Born in Toronto, Ontario, USA ｜ Bankas Podcast on Patreon - #053
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
175.52443
Summary
A little bit about myself, my life, and what's going on with me. Also, I got a new pair of glasses, so that's cool. And I'm going to Austin, Texas to perform on the Red Band's show tonight.
Transcript
00:00:06.340
You've made it to the special place, Patreon bonus episode.
00:00:14.600
Wanted to let you know a little bit about what's going on with me
00:00:17.320
because this is, you know, this is Patreon, baby.
00:00:26.440
I know people are like, why do you have such gay glasses?
00:00:33.780
I bought them because I went to a glasses store and I pointed them out.
00:00:38.580
I tried them on and the Asian woman who was looking after me
00:00:42.240
said they didn't look good and I was a little offended.
00:00:46.400
And then a larger black lady came from the back of the glasses store
00:00:57.280
And because she knows that these are Asian old lady glasses,
00:01:03.200
But the point is that they're broken and they should be broken
00:01:08.840
But I am wearing them right now because I have no other contacts.
00:01:16.500
You're always ordering a fucking box of contacts.
00:01:22.320
And now I'm going to have to perform in these glasses tonight,
00:01:34.460
Woke up this morning at, set an alarm at eight.
00:01:42.660
My family got up and I just lay in bed until 1030,
00:01:47.000
just like an absolute piece of garbage while my family went downstairs
00:01:53.880
My kid and my fiance, my, my, my dogs have two dogs.
00:01:59.140
And then I have a Schnoodle, which is my girl's dog,
00:02:01.720
which is the shitty dog, but it's still a good dog.
00:02:13.420
If you don't have a gun, you better have a dog that barks.
00:02:22.540
I just said that because it's, you know, it's Patreon.
00:02:25.940
It's saying what's, what's coming to my head, but it was nice.
00:02:28.440
I woke up now there on a play date, which I absolutely love that.
00:02:33.240
You know, introduced my fiance to some random woman in the park.
00:02:45.820
And of course they're, they're having a little play date.
00:03:02.760
And then tonight in Austin, Texas, I'm jumping on two shows, the secret show, of course, red bands show, the famous secret show that you get to potentially perform on.
00:03:17.880
And I've been doing secret show for a long time.
00:03:21.220
I remember the first time I ever did secret show was the week before I did kill Tony for the first time.
00:03:27.940
Way back in 2021 as a visitor, you know, just a, just a traveling visitor.
00:03:35.280
And, uh, was asked to do it, had a friend who was a friends with, with red band and Tony, his name was Hank used to be Tony's bodyguard, but then he decided to start doing standup comedy.
00:03:50.660
Even even was getting close with Rogan and stuff.
00:03:56.600
I think he was like a construction manager on that.
00:04:00.960
I'm going to throw it all away to do open mics in San Antonio.
00:04:03.900
So, but anyway, I knew him at the time and he was like vouching for me and they believed him then because he wasn't a comic.
00:04:12.520
And so I did, um, secret show back in 2021 and then jumped on kill Tony.
00:04:19.980
That was where I got my first, my second 10,000 followers after my first account was deleted at 10,000 followers.
00:04:26.940
That's why I have Ben Bank is too, which kind of sad that I had to do Ben Bank is too.
00:04:35.940
Some other loser has the Ben Bank is Instagram and it's just a faceless, nameless person.
00:04:48.480
Maybe there's another Ben Bank is trying to make it out there, folks.
00:04:51.280
I don't want to, I don't want to ruin his chances.
00:04:54.100
I got to keep checking my shirt on my last pod.
00:04:57.320
There was fucking dust on my shirt for my beard or something.
00:05:01.360
Like, I think I have like a bit of, it's, it gets dry.
00:05:07.300
So it's, but two shows tonight, Austin, Texas, love it here, by the way, love it here.
00:05:14.540
And to my Canadian fans who are looking at me going, how the hell did you move to Austin, Texas?
00:05:22.220
Well, first of all, you have to do comedy for 15 years.
00:05:28.500
And then you got to prove that you actually did comedy.
00:05:32.880
You got to get all kinds of letters signed by people at yuck, yucks, Mark Breslin, agents, managers, people.
00:05:42.640
And you go through a protest, protest, you go through a protest.
00:05:47.320
You got to go through the Palestine protest to get into the America.
00:05:52.200
You got to pay, you know, 15, $20,000 legal fees.
00:06:10.100
They go, oh, I'm not, I don't want to do the visa.
00:06:14.080
Reason being, they don't have enough comedy work to survive in America off only comedy.
00:06:19.760
So they want to come here with a green card so they can work at a fucking Starbucks.
00:06:33.040
My first, you know, my first moments in the States were on tour with my visa.
00:06:39.180
My first, you know, I came here April and by May we were touring.
00:06:44.120
Okay, I had a month of hanging out in Austin, going to Mothership, doing shows, Sunset, Creek in the Cave.
00:07:09.860
If you're wondering why, oh, he's doing a lot of pods.
00:07:14.960
Yeah, well, I want to keep that up while I'm on tour as well.
00:07:27.540
I know a lot of people, other comics, you know, they play video games.
00:07:35.700
And I like to play, you know, World of Warcraft or whatever.
00:07:51.940
I don't like thinking that I'm not doing something for myself, for my company.
00:07:58.260
I was going to sound like I was going to say country.
00:08:05.060
But what you do for your country in that country is Canada.
00:08:18.400
In six months, I'm going to be saying I'm from Toronto, Ontario, USA.
00:08:27.400
First of all, people were like, well, just move then.
00:08:30.360
Like a lot of people on X is like, bro, I already live here.
00:08:39.180
They go, oh, it wouldn't be Toronto, Ontario, USA.
00:08:43.000
It would be Toronto, USA or Toronto, Canada, USA.
00:08:47.000
It's like, bro, you know, people like a bunch of people writing that in the comments, both on Instagram.
00:08:53.400
And it's like, you don't have a social media following.
00:09:00.980
Like people will post like I had a guy critique me and I just told him to shut up straight up because I posted, you know, here's all my comedy specials.
00:09:12.180
And on X, you don't put the link in the original post.
00:09:17.580
So you do it in the next post, the post below it link.
00:09:20.760
And the guy, some guys is like, well, why isn't the link in the post?
00:09:24.740
I think it would be much more efficient and much more.
00:09:34.660
I knew when you posted what you posted that I had to tell you to shut up because you were being one of these people that when you're a public figure or you're rising in the ranks of whatever, or you're becoming somebody, people just want to be like, actually, you should do it like this.
00:09:50.780
And then when you're like, actually, you're a fucking loser and nobody knows who the fuck you are.
00:09:59.640
They just they just snap because they're like, I never actually liked your comedy.
00:10:09.860
Thank you for listening to the first 10 minutes of this Patreon bonus podcast episode.
00:10:15.080
The full episode is available on my Patreon, patreon.com slash Ben Bank is the best way to support me.
00:10:29.360
Canadian a month, probably around 10 bucks now, which is crazy or eight bucks.
00:10:36.340
You spend more than that a day on your lunch, your shitty lunch.
00:10:45.300
If you pay for the whole thing for the whole year, it's there's a discount.
00:10:57.480
If you have ideas for shows or for things, please join Patreon.
00:11:04.080
If you're going through something and you need somebody to talk to, that's not what this is about.
00:11:08.600
But still, I'll talk to you for maybe a little bit.
00:11:12.120
Definitely more than if you were just on Instagram.