Bankas Podcast - 5 Forks and the Biggest Shows I've Done ｜ The Bankas Show - #064

00:00:00.360 Don't, don't inform them of the, ah!

00:00:11.080 Welcome to the Banker Show, Days In Edition.

00:00:16.780 Welcome to the Days In. 0.96

00:00:18.720 I really wish that I was drinking my coffee right now, but I just ashed in it, which sucks.

00:00:23.980 We are in Thunder Bay, Ontario, everybody.

00:00:27.520 The beautiful, uh, Northern Ontario City.

00:00:33.060 It's only an hour and 20 minute flight from Toronto, but it's a 14 hour drive.

00:00:39.460 I don't know, do the math on that.

00:00:40.860 I don't, that doesn't make sense to me, but we are here.

00:00:46.360 This is, uh, a little bit of the, you know what? 0.96

00:00:50.300 Talk all the shit you want about places like Thunder Bay, but these, these are the people who need a laugh. 0.98

00:00:56.420 Am I wrong? 0.99

00:00:57.440 These are the people who, oh yeah, they definitely need the laugh.

00:01:00.620 You know, they, they're still, it feels like it's still 2020 here. 0.99

00:01:03.940 They still have all the COVID shit up. 0.89

00:01:06.980 It's, um, you know, hotel selection's not great, but they're good crowds. 0.98

00:01:16.560 They really are.

00:01:17.460 We did some really good shows, guys.

00:01:19.220 Um, obviously if you're listening to the show for the first time, please like, and subscribe. 0.83

00:01:25.040 The, it's crazy how many of my fans will be like, dude, we fuck, come back soon. 0.72

00:01:30.060 I'm like, just watch my pod. 0.99

00:01:31.080 Like if you, you know what I mean?

00:01:32.500 Like if you miss me, I don't want to come back here.

00:01:34.980 Just watch the podcast.

00:01:35.920 We want you to come back.

00:01:39.260 No, I don't want to, uh, subscribe to the banking show and give me $5 on page.

00:01:43.520 But even, uh, you know, I do the meet, we've, you know, we do the meet and greets.

00:01:46.900 Do the eat and greets.

00:01:48.240 Yeah, we taught, last night we were talking about doing an eat and greet where I just sit

00:01:51.860 at a table in the restaurant bar where we did the show and I just order food while people

00:01:56.640 come up to the table and I just go, hey, you want a picture?

00:01:58.800 Yeah, I got a wing in my hand.

00:02:01.320 Um, I mean, it's kind of some really good shows since I last talked to you guys.

00:02:07.680 Toronto, we did three sold out shows at the Royal Theater in Toronto.

00:02:12.960 And the next step up from that is the Danforth Music Hall in Toronto, which seats, I think,

00:02:20.640 1500.

00:02:21.540 We did about 1200 tickets, three shows, 400 people a show. 0.95

00:02:26.100 Very fucking cool. 0.69

00:02:27.320 Thank you to everybody who came out. 0.98

00:02:29.260 It was a fun ass experience.

00:02:31.060 The first show, the first Wednesday show was a little, um, not as good as this Friday. 0.96

00:02:39.020 Why would you tell them that?

00:02:41.520 Thank you for, uh, everyone that came out except, uh, the people on Wednesday. 0.99

00:02:45.020 You guys, uh, kind of sucked.

00:02:47.040 No, I think there was just like a vibe in the room of, you know, everyone had to go to 0.99

00:02:50.980 work.

00:02:51.400 Yeah.

00:02:52.000 Hurry it up.

00:02:52.920 It's a Wednesday.

00:02:53.680 Do chow and get this. 0.99

00:02:55.420 That is funny.

00:02:56.300 I just, I got to wake up at 7 a.m.

00:02:58.100 Just do the ching, ching, bing, bang, and go home. 0.98

00:03:00.660 We got the ching, changs. 1.00

00:03:01.860 Go.

00:03:03.060 Like after the show, I don't know.

00:03:04.760 Some guy sent me a weird message and was just like, you did not seem like you were enjoying.

00:03:10.080 I don't know. 0.97

00:03:10.680 We, it was just like people just send me shit where it's like, you know, the show wasn't 0.95

00:03:15.340 perfect for them and their eyes. 0.98

00:03:16.680 Yeah. 0.98

00:03:16.880 They're like, some weirdo sends me a message, but it sucks for those people. 0.83

00:03:20.720 That's almost good though. 0.77

00:03:21.820 You'd almost rather like someone be like, my expectations are really high than be like, 1.00

00:03:26.300 fuck. 0.99

00:03:26.700 I didn't even think you were going to be funny up there and you really got me. 1.00

00:03:29.620 You know what I mean?

00:03:30.260 Like, yeah, you don't want those messages.

00:03:32.140 The first Toronto show was like, we just got back to Toronto.

00:03:35.020 We'd been in, like whenever you're in Austin or you're in the States and you know, you're,

00:03:39.960 you're doing comedy in the States.

00:03:41.520 It's what you have to switch gears to come back to Canada.

00:03:45.980 I think at least maybe the Americans don't do that as much because they're like, I don't 0.99

00:03:49.680 give a fuck, but we're from here. 1.00

00:03:51.700 We know how to kill here. 1.00

00:03:52.920 So I, I do feel like, well, especially for you, I'm changing my act.

00:03:56.480 My act is like a specific thing right now and we made it kind of the slightly more Canadian

00:04:01.800 friendly version.

00:04:04.000 And I think the early show Friday night was that we, you know, we filmed it really well.

00:04:09.880 That might be a comedy special because a lot of the material I've been doing, I haven't

00:04:16.140 even posted.

00:04:17.020 Like I've been posting a lot of crowd work clips, stuff from my last comedy special that

00:04:22.740 only came out like less than six months ago.

00:04:25.380 But, you know, I have the, I have the material.

00:04:27.940 I think it's also cool that if I have four comedy specials, there's some rule of four in

00:04:31.820 the universe, but there's four comedy specials and two of them are filmed at Yucks already.

00:04:37.440 And the other one was already filmed at Royal.

00:04:39.840 So that would be two and two. 0.98

00:04:42.160 So I think that that's like, it like faint forms like a fucking square. 0.98

00:04:46.640 And then, you know, you build off that kind of thing. 0.96

00:04:50.620 I know that sounds crazy, but you know what I mean?

00:04:52.600 Like, I know what you mean, but it's just funny the way that you're like, and then it

00:04:55.740 gets a square and then Joe Rogan gives you a phone call.

00:04:59.700 It's geometry.

00:05:00.700 There's, there's some geometry to comedy, but I thought it was like triangles, like triangles

00:05:04.160 are everywhere.

00:05:04.540 Like rule of threes.

00:05:05.700 I didn't know it was square.

00:05:07.000 Well, you got to get the threes on the side, the square in the middle. 0.99

00:05:09.500 That's like the fucking. 0.99

00:05:11.040 And then you get the star of David. 1.00

00:05:14.660 Nick Swanson takes you to sushi.

00:05:16.920 Hey.

00:05:22.200 Yeah.

00:05:23.720 No.

00:05:24.080 I do think it should be a comedy special.

00:05:28.040 It was a really good show.

00:05:29.280 The late show Friday, the Wednesday show was just, it was just like, maybe I was more in

00:05:34.720 like warmup mode because I knew we had so many shows and we just got to Canada.

00:05:38.440 Like we should have done like a small show first.

00:05:42.740 Yeah.

00:05:43.160 But it wasn't bad.

00:05:44.160 It wasn't bad at all.

00:05:45.060 It was like a really good show.

00:05:46.080 There's clips from it that have already done.

00:05:47.660 Like, yeah, it was a really good show.

00:05:50.240 It was just people had a weird energy at it.

00:05:53.760 It was a Wednesday night. 0.95

00:05:54.520 It was a Wednesday and they were just like, this better be fucking good because I had 1.00

00:05:57.420 to go through shit. 0.99

00:05:59.200 I feel like a lot of people, sometimes like the women like ruin the guy's night because 1.00

00:06:03.240 they exist.

00:06:05.020 They got mad or something or they're like, I didn't like him tonight.

00:06:09.000 I didn't like that.

00:06:09.900 And then the guy's got to be like, you know, he's messaging me because he's mad because

00:06:13.860 his girl's mad at him because he laughed. 1.00

00:06:16.200 He's got to send you a message threatening your life or else you can't get his dick 1.00

00:06:20.260 sucked. 1.00

00:06:21.140 Oh, that was the other message that I got after the Wednesday after the Wednesday weird 0.91

00:06:27.080 show that like that night when we went to.

00:06:29.140 Oh, yeah, I remember that we went to go get sued.

00:06:31.880 First of all, this one guy who was did the meet and greet waited to tell me that like

00:06:36.080 I was like all excited in my I didn't even tell anybody I was going to roll sand.

00:06:39.320 I guess we talked about on the podcast before, but I was like excited in my head.

00:06:43.320 I'm like, we're back going to roll sand.

00:06:45.200 You know, it's a good show.

00:06:47.040 This guy does the weights in the line for the meet and greet comes up to me.

00:06:49.980 He's like, yeah, we're all sins overrated.

00:06:51.640 Yeah, that was funny. 1.00

00:06:53.100 So that fucked with my head. 0.98

00:06:54.140 No, I don't want to buy a T-shirt and your restaurant plan. 0.99

00:06:56.820 Yeah, he literally was like, I don't want a T-shirt.

00:06:58.820 Anyway, yeah, don't go to roll sense overrated. 0.99

00:07:00.700 I was like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:07:01.640 Yeah. 0.99

00:07:02.320 And then we go to rules. 0.87

00:07:04.340 You know, we're on our way to roll sand already being like this is going to suck. 0.89

00:07:07.520 Yeah.

00:07:07.840 And I get a text from like, or like a DM from some random Indian guy being like, I'm going 0.99

00:07:13.240 to, I hope an Indian man puts a bullet in your head for the things you said about how 1.00

00:07:18.100 we are not good at making Tim Hortons raps. 1.00

00:07:21.900 You banjoed.

00:07:23.380 Because I had a clip from last week's podcast where I said that something about Indians

00:07:27.600 and Tim Hortons raps and they just went nuts.

00:07:29.920 I got all these like threats and stuff.

00:07:31.280 But anyway, then we went to roll sand and it was bad.

00:07:35.400 Was it bad?

00:07:36.460 Well, remember, it was just empty and it felt like they didn't want us there.

00:07:39.580 And then it was like $300 somehow.

00:07:41.560 We didn't even order that much food.

00:07:42.840 I think they just swindled us.

00:07:44.820 They just stole money from us. 1.00

00:07:46.420 It was fucked. 1.00

00:07:48.340 It was a bad experience. 1.00

00:07:49.760 But then Thursday we did Oshawa, two shows.

00:07:52.980 And for my American fans, some of these cities and towns, I know it just like upsets you to

00:07:56.840 hear the names, but these are real places.

00:07:59.240 I mean, it's just, it's like, you know, in the States, they got the Chattanoogas and

00:08:03.300 they got the whatever. 0.99

00:08:05.640 They got the, you know, all that shit out by Portland, Maine and random little towns. 1.00

00:08:11.660 Chattanooga. 1.00

00:08:12.800 What the fuck is that? 0.99

00:08:15.060 I'm going to be mad at Oshawa when you guys got cities like Chattanooga. 0.99

00:08:19.460 They have Chattanooga and they have the place I went, Rhode Island, which is, I guess Rhode

00:08:27.660 Island's a state. 0.99

00:08:28.500 What was the fucking city called? 1.00

00:08:29.840 Providence? 1.00

00:08:30.200 Providence.

00:08:31.640 That's nothing to, you know. 1.00

00:08:33.620 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:08:34.400 Shake a fist at. 1.00

00:08:35.560 Nothing about Rhode Island.

00:08:37.760 Oshawa, two sold out shows. 0.99

00:08:40.920 They fucking loved it. 0.99

00:08:42.340 It was a really good warm up. 0.99

00:08:43.600 Friday was, we knocked it out of the park.

00:08:47.880 It was great.

00:08:48.420 Two shows in Toronto.

00:08:49.380 Back to back.

00:08:52.980 And Saturday was amazing.

00:08:55.340 Oshawa.

00:08:55.880 I was feeling sick, though. 0.99

00:08:58.720 Because sometimes I do the meet and greet and if you don't fucking wash your hands right 0.99

00:09:03.420 away and you have a cigarette or something or you touch your, you just get sick. 0.99

00:09:07.180 Yeah.

00:09:07.340 In like 48 hours.

00:09:08.140 All your fans are unvaccinated, too.

00:09:11.480 Oh, yeah.

00:09:12.040 That's why.

00:09:12.580 No, it's just because they're all just, they're just disgust. 1.00

00:09:15.540 They're disgusting. 0.99

00:09:17.420 It's not that. 0.99

00:09:18.420 No, no, no.

00:09:18.860 It's not because they made a choice. 1.00

00:09:20.060 It's because of the fucking gross. 0.99

00:09:21.280 No, I mean, they're not like, you know, everybody's just been eating all night. 0.99

00:09:24.300 Well, you just can't shake 600 people's hands.

00:09:25.620 Yeah, their hands are, you know, it's not like they're like, okay, let's go to the washroom 0.99

00:09:29.060 and wash our hands before we go to the meet and greet, like, which I don't give a fuck. 0.97

00:09:32.480 But anyway, I got sick for a little bit and I was worried about the Ottawa show and got 0.98

00:09:40.240 to the hotel, had a bad hotel experience.

00:09:42.820 Yes, I've had a lot, actually in Toronto, I had a bad hotel experience, too.

00:09:46.640 Yeah.

00:09:47.120 My Nintendo Switch, which I just purchased, got stolen.

00:09:51.260 You think it got stolen by the guy that was, the Indian guy that was going to shoot you 1.00

00:09:55.020 in the head and then he just, he saw Mario Kart.

00:09:57.420 No, it was stolen by his mom who works at the hotel cleaning rooms and was wearing, there

00:10:03.020 was a woman wearing a hijab that I think took my, took the Switch, took my Switch to 1.00

00:10:07.840 Free Palestine. 0.77

00:10:08.500 So that kind of sucked, but I took that as God being like, you don't need to play Nintendo

00:10:14.340 because I had just started being like, oh, maybe I'll play this on the plane instead of

00:10:18.500 reading or writing.

00:10:20.140 And then God was like, give some random person this gift. 0.96

00:10:25.960 So that was shitty. 0.52

00:10:27.980 And then we go to the Ottawa, and for some reason I always, I've been doing this, I should

00:10:35.320 go, I got to just start staying in the same hotel as you, but I put him and the video

00:10:38.920 guy in a different hotel.

00:10:40.480 Yeah.

00:10:40.940 I tried to stay in a nicer hotel.

00:10:42.720 You know, and your hotel was just terrible.

00:10:44.220 But then mine was bad.

00:10:45.420 You had to like drive three kilometers to find parking.

00:10:48.580 It was the Chateau Laurier.

00:10:49.640 They made me park across the street in the National Arts Center in Ottawa, downtown, and

00:10:55.480 didn't tell me that the next day was this massive marathon.

00:10:58.200 Yeah.

00:10:58.620 So the whole street was shut down.

00:11:00.000 There was like no way to cross the street.

00:11:02.060 I mean, there was, but I was just freaking out.

00:11:04.540 They finally like showed me how to get across the street.

00:11:07.140 I had to find my car.

00:11:08.360 Then it was like the whole street was shut down where the hotel was.

00:11:12.480 So the cops were like, you can't go to the hotel.

00:11:14.140 So I had to get a bellboy to push, you know, the cart with all the stuff on it, like the

00:11:19.180 bell cart for the hotel.

00:11:21.520 And I had my family, I had my fiancee with me, kid, the baby carrot thing, two dogs.

00:11:29.500 Like it's just, I mean, I've been.

00:11:31.440 The worst experience.

00:11:32.320 It was horrible.

00:11:33.080 It was just awful.

00:11:34.240 And we had to walk through the crowds of people running and the cops and everything

00:11:38.840 to get to my illegally parked car on a random street that's also shut down.

00:11:42.760 But I somehow got on and the bellboy is like helping me.

00:11:47.200 And the bellboy was like this black guy who the night before like came into the room with 0.96

00:11:52.220 room service or some shit or, oh no, he brought the bags up. 0.97

00:11:56.220 Oh, but I was like already like naked or something like I was already just in my boxers like in 0.98

00:12:01.960 the room and like Cass is there and it's just like he was just a, he's just this black 1.00

00:12:06.860 guy bringing stuff in.

00:12:07.760 I'm like my boxers.

00:12:10.020 He's look, he's just, he's like, oh, you're, he's like, you're a comedian. 1.00

00:12:13.480 Fucking white people. 1.00

00:12:15.020 It's just three dogs. 1.00

00:12:16.360 My girl's like, he's a comedian.

00:12:17.640 And then he's like, oh, and then I'm just like, yeah.

00:12:22.200 Sorry.

00:12:22.680 He's like, you need to relax.

00:12:23.740 It was kind of nice though.

00:12:24.600 Cause he's like, you need to relax.

00:12:25.740 Like kind of being like, that was your wife.

00:12:27.740 You got to cheat on your wife. 1.00

00:12:29.740 He's just black. 1.00

00:12:30.580 Like you need a break from this. 0.98

00:12:32.580 It's just having a family.

00:12:35.480 Yeah. 0.99

00:12:35.900 The black, maybe that's why they say black don't crack because every black guy just like 1.00

00:12:40.540 they cheat. 1.00

00:12:41.560 They just cheat and abandon their kids. 1.00

00:12:43.260 They're like, fuck that. 1.00

00:12:44.560 Like, I don't need that stress. 1.00

00:12:46.680 I'm going to get some grays.

00:12:48.140 Whoa.

00:12:52.920 Look like Israel. 0.97

00:12:54.220 Idris Elba.

00:12:55.460 Idris Elba.

00:12:56.100 Yeah.

00:12:56.820 He's, you see, that's why he's so weathered.

00:12:58.600 Cause he's probably like a loyal husband.

00:13:00.380 Then you see Will Smith.

00:13:01.660 I thought you were saying the grays from cheating.

00:13:03.180 No, the grays that, no, that's from the stress of being a family man. 0.99

00:13:07.700 Yeah.

00:13:08.400 That's why Jamie Foxx looks so young.

00:13:10.620 No, I love bringing my whole family on the tour.

00:13:14.200 It's my favorite thing to do.

00:13:16.260 So much fun.

00:13:17.100 When I, when I see a bunch of, when I see a string of shows, the first thing I think

00:13:20.580 is my family needs to come to this.

00:13:22.300 I need to bring my, my two year old daughter.

00:13:24.620 Yeah.

00:13:25.340 My two year old daughter needs to see what the inside of every hotel room in Toronto. 0.99

00:13:30.780 Yeah.

00:13:31.220 Seriously.

00:13:32.320 She needs to know what the term hotwire.com means.

00:13:35.960 All right.

00:13:36.640 You're old enough to learn about booking.com.

00:13:40.720 Kid, today your father's going to teach you about Skyscanner.

00:13:44.060 So what you do, you're going to flight to Thunder Bay at 6 a.m.

00:13:50.060 So you're going to leave London at 2 a.m.

00:13:51.480 And then you're going to get to, uh, Thunder Bay, you leave at 930 at night because you

00:13:55.420 want to enjoy the city.

00:13:56.340 You want to see the sights.

00:13:58.480 Yeah.

00:13:58.860 Ben booked the, uh, I mean, he always books the flights and I was just booked the same

00:14:02.940 time as him for the tours.

00:14:04.140 And he always just booked, like we always get to a city way too early and leave way

00:14:08.540 too late.

00:14:09.000 Like San Diego, we got there at like 11 in the morning.

00:14:12.600 They're like, yeah, your room's not going to be ready for nine hours.

00:14:15.000 Like you guys have to just smoke weed in the parking lot.

00:14:18.020 We get to Thunder Bay at like nine in the morning.

00:14:22.000 We just have to go have like a, the guy.

00:14:24.660 Oh yeah.

00:14:24.920 We haven't even gotten to Thunder Bay.

00:14:26.560 Oh my God.

00:14:26.920 Thunder Bay.

00:14:27.680 Did anything happen between Ottawa and here or was Ottawa?

00:14:30.440 Kingston.

00:14:31.000 Oh yeah.

00:14:31.200 Kingston was kind of uneventful.

00:14:32.780 So Kingston, Ontario was fun.

00:14:34.940 Yeah.

00:14:35.100 It was just a solid two shows.

00:14:37.280 The fans were cool.

00:14:38.500 Yeah.

00:14:38.740 It's a chill town. 1.00

00:14:39.960 It's cool to see so many university students like, like digging my shit. 1.00

00:14:43.560 Yeah. 0.99

00:14:44.960 Especially in my like alma mater.

00:14:46.940 I'm like, these kids still got it.

00:14:48.460 Yeah.

00:14:48.660 These kids say the N-word in the dorm rooms.

00:14:50.420 You know, I used to do that.

00:14:52.020 I was just like you.

00:14:54.200 And I got a baby in my hotel room. 1.00

00:14:56.000 I'm fucking, I hate my life. 1.00

00:14:57.200 I want to kill myself. 1.00

00:14:59.320 You don't understand. 0.99

00:15:00.440 My opener's on Tinder in the other room.

00:15:09.600 I became famous.

00:15:10.740 I said, the first thing I got to do, I got to get a kid.

00:15:12.440 I got to have another kid.

00:15:17.600 Famous, I had a kid.

00:15:19.700 Yeah.

00:15:20.240 No.

00:15:21.520 Everything going according to plan.

00:15:22.920 But yeah, that's.

00:15:25.540 Yeah.

00:15:25.920 Kingston was sick.

00:15:26.720 That's nice that the kids are supporting the Chinese accent.

00:15:29.240 Oh yeah.

00:15:29.420 We were in London. 0.99

00:15:30.200 And other shit that we do. 0.99

00:15:31.600 That I do. 0.99

00:15:32.280 We were in London.

00:15:33.260 We completely skipped over.

00:15:36.180 We did London Youngs.

00:15:36.860 London, Ontario.

00:15:37.540 Oh yeah.

00:15:37.840 We did London Youngs.

00:15:39.220 That's when the girl got really mad. 1.00

00:15:41.700 Yeah.

00:15:41.860 That's when the wait.

00:15:42.340 You know, I knew that waitress was going to do that. 1.00

00:15:44.120 She always gives comic shit. 1.00

00:15:45.740 So like I had a feeling. 1.00

00:15:47.000 What the fuck is that? 0.99

00:15:47.380 Like it's crazy the difference in the States. 0.99

00:15:49.520 Yeah.

00:15:50.120 The level of.

00:15:52.420 We actually respect the talent.

00:15:54.240 Like how nice they are at the comedy clubs is crazy.

00:15:56.760 You go to a comedy club.

00:15:57.740 Even in Baltimore.

00:15:58.440 They're like anything you want in here.

00:16:00.440 I'm like, can I smoke in here?

00:16:01.500 They're like, it's your green room.

00:16:03.020 Yeah.

00:16:03.380 It's yours.

00:16:04.060 Do what you want.

00:16:04.520 Even the way they treat me.

00:16:05.360 Because it makes sense that they would treat you well.

00:16:07.020 Because you're bringing them business and selling out the clubs.

00:16:09.580 Even as just your opener.

00:16:10.980 They're like, are you okay?

00:16:12.460 Or even the local comics.

00:16:14.040 Yeah.

00:16:14.360 You know, I've had local comics in Baltimore came and opened or any of the other cities.

00:16:19.280 And they get the same treatment.

00:16:20.620 They get free food.

00:16:21.760 They get drinks.

00:16:22.820 They get whatever they want.

00:16:24.640 And there's no question.

00:16:25.880 There's no bill.

00:16:27.200 There's no.

00:16:27.500 Like every club here.

00:16:28.660 It's, you know, like great show.

00:16:30.380 Anyway, you owe me 300 bucks.

00:16:31.680 Yeah.

00:16:31.840 Literally.

00:16:32.360 Yeah. 1.00

00:16:32.560 It's fucked. 1.00

00:16:33.520 Yeah. 1.00

00:16:33.780 I mean, we're not drinking 300 bucks worth.

00:16:35.680 But sometimes when I bring my family, they either.

00:16:38.000 Well, they did that to us at a backroom comedy club is we sold that out.

00:16:41.440 And then like the next day when I was doing the math on the tickets, they were like, wow,

00:16:45.040 you actually had like six happy dads that were taking that out.

00:16:47.760 And I was like, yeah, but you weren't going to sell anything on this Wednesday anyway.

00:16:51.300 Just take that as a cost.

00:16:53.300 Which one?

00:16:54.520 The pop-up show that we did at backroom.

00:16:56.440 Oh, backroom.

00:16:57.800 Yeah.

00:16:58.200 Security had a couple happy dads.

00:16:59.920 Well, it's just because in Canada, like in the States, they're making that money every

00:17:04.540 week at the comedy club.

00:17:06.240 So it's like every week it's sold out.

00:17:07.600 But every week they have or they have like acts that almost sell out that do well.

00:17:12.160 Yeah.

00:17:12.780 You know, and there's just more money and they pay less taxes.

00:17:17.460 Right.

00:17:17.960 And then whereas here, it's like everything's penny pinched.

00:17:21.340 Yeah.

00:17:22.220 Realistically, 50 percent of all the profit is taxed.

00:17:25.240 They also have drink minimums at most comedy clubs in the States.

00:17:27.960 Which they don't here, which is illegal.

00:17:30.360 Oh, it's illegal to do?

00:17:31.120 I found that out like a couple months ago.

00:17:33.160 It's actually illegal in Canada to promote drinks like two for one or anything like that.

00:17:37.400 Don't they do that?

00:17:38.360 No, they used to have it at strip clubs, no?

00:17:41.400 It's an unwritten rule.

00:17:43.120 Wow.

00:17:43.540 They'll just ask you to leave if you don't have a drink.

00:17:46.000 But you know what I mean?

00:17:47.560 There's no sign that says.

00:17:49.000 Yeah.

00:17:49.220 You can't legally advertise anything along with alcohol.

00:17:52.620 You can have like dinner and food, but you can't have like. 0.99

00:17:55.880 It's weird the shit that they decide to make. 0.95

00:17:57.820 But anyway, so yeah, the American clubs, you're in the green room. 0.99

00:18:02.100 They come every 10 minutes to check on you.

00:18:05.400 Yeah.

00:18:05.780 And be like, how's it going?

00:18:06.940 Are you guys good in here?

00:18:07.860 Do you need anything?

00:18:08.660 Do you need any more waters?

00:18:09.660 Do you need any more drinks?

00:18:10.600 Do you like that drink? 0.99

00:18:11.440 Like they'll put three different types of fucking booze in your fridge and be like, 0.99

00:18:14.820 which one do you like? 0.99

00:18:15.560 We'll bring you more of that.

00:18:16.580 Like it's insane.

00:18:18.900 And even for just a show with 150 people, like we were doing five of them, but still.

00:18:25.520 And here, I mean, like some of the comedy clubs are just like barely functioning.

00:18:31.940 They have like, there's no food to order.

00:18:35.200 There's no, like they have like, like they have the 7-Eleven.

00:18:38.400 One of the comedy clubs here has the, you know, the hot dog roller from 7-Eleven.

00:18:44.060 They just have that.

00:18:45.040 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:18:45.820 The Burlington Club, they just have like that.

00:18:47.900 It's good hot dogs, but I know what you mean where it's like, when we were in San Diego,

00:18:51.780 the manager was like, I honestly think this is the best food in the city.

00:18:56.300 And honestly, like, it was actually pretty good.

00:18:59.280 Yeah, it was pretty good food.

00:19:00.520 It was like, it looked really good.

00:19:01.860 And then we ate it.

00:19:02.940 And I also ate, I also ate some brewery, but it's not even. 0.99

00:19:07.580 No, I also ate some fucking, some garbage earlier that day. 0.97

00:19:13.440 And remember when we were in San Diego and the guy comes in, the manager comes into the 0.99

00:19:19.280 green room and I'm like, we just finished eating this food that he's like building it

00:19:25.260 up like all day.

00:19:25.980 He's like, you gotta try it.

00:19:26.940 It's like a steak dinner, basically.

00:19:28.660 Yeah, he gave it.

00:19:29.360 He's like.

00:19:29.960 And then we ate.

00:19:31.420 He comes in and he's like, so how was the food?

00:19:34.600 The food was good, huh?

00:19:35.700 And then Ben's like, yeah, yeah, give me a minute. 1.00

00:19:37.620 And he's like disappearing into the green room's bathroom to take a stinky shit. 0.99

00:19:43.020 It's just like the manager keeps hyping up the food. 0.99

00:19:45.520 He's so excited to be like, do you guys like it?

00:19:48.100 And Ben's like, it was great. 0.97

00:19:49.240 I gotta go shit it out. 0.99

00:19:51.680 Yeah, it was like, I think I was in the shitter and I like had my pants pulled down. 0.99

00:19:56.940 The door was closed and I was like, thank you.

00:19:59.340 You know, yeah.

00:20:00.500 Like, yeah, that night staff kept coming in like, where's Mr. Bankus?

00:20:04.640 And I'm like, oh, he's taking care of some business.

00:20:10.780 He's making some of these calls on his agents.

00:20:12.920 He's doing good and making some calls. 0.99

00:20:14.820 It's just shitty. 0.98

00:20:15.980 They don't understand. 0.97

00:20:17.000 They think like most comics are like, so I'm in the green room.

00:20:20.560 He was doing coke after the show. 1.00

00:20:21.840 It's like Ben Bankus is just taking a bad shit. 0.99

00:20:29.100 We're cutting that out. 1.00

00:20:31.300 Don't let the fans know I take bad shit. 0.99

00:20:33.500 Yeah, it's not necessary. 1.00

00:20:37.460 I mean, everybody shits, no. 1.00

00:20:42.960 You don't think of shit? 1.00

00:20:47.360 Indians shit. 1.00

00:20:49.020 Shit on a beach. 1.00

00:20:51.260 Is it better in the green room? 1.00

00:20:53.960 Do you have a beach for me to shit in? 0.98

00:20:55.700 Do you mind driving me to the San Diego Bay? 1.00

00:20:59.860 I'm going to take a shit. 0.99

00:21:03.220 Oh, San Diego is so much better than being at Thunder Bay. 1.00

00:21:06.220 But the crowds are good here.

00:21:10.000 And eventually we will.

00:21:11.100 They have a 1500 seater.

00:21:12.560 I want to do it in Thunder Bay.

00:21:14.040 It's a good extra goal to have.

00:21:19.880 I would do it.

00:21:20.880 I mean, yeah, obviously.

00:21:22.580 It's just funny to think. 0.80

00:21:23.700 When I'm doing a big ass venue in Toronto or something. 0.67

00:21:30.920 You know? 0.75

00:21:31.340 Yeah.

00:21:31.960 5,000, 10,000.

00:21:33.500 You think he's excited to do Scotiabank? 1.00

00:21:35.240 Fuck that. 1.00

00:21:35.720 No, I want to do the Thunder Bay. 1.00

00:21:39.660 The Thunder Bay atrium.

00:21:41.740 I think it's called the Auditorium.

00:21:43.120 Auditorium.

00:21:43.640 Which is such a bad name.

00:21:45.680 They're like, we've had everybody here.

00:21:47.000 We've had Russell Beatus.

00:21:48.040 We've had Chris D'Elia.

00:21:49.100 And that's it.

00:21:50.400 Yeah, it is crazy to think.

00:21:52.360 Chris D'Elia was like just here.

00:21:53.240 I bet Whitney Cummings comes here. 0.99

00:21:54.900 She probably does that theater. 1.00

00:21:56.200 Who?

00:21:56.700 Whitney Cummings.

00:21:57.560 Probably, yeah.

00:21:58.260 She's got like a million followers.

00:21:59.500 Yeah.

00:22:01.100 People come to these places.

00:22:02.820 That's something I was telling Armin,

00:22:04.020 which is really interesting about comedy is

00:22:06.040 when you first start and you go to these 1.00

00:22:08.060 like shitty fucking cities, 1.00

00:22:09.760 like if you're from Toronto or something, 1.00

00:22:12.260 or you're from New York,

00:22:13.020 and then all of a sudden you're going to,

00:22:14.360 and at first you're like,

00:22:15.360 I guess I won't always have to come here.

00:22:17.140 Like eventually I'll,

00:22:17.840 and then it's like, no, no,

00:22:18.600 you always have to come to Thunder Bay,

00:22:21.060 Ontario for the rest of your life.

00:22:22.540 You always have to go to London, Ontario.

00:22:24.180 Yeah.

00:22:24.500 Even Tom Segura is doing London, Ontario.

00:22:27.260 You just do bigger and bigger venues.

00:22:29.320 Yeah.

00:22:29.580 If they have a small venue in a town or a city,

00:22:34.020 to do comedy,

00:22:35.260 that means that they have an appetite for comedy 0.99

00:22:37.020 and they could do like a fucking, 0.99

00:22:38.420 as big as it gets. 0.99

00:22:39.220 Exactly.

00:22:39.540 Which is crazy,

00:22:40.420 but it's the truth.

00:22:41.520 Yeah.

00:22:43.760 It's my bread and butter.

00:22:46.320 Thunder Bay.

00:22:49.560 It's the bread and butter, kid.

00:22:51.240 Sarnia.

00:22:54.800 Think I want to do New York? 1.00

00:22:56.100 Fuck that shit. 1.00

00:22:56.820 I'm trying to do a theater in South Collingwood. 1.00

00:22:59.820 This is how it starts, kid.

00:23:09.080 And you do ACC and then you don't have to do anything else.

00:23:11.640 You just do ACC.

00:23:12.520 I do that.

00:23:13.060 I'm like, look, we're going to the auditorium.

00:23:14.800 It would be really funny to see you like eventually do ACC

00:23:18.560 and just go on stage and read off your phone the whole time. 0.99

00:23:22.380 Just fucking, just open mic. 0.99

00:23:28.420 Comedy night featuring. 1.00

00:23:34.140 Why would you say that?

00:23:35.520 Why would you say such a horrific thing?

00:23:39.440 What?

00:23:39.800 To have you sell out an entire stadium to be like,

00:23:43.340 I just want to try some stuff out here, guys.

00:23:46.580 It's kind of funny.

00:23:50.360 Shane Gillis did that.

00:23:52.680 Yeah.

00:23:53.580 Shane Gillis got on stage.

00:23:54.600 He was like, brought his notebook.

00:23:56.880 Did he?

00:23:57.400 No, of course not.

00:23:58.740 Just saying.

00:23:59.240 It'd be kind of funny.

00:24:01.700 Anyway.

00:24:02.740 No.

00:24:03.800 Let me hit that. 0.54

00:24:09.300 Kid.

00:24:09.800 You're going to learn something about marketing. 0.97

00:24:13.520 You were right about the Muslims not being good at marketing. 1.00

00:24:20.360 Yeah, guys. 1.00

00:24:21.120 Picture Ben Bank is taking a shit and him bombing the biggest show of his life. 0.99

00:24:25.660 You like that? 1.00

00:24:26.660 You don't get it?

00:24:27.740 It's a comedy podcast.

00:24:29.460 It's a joke.

00:24:29.980 No, I know.

00:24:30.700 It's funny.

00:24:31.580 That's actual torment.

00:24:32.720 You're spoiling what's actually going to happen. 1.00

00:24:35.120 What the fuck? 0.99

00:24:37.460 You're ruining the surprise. 1.00

00:24:38.640 Guys, it would be fucking hilarious. 0.80

00:24:42.040 I mean, even just as like a sketch, like after the show to be like, guys, I just want 0.90

00:24:45.400 to do a little tick tock. 0.99

00:24:46.440 And it's just you in the biggest stadium being like, oh, fuck, no, that's not good. 1.00

00:24:51.820 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:24:52.380 I think that fucking I'd laugh at that. 1.00

00:24:58.020 That's the future of comedy. 0.99

00:24:59.720 It kind of is comedy right now.

00:25:01.460 Yeah.

00:25:01.640 I mean, we should get back in the real estate.

00:25:08.860 You're making it seem like I read off the phone all the time.

00:25:11.060 I honestly want to do shows where I only get to like, like, I just organize a bunch of

00:25:25.020 shit and I just read it off because I'm going to like, I kind of have to do that.

00:25:29.420 What do you mean? 0.98

00:25:29.740 Just like to work out new bits.

00:25:31.040 Like, I see certain comics, they're selling out weekends being like new comedy night.

00:25:37.380 Right.

00:25:37.500 Like new comedy.

00:25:40.160 Like, you know, it's me working on bits.

00:25:42.700 You think are those comics that like do theaters in those cities, though?

00:25:45.920 Or they're just like, like Samarillo.

00:25:48.560 Yeah.

00:25:49.460 Yeah.

00:25:49.620 That is like the next step.

00:25:50.800 You should do that like a yuck. 0.99

00:25:52.040 Like, I feel like I could do a yucks.

00:25:54.080 Well, I think the shows in Niagara Falls, I might have to just be like, those are all new

00:25:59.800 years, though.

00:26:00.440 No, it's afternoon before New Year's 28th and 29th.

00:26:04.020 Oh, OK.

00:26:04.460 OK.

00:26:05.860 Happy New Year.

00:26:06.660 I'm working on bits.

00:26:08.160 New Year.

00:26:08.680 New jokes.

00:26:12.400 Well, if I put out the special in like, well, yeah, 20 days, I kind of want to just straight 1.00

00:26:17.960 up just fuck yourself and then force yourself to write. 1.00

00:26:20.400 Yeah. 1.00

00:26:20.720 Yeah.

00:26:23.020 Why not?

00:26:25.380 I mean, yeah, definitely.

00:26:26.580 You should do something like that.

00:26:27.640 I think it keeps people fresh.

00:26:28.960 Like, the audience fresh, too, because then it's like, like, it starts out with you have

00:26:36.340 20, 30 minutes of stuff and then, you know, you're doing crowd work and then the crowd

00:26:41.760 work, you get more material from that, you know.

00:26:45.860 Right. 0.78

00:26:46.520 And then you just slowly build until you're able to fucking do a 45 to an hour of just 0.80

00:26:55.540 straight material, which is a lot of the shows that I did recently. 0.90

00:26:59.860 I did like almost zero crowd work and people.

00:27:02.620 I don't know if people realize that. 0.99

00:27:03.800 Like, I don't do crowd work just to fuck around. 0.99

00:27:08.120 Usually, sometimes I do. 0.99

00:27:09.480 I did on that Wednesday night because there was people in the front row and they were just

00:27:13.940 like, come on, come on.

00:27:14.860 I'm like, yeah, sometimes your fans want it.

00:27:16.880 Yeah.

00:27:18.220 Which is good.

00:27:19.540 It's less funny, though.

00:27:21.260 You think so?

00:27:22.820 Sometimes.

00:27:23.300 If they want to be made fun of.

00:27:24.860 Oh, yeah.

00:27:25.540 That.

00:27:25.960 Yeah.

00:27:26.200 Yeah.

00:27:26.380 Yeah.

00:27:26.520 I thought you just meant crowd work in general.

00:27:27.820 Yeah.

00:27:27.980 No.

00:27:28.180 It's always annoying when it's like, come on, roast me.

00:27:30.480 And it's like the funnier thing to do is just funny when it becomes like part of the

00:27:34.600 show or yeah, like that one chick was that. 1.00

00:27:38.180 What was it?

00:27:38.820 I don't want to spoil it, but that one chick on Friday, those boyfriend was in the washroom. 1.00

00:27:43.380 She was like a bartender. 1.00

00:27:44.500 You were like ripping on her pretty hard.

00:27:45.960 Oh, yeah.

00:27:46.340 That was funny.

00:27:47.460 Yeah.

00:27:47.700 That'll be a good clip.

00:27:48.860 That was funny.

00:27:52.300 My trusty sidekick.

00:27:55.060 The sidekick who wants to be the front kick.

00:28:00.080 Yeah.

00:28:00.460 I'm your opener here.

00:28:01.300 I'm going to go as hard as I possibly can.

00:28:03.300 What do you want me to do Shane Gillis's opener and bomb?

00:28:07.580 Yeah.

00:28:07.760 Well, do you think he's doing that on purpose?

00:28:09.760 No.

00:28:10.180 Apparently there was just audio problems.

00:28:12.120 I was like reading about it and like a lot of people were like, yeah, ACC is usually pretty

00:28:16.060 bad for events unless like they put a lot of money into the sound.

00:28:21.320 Huh?

00:28:21.760 Yeah.

00:28:22.100 Like apparently they just weren't prepared and it was like the most seats they've ever

00:28:24.960 sold.

00:28:25.360 So like it was probably like yucks London and ACC. 1.00

00:28:29.760 They were just like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:28:30.800 Like it's kind of funny that I saw that. 1.00

00:28:33.060 So he had that sick ass post where it was like 20, you know, most people ever at Scotiabank 0.99

00:28:38.860 and they like gave him an award and shit. 1.00

00:28:40.540 And I was like, yo, fuck. 1.00

00:28:41.620 I'm fucking jealous. 1.00

00:28:43.180 Straight up. 0.99

00:28:43.900 I know.

00:28:44.420 I just watched it. 1.00

00:28:45.260 I'd be like, fuck. 1.00

00:28:46.000 Okay. 0.99

00:28:46.420 I got to do two shows there.

00:28:47.720 I know.

00:28:48.000 It does kind of hurt.

00:28:48.720 Or I was thinking like, oh, I got to stand in front of the Rogers Center, like the baseball

00:28:52.280 diamond and be like, hey, Shane, that is a perform at the Rogers.

00:28:56.440 I do. 1.00

00:28:57.060 I do think it's really funny for you to be like, fuck it. 1.00

00:28:59.440 I'm doing the baseball just in the middle of a baseball diamond. 1.00

00:29:03.300 Oh, you go with a rap display.

00:29:04.840 I go with the Argos play. 0.99

00:29:07.140 You know, the I ever heard of the fucking Toronto Argos? 0.99

00:29:11.000 For the Raptors play. 0.99

00:29:12.100 Listen, Shane Gillis.

00:29:13.440 TFC.

00:29:14.120 You like football?

00:29:15.400 We only got three downs.

00:29:17.480 All right. 0.88

00:29:17.780 We got every black player that got hurt last year. 0.97

00:29:22.180 Every guy that got arrested for beating the wife. 0.97

00:29:24.540 We come play for the Argos.

00:29:28.200 You got caught?

00:29:29.400 Oh, man.

00:29:30.100 Yeah.

00:29:30.260 So, but yeah, then I saw Maniscalco posted or got one posted for the L.A.

00:29:38.320 You did the forum?

00:29:39.740 Yeah.

00:29:40.160 Yeah.

00:29:40.780 Or Wells Fargo or something.

00:29:43.100 I don't know.

00:29:44.420 I know they have the forum, which is where the Lakers used to play.

00:29:47.040 I forget which one it was.

00:29:48.020 I think maybe it was the forum, but it was like, it was kind of like, oh, now everybody's

00:29:52.120 going to post this.

00:29:53.020 No, Wells Fargo.

00:29:53.780 Shane also, that was the, Shane also did that, I think.

00:29:55.940 No, Maniscalco.

00:29:56.820 I think it might have been the forum.

00:29:58.080 Oh.

00:29:58.600 Probably.

00:29:59.240 It was LA.

00:29:59.460 Most people for a live event or something.

00:30:01.620 And, you know.

00:30:03.880 Anyway. 0.99

00:30:04.320 I want that fucking post. 0.99

00:30:05.660 I know. 1.00

00:30:06.400 It's crazy. 1.00

00:30:07.320 I want that fucking post, man. 1.00

00:30:09.460 I feel like you will be shady. 0.99

00:30:10.520 But yeah, the Rogers Center would be so funny to perform at.

00:30:13.100 Just one guy.

00:30:13.840 There's so many floor seats.

00:30:15.440 Yeah.

00:30:15.760 Like, nobody would be able to see anything.

00:30:17.360 It would be a bad show.

00:30:18.780 But it'd be so bad that it'd be, like, really good. 0.99

00:30:21.220 Well, Ben Biggs at the Rogers Center was fucking. 1.00

00:30:23.860 What the fuck was that? 1.00

00:30:24.420 It would be funnier than ACC. 1.00

00:30:26.040 It would be.

00:30:26.740 It'd be funnier after the fact for when people leave and they're just like. 0.97

00:30:29.760 Or it'd be funny because I could do shit like, all right, close the dome. 0.93

00:30:32.900 All right, open it. 0.98

00:30:33.720 I mean, that would be.

00:30:36.480 No, I want the dome open for this bit. 1.00

00:30:40.480 Fuck. 1.00

00:30:41.040 I gave it away. 1.00

00:30:42.460 I saw that one podcast three years ago. 0.99

00:30:45.220 Ruined your whole opening bit at the fucking Rogers Center. 0.98

00:30:48.580 All right, open the dome. 0.99

00:30:50.240 The Iron Dome.

00:30:53.780 Ben Banker.

00:30:54.600 The most Jewish comedy show at the Rogers Center.

00:30:57.700 I was thinking if you just went back to Bickford Park for no reason. 1.00

00:31:01.280 Fuck. 1.00

00:31:02.300 Pop-up show. 1.00

00:31:03.720 Budweiser stage.

00:31:05.980 No, they can't.

00:31:06.800 No, Budweiser would be terrible.

00:31:08.680 You can have people.

00:31:09.340 Yeah, you can have people on the grass.

00:31:11.460 Yeah, that'd be. 1.00

00:31:11.840 People lying down and being like, fucking, this sucks. 1.00

00:31:15.680 Chinese accent's funnier than when I'm in a chair. 1.00

00:31:20.580 You can't lie.

00:31:21.500 It would be really funny if everyone.

00:31:23.200 That would be the closest thing to Bickford.

00:31:24.620 If your whole audience was, like, on their stomach.

00:31:28.500 Put it out.

00:31:28.900 And then you tell them at one point to turn over.

00:31:32.100 They're smoking a filter.

00:31:33.720 Where'd they get the bang for my buck?

00:31:37.140 Yeah, we're just straight up smoking at the Days Inn. 0.99

00:31:39.200 We don't give a fuck about that. 0.97

00:31:39.820 Yeah, I mean, it's... 0.99

00:31:41.020 It's a Days Inn.

00:31:41.640 Armand made a little meme about smoking in here.

00:31:45.460 It's just kind of funny.

00:31:46.440 I can't post that.

00:31:47.520 I might collab on you on that one.

00:31:50.820 Kid, post it.

00:31:51.580 I'll collab it.

00:31:52.040 It's crazy how little some people know about social media.

00:31:58.080 Like, kudos to them.

00:31:59.420 Like, their life is, I guess, better.

00:32:01.280 Yeah.

00:32:01.860 But also not because they're just, like, out of the loop.

00:32:04.920 But, like, people will take a picture with me and then post a picture, like, on their,

00:32:09.780 like, actual posts.

00:32:11.520 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:32:12.200 And then go to, like, collab. 0.98

00:32:13.600 Like, as if I'm just going to have a picture with me and a random guy on my fucking profile. 0.93

00:32:17.000 I mean, like, honestly, that would be kind of funny if you have, like, here's a viral 0.97

00:32:20.800 stand-up clip and then here's just a guy in Sarnia. 1.00

00:32:23.820 So fucked. 1.00

00:32:24.640 That's so stupid. 1.00

00:32:28.080 I tried to post something today and I did it as a story post. 1.00

00:32:31.380 It didn't work as a regular post.

00:32:33.240 What was it?

00:32:33.680 When I took the picture of the guy at Tim Hortons with the mascot.

00:32:36.200 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:32:37.080 Because before I took a picture of a guy working at a subway, but that picture was just way

00:32:40.680 funnier.

00:32:41.260 I forgot. 0.69

00:32:41.920 The Indian guy with the weird. 1.00

00:32:42.860 Oh, yeah, with the fucking mask on his head. 1.00

00:32:45.720 So I thought it'd be funny to do that again, but it was. 1.00

00:32:50.240 Sometimes I just don't go.

00:32:51.520 Like, sometimes you post something on Instagram and it's like, you know, three people liked

00:32:56.280 it in five minutes.

00:32:57.200 You're like, this is bad.

00:32:58.400 This is bad.

00:32:59.800 There's no way.

00:33:01.740 Because you also think about because anytime you post something, people see posted five

00:33:05.580 minutes ago and then that's what they look at.

00:33:07.300 The first thing you look at is when was it posted?

00:33:09.600 How many likes does it have?

00:33:11.120 That just might be us, though.

00:33:12.520 You think?

00:33:13.220 Yeah, because we're like comparing ourselves to everyone.

00:33:16.780 We're like in our heads, like you only got 200 likes in three hours.

00:33:20.340 That's what I mean.

00:33:21.900 Like, I think regular people, regular people definitely look at the likes and then they

00:33:26.380 look at the thing itself.

00:33:27.480 I mean, I don't know.

00:33:28.300 I was a regular person once.

00:33:29.560 That's what people do.

00:33:30.360 They look at the people don't watch YouTube videos with 15 views being like, why is this

00:33:34.500 terrible?

00:33:35.000 I don't get it.

00:33:35.680 I was a regular person once.

00:33:38.600 He's not flying to follow us.

00:33:41.480 I used to be on private.

00:33:44.980 But yeah, I guess you're right.

00:33:47.620 Sometimes those are the best ones.

00:33:48.860 That is a pretty cool thing and I should be, I'm like pretty proud of myself of like

00:33:52.440 just how far, you know, we're still in Thunder Bay, but yeah, but you're selling out Thunder

00:34:00.340 Bay. 0.99

00:34:00.680 It's not like, oh, fuck. 1.00

00:34:02.560 Yeah. 0.99

00:34:02.960 Doing a weird gig.

00:34:04.500 Yeah.

00:34:05.280 Yeah.

00:34:05.800 It's, it's nice. 0.99

00:34:08.380 The Ottawa show was fucking sick. 0.99

00:34:10.400 Yeah. 0.98

00:34:10.560 That was probably like one of the best shows I think we've ever done just because of like

00:34:13.720 how many people were there and how hype it was.

00:34:16.460 It was a wild show.

00:34:19.400 I wonder what the step up from that is in Ottawa.

00:34:23.400 We'll probably, I feel like we'll do that one again.

00:34:26.060 You might just do two shows there.

00:34:27.240 Yeah.

00:34:27.600 Two at Bronson next time.

00:34:29.080 And then after that, I don't know the theater, but there's probably like a 1500.

00:34:34.300 Yeah.

00:34:34.920 2000 seat.

00:34:35.840 I miss being in the States, but I also like being a candidate.

00:34:39.560 We're going to play where the senators play Americans like Canada. 0.96

00:34:42.620 They, I mean, you know, they do.

00:34:45.120 They just don't respect us doing comedy here is worse in, in the sense that nobody really 0.98

00:34:51.520 gives a fuck that you're a comedian. 0.98

00:34:53.100 Yeah. 1.00

00:34:54.080 Whereas in the States are like, you're, you're the reason that we're selling tickets.

00:34:58.320 They kind of realize that.

00:34:59.420 Whereas here they're like, oh yeah, you guys got to go on stage. 1.00

00:35:01.820 Will we bring the fucking shitty chicken? 0.99

00:35:03.480 It's like a novelty almost because there's not as many people that sell tickets here. 1.00

00:35:07.500 We had the most disgusting soup last night.

00:35:09.560 It was, you want to talk about the soup?

00:35:11.500 I want to talk about the soup.

00:35:12.660 The restaurant that we're performing at in Thunder Bay is called five forks, which we've

00:35:18.900 been making jokes all week.

00:35:20.160 Like, oh yeah, there was the microphone didn't work.

00:35:23.480 So we had to use a second mic.

00:35:24.660 So we're like five forks, two mics.

00:35:26.180 I know.

00:35:26.320 And then the owner of the venue is a really sweet guy, but he like got us too many rooms.

00:35:30.760 Oh yeah.

00:35:31.120 He's like three rooms, five forks, two mics, one show.

00:35:34.880 It's just like two soups.

00:35:37.920 So last night after the show, he was like, yo, you guys have free reign in the menu.

00:35:42.600 Get whatever you want.

00:35:45.560 So we finished the gig, right?

00:35:47.480 Do the meet and greet.

00:35:48.680 And then Ben's like, the meet and greet was more like being at the Salvation Army.

00:35:53.600 Yeah.

00:35:53.740 So it was kind of like, come look at Ben Banker, smoke a cigarette.

00:35:57.560 No, I felt bad for the one guy who was, I don't know if he was just so drunk that he

00:36:00.680 sounded like he had ALS.

00:36:02.400 Yeah.

00:36:02.760 Yeah.

00:36:03.020 There was one guy that was like, I saw Chris Delia last week.

00:36:06.280 Now I'm seeing you guys.

00:36:08.100 I mean, life is unreal, man.

00:36:11.460 It's like, I listen to the podcast and I'm like, these guys are sort of funny.

00:36:15.620 And you see them live.

00:36:16.640 You're like, whoa.

00:36:18.160 I'm like, all right.

00:36:18.980 Like, you're insulting me and your compliment. 1.00

00:36:21.220 You guys were actually shit. 1.00

00:36:22.640 Anyway, I have really bad brain damage. 1.00

00:36:24.820 I know.

00:36:25.220 I know, but yeah, no.

00:36:27.160 So after we got dinner and Ben was like, give us 15 wings in the dining room area.

00:36:32.720 Two soups.

00:36:33.700 15 wings, two soups.

00:36:35.080 And then this guy brought us these like roasted red pepper cream soups and there was

00:36:40.320 like cheese in it, but we thought it was a racer for like five minutes. 0.99

00:36:43.660 Tasted like fucking rubber, dude. 0.99

00:36:45.080 It literally tasted like the end of a pencil. 0.99

00:36:46.900 Like, I still feel sick right now from it.

00:36:48.980 Yeah.

00:36:50.100 Then we got the old school burger.

00:36:52.060 And a lot of the fans are like, why can't you just eat properly on tour?

00:36:54.940 It's like, what options do we have?

00:36:57.060 I'd have to rent a car probably and then be going to the grocery store. 0.97

00:37:01.960 Eventually, I'll probably have to do shit like that. 0.96

00:37:03.880 Probably. 0.99

00:37:05.280 You try.

00:37:05.800 We tried that in. 0.99

00:37:07.600 We ate it in like five minutes and then fucking ordered food. 0.99

00:37:10.900 I know. 0.99

00:37:11.160 Well, you to be fair, the groceries you got were two salads and 45 lemons and limes.

00:37:15.460 You were like, why do we have no food?

00:37:17.080 I spent $300 on groceries.

00:37:19.120 Look at the economy.

00:37:20.520 I mean, you see, this is why inflation is a problem.

00:37:24.940 The lemons and limes are like $10.

00:37:26.820 I know.

00:37:27.260 They're all rotten.

00:37:29.120 You kept trying to have your, because you always like to have lemon and lime water in

00:37:32.940 the morning. 0.99

00:37:33.680 This guy's trying to cut a lemon with a fucking toothpaste. 1.00

00:37:36.280 You're lucky you got a mentor. 0.99

00:37:44.620 They'll teach you things like this.

00:37:45.920 You get lemons and limes.

00:37:47.020 Now go to sleep.

00:37:48.220 Hey, go to your room.

00:37:51.600 You better not be wandering around this day's in.

00:37:54.240 Oh, yeah.

00:37:54.800 That's...

00:37:55.280 I don't like that.

00:37:56.920 This guy wanders at night.

00:37:59.820 I just go for walks.

00:38:01.540 It's not normal.

00:38:03.140 Yeah, I like to go for a little walk.

00:38:04.800 At that time?

00:38:05.880 Take a lay of the...

00:38:06.500 Well, I just go for a dart and I end up...

00:38:08.060 I don't just stand in one place.

00:38:10.120 I just wander around.

00:38:11.500 All right.

00:38:12.200 Taking the sights.

00:38:14.280 Guys, you got to find your happiness where you can.

00:38:16.940 I'm jealous of female comics because their social media, they can just post, just look 1.00

00:38:28.300 good in a picture and it's like a thousand likes and then you swipe and it's like ticket

00:38:32.660 sales.

00:38:33.260 Yeah. 1.00

00:38:34.280 It's like, fuck. 1.00

00:38:35.000 If I just post a picture of me and then swipe, people will be like, the fuck? 1.00

00:38:39.220 Yeah. 1.00

00:38:40.160 That's you.

00:38:40.740 I know.

00:38:41.200 I know.

00:38:41.840 It's because they're attractive.

00:38:43.880 You know what I mean?

00:38:44.260 I literally have to stand next to a celebrity to get as many likes as just like any...

00:38:48.740 It's me and Jordan Peterson.

00:38:52.000 I know. 0.93

00:38:52.900 You literally have to have like a one in 100,000 fucking opportunity to just post one photo. 1.00

00:39:00.740 Whereas every other female comic can be like, here's my ass. 1.00

00:39:03.960 Come to Tempe Improv. 1.00

00:39:06.140 Yeah.

00:39:08.000 Well, everybody's having fun at Skank Fest and we're in Thunder Bay, Ontario.

00:39:12.900 The real Skank Fest.

00:39:14.660 Is Skank Fest...

00:39:15.220 I don't know.

00:39:16.180 Is that fun?

00:39:17.220 Zach Amico with the painted face and...

00:39:21.100 I mean, that sounds kind of fun.

00:39:22.620 Yeah?

00:39:23.060 I mean, like, I wouldn't be at Skank Fest pissed off.

00:39:27.300 No. 0.99

00:39:27.660 I wouldn't be like, fuck, I'm doing Skank Fest. 1.00

00:39:30.240 I'd be like, this is sick. 0.99

00:39:30.940 I took my girl there when we first started dating to the one in Houston.

00:39:35.000 She was just like, this just seems like all guys that hang out in the basement.

00:39:38.580 I mean...

00:39:38.860 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:39:39.480 I mean, Skank Fest is like, if you're a girl and you like Skank Fest, it's fucked up. 1.00

00:39:43.520 You got molested. 1.00

00:39:45.080 It's dark. 0.99

00:39:46.940 Skank Fest is for the boys.

00:39:49.540 You can't...

00:39:50.420 Oh, I took my girl on vacation.

00:39:52.000 We went to Skank Fest.

00:39:54.580 Guys do it, though.

00:39:55.680 I mean, there are chicks who are like... 1.00

00:39:57.140 Chicks who are into Kill Tony. 1.00

00:39:58.500 Have you not seen that clip of the guy that proposed to his girl on Legion of Skanks and 0.98

00:40:03.000 then Ari Shaffir just puts his nuts on the back of his head while he's proposing to 1.00

00:40:07.320 his girl. 0.94

00:40:07.680 She's like crying, being like, yes, yes. 1.00

00:40:10.480 Ari Shaffir's like rubbing his dick on his head. 1.00

00:40:13.700 It's fucking hilarious. 1.00

00:40:16.720 It's beautiful. 0.99

00:40:18.260 It's a beautiful thing.

00:40:19.640 But yeah, I would do it.

00:40:21.160 Yeah, of course.

00:40:21.680 You should do it.

00:40:22.600 I would do it.

00:40:24.380 Send in a tape.

00:40:25.880 Lewis, I don't know if I can do it.

00:40:27.160 I'm going to be in Thunder Bay.

00:40:29.540 I don't know if I want to headline your festival.

00:40:32.020 I mean, they got to do Collingwood.

00:40:34.540 We want to do Skank Fest and Sonya.

00:40:37.940 Skank Fest.

00:40:38.420 Owen Sound.

00:40:41.860 Skank Fest, Windsor.

00:40:44.180 It's at the Caesars Palace.

00:40:45.780 We're taking it on the road.

00:40:47.820 The casino in Windsor.

00:40:49.600 Remember, didn't we go there?

00:40:50.700 No, you didn't take me to Windsor.

00:40:52.700 You had some weird guy open for you.

00:40:54.320 Who was it?

00:40:55.160 I don't know.

00:40:56.140 I took a guy?

00:40:57.320 No.

00:40:58.580 Daniel Booth.

00:40:59.140 Oh, no.

00:40:59.520 I just had the random people who worked at the Windsor Comedy Club. 0.99

00:41:02.980 But I fucking went to the casino. 0.99

00:41:06.500 Yeah. 0.99

00:41:07.020 It's probably really good.

00:41:07.980 Maybe I stayed there.

00:41:08.600 It has to be nice because all the people from Detroit.

00:41:10.580 I think I might have stayed there.

00:41:11.460 Yeah?

00:41:12.000 Yeah.

00:41:12.560 That's sick.

00:41:14.180 I kind of want to stay there again when we go back.

00:41:17.220 It's pretty sick.

00:41:18.400 It's sick.

00:41:19.540 Seasons Palace.

00:41:20.460 I'm excited for Windsor because I'm going back to Texas.

00:41:23.080 Yeah.

00:41:23.640 And then I'll fly back to Texas the 5th of October and then come into Windsor the 10th.

00:41:31.920 Yeah.

00:41:32.200 And that's an easy.

00:41:33.160 Just go to Detroit.

00:41:34.460 Go right to Windsor.

00:41:35.800 Yeah.

00:41:36.540 It's right there.

00:41:37.680 Chill.

00:41:38.460 Drive to Sarnia.

00:41:39.320 It's like the next city.

00:41:41.500 And then I don't know what I'm going to do for a couple days because then I got to fly 0.99

00:41:45.000 to fucking Winnipeg. 0.98

00:41:46.320 I got to figure out where I'm flying to Winnipeg from. 0.99

00:41:48.640 Yeah, we have to figure that out.

00:41:49.620 We got to get like if I should go back to the States for like nine days and then I

00:41:53.560 think what we should do is probably go back to the States for like eight days and then

00:41:56.680 fly to Winnipeg.

00:41:57.860 Robert Q from Texas.

00:42:01.300 Austin to Winnipeg.

00:42:02.760 Jesus Christ.

00:42:03.600 Like I'm the only comic doing these tours.

00:42:05.680 But it's like, it's like, how's your tour?

00:42:07.620 It's like, yeah, Austin to Winnipeg.

00:42:09.020 I know.

00:42:09.280 You fly to Colorado.

00:42:10.540 Then you go to Florida.

00:42:11.300 It is funny when comics ask me, like, how's the tour?

00:42:13.740 Like, what dates you guys doing?

00:42:14.760 And you tell them like all the towns in Ontario.

00:42:16.540 But you're like at the end, you're like, and then we're going to Hollywood.

00:42:19.620 It's like, it's better.

00:42:21.580 It's good.

00:42:22.840 Winnipeg, Victoria, Hollywood, California, San Jose, California.

00:42:29.860 And then we're going back to Niagara Falls.

00:42:37.140 No, Montreal will be sick.

00:42:39.060 That'll be like the last, that's like the last show for a month.

00:42:41.740 And then I'll be in just in Austin.

00:42:43.380 Yeah.

00:42:43.700 Grinding out shows, just grinding out new material.

00:42:49.140 I do just want to put out the special.

00:42:50.900 So guys, let me know in the comments if you think I should.

00:42:54.420 Do you want another special?

00:42:56.200 Good. 0.99

00:42:59.760 Guys, let me know if you want to see more of this shit. 0.99

00:43:01.560 I'm going to be putting out a five or ten minute comedy clip of me roasting this woman. 1.00

00:43:08.000 And we're going to post clips of it on Insta, too.

00:43:10.160 So check that out on my YouTube.

00:43:11.580 If you're watching on YouTube, if you're on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, please like and subscribe

00:43:17.160 and leave a comment.

00:43:18.520 We appreciate you. 0.99

00:43:19.360 We're trying to get this shit going. 0.98

00:43:21.260 The people who love the podcast love it. 0.99

00:43:23.080 Somebody messaged me like, what do I have to do to make this podcast more regular and shit 0.83

00:43:27.240 like that? 0.79

00:43:27.680 And I'm like, I don't know.

00:43:28.480 Probably have to give me a divorce lawyer. 1.00

00:43:33.420 You're going to subscribe to the top tier Patreon package called Alimony.

00:43:40.420 No, we got you'd have to.

00:43:42.880 No, we're going to we're trying to do that.

00:43:44.500 So we're going to do another podcast tomorrow since we have the late flight.

00:43:48.060 That'll be the Patreon episode and 10 minutes of that will be up for free.

00:43:52.020 So if you like this, please think about Patreon.

00:43:54.120 Check it out.

00:43:54.560 And we love you guys.

00:43:56.080 Share this with your friends.

00:43:57.260 Tell everybody about the podcast.

00:43:58.500 If you see somebody sharing a clip or talking about me, let them know I have a podcast.

00:44:03.100 It really helps.

00:44:04.340 Thank you, guys.

00:44:07.780 Arminar Bobby.

00:44:13.420 A.R.B.

00:44:14.800 O.B.

00:44:15.440 Baby.

00:44:16.260 E.S.

00:44:18.060 A.R.B.

00:44:19.420 A.B.

00:44:19.620 A.B.

00:44:19.740 A.R.B.

00:44:20.860 O.B.

00:44:21.340 Z.

00:44:21.680 On Insta.

00:44:23.180 Appreciate you guys.

00:44:25.200 Support my podcast on Insta, too.

00:44:26.780 The Bank of Show.

00:44:27.520 Thanks.

00:44:29.020 Good night.

00:44:30.440 Oh, there's merch available.

00:44:32.780 Daniel Baldwin's headlining the Hezbollah Festival.

00:44:34.600 Thank you.

Bankas Podcast - October 01, 2024

5 Forks and the Biggest Shows I've Done ｜ The Bankas Show - #064

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