Ali Dawah - September 16, 2019


TRIPLE DIVORCE & SEXUAL INTIMACY IN ISLAM - ALI & TERESA - SPEAKERS CORNER


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

214.35294

Word Count

2,050

Sentence Count

220

Misogynist Sentences

29

Hate Speech Sentences

37


Summary

Why does the man have the right to divorce but not the woman? Why does he have the power even though a woman has the right of divorce in Islam? Why is it that a man can divorce his wife but a woman can't?


Transcript

00:00:00.000 But in these contracts, a man can divorce his wife really easily because he can say, I did this very good.
00:00:06.000 Yeah, talak, talak, talak, yes.
00:00:07.000 So that's not a strong contract, is it? It's just...
00:00:10.000 It won't wake up.
00:00:12.000 Yeah, because the woman doesn't negotiate the contract.
00:00:15.000 It's not the woman who's negotiating the contract, it's the woman's guardian or so father or whoever.
00:00:22.000 That's a very good question, sister, yeah? What's your name?
00:00:25.000 Alif.
00:00:26.000 Sister Theresa, yeah, I'm Alif, yeah?
00:00:27.000 While this is live, why couldn't I hear the sound of the headphones?
00:00:31.000 It was working before I pressed record, but I can see that's why it's working.
00:00:35.000 I have no idea. I don't understand that stuff. That's why you're here.
00:00:38.000 Well, this is not my settings.
00:00:40.000 Hopefully it is recording.
00:00:41.000 Oh, it's bad.
00:00:42.000 Using the settings that already goes there, yeah?
00:00:43.000 Okay, leave it, let's see.
00:00:44.000 Okay, Sister Theresa, this is Joe.
00:00:47.000 He's quite peaceful, he can be quite aggressive sometimes. I'm joking.
00:00:51.000 So now, the reason why talaq was revealed, this is why I say to him, look at the context.
00:00:56.000 Talaq means divorce.
00:00:57.000 Yes, talaq, talaq. If the man has the power...
00:01:00.000 Actually, you know what?
00:01:01.000 Actually, I'm going to get something to you, because I was doing a little research about this matter, yeah?
00:01:04.000 And I found something really profound, I'm just going to go and find it.
00:01:07.000 Is this, we look at context. Why was that revealed?
00:01:10.000 Why does the man have the power but not the woman?
00:01:12.000 Even though, as Jewish people, Jewish people, the woman has absolutely no right of divorce.
00:01:18.000 It's called a get. It's called a get, yeah?
00:01:21.000 And it's hard to get. Yeah? That's one of my rhymes. Yeah?
00:01:24.000 It's called a get. Basically, the man has to give it.
00:01:27.000 If the man doesn't give it, there is Jewish woman to today, there's documentaries on it,
00:01:30.000 that she's still married to him.
00:01:32.000 In Islam, a woman has a right to ask for divorce.
00:01:35.000 Kola, yeah?
00:01:36.000 So, he will say to the woman, to the man, I want you to divorce me. I do not want to give it Kola. Release me.
00:01:41.000 Yeah? I want to go.
00:01:42.000 If not, she can go to an Imam, a scholar, and through that person, she can get divorced.
00:01:48.000 However, why does the man have the right to divorce but not a woman?
00:01:52.000 Recent studies show, I was doing a research, I find the sources as well, yeah?
00:01:56.000 That women are 70% more likely to initiate a break, a break divorce, yeah?
00:02:04.000 And a lot of Muslim women can testify to this, yeah?
00:02:07.000 And I know personal instances, yeah? Okay? I know friends as well, yeah?
00:02:11.000 When a woman gets upset, that's why my marriage documentary is on it, yeah?
00:02:14.000 That's why, that most of the times, a woman gets emotional and...
00:02:19.000 Give me divorce. Give me divorce.
00:02:20.000 Wallah, I'm not joking with you, yeah?
00:02:22.000 There is a lot of people can testify to this. When a woman gets emotional, divorce me, divorce me.
00:02:25.000 I don't want to be with you. She doesn't mean it, but she says it.
00:02:28.000 If the woman had the power of divorce, oh my gosh. Oh my goodness.
00:02:32.000 They'll be divorced every day, happy day.
00:02:34.000 Talak, talak, talak, talak, talak. Left, right, right, right. Divorce me, divorce me.
00:02:37.000 You came home late. Talak, divorce me.
00:02:39.000 The reason why the woman, the man has got the power is because there is a difference.
00:02:43.000 That's why we say the way your biology and my biology is different.
00:02:46.000 You have, you can multitask. I can't. It's very hard for me.
00:02:50.000 I cannot, the woman can, you have gifts that I can't do myself, yeah?
00:02:54.000 But that's not taking into consideration that there are women that, when they say they want the divorce, they actually mean it.
00:02:59.000 It becomes a grey area, doesn't it?
00:03:01.000 That's why they have a right in Islam that if they want to divorce and the man is not giving them the divorce,
00:03:05.000 because the talak belongs to the man, yeah?
00:03:07.000 But it's not an easy process.
00:03:09.000 It is.
00:03:10.000 It's not. It's a lot easier for a man to divorce a woman.
00:03:12.000 No, no, no, no, but let me tell you.
00:03:13.000 But if the man doesn't want to divorce her, then...
00:03:15.000 That's it.
00:03:16.000 No, no, no, no, we're not Jewish.
00:03:17.000 The Jews, yes, you're finished.
00:03:18.000 If the man doesn't want to divorce her, you're in prison for a lifetime.
00:03:21.000 Islamically, you can ask for khula.
00:03:23.000 You can easily ask for khula.
00:03:24.000 To another man.
00:03:25.000 Sorry?
00:03:26.000 To another man.
00:03:27.000 No, no, you can ask your husband.
00:03:28.000 For divorce.
00:03:29.000 I want you to divorce me.
00:03:30.000 He's not.
00:03:31.000 You can go to a scholar and get the divorce.
00:03:33.000 That's point number one.
00:03:34.000 Why was this revealed?
00:03:36.000 Let me tell you why it was revealed.
00:03:37.000 And this is why it's profound.
00:03:38.000 Imam Qurtabi is a mufassirun in his tafsir, yeah?
00:03:42.000 He says the reason why this was revealed was the following.
00:03:45.000 Pagan Arabs in those days, you know what they would do to women?
00:03:48.000 They had no limits to talaq, to divorce.
00:03:50.000 They would say, I divorce you.
00:03:52.000 She wants to move on with her life?
00:03:54.000 No, I take you back.
00:03:56.000 And then he'll get...
00:03:57.000 Divorce her again.
00:03:58.000 Talaq?
00:03:59.000 She wants to move on with another man?
00:04:00.000 No, I take you back.
00:04:01.000 She was imprisoned.
00:04:03.000 That's why Allah legislated it to three.
00:04:05.000 And there's another wisdom behind it, sister.
00:04:08.000 After the three talaqs, if you give talaq, talaq once, yeah?
00:04:12.000 You have an argument, you make up.
00:04:14.000 Two months go by, you give another talaq.
00:04:17.000 You make up, argue.
00:04:18.000 The third one.
00:04:19.000 On the third one when you give the talaq, game over.
00:04:22.000 You cannot marry that woman again.
00:04:25.000 She has to move on with her life, get married, have a life.
00:04:30.000 If that marriage doesn't work out, then you can renew your contract with her.
00:04:34.000 Now let me tell you why, sister.
00:04:36.000 Because in a man's mind, he's thinking, if I give talaq, there's a chance that I could
00:04:41.000 lose her forever.
00:04:42.000 So that's the reason why a man cannot abuse it.
00:04:44.000 Because if he does abuse it, his wife, once he gives the third talaq, it's finished.
00:04:49.000 You cannot get with that.
00:04:50.000 Impossible.
00:04:51.000 That's why you have to, when you give talaq, you have to think to yourself, okay, I'm given
00:04:56.000 this based on that I'm never going to get back with her.
00:04:58.000 She will have to marry another man, which will hurt me.
00:05:00.000 So he would use his talaq accordingly, not abuse it.
00:05:03.000 And a woman, if she wants to divorce his sister, what she has to do is divorce me.
00:05:06.000 I want to pull her.
00:05:07.000 And she gets, she has those rights.
00:05:09.000 But if you're a Jewish woman, you're imprisoned.
00:05:12.000 Divorce is the most hated thing in the side of God.
00:05:15.000 What's that?
00:05:16.000 Divorce.
00:05:17.000 Divorce is the most hated thing in the side of God.
00:05:18.000 It's the most hated.
00:05:19.000 It's good.
00:05:20.000 There's a narration where it's weak.
00:05:21.000 It's weak.
00:05:22.000 That the throne of God shakes, right?
00:05:23.000 Excuse me.
00:05:24.000 That's why it stays.
00:05:25.000 Their sister, because men used to abuse it in Arabian.
00:05:28.000 Yeah.
00:05:29.000 They used to mess around.
00:05:31.000 Allah said, no.
00:05:32.000 Here's the limit.
00:05:33.000 You cross the limit.
00:05:34.000 Your wife is moving on.
00:05:35.000 And you can't do nothing about it.
00:05:37.000 And there was even a time when a woman came and she complained to the prophet.
00:05:40.000 You know what she complained about?
00:05:41.000 Look at this.
00:05:42.000 She said, I'm not satisfied sexually.
00:05:44.000 She said, divorce.
00:05:46.000 Divorce.
00:05:47.000 Divorce.
00:05:48.000 Because you see, this is intimacy is the right of a woman and a man.
00:05:52.000 You have to, it's a right.
00:05:54.000 You can, a woman can go and say, I'm not, my husband is not intimate with me.
00:05:58.000 She has a right to get a divorce.
00:06:00.000 Because that's her right.
00:06:01.000 That's her right.
00:06:02.000 You have to give her that right.
00:06:03.000 I'm not.
00:06:04.000 I'm not.
00:06:05.000 I'm not.
00:06:06.000 You've been off with the boss earlier.
00:06:07.000 What about the nefarer?
00:06:08.000 He still keep paying if you have kids.
00:06:10.000 Yes.
00:06:11.000 So for example, if she's pregnant, if she's pregnant, he needs to pay her and look after
00:06:17.000 her and not kick her out from the house.
00:06:19.000 This is what you have today of, you know, they call them deadbeat dads.
00:06:22.000 Is that like a percentage of the...
00:06:24.000 Is that like a percentage of the...
00:06:25.000 By the way, I don't know what exactly that means.
00:06:27.000 I hope it's not anything really rude, yeah?
00:06:29.000 But these fathers, they go and sleep around, yeah?
00:06:32.000 And you've got these single mothers who are on benefits and they've just disappeared.
00:06:36.000 That's disgusting.
00:06:38.000 I find it bizarre.
00:06:39.000 But there's a legal thing in place that they can take a percentage of their salary.
00:06:42.000 The government.
00:06:43.000 Well, thank God for that.
00:06:44.000 Yeah?
00:06:45.000 That's the reason why when you get married, sister, you initiate a dowry.
00:06:49.000 So you say 10,000 pounds, yeah?
00:06:51.000 If you accept the Islam, sister, I would personally say ask for 20,000.
00:06:54.000 Yeah?
00:06:55.000 Alright.
00:06:56.000 That's...
00:06:57.000 That's your right.
00:06:58.000 You know why, sister?
00:06:59.000 Because that protects you, number one.
00:07:01.000 If he starts, you know, like he's there to use you, et cetera, you know, you have that
00:07:06.000 as a security, yeah?
00:07:07.000 You get what I'm trying to say?
00:07:08.000 You get what I'm trying to say?
00:07:09.000 These measures are in place to protect the rights of women.
00:07:11.000 Why does a woman have a guardian?
00:07:13.000 It has to be a male.
00:07:14.000 Because it's to protect her from heartbreak.
00:07:16.000 There's a lot of men out there, folks from, says, I love you, Romeo, Juliet, yeah, sleep
00:07:19.000 with her, bye-bye.
00:07:20.000 You know how many stories I hear like that?
00:07:21.000 I was reading a story, one girl, it broke my heart.
00:07:24.000 She was like, I thought he was the one, I really loved him, da-da-da-da-da-da-da, next
00:07:29.000 pink, he's gone.
00:07:30.000 That's disgusting.
00:07:31.000 You're leaving a woman shattered.
00:07:33.000 You're using her emotionally, sexually, and you're in it.
00:07:36.000 And you're in it.
00:07:37.000 It's not about equality.
00:07:38.000 By the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, you don't have to be equal.
00:07:41.000 But it's taken a long time.
00:07:43.000 You don't have to be equal.
00:07:44.000 You don't have to be equal.
00:07:45.000 You don't have to be equal.
00:07:46.000 By the way, I mean, the woman, you're not just there.
00:07:48.000 The woman couldn't walk on the road on her own, it's all right.
00:07:50.000 Okay, no, okay, all right.
00:07:51.000 You want equality, yeah?
00:07:52.000 Have you been there?
00:07:53.000 No, no, just a second, just a second.
00:07:54.000 Have you been there?
00:07:55.000 No, I know people have been there.
00:07:56.000 Then you are-
00:07:57.000 I wouldn't go there.
00:07:58.000 You are propagating wise.
00:07:59.000 I have been there, I've seen-
00:08:00.000 Okay.
00:08:01.000 Do you want equality?
00:08:02.000 Do you want equality?
00:08:03.000 Do you want equality?
00:08:04.000 No.
00:08:05.000 Sister, do you want a boxing match?
00:08:06.000 Nah, equality.
00:08:07.000 Joe, Joe, Joe, equality, we're going to have a boxing match.
00:08:10.000 One on one, sister, no back-
00:08:11.000 But that's stupid.
00:08:12.000 Oh, that-
00:08:13.000 That's stupid.
00:08:14.000 Because you physically, as a man, are stronger than her.
00:08:15.000 Why would you say that?
00:08:16.000 Thank you!
00:08:17.000 That's my point.
00:08:18.000 That makes no sense.
00:08:19.000 Justice in Islam, no equality, justice.
00:08:20.000 We give the woman-
00:08:21.000 Justice according to who?
00:08:22.000 Joe, Joe.
00:08:23.000 According to the creator of the hero.
00:08:25.000 So you're saying that men naturally should be-
00:08:29.000 Because you're physically stronger.
00:08:30.000 That's what he's claiming.
00:08:31.000 Let's have a boxing.
00:08:32.000 You're strong, you have your unique points, I am a unique point.
00:08:35.000 I'm physically strong.
00:08:36.000 I believe women are mentally stronger than men.
00:08:38.000 That's why a lot of men commit suicide.
00:08:40.000 A lot of women, they're not.
00:08:41.000 So you're-
00:08:42.000 I wish I was mentally strong.
00:08:43.000 Emotionally, is a woman equal to you or nothing?
00:08:47.000 Emotionally, a woman's not equal to you.
00:08:49.000 Women-
00:08:50.000 No, physically.
00:08:51.000 No, no.
00:08:52.000 Women tend to be more emotional.
00:08:53.000 Men from Mars and women from whatever, you know?
00:08:55.000 Venus.
00:08:56.000 Venus, yeah.
00:08:57.000 So don't try to-
00:08:58.000 I'm from the moon.
00:08:59.000 To say something which is not-
00:09:00.000 Academically, right?
00:09:01.000 You try to defend Saudi Arabia.
00:09:02.000 Any more questions to start?
00:09:03.000 You have some-
00:09:04.000 No, you're not defending, not defending.
00:09:05.000 Okay, you have some really bad scholars as a Saudi Arabia.
00:09:07.000 Thank you.
00:09:08.000 You are not-
00:09:09.000 Thank you so much, Mr.