Yeah

00:08:12.320 It was peak out there as a man

00:08:13.920 Okay

00:08:14.420 Habibi

00:08:15.160 You fulfilled your desires

00:08:16.460 In a halal way

00:08:17.300 And like the Prophet

00:08:18.220 Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam

00:08:18.400 Told the Sahaba

00:08:19.040 You get rewarded

00:08:20.740 Sadaqah

00:08:21.300 When you're having intimacy

00:08:22.100 With your wife

00:08:22.660 He said, oh, Meshaw of Allah

00:08:23.700 Reward?

00:08:25.080 He said, yes

00:08:25.460 And he said, how?

00:08:26.600 He said, do you not get a sin

00:08:27.900 When you commit zina?

00:08:28.660 He said, yes

00:08:29.060 Well, then you get rewarded

00:08:30.180 When you are having intimacy

00:08:31.600 With your wife

00:08:32.140 Number one

00:08:33.140 you protect yourself from zina halal, Allah gave you a wife to have intimacy with in a halal way

00:08:37.940 number two do you not have a daughter now? I said to him he goes yes

00:08:42.100 I said Habibi would you ever do you ever regret this? He goes Wallahi she put me through hell

00:08:48.480 whatever but I will go and marry again for that woman for my daughter I said look you got a

00:08:52.780 beautiful daughter number three which is critically important to you my brother Ish and your wife

00:08:57.900 you're watching this and anyone that's going through divorce I know many situations that an

00:09:02.480 individual who went through one divorce and that divorce caused him to save his

00:09:06.360 second his marriage again how third thing that I told that brother was what do you

00:09:11.560 learn did you learn things from your this marriage that broke down yes okay

00:09:14.200 you're telling me that it was her fault no problem let's go with the argument

00:09:17.480 because I know the ins and outs a bit I can come and say okay maybe she was to

00:09:20.860 blame it to certain aspects okay but he was an angel also did you learn lessons

00:09:26.000 yes do you accept that you also made certain mistakes yes even though it might

00:09:29.480 not be the reason he went for divorce okay now do you agree that the mistakes you made here you're

00:09:33.760 not going to carry it to your next marriage he goes yes do you now know that because she put you

00:09:37.420 through hell you are going to appreciate your next wife even more he goes yes i said then habibi

00:09:41.940 your istikhara got answered beautifully bro protected you from zina beautiful daughter and

00:09:47.120 on top of that you learn lessons that you will not ruin your marriage and guess what the brother is

00:09:51.260 now married happily and he says wallahi what i went through made me appreciate this wife for if

00:09:57.700 i did not go through that i would have destroyed this marriage do you see so when you look at

00:10:02.580 istaqarah don't look at istaqarah or something like oh that istaqarah that means my marriage is

00:10:06.660 going to be successful it might be that istaqarah that marriage you're going through is preparing

00:10:11.140 you for your ultimate marriage so my advice to brother ish and his ex-wife if the free

00:10:17.300 ta'raqs haven't happened i ask in this holy land allah subhanahu wa ta'ala reunite you guys believe

00:10:21.300 me there's a lot of evil evil people out there specifically this nefaki woman sadly we're seeing

00:10:26.340 that want divorce they misery loves company they want more people to get divorce break break brother

00:10:31.700 they were calling for me and my wife to get the divorce bro they were literally saying you know

00:10:36.420 causing fitna subhanallah and when allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protects the thing you have relation

00:10:41.380 with allah no one if the dunya came or the nifakas came together it would not harm so my advice is

00:10:47.060 that to you my brothers and sisters who are going through divorce or brother ish and his wife we ask

00:10:52.180 Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala unite you guys if you see there's no khair may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:10:56.180 grant you guys both better inshallah and for those who are going through divorce do not despair

00:11:01.380 this is a trial that happens and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will aid you have a strong relationship

00:11:05.940 with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala pray your salah give the haqq of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala salah

00:11:10.100 zakah calculator zakah fasting okay give the haqq of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala abstain from major

00:11:15.540 sins do your adhkar be close to Allah do istighfar in these moments and you will see Allah would

00:11:21.220 never let their servants with a test that they cannot bear Allah is doing this and if this has

00:11:26.980 caused Ish to come to the Holy Lands to reconnect with his Lord Allah wants that for you and Ibn

00:11:33.220 Al-Qayyim says and it calls from the Salaf that Allah inspires the dua that you make bro Allah

00:11:39.300 sends you to the Holy Lands and makes inspires you in certain situations calamity like you might

00:11:43.940 hate something which is good for you and you might love something which is bad for you Allah

00:11:47.060 subhanahu wa ta'ala and what Allah says in the Quran as well he would never change the condition

00:11:51.180 of people until they change what's within themselves so look internally reflect inshallah

00:11:55.520 for both of you hopefully we hear the good news that you guys are back together and if not Allah

00:11:59.660 has better plans for you guys and whoever's going through a divorce may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:12:02.940 make it easy for you especially our you know subhanahu wa ta'ala single mothers and single

00:12:06.720 fathers as well they both suffer but one thing I will give an advice on this happens as well

00:12:11.940 from the sister's side as well and some deadbeat men as well who do not see their kids after they

00:12:16.400 divorced yes cowardly man i believe this wallah i'm so sorry unless they mean stopped and sisters

00:12:20.960 who use their children against their fathers this both this one this one like i've been

00:12:26.880 both of them are as bad as each other but subhanallah the one that's stopping kinship may allah

00:12:31.440 subhanahu wa ta'ala deal with him that's what i would say inshallah and hope inshallah we'll hear

00:12:34.960 the good news little advice from me to you habibi we are here in mecca if you would like to talk to

00:12:39.600 me off camera inshallah we're here till next time assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

00:12:43.760 May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect our ummah from divorce so that in future generations

00:12:48.000 can stronghold the deen of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and even those who are divorced

00:12:51.440 Allah will take care of them insha'Allah. As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

Ali Dawah - March 18, 2026

HOW ISTIKHARA IN MARRIAGE IS MISUNDERSTOOD

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