Bankas Podcast - January 04, 2025


New Year New Me | Bankas Podcast - #077


Episode Stats

Length

56 minutes

Words per Minute

164.596

Word Count

9,340

Sentence Count

819

Misogynist Sentences

7

Hate Speech Sentences

49


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Happy New Year, everyone! Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year to all. I hope you all had a great Christmas and a great New Year! I'm back in Toronto with my family and I talk about what it's like to be signed to Yuck Yucks and what it means to be a comedian in Canada.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.360 Hey everybody, it's me, Ben Bankis. Welcome to Bankis Podcast, future biggest podcast
00:00:08.280 of 2025. Been a great week. Thousands of new followers. We're almost at 300,000 followers.
00:00:19.680 It's been an awesome journey. The journey does not end, obviously, ever. The grind never
00:00:24.760 stops. And we're out here, baby. Right now, this is, I'm in Toronto. Back, came home and
00:00:32.680 went home for the holiday. And I don't want to be here at all, but I'm here and my dad
00:00:39.640 is away, so I got to stay at his apartment. And this little room that I'm in, you can kind
00:00:46.500 of see how tiny it is. This bed actually folds out. This is a futon, or not a futon, but a
00:00:52.200 pullout. And I've, I slept here, okay, for years. Grinding it out with comedy. Not really,
00:01:02.260 yeah, for a while. In 2022, I lived here. And then there's a little desk right here that
00:01:10.260 the computer is sitting at the top of that I used to do. It's like a fold-down desk, and
00:01:15.060 I would do all the sketches here. This is where I edited all those mayor sketches, the Ben
00:01:21.380 Bank as mayor sketches, that we're going to be getting back into doing more sketches,
00:01:25.580 I think, in 2025. If you guys want me to do that, let me know in the comments. But yeah,
00:01:30.520 it's been, I mean, a good week. For me, obviously not the world. I mean, the Muslims, they be driving
00:01:41.620 through shit. But it's the Jews' fault. But anyway, great week. Happy New Year, everybody.
00:01:55.020 Let's just say Happy New Year. Not sure how long we got to say it this year. You people,
00:02:00.760 if you're still saying Happy New Year, February 15th, like you're just not, just don't do that.
00:02:06.560 There's a week and a half window to say Happy New Year. We all know what it is, right? Right now,
00:02:13.920 from January 1st to January 30th. And after that, you miss the boat, okay? If you see somebody in
00:02:24.980 February, you haven't seen them in 2025, get over it. You're not saying Happy New Year. In March,
00:02:30.880 people are saying Happy New Year. In March. I mean, this is, this is nuts. You can't be doing that.
00:02:40.300 Happy New Year. I hope you have a good New Year. I've actually told a couple of people I hope they
00:02:45.700 have a bad New Year. That's, that's where I'm at. I had to tell a guy, I had to tell a comic
00:02:52.860 in Toronto to have a bad New Year. On New Year's Eve, I did that. I went to Yuck Yucks. So I had my
00:03:03.300 show. The original reason I came here was for shows, December 27th and 28th in Niagara Falls,
00:03:11.320 four shows, all sold out, was really awesome. Brought a couple comics from Austin, Texas that
00:03:17.480 entered a competition on my Instagram to come down. They had a great time. They learned a lot
00:03:24.380 about Canada from their little Niagara Falls visit. Okay. And the shows were great.
00:03:34.060 Did Christmas, took my kid to the grandparents thing and the blah, blah, blah.
00:03:38.640 And then I was kind of stuck. Do I go back to Texas right away? Want to do a couple of things
00:03:48.100 in Canada, tie up a couple of loose ends and ended up here on New Year's Eve. And so for my shows in
00:03:55.780 Niagara Falls, the owner of Yuck Yucks, Mark Breslin, who I, I love dearly and has really
00:04:03.220 always believed in me. There's people out there in the Canadian community who are still
00:04:09.340 just jealous that Mark and I have a bit of a relationship, but I wanted to have a, and those
00:04:16.220 comics didn't. When I got signed originally with Yuck Yucks, kind of the equivalent of getting passed
00:04:22.000 at a club. But in Canada, when you get signed to Yuck Yucks, you can perform at all of the Yuck
00:04:28.340 Yucks's. You're basically booked as if you have a following and you're like a famous comic or,
00:04:34.080 you know, you can open for other headliners. Nobody's famous though. That's the funny part
00:04:39.800 is that all the comics touring and Yuck Yucks, most of them don't have followings, but they've
00:04:43.460 been doing it for 15 years at Yuck Yucks in Canada only. But Mark and I had a relationship when I got
00:04:52.620 signed for, with Yuck Yucks, you know, I wore a nice shirt and tie. I went out for, you know,
00:04:59.500 I asked to go to coffee with Mark. I would always want to talk to Mark, ask for advice, take his
00:05:03.540 advice. Whereas I know comics who got signed to Yuck Yucks and then Mark's like, you know, you can,
00:05:10.500 you really going to improve here and you're going to get better. And they go, oh, what do you mean?
00:05:13.940 I got to get better. Fuck you. I'm already funny. Stupid. But I took his advice and listened to him
00:05:21.420 and appreciate him anyway. He was the first guy to in Canada really be like, you're really funny
00:05:30.380 because a lot of people want to pretend like my comedy, you know, the jealous people, the haters,
00:05:36.100 they want to pretend my comedy. Oh, his comedy is a little harsh. It's white. I don't know if I can
00:05:42.200 laugh at something like that. Yeah. Cause you're a fucking loser, but he knows real comedy and I worked
00:05:49.560 my way up the ranks there from starting in 2019 by 2020. I was headlining. I was already doing
00:05:56.180 long sets, started headlining at Yuck Yucks in 2020 or 2021.
00:06:03.600 And when you headline at Yuck Yucks, that's like a two, $300 show plus your travel expenses and your
00:06:09.760 hotel. So you don't get paid a ton, but you get great exposure and all these clubs are full.
00:06:16.360 So Americans don't really get that where you get to actually headline for a full club that's just
00:06:22.560 selling out because of the name of the club. So it's a really special thing. Yuck Yucks is a really
00:06:26.860 special thing. I have my Yuck Yucks tattoo. Yuck Yucks will always be very close to my heart.
00:06:33.640 And Mark Breslin knows that. So he made a point of coming to Niagara Falls to like he lives in Toronto,
00:06:40.660 but he drove to Niagara Falls with his family to come watch both of my shows on the 27th.
00:06:46.380 Super nice. Hung out with the comics that I brought from Austin, telling them all these cool stories
00:06:50.820 about Norm MacDonald. Cause he knew he was the guy who originally signed Norm to Yuck Yucks,
00:06:57.940 right? Telling us all about this personal stuff about Norm. And, you know, maybe I'll talk a bit
00:07:04.340 more about that on the, on the Patreon episode, patreon.com slash Ben Bankus, the page, the Norm
00:07:10.560 MacDonald stories that Breslin was telling me, but maybe I'll get Breslin on. Honestly, I should get,
00:07:18.600 I should just call Breslin and have him tell some of those stories for Patreon.
00:07:26.060 Really cool experience. Anyway, he told me, you know, if you want to do a spot here in,
00:07:30.520 in Niagara Falls, which I didn't want to be in Niagara Falls for New Year's Eve,
00:07:34.380 which was two days or three days after my show. Right. So I had nothing to do. So I'm in Toronto.
00:07:41.740 What can I do? Yuck Yucks, downtown Toronto. That's my home club. That is my home club.
00:07:49.500 That's where I grew my following from 10 K all the way up from less than 10 K. When I got signed to
00:07:56.740 Yuck Yucks, I think I only had like 1700 followers before the pandemic, maybe even less, maybe like
00:08:02.900 700. We're talking 2019 here. April, 2019 is, I believe when I signed with Yuck Yucks. So right
00:08:10.780 before the pandemic, really just less than a year. And so everybody who works at Yuck Yucks,
00:08:19.480 downtown Toronto, they all love me, right? The, I mean, Mark loves me. He's like the owner,
00:08:25.220 owner. There's a franchisee owner too. They love me. Cause I was packing the club out on Wednesdays,
00:08:30.800 selling out two shows, you know, once a month we were doing like 600 people a month extra on nights
00:08:39.360 when they'd regularly be getting, you know, 30, 40 people. The staff obviously likes me cause I'm
00:08:47.400 always nice to them. Tip them. Well, bartender, they're known. Well, very fucking cool guy.
00:08:53.160 Um, but there's, but the comics, some of them who perform there a lot, they just, it rubs them the
00:09:06.040 wrong way that I want to be able to have like a bit of, what is the word? Like, you know what I mean?
00:09:16.700 Like I, I'm the only guy who came out of that club in the last while that has a legit following
00:09:24.420 and is, is legit, you know, I'm selling out Danforth musical. So all I wanted to do is a
00:09:30.160 little spot, but anyway, um, the comic who was hosting that night, apparently, you know, he's
00:09:36.320 had issues with me. He's, you know, Ben's racist. He's just some woke fucking gay shit,
00:09:43.960 which is, I saw him before too. And I was just like, why do you hate me? He's just like,
00:09:47.760 well, cause you're like success. You're like taking advantage of, you know, the climate,
00:09:54.100 the political climate to be success. Shut the fuck up, bro. It's called being smart. Okay.
00:10:00.120 Enough of this. Like, well, this guy's manipulating a system. What are you talking about? I'm living
00:10:05.780 in reality and I'm commenting on it. Sorry that you're living in a different reality that doesn't
00:10:09.820 exist that, you know, he's a fucking loser. But anyway, Mark was like, I don't know. That
00:10:17.760 might be an issue. Let me see. And then it wasn't, he was like, it's cool. Let him come
00:10:22.100 through. I mean, I don't know why he gets a decision. He's just hosting a show, getting
00:10:25.120 paid like 200 bucks. I don't know. But then there's a headliner there. Headliner, right?
00:10:32.280 1700 followers. That's how it is. Canada, whatever. And I respect it, but I did my time. I did,
00:10:37.760 I was supposed to do 10 minutes. I did 12 big fucking deal. It's a packed show. It's
00:10:43.160 completely sold out New Year's Eve. This guy's quote unquote headline. He's doing like 25
00:10:48.740 minutes spot for like a couple hundred bucks. It's not exactly, you know, it's not like those
00:10:52.560 are his fans there, but that's how they treat it. They're like, these are my, but anyway,
00:10:57.020 so I did my 10 minutes. I made fun of, I do have a joke about native, some native fucking
00:11:01.980 couple, like a morbidly obese native woman and her really drunk husband got upset and
00:11:09.940 started heckling. And I just kept making fun of them. And it was really funny for like 80%
00:11:14.720 of the audience. And then there was like 20% woke people who were just like, I can't believe
00:11:18.760 this is happening right now. It's like actually insane. It's crazy. And I guess this headliner
00:11:27.020 guy got scared that I made a joke. I mean, I was still killing. I'll share this, some
00:11:32.420 of the clip here, but some of the audio.
00:11:38.840 No, we've done good things for the natives, right? You're not, you're just drunk and retarded.
00:11:45.440 I thought you guys wanted to have fun. You'll be okay. Just shut up.
00:12:04.260 Wait, first, you guys paid to hear me talk. You just said I was funny. Now you're upset
00:12:16.560 because your wife's upset. You're a little bit funny. Yeah. Well, you're definitely a
00:12:20.660 little bit native, so let's keep it real. Can I finish the native jokes? These are for
00:12:25.660 you, man. These are, these are written for you. You can, you can, you can take them with
00:12:32.860 you after this. That's your reparations. You can still, I mean, yeah, you should be thrown
00:12:46.540 out. You're a dumb retard. That's been interrupting the show. I think you might actually get kicked
00:12:53.660 out. Hey, shut up, Karen. Shut up, dumb white bitch in the fourth row. Like, excuse me,
00:13:00.680 I'm a professor at Concordia, and what has happened tonight is on par with what is happening
00:13:07.860 in Gaza, all right? This man destroyed this one.
00:13:16.860 Oh, God.
00:13:20.060 Nice street.
00:13:20.880 Yeah, we talked about a lot of people. Yeah, but I thought you, yeah, I know. You know what's
00:13:30.300 interesting is on native land, there's no freedom of speech. Isn't that interesting?
00:13:36.180 Yeah. All right. I think what's going to happen is you should have to get up, which might be hard.
00:13:44.160 And, um, I feel like we might need a couple more staff members. And then we're going to take you
00:13:53.040 outside, and then I'll do, like, one more minute, and then we'll all be like, yo, I'm pretty glad
00:13:58.700 you fucking took over that land.
00:14:00.660 Holy shit. Didn't know I was doing comedy in the teepee tonight. Oh, we're trying to have a good
00:14:11.780 night. New Year's Eve. What year is it in Ojibwe? Okay. Uh, all right. The staff's like, they're
00:14:21.960 flipping a light. You're like, Ben, please. You're going to give everybody a night to remember.
00:14:27.380 Please.
00:14:32.680 Just in the sense of, like, if I order an Uber, yeah, I know. I saw the light, bro. We're
00:14:36.900 good. I had to deal with a little, you know, indigenous problem. Um, the problem was indigenous
00:14:45.320 to tonight. Um, they want me to get, do you guys want me to finish this joke? Can you stop
00:14:53.660 fucking flipping the light? Jesus Christ. Give her some more Coke. Anyway, the Uber, yes,
00:15:04.820 this is racist comedy. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I can't wait until you, Trump puts you
00:15:11.580 in the fucking camp. Uh, I just can't wait. I'll, even when we become American, I'm like,
00:15:17.820 keep the Indians. Send the fucking white liberals to fucking Punjab or some shit. Look, you guys
00:15:24.140 have been fun. They're going to be mad if I keep going, but you can follow me and see
00:15:27.760 all my other jokes. That woman, I hope she has a bad 20-25. She sounds like a cunt. And
00:15:34.400 she does. Right? She sounds like a woman that nobody's going to have fun. Like, kind of
00:15:40.080 like you. You're the older. She turns into you eventually. You're like the Charizard to
00:15:45.540 her Charizard man here. And, you know, you guys are still my favorite because we are.
00:15:50.840 Thank you for letting us do these comedy shows on your land. You know what I mean? Like,
00:15:54.640 uh, if it wasn't for you guys, we'd have to, like, do this somewhere, like, Disneyland or
00:15:58.180 something. Um, but yeah, you guys are great. Thank you.
00:16:02.060 That was some of the audio from the show. And this guy's trying to tell me that, you
00:16:13.520 know, I, anyway, so he's lighting. This guy's flicking. There's a light switch at the back
00:16:19.880 that lights the comics and he's going like in his mind thinking like he needs to get
00:16:25.260 off. He's going to ruin the show for me. These two native people are going to walk
00:16:28.320 out. I don't know what he was thinking. He's telling the staff who obviously felt
00:16:31.940 awkward doing it, but were lighting me with their phones. I was at this point.
00:16:35.440 I'm only at eight minutes into the set. Okay. I have 10 minutes set. Anyway, I
00:16:40.940 finish. Everybody's like, that was fucking awesome. I go in the little area to get a
00:16:47.160 drink and this guy comes in and, uh, you know, he goes, uh, he looks at me and he
00:16:54.540 goes, uh, they have a way to warm them up for me. And I, I mean, you know, part of me thinks
00:17:01.720 that, you know, in that situation, you just go, Oh yeah, thanks man. Yeah. But I, I didn't
00:17:07.500 want to do that. I'm like, cause this guy has every single time all the way through my
00:17:14.000 rise when I was living in Toronto and I had 10,000 followers and he had zero or 500 or whatever.
00:17:22.960 And Oh, who do you think you are? Okay. And then 30,000 followers. Oh, who do you think
00:17:29.240 you are? Like I'd come into the amateur night show and be like, can I do a spot? I'm on
00:17:33.120 the roster as a comic working for the club. So it's not unusual to do spots at amateur
00:17:39.220 night. It's kind of like, can I pop in this just a showcase show? Um, and he would just,
00:17:47.540 he would be hosting it. The guy who was headlining this show, but he would host regularly these
00:17:51.380 other shows and I'll make a big deal. Oh, we can't, if we, we, the show can't, we can't
00:17:56.040 do another five minutes. There's just running out of time. The people that work here, they
00:18:00.480 have to go home that, you know, the Indians that they took a bus here that I don't know.
00:18:04.240 It was just some bullshit. It's all Indians that work there. We're all chill by the way.
00:18:08.260 I love my comedy, but trying to like all these, like, you know, I'd leave my family and my
00:18:13.200 kid to go to a spot in 2023. Right. And when I was living in Toronto and I had a following
00:18:18.680 and it was selling out there, I was selling out that club Wednesday every month was Ben
00:18:24.820 Banker's night, two shows sold out fucking people lined up around the corner and this
00:18:31.180 guy just, you know, he, Oh, I don't know. Amateur. And I don't know if we got time for
00:18:34.900 you, a big hot shot kind of thing. Like just like a bully really like he wasn't accepting
00:18:39.960 that. Okay. Ben's killing it. You didn't want to be part of it. Um, you know, and just kind
00:18:45.720 of wanted to bully, bully me. And so I, he goes on new year's Eve, he goes, Oh, way to
00:18:54.780 warm them up for me. And I, I go, well, I thought, I think they laughed pretty hard.
00:18:59.660 Did they not like, by the way, after the show, I got like 10 messages from random people who
00:19:07.860 didn't even follow me, who were just at the show being like, dude, you, that was so fucking
00:19:11.320 funny. Like I just, I had to go look you up. I want to come to your next show, all this
00:19:14.500 stuff. I did get one really crazy hate message. I'll post it right here. Some nut job saying
00:19:20.540 that, you know, she whisked her husband through a bottle at my head and stuff like that. Like
00:19:24.780 some, she was probably, she might've actually been a friend of the headliner guy because
00:19:29.460 he had, Oh, my friends are here. He doesn't have fans. He doesn't have anybody buying tickets.
00:19:33.700 He's my five, four friends. He's from high school. I'm fucking 47 years old. Um, just
00:19:40.600 a complete joke. But, um, yeah. So I go, I think they laughed pretty hard, man. And he's
00:19:47.800 like, no, no, no, they didn't. He literally was in denial that I killed and so angry that
00:19:53.280 I killed. And I was like, what's your problem, man? Like, he's like, I'm like, I did 12 minutes
00:20:00.040 and I was supposed to do 10 and he's like, yeah, of my time that you're taking up. That's
00:20:06.960 what he says. I go, but I'm on the show. Like there's like in the room, there's a printed
00:20:13.200 out lineup of the comics. It was the first girl, me, second guy. And then you were all
00:20:20.160 just doing 10 minutes. You know, what do you, so I go, I'm on the lineup. He goes, Oh yeah.
00:20:24.120 When did you get booked? Like, Oh, I need to get booked like six months in advance for
00:20:29.200 a free spot on new year's Eve that you're. And I said that to him. I was like, so what
00:20:33.920 do you mean? I I'm a touring headliner. Mark just came to see me in Niagara falls. I asked
00:20:38.960 him if I could do a spot. What's the fucking issue. He was just so upset. And I made him
00:20:45.460 more upset because I, I just told him, I'm like, look, man, I'm a touring headliner.
00:20:50.580 I'm touring. I'm living in the States. I come back. I just did two, four sold out shows
00:20:55.700 in Niagara falls. If I want to come and do a spot, that's okay. And you can't really
00:21:00.100 do anything about it. And the way you're acting, honestly, like Mark would be just disgusted
00:21:03.880 by it. And he was like, Oh yeah, you're going to go tell daddy. You're going to go tell
00:21:08.180 daddy Mark about this. I'm like, honestly, no, but like, I didn't say no. I said, maybe,
00:21:14.840 maybe I should, cause this is fucking unprofessional. And I go, look, you, who do you think you are?
00:21:22.280 I'm like, you're getting paid 200 bucks to headline. None of those people know who you
00:21:27.100 are. You have no following. You're you've been doing comedy. And then I kind of got mean. I was
00:21:31.880 like, are you been doing comedy for like 25 years? Nobody knows who you are. You didn't,
00:21:35.160 you didn't, you didn't put in the work. You didn't do anything. You're doing the same set.
00:21:39.940 And he's like talking over me and be like, Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Do you have a comedy special on,
00:21:44.680 on just for laughs on CBC? I'm like, bro.
00:21:48.480 And I just was like, listen, I hope you have a really bad 2025. And I might've, he's fatter than
00:21:56.580 me. So I, whenever there's somebody fatter than me, I like to call him fat. Is that so bad? If
00:22:01.580 you're fatter than me, that's my opportunity. You're fat. Not me. It's you. Anyway, I got worked
00:22:07.720 up on New Year's Eve. I got a little worked up, but you kind of have to, you know, put people in
00:22:14.540 their place. I think sometimes because otherwise people do just try to walk all over you. And
00:22:20.980 look, I'm a big proponent of, you know, don't get angry, get even kind of thing. And, you know,
00:22:28.820 but I have, I I'm doing a spot. You want to be a dick to me. You want me to just take it. And
00:22:33.820 that's your little like revenge on me that I get, you know, Oh, I took 10 minutes out of your,
00:22:38.860 you were going to do your 40 minute set. You've been working so hard on since 1996 that I don't
00:22:44.740 know. Fuck them. Fuck them. Fuck them. Fuck them. Time to go back to Austin. Can't even do spots at
00:22:53.460 the home club without the comics getting their panties in a bunch. Oh, he made an offensive.
00:22:59.600 Everybody liked it. People are messaging me after the show that, Oh my God, I loved your set. That
00:23:04.340 was a, but it's, it's people are just sick. That's, that's how denial works folks. And you
00:23:10.220 all listeners of the show, you have people at your work who are in denial and say shit to you like
00:23:15.440 that. And you moved up in the company faster than them. And, you know, sometimes you just gotta be
00:23:21.700 like, Hey, listen, you know, you're not doing that good actually. And like, you're not doing good
00:23:26.720 enough to talk the way you're talking. Maybe I'm reading too much into Donald Trump's. Maybe I read
00:23:34.760 too much of the art of the deal. Cause the art of the deal is all about like, you know, if they want
00:23:40.080 to fuck you over, you fuck them over 10 times harder back. I don't know. You work hard folks.
00:23:47.760 I mean, I told you I'm in the room. I mean, this is a basically a childhood room, but I also lived here
00:23:53.900 a few years ago, working really hard on all the sketches and the pods then that I was doing and
00:24:00.740 the standup performing, going to yucks, living in this little tiny room, believing in myself.
00:24:09.720 And when people want to be like, actually, no, yeah, I don't like, it's like, actually,
00:24:13.940 you can fuck yourself. And I mean, yeah, in the comments is one thing. Like the girl who messaged
00:24:19.780 me that crazy, I'm not arguing with that girl. I just block her. Like if somebody sends me some
00:24:24.140 crazy shit for the most part, especially 2025 new year, new me, you know, you just block it and you
00:24:31.460 move on or you, or you just don't care. But when people you've known, like, I know this, I've known
00:24:36.740 that guy for like 10 years, this comic, I've driven him to comedy shows. I've, I, he met my,
00:24:43.520 my, my kid and was nice and the, you know, and, and just decide, you know, other comics have lost
00:24:49.300 the comic comedy. All arts are super competitive and there's a lot of jealousy, but comedy is
00:24:57.020 probably one of the most competitive art forms and most jealous art forms and most critiqued art
00:25:05.040 forms out there. It really has to be because it's all on your own merit. It's not like, you know,
00:25:13.500 you can't be, you're an artist. You're not really jealous of Ariana Grande because you know,
00:25:17.860 she's, they took her on a ride. So I can, you can be jealous of comedian successes because
00:25:24.400 they moat for the most part, they did it all themselves. And it shows to people who aren't
00:25:30.340 successful that, wow, it really is just hard work and perseverance. And I, you, it's not luck
00:25:38.060 that really like there's, there's luck involved in everything, but if you luck is hard work plus,
00:25:44.920 what is it? What's the saying? Hard work plus good timing equals luck. I mean, come on.
00:25:53.300 So people get insecure. I had the video, maybe I'll repost that video of the sound engineer that I got
00:26:00.380 really upset. You know, he got super upset and I had to kick him out of the show because
00:26:03.940 just wouldn't shut up. Same thing. I had to kick somebody out of the show recently in Niagara. I
00:26:11.540 had to kick somebody out of the show. He's like, I'm a fucking big fan, buddy. I'm a big fucking fan.
00:26:15.340 It's like, bro, you are so dialed in on blow right now. And he's like, comes and it was a sold out
00:26:21.740 show. By the way, I hate when it's sold out and then they don't sit people in the front row. This
00:26:25.320 is only in Canada. Will they do that? Where it's like, yeah, it's sold out, but oh, you don't have to
00:26:29.100 sit there. It's like, uh, hello. People are clamoring to buy tickets. Put them somebody in the front row.
00:26:34.820 But, but so I go with the front row is fucking empty and buddy. Oh, I'll fucking shit here.
00:26:39.600 You just start fucking yapping off me. It's like, bro, I'm going to put you in your place.
00:26:44.080 And then when you make fun of them and everybody laughs and goes, yeah, that guy's a loser.
00:26:49.320 And then they keep going. That's when it's like, okay, now we know that that's why we have security.
00:26:54.840 Right? Because in the States, the security, nobody fucks around. Cause when you walk into the comedy
00:27:00.620 show and the security guards, a six foot five black guy with a Glock on his hip, you know,
00:27:06.160 at the Buffalo helium, you're like, oh, maybe I won't be a fucking asshole during the show.
00:27:11.280 But in Canada, you go to a comedy show and you walk into yuck yucks, Niagara and the Indian security
00:27:18.600 guards there with the turban smiling. Hello. Thank you. Okay. You're coming. You don't care of you
00:27:23.460 heckle. What's he going to do? He doesn't even have a taser. Doesn't even have a baton. He's got
00:27:28.460 a walkie talkie to call more Indians in. And half the security guards are fucking, they're either
00:27:33.940 wearing a turban or they're a woman or a female Indian. So yeah, doing comedy and comedy clubs in
00:27:44.000 Canada can be a little more dicey and a little more complicated. I had an issue with a comic and
00:27:50.800 where was it in San Diego? I had a issue with a comic the first night he opened, he was, I brought
00:27:59.200 one opener and then he was the local opener, which by the way, when you, sometimes you have
00:28:04.280 a local opener, it's not good. It's not great, but we had a local opener and he started like
00:28:13.360 during the first show, there was a lineup out the door for people coming to get tickets and
00:28:17.280 he was outside smoking. We're like, oh, what's up? And he's like, oh, like you like sell tickets.
00:28:22.300 Say like, ooh, this guy thinks he's like, uh, we've got a following and stuff. I'm like,
00:28:27.380 are you, yo, are you tripping right now? Like I just met this guy. I didn't even, he didn't
00:28:31.340 even say hello to me. I was like, is this guy out of his fucking mind? This is a comic
00:28:35.480 supposed to be opening for me. Then the shows happened during the shows. He's saying all
00:28:40.000 kinds of shit on stage. Like, oh, you guys don't like that. Oh yeah. Cause you're racist
00:28:44.860 and you like that other asshole, like shitting on me and the crowds are like, what the fuck
00:28:50.420 is wrong. Do he do half a joke? It wouldn't get a, get a laugh and be like, I don't know
00:28:55.120 if I'm good at this. And then that would bomb. And I'm like, this guy's like purposely bombing
00:28:59.140 slash being a dick. And so after the second show, there was two shows. I think there was
00:29:04.800 three nights or whatever it was. And I go after the first night, I go, Hey man, don't
00:29:09.700 come back tomorrow. Sorry. And then he's like, oh, oh, I guess you do have the power to do
00:29:15.400 that. But like, so you're going to do that. I'm like, well, you were kind of a dick all
00:29:18.900 night, not only on stage, but to me personally. Yeah. You're off the fucking show. And then
00:29:24.440 in his mind, he was like, how can this happen? I was trying to be funny. I was trying to
00:29:28.640 be cool. It's like, bro, you were like, nobody likes you. The audience didn't like you. And
00:29:33.440 in the green room, we didn't like you. So obviously you're not going to, you're not
00:29:36.300 a fit. It's like, dude, you're doing a 10 minute opening spot. It's pretty hard to
00:29:41.600 fuck up as a comic. But when you do, it's like, when they do, it's like, Jesus Christ.
00:29:46.940 Fuck. I think there's been just a fucking stain on my forehead that whole fucking time.
00:29:57.760 Great. On this hat. But this podcast, this episode is more comedy focused. I know we
00:30:05.440 could just get into a million things. I mean, we had the Christmas, the Germany Christmas
00:30:11.000 market fiasco right after we were talking on the podcast about the Syrian people going
00:30:18.940 to in the, the, after the Syria, Bashar al-Assad fell and all the Muslims are going to the Christmas
00:30:25.140 market, screaming Allah Akbar. And then two days later, they got a drive through attack and
00:30:31.240 everybody's just like, oh, well, I guess they beat. Oh, he was, he was an anti-Zionist Muslim.
00:30:37.460 I was okay. Yeah. Okay. And you know, I mean, if we believe Santa Claus was actually hit by
00:30:43.700 the car, I guess we could believe he was an anti-Zionist Muslim. The real Santa Claus that
00:30:48.400 is. So there was that. And that was just tragic and fucked up. And you know, these attacks are
00:30:56.640 really just to make fun times in our lives and fun holidays seem shitty. That's what the whole thing
00:31:04.480 is. You know, oh, you thought you were going to have a fun Christmas. Well, I'm going to drive the
00:31:09.000 thing through the fucking market. Oh, you thought you were going to have a fun New Year's Eve. Now,
00:31:13.780 anytime you're out, you're going to be looking over your shoulder every two seconds because
00:31:17.300 somebody is going to drive a fucking truck through a, through, through a fucking through Bourbon
00:31:21.820 Street in New Orleans. It's disgusting. And people go, oh, the guns, the guns. I mean, the guy,
00:31:28.100 he did more damage with the fucking truck than the guns. You can't, you can't stop a truck driving at
00:31:36.260 80 miles an hour down a fucking side street, running people over the way that you can take down a guy
00:31:42.540 shooting at people. But he also had guns and explosives. I mean, it's. And he was, you know,
00:31:52.220 oh, isn't it? Well, what was his name? Abu Bakr, Al Jabbar, Jabrani, Jabon, like, but oh, don't us just
00:32:00.960 because his name sounds like that. You think he that's why you think he was going to be a terror? He did
00:32:07.120 it. He did the attack and his name was that. Jesus Christ. But it was the Jews. Oh, that was the
00:32:20.440 Jews were at fault because they, I don't know. Anytime a Muslim does anything wrong, it's apparently
00:32:30.140 somehow the Jews fault, which is really an insult to Muslims. Are you saying that Muslims can't do a
00:32:36.600 plot? They can't think of something. It's every plot is just the Mossad did it. The Muslims aren't
00:32:45.220 capable of figuring it out. I mean, the Muslims have a great thing going for them because anything
00:32:51.880 they do gets blamed on the Jews. And even if it's proven that they did it, somebody goes, well,
00:32:56.800 you know, they fucking the Jews figured out a way to hack into his brain and Zionism and shit.
00:33:03.820 I don't know. And that shit's more prevalent here in Canada. It's way more anti-Semitic. It feels like
00:33:09.520 Canada, I think because it's a smaller population and there are a lot of Jews here for how big the
00:33:17.240 population is. And the Muslims, I mean, there's more Muslims than Jews. They far outpace how many Jews
00:33:26.600 there are, but who cares about that? Let's just make the Jews feel bad about everything. Well,
00:33:33.300 you know, oh, the Jews are ruining society. Are they ruining society or are they holding it up?
00:33:38.860 Oh, they're ruining it by running all the companies and by being all the lawyers and the doctors and the
00:33:46.260 executives and the real estate agents. So they're just doing every job that's necessary for a
00:33:54.020 good society to exist. And we're mad at them for that. Meanwhile, everybody else is slumming
00:34:01.120 around doing fucking Uber Eats. Have a joke like that. I want to might bring that one back
00:34:06.500 about how Jews never deliver Uber Eats. You'll never see Larry Horowitz with your fucking burrito
00:34:11.960 five minutes away. Might actually bring that one back. Like if you've watched the podcast and you
00:34:18.400 see me do it, beg my forgiveness. Sorry for the spoiler alert. But yeah, so that's been going on.
00:34:28.400 And meanwhile, I'm at my
00:34:30.880 fiance's Christmas family Christmas. Beautiful. It's beautiful. Watch the kids play. No,
00:34:40.240 I mean, it was. It's nice. Nine hours. Nine. I didn't know Christmas in nine hours. That's
00:34:46.240 that's why I'd like. I mean, Hanukkah's really Christmas must have been modeled after Hanukkah
00:34:53.340 because really, if you have more than just you, you're doing multiple Christmases. It's basically
00:35:00.820 like a Hanukkah Christmas Eve is a Christmas. Like for my kid, we did Christmas on the 23rd.
00:35:06.500 And then the 24th, we flew to Canada and saw her sister and they were doing Christmas. So that's
00:35:12.420 kind of like a Christmas. And then the next day they did the Christmas with the grandparents.
00:35:17.540 And that was nine hours, which is great. I love it. Food was incredible. Love hanging out.
00:35:23.440 But and then the next day they did another Christmas with the great grandparents,
00:35:27.340 which was again, it was great. But at a certain point, it's like, can we just do Hanukkah?
00:35:35.900 Yeah, it's eight days. We don't have to give as many gifts. We don't have to wrap anything. I guess
00:35:42.740 Jews kind of wrap stuff. There is Hanukkah wrapping paper, but it's not very. But holy Christ.
00:35:51.020 Yeah, because people are messaging me going, oh, I thought you were Jewish. Why are you doing
00:35:54.540 Christmas? Because my kids mom's family is Christian and they do fucking Christmas. My dad's Jewish. My mom
00:36:03.720 was not Jewish. We did Christmas every year. And my mom and my grandma would decorate the house with
00:36:10.160 wreaths and Christmas things down the staircase with the curly tree thing and the lights. And my dad,
00:36:18.840 who's Jewish, would come home and you go with the lights and we're really doing this with the
00:36:24.780 Christmas and you're doing this shit, putting the tree. And he would just be so
00:36:30.740 about Christmas. But I liked it as a kid. Every kid likes Christmas. It's Christmas.
00:36:35.620 Put up the tree. Dingle bow, dingle bow. But my dad, yeah, he was a Jew. So and I remember
00:36:43.340 he wanted to do Hanukkah during Christmas. So we did Hanukkah. Then we lit the Hanukkah candles
00:36:48.040 and then they ended up catching the whole mantelpiece on fire and we our house almost
00:36:52.360 burnt down because of Hanukkah. So not saying anything, but yeah, it's they're both at the
00:37:01.080 same time. I guess Muslims, that's why they are so pissed off. They feel left out. Hanukkah
00:37:07.200 and Christmas are at the same time and the Muslims are sitting there like, well, I have nothing
00:37:11.480 to celebrate. Maybe let's do a drive through. Should have went to Wendy's instead of the Christmas
00:37:17.780 market, for God's sakes, these people. He's got that people. You see Don Cherry. Don Cherry
00:37:25.280 is like a big Canada icon. He's like a hockey announcer. He's like the guy who did. He's
00:37:32.020 like the John Madden of Canada. And he got fired from his job that he had for like 50 years.
00:37:38.040 He was the halftime after the first period, before the second period, coach's corner. Don
00:37:45.080 Cherry would come on and it was a Canadian thing. And he would, he would just be kind
00:37:49.320 of racist a little bit. It was funny. He'd always make fun of the European players like,
00:37:52.580 oh, they're fucking taking a dive. That wasn't a, I wasn't an injury. He's fucking faking it
00:37:57.040 and making fun of them for having visors. Like, you know, oh, you're afraid of getting hit
00:38:01.780 with a puck in the eye. Are you pal? He was cool. And then he said that he called immigrants,
00:38:07.460 you people when referring to our veterans day or veterans day in Canada, remembrance day
00:38:13.060 that you're supposed to put the poppy on and outside the grocery store, you give a kid
00:38:17.160 50 cents and you put, buy a poppy. And he was saying that these immigrants are not doing
00:38:22.740 it. You people need to go down there and get a poppy. And he wasn't telling them to leave
00:38:26.300 the country. He's just telling them, Hey, take part in our fucking fucking culture, man.
00:38:33.280 And they fired him for it because he said, you people, they fired a guy, like an 83 year
00:38:39.960 old man from the biggest network in Canada. And he's one of the most well-known sports
00:38:47.500 icons in the country. They fired him over that, but it was pretty awesome at Christmas. He posted
00:38:53.140 him carving the Turkey and it just says, I hope you people have a nice Christmas.
00:38:59.760 Got to love Don, man. Got to love Don. Uh, yeah. Other than that, gambled a bit at the casino.
00:39:13.680 Didn't lose that much money. I don't really like gambling that much, but when I'm in Texas
00:39:17.700 and I'm away from gambling and you can't gamble, you can't gamble on your phone.
00:39:22.520 Like I'll gamble a couple hundred bucks on my phone every month if I'm living in a place with
00:39:26.800 gambling. But if I'm, if it's not, then I just don't do it. And I forget about it.
00:39:31.240 That's why sometimes these laws actually work. Like Texas where it's like, actually that's
00:39:36.220 illegal. And it's like, Oh, I guess I just won't do it. And then you're like, Oh, I guess
00:39:38.640 I don't. Maybe that was making my life worse. I don't, maybe this, maybe the government's
00:39:43.700 right. I don't know. I still think you should be able to do it, but Canada just has a big
00:39:49.780 gambling culture. Huge. I remember I was at one slot and there was like an old Chinese
00:39:54.080 woman next to me. And I, she was like, Oh, that's really good. Like I've hit some things.
00:39:59.000 I was like, it was like the money was going up. I only won like 80 bucks, but she's sitting
00:40:06.220 there. So that's a really good easy dollar. And I look over, she's got 500 bucks in her account
00:40:13.180 and she's not winning shit. She just puts 500 in and just fucking rips. It's crazy.
00:40:18.500 But that's how it's done. I think that is how you win slots. You have to put 500 bucks
00:40:23.560 in and just bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, even a hundred bucks by you might just run out.
00:40:29.080 Like it's basically just every there's eventually you're going to win something at these machines,
00:40:35.020 but you have to be willing to lose 600 bucks to hit that. And Oh, and now I won 1200, but
00:40:43.220 Canada is kind of cool for that, for the gambling, you know, new year's Eve was fun.
00:40:49.880 Saw some friends after, I mean, it was fun after the whole bullshit thing at the comedy
00:40:57.760 club. God, so many people just like, you're, that was hilarious messaging me. That's hilarious.
00:41:04.020 And this guy just, I get it. People are mad. People stay mad. You're mad that I'm successful.
00:41:09.560 Stay mad, man. I mean, how successful, like, I mean, I don't have a fucking podcast set.
00:41:16.200 I'm doing it half in the dark with my glasses on at 7 PM and my dad's old office room where
00:41:23.020 it's fucking used to lie in here and jerk off and shit. This is got my hockey trophies and
00:41:30.960 stuff to look at, which is kind of nice. I actually don't mind that.
00:41:39.940 So excited to be back to watch the inauguration of Donald J. Trump is going to be epic.
00:41:49.680 It's going to be beautiful. It might, I'm, I'm, I'm be honest. It might bring a tear to my eye.
00:41:53.660 It might bring a tear to my eye. I might cry as much as when I just recently rewatched the Lion King
00:42:00.840 with my kid during Trump's upcoming inauguration. I might shed a few tears of joy of, of pure
00:42:10.800 elation and joy. Meanwhile, in Canada, this whole Trump wanting to take over Canada thing is obviously
00:42:21.680 a big topic that everybody is talking about. I mean, there's not a lot out, a boot, a boot.
00:42:28.460 What have you been talking about? Oh, I've been talking about how we're going to become
00:42:31.900 fucking 51st state. Holy shit. But the Canadians are a little worried. And if anything, it might
00:42:39.500 actually be better for Trudeau politically. If the, I mean, if they don't actually become the 51st
00:42:45.180 state and Canada stays Canada, now you're going to have more people wanting to vote for Trudeau
00:42:49.800 because they're scared that maybe Pierre Polyev could just sell us to the United States, which
00:42:55.420 wouldn't be that bad of a thing. Cause as Trump said, he would lower our taxes by 60%. Who doesn't
00:43:01.240 like that? And actually having real money instead of the fake little Canadian monopoly money, we can
00:43:06.320 have a real $1 bill in Canada. So that's how I, that's how I'm looking at it as Trudeau could benefit
00:43:21.600 from Trump trying to make us make Canada the 51st state. And, uh, that's scary because right now I've
00:43:32.500 been seeing that Canada has something called CBC comedy. It's like CNN. Imagine CNN was owned by the
00:43:42.240 government, which it is through subsidies and other avenues, but imagine it was just explicitly owned
00:43:47.060 by the government like a PBS, but it was CNN. So kind of like PBS CBC has a comedy division where, as you
00:43:55.640 can imagine, the comedians are either, um, woke white people or like homosexual Muslims, gay, fat Muslims,
00:44:07.140 that kind of, those are the kinds of comics that they have on. And these comics in Canada, their whole
00:44:14.280 shtick is how do we pretend to lightly make fun of Trudeau while actually making him look good,
00:44:22.400 which is an art form. I'm not going to deny that. They're not comedians. The people who work at CBC
00:44:28.340 or who write for this hour is 22 minutes. They are, they have funny things that they've written,
00:44:35.100 but they're not comedians in this as much as their marketing specialists on how to make Trudeau not
00:44:41.160 look as bad as he really does. And they just had a sketch that I saw that was kind of funny where
00:44:45.900 they it's, they make, they're with Trudeau and he's unraveling this flag and it looks like a
00:44:50.980 fuck Trudeau flag, but it says, good luck, Trudeau. And I get that. That's classic, like
00:44:56.020 Newfoundland, Canada humor, like, Oh, you almost thought it was something else, didn't you?
00:45:00.960 But my point in this is it's as much as it's like a, and he's like, Oh, I hope good luck.
00:45:11.260 Cause you're going to need it. Like, that's the joke is that you're saying that Trudeau is not
00:45:18.240 doing that well, but he's going to need some luck, but really you're uplifting him and liking him and
00:45:23.680 giving him a present that he's going to laugh at. It's, it's just all pathetic. It's the same thing
00:45:29.920 in the States with, you know, the Colbert's and the, and the Kimmel and the Fallon, the late night
00:45:38.680 shows, what they've become these it's, it's just a one-sided every Trump is bad, no matter what
00:45:44.700 thing. And it's just, it's, it's honestly embarrassing. I was happy that my, my girl's
00:45:51.720 dad, my kid's mom's dad has, uh, kind of switched over to the dark side. He was kind of a just going
00:46:02.780 so lib, so liberal during the pandemic. And then Trump won and he was so against Trump, but that
00:46:08.640 and now he's hearing all these ideas that Trump has for crypto. And he's like, well, some of those
00:46:13.480 ideas are kind of good. There you go. Only one candidate is thinking about the future or, I mean,
00:46:21.400 it's already over, but during that election, it was the status quo versus we need to go into the
00:46:28.380 future with Elon. And now all these people hating Elon and I've been reading Elon's book. And if you
00:46:33.760 read his book and you kind of learn about who he is and then you see the attacks on him, it really
00:46:43.080 is disgusting because the guy's a fucking genius, no matter what he created. His, his first company
00:46:50.340 was zip two, which was basically Google maps. Like Elon Musk created the idea for Google maps with that
00:46:58.560 app that got sold. And then the technology got sold a million times and Google bought it and other
00:47:04.600 companies bought it later. And the ideas of it, the patents for it to make Google maps and things
00:47:10.960 like that. But people don't realize this PayPal, like that changed banking forever. It, that opened
00:47:17.100 avenues for Venmo's and cash apps and all these other apps and Zelle. It was all because he's a
00:47:25.980 pioneer. Tesla was the first real major EV company. So everybody, you know, Oh, well,
00:47:35.920 he's influencing this election. Yeah. Well, at least we know who the billionaires who are influencing
00:47:40.080 Trump are, right? Like, so everybody says, Oh, Elon Musk is, he's a billionaire and he's influencing
00:47:48.340 Trump's decisions. Well, at least with Trump, we know who the billionaires are that are backing
00:47:55.800 him and influencing him. Unlike how many faceless nameless, I mean, name, they have names Epstein
00:48:04.440 tons of donors, billionaires that backed Kamala Harris, but they're not really famous people that
00:48:14.340 we, that have followings that, that we understand what their points of view are. They have crazy,
00:48:20.600 weird agendas versus Trump's famous number one, and Elon's famous. And a lot of the other people
00:48:28.080 who are backing him are famous. And we all agree with what they want to do, because what they want
00:48:32.380 to do is make everybody's life better. Trump was the first politician here on new year's. They asked
00:48:37.120 him some, a question. He goes, I just want everybody to have, be happy and healthy. And it's like,
00:48:44.920 no, no, no politician has ever said that in so long. And that's all people want is to be happy
00:48:51.640 and healthy and financially stable. That's what, and, and has Trudeau ever said, Oh, I want you guys
00:48:58.500 to be happy. No. He said, if you disagree with me, I'll shut down your bank account. And if you don't
00:49:03.200 get vaccinated, you lose your job. So obviously, you know, Oh, well, Trump's message is really
00:49:10.300 resonating with people. Yeah. Oh, you think, yeah. You think you think that the idea of making
00:49:15.840 things cheaper, more affordable, making the country better, more competitive,
00:49:20.400 these people just don't understand that. Yeah. What was your message? Your message was,
00:49:28.920 uh, let's just, can we just focus on trans people for like the rest of everybody's life?
00:49:35.580 That wasn't on that message was not working.
00:49:38.020 It wasn't, it was, is stupid. It's really just stupid. The whole angle, all this, all the woke
00:49:48.460 stuff, what say what you want, but the end of the day, all of it is just stupid. The people who
00:49:55.600 believe in the woke stuff, they try to use like the woman who was mad at me after a show I did
00:50:01.260 recently going, you are uneducated. It's like, actually, no, I'm educated way more than you.
00:50:06.340 Like I, the people saying you're uneducated. It's like, what do you, where do you work? Oh,
00:50:10.080 you're an office manager at a chemical plant in the fucking industrial park. Like, oh yeah,
00:50:16.080 you're really educated. These people don't know anything who are woke and stuff like that.
00:50:22.380 They're not educated. Oh, they went, I went to university in 1983 and we, no, you, yeah. Shut the
00:50:28.700 fuck up. All these old people online that are lefties that are like, oh, you don't understand
00:50:34.400 it. No, your time is done. You don't know what the fuck's going on. You don't know the struggle
00:50:39.680 of the common person. And a lot of those people, they grew up with the idea that nobody's special.
00:50:44.380 They never wanted to be special. They never wanted to amount to anything. And now they live in a one
00:50:48.420 bedroom apartment and they're, you know, 72 or 65 or whatever. And they're on Twitter going, oh,
00:50:56.160 Trudeau is better than Trump. You're fucking retarded. But, um, but at the end of the day,
00:51:05.080 like I said, all the woke stuff and the ideas are really just stupid. They're counterintuitive.
00:51:11.160 They make people more hateful, more divisive, more angry. They're the four years that Biden was in.
00:51:21.920 There's not even a single thing. There's not a single good thing he did except for, for his own
00:51:28.000 family, making sure that his son didn't have to, you know, go to jail. That was the only really good
00:51:35.560 thing that he did. So it's tough. It's tough. How stupid people are. I am happy to be in Austin.
00:51:44.400 I think people in, in a lot of ways, there are smarter people, more realistic people in Texas than
00:51:50.360 for sure. Ontario, Canada, people are out of the loop. They live in these cities that nobody's ever
00:51:57.720 heard of. People have heard of Toronto, but as soon as you go to another city, nope, people in
00:52:02.080 America don't know St. Catherine's. Okay. I, there was somebody in America saying that, oh, they flew
00:52:08.580 to, they flew from the States to Hamilton to party and then flew back. I'm like, that is dark.
00:52:15.000 The fact you left America and took a direct flight to Hamilton, Ontario, Canada is insane to me,
00:52:25.420 but to them, they're probably like, oh, Hamilton. It's like a fucking city, you know, and it's like
00:52:31.400 Greensboro. Anyway, we got a lot of dates coming up. If you've been listening this long for the love
00:52:38.220 of God, share this podcast with 10 people. If there are 10 people that, you know, know who I am.
00:52:46.240 They follow my Instagram. You can go and look at your mutuals. Who else follows you and send them my
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00:53:16.980 Let's get the word out. 2025. This is our year, folks. Fuck everybody. We're steamrolling people
00:53:24.460 because like when I was in sales, we horse blinders. That's when you just focus horse blinders are on
00:53:33.240 2025 looking straight ahead at your goals. You don't give a fuck about anybody out there horse blinders.
00:53:40.860 And then we steamroll. So you're steamrolling with horse blinders on you're on a steamroller fucking
00:53:46.000 just that's my 2025 vibe horse blinders steamroller. Let's go bankers podcast. Let's make this number
00:53:58.220 one podcast in 2025. Make it your number one podcast. Share it with your friends and I'll see you on the
00:54:09.040 road. You want to hear some of my dates, some of my comedy dates before I'm out of here. January 23rd,
00:54:16.000 Rochester, New York, January 26th. I'm going to be in Washington, D.C. January 26th. You got to come
00:54:26.060 out and see me in Washington, D.C. It's going to be a crazy show right after the inauguration.
00:54:30.760 January 24th, Avenel, New Jersey. I skipped that one because it is sold out. Avenel loves me. I love you.
00:54:37.420 People are probably driving from NYC for the show or other parts of New Jersey. Next time we're there,
00:54:44.300 we're going to do four shows. Love the excitement. Like I said, January 26th, Washington, D.C. January
00:54:51.320 30th, just outside Edmonton, Alberta in Canada and Enoch at the River Cree Resort and Casino.
00:54:57.700 February 4th, my birthday, Off the Hook Comedy Club, Naples, Florida. Wednesday, February 5th,
00:55:05.400 Miami Improv Comedy Theater, Miami, Florida. Thursday, February 6th, Tampa, Florida. February
00:55:11.520 7th, Ocala, Florida. February 20th, Salt Lake City. February 21st, Las Vegas, Nevada. February 22nd,
00:55:19.800 Las Vegas, Nevada. And then I have pretty much nothing until April. Halifax, Charlottetown, all Canadian
00:55:27.780 dates. Toronto shows are almost sold out. I think the first night sold out. May 9th, Detroit House
00:55:35.720 of Comedy. May 9th, 10th. And I'm going to be in Detroit. Bloomington, Minnesota, just outside of
00:55:44.040 Minneapolis on May 16th. May 23rd, Boston, four shows. It's going to be a great weekend.
00:55:56.560 And then we're already booked into June. Levittown, New York, July, Cleveland, Ohio, Chicago, Illinois
00:56:03.920 in August, four shows. Rosemont, Illinois in August, Plano, Texas in August. And then
00:56:11.640 the last gig that I have booked right now for now is October 16th in Vancouver, just outside
00:56:20.000 Vancouver, New Westminster. Four shows at the Comedy Club there, which I love that club. And
00:56:25.020 the best Asian food in that area. Folks, thank you so much for tuning into the podcast. Let
00:56:30.080 me know in the comments how you like this episode. Tell your friends. We will see you in a couple
00:56:35.080 days. I'll be back in Texas in my studio, studio, my office, and we will be ripping podcasts
00:56:41.560 all month. Good night.