Ali Dawah - March 18, 2026


HOW ISTIKHARA IN MARRIAGE IS MISUNDERSTOOD


Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

228.10275

Word count

2,948

Sentence count

12

Harmful content

Misogyny

3

sentences flagged

Toxicity

4

sentences flagged

Hate speech

28

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Jummah Kutbah' alaykum on the topic of divorce in the light of the Sunnah and what we can do to support our brothers and sisters who are going through the process of divorce. In this podcast, we talk about how to support a brother who is going through his divorce and what to do in that situation.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Guys, I don't recommend breaking your fast alone.
00:00:02.600 Iftar is meant to be spent with family and friends, man.
00:00:05.160 I can see there's pain there.
00:00:06.720 And I believe there's probably pain in the sister side as well.
00:00:08.680 Now,
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00:00:26.340 As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, brothers and sisters and dear friends.
00:00:29.840 i'm here in mecca in the last 10 nights we are going to enter the 29th night there was a video
00:00:35.540 that was circulating subhanallah that i came to saw came to see of a brother called ish a brother
00:00:41.080 ish is somebody i've done a video after two three years ago about him working in tesco and that kind
00:00:45.360 of stuff i just gave him an assia to the brother there's nothing wrong with people working in
00:00:48.880 tesco as long as they have that income and i said it because obviously i don't want people to have
00:00:52.440 this perception that you need to live a luxuries life which is there's nothing wrong with that
00:00:55.820 but to belittle people
00:00:57.780 now that I've seen
00:00:58.420 he did it intentionally
00:00:59.220 that was my video about
00:01:00.240 anyways
00:01:00.540 let's move away from that
00:01:01.700 let's talk about
00:01:02.840 his divorce
00:01:03.600 now
00:01:04.080 why do I do these videos
00:01:05.360 a lot of people think
00:01:06.080 I just scroll
00:01:07.260 and I'm like
00:01:07.620 you know what
00:01:08.020 I'm bored
00:01:08.900 let me just do videos
00:01:09.660 I genuinely look at
00:01:11.060 situations and see
00:01:12.380 if somebody's going through something
00:01:13.840 or someone's calling to fitna
00:01:15.060 then we need to
00:01:16.120 call out against
00:01:17.020 like Allah says
00:01:17.620 let there rise among you
00:01:18.520 a group of people
00:01:19.200 people who enjoy
00:01:20.420 going to forbid evil
00:01:21.100 okay
00:01:21.680 and that is a duty
00:01:22.920 a duty that makes us
00:01:24.380 distinct from previous nations
00:01:25.640 which destroyed other nations because they would not do that so brother ish there's two years with
00:01:29.500 the watch of his divorce he's had a divorce that's obviously sad to hear because at the end of the
00:01:33.420 day i've done a video three four months ago about individuals who are promoting divorce you know
00:01:37.840 taking a baby and leave and all this kind of stuff and i was very staunchly against it and i stand by
00:01:42.960 it and i have no regrets my family members were dragged into it my kids my wife you name it
00:01:47.360 alhamdulillah no problem at all the haq we speak the truth even if they come and harm us so brothers
00:01:52.740 sisters the point is this i want to watch these videos and tell and give brother ish a nasia
00:01:57.060 because i'm 36 years old and he's a young brother and i want to give him and not only him for those
00:02:03.140 of our sisters and brothers who are also going through divorce to give some nasia with some
00:02:07.780 little experience that i have and my elders that have given advice to me so i'm gonna inshallah
00:02:13.220 first watch the video and then we're gonna come and see inshallah what advice we can give our
00:02:17.060 brother ish here is the first video of him announcing his divorce and a lot of people
00:02:20.740 thought he was talking about his barber because it's cutting to say he divorced his barber as a
00:02:23.700 joke but here it is let's watch it for ourselves
00:02:50.740 okay so the first video is as you can see him to shave his head um again you can make a little
00:02:58.660 assessment out of this uh he might be that he's upset about the situation he might be that he's
00:03:02.540 random and of course he's going to be upset nobody could deny that going through divorce
00:03:05.440 is going to be something you're happy unless you was married to an absolute tyrant which we can't 1.00
00:03:10.220 make claims about that about your wife because we know nothing about your situation and this is why
00:03:14.120 it's very important guys not to judge the assumptions because a lot of the times if that
00:03:17.720 what's a woman doing and this is why nifakis we talk about nifakis and these you know and what's 0.99
00:03:21.980 a nifakis this hijabi there's a niqabi and this nifakis these individuals who hold deep nifak 1.00
00:03:26.060 subhanallah they hide it and they try to they deny the hadiths they now deny in hijab subhanallah 0.60
00:03:31.460 if it was a woman who came out and done this you know what the conversation will be with a lot of
00:03:36.220 women you deserve better you do this you probably deserved it blah blah blah blah we as men we
00:03:42.480 don't do that i'm not going to come here and make it seem as if he's a victim and she's no i'm so
00:03:46.860 sorry i know nothing about it but for anything you may be wrong she may be wrong i don't know
00:03:51.160 i'm not here to talk about who is wrong i need to give genuine advice to brother ish and his wife
00:03:55.420 if he's watching this and for those who are going through divorce or getting divorced so now here's
00:03:59.780 a video of him he's in mecca if i'm not mistaken habibi if you're here off cameras i would love
00:04:04.980 to speak to you if there's any support i can give you you don't need my support i'm here i'm here
00:04:08.500 with my sheikh as well inshallah if you would like to talk to us any advice you're going through
00:04:11.780 something we're here for you as your brothers here's another video inshallah let's watch it
00:04:15.960 sometimes life moves way faster than you expect before dropping a divorce video i told myself i
00:04:21.440 am booking my flight to medina because that is the only way i'm going to be able to block out 0.99
00:04:25.100 your stupid opinion i booked five hours before takeoff and here i was saying salam to the 0.98
00:04:29.900 prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam anything could be happening in your life but when you're here 1.00
00:04:33.880 all you feel is peace this was my final day in medina hopefully not my final salam and i was
00:04:39.040 off to the airport i've been raising money for the gaza children that have managed to cross the 1.00
00:04:43.260 border into egypt this ramadan and i'm going to now see them finally it was iftar time so i just
00:04:48.800 went to the first burger spot i saw i'm not gonna lie guys i don't recommend breaking your fast
00:04:52.900 alone iftar is meant to be spent with family and friends man also i definitely recommend traveling
00:04:57.360 in a fold it's actually so comfy the prophet said look at those who are below you and not above
00:05:01.680 for that is more likely to prevent you from belittling the blessings that allah has put
00:05:05.340 upon you so the next stop the children of ghaza in egypt okay so from that video i can see obviously
00:05:12.100 The fact that he mentions
00:05:13.260 Do not break your fast alone
00:05:16.800 I can see there's pain there
00:05:18.760 And I believe there's probably pain
00:05:19.940 In the sister side as well
00:05:20.720 Now, Islamically, I don't know
00:05:22.200 If you've given the free talaqs
00:05:23.320 I follow the opinion of Ibn Taymiyyah
00:05:25.200 That if you give 500 talaqs in one moment
00:05:28.520 It counts as one talaq 0.97
00:05:29.520 However, if you hold an opinion that
00:05:31.740 Well, it's something else
00:05:32.900 You stick by that, Habibi 1.00
00:05:33.700 I can't do nothing about that
00:05:34.680 You go to scholars and get fatah for that
00:05:36.360 What I can see is this though
00:05:38.360 And I'm talking to both of you guys
00:05:39.320 We asked Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 0.97
00:05:40.260 I'm in the Holy Land
00:05:40.860 I make sincere dua, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala if there's khair in both of you 1.00
00:05:44.780 may Allah reunite you guys if the free taraqs haven't taken place 0.99
00:05:49.140 and the opinion that you follow, I'll leave that to that
00:05:51.120 if that's not the situation, I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in these holy lands
00:05:54.220 to reunite you guys and make this a fair work if there's khair in it 1.00
00:05:58.140 now, I want to come to the cross of the matter
00:06:00.120 a lot of the times, people come to me and say
00:06:02.320 brother, sisters come to me, brothers come to you
00:06:04.540 listen, Aki, I've done istikhara, why did I get divorced?
00:06:08.240 and I'm like okay
00:06:10.060 I was like what's the confusion here
00:06:11.820 and they get confused
00:06:12.940 they're like what do you mean
00:06:13.520 I've done istikhara 0.87
00:06:14.480 istikhara was what
00:06:15.140 if that person is good for me
00:06:16.660 that you know
00:06:17.820 that Allah let it be
00:06:18.940 and then we get married
00:06:19.900 and things are happily ever after
00:06:21.140 and I'm like subhanallah
00:06:22.300 I don't think you've understood
00:06:23.200 what istikhara is
00:06:24.080 now subhanallah
00:06:25.140 there is many verses
00:06:26.640 we can talk about
00:06:27.560 but let's
00:06:28.020 I'm going to come to about
00:06:29.460 you know living in peace
00:06:30.340 and harmony together
00:06:30.880 however
00:06:31.800 divorce is the haq 0.98
00:06:33.880 and I've always said this
00:06:34.700 when I'm talking about
00:06:35.520 that individual
00:06:36.600 this individual
00:06:37.480 these nefakis 1.00
00:06:38.100 who were calling for divorce etc not a single place i said divorce is haram you should not
00:06:43.420 divorce it's disliked and allah taught us in the quran the severity of divorce and now shaitan in
00:06:47.800 his throne gets happy when one of his little minions come and say of course divorce he comes
00:06:52.520 and says sit in my seat or come close to me and also when the hadith of the prophet said a thing
00:06:57.600 that is hate something that's halal that's hated and disliked but allah is divorce so the point is
00:07:02.180 this brothers and sisters istiqarah is what we need to istiqarah what do you say i know i've done
00:07:05.940 before I got married if this person and istikharah is not for marriage guys the sahaba would do istikharah to pick clothes 0.96
00:07:11.760 this is the relation they had with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala istikharah is what you are saying oh Allah
00:07:17.640 if this person is good for me in this life in the hereafter let it happen if it's not move me away
00:07:26.320 from them and move them away from me okay because you might be harmful for them this is not like
00:07:30.920 you're an angel and you're like oh no no it might be that you're bad for them the point here is what
00:07:35.100 and the key here is what guys let me put it into perspective if you say and I'll give you a very
00:07:39.280 fine example of a brother that I know very closely who got divorced who has a child when he went
00:07:45.160 through this he said Habibi Istakhanah means what if it's good for your deen this dunya and the
00:07:50.980 hereafter how could a divorce not be good for you maybe that was the best thing let me tell you how
00:07:55.940 and that's why this smear campaign lies against me about I'm against divorce it's absolute lies
00:08:00.620 you know why because I've always been giving this advice he said and I've told him I said Habibi 0.99
00:08:04.060 When he came to me
00:08:04.700 He said the same thing
00:08:05.860 Bro, I got divorced
00:08:07.120 I said, watch
00:08:08.040 I said, bro
00:08:08.940 Before this was you not struggling
00:08:10.160 It was peak out there
00:08:12.100 Yeah
00:08:12.320 It was peak out there as a man
00:08:13.920 Okay
00:08:14.420 Habibi 0.99
00:08:15.160 You fulfilled your desires
00:08:16.460 In a halal way 0.95
00:08:17.300 And like the Prophet
00:08:18.220 Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam
00:08:18.400 Told the Sahaba 0.64
00:08:19.040 You get rewarded
00:08:20.740 Sadaqah
00:08:21.300 When you're having intimacy
00:08:22.100 With your wife
00:08:22.660 He said, oh, Meshaw of Allah
00:08:23.700 Reward?
00:08:25.080 He said, yes
00:08:25.460 And he said, how?
00:08:26.600 He said, do you not get a sin
00:08:27.900 When you commit zina?
00:08:28.660 He said, yes
00:08:29.060 Well, then you get rewarded
00:08:30.180 When you are having intimacy
00:08:31.600 With your wife
00:08:32.140 Number one
00:08:33.140 you protect yourself from zina halal, Allah gave you a wife to have intimacy with in a halal way 1.00
00:08:37.940 number two do you not have a daughter now? I said to him he goes yes
00:08:42.100 I said Habibi would you ever do you ever regret this? He goes Wallahi she put me through hell 1.00
00:08:48.480 whatever but I will go and marry again for that woman for my daughter I said look you got a 1.00
00:08:52.780 beautiful daughter number three which is critically important to you my brother Ish and your wife
00:08:57.900 you're watching this and anyone that's going through divorce I know many situations that an
00:09:02.480 individual who went through one divorce and that divorce caused him to save his
00:09:06.360 second his marriage again how third thing that I told that brother was what do you
00:09:11.560 learn did you learn things from your this marriage that broke down yes okay
00:09:14.200 you're telling me that it was her fault no problem let's go with the argument
00:09:17.480 because I know the ins and outs a bit I can come and say okay maybe she was to
00:09:20.860 blame it to certain aspects okay but he was an angel also did you learn lessons
00:09:26.000 yes do you accept that you also made certain mistakes yes even though it might
00:09:29.480 not be the reason he went for divorce okay now do you agree that the mistakes you made here you're
00:09:33.760 not going to carry it to your next marriage he goes yes do you now know that because she put you
00:09:37.420 through hell you are going to appreciate your next wife even more he goes yes i said then habibi 0.72
00:09:41.940 your istikhara got answered beautifully bro protected you from zina beautiful daughter and
00:09:47.120 on top of that you learn lessons that you will not ruin your marriage and guess what the brother is
00:09:51.260 now married happily and he says wallahi what i went through made me appreciate this wife for if
00:09:57.700 i did not go through that i would have destroyed this marriage do you see so when you look at
00:10:02.580 istaqarah don't look at istaqarah or something like oh that istaqarah that means my marriage is
00:10:06.660 going to be successful it might be that istaqarah that marriage you're going through is preparing
00:10:11.140 you for your ultimate marriage so my advice to brother ish and his ex-wife if the free
00:10:17.300 ta'raqs haven't happened i ask in this holy land allah subhanahu wa ta'ala reunite you guys believe
00:10:21.300 me there's a lot of evil evil people out there specifically this nefaki woman sadly we're seeing 1.00
00:10:26.340 that want divorce they misery loves company they want more people to get divorce break break brother
00:10:31.700 they were calling for me and my wife to get the divorce bro they were literally saying you know
00:10:36.420 causing fitna subhanallah and when allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protects the thing you have relation
00:10:41.380 with allah no one if the dunya came or the nifakas came together it would not harm so my advice is
00:10:47.060 that to you my brothers and sisters who are going through divorce or brother ish and his wife we ask
00:10:52.180 Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala unite you guys if you see there's no khair may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
00:10:56.180 grant you guys both better inshallah and for those who are going through divorce do not despair
00:11:01.380 this is a trial that happens and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will aid you have a strong relationship
00:11:05.940 with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala pray your salah give the haqq of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala salah
00:11:10.100 zakah calculator zakah fasting okay give the haqq of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala abstain from major
00:11:15.540 sins do your adhkar be close to Allah do istighfar in these moments and you will see Allah would
00:11:21.220 never let their servants with a test that they cannot bear Allah is doing this and if this has 0.82
00:11:26.980 caused Ish to come to the Holy Lands to reconnect with his Lord Allah wants that for you and Ibn
00:11:33.220 Al-Qayyim says and it calls from the Salaf that Allah inspires the dua that you make bro Allah 0.76
00:11:39.300 sends you to the Holy Lands and makes inspires you in certain situations calamity like you might
00:11:43.940 hate something which is good for you and you might love something which is bad for you Allah 0.99
00:11:47.060 subhanahu wa ta'ala and what Allah says in the Quran as well he would never change the condition
00:11:51.180 of people until they change what's within themselves so look internally reflect inshallah
00:11:55.520 for both of you hopefully we hear the good news that you guys are back together and if not Allah 1.00
00:11:59.660 has better plans for you guys and whoever's going through a divorce may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
00:12:02.940 make it easy for you especially our you know subhanahu wa ta'ala single mothers and single
00:12:06.720 fathers as well they both suffer but one thing I will give an advice on this happens as well
00:12:11.940 from the sister's side as well and some deadbeat men as well who do not see their kids after they
00:12:16.400 divorced yes cowardly man i believe this wallah i'm so sorry unless they mean stopped and sisters
00:12:20.960 who use their children against their fathers this both this one this one like i've been 0.92
00:12:26.880 both of them are as bad as each other but subhanallah the one that's stopping kinship may allah
00:12:31.440 subhanahu wa ta'ala deal with him that's what i would say inshallah and hope inshallah we'll hear
00:12:34.960 the good news little advice from me to you habibi we are here in mecca if you would like to talk to
00:12:39.600 me off camera inshallah we're here till next time assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
00:12:43.760 May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect our ummah from divorce so that in future generations 0.73
00:12:48.000 can stronghold the deen of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and even those who are divorced
00:12:51.440 Allah will take care of them insha'Allah. As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.