Bankas Podcast - Baroon at Rura Rounge ｜ The Bankas Show - #015

00:00:00.000 a little chinese spy balloon that's made in america just like a chinese kid making the 1.00

00:00:04.160 balloon that's causing the war he's gonna have to fight it yeah that was a big balloon how many 0.99

00:00:09.040 fucking how many muslims did that how many jing jang they made it in jing jang i'm pretty sure 1.00

00:00:15.120 that's where they that's where their nasa is it's next to the death camp space nasa 0.99

00:00:22.100 welcome to the show everybody um we are here in a beautiful place that um we didn't do a show last

00:00:31.540 week because i was getting the bag securing the bag is that what you said yeah secured the bag

00:00:36.860 we had a great show last night how was the show tell tell the tell the fans who weren't at the

00:00:42.020 show how the show was it was a fucking great show it was packed arm and bombed thanks he uh yeah he 0.89

00:00:48.440 panicked no you had a good set everybody liked you you know and then i came on and then they're 0.90

00:00:54.300 like who are you and then no it was uh it was a good show people came out we're gonna do another

00:01:01.980 one in june or july i have to get all new material yeah the venue's like you can do it next month

00:01:09.360 right i'm like no that's like a once a year type yeah in the city at least that's probably the best

00:01:16.720 they've had in like years yeah thank you so much for coming this is so much better than drag brunch 1.00

00:01:22.360 i know i looked at one of the guys ipads and it was like john cena with the chairman mouthface and

00:01:28.660 i'm like yeah these people fucking hate drag brunch who the people who work there yeah like the ipad 0.94

00:01:33.780 literally had like a chinese guy's face well yeah i don't know like i think a venue should just allow 0.97

00:01:40.180 all events and not discriminate like the reason that you're doing it or what it's like i can put people 0.88

00:01:46.340 in seats i know as long as it's not a fucking hitler it was funny that like they had a inclusivity 0.94

00:01:51.300 sign in the front where it was like we respect people of all genders and races and then you're 0.99

00:01:55.520 just on stage like fucking trans people yeah that's my act thank you for summarizing it for 0.99

00:02:01.380 everybody who hasn't had the pleasure of seeing it that should be in the toronto star article they're 1.00

00:02:07.520 just like ben bankus ching ching bing bing question just your face ching ching bing bing

00:02:15.840 essentially he spoke about trans ideologies talked about trans if you think about it my act actually

00:02:21.320 woke because like it's like if a woke person was able to sit through it they would they should laugh

00:02:27.400 really at some point i guess they'd get mad if they were super woke but if they were just like

00:02:31.840 woke regular woke where they actually weren't and then they go laugh work woke yeah work woke

00:02:38.340 i have a lot of work woke people yeah you tried to make that joke you're like should i do this joke

00:02:42.680 i was like no and then you did it and bumped thanks but you're like no because but you're

00:02:47.500 it's because you didn't they didn't hear what you said because you're like you guys look like you all

00:02:52.040 are afraid to tell but you didn't figure out what you're trying to say was you guys look like you're

00:02:57.420 afraid to tell your bosses that you fall up at then you said it the second time and everybody's like

00:03:01.560 yeah not really my boss is a white supremacist we actually had a uh sensitivity training course

00:03:08.700 at our office because our boss finger banged an intern that's that's that's what happens when i

00:03:15.780 worked in an office we had to do sensitivity training because one of the um partners in like

00:03:21.860 vancouver took some intern like on a motorcycle ride and then he was like we should skinny dip in

00:03:28.780 this pond and she was like oh my god that was the moment i realized that he didn't think i was that 0.57

00:03:35.360 smart and just wanted to have sex with me yeah not when he was like riding my motorcycle yeah so they 0.66

00:03:41.300 always do those sensitivity training courses where they come in and they tell all the men to like 0.97

00:03:44.800 respect women but they never tell the women to like stop doing blow after work with the dudes 0.99

00:03:49.140 and like deep throating their boss who's married they're not like ladies can you stop slutting 1.00

00:03:56.800 it up by the way like i get it that you know the guys are going to try to fuck you at the work party 1.00

00:04:01.620 but you don't need to blow anyway women women know once they're in a company who to blow they blow 1.00

00:04:07.880 right to the the ones that don't blow the right guys end up like quitting they're usually secretaries

00:04:13.180 yeah they're just like i blew a guy who just started here i blew the male guy 0.62

00:04:18.040 yeah they like they want to blow up they blow like the blow-up dolls they blow up they don't blow down 0.76

00:04:28.140 which is why you know it's not even it's not fun to work in an office unless you're 45 and you've

00:04:37.240 been working there for 25 years no it is it is fun oh it's so funny like the best job you can get

00:04:45.680 like that like if you're a parent you want your kid i want them to get a good job and work in an 0.99

00:04:50.480 office and wear a suit and it's like all your kid does is blow yeah i know yeah you're just dumb broads 0.99

00:04:56.040 and biggest degenerates in the city the city sucks though for like getting food now like i wanted to 1.00

00:05:03.100 go get food after go to roll sand but roll sand sucks roll sand sucks it does suck i felt like 1.00

00:05:09.060 shit today i didn't feel as bad because i'm thinner like the fatter you are the worse you feel after 0.99

00:05:13.340 yeah we didn't eat as much as usual no we didn't but roll sand sucks everything sucks i feel like all 0.99

00:05:19.340 the good foods like out where where are we we can't really say but we're in like uh the east end

00:05:24.660 yeah but i feel like there's more food in the east right what do you eat eats at home

00:05:31.500 i did that for a month one month i like eating at home but i don't have i mean yeah it's anyway

00:05:40.980 there's no good food late after a comedy show and there's no cool vibe of like comedians getting

00:05:49.440 food after shows and hanging out like i'm the only guy who's like let's go get food and then people

00:05:53.740 you have mike card is coming and ruining everything we know a guy named mike card is who's a he's a

00:06:02.420 he's like a short jewish guy with a ponytail and he does jujitsu yeah and he's apparently yeah i don't 0.99

00:06:09.480 know we can't say we can't say but he's basically thinks that he just got a ticket to running canadian

00:06:14.880 comedy because he made a video of mark breslin going to israel 10 years ago where he looked like 0.97

00:06:22.640 shit in the whole video and he's bombed every comedy show in the fucking documentary and now 0.99

00:06:27.880 he's just like well he shows up to my show i don't know i don't know if i want to show up like five 1.00

00:06:35.760 minutes before you got off stage and then he just started trying to fuck all your fans i know he's 1.00

00:06:40.740 such a degenerate fucking loser god we we love him but but he's not gonna hear this no and if he did 1.00

00:06:49.680 he would be like what'd you do that for i'd be like because he'd be like what come on 1.00

00:06:53.500 he's like imagine a jewish guy that like a jewish jujitsu trainer like he's got like the side shaved

00:07:03.240 of his head but he's got the ponytail on top the receding hairline yeah his hair is thinning but he 0.74

00:07:09.720 just like fucking pulls it back like he's the other night i was like the younger you try and look the 0.98

00:07:15.180 older you actually look yeah i know he's he's yeah but comedy the comedy is uh much better when 0.98

00:07:25.560 you start like renting venues and like actually oh like having a fan base obviously it's pretty

00:07:30.520 important but you know most comics don't have that because they're not very funny so they just

00:07:34.820 you know they're just like oh well back to back to sudbury and the bar at sudbury

00:07:40.860 yeah i remember my first road gig with yuck yucks was um in sudbury actually sudbury and turkey

00:08:01.680 point i think it was i forget which one was first that was mine well technically mine was

00:08:06.340 pembroke without i didn't get paid for that right penny and then but yeah so my first one was at

00:08:11.840 turkey uh sudbury we stayed at a motel eight and i was just so excited because i was like this is my

00:08:20.340 first yuck yucks road gig i'm with two real professional comedians dylan gott and nick beaton

00:08:26.140 like they're real professional and i remember yeah it was

00:08:32.100 really anyway but yeah i remember being there i had a good set i wore like a dress shirt oh no 0.89

00:08:38.340 yeah i i wasn't it wasn't great i didn't wear this fucking bow tie yeah i wore a dress shirt 0.98

00:08:45.860 but i had a yeah no it wasn't it was like untucked it was just kind of like i was trying to be like oh 0.83

00:08:51.160 you know i'm yucks now yeah and i also when i got signed i was wearing like a full-on dress shirt

00:08:55.800 tucked in with a tie and i was like i can't do this in sudbury i'm gonna get eaten alive 0.50

00:09:00.040 but um yeah it was super fun but it's it is that you do the show after you smoke weed drink you 0.99

00:09:08.120 fucking those guys got like obliterated i had like three drinks they were like fucking they woke up 0.99

00:09:13.520 the next day like oh i'm so hungover i'm like you're 40 what are you doing we just did a shitty 1.00

00:09:18.720 gig for 200 bucks like what the fuck yeah and then we drove like six hours to turkey point oh yeah and 0.98

00:09:27.340 then we just got there and they're like all right dinner's on the counter oh god it was just slop 0.99

00:09:31.880 so yeah i know the food that we got there was so bad like well you don't like that well we're the

00:09:36.500 only restaurant for 80 kilometers in every direction yeah but i love that i love that's the best part

00:09:43.220 about comedy is doing shitty gigs and then they slowly get better you can't just start with good

00:09:48.800 gigs that would that wouldn't be fun yeah nobody wants that you got to start with turkey point

00:09:54.080 sudbury by the way we're going back to sudbury very soon oh yeah march 9th yeah armin's getting

00:10:01.820 another like under the table yuck spot i know we're not i'm not signed but though armin every single 0.91

00:10:08.640 like every single open mic comedian in toronto hates armin our bobby just fucking hates him they're 1.00

00:10:14.640 just watching this podcast right now going look at him he sucks he fucking just sits there he's fucking 1.00

00:10:19.600 sucks right and he's getting all these opportunities and it's like well no i get yeah he sucks but you 1.00

00:10:25.120 guys suck more so that's why you got he's sucks the least that's that's the point that's all comedy 0.99

00:10:30.980 is you got to suck the least it's not about being the best it's not being funny at all it's not about 0.99

00:10:35.780 being funny it's just about sucking the least but eventually you become funny because you just start 0.99

00:10:39.660 sucking less yeah but the people who are mad that you get the opportunity last night we put robert

00:10:45.220 kakamon be mad at him too he had he has a great rub and tug bit and then he does one more bit and 0.90

00:10:50.960 then it bombs yeah he does like a bit where he's like it's like so hardcore then right after it's

00:10:55.580 like the tamest thing and he's like whoa there's no clothes yeah there's a lot of that but that's a

00:11:02.000 learning process a lot of comics you know i think don't understand that you kind of have to be teaching

00:11:07.140 too like you can't just be funny and then expect everybody to be on that level like immediately and 0.84

00:11:13.320 just and like create something like that's rare that's great if that happens but it's fucking rare 0.68

00:11:18.080 yeah you know you have to like the guys who are doing that are like the rogans and like with 0.98

00:11:22.360 shane gillis and all those guys but then they have people under them work like i still need you guys

00:11:26.820 to just carry shit they don't have shane gillis isn't carrying shit for rogan you know what i mean 0.89

00:11:32.520 like it's a different it's a little bit of a different ballpark but yeah every time he does his 0.98

00:11:38.460 podcast rogan just makes him set it up bring the t-shirts up set up the t-shirt just at the vulcan

00:11:45.240 but that's what it's about you gotta get bitched around i wish i had gotten bitched around i did 0.99

00:11:52.860 a few yuck yucks um like guest spots for people like matt o'brien who at the time was like had his

00:12:01.260 own comedy now special which was like pretty much the best thing you could do canadian comedy like it

00:12:06.160 was on ctv or channel 44 and he brought us which at the time i was just like this is so cool

00:12:12.860 took me to like yuck yucks at the time ajax which isn't even a thing anymore and i had a i killed it

00:12:20.400 and like the guy who worked that like was the manager of the club was like people are like the

00:12:26.880 next i went back there or something he's like people have been calling me about your set like

00:12:30.500 they want to know who you were i was like oh my god so then those comics were obviously just like

00:12:34.040 fuck him yeah and they just stopped helping me as soon as they saw that i did well with their 0.58

00:12:38.820 opportunity wow that's so good and that's just how it was right it's like so then i had to do it 0.99

00:12:43.280 it took so long for breslin to even know who i was because basically shout out to ronan for

00:12:50.560 you know introducing me basically because he he rented out yuck yucks and did this show called kosher

00:12:56.700 kush right and brought me to do a spot and i'm annihilated like just a million times harder than

00:13:03.260 anybody else and then um not a million but you know yeah 20 20 million 20 times harder than jake

00:13:11.120 jacob bullshit um but so breslin was like yeah like you're great you want to work for yucks i'm 0.87

00:13:18.600 like yes and then he's like you can showcase and then i did that but you know that was how i got in 0.96

00:13:25.260 front of him you know it's not just why was i talking about that what was i just saying all these 0.95

00:13:32.080 open micers are jealous of me oh yeah but they all suck so it doesn't matter 0.69

00:13:35.940 yeah and there's not enough open micers starting their own shows like there's a little bit of that 0.96

00:13:43.180 i guess oh yeah we saw that yesterday right beside lula lounge yeah george yeah there's a there's a lot

00:13:48.520 of that i just i don't what's his last name reward yeah no there's a lot of comics like starting 0.81

00:13:54.080 shit that's good but they don't promote it they don't put any money into it they're just like it's

00:13:58.660 a mic no no there's four people there's like a there's a few comics i know that are actually yeah 0.98

00:14:03.400 producing good shit yeah i wish i want to do spots for sean arura i want to be able to do like three 0.60

00:14:08.220 spots a night like to work on my sets and it's like bullshit that you can't it's just there's 0.99

00:14:13.260 monday night's poor poor house with run by a psycho run by the his his words not mine muslim gay 0.99

00:14:21.640 immigrant whatever that means uh he who said that i can't do the show and then i go but i'm a 0.97

00:14:27.140 my dad's a jewish immigrant and he goes yeah we've had a lot of people come here and pull the jew card

00:14:31.140 and uh then go on stage and say some really horrendous things and i was like so basically

00:14:37.800 you just don't allow jews on the show yeah what you're saying but that's fine so i can't do that 1.00

00:14:42.480 that mic on a monday then there's that other mic that i tried to do which is matt duffy's room at

00:14:48.140 camera oh yeah camera nose yeah and i then i showed up and i made fun of some woman and then 1.00

00:14:52.740 she ended up being a open mic or i made fun of her she was like i don't have a gender how dare you 1.00

00:14:58.360 refer to me as a woman and i was just like well you look like a cunt and then she like was like 1.00

00:15:04.680 ben vegas made fun of me at the open mic so i can't do that show and then tuesday amateur night 0.98

00:15:13.760 yuck yucks i mean you can't do that show they don't want they don't want me there every week

00:15:19.740 it's a struggle to get out we're squeezing you on again i know just lighting me get off get off he's 0.98

00:15:25.600 killing too hard jesus christ it's actually fucked up i know why why can't i do spots and then they 0.98

00:15:35.320 come to and then you know oh you're sure i couldn't make it to see it because i didn't want to see it 0.99

00:15:40.020 i want to blindfold myself i know this isn't happening oh my god it was supposed to be me

00:15:47.180 oh how could it happen through theresa tam videos i don't know

00:15:51.360 like when i went during lockdown at one point i was confronted by like a woke comedian yeah he was 0.93

00:16:00.720 um he was delivering an uber eats to the building next to me as i was going outside high as fucks 0.87

00:16:10.180 yeah going to get darts or something and we started talking and i was like yeah like he's like you're

00:16:17.140 taking jobs away from asian comedians because you're doing the chinese accent that the chinese 1.00

00:16:24.040 comedians could be i'm like how does that make i'm like when's the last time a chinese comedian did

00:16:27.720 one he's like exactly well then maybe they don't feel comfortable now because you're going

00:16:31.120 ching chong bang bang right that's what started it was they saw the theresa tam video they're like i 0.78

00:16:35.460 don't rank my voice no more i think i hate myself it's also like how is that true when shane gillis 0.98

00:16:41.860 got fired and then they hired that chinese guy and nobody knows who the fuck that chinese guy is 0.99

00:16:45.740 sucks yeah and fucking everyone talks about and shane gillis is a fucking superstar i saw his like 0.99

00:16:52.020 fucking uh story last night he's literally on stage yeah like two massive just a massive screen 0.99

00:16:57.340 stadiums to stadiums it's like people are like yeah well it's hateful material like winston chew 0.98

00:17:03.940 on if you're a comedian and you don't like jokes that go against some sort of ideology you're not 0.96

00:17:09.360 a good fucking like i'll laugh at jokes that i don't necessarily like like if when liberals make 0.99

00:17:14.720 fun of fucking oh i right wing stuff and it's funny and i don't give a fuck i'm not sitting there 0.99

00:17:19.280 being like well you know i actually don't agree even if i'm like yeah i don't agree but it's funny 1.00

00:17:23.460 and i know why people laugh i'm not yeah and if you can't do that then you're dumb and you suck 0.97

00:17:27.680 because it's like comedy is about what's true so sometimes it's like yeah i relate to that it's 0.99

00:17:31.940 true it's funny it's not like i get offended and i get mad at the person for being funny

00:17:36.240 that's what these people do because i think they see us being funny in a way that they can't do

00:17:41.500 because it takes skill but and i don't want people to be like why are you talking about this

00:17:45.220 you're above this you don't shouldn't care about this i'm not i'm i'm it bothers me that i can't

00:17:51.460 as a professional comic in my own city of toronto just like that the amateur comics aren't being

00:17:57.680 like yo come do my thing yeah like i have people hitting me up from outside of toronto being like

00:18:02.400 some guy yesterday was like i'm starting a comedy you've seen here in nigro and i want you to come

00:18:07.120 out and do a it's like and but here it's like i don't want his type of audience what do you mean

00:18:12.720 people come to lulu if people were at lulu lounge last night they would have saw that i had 75 0.97

00:18:17.320 year olds 25 year olds we had every fucking race of people there there was fucking i mean except 0.98

00:18:23.400 blacks but no i'm joking no but that we had every race literally there and uh like rich people like 0.99

00:18:32.320 with money like sitting like getting big amounts of booze and food and having good times people have 0.98

00:18:37.940 no fucking clue i open for you all the time i have what jokes are about like being muslim or brown or 0.97

00:18:43.360 whatever black muslims and then they laugh because it's like they're not racist they're not like 0.99

00:18:47.260 they're just normal people that aren't part of the whole like uh you know some of them are extreme 0.95

00:18:52.500 versions of that like the people who are like i don't like those jokes about your youth nation

00:18:57.040 some of them but that's like a rare that's like one in every 20 more so when i go out of town and i

00:19:03.020 do the like you know do an abortion joke or something and yeah people are just like well i don't agree 0.99

00:19:08.220 don't have to agree fucking idiot it's just funny like last night i forget what i said 0.99

00:19:14.720 and i was like this is the one side clap for one thing and then the other side clap yeah i'm like 1.00

00:19:20.060 this isn't political i'm joking like talking about assisted death but yeah that's that's kind of the

00:19:28.800 inside scene of toronto because what before when i started comedy in toronto it was a very it wasn't

00:19:34.020 like that yeah well there was a lot more i guess bully not really bullying but like the older comics 0.99

00:19:40.100 would be like your shit your shit your shit and that was just fun it was just fun comedy is the 1.00

00:19:44.740 people who didn't like that quit and that's good fuck them because it was fun to like get like 1.00

00:19:50.900 razzed by like a guy who's like at the time it was like dom perry and stuff like that these guys have 0.98

00:19:55.960 been doing it for at the time probably 12 years already 13 years and they're doing the best gigs that

00:20:01.180 were possible then there was no social media even really at that time it was like in infancy yeah

00:20:05.680 it was like there was facebook there was stuff but like they weren't it wasn't where people weren't

00:20:09.460 oh you know what did you see that clip that yeah right so um but there was that atmosphere i remember

00:20:15.740 there was this show at this place called poor boy on bloor uh-huh near bloor and christy and um

00:20:23.260 it was upstairs and it was like a lot like you people all kinds so many open micers would be there

00:20:28.580 like 25 30 open micers is a super small room all signing up on this big list to to get on the show

00:20:35.780 and then there was pro comics there because a pro comic ran it yeah or a semi-pro comic or whatever

00:20:40.740 and his buddies were all yucks guys so like john hastings and um you know parade and all these guys

00:20:46.960 would just lurk in pavone and they and everybody oh shit oh that's alex pavone yeah he's actually

00:20:52.000 literally doing the career that i'm trying to do right and they would there was this he's he would

00:20:56.620 they would bump people you know you'd be waiting there for two hours to get on some guy would show

00:21:01.140 up who's like ahead you know knows the host gets on and people weren't like on facebook being like

00:21:07.440 i was at an open mic last night and i got bumped several times by a bunch of professional comedians

00:21:12.620 how can i ever become a professional i know like what no when i was just like you're you got to be

00:21:17.180 funnier than like i know whenever it's like an instinct whenever i get bumped that's what i

00:21:22.000 would always take it as is like yeah well i gotta get better and then i can bump it feels cool to get

00:21:26.280 bumped it should if you really love comedy and you're like a year or two in and you got bumped

00:21:30.980 at some shitty open mic it's like oh makes the open mic seem cooler doesn't it like it's a story

00:21:35.560 that you get but then it's like if i show up to one of these mics i'm like can i just go on and 0.98

00:21:38.840 they're like i don't know i know you have 60 000 followers i know it's so stupid i don't know if i can 0.79

00:21:43.400 let you on for free are these people here i don't know if they're ready for like what do you think 0.96

00:21:47.960 it is what are you talking about i'm a i can entertain these people that you know you think 0.97

00:21:52.880 i'm gonna offend or whatever the fuck you think there was like more respect when you started 0.97

00:21:56.980 because it was more word of mouth is that my coffee it's mine oh no we put cigarettes in mine 0.97

00:22:02.620 because uh you know what i mean like more respect for comics yeah just the above guys yeah it's more

00:22:07.120 word of mouth now everything feels very obtainable like i can just post three reels and get like

00:22:11.460 followers and then it's like it doesn't seem as respected like i'm seeing open micers put out 0.97

00:22:16.960 clips when it's like right not even ready to no yeah well they're fucking themselves by doing that 0.91

00:22:22.160 i i think so but i also think it's like building a good they have to learn how to do stuff but i mean 1.00

00:22:27.700 the the point is that it builds like a good muscle if you're shit at comedy like real shit like you 0.99

00:22:32.200 can't fucking just be putting shit on the internet being like i'm trying out here like back then i could 0.99

00:22:37.700 have like there was youtube when i started like i put out my first ever video on youtube yeah and 0.99

00:22:42.240 then i realized like and i paid professionally to have it fucking filmed my first ever set i paid 0.95

00:22:46.960 professionally to have it filmed yeah i did by this guy that i knew jacob burkhardt uh who was like my 0.60

00:22:52.420 mom's friend's son and like i but anyway i was like yo he was doing film stuff right and i remember it

00:22:58.020 was online and i had people who hated me from high school like people like yo this dean cook wanna be 0.99

00:23:02.400 fake it fucking bitch like all this because and also you could say that shit on uh youtube comment 1.00

00:23:07.300 right like it was like actually bad comments like god not this goes against the guidelines i was just 1.00

00:23:13.780 you're a fucking pussy that's a bitch i'll fucking stab you with a fucking mustache you're like tell that 1.00

00:23:19.240 joke near me i'll kill you so yeah so but then like so months later i was like oh yeah obviously i 1.00

00:23:25.300 needed to delete everything delete delete delete and then i just like i didn't go to yuck yucks for two 0.65

00:23:29.640 years like until i thought i had some sort of an act to to let them see it but um but yeah the

00:23:35.660 the scene was better there was more shows comics were just into it like it wasn't there was no

00:23:42.540 battle like if you were a new comic you got along with the other new comics it wasn't like oh what

00:23:47.880 side of the spectrum of bullshit are you on it was just like yeah we all get along we do comedy we 0.99

00:23:53.180 fuck around and the shows were aggressive as shit like some of the open mics like there was the show uh 1.00

00:23:58.580 there's a place called village vapor lounge which was that it was like in the gay neighborhood 1.00

00:24:02.460 basically it was like church and church and wellesley it was above like a nail salon it was on

00:24:07.680 the third floor of this like sketchy building the second floor was like the first ever weed dispensary

00:24:12.540 in toronto that was like before dispensaries like you had to have like a legitimate like

00:24:16.340 the car thing that said you were dying or from the doctor or whatever uh and then upstairs a lot of

00:24:21.820 those people a lot of them were gay and like had aids and stuff so they had like wheat the weed card 1.00

00:24:27.000 from having aids and they would just have aids and smoke weed upstairs while we fucking did stand 1.00

00:24:31.380 up and there was this one guy rudiger who was like he was everybody talked about rudiger oh you've 0.91

00:24:36.100 been to village vapor pardon me village vapor lounge like rudiger he's like a he was the heckler he was

00:24:41.900 like the resident heckler that would just live he just like lived there he was just there all day

00:24:46.420 and he would just he was out of his mind right he would just be like well and he'd be like yeah i'll 1.00

00:24:51.280 suck your cock you little pussy fan like you would just like say crazy shit like that he'd make comics 1.00

00:24:55.840 cry female comics no look at you're fat you're so fat you stupid fat bitch you slut he was just 1.00

00:25:01.280 like like literally be like you're a fat slut like right there gay guys are animals he's like this 1.00

00:25:05.880 far away like the room is small but there's like 40 people packed in here and like he's just screaming 1.00

00:25:11.220 yeah and there's all like ghetto kind of like kind of like gangstery people there too who are like oh 0.99

00:25:16.060 that was a burn this guy's crazy i love yeah and rudiger's just like you're a fat slut and he used 1.00

00:25:21.900 to call me a fat jew and he's like i'll fucking burn you like the holocaust you faggot like it was 1.00

00:25:26.220 crazy crazy crazy and people um you know did comedy there anyway you know i remember he made sabrina 1.00

00:25:34.380 douglas cry once no fucking yeah she was just crying on a friday night like in this smoke-filled 1.00

00:25:39.580 fucking room because he was just like bitch bitch bitch this guy like had tourette's too like he was 1.00

00:25:45.660 out of it and he had like years to live so he just didn't give a fuck right and then you talk to him 1.00

00:25:51.520 after the show sometimes though it was really weird as soon as the show was over you'd go he'd come up to 0.62

00:25:56.120 you and be like good show that's hilarious out of control that's hilarious so those were the kind of shows

00:26:01.960 there and there was a show that i used to do there started on sunday by this guy named ali kabiri

00:26:06.860 who was a fucking psychopathic open miker yeah and he he used to have this bit where he would just 0.98

00:26:12.880 point at a girl and be like what's your butthole smell like and he would just and everybody be like 0.99

00:26:17.020 oh my god it was just super awkward worst crowd work ever yeah and uh so he ran this room at that like 0.98

00:26:22.720 venue on sundays and it was so the shows on fridays and thursdays and stuff were like fairly packed

00:26:29.620 rudiger was always there though but sunday it was just rudiger just him and the show was

00:26:36.660 called do an hour dummy and like five comics would show up and we'd all do an hour like or try to

00:26:42.280 like people would get to like half hour 20 minutes be like i'm done and it was just you doing stand-up 0.99

00:26:46.940 and this guy just bullying you one-on-one with four comics there it was just this most psychotic shit 0.78

00:26:51.960 i've ever seen in my life and we did it i did it every sunday for like months that's like that's like 0.92

00:26:56.320 what i used to do with the danger room it's like the heckle show at the corner i used to do it

00:26:59.760 every sunday the heckle show is like yeah it wasn't even a heckle show it was like this guy's insane

00:27:04.500 yeah it was a nightmare performed for a guy i did it for months i legitimately went there probably

00:27:08.340 like 12 times like i did that like 12 times but that's it's comics now i'd be like i can't go

00:27:15.520 there i feel uncomfortable i ain't blah blah blah it's like okay well how are you gonna feel when 0.99

00:27:20.180 you're in front of uh 200 people 400 people 600 7 000 yeah fucking losers you can't do it for seven 0.98

00:27:25.920 you can't do it that's like last night uh robert one of the guys who opened for me last night 1.00

00:27:30.120 comes out it goes whoa this is a big room bro whoa whoa and the audience is like yeah it's kind 0.99

00:27:36.240 of sick right you fucking bitch like i paid for to watch he had that good joke about the 1.00

00:27:40.880 the rubbing and then he didn't close on it i know the poker joke and everybody's like what the fuck 1.00

00:27:45.420 but brad did well what about brad brad did well he read his books if you guys like brad uh we did a 0.92

00:27:52.320 patreon with brad uh this week so that's on uh patreon patreon.com slash ben bankus

00:27:57.460 you can support the show there from as little as six dollars a month and you get access to over

00:28:02.580 10 hours of bonus podcast material but uh yeah brad is this guy that we had open as well who's like

00:28:08.980 50 ish and he's like yeah he's old he um he writes children's books well he writes dirty like dirty

00:28:17.420 books but in the style of children's books dirt yeah they're children's books for adults that are

00:28:21.540 like humorous yeah and he goes on stage he reads them on stage and it's kind of a cool thing 0.75

00:28:25.940 yeah i kind of like and we we're thinking about including him in more shit and stuff like that

00:28:30.620 but you know if he wears his shirts like this you guys like these shirts yeah we bought too many of 0.93

00:28:36.300 them i thought i was gonna sell them like hot cakes last night and people sold like a good amount

00:28:40.860 not that like what a third of them well i was i was i don't want to say the number of how many

00:28:46.280 very low number i don't know 100 100 minus two minus 40 i pocketed with robert no because people

00:28:59.000 i feel like they didn't i like i didn't explain the t-shirts enough on stage nobody did nobody talked

00:29:07.280 about merch that was my bad no i went up there after and i was like yo we're selling t-shirts you did you

00:29:12.080 did but like it wasn't in their head all night i know because at that point they're already just

00:29:16.800 like let's go they didn't hear what you said but if like earlier like we like i forgot to do this but

00:29:22.520 like we should have brought out a t-shirt and been like i feel like the the blow-up doll that we had

00:29:28.560 on stage should have been wearing the shirt the new shirt yeah that would have been that actually

00:29:32.780 would have been sick well we can still do that yeah it's a learning process i like these shirts

00:29:37.940 they're nice it's a good material i know it's a good thread count your shirts are always like

00:29:43.380 they feel really nice you know ben bankers makes a good show you can't wear them anyway

00:29:47.340 show up to a bar with charbucks excuse me i want a macchiato

00:29:53.420 talk about last night last night was good it was it was stressful because you were stressed you

00:30:01.160 were stressed we showed up and you they didn't have enough chairs for all the tickets the first

00:30:08.640 thing the guy's like i don't know we sold 200 we have 140 and then you were like so where are they

00:30:14.380 gonna sit they're like i don't know hey we're like doesn't this your job he's like i mean i think we

00:30:20.860 don't just like make them stand scattered around the room yeah then i i never hosted he's like here's

00:30:26.240 your green room it's literally a whole other like place for people to watch the show from then yeah

00:30:31.040 the most just have them sit here the most i ever hosted for was the shows at the royals so that's 0.97

00:30:35.540 like 60 oh yeah the first thing that happened when we got there is my name wasn't on the fucking 0.94

00:30:39.140 oh yeah it was dreams do come true and you were like i guess i'm like i'm not taking a picture under 0.99

00:30:43.740 that shit like what the fuck is that i know it was so unbelievable no you sold 200 seats what you 0.99

00:30:49.920 wanted your name on the marquee and the best i thought was when you were telling the guy working 1.00

00:30:53.960 behind the booth you were like is there any way we could do that i mean we have 40 minutes he was

00:30:58.320 like i want to kill myself no he just didn't he just you could see it in his eyes he hates his job 0.80

00:31:05.740 you know what i mean yeah they did not want to go above and beyond because they just assume like

00:31:11.020 every loser who rents that space is just gonna have like 20 people there and they're like oh 0.99

00:31:16.300 no we sold it out where's my name on the fucking marquee fuck you people and also they were like oh 0.99

00:31:23.620 it's not so because at first like the capacity is 250 yeah and then i see on her i go over the 0.99

00:31:29.580 computer and it's 200 i'm like why is it 200 oh i don't know it's like so then we're sold out like

00:31:34.360 i don't know i don't know i guess 200 i thought i went to thief some of them hop over the face it's

00:31:40.160 so me i know it's so nice it's the nicest woman ever such a sweet when is the next time you're going 0.96

00:31:45.200 to do a show here never you fucking i'd rather do it in brampton 0.96

00:31:50.200 if i had come there and they had my name on the fucking marquee yeah and i walked in and they're 0.99

00:31:58.140 like welcome welcome here's your thing here's a blowjob we already have sparkling water set up i 1.00

00:32:03.560 was like can i have sparkling water yeah and it was warm yeah warm sparkling water what the fuck 1.00

00:32:08.520 i mean honestly what the fucking shit sells one show you're already like bro you have to 1.00

00:32:14.080 you gotta yeah what do you what oh well i was happy with it and i was happy drinking warm water 1.00

00:32:18.940 in the i wasn't in the green room where i had to pass by the entire line yeah i'm like can i just

00:32:25.060 smoke through the back where there's clearly a back alley and they're like no sir don't work

00:32:29.360 one of the workers might escape that's where we put all the potatoes one of the workers might 1.00

00:32:34.620 escape all the workers are running away they have no green card fucking big booty latina mansion 0.98

00:32:41.540 then we go for chinese food they're not never happy to see us i don't know why give them money 0.96

00:32:46.320 every week tip them so well i know they're like what is it 20 percent we don't have fortune cookie

00:32:52.140 please read i've seen the videos i know what you do it's so funny how it's like

00:32:59.340 ben bank is this racist or the chinese and you give them all your money i know literally giving 0.99

00:33:04.560 them every dollar booze i think the chinese own the um lcbo lcbo is the camera breaking what's 1.00

00:33:16.400 happening you look like you look like you're on this fuck i didn't delete that child 1.00

00:33:20.520 parking you look like you're on the set you look like you're directing jaws in 1980 1.00

00:33:27.400 bring out the shark it's got the beanie does it look good 0.99

00:33:34.120 is it it's just focused on the coffee cup oh shit oh no 0.99

00:33:43.160 i'm never gonna have a good podcast i've been trying to do a podcast for four years 0.99

00:33:52.040 this is like my fourth podcast people are just like it's shit go back to bing bang 0.75

00:33:58.440 i was surprised you didn't do a chinese accent for 40 minutes and i 0.99

00:34:03.540 you just have your eyes taped

00:34:05.580 all i want to do is go for chinese food after this and go go-karting

00:34:09.940 i know we should we should go i want to do more fun that's what having a hobby is or like having

00:34:15.060 fun because i don't think like enough people just have fun like i don't have a lot of fun i'll be

00:34:20.120 honest i don't have a lot of fun i don't like play hockey in a league or play dodgeball or i work 0.89

00:34:27.560 out out shows all over the country no i'm a fuck yeah and you're famous top b oh i don't have any i 0.90

00:34:33.320 don't have any fun i just have fans i'm just saying when's the last time i went go-karting 0.95

00:34:37.520 i don't know well today we're doing it we're going go-karting yeah or paintball paintball

00:34:44.540 i have my own paintball guns yeah well

00:34:48.200 why are you looking at me like that i didn't know that

00:34:51.980 i didn't know iranians were allowed to have

00:34:55.100 background checks

00:34:58.320 it says here you're the prince of persia

00:35:01.080 did you like that did you love that video game as a kid you're like yo it's me swinging from the wall

00:35:07.100 prince of persia i always thought the iranian video game i liked god of war i love how they're

00:35:13.280 like it the only iranian video game the guy's white i know it's not really iranian like it's

00:35:18.060 just tomb raider with a guy with weird pants on it's tomb raider but legal in iran because it's

00:35:22.520 not a woman with rights dude tomb raider like you know what's fun is like when you see the original

00:35:27.840 tomb raider video game like quality and it's so shit yeah and you're like but when i watched like 0.85

00:35:33.820 when i was a kid and played it i was like she's so hot but now i'm like she's a polygon 0.93

00:35:38.200 she literally is just like like has no face but then i was like look at the way she's running 1.00

00:35:44.540 i think when i was like in grade school i jerked off to like gta strippers 0.97

00:35:48.200 i never did that well but i did i did kill a lot of gta hookers yeah yeah you've never done that 1.00

00:35:58.300 no i didn't kill them i would always you just you fuck them and then once they get out and then 0.99

00:36:02.220 you wait a bit and you're like i don't know and then you just always in reverse too so funny just 1.00

00:36:07.900 yeah and then you get your money back and you stupid bitch 1.00

00:36:11.140 grand theft auto is a game that i uh like love yeah but i'm done i i played i the people who 1.00

00:36:21.480 play grand theft auto online oh no those people are autistic they're like i have 85 mansions and 0.88

00:36:27.740 all they have this whole life in there and i'm like it's too crazy for me like 450 pounds and you

00:36:32.220 live with your mom yeah no i never did that but i wish there was a new video game that i could play

00:36:36.960 for an hour i played red dead redemption that game's pretty sick i think i would play 0.95

00:36:41.000 video games like i think who is it fucking what was it uh oh yes uh our our lord and master uh 0.98

00:36:47.840 lord and savior enter tate but he said something about video games video games are gay yeah he's 0.99

00:36:54.240 like don't play video games i'm like okay he's like drink black coffee i'm like okay kill your first 0.97

00:36:59.940 word traffic be a human trafficker oh he's just for sure i watch so many clips of it being like

00:37:11.620 i uh used to run my own webcam business and i'm like this is so bad he looks bad i feel bad for him

00:37:18.800 in prison oh my god i know every he's not even in prison they're just like keeping him in there like

00:37:22.460 well it's weird because you cannot live until you tell us what you're doing but apparently every

00:37:28.560 single woman has said that they didn't do anything didn't do anything every girl under his webcam

00:37:34.820 business said that they didn't want to and then the judge said that they were brainwashed by him and

00:37:40.200 then they dropped the investigation for human trafficking and now they're looking into money

00:37:44.140 laundering so they like seized his assets in other countries i love how like the smartest you sound is

00:37:49.580 like you know the answer you're like a devout andrew tate follower that's just like actually

00:37:55.940 that's incorrect the most i honestly have never been entertained more by a person no he's amazing

00:38:00.820 the funniest i think he's i think he's i think it's whatever human trafficking he did was obviously

00:38:05.600 worth it because he made just the videos it's themselves the clip of him being like cooking is

00:38:12.020 the most he wasn't human he was human trafficking like romanian whores that weren't actually they were 1.00

00:38:17.680 like hello can you please traffic me i'd like to be human traffic sounds worse than it is what he did 0.97

00:38:22.540 is he just couldn't like got women to be in love with him and then he was like yo i love you what if

00:38:26.800 you just made porn and we went 50 50 on it and he just did that with 75 and they were down with it

00:38:31.420 yeah which is which is manipulative but it's not it's not getting the shipping container like it's not

00:38:37.620 what do you what else do you think is going to happen when you're a kickboxer and then you go on

00:38:41.380 uh uk big brother like yeah the next step is human trafficker in romania like there's no

00:38:48.200 yeah you don't just go to work at kinko's i work at staples now yes i was on big brother and i lost

00:38:55.040 and now i'm at walmart those reality shows like i i want to be on i want to be on big they tried to

00:39:01.500 do one for uh comedians like it was like what was there was like an amazon show where it's canadian

00:39:06.460 comedians it's like colin mockery was it the one the fat asian guy from some random canadian 1.00

00:39:12.040 convenience was it the one that uh they were trying to

00:39:14.920 no it was it the one where it's like comedians trying to make each other laugh and then 0.99

00:39:25.280 was it that one yeah yeah the last one was horrible but that's the concept for it was so stupid because 0.96

00:39:33.080 the concept is the to not what is it to not laugh the first one to laugh the first one to laugh it's 0.95

00:39:39.300 like shouldn't you be laughing the whole time you're hanging out with comedians let's have a show about

00:39:43.180 canadian comedians not being funny yeah try to be as unfunny as possible they're like this should be

00:39:48.040 easy cbc is like well being funny isn't working let's lean into not being funny we have five of the

00:39:55.760 least funny comedians in canada trying not to be funny brandon ash mohammed is not going to make tom 0.98

00:40:00.740 green laugh today no i watch tom green just once yeah tom green was on oh yeah he was on it he was 0.98

00:40:06.520 like i know fucking uh drew barrymore now i'm back in ottawa and i hate my life i don't even fucking 0.99

00:40:12.480 like these people i know a poor guy i would hate being on a show like that i would honestly i would 0.96

00:40:18.100 love it why wouldn't they should have done a show where they're like be as funny as possible and

00:40:22.600 we we're gonna keep score of who made the most people laugh or something like that where it's like

00:40:27.740 oh this is a fun show to watch oh try not to laugh here's my and they're not even doing fun 0.76

00:40:32.520 shit like showing their ball sacks or something like that would be funny if you just like oh check 0.97

00:40:36.160 this out colin mockery it's just me bending over tried i think they thought like brent butt pulling 1.00

00:40:40.980 his balls over his dick i think they thought okay if we put this scenario where you have to make the 0.99

00:40:46.260 funniest people laugh it's gonna push you to the edge but it just makes you more self-conscious as a 1.00

00:40:50.320 comedian then you just do dumb shit and you just bomb even harder you know what i mean imagine doing 0.98

00:40:56.200 that in a green room with five guys and then you're just like trying to make them laugh like 1.00

00:41:00.000 you're doing a set or doing silly shit it's not entertaining trying to make people laugh then 0.65

00:41:08.060 they're not supposed to laugh i guess okay maybe it is a good show i don't know maybe it's a good i 0.98

00:41:13.480 think they just got unfunny people on it i feel like if we were on it we would make it funny

00:41:17.380 we'd lose immediately because we'd just laugh yeah i would give me my 10k for one episode

00:41:24.400 tylo yeah i would just go up to every comic go i don't know just like whispering chinese

00:41:31.180 like ben you need to be loud i know yeah the camera needs to hear it how did you make colin

00:41:40.180 mockery laugh so hard in the well i uh well i said whose line is it anyway

00:41:45.260 because wasn't he on the show whose line is it anyway was uh yeah colin mockery with drew

00:41:56.560 carry more drew carry my career drew barrymore carried my career we can't put that on he's gonna

00:42:04.300 never come on now tom green's never gonna bring his dog here now when you met tom green you were 0.95

00:42:11.820 like i don't even know who you are straight up i'm sorry we're just like bro i never saw fucking 0.99

00:42:16.300 freddie guthing yeah what i'm sorry but i watched america i watched like beverly little's cop and 0.99

00:42:21.120 fucking louis i didn't watch like no you didn't watch fucking fart in a butthole movie like shut 1.00

00:42:26.140 the fuck up i'm sorry no i didn't but i didn't watch that my bad i don't think letter kenny is 1.00

00:42:33.300 funny i feel like millennials get like they're like oh tom green tom green yeah millennials like 0.98

00:42:38.380 but he wasn't even in movies that he should have been in like he should have been in way more of

00:42:42.620 like the american pie type stuff yeah no i don't think he was how to use him no they they were like

00:42:47.660 oh and freddie got fingered and then he's he's a fun guy i i like him actually as a person i think

00:42:54.000 that he no he's hilarious his stand-up is super funny and and he can just he has all these stories 0.90

00:42:59.880 about being famous that are just amazing like him on fucking no he has a lot of control on stage like 0.88

00:43:05.080 he's obviously a great comic it's just i don't think entertainment used him right no but now it's 0.93

00:43:11.080 just like he's just instagram like it's just he's just literally i did rogan twice now i'm just you

00:43:15.240 just that's all it is we're kill it i'm like you know let's go rogui it's crazy how many people go

00:43:20.920 nuts for him too considering i don't like my generation i don't think people know him yeah

00:43:26.640 young people are kind of you know tom green right of course no young people i think it's because 0.99

00:43:31.660 because it was a big deal whenever a canadian celebrity especially like pre-drake yeah and 0.91

00:43:36.200 pre-justin bieber would like fuck an american celebrity or like marry an american celebrity big deal 1.00

00:43:41.060 it was like yo represent dan actroyd's from canada like seth rogan when seth rogan like 0.99

00:43:46.220 first like started like making movies and stuff people were like seth rogan's canadian oh he's 0.95

00:43:50.200 the funniest guy then he lost weight and he's like i suck penis i think every movie funny i think all 0.94

00:43:58.140 of my old movies should be deleted and every new movie should have a trance i know it's so funny 0.91

00:44:02.660 that he literally made some of the best comedy movies i know he's like those are the those are the

00:44:06.960 ones that should be deleted but all these literally i honestly think two guys a genius

00:44:11.500 but he just but honestly it's like it's hollywood it's the illuminati they're like do you want to be

00:44:15.720 worth 200 million still or we'll bump you down to 10 mil which if you're worth 200 million now 0.96

00:44:21.120 you're 10 mil that's like a fucking that's like you're a homeless basically yeah now you're times 0.97

00:44:24.820 10 fucking yeah it's insane so they're terrified of losing their money but that's why you need to 0.97

00:44:29.980 support me support the show uh patreon.com slash ben bank is six dollars a month um you get the bonus 0.97

00:44:38.480 podcasts what how much time five uh we got shows coming up that we should plug we should plug some

00:44:46.640 shows you're not i probably should have done them yeah so february right now 2023 niagara yuck yucks

00:44:53.400 february 24th and 25th uh and then in march we have sudbury march 9th and 10th uh and then we have

00:45:01.460 march uh 23rd in ottawa oh shit go get tickets for that uh it's a yuck yucks march 23rd in ottawa then we 0.91

00:45:10.320 have march 30th in surrey bc uh april 1st vancouver uh and then april 6th we have edmund uh we have 0.94

00:45:21.780 calgary april 6th edmonton alberta april 7th fort mcmurray april 8th then we have saskatoon uh april

00:45:34.120 14th and then we have regina april 15th and then from the 21st 27th the 21st 22nd is winnipeg and then

00:45:44.860 the 27th 28th the next weekend is also in winnipeg so we're gonna be in winnipeg for two weeks yeah

00:45:49.620 doing podcasts shooting content doing dumb shit um you know and hopefully there'll be some other 0.66

00:45:58.120 shows that we can hop on to and shit like that apparently winnipeg has a bit of a scene no 0.98

00:46:02.640 apparently it's dangerous there i think so yeah i think the natives and like they're the that's it 1.00

00:46:07.820 the natives comma actually never mind delete the comma that's just put a period

00:46:15.240 and i forgot there's no black people in winnipeg there's like three that are like i'm half native

00:46:20.060 my name's jamal jamal rainfall

00:46:23.780 jamal steels car

00:46:29.740 um yeah so there's those shows and then we have um 0.92

00:46:40.240 after that's it for now but i'm probably gonna add some more shit when we get back to ontario 0.71

00:46:45.900 i think i want to do barry i think a barry theater 0.67

00:46:48.620 yeah in like may because i have a bunch of fans in barry that don't really want to come down to

00:46:53.780 toronto do barry so barry's boot camp barry's gonna keep grinding out here i still i look thin as

00:47:00.880 fuck right now i guess it's just you gotta just think thin you just gotta believe i'm getting 0.88

00:47:05.780 thinner and you get thin even if you stop working out i'm just like i'm thin i'm thinning i'm thinning 0.99

00:47:09.940 yeah we're gonna if i if i do another lula lounge i'll just pay for uh liposuction liposuction and get

00:47:20.480 fake hair from turkey

00:47:21.560 just get it stapled in just

00:47:25.020 you just have my hair like an iron curtain right there

00:47:29.340 just just look like hasboula just a bull cut

00:47:33.220 hello i'm hasboula hello i want to meet that midget that's the only midget i don't want to meet 1.00

00:47:38.080 he's like 35 right no he's in he's like 1920 oh i thought he was like a child i thought he's like

00:47:43.980 an adult but he's not like that old he has that disease like when remember when what was the show

00:47:49.380 it was on tv it had the like black guy who looked like a kid but he family no yeah it matters yeah 0.82

00:47:54.960 you know who it is but you know who i'm talking gary coleman i know the guy he looks like a kid but

00:48:00.320 he's an adult yeah yeah and he was a he was famous for a long time and i remember my mom would always

00:48:05.160 just point that out and be like that guy has that disease where he's got that looks like a kid but

00:48:09.640 he's an adult and i don't know wow as a kid you're like wow i want that disease 0.86

00:48:15.100 i want to be young forever the gayest kid ever you're eight you're like i don't want a wrinkle 1.00

00:48:22.100 i just want to look like a midget 1.00

00:48:24.440 was it webster webster webster's dictionary merriam webster

00:48:30.620 i don't know if it was he wasn't just short it's like he looked like a child like it's like he

00:48:37.500 never aged i think webster great band

00:48:41.980 shout out rock band okay guys thank you so much for listening this week uh the patreon is going to 0.98

00:48:50.340 be up with brad goss fuck off goodbye peace 0.98

Bankas Podcast - February 13, 2023

Baroon at Rura Rounge ｜ The Bankas Show - #015

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