Ali Dawah - TRIPLE DIVORCE & SEXUAL INTIMACY IN ISLAM - ALI & TERESA - SPEAKERS CORNER

00:00:00.000 But in these contracts, a man can divorce his wife really easily because he can say, I did this very good. 0.64

00:00:06.000 Yeah, talak, talak, talak, yes.

00:00:07.000 So that's not a strong contract, is it? It's just...

00:00:10.000 It won't wake up.

00:00:12.000 Yeah, because the woman doesn't negotiate the contract. 1.00

00:00:15.000 It's not the woman who's negotiating the contract, it's the woman's guardian or so father or whoever.

00:00:22.000 That's a very good question, sister, yeah? What's your name?

00:00:25.000 Alif.

00:00:26.000 Sister Theresa, yeah, I'm Alif, yeah?

00:00:27.000 While this is live, why couldn't I hear the sound of the headphones?

00:00:31.000 It was working before I pressed record, but I can see that's why it's working.

00:00:35.000 I have no idea. I don't understand that stuff. That's why you're here.

00:00:38.000 Well, this is not my settings.

00:00:40.000 Hopefully it is recording.

00:00:41.000 Oh, it's bad.

00:00:42.000 Using the settings that already goes there, yeah?

00:00:43.000 Okay, leave it, let's see.

00:00:44.000 Okay, Sister Theresa, this is Joe.

00:00:47.000 He's quite peaceful, he can be quite aggressive sometimes. I'm joking.

00:00:51.000 So now, the reason why talaq was revealed, this is why I say to him, look at the context.

00:00:56.000 Talaq means divorce. 0.62

00:00:57.000 Yes, talaq, talaq. If the man has the power...

00:01:00.000 Actually, you know what?

00:01:01.000 Actually, I'm going to get something to you, because I was doing a little research about this matter, yeah?

00:01:04.000 And I found something really profound, I'm just going to go and find it.

00:01:07.000 Is this, we look at context. Why was that revealed?

00:01:10.000 Why does the man have the power but not the woman? 1.00

00:01:12.000 Even though, as Jewish people, Jewish people, the woman has absolutely no right of divorce.

00:01:18.000 It's called a get. It's called a get, yeah?

00:01:21.000 And it's hard to get. Yeah? That's one of my rhymes. Yeah?

00:01:24.000 It's called a get. Basically, the man has to give it.

00:01:27.000 If the man doesn't give it, there is Jewish woman to today, there's documentaries on it, 0.98

00:01:30.000 that she's still married to him.

00:01:32.000 In Islam, a woman has a right to ask for divorce. 0.96

00:01:35.000 Kola, yeah?

00:01:36.000 So, he will say to the woman, to the man, I want you to divorce me. I do not want to give it Kola. Release me. 0.99

00:01:41.000 Yeah? I want to go.

00:01:42.000 If not, she can go to an Imam, a scholar, and through that person, she can get divorced. 0.96

00:01:48.000 However, why does the man have the right to divorce but not a woman? 0.94

00:01:52.000 Recent studies show, I was doing a research, I find the sources as well, yeah?

00:01:56.000 That women are 70% more likely to initiate a break, a break divorce, yeah?

00:02:04.000 And a lot of Muslim women can testify to this, yeah? 1.00

00:02:07.000 And I know personal instances, yeah? Okay? I know friends as well, yeah?

00:02:11.000 When a woman gets upset, that's why my marriage documentary is on it, yeah? 1.00

00:02:14.000 That's why, that most of the times, a woman gets emotional and... 0.98

00:02:19.000 Give me divorce. Give me divorce. 1.00

00:02:20.000 Wallah, I'm not joking with you, yeah?

00:02:22.000 There is a lot of people can testify to this. When a woman gets emotional, divorce me, divorce me. 0.98

00:02:25.000 I don't want to be with you. She doesn't mean it, but she says it.

00:02:28.000 If the woman had the power of divorce, oh my gosh. Oh my goodness. 1.00

00:02:32.000 They'll be divorced every day, happy day.

00:02:34.000 Talak, talak, talak, talak, talak. Left, right, right, right. Divorce me, divorce me.

00:02:37.000 You came home late. Talak, divorce me. 1.00

00:02:39.000 The reason why the woman, the man has got the power is because there is a difference. 1.00

00:02:43.000 That's why we say the way your biology and my biology is different.

00:02:46.000 You have, you can multitask. I can't. It's very hard for me.

00:02:50.000 I cannot, the woman can, you have gifts that I can't do myself, yeah? 1.00

00:02:54.000 But that's not taking into consideration that there are women that, when they say they want the divorce, they actually mean it. 0.73

00:02:59.000 It becomes a grey area, doesn't it?

00:03:01.000 That's why they have a right in Islam that if they want to divorce and the man is not giving them the divorce,

00:03:05.000 because the talak belongs to the man, yeah?

00:03:07.000 But it's not an easy process.

00:03:09.000 It is.

00:03:10.000 It's not. It's a lot easier for a man to divorce a woman. 0.71

00:03:12.000 No, no, no, no, but let me tell you.

00:03:13.000 But if the man doesn't want to divorce her, then... 0.97

00:03:15.000 That's it.

00:03:16.000 No, no, no, no, we're not Jewish.

00:03:17.000 The Jews, yes, you're finished. 1.00

00:03:18.000 If the man doesn't want to divorce her, you're in prison for a lifetime. 0.95

00:03:21.000 Islamically, you can ask for khula.

00:03:23.000 You can easily ask for khula.

00:03:24.000 To another man.

00:03:25.000 Sorry?

00:03:26.000 To another man.

00:03:27.000 No, no, you can ask your husband.

00:03:28.000 For divorce.

00:03:29.000 I want you to divorce me.

00:03:30.000 He's not.

00:03:31.000 You can go to a scholar and get the divorce.

00:03:33.000 That's point number one.

00:03:34.000 Why was this revealed?

00:03:36.000 Let me tell you why it was revealed.

00:03:37.000 And this is why it's profound.

00:03:38.000 Imam Qurtabi is a mufassirun in his tafsir, yeah? 0.83

00:03:42.000 He says the reason why this was revealed was the following.

00:03:45.000 Pagan Arabs in those days, you know what they would do to women? 1.00

00:03:48.000 They had no limits to talaq, to divorce.

00:03:50.000 They would say, I divorce you.

00:03:52.000 She wants to move on with her life? 1.00

00:03:54.000 No, I take you back.

00:03:56.000 And then he'll get...

00:03:57.000 Divorce her again. 0.80

00:03:58.000 Talaq? 0.97

00:03:59.000 She wants to move on with another man? 1.00

00:04:00.000 No, I take you back.

00:04:01.000 She was imprisoned.

00:04:03.000 That's why Allah legislated it to three. 0.99

00:04:05.000 And there's another wisdom behind it, sister.

00:04:08.000 After the three talaqs, if you give talaq, talaq once, yeah?

00:04:12.000 You have an argument, you make up.

00:04:14.000 Two months go by, you give another talaq.

00:04:17.000 You make up, argue.

00:04:18.000 The third one.

00:04:19.000 On the third one when you give the talaq, game over. 0.58

00:04:22.000 You cannot marry that woman again. 1.00

00:04:25.000 She has to move on with her life, get married, have a life. 0.89

00:04:30.000 If that marriage doesn't work out, then you can renew your contract with her.

00:04:34.000 Now let me tell you why, sister.

00:04:36.000 Because in a man's mind, he's thinking, if I give talaq, there's a chance that I could

00:04:41.000 lose her forever.

00:04:42.000 So that's the reason why a man cannot abuse it.

00:04:44.000 Because if he does abuse it, his wife, once he gives the third talaq, it's finished. 0.93

00:04:49.000 You cannot get with that.

00:04:50.000 Impossible.

00:04:51.000 That's why you have to, when you give talaq, you have to think to yourself, okay, I'm given

00:04:56.000 this based on that I'm never going to get back with her.

00:04:58.000 She will have to marry another man, which will hurt me. 0.72

00:05:00.000 So he would use his talaq accordingly, not abuse it.

00:05:03.000 And a woman, if she wants to divorce his sister, what she has to do is divorce me. 1.00

00:05:06.000 I want to pull her.

00:05:07.000 And she gets, she has those rights. 0.80

00:05:09.000 But if you're a Jewish woman, you're imprisoned.

00:05:12.000 Divorce is the most hated thing in the side of God. 0.91

00:05:15.000 What's that?

00:05:16.000 Divorce.

00:05:17.000 Divorce is the most hated thing in the side of God.

00:05:18.000 It's the most hated.

00:05:19.000 It's good.

00:05:20.000 There's a narration where it's weak.

00:05:21.000 It's weak.

00:05:22.000 That the throne of God shakes, right?

00:05:23.000 Excuse me.

00:05:24.000 That's why it stays.

00:05:25.000 Their sister, because men used to abuse it in Arabian. 0.84

00:05:28.000 Yeah.

00:05:29.000 They used to mess around.

00:05:31.000 Allah said, no.

00:05:32.000 Here's the limit.

00:05:33.000 You cross the limit.

00:05:34.000 Your wife is moving on.

00:05:35.000 And you can't do nothing about it.

00:05:37.000 And there was even a time when a woman came and she complained to the prophet.

00:05:40.000 You know what she complained about? 0.90

00:05:41.000 Look at this.

00:05:42.000 She said, I'm not satisfied sexually.

00:05:44.000 She said, divorce.

00:05:46.000 Divorce.

00:05:47.000 Divorce.

00:05:48.000 Because you see, this is intimacy is the right of a woman and a man.

00:05:52.000 You have to, it's a right.

00:05:54.000 You can, a woman can go and say, I'm not, my husband is not intimate with me. 0.94

00:05:58.000 She has a right to get a divorce. 1.00

00:06:00.000 Because that's her right.

00:06:01.000 That's her right.

00:06:02.000 You have to give her that right.

00:06:03.000 I'm not.

00:06:04.000 I'm not.

00:06:05.000 I'm not.

00:06:06.000 You've been off with the boss earlier.

00:06:07.000 What about the nefarer?

00:06:08.000 He still keep paying if you have kids.

00:06:10.000 Yes.

00:06:11.000 So for example, if she's pregnant, if she's pregnant, he needs to pay her and look after 1.00

00:06:17.000 her and not kick her out from the house.

00:06:19.000 This is what you have today of, you know, they call them deadbeat dads.

00:06:22.000 Is that like a percentage of the...

00:06:24.000 Is that like a percentage of the...

00:06:25.000 By the way, I don't know what exactly that means.

00:06:27.000 I hope it's not anything really rude, yeah?

00:06:29.000 But these fathers, they go and sleep around, yeah?

00:06:32.000 And you've got these single mothers who are on benefits and they've just disappeared. 1.00

00:06:36.000 That's disgusting.

00:06:38.000 I find it bizarre.

00:06:39.000 But there's a legal thing in place that they can take a percentage of their salary.

00:06:42.000 The government.

00:06:43.000 Well, thank God for that.

00:06:44.000 Yeah?

00:06:45.000 That's the reason why when you get married, sister, you initiate a dowry. 1.00

00:06:49.000 So you say 10,000 pounds, yeah?

00:06:51.000 If you accept the Islam, sister, I would personally say ask for 20,000. 1.00

00:06:54.000 Yeah?

00:06:55.000 Alright.

00:06:56.000 That's...

00:06:57.000 That's your right.

00:06:58.000 You know why, sister?

00:06:59.000 Because that protects you, number one.

00:07:01.000 If he starts, you know, like he's there to use you, et cetera, you know, you have that

00:07:06.000 as a security, yeah?

00:07:07.000 You get what I'm trying to say?

00:07:08.000 You get what I'm trying to say?

00:07:09.000 These measures are in place to protect the rights of women. 0.99

00:07:11.000 Why does a woman have a guardian? 1.00

00:07:13.000 It has to be a male.

00:07:14.000 Because it's to protect her from heartbreak.

00:07:16.000 There's a lot of men out there, folks from, says, I love you, Romeo, Juliet, yeah, sleep

00:07:19.000 with her, bye-bye.

00:07:20.000 You know how many stories I hear like that?

00:07:21.000 I was reading a story, one girl, it broke my heart.

00:07:24.000 She was like, I thought he was the one, I really loved him, da-da-da-da-da-da-da, next

00:07:29.000 pink, he's gone. 0.94

00:07:30.000 That's disgusting. 1.00

00:07:31.000 You're leaving a woman shattered. 0.99

00:07:33.000 You're using her emotionally, sexually, and you're in it.

00:07:36.000 And you're in it.

00:07:37.000 It's not about equality.

00:07:38.000 By the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, you don't have to be equal.

00:07:41.000 But it's taken a long time.

00:07:43.000 You don't have to be equal.

00:07:44.000 You don't have to be equal.

00:07:45.000 You don't have to be equal.

00:07:46.000 By the way, I mean, the woman, you're not just there.

00:07:48.000 The woman couldn't walk on the road on her own, it's all right. 1.00

00:07:50.000 Okay, no, okay, all right.

00:07:51.000 You want equality, yeah?

00:07:52.000 Have you been there?

00:07:53.000 No, no, just a second, just a second.

00:07:54.000 Have you been there?

00:07:55.000 No, I know people have been there.

00:07:56.000 Then you are-

00:07:57.000 I wouldn't go there.

00:07:58.000 You are propagating wise.

00:07:59.000 I have been there, I've seen-

00:08:00.000 Okay.

00:08:01.000 Do you want equality?

00:08:02.000 Do you want equality?

00:08:03.000 Do you want equality?

00:08:04.000 No.

00:08:05.000 Sister, do you want a boxing match? 1.00

00:08:06.000 Nah, equality.

00:08:07.000 Joe, Joe, Joe, equality, we're going to have a boxing match. 0.88

00:08:10.000 One on one, sister, no back- 1.00

00:08:11.000 But that's stupid. 1.00

00:08:12.000 Oh, that- 1.00

00:08:13.000 That's stupid. 1.00

00:08:14.000 Because you physically, as a man, are stronger than her. 1.00

00:08:15.000 Why would you say that?

00:08:16.000 Thank you!

00:08:17.000 That's my point.

00:08:18.000 That makes no sense.

00:08:19.000 Justice in Islam, no equality, justice. 1.00

00:08:20.000 We give the woman- 0.98

00:08:21.000 Justice according to who?

00:08:22.000 Joe, Joe.

00:08:23.000 According to the creator of the hero.

00:08:25.000 So you're saying that men naturally should be-

00:08:29.000 Because you're physically stronger.

00:08:30.000 That's what he's claiming.

00:08:31.000 Let's have a boxing.

00:08:32.000 You're strong, you have your unique points, I am a unique point.

00:08:35.000 I'm physically strong.

00:08:36.000 I believe women are mentally stronger than men.

00:08:38.000 That's why a lot of men commit suicide. 0.97

00:08:40.000 A lot of women, they're not. 1.00

00:08:41.000 So you're-

00:08:42.000 I wish I was mentally strong.

00:08:43.000 Emotionally, is a woman equal to you or nothing? 1.00

00:08:47.000 Emotionally, a woman's not equal to you. 1.00

00:08:49.000 Women- 1.00

00:08:50.000 No, physically.

00:08:51.000 No, no.

00:08:52.000 Women tend to be more emotional. 1.00

00:08:53.000 Men from Mars and women from whatever, you know?

00:08:55.000 Venus.

00:08:56.000 Venus, yeah.

00:08:57.000 So don't try to-

00:08:58.000 I'm from the moon.

00:08:59.000 To say something which is not-

00:09:00.000 Academically, right?

00:09:01.000 You try to defend Saudi Arabia. 0.79

00:09:02.000 Any more questions to start?

00:09:03.000 You have some-

00:09:04.000 No, you're not defending, not defending.

00:09:05.000 Okay, you have some really bad scholars as a Saudi Arabia. 1.00

00:09:07.000 Thank you.

00:09:08.000 You are not-

00:09:09.000 Thank you so much, Mr.

Ali Dawah - September 16, 2019

TRIPLE DIVORCE & SEXUAL INTIMACY IN ISLAM - ALI & TERESA - SPEAKERS CORNER

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