Fentanorr ｜ The Bankas Show - #029
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
162.79523
Summary
In this episode of the Bank of Show, we talk about comedy in Canada, the rise of the comedy club scene, and the rise and fall of stand-up comedy in the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s.
Transcript
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good evening and welcome to the bank of show this is uh this is an emergency episode we're putting
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out an emergency uh f what is it sos fof if you're chinese i gotta stop making chinese jokes i'm
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addicted to it and i have to uh stop i'm addicted to it's like fentanyl for me it's like chinese
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fentanyl to just go fentanyl my fentanyl and after events for yeah i just wake up and go but
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like chinese politicians in canada keep saying things and it keeps speaking they brought back
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what was i supposed to do i try to get up what they pull me back in well but i'm just saying that
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they say stuff and you know that goes viral yeah them saying something goes viral right yeah so
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then because they're politicians yeah right so then when i go oh what did she say
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people get mad people love it people get mad or they love it yeah i love it personally i laugh
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i laugh at everything i mean some people are not remembering when every night people were
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entertained by comedy they went and watched comedy network we had the we had channel in canada we had
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channel 44 yeah i remember that comedy network it was like basically the canadian comedy central
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and it was like the chapelle show followed by south park followed by they'd have sitcoms during the day
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and then sometimes it'd be actual stand-up comedy there was yeah there was some of it would be
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funny some of it would be okay then there was what's it called ray romano shit what was that
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everybody loves raymond like everybody loves whatever there was king of queens yeah
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yeah i would watch king of queens and relate to it it was like a kid in gray three it was weird that i
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was so fat i would go home and watch king of queens in like whatever maybe i guess i was like a teenager
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and i would always be like this should i shouldn't be entertained by this this is stupid
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but now you grew up now you are the king of queens yeah that guy with a hot girlfriend
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you ever watch an episode of corner gas and put a gun in your mouth
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i legitimately could not get into corner gas there were multiple times where i tried the corner gas
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the canadian sitcom but it was it just it was a canadian sitcom i watched if you're from like a
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different part if you're from toronto it's not relatable i watched it because i had nothing else
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to watch and i was always just kind of you didn't have cable no i had cable but it's just there was
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nothing else like interesting on tv i'd watch that over like a cartoon and i was just like what is
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and there's like the native cop and the hot blonde cop
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it sucks that there's there was probably such better ideas for shows at the time too
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like there were funnier comedians that were probably like what if we do this and that they
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were like no no they let tom green kind of do whatever he wanted on like rogers tv they would
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never rogers there's some never there's some great like cable that's access cable they would
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never let anybody but that was then this is now it's then on access cable i could have probably
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went around going and they would have been like you could have got a show on showcase or something
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like kenny verspenny right oh like kenny verspenny comedy well they used to play stand-up right
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what was that club it was like early 2000s russell peters did a bunch of canadian comics that they
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would like broadcast it it was like a tv show and it was like stand-up um like there's a couple of
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those hbo had some things but um which one is it the one that bill burles 44 oh club 54
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club 54 that's the one yeah that was that was dark that was like all that played when we were in
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winnipeg on tv like over and over yeah it was just something like this is your future
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but people don't even know what we're talking about that but okay a lot of people have been
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asking me this week what does it mean to get signed to yuck yucks because you got signed to
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yuck yucks what does it mean uh your family hates you forever that's what it means for you
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but what it means in terms of what the fuck it means like people don't know what that is like
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it's literally the most confusing thing so we have to tell them you can't stick them off you
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it's just you can't ever admit to the existence of this thing there's one canadian club that has like
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franchises which is across the country which is yuck yucks one right and getting signed to yuck yucks
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means armin's now like on the roster to get paid to play all those cross-country he's like gonna be
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sent out before they were like you can try out basically auditioning every week in front of live
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audiences to get on with yuck yucks um like to to be on that roster so that then they give you work
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there's people who've been trying to get on yuck yucks for 15 years there's one guy that we know he
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he does he's like uh you he's like he sells popcorn at the baseball games okay and he does
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he used to dress up like a bat he used to dress up like a bat he had a viral video once he had a
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one million view video 13 years but anyway i'm just saying that there are people so what the tuesday
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nights are amateur nights at yuck yucks right and you go there amateur i go there because i'm still
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working because i'm an amateur pros can pros drop in to do like new stuff or fuck around at the
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amateur nights i still go there because i'm not i'm there every week you guys don't get it
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no this is just how bad canadian comedy is is that or toronto how bad this toronto comedy scene is
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yeah because no one else runs the only show that i first of all i'm allowed to do and also that exists
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is the tuesday night amateur night at yucks it's the most it's the biggest crowd you can perform
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in front of on a tuesday night if you're working on shit as a pro so pros drop in there which is
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actually kind of cool it kind of makes amateur night kind of cool because i'm i try to be there
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every week some weeks they're like i have to let somebody else do it because you did 40 minutes
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you cost us another three thousand dollars that we had to pay 80 indian people because you had to
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do a joke about an indian guy for 40 minutes so um 40 minute long
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so um tuesday nights though the amateurs they sign up to be on tuesday nights they send an email to this
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one guy named named he shall not be named he's a man
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no there's a booker that that books in he gets like a
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i couldn't think of your name i thought your name was arabia
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thanks man yeah then there's a tuesday night showcase that passes you to wednesdays arabia
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it's my opener start calling you arabia when my chick kicks in
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um it's gonna be fucked up where's arabia my best friend where's my opener
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no that's such a nightmare i have to record you're just always gonna feel like you have to record
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yuck yucks getting signed a bunch of amateurs you get on amateur night and if you do well
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like more than once they do well once they bring you back you keep doing well on amateur night and then
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they will put you on a showcase and you'll showcase for the owner of yucks who's mark breslin
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and if he likes you then he'll either sign you right away or he'll put you on
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the wednesday show which is where all the people who've been trying to get on yucks for 10 years
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are still performing for some reason so and it's purgatory yeah they're like in purgatory it's
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it's it's it's hard it's a hard life so the wednesdays is a hard life and then if you get
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good if if they like you on wednesdays then they'll just be like you're signed or something pretty much
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um otherwise you just stay there for a decade um so and then you get signed and then you get work
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yeah but once you're signed so you're on the roster you could still get no work
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something bad whether you bomb maybe bombing's not the worst thing that can happen they're like
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no no no i brought a gun to you actually yeah no this guy's going to go to church
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getting to fight with somebody yeah say the n-word like yeah like you get get a show canceled because
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like you got to fight with people who book it like i don't yeah like honestly it's kind of good
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though you're you're pretty much in you're a made man i'm a made guy you can perform comedy
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yeah thank you you've been made man at yuck yucks you can have any song you
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fuck with armada bobby you fuck with all of yuck you could fly or you could just be like i want to
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like when we go to alberta though and stuff and like we go back to yucks oh yeah we could like
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stay a couple like you could be like yo they could be like you want to do next weekend we'll
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sign like and you know what i mean and then you all fly back later and then you don't make any
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money but it's all free it's awesome you're even yo ben i want to spend all the money i made on
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tour with you right now yo i want to do it again but make less money but yeah but exactly exactly
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yeah that'd be cool yeah right i would love that so but like yeah you you still have to be
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entrepreneurial about it you have to figure out bro i got a yucks contract i'm getting my g2
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that's actually actually that's more important than that's actually more important than a yucks
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contract yeah yeah but it's like if i had a driver's license where am i going wait wait they're
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like both equally important i'm saying comedy is like the ability to be like get to the road gigs
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like that's going to get you more work it's beautiful you're my student and you did it kid
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you think it did you think it did it i told i told i they said they'll never let another muslim in there
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after what's that other guy that he got fired who foe ed no he never got signed um he's fired like
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wait no no there was no there was a comic recently who just oh i am yeah that's because he kept
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performing at places he wasn't allowed to yeah because he's stupid yeah you should look at the camera and
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said and say that because i took your job um yeah the shows were great though this this past little
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week here we did burlington right two sold out gigs in burlington yeah back to back that was nuts
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actually this was wild yeah we just ripped through that and then friday was kind of like a day off
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for you i went to yucks i got a spot and saturday we did downtown club yeah and then we bombed yeah
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you bombed sorry i scared people no because what happened was i was talking to uh the audience and
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there was like this woman that she wouldn't shut up yeah and i was like you look like portuguese jab
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of the hut yeah and it was too hard because she was like really fat and she was eating she was distracting
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me she kept she had an empty popcorn thing and she just kept reaching into it like and rattling around
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the kernels like looking for more popcorn i was just like i was getting really i'm fat i'm allowed
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to make fun of fat people it's not how it works like if you're black you make fun of blacks yeah but
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it's a fat woman yeah yeah well i'm trans yeah i'm bolivia joe oh you should see my pussy
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i can make a pussy i just hold my asshole and my balls
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cut an incision in my paint look at this tuck your sack back i well like oh dude we should
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dress you in drag can we do drag three of us don't even film it drag time comedy hour
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just dress up like women that's what this is all that's what this is becoming is the the left-wing
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people are slowly they're like i don't even do drag and like the right-wing people are in drag
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being like look how gay they are remember it's me it's me doing olivia being like whoa
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but maybe i don't know chinese woman with a flat ass i did do theater in high school
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no no but i did i also played hockey so i was like half theater kid half i was assistant
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captain of the hockey team and now i'm now i'm telling
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theater first hockey you live in markup like he has all the talent of a theater kid but he's racist
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what have we done if you if you took theater and played sports in high school you're just racist
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now yeah you're just really good at well because yeah you just did the accent in a locker room with
00:14:10.980
a bunch of kids yeah i didn't really i don't know if i did chinese accents with oh i did it to my
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i did it with my mom you for my mom would love it when i would do a chinese and we'd see a chinese
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because there was this guy in my high school named howard dong and i was telling my mom about that
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she just died laughing at howard dong she would just that was literally all she'd say she'd be like
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remember that one camera oh yeah just kill every time oh it's just yeah it's racist it's funny
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we had a friend named henry zhao my mom was like are you hawaiian
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yeah and she was like you're too good looking to be chinese this is just trying to
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fuck that kid she was a teacher oh oh she had sex with zivoli
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henry zhao's out there yeah i saw him yeah he lives in matt's building
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the guy who used to own the world comedy theater sold it and sold the whole building right before
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i right as i was started selling out every tuesday yeah he was like i actually like running
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or every monday club yeah i was making good money every week selling that show out and then he sold
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the club so now we're doing it monthly it's at yuck yuck september 27th go get tickets but um
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what else so yeah that saturday night show was just weird you killed you also went on before me and
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murdered yeah a little too hard for my liking oh yeah sorry buddy well but you but you had to too
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because like mark was there the owner who just signed you he was there so i had to leave it's
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like people like what's it like being signed to yuck yucks i think the best way to describe it is
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it's like getting signed to like a minor hockey league team
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yeah it's like the coach like that'd be like like the g they didn't well depending i played single
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a there was no owner but there was like this the giant tiger that sponsors the coach was like
00:16:08.260
he'd watch you and then he would be like come here yeah look i think we're going to sign you
00:16:12.500
but you need to you need to get your cardio up that's what he's always telling me because i was
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fat yeah i don't think you can make it for 45 minutes you're gonna get out of breath
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like that's a good euphorism for your fat but that's what it's like it's like getting signed
00:16:27.460
they finally that that's the excitement of like yo i'm signing a contract i'm 12 years old i'm
00:16:31.940
gonna play for the penguins it's like toronto bang but it's cool well obviously it's way cool
00:16:38.180
but that's the similar it's the first real job i've ever had it's fucking i've only ever been like
00:16:43.540
a bartender this guy's the luckiest man on earth that's good oh i poured the gin in a cup and then
00:16:50.100
i was just ben bankers's friend i don't have a place to live but i have a porch i sleep in the
00:16:58.980
bush and ben bankers's parking garage whoa answer that on the pod this content who is that
00:17:05.220
is it probably a fake number okay so answer answer answer answer put it up to the thing hello
00:17:14.260
hi this is matt calling you from rogers i've been doing well today uh yeah doing great what's up
00:17:21.460
i'm good thanks for asking uh well the reason of this call we are offering you the home phone
00:17:26.180
internet and tv battle in just 85 dollars a month so i believe you're not using rogers i'm a billionaire
00:17:38.980
do you understand are you using do you understand how much money i have 100 billion dollars
00:17:47.300
so what why would i need why would i need why would i need
00:17:50.580
rogers what is roger who is roger i'm offered to buy the company how much how much do you make this
00:18:01.620
year i'll give you i'll give you a hundred thousand dollars right now to hang up
00:18:07.780
thank you so much we don't need that i'm gonna give it to you as a gift i want to give you specifically
00:18:13.300
what's your name thank you so much we don't need that for from your side we are working hard for
00:18:20.580
that i'm gonna give you 800 million dollars to hang up this phone
00:18:24.420
that was so much money i cannot say no i have to hang up
00:18:42.580
you just get fired from rogers he's like but i thought i was gonna get 800 million dollars
00:18:56.980
oh my god we should make that sketch a guy thinks he's got selected for mr beast
00:19:00.580
we should just we should just do that we should just prank call random indian people in the phone
00:19:15.140
book and no what we do we order we order ubers and we go yo we call the uber we go today's your
00:19:21.460
lucky day i'm giving you one thousand dollars canceled it's right just ordering what just
00:19:31.220
order an indian guy to like come to your place and just be like yo if you cancel this ride i'll
00:19:35.060
give you a thousand dollars just cancel the ride and just parked outside and then you just film them
00:19:41.540
being like what the fuck well we could we could prove that that um uber drivers are actually just
00:19:49.380
a slave class because we could just like start asking them to do random stuff can you make every
00:19:54.340
pointer and leave i'll give you 15 i'll give you a hundred dollars right now to slam on the like
00:20:00.420
i don't know run this red light oh yeah that is good content no that's illegal i'll give you 15
00:20:07.140
is that illegal yeah you're offering someone money to like on camera to run a red light that's
00:20:14.020
subscribe to patreon you'll see us break numerous laws i got a new idea for a video where we rob a
00:20:26.340
toxic driver this episode is brought to you by um patreon patreon.com slash ben bankers please uh go to
00:20:49.060
patreon.com slash ben bankers and you can sign up to get access to
00:20:55.700
tens of hours right now there's about 30 hours of bonus content um tens of tens of hours
00:21:04.980
hours come on we got hundreds of hours up there hundreds of hours was it really to this point yeah
00:21:15.620
we've got at least 50 episodes i'm trying to sell them guys um we need you to sign up because
00:21:23.940
um i didn't realize car insurance i had to pay it and uh i didn't pay it that's a bonus
00:21:30.740
to you no uh we don't really give a shit if you uh sign up or not how about that reverse psychology
00:21:40.420
yeah but don't sign up yeah don't you dare if you fucking sign up for patreon i'm blocking there's
00:21:44.980
a picture of my friend's dick on it you're not selling this yeah you guys you want to see an ugly
00:21:50.660
cock matt baxter's dicks on it he had sex with a trans person
00:22:02.100
there's lots of stuff that we talk about early access to his comedy clips if you want to see
00:22:06.420
extended comedy clips from things you haven't seen behind the scenes videos sketches that he
00:22:11.220
hasn't uploaded because you would get taken down from instagram because they're too crazy if you love
00:22:15.460
all that you love the chow you love the sooyoung some of the good takes that we didn't that put
00:22:20.980
out emails that were too crazy for us and some of the episodes that are too crazy
00:22:25.540
like we might have an episode right disclose daniel boardman's home address and his parents
00:22:29.700
address in the postal well i just get really mad at him for doing so i might do it right now
00:22:37.700
if you subscribe right now if we if yeah if a hundred people join patreon from now to next week
00:22:44.420
six dollars a month armin will ruin my parents life eighty dollars a month to do this podcast that
00:22:50.660
will go towards at least a tank of gas for the car that i'm going to get
00:22:55.940
so subscribe so i can do burlington yachts yeah i'll give more than that
00:23:02.260
i'll give them i'll give these guys a third of my patreon
00:23:20.100
what do you owe me now i'll just put your money that i would owe you towards
00:23:26.820
it is funny watching you drink tiny cans like a gorilla
00:23:39.140
if you come to toronto you can see ben bane gorilla god
00:23:48.020
give me a cigarette let me have a cigarette in here
00:23:54.180
it's not my house were you asking me if you could have a cigarette you have the cigarettes
00:23:58.580
no he's saying no he let me drive his father's car
00:24:03.140
he let me merge without looking does it smell like cigarettes in here
00:24:06.740
no but i feel like if all boardman doesn't want to say no because he's like how many did you smoke
00:24:16.100
can we smoke a cigarette on camera in your parents house
00:24:23.860
fucking honored to watch ben bankers smoke a paul
00:24:26.740
i'm a fan of the fan that he's installed in the house
00:24:36.900
first thing you get from you sign up for patreon
00:24:38.980
okay now we got to talk about um trudeau went to india and was stuck on the tarmac in india
00:24:45.220
and the uh indians didn't know what to do because you had brown face on and a turban and they were
00:24:52.740
going no no you'll be dead on this and he was going no no no no no no no and so they had to uh
00:24:59.300
uh they had to put him in room what is it 101 yeah and uh the indian room 101 so
00:25:08.660
the torture that they do in there is they just they just play indian music
00:25:23.780
have you ever had tarmac and chicken but the whole 101 thing is like they take what you're
00:25:26.900
specifically afraid of so what would the indian government do for trudeau where they went
00:25:30.180
would it be ben bankers clips they just show me going they show him pictures of vaginas
00:25:35.860
just truckers just honking horns do you think he's gay trudeau
00:25:40.340
maybe i don't know buys why'd you get so gay about it i think he sucked a dick
00:25:53.940
him and ben malroney just held you down and it was during coney 2012
00:25:57.700
yeah yeah that's how how old were you during uh coney 2012
00:26:05.300
no i remember that was like a university thing for like us
00:26:12.500
uh i remember trolling my like grade eight art teacher about it and she like cried
00:26:17.380
kept being like this is bullshit then the guy got caught like having a meltdown jerking off
00:26:21.300
yeah kept showing her the article she's like he was trying to do the right thing and we're just
00:26:25.700
like yeah but he's a piece of shit jerking off and running kids who the the coney 2012
00:26:32.980
was like it was an exacerbated documentary that kind of made it seem like it was more of an issue
00:26:36.980
than it was so then it was a huge issue that it was all fraud and he embezzled all the money from
00:26:41.540
the organization so he just ran down the street naked jerking off it was like huge issue in like
00:26:45.940
2006 but it had kind of been solved mostly for like years prior to that but then like
00:26:49.940
cody 12 like the story whenever but it was like a weird religious cult that they were a part of
00:26:54.020
like save the children they had like these musical grand i was one of the children like
00:26:58.260
fucking like it weird cult-esque videos like join us go to the island youth leadership
00:27:03.620
and like high school musical level dance numbers it was it was fucking crazy
00:27:14.740
there's something so funny just thinking about like people from like scarborough
00:27:37.780
yeah that's why they had to make them they should just remake every movie with just like kind of
00:27:42.580
people which is what they're doing yeah but they make all the black people like hold on one
00:27:47.140
one well yeah i mean they want somebody they should make it like she a motherfucker it's a dinosaur
00:27:55.220
i see what you're saying they gotta get chris tucker yes
00:27:58.500
chris tucker i'd love to drive jackie chan chris tucker rush hour five
00:28:03.140
you're the you're the new villain in bush hour five
00:28:29.860
fucking girl from the first rush hour film i swear
00:28:36.900
yeah the daughter that's missing yeah yeah yeah i think it is
00:28:41.300
people are so like mean to me about they're just like they're so mean to me
00:28:46.180
maybe that was the girl from rush hour one like not that it like hurts me but they they're
00:28:50.260
trying they try to be mean but i think i'm so much meaner than them so it's almost like
00:28:53.860
oh yeah replies it's just like your cat will not even remember you
00:28:57.060
you're a useless piece of garbage you insignificant speck you will die alone
00:29:03.940
it's like bro i'm 14 dude i don't know i just didn't get the joke
00:29:09.700
i'm from wisconsin like i don't know who olivia chow even is
00:29:11.940
i love replying to on tiktok specifically just because it's
00:29:19.220
people deserve to be uh to have their feelings hurt on tiktok
00:29:25.060
you're like batman but you take your vengeance out online
00:29:27.860
tiktok i go on tiktok and i go who's the youngest child i can make kill themselves
00:29:42.580
kill yourself you are 36 if there was imagine there's no censorship though like
00:29:51.060
like i think censorship almost makes people comment more yeah because they're kind of like
00:29:54.660
protected from being told that they're losers like yeah because it's like they're like this
00:29:59.140
isn't good this is and but like if there was no censorship you're like shut up you
00:30:02.740
fucking faggot go fucking kill yourself and then they would just be like okay and then it would
00:30:14.020
make this person kill themself button where you just yeah chat you just push it and it just says
00:30:18.580
the meanest possible thing reply i think it's just called being friends with ben bank is handing
00:30:23.380
up your phone what do you say to this guy hold on you got an app
00:30:32.980
you should have like a cameo service where you just write the or it's an app where like you can
00:30:37.220
like say yo ben bank is will text the meanest thing he can in this conversation like adventure
00:30:43.780
your phone buzzes i got to ruin this woman's life for a hundred dollars no i think that um
00:30:49.620
um generally i think it's better to just not reply unless like but like i i've noticed recently
00:30:56.180
like a lot of creators like reply to the beef to a lot of shit just everything well it's good some
00:31:03.780
people do yeah some i i try not to do to everything really well yeah but sometimes sometimes i'll go
00:31:09.460
back and i'll be like oh and i'll like reply to a bunch of people in like a video from like a week
00:31:13.540
ago or something which i think is like cooler than like doing it right away to like much but even then
00:31:19.140
it's like what like i don't know like but people appreciate it they want to communicate right so when
00:31:26.420
they say this you know something and then i say something like crazier back i it's funny but it's
00:31:36.020
probably not probably shouldn't just not talk to any anybody not talk to anyone no you talk to
00:31:42.580
some people but bank house hides it it'd be better if i just had somebody like manage my social media
00:31:46.660
i just send like here's a video yeah but then i wouldn't look at it all i don't think yeah but i
00:31:53.140
think it's only on tick tock because i really just don't care about tick tock and i just think everybody
00:31:57.060
on there is just a retard yeah and like people need to be put like i'll be honest people need to be put
00:32:03.460
in their place i think a little bit like the the woman in a mask driving you just wouldn't move
00:32:09.380
for well like it's like the same thing when i like post all their videos they make of me on like
00:32:13.540
instagram and then all my fans just like ruthlessly like tear them apart and it's like
00:32:18.740
sorry what did you expect bitch like fuck you thought you were gonna fucking do like
00:32:24.340
what the like and because in their world it's like i'm like oh my god they're right
00:32:29.060
until they're attacking oh i was exposed videos but then i'm just like oh look at these faggots
00:32:35.300
and then everybody's like this is hilarious i'm gonna buy tickets and then it's like yeah sorry you
00:32:38.900
lose i won that's kind of i won yeah it's like i get the whole like you know joe rogan like don't
00:32:46.660
look at the comment don't even don't roll but like if you're at that level obviously if you have
00:32:51.700
a hundred million dollars from fucking whatever if you have a hundred million if you have if i had
00:32:56.580
if i had over 100k i think even like i think like i think i'm be honest i'm a little self-conscious
00:33:03.780
because i'm like why am i stuck at 79k and it'll go up and then i'll loot and then i'll post one thing
00:33:10.020
and it's like so sensitive like that people are like no i hate that i love it it's just like this like
00:33:15.700
crazy little thing i'm in right now where it's like i there's something has to happen where it
00:33:22.420
goes to the next it's crazy level i think we have to take it to the next level i think it's sketches
00:33:28.820
i think it's the podcast i think it's all that kind of stuff i think once i get a car you're gonna get
00:33:32.740
a million dollars yeah 2011 miata master miata 1986 old mobile
00:33:44.900
but that's uh if any fans have a car that they want to give me you can uh give me your car
00:33:51.300
that's it it's a whole podcast it was 30 minutes
00:33:53.540
subscribe to me we need money because we're a retarded
00:34:15.860
and then like i have other retarded my fan like some of my retarded fans they like try to give me
00:34:20.740
advice like bro you gotta stop doing that or like i'll tell you what you gotta start doing
00:34:26.580
you gotta make a video of blackface it's time people have told me that yeah that's liam used
00:34:30.740
to tell me to make a video of yellow face which is what i do every day and then he died
00:34:43.780
liam was the most racist then you can listen to that he was legitimately racist
00:34:47.620
so yeah that's 25 a month of our dead friend our friend two weeks before he died did my podcast
00:35:04.260
well ben and i were starting to record a podcast
00:35:06.260
that was his last will and testament was your podcast yeah he was like i'm gonna say my last
00:35:11.780
statements yeah to the most horrifically racist things don't demand
00:35:17.380
but like funny and also inside no they were very funny i mean yeah like they were just like kill
00:35:22.260
them immediately it was more like kill them but in a week do you want to know what drove a sad white
00:35:38.980
we literally we have a podcast that we recorded three weeks ago on a dead guy's voice
00:35:57.140
i feel the spirit of liam every time i put on the the wig
00:36:13.060
you should go to his grave and leave it should i just send an e-transfer to what
00:36:18.500
yeah he's dead i feel like his parents probably left it open
00:36:22.340
next of kin for you to throw 60 bucks and they could take it and i'm like wait
00:36:27.060
leave it open that might be a gas money that he hasn't received
00:36:32.660
he might have driven these guys he drove it he should if he had just done stand-up one of
00:36:37.540
we were like do a spot do five minutes and like he just wouldn't do it he was like
00:36:41.540
no i want to drink yeah i already get posted so stupid i know well
00:36:48.180
he's dead he's happier than us probably he's an eternal bliss no he's not in heaven
00:36:55.380
you think it's all the same like baseline i think there's nothing and you die and you get to do it
00:37:02.180
i think it's if you just think you reincarnate dude you know how okay if you meditate and you just say
00:37:07.620
like the mantra meditation where you just say the same word over and over again if you do that for
00:37:12.660
long enough you i think that's exactly what being dead is it's just purely nothing and your brain
00:37:40.740
the dead walk the earth again no we're not meditating on a podcast
00:37:49.220
you could see an extended meditation on patreon
00:38:03.220
you should do like workout seminars where you're like dressed up like gene simmons with
00:38:27.700
leg warmers and you're like and one and two and one and two and you're just fat struggling that'd be so
00:38:43.380
we will not make that content no we should yeah we're gonna we're gonna come out with a whole bunch
00:38:47.460
of other uh new skits yeah they're gonna be professionally made
00:38:50.740
and we're gonna we're gonna you kind of look like anthony poach
00:38:53.220
those glasses we're gonna make them with uh mike anunziata no no
00:38:58.500
hey bro hey bro mike anunziata is this guy that we know that sounds like hey bro and he looks like
00:39:04.740
yeah he was like i'm gonna film your set bro yeah and he showed up and then he was like and then
00:39:08.900
we showed up he was already there he's like my camera's broken bro i spent four grand on his
00:39:14.180
camera it doesn't work bro it's called magic because it doesn't work it's called magic it's not aids
00:39:19.460
um yeah so that's not gonna happen but we are gonna steal his equipment and hire somebody else
00:39:26.740
yes and we're gonna commit grant that we are look we're adding to the team so if you want to apply
00:39:32.020
online um send us the video of you send us your ancestry.ca
00:39:40.260
if it doesn't say 99 chinese you're not kidding you
00:39:43.220
that's my name i just want to see a video of like a bunch of chinese guys that are jack asters and
00:39:55.140
they put down a plate of loaded nachos and they're like oh oh oh
00:39:59.940
jack asters boom china what do i say when food gets put down boom oh the on route with the burger
00:40:11.780
king boom a burger king on route celebrate his daughter's first birthday oh yeah that was on the
00:40:18.260
way to chatham yeah you got burger king and it got laid out he was like boom this guy was i hadn't
00:40:24.020
seen him so happy at months yeah boom shakalaka that's the roadhouse whopper
00:40:31.860
what else happened this week uh the trudo thing oh was the other thing oh yeah teresa tam
00:40:35.780
teresa tam came back teresa tam came back the cat came back thinks you got jealous of olivia
00:40:41.620
teresa tam teresa tam hey teresa you're so fine you're so fine i wear a message too
00:40:58.980
oh what song is that i don't know i'm trying to make up a song like that one
00:41:03.540
hey hey hey time you're so fine you're so fine you bro i mind hey tam
00:41:18.180
ciao or rivia tam or rivia one is teresa and one is a man
00:41:25.860
it's so funny like the amount of like racist like comments towards teresa tam
00:41:39.860
what do you mean like the only racist towards theresa tam or the only one making like videos mocking her
00:41:45.300
it's funny how you can't just like make a funny video anymore right like it just you make a funny
00:41:53.860
video and like saying you know you have a comedy career oh that's a terrible thing that happened
00:42:03.300
that's what olivia chow sounds like when she snores
00:42:23.300
this is this is what her face olivia chow's face looks like that because she has bell's palsy from
00:42:28.100
getting too many phisers do you think she has one of those like cat things it's like the swinging arms
00:42:46.580
that's all they you they have that there for good luck
00:42:53.220
boardman's like i got sued for putting a towel on my head
00:42:58.100
there's a nationally public post yeah we googled your name in the car and the second image was uh
00:43:06.420
yeah there is an image of you with a towel on your head
00:43:14.180
we were saying that you should have just said like i'm a comedian
00:43:25.940
you're a comedian now so it's okay you can dress up like a black guy
00:43:35.620
let me get you a hijab kids we have a few in the face
00:43:39.780
we got daniel boardman dressed in drag but as a muslim woman
00:43:42.340
there are drag there are like trans people that dress muslim
00:43:52.900
what's that about do you know like they're insane because it's like yeah i want to be
00:43:57.060
in a religion that actively calls for no there's people who are just like legit
00:44:01.060
cognitive dissidents level politically insane like you know the or it's like gay guys
00:44:04.420
the rainbow there's like this left-wing protester who goes to all like the anti-freedom convoy thing
00:44:09.220
like she calls her name's like on twitter she's like rainbow karen but it's like dina sharif or
00:44:17.620
but like her she's like this white lady with like
00:44:20.500
like you know trans hair and like goes on and like
00:44:23.060
yeah but she's like when the whole muslim thing happened she's like
00:44:31.620
i don't think so when islam was invented al-sharif
00:44:59.300
london london ontario sold out we're not doing a second show because that's stupid it's sold out
00:45:06.660
to short notice the bar i've never even been there they've never done comedy oh no it's going to be
00:45:13.940
very bad no it's not gonna be bad at all it's actually a really cool bar it's a it's a really nice
00:45:20.900
bar it's called the doghouse it's gonna be sick the guy's awesome but they haven't done
00:45:25.380
a lot of shows there i didn't want to like be like let's like kick everybody out right i want
00:45:29.060
it to be like kind of more like a vibe like hang out yeah it's about get out yeah um which is why
00:45:35.780
you know the the whole controversies that have been happening
00:45:49.860
all of the controversies that have been happening with me getting canceled from theater venues
00:45:54.740
not from comedy clubs so all the theaters that i you know wanted to rent because
00:46:01.380
right now if i do a comedy club i sell 300 tickets a lot of the clubs are only 150 so i'm
00:46:06.100
doing two shows i have to work twice as hard for less money than if i had
00:46:11.060
was was renting a theater um but those theaters are all woke so i'm not allowed to perform there so
00:46:17.220
gotta be a yuck yuck stepped up to the plate they're the best thank you mark and yucks um
00:46:24.100
and we're fucking ripping these shows dude toronto toronto's almost sold out almost sold out
00:46:30.660
downtown that's about 300 people so we're almost sold out at 300 that's gonna be fucking amazing
00:46:37.700
what's the other uh friday friday the 22nd we're in waterloo friday the 22nd in waterloo
00:46:42.980
pop-up show at inosante brewing in the sauna um and then october 11th and 12th
00:46:50.100
halifax st john's and then there's gonna be a bit of a break for a month or so and then we're gonna
00:46:57.460
be back on the road mid-november doing the entire west coast from mid-november until basically like
00:47:04.020
christmas and then we're gonna be planning a big possibly toronto maybe somewhere else you guys tell
00:47:09.780
me in the comments where you think we should do a new year's show um we want to do a big new year's
00:47:15.780
fun event so maybe not that big because people don't really want to do really good if we do it
00:47:21.860
with the daniel boidman's parents we might have a cigarette
00:47:27.620
light a cigarette daniel let us smoke cigarettes
00:47:30.340
wait kid kid kid kid you want to make it this industry you got to get second hand cancer
00:47:39.460
anyway guys we love you sign for patreon go buy a chow t-shirt chow
00:47:47.620
that's how you say bye chow chow chow chow chow