Bankas Podcast - Bankas Podcast #102

00:00:00.000 We just had an STK delivered.

00:00:03.600 We had a—Nashville's so white that we had a white Uber delivery driver

00:00:07.480 bring us $300 worth of food, which we ate in about 45 seconds.

00:00:15.240 Pigs at the trough.

00:00:17.160 Yeah, you gotta feed the opener once in a while.

00:00:20.600 You gotta—he should have seen the excitement.

00:00:24.140 I was like, maybe I should order this STK.

00:00:26.760 He's like, what's STK?

00:00:27.780 It's like, it is—I'll explain something else in a second about comedy,

00:00:32.780 about how the amount of years into comedy you are, that's how old you are.

00:00:37.500 That's what people say.

00:00:40.180 So, how old are you?

00:00:42.620 Three years old.

00:00:43.380 Three years old, yeah.

00:00:44.980 A three-year-old kid being like, what's STK?

00:00:48.960 I've never been.

00:00:50.800 Is it like Chuck E. Cheese?

00:00:51.960 It has nothing to do with comedy.

00:00:54.160 It does, no, but there's tons of things that have nothing to do with comedy,

00:00:57.240 but if you're a comedian, like, you brought that weird guy to that restaurant,

00:01:01.460 the guy who looks like me in an alternate reality.

00:01:03.620 Yeah.

00:01:04.220 And he didn't understand, like, normal things,

00:01:08.340 like where the hot sauce on the table was at the Chinese restaurant.

00:01:11.600 And we're like, he's two years in.

00:01:13.360 He's a two-year-old kid.

00:01:14.700 But it's true, because, you know, you haven't been anywhere.

00:01:18.280 You haven't traveled anywhere.

00:01:19.220 I mean, I don't want to talk about the places you've been.

00:01:25.500 We all know there's one place that you've been.

00:01:29.520 Starts with a P, ends with a Stein.

00:01:31.660 No, we're not doing that this time.

00:01:33.100 We're not.

00:01:33.840 We're not.

00:01:34.300 No, don't bring it up.

00:01:35.280 We're going to, you know.

00:01:36.420 Don't bring it up.

00:01:37.340 We went to San Diego.

00:01:38.880 Yes, we were in San Diego.

00:01:40.900 Sold out despite Comic-Con.

00:01:42.940 Despite Comic-Con, the shows were sold out.

00:01:46.560 And nobody really dressed up, though, for the show.

00:01:51.120 It would have been cool if there was a couple people

00:01:52.640 dressed up like Olivia Chow or something.

00:01:55.540 Real Comic-Con.

00:01:56.940 Ben Bank has made it.

00:01:57.920 People dressed up like Olivia Chow.

00:02:00.720 White people doing yellow face to go to a Ben Bank's show.

00:02:08.680 What do people do?

00:02:09.680 Do people, like, I feel like there's got to be a way

00:02:11.480 to, like, fucking tape your fucking eyes, you know?

00:02:16.960 Hey, CAA.

00:02:17.920 I mean, I did do that for Halloween.

00:02:19.980 Yeah?

00:02:21.280 I did.

00:02:21.900 There is a video of me.

00:02:22.900 I dressed up like Olivia Chow for Halloween.

00:02:26.040 And I did a Halloween show at Yuck Yucks.

00:02:28.120 Hell yeah.

00:02:28.600 As her.

00:02:29.880 It's also like, the thing is,

00:02:31.080 when you make fun of Olivia Chow,

00:02:32.780 you're not punching down.

00:02:34.020 You're making fun of the person in power.

00:02:36.180 That's what comedy's supposed to do.

00:02:37.340 You're supposed to go in, you know?

00:02:38.200 Well, that's the funny part,

00:02:39.320 is that liberals go,

00:02:40.860 you're punching down.

00:02:41.800 It's like, well, she's the mayor.

00:02:42.960 Isn't she above me?

00:02:43.760 It's like, yeah, but she's Asian.

00:02:46.640 So she's below me as a citizen who's not,

00:02:50.360 who's white.

00:02:51.280 That's even more racist.

00:02:53.000 Well, that's the thing,

00:02:53.780 is that liberals are straight up,

00:02:57.220 without knowing it,

00:02:59.480 more racist than Republicans,

00:03:02.200 because they want to live in the suburbs,

00:03:11.100 and they want to live far away from minorities.

00:03:14.740 But liberal whites will literally move

00:03:17.640 into a minority neighborhood,

00:03:19.180 and open a coffee shop,

00:03:21.580 and gentrify it.

00:03:22.740 And then in 10 years,

00:03:25.840 it's like Google headquarters.

00:03:28.980 And they're like,

00:03:30.220 yeah, that's okay,

00:03:31.260 but how dare you want to live in the suburbs?

00:03:34.200 Like, I mean,

00:03:35.100 who's doing the crazier thing?

00:03:36.840 Am I nuts for saying that?

00:03:42.600 I'm not against it, though.

00:03:43.860 I like what the liberals are doing

00:03:46.040 with the gentrification.

00:03:47.840 I'm sitting in the suburbs going,

00:03:49.420 more of that,

00:03:50.200 more coffee shops,

00:03:51.620 more fucking...

00:03:52.760 Don't you have,

00:03:53.640 you're like Muslim neighbors now, right?

00:03:56.180 No.

00:03:56.860 No?

00:03:58.120 No.

00:03:59.300 There were a bunch of hijabs outside

00:04:01.240 when I was at your house.

00:04:02.500 I'll talk about that.

00:04:03.360 I think they left.

00:04:04.180 I think they were just doing a home tour.

00:04:08.000 I haven't seen them since.

00:04:10.500 Would that actually concern you,

00:04:11.900 or would you actually be like,

00:04:12.560 these four...

00:04:12.920 No.

00:04:13.860 I mean,

00:04:16.400 I thought we were going to talk.

00:04:19.080 The whole point of a podcast...

00:04:21.020 This is the thing,

00:04:21.900 is that what my fans don't understand,

00:04:23.540 because, like,

00:04:24.840 the whole point of a podcast

00:04:26.060 is to, like,

00:04:26.840 almost get canceled,

00:04:28.000 but not.

00:04:28.980 That's, like,

00:04:29.500 the whole point of it.

00:04:30.340 So the Holocaust didn't happen.

00:04:33.460 You can't say that on YouTube.

00:04:37.140 Censor, we can blur, you know?

00:04:39.280 But I'm just saying that, like...

00:04:40.340 You can't just say the things...

00:04:47.500 I mean, I say them on stage

00:04:49.220 when nobody's around.

00:04:52.020 Hopefully, sometimes.

00:04:53.040 Laugh Factory, whoopsie.

00:04:54.000 But...

00:04:55.160 We haven't even...

00:05:00.160 We haven't talked about

00:05:01.040 any of the coolest things

00:05:02.660 that have happened,

00:05:03.380 because I just have been

00:05:05.780 so focused on comedy

00:05:06.980 and didn't want to, like...

00:05:09.720 You know?

00:05:12.220 It's easier to just talk about shit

00:05:14.120 that bothers you

00:05:15.040 than cool things happening in your life.

00:05:17.480 It's more interesting

00:05:18.640 to actually talk about cool things.

00:05:20.400 Yeah.

00:05:21.160 Than be like...

00:05:22.680 Another fucking head-on collision.

00:05:26.480 That's horrible.

00:05:27.420 There was...

00:05:28.380 There was...

00:05:29.480 I felt like you were...

00:05:31.760 You were workshopping

00:05:32.840 how you were going to talk about it,

00:05:33.820 because you were talking to me

00:05:34.680 about the head-on collision

00:05:35.640 and then talking to your wife about it.

00:05:38.520 It's a workshop.

00:05:39.020 What's my take on the...

00:05:40.480 Yeah, like, I don't want to...

00:05:42.440 Like, it's like I work

00:05:43.280 at, like, a local news station.

00:05:45.100 I'm like,

00:05:45.360 another horrible crash

00:05:47.360 on the I-30.

00:05:48.100 It's like, why do I...

00:05:50.020 But it is...

00:05:51.140 I don't know.

00:05:51.520 Austin has, like,

00:05:52.300 these crazy crashes, too.

00:05:56.080 Ontario and Austin.

00:05:57.640 The two places

00:05:58.580 that I go back and forth to.

00:06:01.080 Like, everywhere has car crashes

00:06:02.600 all the time.

00:06:04.880 Yeah.

00:06:06.500 It's not that's...

00:06:08.520 People are listening to this

00:06:10.200 in a car right now.

00:06:11.600 They're driving in a car like,

00:06:13.860 fuck.

00:06:14.340 For the change of subject.

00:06:17.060 I mean, it's more dangerous

00:06:18.380 than air travel.

00:06:19.100 Swerve, swerve.

00:06:19.740 Swerve a car right now.

00:06:21.420 Planes are safer,

00:06:22.440 I'm pretty sure,

00:06:22.960 than cars.

00:06:24.780 Overall.

00:06:25.720 Yeah, because you have to be

00:06:27.320 white to fly a plane.

00:06:29.260 I'm just kidding.

00:06:30.420 I'm just kidding.

00:06:31.880 I saw a morbidly obese

00:06:33.500 African-American pilot

00:06:37.440 sitting ready to...

00:06:40.800 You know when the pilots

00:06:41.660 get flown around

00:06:42.680 by the plane,

00:06:43.680 like, Southwest,

00:06:44.680 like, another pilot's like,

00:06:46.400 well, they gotta fly me

00:06:47.360 out to here

00:06:47.900 so that I can get

00:06:48.640 on a plane there.

00:06:50.860 Have you ever seen pilots

00:06:52.080 in a plane, like,

00:06:53.260 sitting with the passengers?

00:06:55.520 In, like, the full outfit?

00:06:57.020 Yeah.

00:06:57.800 They have to?

00:06:58.580 They have to wear it.

00:06:59.400 Even if they're not flying?

00:07:02.380 They're, like,

00:07:02.580 on the plane, you know?

00:07:03.980 Because they'll, like,

00:07:05.960 pick up a flight

00:07:06.840 in, like, another city

00:07:08.000 so then they just fly.

00:07:09.120 They fly for free

00:07:09.940 anywhere for, like, life.

00:07:13.220 And I think sometimes

00:07:14.180 they're already...

00:07:15.140 Or they're, like,

00:07:15.840 done work, probably,

00:07:16.760 and they're like,

00:07:17.080 you know what?

00:07:17.540 I got a week off.

00:07:18.540 I want to fly to...

00:07:19.640 So they just fly there

00:07:20.700 with all their shit.

00:07:22.820 It's pretty sick.

00:07:24.300 If I wasn't a comedian,

00:07:25.480 I'd want to be a pilot.

00:07:26.400 I love it.

00:07:26.840 Yeah, that'd be sick.

00:07:27.720 I think it's...

00:07:28.840 Besides comedian...

00:07:30.840 It is so funny, though,

00:07:33.080 because you see pilots

00:07:34.140 that are really in shape

00:07:35.420 and they're, like,

00:07:36.620 you know, you can...

00:07:37.360 There's, like,

00:07:37.860 you know,

00:07:38.220 all different age groups,

00:07:39.140 but, like,

00:07:39.880 the younger guys,

00:07:41.400 typically,

00:07:41.960 they're, like, in shape

00:07:42.700 and some of the older guys

00:07:43.860 are in shape, too,

00:07:44.600 but some of the older guys

00:07:45.520 are, like, big.

00:07:47.000 They're, like,

00:07:47.540 bus drivers, basically.

00:07:48.780 It's kind of scary.

00:07:49.960 Yeah.

00:07:51.220 It's kind of scary.

00:07:52.580 It's kind of a dark life,

00:07:53.760 honestly.

00:07:54.880 Oh, it's super dark.

00:07:56.100 It's kind of, like...

00:07:57.700 It's almost like

00:07:58.320 being a doctor or something.

00:07:59.580 It's just, like,

00:08:00.020 this thing that, like,

00:08:00.900 never stops

00:08:01.740 and there's never,

00:08:03.760 you know...

00:08:05.120 It's kind of mind-blowing, too.

00:08:07.800 Like, they think differently

00:08:08.860 because they're, like,

00:08:09.740 up there all the time.

00:08:12.280 They're always up there.

00:08:13.920 Yeah.

00:08:14.720 Like, they have, like,

00:08:15.420 a higher elevation,

00:08:16.600 but then it's, like,

00:08:17.220 trippy because they just know

00:08:18.480 how many flights

00:08:19.280 are happening

00:08:19.820 at the same time

00:08:20.660 and they probably hear

00:08:22.980 about UFOs and stuff

00:08:24.500 and shit,

00:08:25.180 chatter on the radios

00:08:27.380 and stuff.

00:08:27.680 I don't know.

00:08:28.580 It seems cool.

00:08:28.700 And when you're on the ground,

00:08:29.940 everything probably seems

00:08:30.840 so, like, unimportant.

00:08:32.380 Everything's like,

00:08:32.840 oh, I'm just this little speck.

00:08:34.780 You know?

00:08:35.820 They're always...

00:08:36.500 It's such a weird perspective

00:08:38.120 to have, like, all the...

00:08:39.860 Flying is cool, though.

00:08:41.860 I think it's dope, but...

00:08:43.660 Why are we talking about this?

00:08:46.420 Is it even that hard

00:08:47.320 to fucking fly a plane?

00:08:47.860 You're the worst...

00:08:48.620 Is it that hard?

00:08:51.300 I mean...

00:08:51.760 Yeah, it can't be...

00:08:52.260 It's not that hard.

00:08:53.240 Apparently, there's a saying.

00:08:54.480 It's, like, it's...

00:08:55.080 I can teach you to fly

00:08:56.080 in two hours,

00:08:57.020 but it's the...

00:08:58.560 What goes...

00:08:59.400 If that's if everything's perfect.

00:09:00.800 Like...

00:09:01.200 Yeah.

00:09:01.700 It's all the,

00:09:02.300 what if this happens?

00:09:03.400 What if that happens?

00:09:04.560 What if...

00:09:05.940 You know?

00:09:06.820 Because they have to know

00:09:07.640 all the different procedures

00:09:09.300 to do

00:09:10.120 if, like,

00:09:12.260 there's something going.

00:09:13.960 Whatever.

00:09:15.120 You know what's crazy

00:09:15.700 is you don't even need a license

00:09:16.860 to fucking drive a boat.

00:09:18.620 Yeah, you do.

00:09:19.700 Not, like, small motorboats.

00:09:21.560 Under, like, six feet

00:09:23.500 or something like that.

00:09:24.080 Well, like, you could still

00:09:24.660 kill someone

00:09:25.140 with a fucking motorboat.

00:09:27.580 The dinghy?

00:09:29.620 No.

00:09:29.980 It's like a dinghy.

00:09:30.160 It's like a real fucking thing

00:09:31.700 with, like, eight seats

00:09:32.660 or whatever.

00:09:33.060 No, no.

00:09:33.500 You can't...

00:09:33.940 You have to have a license for that.

00:09:35.320 Not in America.

00:09:36.260 Yeah, you do.

00:09:37.320 Maybe to own it.

00:09:38.280 I've...

00:09:38.520 No, I grew up with a boat.

00:09:39.220 You've never been

00:09:40.080 to an STK.

00:09:41.720 You do not know

00:09:43.160 about boat licenses.

00:09:43.900 I know some shit.

00:09:46.300 You're like,

00:09:46.940 on Lake Hachach

00:09:48.620 in the fucking

00:09:49.940 the Jewish territory

00:09:51.280 of stolen land,

00:09:52.860 we, uh...

00:09:53.780 Anybody can boat.

00:09:56.260 No, you have to have

00:09:57.200 a license, dude.

00:09:58.080 Even in Texas

00:09:58.700 you have to have a license.

00:10:00.000 I was looking into it

00:10:00.740 because I was gonna...

00:10:03.520 I wasn't gonna buy a boat

00:10:05.520 but I was like...

00:10:06.260 I dream of buying...

00:10:07.360 I want to buy a boat.

00:10:08.740 Yeah.

00:10:09.440 Like, why wouldn't I?

00:10:11.160 You're wrong.

00:10:12.100 I need you to know

00:10:12.640 that you're wrong about this.

00:10:13.900 That you can drive a boat

00:10:15.240 with a...

00:10:15.540 It's...

00:10:16.200 We don't have to

00:10:17.220 talk about it

00:10:18.160 but I know.

00:10:18.840 There might be a rule

00:10:19.500 like if you're in a boat

00:10:20.580 with somebody

00:10:21.040 with a license

00:10:21.720 you can drive a boat.

00:10:23.920 But there has to be...

00:10:26.320 You have to have a license.

00:10:28.440 I don't think...

00:10:29.380 Hey Siri.

00:10:30.740 Do you have to have a license

00:10:32.340 to drive a boat

00:10:33.800 in America?

00:10:36.600 Whilst individuals

00:10:37.480 don't need a license

00:10:38.480 to drive a boat

00:10:39.420 similar to a road

00:10:40.760 driving license

00:10:41.620 there can be circumstances

00:10:43.100 where the boat itself

00:10:44.200 requires some form

00:10:45.180 of license.

00:10:46.580 This is from

00:10:47.200 firstclassailing.com

00:10:48.820 How is this possible?

00:10:51.460 Tell you there's

00:10:52.040 a free country out here.

00:10:53.400 This is insane.

00:10:55.860 Texas

00:10:56.460 boating

00:10:57.500 license.

00:10:59.440 Dude when I worked

00:10:59.980 at a summer camp

00:11:01.080 we would take

00:11:01.460 the kids water skiing

00:11:02.360 and they just let

00:11:02.980 the lifeguards

00:11:03.600 drive the boat.

00:11:04.340 It's like you had to like

00:11:05.080 that you show them

00:11:05.840 you knew how to do it

00:11:06.640 but they were like

00:11:07.900 alright

00:11:08.140 take them out there.

00:11:10.560 Listen, listen, listen.

00:11:12.840 Successful completion

00:11:13.760 of a certified

00:11:15.040 boater education course

00:11:16.480 and possession

00:11:17.040 of a valid photo ID

00:11:18.380 are required

00:11:19.960 for any person

00:11:20.940 born on

00:11:21.860 or after

00:11:22.460 September 1st

00:11:23.380 1993

00:11:24.080 to operate

00:11:26.100 a vessel

00:11:26.620 powered by

00:11:27.900 a motor

00:11:28.400 or more than

00:11:29.860 15 horsepower

00:11:30.780 or a windblown

00:11:31.820 vessel over

00:11:32.420 14 feet.

00:11:34.840 What state

00:11:35.680 is that in?

00:11:36.280 That's Texas.

00:11:37.360 Okay, yeah.

00:11:38.020 Maybe in Texas.

00:11:39.620 Well, what's

00:11:40.080 name a state?

00:11:41.300 Pennsylvania

00:11:41.820 and Maine.

00:11:42.600 You need

00:11:43.520 for sure

00:11:44.600 Pennsylvania

00:11:45.120 and Maine

00:11:45.940 unless they changed

00:11:47.280 the law recently

00:11:48.200 but

00:11:49.420 there's

00:11:50.680 yeah

00:11:51.120 we literally

00:11:52.120 I want time

00:11:52.760 almost

00:11:53.060 in Pennsylvania

00:11:54.140 a boating license

00:11:55.080 more accurately

00:11:55.720 a boating safety

00:11:56.680 education certificate

00:11:57.660 is required

00:11:58.480 for certain boaters

00:11:59.600 specifically born

00:12:01.300 after January 1st

00:12:03.140 1982

00:12:03.780 who operate

00:12:05.700 motorboats

00:12:06.260 with more than

00:12:06.760 25 horsepower

00:12:07.500 so it's like

00:12:08.840 a new thing

00:12:09.520 so really

00:12:09.980 you don't need it

00:12:10.900 born after

00:12:12.260 true

00:12:14.380 so

00:12:16.840 we're good

00:12:17.840 even I'm good

00:12:19.400 I'm good by a year

00:12:20.220 in Texas

00:12:20.700 that's crazy

00:12:22.020 that I'm a year

00:12:22.800 alright

00:12:24.400 so

00:12:26.000 they don't

00:12:28.080 pull over boats

00:12:28.900 here

00:12:29.060 like in Canada

00:12:29.720 you need a boating

00:12:30.460 license

00:12:30.940 and if you

00:12:32.140 boat around

00:12:32.940 like they get

00:12:35.220 pulled over

00:12:35.700 like people get

00:12:36.280 pulled over

00:12:36.800 on lakes

00:12:37.240 all the time

00:12:37.820 yeah

00:12:38.280 I got pulled over

00:12:39.520 in a kayak

00:12:40.100 we weren't wearing

00:12:41.440 we weren't wearing

00:12:42.540 fucking life jackets

00:12:43.960 so like

00:12:45.280 and you actually

00:12:45.780 got in trouble

00:12:46.320 yeah

00:12:46.860 they gave us

00:12:47.280 like a ticket

00:12:47.780 that's crazy

00:12:50.100 what

00:12:50.680 how big was

00:12:51.700 that lake

00:12:52.180 it was a river

00:12:53.540 it was the

00:12:54.080 Delaware River

00:12:54.980 that's probably

00:12:57.160 why

00:12:57.480 because it's a river

00:12:58.200 yeah

00:12:59.220 that's weird though

00:13:00.740 but you were kids

00:13:02.040 I don't know

00:13:03.500 it was like

00:13:03.800 maybe five

00:13:04.340 this was during

00:13:04.740 COVID

00:13:05.060 huh

00:13:06.080 they're probably

00:13:06.940 trying to protect

00:13:07.680 you guys

00:13:08.080 I mean

00:13:08.360 it is retarded

00:13:09.040 why would you

00:13:09.660 be in a

00:13:10.080 fucking kayak

00:13:10.680 without a

00:13:11.140 why would you

00:13:13.080 do that

00:13:13.520 who goes

00:13:15.100 kayak

00:13:15.560 not even

00:13:16.600 a canoe

00:13:17.040 we literally

00:13:17.440 were like

00:13:17.780 oh look

00:13:18.200 we have

00:13:18.580 life jackets

00:13:19.120 it was just

00:13:19.540 like the

00:13:19.920 the blow up

00:13:20.880 foam

00:13:21.240 from like

00:13:21.620 the fucking

00:13:22.000 we were also

00:13:22.600 in a blow up

00:13:23.260 kayak

00:13:23.580 it wasn't even

00:13:24.240 like a real one

00:13:25.060 that shit's

00:13:27.000 dangerous bro

00:13:27.720 yeah

00:13:28.200 I uh

00:13:29.620 I've fallen out

00:13:30.480 of a kayak

00:13:31.000 on a river

00:13:31.560 yeah

00:13:33.560 with my wife

00:13:35.700 my wife

00:13:36.240 that was like

00:13:36.700 one of our

00:13:37.060 first dates

00:13:37.620 she like

00:13:38.100 made me go

00:13:39.440 kayaking

00:13:39.880 I hated it

00:13:40.420 I fell out

00:13:40.960 of the kayak

00:13:41.500 like a

00:13:41.900 thousand times

00:13:43.380 I hated it

00:13:44.040 I hated it

00:13:44.760 and I was

00:13:46.040 fucking

00:13:46.380 tripping too

00:13:48.020 yeah

00:13:48.600 a little bit

00:13:49.380 yeah

00:13:49.700 and like

00:13:50.840 fell out

00:13:51.400 of the kayak

00:13:52.220 like in the river

00:13:53.120 like I could

00:13:53.580 have hit my head

00:13:54.220 and just been like

00:13:55.080 drowned

00:13:56.080 probably

00:13:57.260 and it was

00:13:57.740 getting dark too

00:13:58.700 so it was like

00:13:59.880 literally dark

00:14:00.760 and like the kayak

00:14:01.720 was went

00:14:02.680 by itself

00:14:03.440 I was just

00:14:03.820 standing in a river

00:14:04.740 my wife had to

00:14:07.420 go get it

00:14:07.900 bring it

00:14:08.320 she somehow

00:14:08.900 got it

00:14:09.420 and brought it

00:14:09.840 back

00:14:10.180 strong woman

00:14:12.060 impressive

00:14:12.600 yeah

00:14:13.720 you're in love

00:14:15.240 huh

00:14:15.560 yeah

00:14:17.440 but

00:14:19.780 I don't like

00:14:22.900 kayaks

00:14:23.320 I haven't

00:14:24.220 been kayaking

00:14:24.700 since

00:14:24.980 I'll never

00:14:25.300 go kayaking

00:14:25.820 again

00:14:26.120 yeah

00:14:26.860 I'll never

00:14:27.380 do anything

00:14:27.860 fun again

00:14:28.600 I think

00:14:29.720 once you have

00:14:30.560 kids

00:14:30.860 you're like

00:14:31.100 I don't know

00:14:31.800 it's crazy

00:14:32.360 to just be like

00:14:32.940 I'm gonna

00:14:33.180 kayak

00:14:33.560 I'm gonna

00:14:33.940 skydive

00:14:34.760 what are you

00:14:35.540 talking about

00:14:36.160 like what are

00:14:36.540 you doing

00:14:36.860 I wanna go

00:14:37.260 skydiving

00:14:38.520 the real one

00:14:39.100 not the

00:14:39.500 fake shit

00:14:40.440 where they're

00:14:40.760 like oh

00:14:41.240 we don't do

00:14:41.820 that here

00:14:42.280 that was

00:14:43.360 crazy

00:14:43.880 I had a bit

00:14:46.040 of a crash

00:14:46.640 out at

00:14:47.140 iFly

00:14:48.020 we walked

00:14:49.820 into an iFly

00:14:50.640 and I was

00:14:51.040 just mad

00:14:51.620 I don't know

00:14:52.060 we just

00:14:52.540 we just

00:14:52.900 watched

00:14:53.140 superman

00:14:53.640 you guys

00:14:53.960 were like

00:14:54.160 let's fly

00:14:54.840 because they

00:14:55.840 had an iFly

00:14:56.500 right next

00:14:57.000 to the

00:14:57.320 superman

00:14:57.840 or to

00:14:58.200 the amc

00:14:58.940 next to

00:15:00.240 the comedy

00:15:00.640 club

00:15:01.000 and

00:15:02.020 I don't

00:15:02.900 know why

00:15:03.240 I just

00:15:03.460 I just

00:15:03.760 wanted to

00:15:04.120 go to

00:15:04.520 Fogo

00:15:04.900 so bad

00:15:05.920 that was

00:15:06.760 fucking sick

00:15:07.380 fucking

00:15:08.600 they just

00:15:08.860 come around

00:15:09.220 with the

00:15:09.500 meats

00:15:09.840 but they

00:15:10.400 I don't

00:15:10.680 know

00:15:10.780 we walked

00:15:11.220 in there

00:15:11.600 and you

00:15:11.860 were like

00:15:12.300 you were

00:15:13.560 like so

00:15:13.920 what's

00:15:14.540 what is

00:15:15.020 it

00:15:15.280 or what

00:15:15.660 did you

00:15:15.880 say

00:15:16.040 how much

00:15:16.880 is it

00:15:17.080 to sky

00:15:17.460 dive

00:15:17.780 well we

00:15:18.580 don't do

00:15:18.980 sky

00:15:19.460 diving

00:15:19.880 here

00:15:20.160 we do

00:15:21.500 indoor

00:15:22.240 fucking

00:15:22.800 whatever

00:15:23.200 you know

00:15:23.720 and then

00:15:25.940 to me

00:15:26.500 it's just

00:15:26.900 terrifying

00:15:27.340 you're gonna

00:15:27.660 fall into

00:15:28.220 the fan

00:15:28.800 it's kind

00:15:29.800 of like

00:15:30.000 that scene

00:15:30.540 from

00:15:30.880 Willy Wonka

00:15:32.140 and the

00:15:32.380 chocolate

00:15:32.660 factory

00:15:33.160 I just

00:15:34.940 I could

00:15:37.360 see myself

00:15:38.000 just doing

00:15:39.080 one wrong

00:15:39.860 move

00:15:40.260 and then

00:15:40.600 like

00:15:40.920 landing on

00:15:41.740 my side

00:15:42.700 and

00:15:42.960 I don't

00:15:45.200 know

00:15:45.400 that's

00:15:45.720 what I'm

00:15:45.860 saying

00:15:46.160 is like

00:15:46.520 you have

00:15:46.920 to like

00:15:47.340 you have

00:15:48.600 to stay

00:15:49.240 healthy

00:15:51.120 like people

00:15:51.600 are worried

00:15:52.080 about me

00:15:52.440 at my

00:15:52.680 shows

00:15:53.000 like I

00:15:53.280 have like

00:15:53.560 one guy

00:15:54.040 after every

00:15:54.500 show

00:15:54.720 being like

00:15:55.100 you need

00:15:55.480 to fix

00:15:56.200 your life

00:15:56.680 I'm like

00:15:57.240 I had

00:15:58.680 I drank

00:15:59.160 a water

00:15:59.600 on stage

00:16:00.180 like

00:16:04.220 I don't

00:16:05.200 know

00:16:05.440 some guy

00:16:07.000 messaged me

00:16:07.520 like the

00:16:07.900 other night

00:16:08.280 was like

00:16:08.740 you need

00:16:09.840 to be

00:16:10.100 on

00:16:10.220 Ozempic

00:16:10.860 he was like

00:16:13.100 you need

00:16:13.620 to be

00:16:13.860 on

00:16:14.040 name some

00:16:14.720 other

00:16:14.920 crazy

00:16:15.340 drug

00:16:15.700 he's like

00:16:16.060 you need

00:16:17.280 to not

00:16:18.360 have an

00:16:18.700 appetite

00:16:19.120 I don't

00:16:22.380 know

00:16:22.680 what the

00:16:23.540 answer is

00:16:24.280 I feel like

00:16:25.640 I lost

00:16:26.360 weight

00:16:26.680 I look like

00:16:27.280 I lost

00:16:27.640 weight

00:16:27.900 I think

00:16:28.300 so yeah

00:16:28.820 but I don't

00:16:29.340 know if I

00:16:29.680 have or I'm

00:16:30.140 just fatter

00:16:30.720 how do you

00:16:32.120 feel

00:16:32.420 I feel

00:16:34.360 decent

00:16:34.820 I feel

00:16:35.380 like I

00:16:36.360 could lose

00:16:36.900 like a good

00:16:37.360 80 pounds

00:16:39.760 and that

00:16:40.920 would be

00:16:41.200 like life

00:16:41.720 changing

00:16:42.080 which is

00:16:45.000 pretty good

00:16:45.560 yeah

00:16:47.380 so far

00:16:48.120 I mean

00:16:48.580 besides for

00:16:49.800 like

00:16:50.120 maybe a few

00:16:51.040 too many

00:16:51.440 wings

00:16:51.840 last night

00:16:52.780 I feel like

00:16:54.080 so far

00:16:54.420 it's been

00:16:54.760 I can't believe

00:16:55.160 that was last

00:16:55.820 night

00:16:56.200 feels like a

00:16:57.480 year ago

00:16:58.140 25 chickens

00:17:01.260 had to die

00:17:02.040 there's so

00:17:03.880 much slaughter

00:17:05.380 for me to

00:17:07.040 just eat

00:17:07.580 40 pounds

00:17:09.680 of beef

00:17:11.280 tallow

00:17:11.740 fried

00:17:12.280 oh it's

00:17:13.940 fried and

00:17:14.380 beef tallow

00:17:15.020 it's healthy

00:17:15.440 listen

00:17:17.760 it's healthy

00:17:18.840 it's fried

00:17:20.180 and fat

00:17:20.780 of another

00:17:21.280 animal

00:17:21.740 but it's

00:17:22.420 not

00:17:22.820 from an

00:17:24.020 olive

00:17:24.400 protein

00:17:28.380 protein's

00:17:28.920 good

00:17:29.160 then like

00:17:30.900 the freaking

00:17:31.420 italians

00:17:32.380 they'd smoke

00:17:33.080 and drink

00:17:33.640 and eat

00:17:34.800 pasta every

00:17:35.440 night

00:17:35.680 and they're

00:17:36.000 like

00:17:36.240 everything's

00:17:37.040 good

00:17:37.280 but it's

00:17:38.340 a nice

00:17:38.620 climate

00:17:39.200 the climate

00:17:40.160 here is

00:17:40.580 terrible

00:17:41.060 I don't

00:17:42.680 know if

00:17:42.880 it's climate

00:17:43.400 change

00:17:43.980 or it's

00:17:44.300 just always

00:17:44.760 been bad

00:17:45.420 but it

00:17:46.720 is

00:17:47.200 pretty bad

00:17:50.180 climate

00:17:50.560 I like

00:17:51.200 California

00:17:51.860 people like

00:17:52.260 why is

00:17:52.560 California

00:17:53.160 oh you got

00:17:54.640 to pay

00:17:54.920 all those

00:17:55.260 taxes

00:17:55.700 it's not

00:17:56.220 worth it

00:17:56.620 it's like

00:17:56.980 it's worth

00:17:57.500 it because

00:17:57.780 I feel like

00:17:58.180 you can

00:17:58.440 breathe

00:17:59.100 like I feel

00:18:00.560 like

00:18:00.820 yeah

00:18:01.160 it's one

00:18:01.640 of the

00:18:01.800 only states

00:18:02.360 where you're

00:18:02.620 like oh

00:18:03.420 shit

00:18:03.800 I can

00:18:04.900 breathe

00:18:05.140 the air

00:18:05.560 I can

00:18:06.740 go outside

00:18:07.540 and the fact

00:18:08.640 it's cool

00:18:09.300 during the

00:18:09.760 summer

00:18:09.980 I don't

00:18:10.300 even know

00:18:10.800 that

00:18:11.180 till

00:18:12.260 the only

00:18:12.960 problem

00:18:13.320 is that

00:18:14.200 criminals

00:18:15.120 always go

00:18:15.780 to places

00:18:16.220 that have

00:18:16.820 the best

00:18:17.200 climate

00:18:17.600 right

00:18:17.920 they all

00:18:18.620 want to

00:18:18.860 live there

00:18:19.200 too

00:18:19.440 so

00:18:19.740 it's been

00:18:20.880 rude

00:18:21.160 but

00:18:22.000 I would

00:18:23.740 pay the

00:18:24.080 higher tax

00:18:24.700 to live

00:18:25.020 there

00:18:25.140 I don't

00:18:25.340 know if

00:18:25.540 I'd pay

00:18:25.900 the higher

00:18:26.420 everything

00:18:27.160 you know

00:18:28.600 like for

00:18:30.260 property

00:18:30.680 and shit

00:18:30.960 I mean

00:18:31.140 that's

00:18:31.360 what

00:18:31.460 like

00:18:31.800 I mean

00:18:34.280 Rogan

00:18:34.640 said that

00:18:35.120 that

00:18:35.380 he would

00:18:35.960 pay

00:18:36.180 higher

00:18:36.480 tax

00:18:36.880 if he

00:18:37.300 was

00:18:37.420 getting

00:18:37.660 if they

00:18:38.000 were

00:18:38.140 getting

00:18:38.500 something

00:18:40.000 for it

00:18:40.600 like if

00:18:41.600 it was

00:18:41.820 run

00:18:42.020 properly

00:18:42.480 you know

00:18:44.120 so

00:18:44.620 but we've

00:18:46.720 been

00:18:46.880 to some

00:18:47.780 cities

00:18:48.200 San Diego

00:18:48.900 seemed like

00:18:49.520 it was

00:18:49.740 run

00:18:50.080 fine

00:18:51.580 I didn't

00:18:52.360 I mean

00:18:53.660 it was

00:18:53.840 Comic Con

00:18:54.340 weekend

00:18:54.700 so it was

00:18:55.120 like

00:18:55.340 probably

00:18:56.480 the most

00:18:57.140 cops

00:18:58.580 but it

00:18:58.940 didn't even

00:18:59.220 seem like

00:18:59.640 didn't even

00:19:01.200 seem as many

00:19:01.720 cops as

00:19:02.180 like Austin

00:19:02.720 has

00:19:03.100 on like a

00:19:03.760 regular

00:19:04.040 Friday

00:19:04.500 well they

00:19:06.080 gotta protect

00:19:06.520 they got the

00:19:06.940 package to

00:19:07.480 protect

00:19:07.880 on 6th

00:19:09.060 Street

00:19:09.300 you know

00:19:11.040 they've

00:19:11.440 got a

00:19:11.700 whole

00:19:11.940 but it's

00:19:12.720 always been

00:19:13.140 like that

00:19:13.680 yeah

00:19:14.280 even before

00:19:14.980 Mothership

00:19:15.440 yeah

00:19:16.340 like just

00:19:17.480 like SWAT

00:19:18.000 team guys

00:19:18.600 yeah

00:19:19.060 they used

00:19:19.780 to have

00:19:20.000 horses

00:19:20.380 when I

00:19:22.160 first

00:19:22.580 started going

00:19:23.420 to Austin

00:19:23.860 and like

00:19:25.400 it was all

00:19:25.820 at the

00:19:26.080 Vulcan

00:19:26.360 before even

00:19:27.040 it was at

00:19:27.340 the Vulcan

00:19:27.740 it was at

00:19:28.180 Anton's

00:19:29.080 Anton's

00:19:30.000 that's where

00:19:30.620 that's where

00:19:31.160 Kill Tony

00:19:31.600 was

00:19:31.960 and at

00:19:33.200 that time

00:19:33.820 I guess

00:19:35.460 Rogan was

00:19:36.860 doing at

00:19:37.620 the Vulcan

00:19:38.140 or he had

00:19:38.600 just moved

00:19:39.220 there

00:19:39.620 I don't know

00:19:40.220 what's going

00:19:40.520 on but

00:19:40.920 Anton's is

00:19:44.160 on 5th

00:19:45.800 Street

00:19:46.140 Anton's

00:19:47.880 and 6th

00:19:50.020 Street

00:19:50.200 I would

00:19:50.880 go there

00:19:51.380 and yeah

00:19:52.040 it was

00:19:52.280 horses every

00:19:53.100 night

00:19:53.360 they're always

00:19:53.960 they actually

00:19:55.320 got more

00:19:55.860 lenient now

00:19:56.580 with the

00:19:56.900 parking on

00:19:57.580 6th Street

00:19:58.040 so now

00:19:58.480 you're allowed

00:19:59.360 to park

00:19:59.900 but now

00:20:02.320 they're coming

00:20:02.700 up with

00:20:03.080 like permanent

00:20:03.920 cement barriers

00:20:04.980 they're doing

00:20:05.700 all kinds of

00:20:06.280 shit on

00:20:06.600 6th Street

00:20:07.040 but it used

00:20:08.560 to be

00:20:08.780 so now

00:20:09.460 it's like

00:20:09.860 the least

00:20:10.500 cops

00:20:11.420 it used

00:20:12.800 to be

00:20:13.440 a lot

00:20:13.760 more

00:20:14.060 they used

00:20:15.640 to close

00:20:16.000 down the

00:20:16.320 whole street

00:20:16.880 there was

00:20:17.240 all these

00:20:17.560 crazy vendors

00:20:18.540 and you

00:20:20.340 know

00:20:20.640 snake people

00:20:21.840 but people

00:20:22.260 kept getting

00:20:22.660 snake people

00:20:23.280 yeah there was

00:20:23.860 people with

00:20:24.280 the snakes

00:20:24.820 they had

00:20:25.240 the pythons

00:20:26.400 oh just

00:20:27.280 for people

00:20:27.780 to touch

00:20:28.240 you could

00:20:29.160 like pay

00:20:29.640 to touch

00:20:30.400 them I guess

00:20:31.140 or like

00:20:31.880 wrap them

00:20:32.800 around you

00:20:33.280 and take

00:20:33.540 pictures

00:20:33.900 and shit

00:20:34.340 yeah

00:20:36.060 that's kind

00:20:36.820 of cool

00:20:37.080 it was cool

00:20:37.780 it was like

00:20:38.440 a whole vibe

00:20:39.060 that was the

00:20:39.560 whole keep

00:20:40.140 Austin weird

00:20:40.840 thing

00:20:41.240 but then

00:20:42.120 people just

00:20:42.560 kept getting

00:20:42.940 shot

00:20:43.380 on 6th

00:20:45.160 Street

00:20:45.320 yeah

00:20:45.760 and like

00:20:46.580 just off

00:20:47.360 yeah

00:20:49.040 San Diego

00:20:50.040 pretty good

00:20:50.700 place

00:20:51.300 not as good

00:20:54.380 as Nashville

00:20:55.000 San Diego

00:20:57.140 is way better

00:20:57.900 than Nashville

00:20:58.360 are you kidding

00:20:58.800 me

00:20:59.140 Nashville

00:21:00.220 I wouldn't

00:21:00.780 know

00:21:00.960 I haven't

00:21:01.320 seen Nashville

00:21:01.880 Nashville

00:21:02.340 there is

00:21:03.060 nothing to

00:21:03.560 see

00:21:03.900 it's seven

00:21:04.480 minutes away

00:21:05.140 we're not

00:21:05.620 going

00:21:06.000 you're not

00:21:07.480 going to

00:21:07.800 see Broadway

00:21:08.460 you're not

00:21:08.940 going to

00:21:09.100 go have

00:21:09.460 fun

00:21:09.900 and dance

00:21:10.900 on a

00:21:11.140 rooftop

00:21:11.440 okay

00:21:12.160 not on

00:21:13.360 my watch

00:21:14.040 you know

00:21:17.540 you think

00:21:17.920 comedy

00:21:18.380 every city

00:21:19.260 you just

00:21:19.600 oh

00:21:19.880 I gotta

00:21:21.160 see the

00:21:21.600 sights

00:21:21.920 nobody

00:21:22.340 sees

00:21:22.620 you don't

00:21:22.940 see the

00:21:23.380 sights

00:21:23.820 until you're

00:21:25.420 doing weekends

00:21:26.200 we're doing

00:21:27.740 a weekend

00:21:28.180 no we're not

00:21:29.340 what do you

00:21:30.840 mean

00:21:31.000 Friday

00:21:31.380 Saturday

00:21:31.840 how is this

00:21:32.280 not a weekend

00:21:32.740 one show

00:21:33.620 Friday

00:21:34.180 one

00:21:34.760 two shows

00:21:35.920 tomorrow

00:21:36.460 a weekend

00:21:39.780 is Wednesday

00:21:40.660 to Sunday

00:21:41.300 that's a

00:21:43.040 weekend

00:21:43.420 30 shows

00:21:47.300 if you're

00:21:49.020 doing 30

00:21:49.640 shows in a

00:21:50.360 weekend

00:21:50.600 then you

00:21:51.060 can

00:21:51.320 then you

00:21:52.240 can wander

00:21:52.760 I don't

00:21:54.040 know what

00:21:54.280 the fuck

00:21:54.620 I'm talking

00:21:54.960 about

00:21:55.140 but yeah

00:21:55.640 I definitely

00:21:56.880 don't think

00:21:57.700 certain cities

00:21:59.860 you're not

00:22:00.200 like ah

00:22:00.680 Cincinnati

00:22:01.040 time to

00:22:01.820 hit the

00:22:02.360 streets

00:22:02.700 walk around

00:22:03.380 I didn't

00:22:03.700 want to

00:22:04.120 go out

00:22:04.500 in Cincinnati

00:22:04.980 I literally

00:22:06.100 said

00:22:06.640 can we

00:22:07.440 stay in

00:22:08.240 I forced

00:22:08.920 you

00:22:09.260 but that's

00:22:09.920 because

00:22:10.100 so every

00:22:11.060 city

00:22:11.420 I bring

00:22:12.300 you to

00:22:12.560 I like

00:22:12.880 force you

00:22:13.360 to go

00:22:13.620 through

00:22:13.800 some sort

00:22:14.280 of like

00:22:14.640 horrible

00:22:15.800 humiliation

00:22:17.220 ritual

00:22:17.720 where you

00:22:18.140 stayed at a

00:22:19.680 hotel with

00:22:20.160 a bed bug

00:22:20.920 and then

00:22:21.420 you had to

00:22:22.260 like schlep

00:22:23.260 your bag

00:22:23.860 like

00:22:24.200 through the

00:22:25.600 heart

00:22:25.900 I mean I could

00:22:25.960 have taken

00:22:26.360 an Uber

00:22:26.760 but I just

00:22:27.260 decided to

00:22:27.860 walk

00:22:28.200 because I

00:22:28.840 wanted to

00:22:29.200 see Cincinnati

00:22:30.000 I wanted to

00:22:31.520 see the

00:22:32.120 sights

00:22:32.580 this is your

00:22:33.360 whole thing

00:22:33.860 is you want

00:22:34.300 it you're

00:22:34.600 like I

00:22:35.300 need to

00:22:35.580 I need to

00:22:36.000 feel it

00:22:36.660 can't just

00:22:39.940 go to

00:22:40.260 Nashville

00:22:40.680 you gotta

00:22:41.060 go to

00:22:41.340 Broadway

00:22:41.680 you gotta

00:22:42.180 you gotta

00:22:42.960 see fucking

00:22:43.520 dumb people

00:22:44.180 in their

00:22:44.500 bachelorette

00:22:45.240 and get

00:22:45.920 scammed by

00:22:46.660 a street

00:22:47.080 swindler

00:22:48.380 and no

00:22:50.360 comedy is

00:22:53.540 about staying

00:22:54.760 inside of

00:22:55.720 the comedy

00:22:56.740 unit the

00:22:57.680 provided

00:22:58.200 place that

00:22:59.800 they give

00:23:00.220 you to

00:23:00.620 stay

00:23:01.100 you stay

00:23:02.220 inside of

00:23:02.840 that place

00:23:03.460 from

00:23:05.880 morning

00:23:06.480 till

00:23:06.780 fucking

00:23:07.300 dusk

00:23:08.960 you don't

00:23:10.600 leave

00:23:11.000 you leave

00:23:11.820 to get

00:23:12.120 little

00:23:12.360 things

00:23:12.760 you get

00:23:13.080 cigarettes

00:23:13.500 you get

00:23:14.000 you get

00:23:14.860 coffee

00:23:15.340 you get

00:23:16.080 but you

00:23:16.600 come back

00:23:17.160 immediately

00:23:17.600 you go out

00:23:19.800 you establish

00:23:21.780 a perimeter

00:23:22.400 okay we

00:23:22.900 got a

00:23:23.140 Publix

00:23:23.600 we gotta

00:23:24.000 that's

00:23:25.460 that's as

00:23:25.880 far as we

00:23:26.340 go

00:23:26.680 you saw

00:23:28.700 Nashville

00:23:29.160 today we

00:23:29.840 went on a

00:23:30.320 nice 20

00:23:31.040 minute walk

00:23:31.820 to the

00:23:32.980 side of the

00:23:33.800 highway

00:23:34.060 to the

00:23:35.020 bank

00:23:35.540 on ramp

00:23:38.100 all right

00:23:39.260 I just want

00:23:39.800 to imagine

00:23:40.200 there was

00:23:40.560 somebody who

00:23:41.000 was going

00:23:41.380 to the

00:23:41.700 show

00:23:42.000 who drove

00:23:42.920 by us

00:23:43.400 like is that

00:23:43.860 the guy

00:23:44.420 drenched in

00:23:48.280 sweat

00:23:48.660 walking on

00:23:50.600 the side of

00:23:51.260 the highway

00:23:51.720 first good

00:23:57.100 walk

00:23:57.440 America's

00:23:58.880 not a

00:23:59.180 walking

00:23:59.480 country

00:23:59.940 it really

00:24:00.300 just

00:24:00.620 there's

00:24:01.040 no

00:24:01.420 you have

00:24:02.740 to go

00:24:02.920 to like

00:24:03.160 a designated

00:24:03.760 place where

00:24:04.440 they protect

00:24:05.060 like miles

00:24:05.940 like cops

00:24:07.100 to have

00:24:07.480 like a

00:24:07.780 proper

00:24:07.980 apparently

00:24:08.460 there's

00:24:08.700 like a

00:24:08.980 track

00:24:09.360 from

00:24:09.640 Pittsburgh

00:24:10.160 to

00:24:10.700 DC

00:24:11.280 like a

00:24:11.760 walking

00:24:12.100 track

00:24:12.600 they do

00:24:13.780 it's like

00:24:14.160 through the

00:24:14.600 woods or

00:24:14.960 something

00:24:15.260 that sounds

00:24:16.580 cool

00:24:16.920 yeah

00:24:17.280 cool to

00:24:17.740 do

00:24:17.980 that would

00:24:19.260 be cool

00:24:19.600 to do

00:24:19.900 set up

00:24:20.040 like a

00:24:20.280 weekend

00:24:20.560 Pittsburgh

00:24:21.040 through DC

00:24:21.800 and then

00:24:22.100 just

00:24:22.260 walk

00:24:22.640 to

00:24:22.860 do a

00:24:23.940 little

00:24:24.040 Mike

00:24:24.300 Posner

00:24:24.760 you know

00:24:25.240 that

00:24:26.080 is

00:24:26.240 Mike

00:24:27.560 Posner

00:24:28.320 that's

00:24:28.760 such

00:24:28.940 a

00:24:29.080 deep

00:24:29.280 cut

00:24:29.580 if

00:24:31.360 you

00:24:31.460 don't

00:24:31.620 know

00:24:31.740 who

00:24:31.860 that

00:24:32.000 is

00:24:32.160 that's

00:24:32.420 took

00:24:32.700 a

00:24:32.860 pill

00:24:33.160 and a

00:24:33.480 visa

00:24:33.920 yeah

00:24:34.860 with

00:24:35.700 a

00:24:35.860 Vici

00:24:36.180 cousin

00:24:36.640 dude

00:24:37.100 yeah

00:24:39.480 but

00:24:39.740 he

00:24:40.280 he went

00:24:42.200 nuts

00:24:42.600 dude

00:24:42.880 he

00:24:43.120 couldn't

00:24:43.400 handle

00:24:43.740 he

00:24:44.200 was

00:24:44.380 really

00:24:44.760 big

00:24:45.100 he

00:24:45.260 was

00:24:45.400 really

00:24:45.720 famous

00:24:46.260 at

00:24:46.880 that

00:24:47.060 time

00:24:47.360 I

00:24:47.860 loved

00:24:48.240 his

00:24:48.400 music

00:24:48.780 I

00:24:49.800 loved

00:24:50.160 Mike

00:24:50.420 Posner

00:24:50.760 like

00:24:51.040 then

00:24:51.880 he

00:24:51.980 tried

00:24:52.160 to

00:24:52.260 make

00:24:52.400 a

00:24:52.500 new

00:24:52.620 album

00:24:52.900 after

00:24:53.200 he

00:24:53.340 did

00:24:53.480 that

00:24:53.660 whole

00:24:53.980 fucking

00:24:54.680 weird

00:24:55.060 walk

00:24:56.280 across

00:24:56.720 America

00:24:57.160 thing

00:24:57.640 yeah

00:24:59.920 that was

00:25:00.240 sad

00:25:00.660 but yeah

00:25:01.640 I could

00:25:01.900 do a

00:25:02.140 little

00:25:02.280 mini

00:25:02.540 Mike

00:25:02.800 Posner

00:25:03.180 I could

00:25:03.540 do

00:25:03.660 like

00:25:03.880 a

00:25:04.260 two

00:25:05.320 day

00:25:05.520 hike

00:25:05.920 and

00:25:07.100 weigh

00:25:07.540 weigh

00:25:07.560 weigh

00:25:07.580 yourself

00:25:07.960 at

00:25:08.080 the

00:25:08.160 beginning

00:25:08.520 and

00:25:09.520 at

00:25:09.720 the

00:25:09.860 end

00:25:10.200 give

00:25:10.880 your

00:25:11.060 fans

00:25:11.700 that

00:25:11.840 are

00:25:11.940 worried

00:25:12.140 about

00:25:12.320 your

00:25:12.460 health

00:25:12.780 how

00:25:13.880 the

00:25:14.060 fuck

00:25:14.360 would

00:25:14.540 I

00:25:14.760 like

00:25:15.740 how do

00:25:16.600 you do

00:25:16.900 that

00:25:17.120 though

00:25:17.280 you have

00:25:17.600 to

00:25:17.720 sleep

00:25:18.820 somewhere

00:25:19.420 you get

00:25:20.120 a hotel

00:25:20.600 along the

00:25:21.000 way

00:25:21.300 so

00:25:21.960 but there's

00:25:22.360 hotels

00:25:22.940 on the

00:25:23.900 yellow brick

00:25:24.460 road

00:25:24.700 here

00:25:24.940 take an

00:25:25.680 uber

00:25:25.900 from the

00:25:26.520 road

00:25:26.800 and then

00:25:27.060 go

00:25:27.300 back

00:25:27.780 you don't

00:25:29.820 have to

00:25:30.080 wander

00:25:30.600 through the

00:25:31.100 desert

00:25:31.460 still

00:25:31.940 be a

00:25:32.460 regular

00:25:32.700 person

00:25:33.200 that's

00:25:34.140 honestly

00:25:34.400 the

00:25:34.620 funniest

00:25:34.900 part

00:25:35.220 of

00:25:35.300 that

00:25:35.440 video

00:25:35.780 is

00:25:36.000 me

00:25:36.220 just

00:25:36.440 being

00:25:36.640 like

00:25:36.820 all

00:25:37.020 right

00:25:37.260 where's

00:25:37.600 the

00:25:37.740 fucking

00:25:38.060 uber

00:25:38.420 this is

00:25:38.960 horrible

00:25:39.440 put a

00:25:41.480 flag

00:25:41.880 down

00:25:42.140 I feel

00:25:42.460 like

00:25:42.580 it's

00:25:42.740 not

00:25:42.860 safe

00:25:43.340 on

00:25:43.520 those

00:25:43.740 like

00:25:43.920 from

00:25:44.100 like

00:25:44.300 animals

00:25:44.840 or

00:25:45.040 some

00:25:45.220 shit

00:25:45.460 I

00:25:45.820 forgot

00:25:46.580 what

00:25:47.540 it's

00:25:47.680 called

00:25:47.960 but

00:25:48.220 they

00:25:48.440 were

00:25:48.660 telling

00:25:49.380 me

00:25:49.620 look

00:25:49.760 at

00:25:49.960 it

00:25:50.180 I

00:25:51.520 actually

00:25:51.820 can't

00:25:52.220 my

00:25:52.380 phone

00:25:52.560 is

00:25:52.700 recording

00:25:53.020 this

00:25:53.200 podcast

00:25:53.740 okay

00:25:54.500 what's

00:25:54.860 it

00:25:54.980 called

00:25:55.320 DC

00:25:57.460 to

00:25:58.420 Pittsburgh

00:25:59.100 Pittsburgh

00:26:00.100 like the

00:26:02.500 Freedom

00:26:02.860 Trail

00:26:03.160 or

00:26:03.340 something

00:26:03.740 something

00:26:05.000 like

00:26:05.220 that

00:26:05.600 it

00:26:08.720 says

00:26:08.900 86

00:26:09.440 hours

00:26:10.040 to do

00:26:10.520 it

00:26:10.780 86

00:26:11.480 hour

00:26:11.880 walk

00:26:12.340 I

00:26:13.480 don't

00:26:13.640 I

00:26:13.760 don't

00:26:13.920 see

00:26:14.180 any

00:26:14.440 how

00:26:14.920 many

00:26:15.080 days

00:26:15.880 is

00:26:16.080 that

00:26:16.400 if

00:26:18.280 you

00:26:18.420 walk

00:26:18.760 24

00:26:19.440 hours

00:26:20.080 you

00:26:21.560 never

00:26:21.800 sleep

00:26:22.180 so

00:26:23.800 it

00:26:24.040 would

00:26:24.200 take

00:26:24.460 like

00:26:24.740 two

00:26:25.740 weeks

00:26:26.160 just

00:26:29.540 play

00:26:29.760 all the

00:26:30.020 little

00:26:30.220 towns

00:26:30.660 just

00:26:30.900 three

00:26:31.340 days

00:26:31.880 this

00:26:33.500 must

00:26:33.720 be

00:26:33.920 at

00:26:34.080 the

00:26:34.260 freedom

00:26:34.720 tour

00:26:35.100 there

00:26:36.420 are

00:26:36.640 like

00:26:36.880 weird

00:26:37.260 little

00:26:37.600 like

00:26:38.000 ways

00:26:38.820 to

00:26:39.000 get

00:26:39.180 there

00:26:39.400 somehow

00:26:39.760 it's

00:26:41.380 crazy

00:26:41.820 that's

00:26:46.940 nuts

00:26:47.260 that's

00:26:49.840 like a

00:26:50.100 zombie

00:26:50.400 apocalypse

00:26:50.940 walk

00:26:51.480 yeah

00:26:52.080 that's

00:26:53.980 that's

00:26:54.480 a story

00:26:54.860 you tell

00:26:55.180 on

00:26:55.340 Rogan

00:26:55.700 hey

00:26:55.880 this

00:26:56.060 time

00:26:56.340 I

00:26:56.500 walked

00:26:56.820 from

00:26:57.100 Pittsburgh

00:26:58.000 it's

00:27:01.240 a good

00:27:01.400 Rogan

00:27:01.700 story

00:27:02.080 and

00:27:02.360 then

00:27:02.440 we

00:27:02.520 got

00:27:02.660 caught

00:27:02.940 scuba

00:27:03.320 diving

00:27:03.680 in a

00:27:03.900 cave

00:27:04.000 or

00:27:04.820 I

00:27:07.020 have

00:27:07.280 to

00:27:07.400 actually

00:27:07.760 do

00:27:08.060 it

00:27:08.380 hey

00:27:10.280 I

00:27:10.440 thought

00:27:10.860 about

00:27:11.120 doing

00:27:11.420 this

00:27:11.960 I'm

00:27:14.380 a more

00:27:14.620 of a

00:27:14.900 stay

00:27:15.100 inside

00:27:15.480 the

00:27:15.660 house

00:27:15.920 type

00:27:16.200 of

00:27:16.320 guy

00:27:16.540 you

00:27:19.080 ever

00:27:19.220 think

00:27:19.660 about

00:27:20.000 almost

00:27:20.820 doing

00:27:21.980 a

00:27:22.140 Mike

00:27:22.340 poster

00:27:22.700 it's

00:27:26.060 so

00:27:26.260 funny

00:27:26.500 that

00:27:26.740 there's

00:27:27.200 like

00:27:27.400 I guess

00:27:28.060 the

00:27:28.260 neighbor

00:27:28.600 of

00:27:28.940 this

00:27:29.180 house

00:27:29.520 this

00:27:30.580 is

00:27:30.720 like

00:27:30.860 a

00:27:31.000 comedy

00:27:31.280 condo

00:27:31.820 for

00:27:33.980 zanies

00:27:34.540 and

00:27:36.880 the

00:27:37.880 neighbor

00:27:38.300 their

00:27:39.620 fire

00:27:40.160 alarm

00:27:40.460 keeps

00:27:40.760 beeping

00:27:41.100 in the

00:27:41.860 distance

00:27:42.340 so

00:27:45.140 not the

00:27:46.660 best

00:27:46.860 area

00:27:47.240 but

00:27:48.600 right

00:27:54.040 below

00:27:54.520 do

00:27:59.140 they

00:28:03.240 have

00:28:03.420 that

00:28:03.580 in

00:28:03.720 Germany

00:28:04.020 do

00:28:04.240 they

00:28:04.340 have

00:28:04.520 Hitler

00:28:04.860 Boulevard

00:28:05.380 you're

00:28:07.300 saying

00:28:07.640 MLK

00:28:08.280 is

00:28:08.480 the

00:28:08.660 Hitler

00:28:09.140 of

00:28:11.300 America

00:28:11.860 I

00:28:12.780 mean

00:28:17.060 no

00:28:18.160 he's

00:28:18.400 like

00:28:18.500 the

00:28:18.640 opposite

00:28:19.000 of

00:28:19.180 Hitler

00:28:19.420 but

00:28:19.880 white

00:28:21.980 people

00:28:22.380 and

00:28:22.980 black

00:28:23.220 Jewish

00:28:23.980 people

00:28:24.460 and

00:28:27.060 German

00:28:27.400 people

00:28:27.880 there

00:28:30.300 was

00:28:30.440 this

00:28:30.820 like

00:28:31.020 rabbi

00:28:31.460 that

00:28:31.620 marched

00:28:32.140 with

00:28:32.420 him

00:28:32.660 that

00:28:33.040 like

00:28:33.440 every

00:28:33.960 year

00:28:34.400 on

00:28:34.580 Martin

00:28:34.860 Luther

00:28:35.040 King

00:28:35.280 Day

00:28:35.400 in

00:28:35.480 the

00:28:35.580 Jewish

00:28:35.780 schools

00:28:36.060 they

00:28:36.220 always

00:28:36.360 started

00:28:36.520 like

00:28:36.680 oh

00:28:36.900 we

00:28:37.040 had

00:28:37.160 this

00:28:37.360 guy

00:28:37.680 who

00:28:37.860 was

00:28:38.100 there

00:28:38.520 look

00:28:38.780 how

00:28:38.980 great

00:28:39.480 we

00:28:39.660 are

00:28:39.960 it's

00:28:41.800 like

00:28:42.100 who

00:28:43.140 I think

00:28:44.240 Heschel

00:28:44.760 this

00:28:46.260 is

00:28:46.380 a

00:28:46.580 guy

00:28:46.980 that

00:28:47.580 would

00:28:47.820 come

00:28:48.020 to

00:28:48.100 your

00:28:48.240 school

00:28:48.560 no

00:28:49.800 he

00:28:50.100 would

00:28:50.280 just

00:28:50.500 he

00:28:50.640 was

00:28:50.800 just

00:28:50.960 a

00:28:51.100 guy

00:28:51.300 who

00:28:51.480 marched

00:28:51.800 with

00:28:51.980 Martin

00:28:52.220 Luther

00:28:52.460 King

00:28:52.820 and

00:28:53.620 every

00:28:53.860 year

00:28:54.100 in

00:28:54.320 school

00:28:55.100 they

00:28:55.340 would

00:28:55.500 tell

00:28:55.720 us

00:28:55.880 about

00:28:56.120 him

00:28:56.360 they'd

00:28:57.240 be

00:28:57.320 like

00:28:57.460 civil

00:28:57.680 rights

00:28:57.980 and

00:28:58.120 also

00:28:58.480 we

00:28:58.780 were

00:28:58.960 there

00:28:59.160 we

00:28:59.300 did

00:28:59.500 it

00:29:00.280 it

00:29:01.020 was

00:29:01.180 us

00:29:01.720 don't

00:29:02.640 don't

00:29:03.060 get

00:29:03.260 me

00:29:03.420 started

00:29:03.800 on

00:29:04.020 this

00:29:04.260 you

00:29:04.700 people

00:29:05.160 okay

00:29:06.700 don't

00:29:08.860 get

00:29:09.000 me

00:29:09.160 started

00:29:09.580 I'm

00:29:11.260 anti

00:29:13.140 semitic

00:29:14.820 self

00:29:16.640 hating

00:29:17.000 anti

00:29:17.340 semitic

00:29:17.900 you

00:29:20.040 never

00:29:20.220 did

00:29:20.380 like

00:29:20.540 Jewish

00:29:20.860 stuff

00:29:21.280 huh

00:29:21.540 Jewish

00:29:22.440 what

00:29:22.800 Jewish

00:29:23.280 stuff

00:29:23.760 we had

00:29:25.540 a

00:29:25.860 couple

00:29:26.300 fucking

00:29:26.820 yarmulkes

00:29:28.620 and a

00:29:29.140 candle

00:29:29.660 yeah

00:29:30.420 we did

00:29:31.480 a

00:29:31.620 menorah

00:29:32.080 but

00:29:32.280 then

00:29:32.420 it

00:29:32.520 almost

00:29:32.720 burned

00:29:32.940 the

00:29:33.080 house

00:29:33.300 down

00:29:33.540 almost

00:29:33.820 burnt

00:29:34.040 the

00:29:34.140 whole

00:29:34.300 mantel

00:29:34.600 piece

00:29:34.820 down

00:29:35.120 so

00:29:35.640 we

00:29:35.840 just

00:29:36.020 I

00:29:36.180 was

00:29:36.300 like

00:29:36.520 kind of

00:29:36.880 a sign

00:29:37.240 from

00:29:37.440 god

00:29:37.800 to

00:29:38.300 stop

00:29:38.740 yeah

00:29:39.500 but it's

00:29:40.120 not a

00:29:40.400 good

00:29:40.520 religion

00:29:40.940 no

00:29:42.640 but it

00:29:43.060 was

00:29:43.180 like

00:29:43.360 we

00:29:43.600 left

00:29:43.940 the

00:29:44.120 candles

00:29:44.420 burning

00:29:44.780 it was

00:29:44.980 a

00:29:45.100 sign

00:29:45.260 from

00:29:45.420 god

00:29:45.720 that

00:29:45.880 like

00:29:46.180 you

00:29:47.220 didn't

00:29:48.280 take

00:29:48.780 it

00:29:48.960 seriously

00:29:49.400 like

00:29:49.780 you

00:29:49.900 didn't

00:29:50.860 you

00:29:52.020 didn't

00:29:52.220 like

00:29:52.460 you

00:29:53.100 should

00:29:53.260 have

00:29:53.400 blown

00:29:53.680 out

00:29:53.860 the

00:29:53.980 menorah

00:29:54.320 after

00:29:54.560 the

00:29:54.740 ceremony

00:29:55.100 or

00:29:55.280 is

00:29:55.360 it

00:29:55.460 supposed

00:29:55.620 to

00:29:55.740 burn

00:29:55.840 no

00:29:56.100 you

00:29:56.340 gotta

00:29:56.560 leave

00:29:56.880 it

00:29:57.440 oh

00:29:57.780 Jesus

00:29:58.460 Christ

00:29:59.340 you

00:30:00.180 have

00:30:00.520 to

00:30:00.720 you

00:30:00.880 can't

00:30:01.140 blow

00:30:01.340 that

00:30:01.560 shit

00:30:01.740 out

00:30:01.960 you

00:30:02.100 gotta

00:30:02.240 let

00:30:02.480 it

00:30:02.600 you

00:30:02.720 know

00:30:02.840 it's

00:30:03.000 gotta

00:30:03.120 last

00:30:03.400 for

00:30:03.540 at

00:30:03.620 least

00:30:03.740 30

00:30:04.000 minutes

00:30:04.360 30

00:30:05.600 minutes

00:30:05.940 but

00:30:06.160 this

00:30:06.420 is

00:30:06.560 like

00:30:06.720 we

00:30:06.860 left

00:30:07.200 it

00:30:07.340 alone

00:30:07.680 and

00:30:07.860 like

00:30:08.000 went

00:30:08.200 about

00:30:08.420 our

00:30:08.560 night

00:30:08.860 you're

00:30:09.940 supposed

00:30:10.060 to

00:30:10.200 blow

00:30:10.420 it

00:30:10.560 out

00:30:10.720 after

00:30:11.140 you're

00:30:12.680 done

00:30:13.060 with

00:30:13.280 you're

00:30:13.900 supposed

00:30:14.080 to

00:30:14.260 leave

00:30:14.420 it

00:30:14.580 yeah

00:30:15.220 no

00:30:15.720 but

00:30:15.880 it's

00:30:16.080 like

00:30:16.200 it

00:30:16.320 brings

00:30:16.520 the

00:30:16.680 family

00:30:16.940 you

00:30:17.160 light

00:30:17.480 it

00:30:17.620 up

00:30:17.820 and

00:30:18.000 then

00:30:18.200 you

00:30:18.420 can't

00:30:18.720 leave

00:30:19.000 it's

00:30:19.200 gonna

00:30:19.320 so

00:30:19.500 you

00:30:19.640 have

00:30:19.800 to

00:30:19.900 all

00:30:20.040 be

00:30:20.240 together

00:30:20.560 in a

00:30:20.860 place

00:30:20.980 but

00:30:21.380 we

00:30:21.500 all

00:30:21.700 left

00:30:22.140 and

00:30:23.140 then

00:30:23.400 my

00:30:23.880 parents

00:30:24.140 got a

00:30:24.400 divorce

00:30:24.760 because

00:30:26.140 of the

00:30:26.480 fire

00:30:26.740 no

00:30:27.540 it was

00:30:28.060 part

00:30:28.300 of it

00:30:28.680 I

00:30:29.860 feel

00:30:29.980 like

00:30:30.100 my

00:30:30.260 dad

00:30:30.560 was

00:30:30.800 just

00:30:31.200 upstairs

00:30:32.020 probably

00:30:36.180 jerking

00:30:36.580 off

00:30:36.820 on his

00:30:37.140 original

00:30:38.220 Dells

00:30:38.920 Dells

00:30:42.420 he had

00:30:43.380 like

00:30:43.540 those

00:30:43.760 I

00:30:44.120 remember

00:30:44.320 I

00:30:44.480 think

00:30:44.620 he

00:30:44.760 bought

00:30:45.000 a

00:30:45.120 computer

00:30:45.480 it

00:30:45.680 was

00:30:45.780 like

00:30:45.920 $10,000

00:30:46.640 at the

00:30:47.420 time

00:30:47.700 it

00:30:48.020 was

00:30:48.100 like

00:30:48.200 a

00:30:48.320 laptop

00:30:48.660 it

00:30:48.980 was

00:30:49.080 like

00:30:49.220 this

00:30:49.460 thick

00:30:49.780 that's

00:30:51.820 crazy

00:30:52.160 because

00:30:52.360 that's

00:30:52.580 like

00:30:52.840 $10,000

00:30:54.640 then

00:30:55.260 is worth

00:30:56.600 what

00:30:58.280 $50,000

00:30:58.920 $60,000

00:30:59.480 now

00:30:59.700 he actually

00:31:00.240 got a

00:31:00.580 computer

00:31:00.920 for $10,000

00:31:01.720 that's

00:31:02.580 how much

00:31:02.780 laptops

00:31:03.240 were

00:31:03.520 in

00:31:03.660 1996

00:31:04.340 jeez

00:31:05.860 I'm

00:31:08.060 pretty

00:31:08.260 sure

00:31:08.640 hey

00:31:10.000 Siri

00:31:10.340 how

00:31:12.060 much

00:31:12.300 was

00:31:12.440 fuck

00:31:13.780 I hate

00:31:14.460 when

00:31:14.600 you

00:31:14.700 interrupt

00:31:15.000 me

00:31:15.420 okay

00:31:17.180 hey

00:31:18.700 Siri

00:31:19.140 what

00:31:23.320 am I

00:31:23.500 asking

00:31:23.820 I

00:31:25.480 didn't

00:31:25.720 get

00:31:25.900 that

00:31:26.140 could

00:31:26.440 you

00:31:26.540 try

00:31:26.760 again

00:31:27.120 how

00:31:28.520 much

00:31:28.720 were

00:31:28.860 laptops

00:31:29.560 how

00:31:30.560 much

00:31:30.920 were

00:31:31.280 the

00:31:31.500 first

00:31:32.240 laptops

00:31:33.060 how

00:31:33.300 much

00:31:33.520 did

00:31:33.680 they

00:31:33.860 cost

00:31:34.600 Adam

00:31:36.640 Osborne

00:31:37.020 built

00:31:37.300 the

00:31:37.460 first

00:31:37.700 laptop

00:31:38.180 in

00:31:38.360 1981

00:31:38.960 and

00:31:39.480 named

00:31:39.720 it

00:31:39.840 Osborne

00:31:40.240 one

00:31:40.520 back

00:31:40.960 then

00:31:41.260 it

00:31:41.480 was

00:31:41.620 priced

00:31:41.980 at

00:31:42.180 nearly

00:31:42.460 $2,000

00:31:43.140 and came

00:31:44.140 with a

00:31:44.420 small

00:31:44.640 the

00:31:45.860 fuck

00:31:46.340 none of

00:31:47.720 my

00:31:47.860 facts

00:31:48.220 are

00:31:48.380 correct

00:31:48.920 my

00:31:51.580 dad

00:31:51.920 bought

00:31:52.140 a

00:31:52.320 laptop

00:31:52.700 for

00:31:53.060 $40,000

00:31:54.240 right

00:31:55.280 it was

00:31:56.000 1996

00:31:56.520 you don't

00:31:57.380 understand

00:31:57.840 but that

00:31:59.020 is actually

00:31:59.540 a thing

00:32:00.000 that

00:32:00.240 laptops

00:32:00.820 were

00:32:01.000 like

00:32:01.280 that

00:32:01.880 expensive

00:32:02.420 yeah

00:32:03.280 I mean

00:32:03.600 that

00:32:03.780 was

00:32:03.940 also

00:32:04.220 a lot

00:32:04.440 more

00:32:04.580 money

00:32:04.800 back

00:32:05.020 then

00:32:06.020 $10,000

00:32:08.340 laptop

00:32:09.500 1996

00:32:11.500 1996

00:32:15.200 the

00:32:16.000 concept

00:32:16.440 of a

00:32:16.800 $10,000

00:32:17.220 laptop

00:32:17.660 would have

00:32:18.100 been

00:32:18.260 relatively

00:32:18.800 uncommon

00:32:19.620 okay

00:32:23.980 I don't

00:32:24.660 know

00:32:24.880 it was

00:32:32.640 an

00:32:32.780 apple

00:32:33.120 it would

00:32:33.420 have

00:32:33.500 been

00:32:33.600 an

00:32:33.760 apple

00:32:34.060 I like

00:32:43.200 how

00:32:43.380 this

00:32:43.740 we start

00:32:44.280 talking

00:32:44.560 about

00:32:44.760 this

00:32:44.960 as a

00:32:45.220 distraction

00:32:45.680 from

00:32:46.140 like

00:32:46.960 your

00:32:47.080 parents

00:32:47.440 getting

00:32:47.680 divorced

00:32:48.300 it was

00:32:49.860 like

00:32:50.140 my

00:32:50.680 parents

00:32:51.020 got

00:32:51.220 divorced

00:32:51.520 so

00:32:52.540 laptops

00:32:53.220 were

00:32:53.500 $10,000

00:32:54.300 I just

00:32:57.400 saw

00:32:57.620 this

00:32:57.880 the

00:32:58.460 price

00:32:58.820 is

00:32:59.040 $666

00:33:00.900 just

00:33:01.540 666

00:33:02.260 that's

00:33:04.700 kind of

00:33:05.080 crazy

00:33:05.480 that I

00:33:05.940 numbers

00:33:07.800 mean

00:33:08.140 shit

00:33:08.380 when you

00:33:08.800 see

00:33:09.020 like

00:33:09.240 a

00:33:09.360 number

00:33:09.640 a lot

00:33:10.080 like

00:33:10.360 I

00:33:10.500 see

00:33:10.700 11-11

00:33:11.240 a lot

00:33:11.820 that was

00:33:14.100 my uncle's

00:33:14.520 birthday

00:33:14.900 who

00:33:17.700 9-11

00:33:18.160 you're

00:33:20.260 a clone

00:33:20.720 my entire

00:33:23.160 family was

00:33:23.800 born on

00:33:24.420 something

00:33:25.160 11

00:33:25.600 we're

00:33:28.040 only

00:33:28.300 born on

00:33:28.740 the

00:33:28.840 11s

00:33:29.560 that's

00:33:31.140 the

00:33:31.280 rule

00:33:31.780 yeah

00:33:36.700 what did

00:33:38.120 I just

00:33:38.440 say about

00:33:38.860 that

00:33:39.580 666

00:33:41.580 pick up

00:33:42.860 6

00:33:43.160 yeah

00:33:43.440 so

00:33:43.920 your

00:33:47.820 parents

00:33:48.060 never

00:33:48.300 divorced

00:33:48.760 no

00:33:49.520 my

00:33:50.660 mom

00:33:50.860 tried

00:33:51.180 to

00:33:51.340 a few

00:33:51.580 months

00:33:51.820 ago

00:33:52.200 I

00:33:53.220 mean

00:33:53.340 not

00:33:53.540 not

00:33:53.960 legally

00:33:54.340 but

00:33:54.640 she

00:33:54.780 like

00:33:55.040 just

00:33:55.300 left

00:33:55.700 and

00:33:57.180 then

00:33:57.280 she

00:33:57.380 came

00:33:57.540 back

00:33:57.860 so

00:33:59.180 hmm

00:34:00.580 they always

00:34:01.160 come

00:34:01.380 back

00:34:01.700 the cat

00:34:03.300 came

00:34:03.540 back

00:34:03.880 and

00:34:05.680 I

00:34:06.040 mean

00:34:06.180 my

00:34:06.360 dad

00:34:06.620 physically

00:34:07.200 it

00:34:08.300 was

00:34:08.500 he

00:34:09.060 could

00:34:09.280 he

00:34:09.600 could

00:34:10.020 not

00:34:10.320 that'd be

00:34:10.740 kind of

00:34:11.020 funny

00:34:11.240 if he

00:34:11.500 tried

00:34:11.740 to

00:34:11.880 leave

00:34:12.040 my

00:34:12.220 mom

00:34:12.540 he

00:34:14.120 literally

00:34:14.340 wouldn't

00:34:14.520 be able

00:34:14.720 to go

00:34:14.980 anywhere

00:34:15.340 can we

00:34:17.340 talk about

00:34:17.720 the fact

00:34:18.120 that I

00:34:18.460 ordered

00:34:18.820 $300

00:34:19.640 worth of

00:34:20.420 uber eats

00:34:20.960 no we

00:34:21.340 already

00:34:21.520 talked

00:34:21.780 about

00:34:21.980 that

00:34:22.360 it's a

00:34:23.420 king's

00:34:23.880 meal

00:34:24.220 you gotta

00:34:26.120 treat

00:34:26.360 yourself

00:34:26.680 sometimes

00:34:27.140 sometimes

00:34:27.480 you gotta

00:34:27.920 if you're

00:34:32.000 like in a

00:34:32.680 situation where

00:34:33.320 you're not

00:34:33.620 making enough

00:34:34.160 money on

00:34:34.620 something

00:34:34.920 I feel

00:34:35.400 like you

00:34:35.640 almost have

00:34:36.040 to like

00:34:36.360 spend

00:34:36.720 more

00:34:37.200 money

00:34:38.420 to like

00:34:40.640 generate

00:34:41.200 that

00:34:41.540 momentum

00:34:42.020 it's like

00:34:43.420 money's

00:34:43.840 like

00:34:43.960 a

00:34:44.140 current

00:34:44.460 you gotta

00:34:44.880 look

00:34:45.200 Jewish

00:34:47.960 magic

00:34:48.420 and you

00:34:49.860 gotta stay

00:34:50.260 inside

00:34:50.760 you gotta

00:34:51.600 stay

00:34:51.900 inside

00:34:52.540 I'm

00:34:53.680 going

00:34:53.840 I'm

00:34:54.060 going

00:34:54.220 staying

00:34:54.580 inside

00:34:55.100 though

00:34:55.280 like

00:34:55.540 if we

00:34:56.020 had

00:34:56.160 gone

00:34:56.420 out

00:34:56.640 it

00:34:56.780 would

00:34:56.880 have

00:34:56.960 been

00:34:57.040 the same

00:34:57.380 price

00:34:57.680 as

00:34:57.840 ordering

00:34:58.280 a nice

00:34:58.860 dinner

00:34:59.200 would have

00:35:01.580 been

00:35:01.700 $300

00:35:02.340 to go

00:35:03.000 out

00:35:03.320 in

00:35:04.100 Nashville

00:35:04.500 yeah

00:35:04.800 probably

00:35:05.360 for

00:35:06.580 if we

00:35:07.020 actually

00:35:07.500 went

00:35:07.800 out

00:35:08.100 like

00:35:08.400 till

00:35:08.620 like

00:35:08.820 2am

00:35:09.440 and drank

00:35:10.060 which

00:35:10.540 we

00:35:10.820 wouldn't

00:35:11.080 have

00:35:11.240 done

00:35:11.440 anyway

00:35:11.780 but

00:35:12.040 if

00:35:13.160 we

00:35:13.380 actually

00:35:13.740 did

00:35:14.020 that

00:35:14.360 it

00:35:15.420 would

00:35:15.560 be

00:35:15.720 like

00:35:16.000 at

00:35:16.260 least

00:35:16.680 over

00:35:18.080 well

00:35:18.460 okay

00:35:18.760 so

00:35:19.020 the

00:35:19.180 uber

00:35:19.420 there

00:35:19.660 and

00:35:19.780 back

00:35:20.120 that's

00:35:20.680 probably

00:35:21.160 30 bucks

00:35:22.000 each way

00:35:22.680 40 bucks

00:35:23.480 yeah

00:35:24.140 then

00:35:25.800 some of

00:35:26.900 the bars

00:35:27.200 have cover

00:35:27.680 charge

00:35:28.180 so that's

00:35:28.600 20 bucks

00:35:29.420 drinks

00:35:30.240 are gonna

00:35:30.520 be like

00:35:30.920 10

00:35:31.340 15 bucks

00:35:32.600 a pop

00:35:34.200 i'm

00:35:38.560 i'm

00:35:38.580 going

00:35:38.740 tomorrow

00:35:39.060 night

00:35:39.340 i'm

00:35:39.880 going

00:35:40.000 to

00:35:40.100 see

00:35:40.220 mashville

00:35:40.760 i'll

00:35:42.080 leave

00:35:42.280 you

00:35:42.420 here

00:35:42.760 i'll

00:35:43.260 leave

00:35:43.460 you

00:35:43.600 on

00:35:43.760 your

00:35:43.920 couch

00:35:44.300 i'll

00:35:45.500 go

00:35:45.600 i think

00:35:45.940 it'll

00:35:46.120 be

00:35:46.240 better

00:35:46.460 tomorrow

00:35:46.840 to be

00:35:47.220 honest

00:35:47.640 yeah

00:35:48.040 probably

00:35:48.320 will

00:35:48.520 be

00:35:48.800 saturday

00:35:49.900 night

00:35:50.160 honestly

00:35:50.660 it was

00:35:50.860 probably

00:35:51.100 pretty

00:35:51.540 good

00:35:51.800 tonight

00:35:52.080 probably

00:35:53.100 missed

00:35:53.380 a good

00:35:53.620 time

00:35:53.940 that's

00:35:54.320 fine

00:35:54.600 but

00:35:56.560 i mean

00:35:58.700 it's

00:35:58.860 more fun

00:35:59.340 if you

00:35:59.520 have

00:35:59.640 more

00:35:59.800 people

00:36:00.160 like

00:36:00.340 going

00:36:00.520 with

00:36:00.700 two

00:36:00.880 people

00:36:01.220 is

00:36:01.380 kind

00:36:01.540 of

00:36:01.620 like

00:36:01.900 i

00:36:04.040 literally

00:36:04.980 just

00:36:05.200 want

00:36:05.320 to

00:36:05.420 watch

00:36:05.700 live

00:36:05.960 music

00:36:06.260 i

00:36:07.220 would

00:36:07.340 go

00:36:07.460 by

00:36:07.600 myself

00:36:08.100 just

00:36:10.020 to

00:36:10.180 just

00:36:10.420 stand

00:36:11.040 there

00:36:11.260 soak

00:36:11.580 it

00:36:11.740 in

00:36:11.940 you

00:36:12.100 know

00:36:12.360 there's

00:36:14.040 a

00:36:14.160 guy

00:36:14.460 who

00:36:14.680 nobody

00:36:14.980 knows

00:36:15.280 who

00:36:15.440 he

00:36:15.580 is

00:36:15.900 playing

00:36:16.300 a

00:36:16.500 shitty

00:36:16.700 song

00:36:17.200 in

00:36:17.360 a

00:36:17.480 shitty

00:36:17.680 bar

00:36:18.060 wow

00:36:18.620 that's

00:36:20.200 what

00:36:20.320 live

00:36:20.560 music

00:36:20.880 is

00:36:21.240 i

00:36:22.460 mean

00:36:22.600 maybe

00:36:22.900 then i'll

00:36:23.140 go to

00:36:23.340 another

00:36:23.580 bar

00:36:23.860 i'll

00:36:24.040 find

00:36:24.220 one

00:36:24.380 that's

00:36:24.580 good

00:36:24.800 you

00:36:24.960 know

00:36:25.160 it

00:36:26.400 might

00:36:26.560 be

00:36:26.700 terrible

00:36:27.040 the

00:36:27.320 barstool

00:36:27.740 sports

00:36:28.160 bar

00:36:28.400 was

00:36:28.680 was

00:36:29.000 cool

00:36:29.300 yeah

00:36:30.160 they have

00:36:30.540 one

00:36:30.740 yeah

00:36:31.180 that's

00:36:32.140 cool

00:36:32.400 we could

00:36:34.240 still

00:36:34.440 go

00:36:34.820 no i

00:36:35.680 don't

00:36:35.760 want to

00:36:35.940 go

00:36:36.040 anymore

00:36:36.300 tonight

00:36:36.720 it's

00:36:38.200 almost

00:36:38.380 1 a.m.

00:36:39.820 20 gets

00:36:40.340 fun

00:36:40.700 i'll

00:36:42.960 go

00:36:43.100 tomorrow

00:36:43.420 we're

00:36:45.040 not gonna

00:36:45.340 go

00:36:45.560 it's

00:36:45.780 not gonna

00:36:46.020 be

00:36:46.200 fun

00:36:46.440 it's

00:36:47.200 all

00:36:47.520 like

00:36:47.980 it's

00:36:48.160 like

00:36:48.480 it's

00:36:49.040 bachelorettes

00:36:49.860 it's

00:36:50.120 kids

00:36:50.640 it's

00:36:52.240 you

00:36:52.720 know

00:36:52.960 there is

00:36:57.040 a lot

00:36:57.260 of old

00:36:57.520 people

00:36:57.760 too

00:36:58.000 actually

00:36:58.380 a lot

00:36:59.800 of old

00:37:00.100 people

00:37:00.340 just

00:37:00.600 drunk

00:37:00.960 being

00:37:01.160 like

00:37:01.420 it's

00:37:04.520 a nightmare

00:37:04.960 complete

00:37:05.780 nightmare

00:37:06.260 do you

00:37:09.700 hear that

00:37:10.040 do you

00:37:10.240 hear that

00:37:10.600 yeah i

00:37:11.120 heard that

00:37:11.520 is that

00:37:11.900 is that

00:37:12.260 coming from

00:37:12.700 inside

00:37:13.360 i hope

00:37:13.860 it's not

00:37:14.280 coming from

00:37:14.780 in here

00:37:15.180 would that

00:37:19.440 make us

00:37:19.760 black

00:37:20.180 no it

00:37:22.080 makes us

00:37:22.480 dead

00:37:22.960 if

00:37:23.480 the

00:37:23.860 fucking

00:37:24.200 there's a

00:37:27.660 fire

00:37:28.000 that would

00:37:30.440 make us

00:37:30.700 black

00:37:31.060 black

00:37:32.840 oh my

00:37:36.460 god

00:37:36.740 that guy

00:37:37.260 tonight

00:37:37.780 some guy

00:37:38.960 was gonna

00:37:39.320 take a

00:37:39.700 picture at

00:37:40.080 the meet

00:37:40.340 and greet

00:37:40.600 but ended

00:37:41.020 up

00:37:41.300 taking a

00:37:42.780 video

00:37:43.160 of me

00:37:45.180 and then

00:37:45.580 he's like

00:37:45.960 this is my

00:37:46.460 favorite comedian

00:37:47.240 ben barkis

00:37:48.220 i was like

00:37:49.860 holy shit

00:37:50.800 this guy doesn't

00:37:53.200 even know how to

00:37:53.700 say my name

00:37:54.300 that is

00:37:55.340 funny

00:37:55.540 i have been

00:37:56.000 trolling you

00:37:56.580 no

00:37:57.540 maybe

00:37:59.300 but i

00:38:01.380 haven't seen

00:38:02.440 like i've seen

00:38:05.620 that before

00:38:06.100 i've seen

00:38:06.520 people like

00:38:07.060 on the street

00:38:07.600 be like

00:38:07.880 you're ben

00:38:08.380 bankis

00:38:09.180 or like

00:38:09.680 they don't

00:38:10.040 really know

00:38:10.620 how to

00:38:10.860 say my

00:38:11.160 name

00:38:11.440 men

00:38:12.420 bankis

00:38:13.100 well there

00:38:15.720 used to be

00:38:16.180 so there

00:38:16.560 was like

00:38:16.860 this jewish

00:38:17.580 developer in

00:38:18.260 like toronto

00:38:18.800 called

00:38:19.040 mankees

00:38:19.820 like i think

00:38:21.380 it's jew

00:38:21.840 mankees

00:38:22.820 mankees

00:38:23.400 and like i'd

00:38:24.880 be like

00:38:25.200 ben

00:38:25.480 i'd be like

00:38:26.360 ben

00:38:26.560 bankis

00:38:27.000 yeah

00:38:27.220 menchies

00:38:28.080 the yogurt

00:38:28.720 place

00:38:29.280 no

00:38:30.260 menkees

00:38:31.500 and when i was

00:38:32.800 in real estate

00:38:33.320 i'd be like

00:38:33.660 my name is

00:38:34.020 ben bankis

00:38:34.580 and they'd be

00:38:34.820 like ben

00:38:35.180 bankis

00:38:35.920 like they were

00:38:36.440 like oh

00:38:36.880 he's oh

00:38:37.400 oh

00:38:37.680 bankis

00:38:38.280 he's a

00:38:38.620 bankis

00:38:39.020 i was like

00:38:39.680 no i'm a

00:38:40.020 bankis

00:38:40.420 like oh

00:38:40.780 what the

00:38:41.060 fuck

00:38:41.260 is that

00:38:41.680 it is a

00:38:44.260 very jewish

00:38:44.780 sounding name

00:38:45.380 bank

00:38:45.800 bankis

00:38:47.560 yeah

00:38:48.060 fuck

00:38:49.600 should have

00:38:50.540 changed it

00:38:51.020 a long time

00:38:51.500 ago

00:38:51.780 yeah

00:38:52.640 ben vegas

00:38:53.560 ben vegas

00:38:55.200 ben vegas

00:38:56.880 is a rapist

00:38:57.840 ben vegas

00:39:00.840 no because

00:39:01.600 that's what

00:39:02.080 my siri

00:39:03.200 thinks

00:39:03.920 like

00:39:04.940 anytime i'm

00:39:06.320 like ben

00:39:06.760 bankis

00:39:07.140 or like the

00:39:07.580 captions on

00:39:08.160 instagram

00:39:08.540 it goes

00:39:09.220 ben vegas

00:39:10.280 yeah

00:39:11.620 changes it

00:39:12.240 to ben vegas

00:39:12.880 i'm like

00:39:13.180 that kind of

00:39:13.560 sounds like

00:39:14.020 ben vegas

00:39:14.780 even if a

00:39:16.160 ben

00:39:16.480 vegas

00:39:17.360 las vegas

00:39:19.260 you know

00:39:19.600 las vegas

00:39:20.340 is ben vegas

00:39:21.460 you just

00:39:24.920 come out

00:39:25.300 like a

00:39:26.800 like a

00:39:27.140 jacket

00:39:27.500 like an

00:39:27.960 orange

00:39:28.460 fucking

00:39:28.940 fly

00:39:30.020 like

00:39:30.360 when i'm

00:39:30.760 60 and i

00:39:31.620 do like a

00:39:32.360 vegas run

00:39:32.980 i'll be like

00:39:33.560 i'm changing

00:39:35.120 my name

00:39:35.520 legally to

00:39:36.020 ben vegas

00:39:36.600 just put me

00:39:38.400 on as

00:39:38.640 ben vegas

00:39:39.160 that would

00:39:41.420 be crazy

00:39:42.180 imagine i

00:39:42.640 have to go

00:39:43.060 through a

00:39:43.600 name change

00:39:44.200 like now

00:39:44.780 just be

00:39:45.440 like fuck

00:39:46.040 it i

00:39:47.480 almost made

00:39:47.960 it but i

00:39:48.300 think ben

00:39:48.980 vegas

00:39:49.420 it's gotta

00:39:50.500 be ben

00:39:50.840 vegas

00:39:51.240 just right

00:39:52.300 now

00:39:52.620 would that

00:39:53.700 be crazy

00:39:54.220 i mean

00:39:55.060 make people

00:39:55.860 talk about

00:39:56.360 you you

00:39:57.140 change your

00:39:57.840 name every

00:39:58.240 month

00:39:58.540 that's like

00:40:00.780 that one

00:40:01.320 basketball player

00:40:02.160 that changed

00:40:02.620 his name to

00:40:03.220 meta world

00:40:04.200 piece

00:40:04.520 yeah

00:40:04.880 run our

00:40:05.700 test

00:40:06.000 run our

00:40:06.400 test

00:40:06.740 he had a

00:40:08.080 cool name

00:40:08.520 to begin with

00:40:08.980 run our

00:40:09.340 test is a

00:40:09.900 cool name

00:40:10.300 i think he

00:40:11.640 changed his

00:40:12.080 name again

00:40:12.500 from meta

00:40:12.860 world

00:40:13.100 piece

00:40:13.360 though

00:40:13.520 yeah

00:40:13.800 but i

00:40:16.700 could just

00:40:17.260 be

00:40:17.800 ben vegas

00:40:19.880 ben

00:40:20.620 you heard ben

00:40:21.200 bankus

00:40:21.600 change his

00:40:22.000 name to

00:40:22.420 what

00:40:22.660 ben vegas

00:40:23.440 shut up

00:40:24.720 you're serious

00:40:25.280 he actually

00:40:25.800 changed his

00:40:26.240 name to

00:40:26.460 ben vegas

00:40:26.840 yeah

00:40:27.100 he's ben

00:40:28.380 vegas

00:40:28.700 now

00:40:28.960 look at his

00:40:30.180 instagram

00:40:30.520 ben vegas

00:40:31.620 what the

00:40:32.180 fuck

00:40:32.580 it's ben

00:40:34.440 vegas

00:40:34.880 yeah i think

00:40:36.000 you have to

00:40:36.620 do this

00:40:37.260 and then the

00:40:39.160 next month

00:40:39.600 it's ben

00:40:39.960 blank

00:40:40.280 ben

00:40:42.560 blankets

00:40:43.300 change your

00:40:45.300 picture

00:40:45.640 dude ben

00:40:46.200 vegas

00:40:46.640 sounds kind

00:40:47.500 of sick

00:40:47.940 yeah

00:40:49.160 that is a

00:40:51.140 good thing

00:40:51.440 people will

00:40:51.860 be like it

00:40:52.400 would be so

00:40:52.800 off-putting

00:40:53.380 though

00:40:53.740 i mean

00:40:55.280 what's your

00:40:59.420 stage name

00:41:00.040 it's different

00:41:01.160 than my legal

00:41:01.740 name it's

00:41:02.280 ben vegas

00:41:03.180 ben vagus

00:41:04.380 just start doing

00:41:05.460 finger guns

00:41:06.180 ben vegas

00:41:07.020 does finger

00:41:07.480 guns

00:41:08.080 no more chinese

00:41:11.260 accent but we

00:41:11.960 got this

00:41:12.480 shooter mcgavin

00:41:13.800 ben vegas

00:41:17.100 ben vegas

00:41:17.700 loses a lot

00:41:18.460 of money

00:41:18.840 every month

00:41:19.600 i actually

00:41:23.140 a friend of

00:41:24.800 mine changed

00:41:25.660 his name

00:41:26.080 his name

00:41:26.500 was always

00:41:26.820 benny

00:41:27.300 and then we

00:41:27.820 graduated high

00:41:28.460 school he's

00:41:28.840 like i'm ben

00:41:29.420 from now on

00:41:30.120 and he changed

00:41:31.180 his name on

00:41:31.900 facebook it was

00:41:32.660 like a big deal

00:41:33.300 and then me and

00:41:34.200 a bunch of other

00:41:34.700 guys all changed

00:41:35.400 our names to ben

00:41:36.340 also because he

00:41:38.160 posted about it he

00:41:39.020 was he didn't

00:41:39.860 he just like changed

00:41:40.780 it because he's

00:41:41.100 like i'm an adult

00:41:41.620 now so we all

00:41:42.220 changed the name

00:41:42.620 to ben we're

00:41:42.980 like hey ari is

00:41:44.160 too childish of a

00:41:44.960 name please call

00:41:45.700 me ben from now

00:41:47.240 on but i didn't

00:41:48.180 realize that you

00:41:49.760 can't change it

00:41:50.440 back for three

00:41:51.060 months unless you

00:41:52.440 fucking show them

00:41:53.080 a passport so i

00:41:55.200 was just ben

00:41:55.760 shilled for three

00:41:56.960 months

00:41:57.360 i'm just just

00:42:01.860 laughing every time

00:42:02.920 i look at you i'm

00:42:03.680 like this guy's a

00:42:04.400 clone

00:42:04.840 why is she's so

00:42:09.260 right you're a

00:42:10.820 fucking clone

00:42:11.600 jesus just look

00:42:13.820 into my eyes

00:42:14.440 there's no soul

00:42:15.120 comedy clone this

00:42:16.040 guy was built to

00:42:16.860 open it's like

00:42:18.720 existence

00:42:19.880 I don't care what

00:42:20.300 this he needs to

00:42:20.880 be at

00:42:21.480 just like this

00:42:22.920 i don't care what

00:42:24.320 i don't care what

00:42:25.200 these people

00:42:25.720 like theyskie all

00:42:26.300 like these people

00:42:26.460 because i just

00:42:26.820 like this

00:42:27.620 this crucifix as

00:42:29.340 you when they're in

00:42:29.640 or you can just

00:42:29.920 over there

00:42:29.940 you you can work

00:42:30.560 on but i think

Bankas Podcast - August 19, 2025

Bankas Podcast #102

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