Ali Dawah - March 01, 2017


I HAVE 2 HUSBANDS, HOW DID IT HAPPEN？ ｜｜ AskTheSheikh


Episode Stats

Length

8 minutes

Words per Minute

156.2859

Word Count

1,360

Sentence Count

8

Misogynist Sentences

6

Hate Speech Sentences

33


Summary

In this episode, we talk to Shaykh Eytim al-Haddad about the issue of a sister who has two husbands and is confused as to who is the right husband for her. He talks about the difference between the Islamic divorce and the civil divorce and explains why this is a huge problem.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Sorry Ali.
00:00:01.480 Let's make fun of him.
00:00:03.260 Sorry, what did he just say, chef?
00:00:05.260 Huh?
00:00:05.660 What did he just say?
00:00:06.660 He just said that he doesn't want to go another round.
00:00:09.300 I said, why, Ali?
00:00:10.580 Okay, because he said, I'm scared.
00:00:26.260 As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, brothers and sisters.
00:00:28.600 Hope you guys are doing well.
00:00:29.320 Welcome to our first episode of Ask the Shaykh
00:00:31.320 We're here with Shaykh Eytim Al-Haddad
00:00:33.240 May Allah bless him
00:00:34.520 Our first question, we're going to get straight into it inshallah
00:00:36.940 A sister has messaged them saying that she has two husbands
00:00:40.240 How does this happen?
00:00:42.300 Because a lot of people are thinking, is this even possible?
00:00:44.560 So how does this happen? Can you explain it to us?
00:00:46.360 Yeah, Bismillahirrahmanirrahmanirrahim
00:00:47.420 Alhamdulillah, wa salatu wa salam, wa salam, wa salam, wa salam
00:00:49.040 Actually, I'm really very happy that you brought this issue
00:00:53.100 Because it is a huge problem
00:00:54.700 Wallahi, it is a big problem
00:00:56.220 I receive, maybe on a daily basis
00:00:59.120 The question is related to this
00:01:00.900 A sister is having two husbands
00:01:03.140 A sister is confused
00:01:05.380 Who is the right husband for her?
00:01:07.840 Imagine this
00:01:08.760 In fact, I had a question once
00:01:11.520 Okay, a call from a sister
00:01:13.200 Who said that she had three husbands
00:01:16.380 And she was cohabiting, sleeping with three husbands
00:01:22.260 At not one moment
00:01:24.540 But at a similar period of time
00:01:27.380 And each one of them was claiming that he is the right husband for her
00:01:31.980 He is the authentic husband for her
00:01:35.780 Okay
00:01:36.300 So that's a bit different to the one we have now, yeah?
00:01:39.040 No, it is the same
00:01:39.900 But it can happen in different ways
00:01:41.580 One of them, the most common one
00:01:43.660 The most common one, how it happens
00:01:45.680 Is that
00:01:47.200 Many sisters who are married
00:01:50.180 By the law
00:01:51.380 By the civil court
00:01:52.720 Or by the civil registry
00:01:54.900 They get
00:01:56.400 And they have, of course, an Islamic marriage
00:01:59.100 They get divorced by the civil law
00:02:01.580 They think that
00:02:03.440 Okay, that divorce is equal to an Islamic divorce
00:02:08.080 So they don't seek for an Islamic divorce
00:02:11.360 They just stop at that civil divorce
00:02:15.280 Okay
00:02:15.660 And then after a while
00:02:16.860 They get married Islamically
00:02:19.160 And then after some time
00:02:21.540 They realize that the civil divorce
00:02:23.880 Is not an Islamic divorce
00:02:26.000 Is not an equal
00:02:27.380 Is not equal to the Islamic divorce
00:02:29.760 Okay
00:02:30.120 My dear brothers and sisters
00:02:31.620 I always mention this
00:02:33.180 It is a huge problem
00:02:34.460 In fact, today, subhanAllah
00:02:36.160 On Islam channel
00:02:36.920 I received that question
00:02:38.400 Okay
00:02:39.120 And before going to Islam channel
00:02:41.500 On the fatwa line
00:02:42.580 I received the question
00:02:44.120 This is a huge problem
00:02:45.800 As I said
00:02:46.380 I receive it on a daily basis
00:02:48.060 Almost on a daily basis
00:02:49.240 And there are certain situations
00:02:51.260 That are really grave
00:02:53.420 And really bad
00:02:54.840 Okay
00:02:55.760 Now
00:02:56.700 Regarding the civil divorce
00:02:59.440 And the Islamic divorce
00:03:02.080 The civil marriage
00:03:04.000 And the civil divorce
00:03:05.580 Is a system
00:03:06.580 Is a complete system
00:03:08.140 By itself
00:03:09.220 It has nothing to do
00:03:11.700 With the Islamic marriage
00:03:13.020 And the Islamic divorce
00:03:14.480 Two different systems
00:03:16.480 In order to imagine this
00:03:18.300 Yeah
00:03:18.900 Imagine
00:03:19.700 There is a lady
00:03:21.140 Who is married
00:03:22.360 By the
00:03:23.420 For example
00:03:24.200 British law
00:03:26.020 Yeah
00:03:26.380 And she is married again
00:03:28.520 By the Indian law
00:03:30.700 Yeah
00:03:31.000 Okay
00:03:31.960 If she is divorced
00:03:33.340 By the Indian law
00:03:34.460 She needs a procedure
00:03:36.180 For her divorce
00:03:37.660 To be valid here
00:03:39.060 Because
00:03:40.780 There is a civil divorce
00:03:42.840 In India
00:03:43.600 And there is a civil divorce
00:03:44.780 In the UK
00:03:45.400 Yeah
00:03:45.700 There are two different systems
00:03:48.120 One cannot replace the other
00:03:50.380 And even the civil divorce
00:03:52.420 The Islamic
00:03:53.580 Sorry
00:03:54.420 The civil divorce
00:03:55.300 The civil marriage
00:03:56.340 They don't recognize the Islamic one
00:04:00.380 If you bring a nikah
00:04:02.840 A nikah certificate
00:04:04.140 To the court
00:04:05.800 Yeah
00:04:06.540 To the civil registry
00:04:08.300 And you tell them
00:04:09.400 That I am married
00:04:10.200 They say
00:04:10.920 This paper means nothing
00:04:12.700 If the sister
00:04:14.600 Who received the civil divorce
00:04:16.300 Take that
00:04:17.380 If the sister
00:04:18.880 If a sister
00:04:20.180 Received an Islamic divorce
00:04:22.120 And takes that divorce
00:04:24.160 And goes to the civil registry
00:04:27.080 To the civil court
00:04:28.760 And she says to them
00:04:29.980 That I have a divorce
00:04:32.040 They will look at it
00:04:33.500 And they will say
00:04:34.460 This is not a divorce
00:04:36.400 Okay
00:04:37.740 Yeah
00:04:38.120 They will not recognize it
00:04:39.420 As a divorce
00:04:40.020 Yeah
00:04:40.600 Okay
00:04:41.060 So we need to make sure
00:04:42.760 Our sisters
00:04:43.740 Need to understand
00:04:45.020 That the civil marriage
00:04:47.140 The civil divorce
00:04:48.200 Is totally different
00:04:49.760 From the Islamic marriage
00:04:51.800 The Islamic divorce
00:04:52.780 If you, my dear sister
00:04:54.520 If you are married
00:04:55.560 By the civil law
00:04:56.880 It doesn't mean
00:04:57.740 That you are married
00:04:58.500 By the Islamic Sharia
00:05:00.820 Okay
00:05:01.500 If you are divorced
00:05:02.760 By the civil law
00:05:04.400 It doesn't mean
00:05:05.620 That you are
00:05:06.860 Divorced Islamically
00:05:08.120 And also it can mean
00:05:08.980 That if you have
00:05:09.520 Like civil marriage
00:05:10.680 And not Islamic one
00:05:11.780 You actually come in Zinnah
00:05:12.640 That's another problem
00:05:14.440 Yes
00:05:14.860 It is very likely
00:05:16.420 To be like this
00:05:17.500 So just to
00:05:18.380 Just to quickly wrap it up
00:05:19.320 So that is the reason why
00:05:20.840 This is one of the reasons
00:05:22.240 One of the reasons why
00:05:23.300 Yeah
00:05:23.460 Okay
00:05:23.980 There are many other reasons
00:05:24.900 Okay
00:05:25.460 Okay
00:05:25.900 One of the other reasons
00:05:28.300 Is the fact that
00:05:29.340 This wrong impression
00:05:31.500 Okay
00:05:32.160 That many sisters have
00:05:34.360 Many, many
00:05:35.100 I don't know
00:05:35.660 What is the basis for that
00:05:37.000 They believe that
00:05:38.140 If they are separated
00:05:39.400 From their husbands
00:05:40.340 For a period
00:05:41.380 More than the Idda period
00:05:42.680 For more than three months
00:05:44.040 Then they are automatically
00:05:46.040 Divorced
00:05:47.300 Yeah
00:05:47.640 Yeah
00:05:48.740 Yeah
00:05:49.360 I had a case
00:05:50.380 Of a sister
00:05:51.420 Yeah
00:05:52.440 She is
00:05:52.880 Mature sister
00:05:54.120 Forty plus
00:05:54.920 She said
00:05:55.980 Twenty years ago
00:05:56.840 She was married to a man
00:05:57.880 And then she left him
00:05:59.460 Okay
00:06:00.360 She became pregnant
00:06:01.580 And she had a child
00:06:02.540 She left that man
00:06:03.540 With no Islamic divorce
00:06:04.860 Then
00:06:05.860 She got married
00:06:07.020 To another man
00:06:08.220 She left the other man
00:06:10.000 She stayed for a period
00:06:11.080 Of one year or so
00:06:12.480 She thought that
00:06:13.360 She is divorced
00:06:13.940 From the other man
00:06:14.860 She was not divorced
00:06:15.960 And then she got married
00:06:17.020 To the third man
00:06:18.160 And she had children
00:06:19.260 From every single man
00:06:21.200 And that sister
00:06:22.340 She was shocked to know
00:06:24.020 That she was not
00:06:26.000 Islamically divorced
00:06:27.040 From the first man
00:06:27.960 Okay
00:06:28.500 Not because she was divorced
00:06:30.000 By the civil law
00:06:31.260 No, no
00:06:31.620 She was
00:06:32.420 I don't think that
00:06:33.840 She was married
00:06:34.480 By the civil law
00:06:35.340 Okay
00:06:35.820 So this impression
00:06:37.220 That if you are separated
00:06:38.680 From your husband
00:06:39.580 For a period of time
00:06:41.200 It means that
00:06:41.860 You are automatically
00:06:42.700 Divorced Islamically
00:06:44.680 Is completely wrong
00:06:47.280 Okay
00:06:47.660 Just to sum it up
00:06:48.800 Quickly
00:06:49.320 What is the correct way
00:06:50.700 To go about divorce
00:06:51.660 Can they do it through text
00:06:52.740 Do they need witnesses
00:06:53.660 Can they be over the phone
00:06:54.620 Do they have to meet in person
00:06:56.160 Can you quickly summarize to us
00:06:57.640 The correct way
00:06:58.520 To go about divorce
00:06:59.400 Okay
00:06:59.760 See
00:07:00.200 Before that
00:07:02.020 For our brothers and sisters
00:07:03.920 To learn
00:07:04.780 Ending
00:07:05.440 Ending
00:07:06.480 An Islamic marriage
00:07:07.600 Can be in one of three things
00:07:09.740 Divorce
00:07:11.000 Khul'
00:07:11.540 Fasq
00:07:12.120 Yeah
00:07:13.000 Divorce is initiated
00:07:14.740 By the husband
00:07:15.480 Khul'
00:07:16.240 Is a request
00:07:17.020 By the wife
00:07:17.720 But it has to
00:07:18.720 Be approved
00:07:19.900 By the husband
00:07:21.220 Fasq
00:07:22.080 Is when the
00:07:23.260 Husband
00:07:23.880 When the wife
00:07:24.800 Is stuck
00:07:25.660 The husband
00:07:26.200 Refuses to divorce her
00:07:27.740 And then
00:07:28.800 She will go to
00:07:29.700 A proper
00:07:30.700 Islamic body
00:07:31.660 To
00:07:32.460 Annul
00:07:34.080 Or dissolve her
00:07:36.500 Marriage
00:07:37.100 Now
00:07:37.880 Let us go to
00:07:38.940 The first one
00:07:40.100 Which is
00:07:40.600 The divorce
00:07:41.480 As we said
00:07:43.840 The divorce
00:07:44.340 Is
00:07:44.780 The decision
00:07:45.920 Of the husband
00:07:46.640 He is the one
00:07:47.420 Who is
00:07:47.940 Divorcing his wife
00:07:49.560 It can happen
00:07:51.580 By text
00:07:52.800 By word of mouth
00:07:54.320 By email
00:07:55.580 By any kind
00:07:57.260 Of form
00:07:58.140 You don't need
00:07:59.760 Witnesses
00:08:00.680 As far as
00:08:01.760 The husband
00:08:02.240 Is making it clear
00:08:04.880 That he is
00:08:05.940 Divorcing his wife
00:08:07.340 Yeah
00:08:08.100 Islamically
00:08:09.800 Then that is
00:08:11.380 A valid
00:08:12.240 Islamic
00:08:13.040 Divorce
00:08:14.080 Now
00:08:14.760 Sometimes
00:08:15.300 There might be
00:08:16.100 Issues of
00:08:17.160 Anger
00:08:18.280 Yeah
00:08:18.840 This is
00:08:19.780 This is a
00:08:21.380 Separate issue
00:08:22.140 An imam
00:08:23.400 Who is knowledgeable
00:08:24.200 About these things
00:08:25.140 He is the one
00:08:26.100 Who should
00:08:26.580 Judge on these things
00:08:28.060 Not the husband
00:08:28.900 Not the wife
00:08:29.640 You guys can
00:08:31.680 If you've got any
00:08:32.280 Queries
00:08:32.620 That you want to
00:08:33.220 Ask us
00:08:33.640 To ask the sheikh
00:08:34.300 Email us
00:08:35.260 At
00:08:35.400 Askthesheikh
00:08:36.340 At hotmail.com
00:08:37.560 With your questions
00:08:38.840 And we can
00:08:39.620 Put it towards the sheikh
00:08:41.100 And have your answers