Ali Dawah - September 16, 2019
TRIPLE DIVORCE & SEXUAL INTIMACY IN ISLAM - ALI & TERESA - SPEAKERS CORNER
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
214.35294
Summary
Why does the man have the right to divorce but not the woman? Why does he have the power even though a woman has the right of divorce in Islam? Why is it that a man can divorce his wife but a woman can't?
Transcript
00:00:00.000
But in these contracts, a man can divorce his wife really easily because he can say, I did this very good.
00:00:07.000
So that's not a strong contract, is it? It's just...
00:00:12.000
Yeah, because the woman doesn't negotiate the contract.
00:00:15.000
It's not the woman who's negotiating the contract, it's the woman's guardian or so father or whoever.
00:00:22.000
That's a very good question, sister, yeah? What's your name?
00:00:27.000
While this is live, why couldn't I hear the sound of the headphones?
00:00:31.000
It was working before I pressed record, but I can see that's why it's working.
00:00:35.000
I have no idea. I don't understand that stuff. That's why you're here.
00:00:42.000
Using the settings that already goes there, yeah?
00:00:47.000
He's quite peaceful, he can be quite aggressive sometimes. I'm joking.
00:00:51.000
So now, the reason why talaq was revealed, this is why I say to him, look at the context.
00:01:01.000
Actually, I'm going to get something to you, because I was doing a little research about this matter, yeah?
00:01:04.000
And I found something really profound, I'm just going to go and find it.
00:01:07.000
Is this, we look at context. Why was that revealed?
00:01:10.000
Why does the man have the power but not the woman?
00:01:12.000
Even though, as Jewish people, Jewish people, the woman has absolutely no right of divorce.
00:01:21.000
And it's hard to get. Yeah? That's one of my rhymes. Yeah?
00:01:24.000
It's called a get. Basically, the man has to give it.
00:01:27.000
If the man doesn't give it, there is Jewish woman to today, there's documentaries on it,
00:01:32.000
In Islam, a woman has a right to ask for divorce.
00:01:36.000
So, he will say to the woman, to the man, I want you to divorce me. I do not want to give it Kola. Release me.
00:01:42.000
If not, she can go to an Imam, a scholar, and through that person, she can get divorced.
00:01:48.000
However, why does the man have the right to divorce but not a woman?
00:01:52.000
Recent studies show, I was doing a research, I find the sources as well, yeah?
00:01:56.000
That women are 70% more likely to initiate a break, a break divorce, yeah?
00:02:04.000
And a lot of Muslim women can testify to this, yeah?
00:02:07.000
And I know personal instances, yeah? Okay? I know friends as well, yeah?
00:02:11.000
When a woman gets upset, that's why my marriage documentary is on it, yeah?
00:02:14.000
That's why, that most of the times, a woman gets emotional and...
00:02:22.000
There is a lot of people can testify to this. When a woman gets emotional, divorce me, divorce me.
00:02:25.000
I don't want to be with you. She doesn't mean it, but she says it.
00:02:28.000
If the woman had the power of divorce, oh my gosh. Oh my goodness.
00:02:34.000
Talak, talak, talak, talak, talak. Left, right, right, right. Divorce me, divorce me.
00:02:39.000
The reason why the woman, the man has got the power is because there is a difference.
00:02:43.000
That's why we say the way your biology and my biology is different.
00:02:46.000
You have, you can multitask. I can't. It's very hard for me.
00:02:50.000
I cannot, the woman can, you have gifts that I can't do myself, yeah?
00:02:54.000
But that's not taking into consideration that there are women that, when they say they want the divorce, they actually mean it.
00:03:01.000
That's why they have a right in Islam that if they want to divorce and the man is not giving them the divorce,
00:03:10.000
It's not. It's a lot easier for a man to divorce a woman.
00:03:13.000
But if the man doesn't want to divorce her, then...
00:03:18.000
If the man doesn't want to divorce her, you're in prison for a lifetime.
00:03:38.000
Imam Qurtabi is a mufassirun in his tafsir, yeah?
00:03:42.000
He says the reason why this was revealed was the following.
00:03:45.000
Pagan Arabs in those days, you know what they would do to women?
00:04:08.000
After the three talaqs, if you give talaq, talaq once, yeah?
00:04:19.000
On the third one when you give the talaq, game over.
00:04:25.000
She has to move on with her life, get married, have a life.
00:04:30.000
If that marriage doesn't work out, then you can renew your contract with her.
00:04:36.000
Because in a man's mind, he's thinking, if I give talaq, there's a chance that I could
00:04:42.000
So that's the reason why a man cannot abuse it.
00:04:44.000
Because if he does abuse it, his wife, once he gives the third talaq, it's finished.
00:04:51.000
That's why you have to, when you give talaq, you have to think to yourself, okay, I'm given
00:04:56.000
this based on that I'm never going to get back with her.
00:04:58.000
She will have to marry another man, which will hurt me.
00:05:00.000
So he would use his talaq accordingly, not abuse it.
00:05:03.000
And a woman, if she wants to divorce his sister, what she has to do is divorce me.
00:05:09.000
But if you're a Jewish woman, you're imprisoned.
00:05:12.000
Divorce is the most hated thing in the side of God.
00:05:17.000
Divorce is the most hated thing in the side of God.
00:05:25.000
Their sister, because men used to abuse it in Arabian.
00:05:37.000
And there was even a time when a woman came and she complained to the prophet.
00:05:48.000
Because you see, this is intimacy is the right of a woman and a man.
00:05:54.000
You can, a woman can go and say, I'm not, my husband is not intimate with me.
00:06:11.000
So for example, if she's pregnant, if she's pregnant, he needs to pay her and look after
00:06:19.000
This is what you have today of, you know, they call them deadbeat dads.
00:06:25.000
By the way, I don't know what exactly that means.
00:06:29.000
But these fathers, they go and sleep around, yeah?
00:06:32.000
And you've got these single mothers who are on benefits and they've just disappeared.
00:06:39.000
But there's a legal thing in place that they can take a percentage of their salary.
00:06:45.000
That's the reason why when you get married, sister, you initiate a dowry.
00:06:51.000
If you accept the Islam, sister, I would personally say ask for 20,000.
00:07:01.000
If he starts, you know, like he's there to use you, et cetera, you know, you have that
00:07:09.000
These measures are in place to protect the rights of women.
00:07:16.000
There's a lot of men out there, folks from, says, I love you, Romeo, Juliet, yeah, sleep
00:07:21.000
I was reading a story, one girl, it broke my heart.
00:07:24.000
She was like, I thought he was the one, I really loved him, da-da-da-da-da-da-da, next
00:07:33.000
You're using her emotionally, sexually, and you're in it.
00:07:38.000
By the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, you don't have to be equal.
00:07:46.000
By the way, I mean, the woman, you're not just there.
00:07:48.000
The woman couldn't walk on the road on her own, it's all right.
00:08:07.000
Joe, Joe, Joe, equality, we're going to have a boxing match.
00:08:14.000
Because you physically, as a man, are stronger than her.
00:08:32.000
You're strong, you have your unique points, I am a unique point.
00:08:36.000
I believe women are mentally stronger than men.
00:08:43.000
Emotionally, is a woman equal to you or nothing?
00:08:53.000
Men from Mars and women from whatever, you know?
00:09:05.000
Okay, you have some really bad scholars as a Saudi Arabia.